大帝 第一季 第三集
我们会让每个人都享有免费的面包和药品 We will have free bread and medicine for all,
每个人都能拥有教育和艺术 education and art for all.
每个俄罗斯人心中都充满快乐 Every Russian heart will be full of joy,
腹中都充满食物 their stomach full of food,
脑中都充满想法 and their mind full of ideas.
这里是俄罗斯 This is Russia.
这话是什么意思 Well, what does that mean?
你得让人信服 It needs to be believable.
我们必须心存高远 We must aim high.
不 他说得对 No, he's right.
"你不会被强奸 孩子不会被杀掉 "No one will rape you or kill your children,
偶尔还会有面包" 这就够了 and occasionally there will be some bread" would be enough.
目前我已经写了74页的施政纲领了 Oh, so far, I've written a 74-page treatise.
文艺复兴时期法国思想家
我想着要引用点蒙田 I thought perhaps some Montaigne.
意大利政治思想家和历史学家
我在马基亚维利上卡住了 I got stuck on Machiavelli.
在法语翻译版中 Read in the French translation,
他说为达目的可以不择手段 he says the ends justify the means.
可在意大利原版里 他只是随便提了几句 But in the original Italian, he merely asks.
真抱歉 Oh, sorry!
我刚明明端着托盘 I was holding... holding the tray,
然后我听你们俩对话就睡着了 and then I fell asleep listening to you both.
这到底是政变还是读书俱乐部啊 Is this a coup or a fucking book club?
俄式薄煎饼口味一定要淡 带一丝 就一丝 The blini must be lighter, with a hint, a fucking hint,
迷迭香 而不是他妈的一大坨 of rosemary, not a fucking ballbag of it.
我觉得没问题 I think it is right.
浓烈挺好的 Strong is good.
也许你说得对 路易 让我再尝尝 Maybe you're right, Louis. Let me check again.
还是不对 Turns out, no.
您的演说这样如何 像这样说 How's this for your speech? Something like this:
"我的父皇彼得大帝是前无古人的领袖 "My father, Peter the Great, was a leader like none before,
他率领俄罗斯一跃成为这世上前所未有的 "Who catapulted Russia to a greatness hitherto
伟大国家 "Never seen on this Earth.
他无人能及 横扫大地犹如巨大的..." Without parallel, a man who bestrode the lands like a colossus--"
闭嘴吧 阿卡迪 Oh, shut up, Arkady.
您不喜欢 You don't like it?
我不记得新政里规定我还要 I do not remember the new rule
为让你闭嘴去做解释 where I justify why I tell you to shut up.
你记得有吗 Do you?
-我讨厌这些混蛋 -谁 - I hate these fuckers. - Who?
将军们 您父王的弟兄们 The generals, your father's buddies.
我们还是孩子时 他们多混蛋啊 When we were kids, what assholes.
不 很不错的人 必须让他们享受一天 No. No, marvelous men, and they must have a great day.
那将是非常盛大的一天 It will be a grand day,
来纪念您的父皇并彰显您的荣耀 that honors your father and reflects glory on you.
只要俄罗斯薄饼能做对就行 If we get the fucking blini right, it will.
利奥·沃伦斯基 Leo Voronsky.
我把他都忘到一边了 Oh. Forgot all about him.
沙皇 荣幸之至 Emperor, it's an honor.
那是自然 Of course it is.
把你的阳具亮出来看看 Show us your cock.
遵命 Of course.
了不起 Marvelous.
-乔治 -确实 - George? - Indeed.
掌声 Chaps?
太棒了 Hmm. Brilliant.
来 Come.
我们为什么不能直接杀了他 Why do we not just kill him?
下次他趴你身上时 刺他的脸 Next time he is on you, stab him in the face.
我从后面 奥罗割他的喉咙 你就成女沙皇了 I in the back, Orlo cuts his throat, and then you are empress,
而我就成为了玛丽埃尔女爵 and I am Lady Marial.
剧终 The end.
可没...没这么简单 But it-- it is not so simple.
我们需要教会从讲坛之上向全俄罗斯 We need the church to ratify her to the whole of Russia
认可她的登基 因此他们必须支持她才行 from the pulpit after, so they must support her.
还有如果艾凡活着 And if Ivan is alive,
我们需要一支站在我们这边的军队 we need a sympathetic military,
因为如果我们在一切安排就绪前动手杀他 for if we kill him before that is all in place,
那军队和其他人就可能站到艾凡那边 then the military and others may get behind Ivan,
并将凯瑟琳推翻 and run over Catherine in the process.
都没有人知道艾凡在哪 No one even knows where Ivan is.
-艾凡是谁 -彼得的同父异母弟弟 - Who is Ivan? - Ivan is Peter's half-brother,
是彼得大帝的私生子 bastard son to Peter the Great.
在彼得刚登基时 His supporters tried to take
他的支持者们试图夺取皇位 the throne after Peter first came to power.
我会查清他在哪 I will find out where he is.
怎么查 How?
聪明地查 Cleverly.
我想我们得要一年时间才能把小册子搞好 I suspect we need a year to get our pamphlets just right.
难怪你没上过任何人 It's no wonder you never fuck anyone.
你... 不许你这么对我讲话 You-- you cannot speak to me like that.
因为我是奴仆吗 Because I am a serf?
因为这很无礼 Because it's rude.
好大的胆子 How dare you!
你竟然踱进我的寝宫 先生 You just walk into my chambers, sir.
我... 我本想骑马进来 I-- I would have ridden,
-但我的马爬不了楼梯 -皇后 - but my horse has trouble with stairs. - Empress?
奥罗 你在这干什么 Orlo, what are you doing here?
他给我带了本书 He brought me a book.
我想皇后陛下会感兴趣... Uh, I, I thought the empress would be interested--
-我的天 你闷死了 出去 -陛下 - Oh, God, you're dull. Get out. - Sir.
我给你带了个礼物 我答应过你送你个情人 I have brought you a gift. I promised you a lover.
情人 A lover?
我想得很周到 我同意 他是利奥 It is thoughtful of me, I agree. This is Leo.
他的爸爸谢尔盖是著名的大众情人 His father, Sergei, was a famous ladies' man.
