我操 Holy shit.
那他妈什么玩意 What the fuck is that?
那是贾里德·邓恩 Uh, that is Jared Dunn.
盖文·贝尔森的手下 He works for Gavin Belson.
抱歉吓着你了 Sorry if I scared you.
我知道我有时比较神出鬼没 I know I have somewhat ghost-like features.
我叔叔说过 My uncle used to say,
"你就是个让处女饥渴到老的人" "You look like someone starved a virgin to death."
那 没错 说的有道理 It's... Yeah. I can see it.
我听说你正在办开业派对 I heard you were having a launch party.
-没错 -我来早了吗 - Yeah. - Am I early?
没有 No.
这是庆祝你们开业的一点心意 Well then, a gift of congratulations.
如果是盖文派你来的 Now, if Gavin sent you here,
那你该知道我已经拒绝他了 you should know that I've turned him down.
我接受了彼得·格里高利的条件 I'm going with Peter Gregory.
明天就去拿支票 I'm actually picking up my check tomorrow.
我已经做了决定 So I've made my decision.
我不是来做说客的 我只是 That's not why I'm here. It's just...
看着你拒绝了千万巨款 watching you say no to ten million dollars
只为开创自己的事业 to build your own thing,
真的很让人心情澎湃 there's just something very exciting about that.
他来干什么 What is he doing here?
这是私人派对 伙计 Hey, this is a private party, buddy.
请你离开 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
-我不是想 -在加利福尼亚州 - Oh, I didn't mean to... - You know, in the state of California
屋主有权开枪打死擅闯民宅的人 you can kill a man for entering your house without permission.
好的 我明白 谢谢 OK. I understand. Uh, thank you.
理查德 我只是想告诉你 Richard, I just wanna say,
我非常敬佩你的决定 I really respect what you're doing here.
如果你有任何用得着 And if you could ever use someone
我企业发展规划能力的地方 with my business development skill set,
我很乐意加入你们 I would love to be a part of this.
加入个头 The fuck you will be.
等我们想买休闲西裤的时候自会找你 We'll call you when we want pleated khakis.
国产的破酒还好意思拿来送人 You know this is a fucking domestic?
你 你怎么对他那么凶 Why... why were you so mean to him?
他又不是来刺探的 他刚说了喜欢我们 He wasn't spying on us. He just said he likes us.
想加入我们公司 He wants to join the company.
他当然想 理查德 Of course he does, Richard.
让我来给你解释一下 Let me explain something to you.
这辈子你都是个丑爆了的妞 You whole life you've been an ugly chick.
结果突然间你变得超性感 But now suddenly you are a hot chick,
丰乳粉晕羡煞众人 with big tits and small nipples.
男人们会不停地来勾搭你 so guys like that are gonna keep coming around,
大腿一定要夹紧 理查德 don't be a slut, Richard.
我不明白 I don't...
说到这个话题 Now speaking of such things,
迪尼希 换首火辣激情的曲子 Dinesh, change the lighting to something erotic
因为马上就要激情满屋了 because it's about to get pretty fucking erotic in here.
九号格杀令 行动代号"激辣" License to Kill-9. IB Action-dot-Erotica.
这 这是要干什么 Wha... what... what's going on?
-怎么了这是 -绅士们 为你们献上 - What's happening? - Gentlemen, I present to you...
摩卡奇诺 Mochacino.
不是这男的 Not this guy.
摩卡奇诺 Mochacino.
她就是我的大礼 She's my gift to you.
想来点大麻吗 You wanna smoke weed?
就不能放点带节奏的音乐吗 Can somebody play something with a beat, please?
我这就排个播放列表去 I'll go make a playlist.
对 我得去喝点水 该做饭了 Yeah. I actually have some... some water, uh, cooking, I think.
[印地语]
付你钱的人不是我 所以 Yeah, I don't pay for it. So...
你勾引错人了 barking up the wrong tree here.
我恨死帕罗奥图[硅谷所在地]了 God, I hate Palo Alto.
第
一
季
第
二
集
硅
谷
-股权结构表-
又见面了 Hello again.
我没存那么多舞曲 You know, I don't actually have a ton of dance music
但我把重低音调大了 but I turned the bass way up.
宝贝 Baby...
这下你有艳福了 you're getting a private show.
我晕 What the fuck?
好吧 美臀驾到 OK. There's the butt time.
