爱情生活 第一季 第三集
在人类历史上 Throughout human history,
没有爱的性生活被过分拘谨地视作 sex without love has been prudishly regarded
一种可耻的行为 as a shameful act,
然而 每天都在发生 and yet, still it happens every single day.
说明书写道用热牛奶洗 The instructions say washing it in a warm bath of milk
是预防疾病的最好方式 is the best manner in which to prevent disease.
不重要 That's no matter.
我经常用 I use it frequently.
我回家后会洗的 I will rinse it when I return home.
随着预防技术的发展 With advancements in prophylactic technology,
终于 有了一种舒适的屏障 finally, there was a comfortable barrier
可以防止女性怀孕和感染 that protected from pregnancy and infection.
我会给你写信 I'll write you.
所以仅剩的折磨 And so all that was left to suffer from
就是单相思的痛苦了 was the pain of unrequited love.
三 双机丹尼
2015年 跟布拉德利分手一年后
最近 达比通过 Lately, Darby had been avoiding
躲在家里逛P站 the land mines of love entirely
彻底逃避爱情的地雷 by hiding out and exploring Pornhub.
天 Oh, God.
有人要吃早餐吗 我要... Does anybody want breakfast? I'm gonna--
吉姆 吉姆 Jim...Jim!
达比 Darby?
天呐 嗨 Holy shit. Hi!
我的天 Oh, my God.
-你 -你怎么样 - What-- - How are you doing?
你在我家附近干什么 What are you doing in my neighborhood?
我是来买咖啡的 Well, I'm just getting some coffee here.
酷 你回纽约了吗 Cool. Are you...back in New York?
政客送你回来了 Did Politico send you back?
不不 我辞职了 Oh, no, no. I actually--I quit.
这样 那太好了 Okay. That's amazing.
-嗨 我是艾米丽 -很抱歉 - Hi, I'm Emily. - So sorry.
-嗨 -达比 这是艾米丽 - Hi. - Um, Darby, this is Emily.
-艾米丽 达比 -你好 幸会 - Emily, Darby. - Hi. So nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你 It's so good to meet you.
那你不搞政治了 Um, so what are you doing now that you don't--
现在在做什么 that you're not in politics?
你要开始打高尔夫吗 Are you gonna take up golf or something?
实际上 艾米丽写短篇故事 Uh, well, actually, Emily writes short stories,
我们想着弄一辆野营车 and we thought it'd be cool to trick out a camper van
穿越美国 从东海岸到西海岸 会很酷 and drive around America, you know, coast to coast.
我在加勒廷学院的论文是《比喻之路》 My--my thesis at Gallatin was "The Road as a Trope,"
所以我想再多写一点这方面的 so I just think I want to do a little more writing on that,
-看我能不能... -酷 酷 - see if I can... - Cool, cool.
-她是个很棒的作家 -谢谢 - She is an amazing writer. - Thank you.
你现在在做什么呢 Oh, what are-- what are you up to?
你还在那里... Are you still working at, um...
不 我现在在惠特尼博物馆 Uh, no, I'm at the Whitney now.
不错 你在那做什么 Nice. What are you doing there?
我什么没做 What am I not doing?
我很喜欢惠特尼博物馆 I really--I love the Whitney.
-见到你很开心 -再见 我也是 - It was so good to see you. - All right. See you. You too.
-是啊 很高兴见到你 -祝你一切顺利 - Uh, totally. Great to see you. - And good luck with everything.
-谢谢 你也是 -很高兴认识你 - Thank you. You too. - Hey, it was so good to meet you.
我也是 So good to meet you too.
-玩得开心 -你也是 - Just have the most fun, okay? - Yeah, you too.
好了 再见 All right. See you.
-我住这边 -对 - I live this way. - Oh, yep.
亲爱的 你能穿衣吗 Babe, please, can you get dressed?
我一定要去割礼吗 Do I have to come to the bris?
我妈让我们早点去 My mom asked us to get there early
这样就能帮忙布置派对 so we could help her with the party.
跟她说我病了 拜托 Just tell her I'm sick. Please.
拜托 没那么糟啦 Oh, come on. It won't be all bad.
那个割礼执行人 还挺有名的 You know, the mohel, he's kind of famous.
做过杰克·吉伦哈尔 He did Jake Gyllenhaal.
我们每周末都会去你家 We go uptown to your family's every weekend.
12小时前才去过了安息日 We were literally there 12 hours ago for Shabbat.
你必须来 You have to come.
我妈给你买了杏仁奶 My mother got you almond milk.
各位 Guys...
刚刚发生了一件很糟糕的事 something really bad just happened.
什么 What?
我碰到奥吉了 I ran into Augie.
不是吧 No.
是的 三年来第一次 Yeah. For the first time in three years.
-他看上去如何 -很好 - How did he look? - Great.
他现在在纽约 Yeah, he's, um, in New York now, I guess,
我要是没取关他的话 我就会知道 which I would know if I hadn't unfollowed him,
也就不会穿着洞洞鞋被杀个措手不及了 and then I wouldn't have been blindsided while wearing Crocs.