利奥很聪明 会读书 背十四行诗 Leo is smart, reads books, recites sonnets,
能比肩最棒的猎手 喜欢美酒佳肴 can hunt with the best, enjoys fine wines and offal,
而且家伙巨大 and has a pretty big cock.
还有加分 小时候得过腮腺炎所以生不了孩子 Added advantage: had mumps as a child, so is sterile. Huzzah.
希望你满意 I hope you like him.
让她高兴 否则 Make her happy, or else.
得走了 重要的一天 Must dash. Big day.
你可以走了 先生 You may go, sir.
您... 我还是别走了 You-- I'd rather not.
我不管 我说了你可以走了 I do not care. I said you may go.
我还是待一会儿吧 至少让他觉得一切顺利 I'd rather stay a while, so at least he thought it went well,
如果您不反对的话 if you don't mind.
如果您反对 那我诚心邀请您观摩我被处决 And if you do, I cordially invite you to my execution
并为没能好好互相认识而遗憾 and wish we'd known each other better.
好吧 Fine.
就... Just...
坐在那 sit there.
谢谢您 I thank you.
我们刚刚一直在听 那是你的情人么 We were listening. Is that your lover?
-明显是 -他长得很好看 - Apparently. - Mmm, he is very good-looking.
-我没有注意 -嗯 - I did not notice. - Hmm.
真是恶心 他直接给我一个情人 It is disgusting that he would just give me a lover,
就像我是等着享受服务的动物 like I am an animal to be serviced.
你会得到周到的服务 Well, you would be serviced well.
他是沃龙斯基家族的人 他们是有名的情人 He's a Voronsky, they are well-known lovers.
-是吗 -嗯 他的爸爸可是个传奇 - Really? - Mm. His father was legendary.
该死 Fuck.
我们这周才刚刚开始我们的筹谋 The very week we start our adventure,
彼得就送了你这个男人 Peter gifts you this man.
谁都知道他会往各个地方安插间谍 He is well-known to insert spies into situations.
我看他这么干过 该死 他可能知道了 I've seen him do it before. Oh, fuck. Maybe he knows.
而且我还在这里 到处是我们的小册子 And I was there and we had our pamphlets everywhere.
上帝保佑 Jesus Christ.
-上帝保佑 -奥罗 放轻松 - Jesus Christ-- - Orlo, relax.
彼得不知道 Peter does not know.
他不会知道 He could not.
我会把他送回去 I will give him back.
怎么做 他是彼得给你的礼物 How? He's Peter's gift.
智取 Cleverly.
皇后陛下 宫廷女士茶话会 Empress, you wanted to know
要用的裙子 它们已经到了 when the dresses for the ladies' tea arrived.
太好了 Oh, it's great!
这件太漂亮了 That is very nice.
皇后陛下 你喜欢这件么 Empress, do you like it?
这件看起来非常棒 It looks marvelous.
你一定会引人注目 You will stand out.
就跟我平时一样 As I always do.
来吧 Come on.
太宏伟了 有必要这么大吗 It's very big. Did it have to be so big?
当然 你的父亲是个非常杰出的男人 Of course. Your father was an exceptional man.
记得那时候我17岁 晚餐的时候他看着我 I remember when I was 17 and he'd look at me at dinner.
周围的空气好像变稀薄了 It was like the very air around me thinned,
我不能呼吸 and I could not breathe.
有天 他走进我的房间 我在里面 One day, he just walked into the room I was in, and...
我们四目相对 接着我就意识到了 locked eyes on mine, and I knew.
我提起裙子 俯身趴在桌子上 And I just lifted up my dress and bent over the table,
他进来然后拿走了我 and he came and took me.
我的第一次 My first-ever time.
上帝啊 God.
一想起来我下面就湿了 I'm wet at the thought of it.
你可以不用听这个故事 You perhaps did not need to hear that story.
我知道 当时我也在 I knew it. I was there.
什么 What?
我在房间里 In the room.
-在墙角玩玩具士兵 -真的吗 - Playing soldiers in the corner. - Really?
诡异的场面 How strange.
该死 这制服太紧了 Fucking suit's too tight.
你也会成长成一位英明的君主 You, too, will grow into a great leader.
他可不这么认为 He didn't think so.
他只是严格要求你 He challenged you, that is all.
赶上他 Meet it.
还是太大了 It's too big.
见鬼 Fucking thing.
你们知道沙皇陛下给凯瑟琳送了个情人么 Know anything about this lover the emperor has given Catherine?
什么 情人 What? Lover?
这很轻浮而且恶心 That is immoral and disgusting.
可怜的孩子 Poor child.
所以你们不知道 So you did not know?
这会不会不是一步让子 It is not a gambit of some sort?
而是为了监视她 A spy on her?
皇后陛下 皇后陛下 The Emperor! Empress!
-谢谢你的礼物 -嗯 你试过他了吗 - Thank you for the gift. - Hmm. Did you try him yet?
谢谢你的好意 但是我并不需要情人 It is very kind, but I do not need a lover.
我有你了 I have you.
我们做爱就像海狸啃啮木头一样无趣 Our fucking is as dull as a beaver chomping at a log.
你需要一个情人 会让你提起兴趣 You need a lover. It will cheer you.
格里戈尔 你和你妻子做爱时感觉怎样 Grigor, how happy does it make me to fuck your wife?
仿佛是源源不断的快乐 It seems to be a constant source of joy.
这就是我希望你能拥有的 And that is exactly what I wish for you.
他们来了 闭嘴 Here they come. Shut up.
-把你的奖章给我几个 -什么 - Give me some of your medals. - What?
把你该死的奖章分我几个 Give me some of your fucking medals.
欢迎回家 Welcome home.
俄国战士是世界上最伟大的 The Russian fighting man is the greatest in the world.
我准备了迷迭香布利尼饼 I have created a rosemary blini,
填满鸡心 stuffed with chicken hearts,
代表那些邪恶的金发瑞典杂种 representing those evil, blond Swedish fucks.
我们可以大口咀嚼他们美味的心 We will munch on their tasty hearts.
-好啊 -然后 - Huzzah! - And then,
喝下我父亲最爱的加了胡椒的黑色伏特加 wash it down with a black, pepper vodka that my father loved,
就像他爱你们一样 as he loved you all.