我们应该把他一个人丢在那儿吗 Hey, should we have left him in there by himself?
我们要不要回去 I mean, should we go back in there?
没兴趣 我只勾引人上床 No interest. I entice the flesh,
但绝不为此付钱 I don't pay for it.
再说 塔拉过几周就要来了 Plus, Tara's coming into town in a couple weeks.
我得存点元精供她享用 I'm saving up all my humors for her.
懂我什么意思吧 You know what I mean?
你的理由是什么 What's your excuse?
我直到十七岁才摸过女人的手 I didn't even shake a woman's hand until I was 17-years-old.
在和我一起工作生活的人的注视下勃起 The idea of getting an erection around men I live and work with,
我有点无法接受 it's just not something I can handle.
想象下我撑个帐篷 你撑个帐篷 The idea that I have a boner and you have a boner
他也撑个帐篷 and he has a boner
然后大家都坐在那撑着帐篷是个什么场景 and we're all sitting there with boners in our pants?
我不知道他还撑不撑得住 I wonder if he's OK in there.
你们几个是干什么的 So what do you guys do here?
我们最近在开发一种无损压缩算法 We're mostly working on a lossless compression algorithm.
-一种啥 -让文件更小 - A what? - It makes files smaller.
无所谓了 名字叫做魔笛手 Doesn't matter. Uh, it's called Pied Piper.
将来会很出名 你总有一天会知道 It's gonna be famous. You'll know it, eventually.
夺走你处女握的女人是谁 Who was this woman that you shook hands with for the first time?
一位邮递员女士 The postman lady.
-什么 -一位曾经是汉子的女士吗 - What? - A woman that was a man?
我说的不是"有弟员" Not a post-man lady.
-是送邮件的女士 -我问你点别的吧 - A lady who was a post... - Let me ask you another question.
你第二次握的是哪个女人的手 Who was the second woman you shook hands with?
我甚至都不知道你会来 I didn't even know you were coming.
-住口 道格 -不是吧 - Stop. Doug! - Oh, boy.
-住口 -我不觉得是我 - Stop. - I don't think I'm the one...
肯定要有人买单 Someone is paying me. OK.
我今晚不是来免费对着你的小帐篷跳舞的 I didn't come just to dance on your boner all night for free.
我没有勃起 我 那只是出于礼貌 I was not erect. I... that was... I was only being polite.
所以你说爱我也只是出于礼貌吗 So you were being polite when you said that you loved me?
首先 我说的是你看起来 First off, I said you seemed like
像是我会爱上的那种人 someone I could fall in love with.
而且没错 也是礼貌 And, yes, also politeness.
理奇 把钱给她 Richie, pay the lady.
什么 凭 凭什么是我给钱 What? Why... why should I pay her?
她又不是我请的 她都没给我跳大腿舞 I didn't hire her. I didn't even get a lap dance.
这是公司派对 而你是首席执行官 This is a company party and you're the CEO.
-赶紧买单吧 -不 要给钱也是你给 - So pony up. - No. If anyone should pay her it should be you.
道格 帮这位首席执行官找到他的钱 Doug, help the CEO find his money.
不 不 我们不 我不需要人帮 No. No, no. We don't... I don't need help.
我知道钱在哪 就在这儿 I know where it is. It's here.
全都在这儿 It's all here.
你们收 不知道你们收不收运通卡 Do you... I don't know... do you accept AmEx?
我当然收 You damn right I do.
给自己划一百美金 摩卡 Put a hundred on there for yourself, Mocha.
-你这小帐篷还真贵 -才没有小帐篷 - Well, that's an expensive boner. - Not a boner.
多谢你们能来 伙计们 Thanks for coming in, guys.
今天的内容很多 We have a lot to do, so,
我们直接开始吧 let's get started.
听起来不错 Sounds great.
我先开始吗 好吧 Me? OK.
我们很激动能开始合作 格里高利先生 Well, we're just really excited to get going, Mr. Gregory.
是吗 "我们"是指谁 Yes. Who's "We"?
我 他 还有家里那些家伙 Myself, him, uh,the guys back at the house.
那些家伙 Guys?
哪些家伙 What guys?
这又是谁 Who is this?
埃利希·巴赫曼 我是个创业者 Erlich Bachman. I'm an entrepreneur,
跟你差不多 much like yourself.