天 No.
知道吗 从来没人谈论 You know what? No one ever talks about the perils
不网络视奸前任的危险 of not cyber-stalking an ex.
他有一个新女友 And he has a new girlfriend.
什么鬼 吉姆 What the fuck, Jim?
你知道奥吉有新女友吗 Did you know Augie had a new girlfriend?
不 我又不是他的传记作家 No. I'm not his fucking biographer.
他从政客辞职了 Yeah, he, um, he quit Politico,
他和艾米丽 and he and Emily are gonna, like,
要开野营车周游美国 travel America in a camper van.
呕 Ew.
我在想 这说明了什么 Yeah. And I'm just wondering, like, what it says that,
他跟我分手去追求他的事业 um, he broke up with me to pursue his career,
很好 但现在他放弃自己的事业 which is fine, but then he gave up his career
为了这个新的 另一个人 for this new-- for this other person.
亲爱的 你知道你需要什么吗 Okay, baby girl, do you know what you need?
我同事伊丽莎要办烧烤 你得来 My coworker Eliza is having a barbecue, and you have to come.
淋病伊丽莎 Gonorrhea Eliza?
小玛 我叫你别告诉任何人的 Mal, I told you not to tell anyone.
有什么大不了 不就是淋病吗 Whatever. It's just gonorrhea.
总之 她很会办派对 Anyway, she throws an awesome party.
亲爱的 伊丽莎在上班期间还没开够派对吗 Babe, doesn't Eliza, like, party enough at work?
詹姆斯 我们在韦伯斯特大厅工作 James, we work at Webster Hall.
那是个音乐场地 我们的工作就是派对 It's a music venue. It's our job to party.
萨拉 不开玩笑 我们答应了我妈 Sara, seriously, we promised my mom.
那我们就不管艾斯特拉比上周说的让世界更美好了吗 And what about what Rabbi Esther said last week about tikkun olam?
我们得修复世界里的错误 We need to, like, repair the wrongs in the world.
达比需要我来修复她 Darby needs me to tikkun olam her
用很多免费的伏特加 with lots of free vodka.
欢迎你们来 You both are welcome to come.
我宁愿去割礼也不想去吃烧烤 I think I would rather go to a bris than a barbecue.
你不知道你在说什么 Okay, you don't know what you're saying.
-快去穿衣 -好 - Just go get dressed. - Okay.
你觉得 Do you think that
我和奥吉发短信的时候 when Augie and I were texting, like,
他一直都知道那是胡扯吗 he knew it was bullshit the whole time?
只是在用表情包安慰我 Like, was he just, like, placating me with emojis?
你为什么总往最坏的方面想 Why do you always think of the darkest option?
我不知道 我只是觉得 I don't know, I just-- I don't think that
他碰到我并没有惊慌失措 he's, like, this freaked out about running into me.
该吃药了 Time for some medicine.
听着 你现在最需要的是 Look. What you need right now
传统的驱邪 is a good, old-fashioned exorcism,
但是不找老神父 而是年轻性感的帅哥 but instead of the old priest, it's a young, hot guy.
不用十字架 And instead of a cross,
而是鸡巴 it's a dick.
-不用圣水 -不不不 - Instead of holy water-- - No, no, no, no, no.
不管这是什么天主教怪癖 I--whatever this, like, Catholic kink is,
请让吉姆满足你 please work it out with Jim.
-角色扮演什么的 别来找我 -好 - Like, do some roleplay. Please leave me out of it. - Okay.
不管你想用什么比喻 Whatever metaphor you want to use,
老妈是时候穿上她的大姑娘裤子了 it's time for mama to put on her big-girl pants.
我是老妈吗 Am I mama?
-是的 妈妈 -嗯 - Yeah, mama. - Yeah.
这件行吗 What about this?
不 老妈 No. Mama. Wh--
好呀 Okay.
嗯 有男人 All right. There's guys here.
还有很多烂俗女 And a lot of basic girls,
你快去 我美丽的怪胎 so you get in there, my beautiful weirdo.
我不知道电影明星也会来 Whoa, I didn't know there'd be movie stars here.
那男的想要上我们 That dude wants to hit it!
他戴着金链子 That dude's wearing a gold chain.
你来了 嗨 You made it! Hi!
我知道这么说很不好 This is fucked up,
但我真希望吉姆不要跟他家人那么亲近 but I wish Jim wasn't so close to his family.
形影不离 It's, like, constant.
是啊 听上去像是虐待 Yeah. It sounds abusive.
如果你跟我一样去了这么多割礼的话 Look, if you went to as many brises as I do,
你也会有同样感受的 you'd feel the same way.
-我都可以实施割礼了 -天 - I could, like, perform a bris. - Oh, my God.
就现在 给我找个婴儿鸡鸡 我马上就能做 Right now. Find me a baby dick, and I'll do it.
我给你演示怎么割 I'll show you how it's done.