干杯 敬彼得大帝 Huzzah. To Peter the Great.
敬我 彼得 To me. Peter the...
就是我 Me!
好 Huzzah!
绅士们 在那些瑞典人还在这几天照顾伤员 Gentlemen, while the Swedes tend their wounded for a day or two
在我们击溃他们之前 before we crush them properly,
让我们大快朵颐举杯畅饮 庆祝我们的伟大 we will eat and drink, and celebrate our greatness.
-好啊 -好 - Huzzah. - Huzzah!
很顺利 你觉得呢 格里戈尔 It went well, did you think, Grigor?
大获成功 It was a triumph.
需要我向您汇报作战会议的摘要吗 陛下 If I might brief you on the military briefing, sir.
我是跟我父亲一样的天生将才 I am an instinctive military genius as my father before me.
不需要什么会议摘要 I need no briefing.
是的 Yes, indeed.
我 赞同你赠送给皇后陛下 I have, um... come to understand that you've
情人的事情 陛下 gifted a lover to the empress, sir.
我也很愿意在这方面履行职务 I would like to offer my services in this regard,
如果这个不行 还需要替代的话 if this one does not work out and a replacement is required.
-格里戈尔 你是不是 -我是 - Grigor, did you...? - I did.
-真好笑 维勒门托夫 -太有趣了 陛下 - That's rich, Velementov. - Oh, bravo, sir.
-我认为 -你能想象吗 - I, I feel, uh... - Can you imagine?
这头疣猪和他纤细的生殖器 This warthog with his tiny cock
可能顶端只能射出伏特加 that spurts only vodka on top of the--
你笑死我了 停不下来 真厉害 You have cheered me, no end. Bravo.
是的 我创造了标志性的笑话 Indeed. A remarkable jape from me.
伊丽莎白姨妈 Aunt Elizabeth.
亲爱的凯瑟琳 Darling Catherine.
-看这个笑容 -嗯 - Look at that smile. - Mm.
笑容是救世之物 不是吗 It's a lifesaver, isn't it?
当然是 Indeed.
看看这些鱼 Look at these fish.
我曾看着他们 觉得它们十分满足 I used to watch them, thinking them quite content.
现在我认识到它们只是他妈的完全疯了 Now I realize they've gone completely fucking mad.
谁是艾凡 Who's Ivan?
谁提到了亲爱的艾凡 Who mentioned dear Ivan?
我偶然听到有人说 不知道是谁 I overheard someone. I don't know who.
这一切对我还很新奇 我记名字比较慢 I am still new, and I'm rather slow to learn names.
但好像是个有些骇人的谜团 But it did seem a somewhat thrilling mystery.
免礼 As you were.
我只有一个钥匙 I have the only key.
-艾凡 -丽萃 - Ivan! - Lizzy!
蛋糕 Cake!
-这是凯瑟琳 -是皇后 - This is Catherine. - The empress.
很高兴认识你 Lovely to meet you.
你喜欢我的图画吗 Do you like my pictures?
很好 Marvelous.
长这么高了 Getting so big.
我们得走了 We must go now.
彼得会来看我吗 Is Peter coming to see me?
-他很忙 -我不会捅他的 - He's very busy. - I won't stab him.
我没有在任何地方藏刀子 I haven't even hidden a knife anywhere.
你当然没有 你太可爱了 Of course you haven't. You're far too sweet.
我母亲呢 My mother?
还在国外 Still abroad.
凯瑟琳 下次再来看我 Catherine, come visit me again.
我会的 I will.
你他妈的发誓 Fucking promise it!
亲爱的 亲爱的 你太粗鲁了 Darling! Darling! Rude.
抱歉 我只是想要有个人一起玩儿 Sorry. I just want someone to play with.
当然了 亲爱的 Of course you do, darling.
我晚点再来 I'll be back later.
他对我们来说是个危险的存在 He is a danger to us.
我想我们可以杀掉他 I suppose we should kill him,
但他是家庭一分子 我们很重感情 but he is sort of family, and we are sentimental.
但现在你来了 很快你们会有子嗣 But now there is you, and soon an heir.
谢谢您带我来看 Thank you for showing me.
你是我家人 我带你看任何事 Oh, you are my family. I will show you everything.
包括如何在这里找到欢乐 Including how to find happiness here,
你也会为我们剩下子嗣 巩固我们的统治 and you will bear us an heir and strengthen our line.
但你也必须知道危险的存在 But you must also know where danger lies.
如果你看到谁说起了他 就告诉我 If you see who was talking about him, you point them out to me.
一定 Indeed.
好 Huzzah!
先生们 我们开始吧 Gentlemen, let us begin.
瑞典...首先 来敬杯酒 The Swede-- First, a toast.
敬给我们的朋友和领袖 To our friend and leader,
沙皇的父亲 彼得大帝 the emperor's father, Peter the Great.
好 Huzzah!
为了纪念他 我有了新的伤口 I have a new one, in his honor.
厉害 厉害 Booya! Booya!
我包里还有抓我那个瑞典人的鼻子 I also have the Swede's nose who scratched me, in a bag!
厉害 厉害 Booya! Booya!
敬我军英勇的俄国战士 To our brave Russian fighting men from my battalion,
他们在战场赢得战争 who have won a battle on the field,
开启胜利的机会 opening up a chance of victory!
不 如果我们... No, if we--
我的军队 以一当二 My battalion, outnumbered two to one,
把这些混蛋逼到峡谷去了 ran these fuckers into a ravine,
然后我们只需在上面等待数天 and then we just waited above them for days,
直到那帮混蛋疯了之后自杀了 till the fuckers went mad and shot themselves.
我们能开始了吗 Can we start?
的确 Indeed.
请注意 瑞典人在这里 Focus up. The Swedes are here,
这里以及这里 here, and here.
-现在 我建议 -把它给我 - Now, I suggest-- - Give me that.
当我开始对瑞典作战时 是因为... When I started this war against Sweden, it was because...
我父亲战胜了他们 我... Well, my father beat them, and I...
众所周知 瑞典人是他妈的堕落的动物 and the Swedes are fucking depraved animals, as is well known.