理查德就是住在我的企业孵化器里时 Richard actually developed Pied Piper
开发出魔笛手的 while residing in my incubator,
所以根据我们的协议 so as per our agreement,
我拥有公司的百分之十 I own ten percent of the company.
我花了二十万美金来买百分之五的股权 I'm paying you $200,000 for five percent
而你给了这家伙两倍 yet you're giving this man...
就为了他给你提供的沙发床 twice that in exchange for... a futon?
还有三明治吗 And some sandwiches?
实际上 先生 我的租客们食物自理 Actually, sir, my tenants provide their own food...
其他股权你是怎么分配的 What other percentages have you apportioned?
我能看一下你们的资产表 投资分析 Can I see your cap table, investment deck,
商业计划书以及你们准备的 business plan or any other relevant paperwork
其他相关资料吗 you may have prepared?
我 我还以为 I... I just was under the impression that, uh...
我们只是过来打个招呼 we would just be coming by and saying "Hi", you know,
还有拿支票的 uh, to pick up the check.
我不知道那些东西也该交了 And, uh, I just didn't know that any of that stuff was due yet.
该交 "Due"?
这里不是大学 理查德 This is not college, Richard.
我可不会给你发课程安排 I am not going to be giving you a course syllabus.
你为了保住魔笛手拒绝了一千万美金 You turned down ten million dollars to keep Pied Piper.
你是为了什么拒绝那笔钱的 What did you give up that money for?
这公司到底是什么 What is this company?
我到底买了什么 What did I buy?
-你买了算法 -不 - You bought the algorithm, which... - No.
算法是公司的产品 The algorithm is the product of the company.
这个我知道 I know that.
我问的是公司本身 What I'm asking about is the company itself.
公司由什么人组成 职责都是什么 Who is it? What do they do?
都是必不可少的吗 Are they essential?
还是说你就随便分点股权给他们 Or do you just throw a percentage at them
就像你分给这家伙时一样 like you did with this...
这些都需要弄清楚 This all must be worked out.
马上做 Now.
你说你会指导我们的时候 When you said you'd guide us
我还以为这些就是 through some of the stuff I thought that this was
你要指导我们的东西 the stuff you'd be guiding us through.
在你给出能让我指导的东西之前 I cannot guide you until you give me...
我没办法指导你 something to guide.
这次会面糟糕透顶 This is going very poorly.
-我知道 -他根本不知道自己在干嘛 - I know that. - He doesn't seem to know what he's doing.
你刚刚是从空杯子里喝了一口水吗 Did you just take a sip from an empty cup?
没错 Yes.
你为什么要那么做 Why did you do that?
-就是找点事干 -四十八小时后再来 - Just something to do. - Come back in 48 hours
拿出一份无懈可击的商业计划书 with an airtight business plan,
一个清晰的市场战略 a clear go-to-market strategy,
以及三年损益报表 不然休想拿支票 and three year summary P&L or there will be no check.
就这样吧 That's it.
多谢你们能来 Well, thanks for coming in, guys.
你的办公室里有饮水喷头吗 Are there any water fountains in your offices?
应该有吧 I assume.
有一个能找到附近饮水喷头的应用 I own ten percent of an app
我拥有它百分之十的份额 that locates all nearby water fountains.
我很愿意就此与你讨论一下 I'd be happy to discuss it with you.
再见 先生们 Good day, gentlemen.
你抽大麻吗 You smoke weed?
刚才你在里面让我很丢脸 You really embarrassed me in there.
在今天之前你压根没提过商业计划书 You didn't say shit about any business plan before today.
他也没说过 And neither did he.
他刚才那样可够混蛋的 And he was kind of being an asshole back there.
没错 这就是为什么他能成为亿万富翁 Yeah, that's why he's a billionaire.
因为他知道在什么情况下需要做一个混蛋 'Cause he knows how and when to be an asshole.
你也需要那么做 That's what you need to be like.
-真的 理查德 -随你怎么说 - You do, Richard. - Whatever.
如果你继续这样管理不善 If you continue to mismanage
随便给出公司百分之十的股份 this company giving ten percent to whoever...
当然我那部分股权你是要不回去了 Obviously, you know, we can't go back on my shares.
木已成舟 但以后你得注意 That ship has sailed but from here on out.
你现在就是个混蛋 Now you're being an asshole.
你说的好像这是什么坏事 You say that like it's a bad thing.