他总是说 And he's always like,
你抱抱这个可爱的婴儿吧 "Why don't you hold this cute little baby?
这么可爱 抱一下 It's so cute. Hold it."
我会说 我不喜欢暗示 And I'm like, "I don't like the implications."
-暗示 -是的 - The implications? - Yeah.
暗示你男友爱你 That your boyfriend loves you
以及在你们的未来里或许会有小孩 and, like, maybe sees a future with you that involves babies?
达比 别让我有负罪感 Darby, do not guilt-trip me right now.
我没有让你有负罪感 他听上去像是禽兽 I'm not guilt-tripping you. He sounds like a monster.
赶紧离他远远的 Get away as fast as you can.
亲爱的你想让我把可颂饼干放哪 Mamaleh, where do you want me to put the rugelach?
-就放在餐具柜上 -好 - Just over there on the sideboard. - Okay.
真可惜萨拉不能来 她可喜欢我的可颂饼干了 It's a shame Sara couldn't come. She loves my rugelach.
我知道 但她得去一个演唱会工作 I know, but she got called into a concert for work.
不过她叫我转达她的爱 But she sends her love.
你快气死你妈妈了 You're killing your mother.
迪迪姑妈已经抱上孙子了 Auntie DeeDee is kicking her butt in the grandkids department.
行了 爸 你知道我们还没准备好 Okay, Dad, but you know we're not really ready yet.
现在就生一个 Just have one now,
我们会照顾到你准备好为止 and we'll take care of it until you're ready.
萨拉呢 Where is Sara?
我做了她喜欢的甘蓝沙拉 放了蔓越莓的那个 I made that kale salad she loves, the one with the cranberries.
她得去一个演唱会工作 她叫我转达她的爱 She got called in to a concert at work. She sends her love.
萨拉没来 Sara's not here?
这是你表弟的割礼 It's your cousin's bris.
各位 Folks!
萨拉 我女友 Sara, my girlfriend,
她传达了她的爱 she sends her love.
达比没跟人社交 Darby avoided mingling
而是在Instagram上视奸奥吉的新女友 by stalking Augie's new girlfriend on Instagram,
虽然多年后 她会明白 and while years later, she would come to understand
人们在社交媒体上 the often large gap between the way
展现出的样子 people present themselves on social media
往往和他们现实生活里大相径庭 and what their lives are really like,
这一系列自拍还是让达比 this stream of selfies simply made Darby,
口语点说 感觉像吃了屎一样 to put it colloquially, feel like shit.
什么 What's that?
什么 这是派对 Oh, what--what, it's a party,
人们该放下手机 好好享受 and people should put their phones away and have a good time?
谢谢 能把手机还我吗 Thanks. Can you give me my phone back?
抱歉 我以为那样会很逗 Sorry. I thought it would be cute.
好吧 Okay.
别拿他人的东西 Just don't take other people's shit.
该死 我说了抱歉了 Damn. All right. I said I'm sorry.
转瓶子 Spin the Bottle.
-过来 -嗯 - Come here. - Yeah.
这绝对是你现在该做的事 This is definitely what you should be doing right now.
他好帅 Mm, yeah. He's cute.
我的天 他性感死了 Oh, my God. He's so hot.
双手合十 祝你好运 Fingers crossed. Good luck to you.
好的 Okay.
玩得开心 Have fun.
好啊 爱的联系 All right. Love connection.
好了 All right.
给你的 朋友 That's for you, friend.
-好有意思 -我的嘴唇好疼 你能看看吗 - This is fun. - Uh, my lips hurt. Can you look?
-不过痛并快乐着 -是啊 - In a really nice way. - Yeah.
你看起来很享受 It seemed like you were enjoying yourself.
是啊 Okay.
你还好吧 Are you okay?
-你不必非这么做 -我要走了 - You don't have to do this-- - No, I think I gotta go.
-我不想让吉姆难过 -萨拉 - I don't want Jim to feel bad. - Oh, Sara.
萨拉 别留我一个人在这 Sara, don't leave me here.
这样吧 你勇敢向前 You know what? You go forth,
来享受这场猛男盛宴 and you get on that dick wagon.
这是你的命运 It is your destiny.
我很不满你所说的"猛男盛宴" Very upset by the phrase "dick wagon."
-勇敢向前走 -别说了 - Just giddyup... - Don't.
然后享受这场猛男盛宴 And you just get on that little dick wagon.
我不喜欢你这声音和这个点子 I don't like the voice. I don't like this at all.
别说了 住嘴 停下 Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
好了 留下来 Okay. Just stay.
玩得开心 为我享受精彩生活 Have fun. Live for me.
很高兴认识你们 再见 Nice to meet you guys. See you later.
-你干什么呢 -不好意思 你能别看吗 - What the fuck? - Oh, fuck. Sorry. Can you not look?
抱歉打扰你的公开小便 Sorry for intruding on your public urination,
这可是犯罪 which is a crime, by the way.
好吧 好吧 Yeah, all right. All right.