是一帮金发 长得像麋鹿 Blond, moose buggering,
吃饭狼吞虎咽 没幽默感的混蛋们 lingonberry gorging, humorless fucks,
却有一个对我们很有利的海港 with a seaport we would do well to have.
但是 你们没有夺取海港 反而不得不后退了 But then, instead of winning, you allow us to be pushed back,
现在他们已经进入俄国了 so they are now in Russia itself.
总的来说 真他妈是一团糟 It's a fucking mess, to summarize.
所以我有一个计划 So I have a plan.
我建议我们... I say we...
从这里出发 经过这里 come from here, through here,
把我们的军队一分为四 同时行进 split our forces in four, all at once,
可能是夜间行进 所以他们看不到我们 probably at night, so they cannot see us.
也许我们可以骑马过去 Maybe we have horses,
但它们太吵了 所以也许我们就跑过去吧 although they are noisy, so maybe we just run there.
然后 黎明之际 当他们在早餐时 Then, at dawn, when they are breakfasting
一手抓着自己的鸡巴一手抓着黄油鸡蛋圆面包 with cock in one hand and brioche in other,
此时我们出击摧毁对方 在早上赢得战争 we attack and destroy them, winning the war in one morning.
好啊 Huzzah!
想法很有意思 It's an interesting idea.
是天才想法 你得一点点理解 死胖子 It is genius. Pick it apart if you can, you fat fuck.
厉害 Booya!
沙皇 这是一条河 11英尺深 Well... Sir, this is a river, 11 feet deep,
你希望我们的战士通过这条河 which you wish our men to cross.
用船过去 Boats.
带着船吗 Carry boats?
-对 -可能会拖延行军速度 沙皇 - Yes. - May slow us down somewhat, sir,
让我们容易遭敌攻击 making us susceptible to attack.
而且 这里是一片开阔的平原 Also, this is an open plain.
无法悄悄接近他们 It cannot be approached by stealth.
趁夜入侵 身着黑衣 At night, wearing black.
或者穿绿色衣服 如果草够深的话 Or green, if the grass is tall.
沙皇给我们提供了可供思考的提议 The emperor has given us much food for thought.
我会制定我的计划 I will lay out my plan and incorporate
并使用沙皇的好想法 some of the emperor's fine thoughts.
好 Huzzah.
好 Huzzah!
发出声就好 Just sound it out.
老... 虎 Ti... gers?
老虎... Tigers...
对了 Yes.
...喜欢吃...人 ...like to eat... people.
对 Yes!
谢谢你 Thank you.
你送他回去之前 至少拔光他看看 You could at least unwrap him before you send him back.
我有太多更重要的事情要做 I have far more important things to do.
白费了你皇后的身份 Being empress is wasted on you.
-我见到了艾凡 -该死 - I met Ivan. - Fuck.
-他在哪 -王宫里 - Where? - In the palace!
关在与世隔绝戒备森严的地方 Locked away and heavily guarded.
所以我们需要军队 So we need the military.
事实上 为什么不用维勒门托夫 他是军队首领 In fact, why not Velementov himself, the leader of the military?
我觉得 他喜欢我 He has a shine for me, I believe.
看来 他垂涎你的事藏不住了 The drooling gives it away, I think.
我们必须告知奥罗 必须让他也行动起来 We must tell Orlo. He must work on them, too.
你好 Hello.
我的丈夫是怎么跟你说的 What did my husband say to you?
他说我来这里是为了取悦你 He said I was to make you happy,
还说这对他很重要 said it was important to him.
-没别的了吗 -还有 - And that is all? - There was more.
他说如果你在做爱时 He said if you showed any
有什么生动的表现 animation at all while we were doing it--
发出声音 搅动四肢 或者气喘吁吁 emit a noise, stir a limb, puff a breath--
他会奖励我一千卢布 he would give me a thousand rubles,
给我的阴茎铸造铜像放在博物馆展览 bronze my manhood and put it on display in a museum.
那你回答了什么 And what did you say to that?
我说要是俄国真的有博物馆 那还不错 I said I thought it would just be nice if Russia had a museum.
知道了 I see.
他为什么选择你 And why did he choose you?
我猜 你们是朋友 You are friends, I assume?
因为我父亲的引荐 我见过他两次 I have met him twice, through my father.
那个声名远播的情人 The famous lover.
那太贬低他了 他是个无与伦比的男人 It is to undersell him. He was a fascinating man,
爱女人 音乐 酒 who loved women, music, wine,
坐在开阔的地方和他的儿子一起 and sitting a field watching
看椋鸟在日落时飞舞起漩涡 starlings swirl at sunset with his son.
但是人们却总是只把他当做一个情人 But the ladies' man seems to be what has stuck.
所以 你也是一个专业的情人 So, you are a professional lover also.
不要嘲笑我 Do not laugh at me.
我跟你分享一件好笑的事 我们一起笑 I will share the joke and then we will laugh together.
因为我确信你不想要情人 As I take it you do not desire a lover,
我可以跟你分享我的秘密 I will let you in on my secret.
我只做过一次爱 I have only had sex once,
和我的一个喝醉了酒 with my drunk and very sweet,
可爱又丰腴的表妹 应该是她强上了我 very plump cousin who rather forced herself upon me.
我感觉 并不是不舒服 It was not unpleasant, I suppose,
但是我当时确实不知道我干了什么 but I really had no idea what I was doing.
-你父亲从未教过你吗 -没有 - Your father did not educate you? - Not really.
他坚信人需要自己发现与探索 He was a big believer in discovery, and adventure,
他说他不会剥夺我享受这两件事的权利 and said he would not deprive me of either.
你准备引诱我吗 Do you aim to charm me?
我当然不想被杀死 I would like not to be killed, of course.
但是我想不出什么能诱惑到你 But I cannot guess what will charm you,
就像我想不出怎么才能自救一样 as I cannot really guess what will save me.
人要活得简单 然后相信事情会有转机 One must simply live and hope it goes well
然后自然会找到乐趣 and is fun while one does it.
或者我至少应该试试引诱你 Unless I should try to charm you.
事实上 我要试试 Actually, I will try.
尽管出了岔子可能会演变成灾难 但会很有趣 It'll be fun, albeit possibly fatal if it goes awry.