理查德 如果你不当这个混蛋 Richard, if you're not an asshole,
就会产生混蛋空缺 it creates this kind of asshole vacuum and that
然后被其他混蛋填补 比如贾里德 void is filled by other assholes, like Jared.
我是说 你都打算把公司股份分给他了 I mean, you almost gave him shares.
你必须完全改变自己 理查德 You need to completely change who you are, Richard.
你必须得进行"日耳曼"转变 A complete Teutonic shift has to happen.
是结构 Tectonic.
什么 What?
"结构性转变变"指的是地壳运动 A "tectonic" shift is the earth's crust moving around.
而你刚才说的是"日耳曼" "Teutonic", which is what you just said,
是一个总和罗马打仗的古老德国部落 is an ancient Germanic tribe that fought the Romans.
起源于斯堪的纳维亚... They were originally from Scandinavia...
闭嘴 闭嘴 Stop it! Stop it.
你现在就是一个彻头彻尾的软蛋 You're being a complete tool right now.
我要你变成个彻头彻尾的混蛋 I need you to be a complete asshole.
明白这两者有什么不同吗 Do you understand the difference?
如果你不当个混蛋 这个公司就完了 If you're not an asshole, this company dies.
埃利希 我只有48小时 Erlich, I have 48 hours.
你到底帮不帮我写这个商业计划书 Are you going to help me with this business plan or not?
我相信你 理查德 所以我不帮你 I believe in you, Richard. That's why I'm not.
维基百科
商业计划
为了支持刚创业的企业而制定的商业计划 "Business plans that are created in support of new ventures
会对已有企业产生深远影响 are to implement profound changes in existing venture."
你好 我是理查德·亨德里克斯 Hi, this is Richard Hendricks.
你现在有时间吗 Is now a good time?
我需要你的帮助 Uh, I need some help.
门口那辆雪佛兰伏特是谁的 Who's Chevy Volt is that out front?
贾里德·邓恩的 Uh, Jared Dunn's.
什么 为什么 他为什么会在这儿 What? Why? Why is he here?
如你所知 Well, because as you know,
我需要有人教我写商业计划书 I need some advice on the business plan.
你把他拉入伙了 You're cutting him in?
早上好 咦 奇怪 Good morning. Whoops, that was weird.
不知道刚才我为什么那么做 I don't know why I did that.
你身上有一种...帝王般的气场 You kind of have a... like a king-ish feeling to you.
就像是...来自瓦哈拉的北欧英雄 You're like a... like a Norse hero from Valhalla.
[瓦哈拉 北欧神话中死亡之神奥丁款待阵亡将士英灵的殿堂]
别拍我马屁 Don't pander to me.
彼得·格里高利明确说过不需要累赘[直译为减肥] Peter Gregory said specifically to trim the fat.
他们其实曾因为我太瘦了 They actually tried to diagnose me
指责我吃东西就是浪费粮食 with a wasting disease because of my slender frame.
我已经写完了吸引用户策略 So, um, I ironed out our customer acquisition strategy,
整理了我们的财政状况 做了贴现估值 and I wrapped our financials, I did a DCF valuation.
[贴现 指将未来的货币转换成当前货币的实际价值]
大多数风投人都算不明白 Most VC's can't even do that math,
但直觉告诉我彼得不是这种人 but something tells me Peter is different.
下一步我们应当与所有成员一对一谈谈 I think we can jump into the one-on-ones with each team member
-看如何合理分配股权 -好的 - to see if I can defend our cap table. - OK.
但在此之前 如果你不介意的话 Um, but first, if you don't mind,
我想去一下洗手间 I'd like to use the restroom.
去呗 去洗手间不需要我批准 Yeah. You don't have to ask permission to do that.
难道你来这儿之后就没去过吗 Why, have you not gone since you've been here?
是的 I have not.
好吧...快去吧 Well... well, go. I mean, go.
丹波克 我知道您之前人在阿斯彭 Denpok, I know you were in Aspen,
谢谢您前来 请坐 thank you for coming. Please, have a seat.
这个夏天我不准备坐下 I'm not sitting this summer.
当然 真是难以置信 Of course. Incredible.
你为何事所恼 盖文 What's weighing on you, Gavin?
贾里德·邓恩今天辞职加入了魔笛手 Jared Dunn quit today to join Pied Piper.
我恨理查德·亨德里克斯 I hate Richard Hendricks,
那个魔笛手小杂种 that little Pied Piper prick.
我不应该这么想吗 Is... is that wrong?