靠 这是指甲吗 Oh, fuck! Is that a nail?
-是什么样的 -你没事吧 - What kind of fucking-- - You okay?
没事 就是被划伤了 Yep. Just cut myself.
操 真的流血了 Oh, fuck, it's really bleeding.
我看看 Let me see.
我没事 It's fine, it's fine.
天呐 Oh, God.
我的公寓就在楼下 Listen. My, uh--my apartment's right downstairs.
我有些过氧化物 你可以清理下伤口 I got some peroxide, you wanna clean that up.
不用了 我没事 No, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
我找条毛巾 Just, like, I'll find a towel
或是纸巾什么的就行 or a napkin or something.
你要找条毛巾或是纸巾 You're gonna find a towel or a napkin?
我不知道了 I don't-- I don't know!
好吧 可以 Okay, yes. Okay.
我能清理下伤口吗 Can I get cleaned up?
谢谢 真的很贴心 Thank you. That's a very sweet offer.
-我叫丹尼 -嗨 我叫达比 - I'm Danny. - Hi, I'm Darby.
我是个划伤腿的傻瓜 I'm the idiot who cut her leg.
这是我家 This is me.
你最好不是想杀了我 好吗 我可是有武器的 You better not try to murder me. Okay? I'm armed.
你是想弄瞎自己吗 天呐 Trying to blind yourself? Jesus.
宝宝在睡觉 Baby's sleeping.
抱歉 Sorry. I'm sorry.
宝贝 你来了 Babe, you made it.
好棒的惊喜 What a wonderful surprise.
吉姆说你得加班 Jim said you had to work late.
是啊 Oh, yeah.
你知道娱乐业的 Well, you know, the entertainment industry.
就是在拯救生命 Just out there saving lives.
-谢谢你能来 -当然啦 - Thanks for coming. - Yeah, of course.
萨拉 你想喝什么 Sara, can I get you something to drink?
我有你的杏仁奶 I have your almond milk.
我不喝了 谢谢 Oh, you know what? I'm good. Thank you.
我每天都跟吉姆说 萨拉 I tell Jim every day, Sara,
你是他做过的唯一正确的事 you're the only thing he did right.
我也是这么跟他说的 黛安 I tell him that, too, Diane.
天呐 Oh, my God.
割礼怎么样 How was the bris?
除了托德每个人都玩得很开心 Everyone except Todd seemed to have a good time.
-太好了 -你想抱抱托德吗 - Great. - Do you wanna hold Todd?
不了 我不想 No, no, no, I don't want to--
我得去趟卫生间 I have to use the bathroom anyway.
他喜欢被人摇晃 He loves being rocked.
我先去拿点吃的 Well, I was actually just gonna get a plate first.
-你确定 -是的 - Are you sure? - Yeah.
-我一会过来 -你应该抱抱宝宝 - I'll come back after. - You should hold the baby.
别说了 Stop it.
-对不起 -我操 - Sorry. - Fuck. Fuck!
好吧 All right.
我觉得不会留伤痕 Um, I don't think that it's gonna scar,
不过还是可以敷上一周的芦荟 but maybe put, like, aloe vera on it for a week.
好的 Okay.
-谢谢 -好了 - Thank you. - There you go.
还是很疼 我的天 Still fucking hurts, though. Jesus.
我有布洛芬 I got ibuprofen.
不过你不应该空腹吃 Uh, you shouldn't take it on an empty stomach, though.
你今晚吃东西了吗 You had food tonight?
我喝的血腥玛丽里有芹菜 Um, I had a Bloody Mary that had celery in it.
美味 Yum.
我给你做点吃的怎么样 Uh, how about I make you a little plate?
我有上乘的橄榄 我有马苏里拉 I got nice olives, I got mozzarella.
-可以 听起来不错 -可以吗 - Yeah, okay. That sounds good. - Yeah?
很好 Great.
这个诡异的空房间是什么情况 So what's the deal with this creepy empty room?
我以前和我女朋友住在一起 I used to live here with my girlfriend,
她和我分手的时候 and when she broke up with me,
搬走了所有家具 所以 she took all the furniture, so...
够惨的 Damn, that sucks.
你有两部手机 Oh, you got two phones.
所以你是个毒贩 So you're a drug dealer.
你这个推断很伤人啊 That's actually a very hurtful stereotype.
抱歉 没有想伤害你的感情 Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
好了 All right.
给你 Here we go.
这个摆盘很精致啊 Whoa. This is very artfully arranged.
-嗯 -真的很棒 - Yeah. - This is amazing.
我以前在熟食店工作 I used to work at a deli.
好吃吗 Good? Good?
来吧 坐啊 你想坐哪里 All right, come on. Sit. What do you want?
床 草坪椅 你选吧 The bed? The lawn chair? You got options.
我想坐草坪椅更容易消化 I guess the lawn chair's better for digestion.
好的 就坐草坪椅吧 All right. Lawn chair it is.