我懂 一个情人理所当然应该准备礼物 I know, a lover should, of course, bring a gift.
但你没有 But you have not.
其实我带了 I have indeed.
你弄错了 You have made an error.
这不是礼物 只是一个桃子 It is not a gift. It is a peach.
你吃的时候 把它放进嘴里 When you eat it, you should put it into your mouth,
咬一口 把头向后仰 bite it once, tip your head back,
让果汁流进你的喉咙 and let the juice run into your throat.
我知道怎么吃桃子 I know how to eat a peach.
我不会再像这样低估你了 I will never underestimate you again.
太棒了 Extraordinary!
果汁流进喉咙聚集在里面 The juice runs in and pools at the throat,
然后果味喷涌出来 就像甜味的瀑布 and then gushes down, like a waterfall of sweetness.
你今晚可以在这里过夜 You may stay the night.
睡在躺椅上 Sleep on the chaise.
到了早上 我会去见彼得 Then in the morning, I shall go to Peter,
感谢他把你送给我 你很让人满意 thank him for you, say you were pleasant.
你安全了 我们就结束了 You shall be safe, and we will be done.
完美 Grand.
过来 Come on!
他走了吗 那个间谍 So he is gone? The spy?
是的 我说了我会处理好的 Yes, I said I would.
不说这个 我们必须开始处理军队的事 Regardless, we must make some headway with the military.
不是在明面上安排 而是做一些准备工作 Not lay it out proper, but begin preparing the ground.
终于有些行动了 Finally some action.
现在是合适的时机么 Is this the best time? Uh...
酒后吐真言 奥罗 In vino veritas, Orlo.
去吧 Go forth.
该死 Fuckers.
是谁把河流涂成绿色的 谁干的 And who paints a river green? Hmm? Who does that?
蓝色 他们他妈是蓝色的 从古至今 Blue, they are fucking blue, traditionally.
我们不演奏些音乐吗 Why don't we play some music?
我也需要一个名号 I need a name, too.
彼得... Peter the...
-我能叫什么 -这 - What can I be? - Uh...
有趣的彼得 Peter the Fun.
掌控一切的彼得 Peter the Masterful.
糟糕的彼得 Uh, Peter the Terrible.
我想要一些鼓舞人心的名字 阿卡迪 I want something inspiring, Arkady.
这很鼓舞人心 能激起恐惧心理 It is inspiring. It inspires fear.
还有历史底蕴 大家都爱麻烦 And has a rich history, everyone loves the terribles.
见鬼 全都滚吧 Just fuck off, all of you.
我明天还有演讲 I have my speech tomorrow.
维勒门托夫 Oh. Velementov?
我以为这是图书馆 I thought this was the library.
这座王宫让我完全迷了路 I'm completely lost in this palace.
皇后陛下 很荣幸见到你 Empress, it is an honor.
可能是命中注定 我早就想跟你谈谈 Perhaps it is fate. I have wanted to talk to you.
和我 你 太好了 上帝 And I, you. Good God.
你真是光彩照人 You're luminous,
光彩夺目 全身发着光 luminous, with luminosity.
谢谢你 Why, thank you.
-你让我想起了我的父亲 -我 - You remind me of my father. - I'm, uh...
我确定 我更年轻 I'm younger, I'm sure, and, uh...
我的阴茎也还在鼎盛时期 and in the prime of manhood.
喝酒么 Uh... drink?
他是一个恪尽职守的军人 He was a serious military man.
因为国家的首领 总是郁郁不得志 Uh... often frustrated by the leaders of the country.
没错 所以我们很像 Indeed. Then we are alike.
没错 一个好的军人乐意抛头颅洒热血 Exactly. A good military man is happy to spill men's blood
而不是浪费他们的鲜血 but not waste men's blood.
我说出你心中所想了对吗 Have I read you wrong?
你是 幻觉 You are... vision.
你的皮肤 Your skin is...
-你在哭吗 -有点 是的 - Are you weeping? - A little, yes.
你的美貌令人神伤 Your beauty hurts.
-好吧 -我 - Right. - I...
如果我们有一个规范 一个行动的标准 If we had a philosophy, a criteria for action,
我真想知道这会有什么不同 I just wonder what a difference that would make.
我觉得你很亲切 I feel a kinship with you.
我也是 I do, too.
放开我 Aah! Get off!
皇后陛下 我要解放我的小东西了 Empress, I will unprise my member.
上帝啊 你快放开我 Oh, God. You will get off me!
那是什么 湿湿的 What is that... wet?
我尿裤子了 I pissed myself.
让我稍微躺会儿 集中精力 Let me lie here a little and gather my energies,
然后我会释放出热烈的激情 before I unleash a storm of passion!
混蛋 Fucker!
放他们下来 Get... them... down!
安东 情况如何 Anton. How goes it?
-简直是灾难 -简报怎么样 - Disastrously. - How was the briefing?
我听说很有趣 Interesting, I heard.
那人他妈的就是个白痴 The guy's a fucking idiot.
你喝醉了 You are drunk.
你见过新皇后吗 Ha-have you met the new empress?
-我听说她是个婊子 -不 不 完全不是 - I heard she's a bitch. - No, no, no. Not at all.
她是独一无二的 She is one of a kind.
我来介绍你们认识 I, I will make an introduction.
我该帮你换上睡衣 还是说点好话安慰你 Shall I dress you for bed or just oil you down?
-今晚过得怎么样 -差点被强奸 - How was your evening? - Avoided rape.
-你呢 -也一样 - You? - Same.
如果有人发明了比纽扣更好解开的东西 If anyone ever invents something easier than buttons,
我们就都有麻烦了 we are all in trouble.
你退下吧 You may go.
但如果我们把凉亭建在河边 But if we put the pavilion near the river,
我们就可以悠闲地看风景 we can just laze and watch,
然后光着身子从上面跳进冷水里 and then just fall off it, naked, into the cool water.
真有诗意 Poetry.
我本来想请求他 I was going to ask him
让我们下个月去那里住几个星期 to let us go there next month for a few weeks.
-他不会的答应的 -问一下吧 - He will not. - We can ask.
当然 Of course.
你起来了 很好 You're up. Good.