恨意若在平凡人手中 也许是错的 In the hands of a lesser person, perhaps.
但若掌握在有智慧的人手里 But in the hands of the enlightened,
恨意可以作为工具 带来巨大改变 hate can be a tool for great change.
您还是如此睿智 You're right once again.
音响系统 播放约翰·列侬的《想象》 AUDIOUS, play John Lennon's "Imagine."
提示 小屋中的约翰·韦恩 未找到 Cueing, John Wayne in a mansion. Not found.
-妈的 -指令无效 - Fuck! - Invalid command.
妈的 Fuck!
使用你的愤怒 门徒 使用它 Use the anger, chela. Use it.
谢谢你来与我们谈话 吉尔弗约尔 Uh, thanks for sitting down like this, Gilfoyle.
我们都知道这有点奇怪 We know it's kind of a little weird.
那么...你能大概给我介绍一下 So, um... can you kind of catch me up on
你觉得你在公司里的职责是什么 what you see as your role in the company?
你都做些什么 What do you do?
我都做些什么 What do I do?
系统架构 网络及安全 System architecture. Networking and security.
在这方面这屋里没人能比得上我 No one in this house can touch me on that.
很好 多谢赐教 OK, that's good to know.
但有人会对此表示感激吗 But does anyone appreciate that?
当你在莎拉劳伦斯学院忙着辅修性别研究 While you were busy minoring in gender studies
[美国纽约州著名文理学院]
哼着小曲的时候 and singing a capella at Sarah Lawrence,
我在获取美国国家安全局服务器的根权限 I was gaining root access to NSA servers.
点下鼠标就能发起第二次伊朗伊斯兰革命 I was one click away from starting a second Iranian revolution.
[伊朗伊斯兰革命 又称1979年革命 伊朗君主政体被推翻 成立了伊斯兰共和国]
其实我读的是瓦萨学院 I actually went to Vassar.
[瓦萨学院 美国纽约州另一所著名文理学院]
我能阻止跨站脚本攻击 I prevent cross-site scripting,
我监视着分布式拒绝服务攻击 I monitor for DDOS attacks,
紧急的数据库回滚和错误的事件处理 emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings.
互联网 听说过吧 The Internet... heard of it?
每分钟传输千兆字节的数据 ...transfers half a petabyte of data every minute.
你知道那是如何实现的吗 Do you have any idea how that happens?
你每天在线看的那些小黄片 All those YouPorn ones and zeroes streaming directly
是如何发送到你那个小破智能手机里的呢 to your shitty, little smart phone day after day?
还有那些无法在12秒内下到最新史奇雷克斯 Every dipshit who shits his pants if he can't get
新电子混音曲就要尿了的傻逼们 the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds?
那并不是魔法 那是天赋与汗水 It's not magic, it's talent and sweat.
我这样的人保证了你的数据包 People like me, ensuring your packets
完好无损的送达 所以我都做些什么 get delivered, un-sniffed. So what do I do?
我保证了整个公司不会因为 I make sure that one bad config on one key component
核心组件中的一个错误设置而毁于一旦 doesn't bankrupt the entire fucking company.
我他妈就是干这个的 That's what the fuck I do.
我基本也是这么跟他说的 That's basically what I told him.
听着 无论最后结果如何 Listen, wherever we end up here...
我只是想说我认为 ...I just wanna say that I feel
我应当比迪尼希获得更多股份 I should get more equity than Dinesh.
我知道吉尔弗约尔肯定过来跟你们 I know Gilfoyle probably came in here
说了一堆技术术语 and puked out a bunch of tech specs,
但其实四分之三都是狗屁 three-fourths of which are total horse-shit.
他提到伊朗革命了吗 Did he bring up the Iranian Revolution thing?
那些都毫无意义 Yeah, those words mean nothing.
但事实是 But here's a fact:
我是这些小丑里面唯一会用Java编程的 I'm the only one of these clowns that can code in Java.
我还能用性能稳定启动快速且能够 And I write sleek performant low-overhead Scala code
[Scala语言 基于Java平台的多范式编程语言 集成面向对象编程和函数式编程的各种特性]
在任何环境下运行的的Scala语言 with higher order functions that will run on anything.
句号 讲完了 也就是说 Period. End of sentence. So basically,
我的贡献比吉尔弗约尔大 I think whatever equity I get,
这要在我的股份上有所体现 it should reflect that I contribute more than Gilfoyle.