-免费晚餐还能看表演 -抱歉 - Wow. Dinner and a show. - Sorry.
我对引体向上有狂热的强迫症 I get crazy OCD with the chin-ups.
你每天大概做多少个 How many do you do, like, every day?
大概一百个吧 Uh, like, 100.
-事实上一百个整 -什么 - Actually, like, exactly 100. - What?
我有很多神经能量 I got a lot of nervous energy.
-一百个吗 -也没有听上去那么多 - 100? - That's not that many.
真的很多 以前做总统体测的时候 No, when we used to do those presidential fitness tests,
我连一个都做不起来 I couldn't even do one.
我就会撑住在杆上 然后挂着 I would just, like, get up there, and I would just hang.
你可以做一个引体向上 You could do a chin-up.
-我绝对做不到 -来试试 - I absolutely cannot. - Come on.
个子娇小的人都很擅长做引体向上 No, petite people are very good at chin-ups.
那真是很伤人的刻板印象 That's a very hurtful stereotype.
过来这儿 先把那个放下吧 Come here and put that down for a second.
我做不到的 I can't.
-跳上去 -"跳上去" - All right. Hop up. - "Hop up"?
-是吗 -好吧 - Really? - Okay, fine.
-我能扶你吗 -听起来有点冒犯 - May I? - That's offensive.
-你准备好了吗 -好了 - You good? - Yes, please.
你上去了 There you go.
一个 One.
再做一个 再做一个 You got one more. You got one more.
-我做不到 -好了 - I can't! - All right.
不行 你得做个双数的引体向上 No, you just-- you have to do an even number
不然的话整个世界都要崩塌了 or else the world will blow up.
-世界是这样运行的吗 -你做到了 - Is that how that works? - There you go.
你头发很香 Wow, your hair smells really nice.
谢谢 Oh. Thank you.
我 我有这个 Yes, i--i-- I have this, um,
我涂了发膜 hair mask thing that I use.
我不能看到可颂饼干 I can't even look at rugelach
要不然我会胖10磅的 without gaining ten pounds.
拜托 露丝 Come on, Ruth.
你看上去都要快被风吹走了 You look like you're about to blow away.
难道我要强制喂给你吃熏鲑鱼吗 Am I gonna have to force feed you some of this lox right here?
你真的很懂如何让一个老太太开心 Oh, you really know how to make an old broad's day.
你最近怎么样 How you been?
一般般吧 Oh, I'm hanging in there.
-我翻修了浴室 -不错 - I redid the bathrooms. - Okay.
尽管我也不知道为什么 Although I don't know why.
反正房子也只会伴随我很短的时间 They're gonna stick me in a home soon enough.
住嘴 才不是这样的 Stop it. That is not true.
自从理查德去世后 我的生活每况愈下 I've been going downhill since Richard passed.
这个家有了他才生机勃勃 He was the real life in the house.
你知道吗 结婚两年后 Do you know I never cooked a meal
我就再也没有做过饭了 since two years into our marriage?
他厌倦了我糟糕的厨艺 He got so tired of my terrible cooking.
有一天 他说 He--he said one day,
"你靠边吧 做饭现在是我的活了" "Step aside. This is my job now."
我记得 你跟我说过 I remember. You told me that.
而且他从没让我对此感到愧疚 And he never made me feel guilty about it.
是的 他是真正的赢家 Yeah, he was a real winner.
就这样持续了55年的婚姻 55 years of marriage.
希望有一天我和吉姆也有那样的婚姻 Well, I hope to have that with Jim one day.
萨拉 Sara...
如果你不爱他就放手吧 Let him go if you don't want him.
人生苦短 Life's too short.
我爱吉姆 I love Jim.
你是做什么工作的 So what do you do?
我在惠特尼博物馆工作 Um, I work at the Whitney Museum.
很高大上 Fancy.
-是的吧 -我的天 - Yeah, I guess. - My God.
-我是馆长 -真的吗 - I'm a--a curator. - Really?
我的天 太酷了 God, that's crazy.
我从来没去过那里 You know, I've never been there before.
当然我也从没去过埃利斯岛 Never been to Ellis Island, either, I guess, but...
其实我是资历很浅的馆长 Well, I'm a junior curator.
你是我认识的唯一一个 Hey, you're the only person I know
有着高大上工作的人 非常厉害 with, like, a fancy job like that. It's awesome.
我觉得也没有那么厉害 Yeah. I mean, it's not a big deal.
那你是做什么的 Um, what do you do?
一直以来 我跟我表兄弟在创业 Uh, long-term, me and my cousin are in the process
尝试开一家贝果面包店 of trying to start, like, a bagel shop, so...
很酷 Cool.
我喜欢贝果面包 I love bagels.
你很漂亮 You know, you're very beautiful.
如果我刚刚的表现有点生疏 我很抱歉 And look, sorry if I was a little rusty.
跟小布分手后还没有做过 It's been a while since Bri.
你们分手有多长时间了 Well, how long has it been since you guys broke up?
三年了 Three years.