-你还好吗 -当然 - Are you all right? - Of course.
你需要谈谈吗 Do you need to talk?
我直接睡了 I'll just sleep.
该死的 Fuckers.
我最亲爱的格里戈尔 你来了 Ah, my dearest Grigor, there you are.
我们不想吵醒你 We did not wish to wake you.
你有心了 Kindness itself.
你有根毛跑出来了 You have a loose hair, actually.
真粗鲁 Ow. Brutal.
抱歉 但今天是个大日子 Apologies, but it is a big day.
确实 我感觉很好 Yes it is. I feel good.
你们是我最亲爱的朋友 拥抱我 You're my dearest friends. Embrace me.
我跟格里戈尔觉得 我们可以去乡下 Grigor and I thought we might go to the country,
去我们的庄园住一个月 to our estate for a month.
-是的 -我们要去看看房子 - Right. - We have some building to check on.
我们也希望能 And we'd love to bring
给你带回这个季节第一批柑橘 you back the first quinces of the season.
好吧 当然 All right. Sure.
你在写什么 What are you writing?
没有什么 就是一封信 Nothing. Just... A letter.
你一定是想家了 You must miss home.
是的 我想家了 Yes. I do.
茶来了 先生 Tea, sir.
谢谢你 弗拉德 Thank you, Vlad.
弗拉德是弗拉基米尔的简称还是弗拉的全称 Is Vlad short for Vladimir or long for Vla?
-对不起 -我们不能因为引力而怪你 弗拉德 - I'm so sorry. - We cannot blame you for gravity, Vlad.
因为什么 什么是... For...? Wh-what is... ?
这就是引力 弗拉德 This is gravity, Vlad.
万事万物都会落下来 弗拉德 Everything comes down, Vlad.
无形的力在起作用 Unseen forces at work.
盘子呢 What about a plate?
万有引力 Gravity.
那羽毛呢 Or... A feather?
羽毛是挺能飘的 Oh, well, they fight a good fight.
不过嘛 But alas...
-弗拉德 -万有引力 - Vlad? - Gravity.
我去吃早饭 然后和彼得谈谈 I shall go to breakfast and speak to Peter,
然后你就可以走了 and then you may go.
我建议我们演一场戏 帮你演完 Might I suggest we perform a small playlet, to aid your game?
-演一场戏 -让他以为一切顺利 - A playlet? - To convince him it went well.
我讨厌法庭上假惺惺的一切 I hate all the pretend at court.
你必须把它当作一个愚蠢的游戏 You must treat it as a foolish game.
观众就是你的猎物 当他们相信你的时候 The viewer is your quarry and when they're convinced,
你就赢了 还愚弄了他们 you have won and have made a fool of them.
这是你的胜利 That's a victory for you.
这...没准有用 It is... possibly helpful.
咯咯笑就够了 A giggle is good.
咯咯笑 A giggle?
轻松有趣 It is light and fun.
我不是六岁小孩了 我不咯咯笑 I am not six. I do not giggle.
那我来吧 I'll do it, then.
这种声音太荒谬了 That is a preposterous sound.
利奥 在走廊里坐下 我一会儿再见你 Leo, sit in the hallway. I will see you shortly.
看来他让你开心了 So he has made you happy, it seems?
是的 Indeed.
那么呢 So?
谢谢 Thank you.
利奥 Leo?
你让皇后高兴了 You have made the empress happy.
干得好 Good job.
这拳是因为你上了我妻子 但干得好 好极了 That's for fucking my wife. But well done. Bravo.
完成了 他现在可以走了 It is done, so he may go now.
什么 What?
我们度过了一个愉快的夜晚 We spent a pleasant night,
我非常感谢你的礼物 and I thank you profusely for the gift.
所以 他可以走了 So, he may go.
要是你想让他走 说明他也没有 Oh, so he cannot have made you that happy
让你高兴到哪去 if you want him to go.
愉快的夜晚 A pleasant night?
什么他妈的是愉快的夜晚 现在你又想让他走 What the fuck is a pleasant night? And now you wish him to go?
真他妈失败啊 利奥 That is a fucking failure. Leo!
我对你和你父亲都很失望 I am very disappointed in you, as would your father be.
抱歉 先生 So sorry, sir.
住手 我不知道我能留住他 Stop! I did not know I could keep him.
-什么 -我以为这个礼物只有一晚 - What? - I thought it was a gift, for a night.
我没想到这件事能继续下去 I did not realize it could be ongoing.
能留住他真是太好了 Oh, it is marvelous to keep him.
太好了 谢谢你 丈夫 Huzzah. I thank you, husband.
好 好吧 Right. Okay.
好好干 否则我就把你完美的鸡巴砍掉 Do it well or I will cut your perfect cock off,
如果它不能讨人欢心 那就是个无用的废物 as it is a useless appendage if you cannot use it to bring joy.
宙斯 来 Zeus! Come on.
-你没事吧 -没事 - Are you all right? - Fine.
谢谢 Oh. Thanks.
天啊 真好吃 God, this is delicious.
你今天剩下的时间干什么 So what is the rest of your day?
你怎么能这么乐观 How can you be so sanguine?
你不想打烂他的头吗 Do you not wish to break his head open?
不 我想好好享受我的早餐 我也正在这么做 No, I wish to enjoy my breakfast, which is what I'm doing.
我能来点咖啡吗 May I have some coffee, please?
他刚刚打了你 He just beat you.
几分钟前的事了 It was minutes ago.
-你很困惑 -顺便说一句 谢谢你救了我 - You are baffling. - Thank you for saving me, by the way.
你没必要这么做 You don't need to do that.
事实上 他想怎么对我就怎么对我 Truth is, he'll do as he wishes with me--
吊死我 剥我皮 或者带我去打猎吃顿好午饭 hang me, flay me, or take me hunting and for a nice lunch.
一个人不能让自己生活在恐惧之中 One cannot let oneself live in fear of that.
他可以踢我 He can kick me,
但我不会让他夺走我享受这颗蛋 but I will not let him rob me of my enjoyment of this egg,
这杯咖啡 或是今天的欢乐 that coffee, or this day.
我不会让恐惧夺走我的生命 I will not let fear take my life from me.
我完全理解 I understand entirely.