-这感觉怪怪的 -对啊 我知道 - This sounds weird. - I know, right? It's...
-每个人都要做 -吉尔弗约尔做了吗 - Everybody's been doing it. - Gilfoyle did this?
只是走个形式 帮我了解你们 It's just a formality, to get me caught up.
你认为自己在魔笛手团队中有什么价值 So what makes you of value to the Pied Piper team?
编程吧 Programming.
也许吧 我很会写代码 I guess... pretty good at code,
开发算法 诸如此类 develop algorithms... so forth.
与理查德发明的算法不同吗 Different from the type of algorithm Richard created?
是啊 他的甩我几条街 Well, yeah. Like, not as good.
理查德是十倍速 我也就勉强一倍速 Richard's a 10X-er, I'm, like, barely an X-er.
我很逊 I kinda suck.
你被轰了 接下来 Smoked you. And now...
-别太过分 -来个蘑菇章 - Don't be a dick. - Mushroom stamp!
-你过分了 -盖好了 记得给你妈看噢 - You're being a dick. - There you go. Show that to your mom.
蘑菇章 好梗 Mushroom stamp! That's great.
你们认为贾里德怎么样 烂透了对吧 Hey, what do you guys think about this Jared? He's shit, right?
不 他其实挺厉害的 No, he's pretty sharp.
是啊 他能做我们做不了的事 Yeah, he does shit that no one else in the house can do.
是啊 但他总装得自己好像无所不能 Yeah, but he's a know it all.
我们的小庙装不下他 I don't think there's room in here for him.
等理查德甩掉大头以后就装得下了 Well, there will be after Richard gets rid of Big Head.
等等 理查德要甩掉大头 为什么 Wait, Richard's getting rid of Big Head? Why?
听着 我们都爱大头 Listen, we all love Big Head.
但事实是他编程没有我好 But, the truth is he's not as good of a coder as I am,
搭建系统没有吉尔弗约尔强 not as good at system architecture as Gilfoyle,
犯浑没有你厉害 无意冒犯 not as good at being a prick as you, no offense.
他所有事都不在行 没什么贡献 He's a lightweight at everything. Brings nothing to the table.
让他分一杯羹就像在侮辱我们 Him getting points would be a big "Fuck you" to all of us.
-但他是个好人 -人好 但没用 - But he's a great guy. - Great guy. But useless.
是啊 他是个好人 不像那个贾里德 Yeah, he is a great guy. Not like that Jared.
这点我们倒是可以达成一致 At least we can all agree on that.
我也不知道 Yeah, I don't know.
我和理查德好像一直是共同进退 Me and Richard have just always kinda like been in this together, you know?
共同进退 但只是想弄清楚 Together, right. But to be clear,
理查德是自己发明的那个算法 对吧 Richard created the algorithm on his own, yes?
对啊 跟我没有任何关系 Oh, yeah, I had nothing to do with that.
-他是我最好的朋友 -那倒是真的 - He's my best friend. - That's true.
确实 你们的感情确实很深厚 Yes. The camaraderie is quite apparent.
但彼得·格里高利要的是一个精简 But Peter Gregory demanded a lean,
无情的商业计划 ruthless business plan.
我想微软的首席执行官 And I don't think that
可不会给好朋友开工资 the CEO of Microsoft has a paid best friend.
谢尔盖·布林就付了 拉里啥都不会 Sergey Brin does. Larry doesn't do shit.
[两人均为谷歌创始人]
你看 See?
就让大头做一个 What if Big Head is sort of like
流动人员呢 就像多面手 a floating utility player? Kinda like a jack of all trades.
但他自己也承认 他更像是无为大师 But by his own admission, he's really more like a master of none.
确实是 确实如此 That's true. That is true.
通常人们不会给这样一个人 Which is not something you'd generally
分配日后可能估值达 reward with several points in what may some day be
数十亿美元公司的股权 a multi-billion dollar company.
彼得·格里高利绝不会同意的 This will never fly with Peter Gregory.
我现在可不想当理查德 I would not want to be Richard right now.
必须告诉大头他得走人了 Having to tell Big Head that he's out.
我这么说可能听起来很恶毒 This is gonna sound super mean,
但有一天晚上他在睡觉 but the other night he was sleeping,
我盯着他的脸 I was just staring at his face.
我能想到的只有 他真是太没用了 All I could think was, "He's utterly useless."