-好吧 确实很久了 -我知道 我是个怪胎 - Okay. That's a long time. - I know, I'm a freak.
顺便说一下 这就是第二部手机的来历 That's the deal with the second phone, by the way.
她不爱我之前的所有语音留言 It's got all her voicemails on it
都在这部手机里面 from before she fell out of love with me,
我也不知道怎么转移这些信息 and I don't know how to transfer the messages,
所以现在我得支付两部手机的话费 so now I'm just paying for two phones
像个傻子一样 like a fucking tool.
真是个悲伤的故事 双机丹尼 That's a sad story, Danny Two Phones.
双机丹尼 Danny Two Phones.
我喜欢这个称号 That's--I like that. Yeah.
你应该丢掉那部手机 You should get rid of that phone, you know?
好像它让你停滞不前 Like, it's holding you back.
丢掉就像是重新开始 你会感觉更好的 Like, start over. You'll feel better.
我想你是对的 I guess you're right.
我现在是在搞什么 What the fuck am I doing with my life?
我应该删掉这些东西的 I should. I should delete this shit.
我应该 我应该向前看 I should just-- I should move on.
"宝贝 我现在还在工作" "Yo, baby, I'm still stuck at work right now..."
-我的天 -别听 - Oh, man. - No!
别别别 别听留言了 No, no, no, no, no. Don't do this.
-认真听我说 拜托 -我的天 - Stay with me. Come on. - Oh, man.
听着 她不会回到你身边了 对吧 Hey, listen. She's not coming back, right?
你知道吗 You know what?
去她的布丽安娜 Fuck Brianna.
没错 去她的布丽安娜 Yeah, fuck Brianna.
-去她的布丽安娜 -从没喜欢过她 - Fuck Brianna. - Never liked her.
我要把这个破手机扔出窗外 I'm throwing this shit out the window.
我的妈呀 Holy shit.
我的天 你真的要这么做吗 Oh, my God, are you actually gonna do it?
天啊 我真要这么做吗 Oh, my God, am I actually doing this?
-我相信你做得到 -好 - Dude, I believe in you! - Okay.
我就要这么做 好的 Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna do it, right? All right.
我操 Holy shit!
空心球 Nothing but net.
我现在是单机丹尼了 亲 I'm Danny-fucking-One-Phone now, baby!
你是 我的天啊 Yeah, you are! Oh, my God!
你现在感觉如何 How do you feel?
-老天 我感觉好极了 -是啊 - God, I feel fucking great. - Yeah.
我感觉心头的重担卸下了 I feel like a weight's been lifted.
太好了 Yeah. Good.
你相信命运吗 Hey, do you believe in fate?
因为我觉得我遇见你是有原因的 Because I feel like I met you for a reason.
即使在那场美女如云的派对上 我眼中也只有你 I mean, even at that party, you stood out to me,
我今天还坐了D线 and I took the D train today.
我从不坐D线的 从来没有 I never take the D train. Never.
D线跟我有什么关系 What does the D train have to do with--
"D"代表"达比" D for Darby.
也可以代表"丹尼"啊 Oh. Or D for Danny.
-不 不是的 -或是"斑点狗" - No. No, no, no. - Or Dalmatians or--
我遇见你是有原因的 I met you for a reason,
老天 这太疯狂了 and it's-- oh, my-- it's fucking crazy
人的生活可以在一夜之间改变 how your whole life can change in a night.
我来抱他 Hey. I'll hold him.
-真的吗 -嗯 - Really? - Yeah.
-坐那里吧 -好 - Sit--sit over there. - Okay.
-你想要我坐着吗 -是的 - You want me to sit? - Yeah.
-他喜欢直起身子 -好 - He likes to be upright. - Okay.
好的 Yeah. All right.
他喜欢你 Oh, he loves you.
天啊 宝贝 你这样太性感了 Oh, my God, babe, you look so hot.
我得拍照发上Instagram 等等 I got-- I gotta Instagram this. Hold on.
太可爱了 So cute.
你闻到了吗 Do you smell that?
没有 No.
-真的拉了 -是的 他好像... - For real? - Yeah. I think he--
他好像便便了 I think he pooped.
现在很晚了 It's getting so late.
-我知道 我也不想... -不 不 - I know, I hate to-- - No, no.
-我明白 -嗯 - I--I understand. - Yeah.
而且我早上还要去上班 And I, you know-- I have work in the morning.
好的 Right, right.
对了 你知道安德鲁·戴斯·克雷吗 Hey, do you know-- do you know Andrew Dice Clay?
-不知道 他是谁 -天啊 - No. Who's that? - Oh, my God.
他是一名优秀的喜剧演员 He's this amazing comedian.
他这个周六有场演出 He's got a show on Saturday,
我们可以一起吃晚饭 在看演出前 and uh, you know, we could do dinner, um, beforehand,
我可以开我表哥的车 and I got my cousin's car,
因为他这个月都不在城里 'cause he's out of town for the whole month,
所以你不用自己去坐地铁 so you wouldn't even have to take the train.