夫人们的茶会就要开始了 Ladies' tea is about to begin.
你当然想去的吧 You inexplicably wanted to go?
确实如此 你应该和我一起 Indeed, I do. And you shall join me.
-我还是不了 -我就想让你去 - Oh, I'd rather not. - And I'd rather so.
利奥 也许你也应该来 Leo, you should probably come.
离我近点 以防他怀疑你为什么没和我在一起 Be near, in case he wonders why you're not with me.
斯芬斯卡夫人 Lady Svenska.
你看起来真漂亮 How wonderful you look!
我... I--
你会发现她很喜欢俄罗斯 You will see she has a love for Russia
还带来了激昂灵动的新思想 and a fresh mind that inspires.
好吧 安东尼娅 All right. Antonia!
亲爱的 发生了什么事 My darling, what has happened?
那个该死的婊子皇后找我的茬 That fucking bitch empress has happened.
太鲁莽了 亲爱的 Rash, my dear.
很精彩 但太鲁莽了 Exceptional, but rash.
我从来没有像现在这样喜欢过夫人茶会 Well, I have never enjoyed a ladies' tea party more.
谢谢您 Thank you.
我们不能说话 We can't talk.
可以的 We can.
没事的 It is fine.
上帝啊 我还以为你会甩掉他呢 Oh, Jesus Christ, I thought you were getting rid of him!
我们不能相信他 We cannot trust him.
我试过了 彼得会杀了他 I tried. Peter will kill him.
如果他是间谍 彼得会杀了我们 And if he is a spy, Peter will kill us.
你想让我任他去死吗 You would have me let him die?
我们的目的可是结束俄罗斯毫无意义的流血冲突 We are trying to end meaningless bloodshed in Russia.
如果不是他死就是我们死 是的 If it is him or us, yes.
要是我们真想成事 I mean, that is the sort of decision-making
在这种事上你就必须得 you are going to have to make
下定决心 马基亚维利说的 if we are to do this. Machiavelli.
我告诉过你 我不同意这个翻译 I told you, I disagree with that translation.
我觉得他不是间谍 他太漂亮了 I don't think he's a spy. He's too good-looking.
请恕我直言 Well, you'll forgive me,
我真是欣赏不了 you and your family's political instincts
你和你家人的政治直觉 are not something I am in awe of.
去你妈的 你这个胆小鬼 Fuck you, you virgin coward prick!
够了 玛丽埃尔 Enough! Marial.
我... 斯芬斯卡上校本可以是盟友的 I-- Colonel Svenska could have been an ally,
但现在我们失去了他以及一半的夫人 but now we have lost him and half the ladies.
-这是值得的 -我同意 - It was worth it. - I agree.
我告诉你 深思熟虑 You know, some attention
三思而后行 多想出两步 to thinking two steps ahead, rather than one,
-对我们才有利 -我三思了啊 - would be advantageous. - I did.
我确定了活动的礼服面料 I ascertained a dress fabric for the event,
整个房间都重新装修过了 奥罗 这是两步 and had the entire room redone in that, Orlo. That is two steps.
我真搞不懂你怎么这么鲁莽 I do not understand this recklessness in you.
这叫勇气 奥罗 你慢慢就会有了 It is called courage, Orlo. You will gather it as we go.
奥罗 Orlo!
感觉怎么样 How is it?
当皇后 Being empress?
从来没人问过我这个问题 No one has ever asked me that.
感觉 It is...
很复杂 complex.
-我可以畅所欲言吗 -你说吧 - May I speak freely? - I suppose.
我将称之为 我对皇后的印象 I shall entitle it, "My Impressions of the Empress."
你不喜欢彼得 You do not like Peter.
你不喜欢这里 You do not like it here.
你内心有悲伤 最糟糕的是 You have a sadness in you, and worst of all,
你好像不知道怎么享受乐趣 you do not seem to know how to have fun.
享受不是流于表面的事 Fun is not on the table.
他又提到了去乡下 He mentioned the country again.
彼得也可能会来 Peter may come for some of it.
一直都来吗 Does that mean all of it?
你看到皇后对安东尼娅做的事了吗 Did you see what the empress did to Antonia?
这个水平的贱人 It is a level of bitch
也是罕见得很 有点厉害 one seldom encounters, kind of brilliant.
-我觉得很有趣 -我可不觉得 - I thought it was funny. - Well, I do not.
还有 下个月之前你跟你的那活 And feel free to suck your own cock
就尽情享受"自娱自乐"的乐趣吧 阿卡迪 for the rest of the month, Arkady.
她需要受受教训 She needs to be taught a lesson.
也许安东尼娅需要吸取教训 她又不是皇后 Perhaps Antonia needs to learn a lesson. She is not empress.
我们给过她融入的机会了 We had open hearts.
现在可没可能了 她会受到教训的 They are shut tight. She will learn that.
假装 假装 假装 Pretend, pretend, pretend.
你不需要那样对利奥 You did not need to do that to Leo.
大概吧 他咳血了吗 I suppose not. Is he coughing up blood?
-不 -那他就没事了 - No. - Then he's fine.
通常咳血是问题的征兆 Coughing blood is generally the problem sign.
你没事吧 Are you all right?
在为演讲而紧张吗 Nervous about making the speech?
没 是的 No. Yes.
该死 Fuck.
他真的是这样吗 Is he all these things?
或许不是 所以你才紧张 Or perhaps not, and that is why you are nervous.
他确实是这样 他... He was all these things. He was...
很伟大 extraordinary.
那问题在哪里呢 What is the problem then?
我一旦说起他 我很少说起他 When I speak of him, which I do not,
因为一旦说了就会流泪 because when I do, tears.
在这帮家伙面前显得没有男子气概 很糟糕 It is unmanly and fucked in front of these booyas.
你想念他了 You miss him.
陛下 Emperor?
这没什么羞耻的 There is no shame in that.
-不 这看上去不... -有一种说法 - No, it will not look-- - There is a saying.
"真情才能打动人心" "What comes from the heart, goes to the heart."
他受人爱戴 你表现出这一点是好事 He was loved, and you showing that is a fine thing.
-我可能也不会哭 -是的 - I may not cry. - Indeed.