大头是个一无是处的人 Big Head is a man with zero purpose.
-你好 大头 -你好 - Oh, hi. Hi, Big Head. - Hey.
进展如何 How's it going?
现在看来 很不错 It's... super good... right now.
我去骑一小会儿自行车 Um, I'm just going to maybe go for a bike ride real fast
清理一下思绪 and clear my... head.
回头 见 I'll see... you.
-一路平安 -好好玩 - Bike safe. - Yeah, enjoy it.
真好啊 各位 他都听见了 That was nice, guys. He heard everything.
那并不代表我们说错了 That doesn't make it not true.
我说 理查德 对魔笛手来说 I mean, come on, Richard. As far as Pied Piper is concerned,
他就和质量效应3的多结局一样毫无意义 he's as pointless as Mass Effect 3's multiple endings.
他对公司来说毫无用处 我们都知道这一点 I mean, he's a completely useless appendage and we all know it.
-你好 伙计 -忘了拿水壶了 - Oh, hey, man. - Forgot my water bottle.
我去拿一下水壶 然后 Just gonna grab it, and then
再走出去一遍 probably walk right back through one more time.
质量效应3 这话太重了 I mean, Mass Effect 3? Harsh.
我也没想让他听到 但这是事实 I didn't mean for him to hear it but it was true.
我们一直都在说他人有多好 I mean, we all called him a
但他一次都没听到过 great guy but he didn't overhear any of that.
已经12个小时了 It's been 12 hours.
老天 他还是不接电话 Goddamn. He's still not answering.
我有点担心他了 I'm actually kind of worried about him.
如果他真的走了 是说那种走了 You know, if he's gone, like, really truly gone,
某种程度上来说也算是解决你的问题了 in a way that kind of solves your problem.
我是说 如果他死了 I mean, like, if he's dead...
你的意思是大头有可能死了吗 Are you trying to say that Big Head might be dead?
这有什么帮助 这能帮得了什么 That doesn't help at all. How is that helping?
我只是说 I'm just saying that that's
这是一种可能而已 a possible thing that could've happened to him.
谁都有一死 至少这个情况下 It could happen to anybody. And in this case,
还有点好处 at least something good came out of it.
有什么好处 What's the good part?
你不用去跟他开口让他走人了 You don't have to have an awkward conversation.
你这么说很恐怖 我们是不是该去找找他 That's scary. Should we go look for him?
我和他们看法一样 贾里德就是不适合这里 I mean, I agree with these guys. Jared's just not working out.
-什么 -理查德 - What? - Um, Richard...
我不想太独断 I, uh, don't wanna be too assertive here
关于这份商业计划书我需要你的看法 but I could use your input on a few things for the business plan.
理奇 你尽力了 就给他打个电话 Richie, you tried your best. Just call him,
留条留言 说他被开掉了 leave a message, say he's out.
不 这么做太混蛋了 No, that's an asshole move.
是啊 忘了吗 你就需要做个混蛋 Yeah, remember? You need to be an asshole.
很抱歉我刚才说他可能死了之类的话 I feel bad about saying that thing about him being dead.
我其实不是那种人 That's not who I am.
-等等 这是什么 -这不可能 - Wait, what is that? - That's impossible.
乳报还没上线呢 Nip Alert isn't live yet.
也许他在做测试 Maybe he's demoing it for someone.
■
摩卡奇诺7986 注册时间: 今天 上次提醒: 刚刚 提醒次数: 1次 城市: 加州 圣何塞 距离: 26.88公里
摩卡奇诺 "Mochacino."
他居然骑车去了圣何塞 He rode his bike to San Jose?
贾里德 能不能借你的车用一下 Jared, can I borrow your car?
-当然 -我也有车 - Sure. - I have a car.
我的车怎么了 What... what's wrong with my car?
我要 我也不知道 I just have... I don't know.
好吧 记得要混蛋一点 All right, well, remember to be an asshole.
做个真正的流氓 A real asshole.
你好 我是理查德·亨德里克斯 Hi, I'm Richard Hendricks.
你去我家跳过舞 You did a dance... the dancing at my house.
有人来接你了 Your ride's here.
你好 伙计 Oh, hey, man.
蘑菇章 Mushroom stamp!
别啊 伙计 别 No, come on, dude, not...
我只是想靠电脑过活 I just wanted to work with computers and get paid for it.