我可以去接你 答应我嘛 I could swoop you. Say yes.
-周六不行 -真不巧 - Um, ooh, Saturday's not good. - Oh, man.
那周五呢 周五可以吗 Well, Friday-- what about Friday?
周五是大都会棒球队的渔夫帽之夜 Friday's bucket hat night at the Mets game. That'd be amazing.
你知道什么事很疯狂吗 You know what's so fucking crazy?
这件事真他妈疯狂 This is so fucking crazy,
很抱歉我之前没告诉你 and I'm sorry I didn't say anything before.
其实我周一要搬去克利夫兰 I'm actually moving to Cleveland on Monday.
克利夫兰 Cleveland?
你居然要放弃惠特尼美术馆 去克利夫兰 You're trading the Whitney for Cleveland?
是的 他们提供优渥的条件 Um, yeah, they-- they offered me this big job
邀我去克利夫兰艺术博物馆工作 at the, um, Cleveland Museum of Art,
这场派对算是我在这个城市的最后一场狂欢 and um, this party was kind of like my last hurrah in the city,
我应该早点告诉你的 and I--I should've said something before,
但我不想破坏之前的...气氛 but I didn't want to ruin the kind of...vibe.
真该死 Damn.
是 我知道 Yeah, I know.
我好不容易遇到一个美好的人 I finally met someone good.
-对不起 -不 不 - I'm sorry. - No, no. I mean...
不必道歉 不用 Don't be sorry. No.
我很庆幸我遇见了你 I'm really glad I met you.
我也是 我也一样 Yeah, me too. Me too.
不过我真的该回家了 Um, I should really get going, though.
至少让我送你回家吧 Hey, let me--let me at least give you a ride home.
-我表哥的车是宝马的 -不了 - My cousin's car's a BMW. - Oh, no.
我就住在地铁口 I'm, like, right by the subway, so...
再见 丹尼 Bye, Danny.
再见 我的拇指姑娘 Good-bye... my little Thumbelina.
再见 Bye.
早上好 Hey. Good morning.
你昨晚很晚才睡 Oh. You were up late.
是的 在你那个转瓶子男之后 Yeah, um, things got interesting
发生了有意思的事 after your Spin the Bottle dude.
姑娘们 Hey, gals.
-想和我一起去跑步吗 -不要 - Care to join me on a run? - No.
好吧 那我边跑边听罪案播客 All right, fine, then I am listening to Serial.
昨晚发生了什么 So how was it?
我... Um...I...
和那个金链男上床了 fucked the gold chain guy.
绝对没有下次了 Yeah, definitely a one-time thing.
-怎么样啊 炮王达比 -仅此一次 - What up, Casual Darby? - Yeah. One-time thing.
我...我不知道 I, like--I don't know.
我有机会扮演另一个人 I got to be this whole other person,
我告诉他我是个馆长 and I told him that I was a curator,
我夸大了我整个人生 and I, like, inflated my whole life
因为有个人看着我 觉得我很厉害 'cause it felt really good to have somebody look at me
这种感觉太好了 他就是一脸 and think that I was, like, so impressive and just, like,
"天啊 你好优秀" "Oh, my God. Wow."
说谎是强大的自助手段 Yeah, well, lying is a really powerful self-help tool.
是的 Yeah.
我还告诉他 我要搬去克利夫兰 I also told him I was moving to Cleveland.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
我那是正当防卫 It was in self-defense.
我担心他会迷上我 I was worried he was gonna get obsessed with me.
-可怜的家伙 -是啊 - Poor guy. - Yeah.
他会没事的 I mean, poor-- he'll be fine.
他都操到我了 他会没事的 He got to fuck me. Like, he'll live.
-这倒是 -嗯 - True. - Yeah.
与丹尼的邂逅 The encounter with Danny
改善了达比受伤的自尊 had boosted Darby's wounded ego
给了她正迫切需要的动力前进 and given her a much-needed bounce in her step.
她继续过自己的生活 She went on with her life,
不去想丹尼 giving Danny very little thought,
正如男人们也经常忘记她一样 as men had so often done to her.
该死 Shit.
达比 Darby?
-丹尼 -天啊 - Danny! - Oh, my God.
这太巧了 This--wow.
你怎么没去克利夫兰 改变主意了吗 Uh, what happened to Cleveland? Did you change your mind?
不 我是要去 No. Um, no. I'm going.
我租的那个公寓 Uh, the apartment I was renting--
说出来你都不信 like, it's been so crazy.
那个房东 Um, the landlord, you know.
-你懂的 -是啊 - Like, you know. - Yeah.
对吧 Right?
所以你是耳机的负责人[馆长]吗 So are you, like, the curator of headphones, or...
对 对 Yeah. Uh, yeah.
在工作呢 Just working. Just...
你在这做什么 What are-- what are you doing here?
我们见完面之后 我想着来这里看看 After we met, I--I-- I just kind of wanted to check this place out.