因为我是有着钢铁意志和控制力的人 For I am chap with iron will and control.
他雷厉风行 心系人民 He was a man of action, a man of the people,
受人爱戴和敬仰 loved, revered,
战无不胜 victorious in battle.
他曾经坐下来用卢布帮我做了一头狮子 He once sat and helped me make a lion from rubles.
-但他也很凶... -小屁孩 - But fierce, he... - Fucking baby.
我听见了 I heard that.
不管是谁 站出来 Whoever it was, step forward.
男人对男人 我们决斗 Man-to-man, let us fight.
没有指责 没有报复 No recriminations, no reprisals.
以我父亲的荣誉 两个男人 On my father's honor, two men
拳头对拳头 换作他也会这样 and their fists, as he would have it.
我很荣幸 It would be an honor.
策略 策略 你们这些蠢材 Strategy. Strategy, you dumb fucks!
你们盲目的勇气无法为我们取得胜利 Your mindless, booya bravery will not win it for us.
我是彼得大帝的儿子 我知道怎么获得胜利 I am Peter the Great's son. I know how to win.
我们依照我的军事计划 渡过河流 We will go with my military plan. Ford the river,
在早餐时挖出他们的心脏 如何 cut their hearts out at breakfast. Yes?
如何 Yes?
好啊 Huzzah.
我说到哪儿了 Now where was I?
我的父亲 我树立雕像以缅怀他的荣耀 好啊 My father. I commemorate this statue in his honor. Huzzah.
让我们创造伟大的俄罗斯 Let's make Russia great and
战胜瑞典那些金发的恶棍 victorious over those evil blond Swedish fucks.
好啊 Huzzah!
我想还有个派对 好好享受吧 I believe there is a party. Let's enjoy.
你捅那个人的时候真是太棒了 How marvelous it was when you stabbed holes in that man.
你说我应该遵循内心是对的 You were right for me to be true to my heart.
现在所有人都对我又爱又怕了 There is now love and fear for me from all.
我今天可能对利奥太粗暴了 I was perhaps rough on Leo today.
你说的是你一次次地踢他吗 When you kicked him over and over?
对 我说的就是这个 Yes. That is to what I refer.
这只能说明你有多在意我的幸福 Well, it just shows how much you care about my happiness.
确实 如果你不想要他 你可以自己挑个情人 Indeed. If you do not want him, you may choose your own lover.
-维勒门托夫毛遂自荐了 -一点都不好笑 - Velementov has offered his services. - Very not funny.
-想象一下 -我才不 - Imagine it. - I'd rather not.
说真的 想象一下 Seriously, take a moment.
我想象你趴在桌上 他插入你的体内 I imagined him putting it in your ass as you leant on a desk,
然后他的体重压垮了桌子 把你压在他身下 then his weight collapsing the desk and crushing you under him.
你是怎么想象的 What was yours?
他尝试上我的时候尿在我身上了 Him pissing on me as he tried to mount me.
想象力真丰富 但我的更好 Brilliantly imaginative, though mine was better.
如果你不想要利奥 你就自己挑一个 If you do not want Leo, choose someone else yourself,
我会同意或者反对 and I will approve or disapprove.
-那利奥呢 -他可以回他的庄园去 - And Leo? - Oh. He may go back to his estate.
所以他可以离开吗 Oh. So he is free to leave?
-对 当然了 -好 - Yes, of course. - Right.
他可以滚 也可以留在宫里 我无所谓 He can fuck off or stay at court. I do not care,
只要你开心 而不是痛苦地皱着眉头的婊子 as long as you are happy and not a miserable, scowling cunt.
你不是那样的 Which you are not.
我只是在形象地描述我不想要的东西 That is just a colorful example of what I do not want.
-当然 -我会告诉他的 - Of course. - I shall tell him.
不 我来吧 No. Let me.
对于我为你的幸福付出的努力 And you are happy and grateful
你是不是既开心又感激 for my efforts towards your happiness?
彼得的宫廷里充满愉悦 All is bliss in the court of Peter.
-确实如此 好啊 -好啊 - It is indeed. Huzzah! - Huzzah!
我要去演奏 我是个杰出的小提琴手 I must play. I'm a brilliant violinist.
给我 一边去 Give me that. Fuck off.
太棒了 Bravo!
彼得没有放你走 Peter has not released you.
-我知道你肯定努力过了 -确实 - I'm sure you tried. - I did.
所以我们必须把戏演下去 So we must continue the charade.
很奇怪 我并不失望 Strangely not disappointed.
显然 在这个安排之内 我们可以随心所欲 Obviously, we are free to do as we wish with this arrangement.
例如 For example,
你有回吻我的自由 you are free to kiss me back,
也有不这样做的自由 but also free not to.
要回吻你 你得先... To kiss you back, you would have to--
我们需要帮助 We need help.
剩下的或许可以交给你了 You can probably take it from here?
谢谢 玛丽埃尔 Thank you, Marial.
你 你这是... What are-- What are you--
这个写得很好 It's very good.
可以不用生活在伪装之下这句 Uh, the, the bit about being able to live without pretense
能够引起强烈的共鸣 will resonate deep.
利奥会留下来 他是我的情人 Leo stays. He is my lover.
但他永远不会知道我们的计划 He will never know of our plans though.
我向你保证 I promise you that.
你要干什么 What-- What are you doing?
我的血誓 My blood oath.
你喜欢危险的生活 I mean, you... you like to live dangerously.
我只是想要生活 I just like to live.
而且我想让所有人都有这样的机会 And I would like everyone to have that opportunity.
危险是其中的一部分 Danger is part of this.
你必须明白这一点 You will have to grasp that.
我这一生都在努力地避开它 I have avoided it assiduously my whole life.
我们做不到 We cannot.
你以为你拿下了斯芬斯卡上校的时候 Did your heart not beat like a drum
你的心跳得是不是像在打鼓 when you thought you had landed Colonel Svenska?
现在你得割破你的手了 Now, you need to cut your hand.
-我真的不想这样做 -我知道 - I really don't want to do that. - I know.
今天早上不需要穿衣服了 There will be no need for clothes this morning.
-玛丽埃尔 -扣子吗 - Marial? - Buttons?
扣子 Buttons.