我知道我跟你不太熟 I mean, I know I don't really know you,
但我还是很骄傲 but um, I still felt proud,
我觉得这可能会让我离你更贴近 and uh, I thought this might make me feel closer to you
即便我知道你不在这里了 even though I knew that you wouldn't be here anymore,
没想到你还在 except here you are.
是啊 Yeah.
太疯狂了 It's wild.
你想下班之后吃点东西吗 Hey, uh, do you want to grab a bite after work?
我今晚有个晚餐安排 但是... Um, I have a dinner thing tonight, um, but--
你猜怎么着 uh, you know what?
我刚想起来 我得回办公桌 I just remembered I have to grab something
那个东西 不过很高兴见到你 from my cubicle, um, but it was so good to see you.
我懂的 我又不是白痴 I get it, you know. I'm not an idiot.
你明白什么了 What do you get?
你在撒谎 You're lying.
我全家人都是骗子 My whole family's liars.
我还是能看出别人当面跟我撒谎的 I can tell when someone's lying to my face.
达比是你的真名吗 I mean, is Darby even your real name?
是的 是的 Yes. I'm--yes.
-达比·卡特 -好吧 就是... - It's Darby Carter. - Okay. It's just...
你是布丽安娜之后我碰过的第一个女生 You're the first person I touched since Brianna, you know.
那意义重大 I'm sor--that's a lot.
那就是个瞬间 I don't-- it was a moment.
你就没为一个瞬间沉沦过吗 Haven't you ever been caught up in a moment?
我不是瞬间 I'm not a moment.
我是个人 I'm a person,
我在你受伤的时候帮了你 and I helped you when you were hurt.
而你做了什么 You, like--what'd you do?
你把我当成性爱机器 You, like, used me like some kind of sex robot.
我以为男人想被当成性爱机器呢 I thought guys wanted to be treated like sex robots.
-行吧 真狠 -好了 - Nice. That's really nice. - Okay.
对不起 这没什么大不了的 Thi--I'm sorry. This isn't a big deal.
我们就一起睡了一次 Like, we slept together one time.
我不欠你什么 I don't owe you anything.
我有权利决定和谁上床 和谁恋爱 I get to decide who I fuck and who I love and whatever.
好吧 你不欠我什么 Fine, you don't owe me anything,
但你还是伤害了我 but you still fucking hurt me.
达比·卡特 Darby Carter,
不管你是谁 whoever you are.
事实上 她很清楚他的感受 In truth, she knew exactly how he felt,
她不想伤害他 and she hated hurting him.
丹尼 Danny.
对不起 I'm sorry.
不过 还是感觉很棒 Still, it was nice to know
知道她也能当那个主动离开的人 that she could be the one who left,
她也能成为别人的过客 that she could be the one who got away.
对 我刚开了个户 I mean, yeah, I just made an account.
只是觉得住在酒店 I just think staying at a hotel
会抵消掉开野营车旅行的意义 kind of defeats the purpose of the whole camper van thing.
-我又没说每晚都住酒店 就住几晚 -好吧 - I'm not talking about every night. Just, like, some nights. - Okay.
每晚都住野营车里 Like, every night in the van?
那会很让人抓狂的 That's gonna be kind of intense.
我们在野营 当然在帐篷里[发音相近] We're camping. Of course it's "in tents."
-听懂没 -嗯 - Get it? - Yeah.
-在帐篷里 -不用解释了 - "In tents"? - No, it's...
-奥吉 -太妙了 - Augie. - So good.
达比 Darby!
伙计们 太巧了 Hey, guys. Hey. Oh, my God.
想不到你们还在城里 I'm surprised you guys are still in town.
我们明天出发 Oh, we leave tomorrow, actually.
我们想在劳工节赶到陶斯 Yeah, we're trying to be in Taos by Labor Day.
太棒了 Amazing.
你怎么样 达比 惠特尼博物馆怎么样 How's everything going with you, Darb? How's the Whitney?
-还是现代艺术博物馆 -是惠特尼 好极了 - Or the MoMA? - No, the Whitney. Um, it's great.
我得走了 I've actually gotta run.
巧的是 我有个面试 Like, ironically, I have a job interview.
-不错 -酷 - Nice. - Cool.
面试什么职位 What are you interviewing for?
一个助理的活儿 Um, it's this assistant gig,
但是在拍卖行 应该很有趣 but it's at an auction house, which could be fun.
-不错 -嗯 - Cool. - Yeah.
-祝好运 -谢谢 - Good luck. - Thanks.
-祝你们好运 -谢谢 - Good luck to you guys. - Thank you.
太激动了 明天就出发了 So exciting. Tomorrow's the big launch?
-是啊 -太棒了 - Yeah, yeah. - Amazing.
-踏上征程 -太激动了 拜 - Out on the road. - So exciting. Bye.
-拜 -回见 - Bye! - See you.
我要一杯拉茶拿铁 I will have a chai tea latte.
宝贝 你要帮我一把吗 快点 Babe. You gonna help me? Come on.