我不想和我的室友 I didn't want end up fighting
争那几个百分点 with my roommates over percentage points.
你要放弃了吗 So you're just gonna give up?
放弃什么 这又不是我家 On what? This isn't home.
不管我多努力 这都不是我家 As much as I've tried, it's just not.
如果我当时没拿摩卡奇诺的名片 I mean, what would've I have
谁知道我会干出点什么呢 even done if I didn't have Mochacino's card?
我又能去哪儿 真是可悲 Where would I have gone? It's fucking pathetic.
摩卡奇诺看起来还挺喜欢你的 Well, Mochacino seemed to like you.
她让你进她家了 She let you into her apartment.
我拿自行车换的 I had to give her my bike.
她就和这破谷里其他人一样 She's just like everyone else in this goddamn valley.
只要不亏就行 操他大爷的 我不干了 Watching the bottom line. Fuck it, dude. I'm done here.
那乳报怎么办 What about Nip Alert?
摩卡奇诺靠露奶讨生活 Mochacino shows her tits for a living
但连她都不愿意用那玩意 and even she was uncomfortable using it.
她说这是性别歧视 她说得对 确实很变态 She said it was sexist. She's right. It's actually perverted.
我开发了个变态 性别歧视 毫无用处的程序 I made a perverted, sexist, useless thing.
他们说的都没错 伙计 And, you know, everybody's right, man,
我在魔笛手毫无用处 there's nothing for me to do on Pied Piper.
再给我点时间 我们可以给你找个位置 I think over time, maybe we could redefine your role.
何必呢 伙计 除非 Come on, dude. Unless you can
你现在能说出我能为魔笛手做些什么 tell me right now what I can do for Pied Piper
而且是别人做不了的 不然我就走人了 that no one else can, I'm gone.
我就知道 Yeah.
我现在去互利收拾下我的东西 I'm going to go get the stuff out of my cube at Hooli
然后就离开这里 and then I'm getting the hell out of this town.
那就此别过了 So this is goodbye then?
我还是会回家的 伙计 I mean, I'll see you back at the house, man.
我还得打包东西 I gotta, like, pack and stuff.
当然 Totally.
我乘火车回去 需要思考下 I'm going to take the train I think, just... do some thinking...
好的 回见 OK, all right, see ya.
-火车站在这边 -我刚想跟你说 - The train is this way... I just... - Oh. I was gonna say.
大头 Big Head...
不管你有什么狗屁话要说 Whatever shit you're about to dump on my head,
闭嘴吧 我没那心情 you can save it, OK? I'm not in the mood.
伙计 我只是想告诉你 Dude, I just wanted to tell you
盖文·贝尔森要找你谈谈 that Gavin Belson wants to talk to you about something.
-好吧 操你大爷 -不 我是认真的 - Oh, OK. Fuck you. - No. Seriously.
盖文·贝尔森说他想找尼尔森·达头蒂谈谈 Gavin Belson said he wants to speak to Nelson Bighetti?
是啊 我刚才就说了 Yeah, that's what I just said.
走啊 Come on.
好吧 Ok.
我醒着 没睡着 I'm awake! I'm awake.
-什么 -不 我睡着了 - What? - No, no, I wasn't.
我刚才在打盹 I was sleeping.
很抱歉我睡着了还为此撒了谎 I'm sorry for sleeping and for lying about it.
为二者致歉 很不应该 For both. No good.
怎么回事 你把大头解雇了吗 What happened? Did you fire Big Head?
没有 还没 我也说不清 算是吧 Uh, no. Not yet. I don't know. Sort of.
那我到底应不应该把他算在资产表里 So do I include him in the cap table or not?
已经差不多准备好了 It's basically good to go.
不用 他已经被解雇了 Uh... no, he's out.
等等 我也不知道 Uh, wait... I don't know.
实际上我得先去睡会 好吗 Actually, I just need to close my eyes for a little bit. OK?
理查德 还剩四小时就要做报告了 Richard, it's t-minus four hours until presentation time.
你到底炒不炒大头 Are you gonna fire Big Head or not?
我不知道 我太累了 I don't know. Uh... I'm just very tired.
好吗 我得去喝口水 OK? I'm just gonna go get some water...
理查德 别他妈唧唧歪歪的 Richard, stop being a fucking pussy
得有点混蛋样 and start being an asshole.
好吧 你想让我混蛋一点 Fine! You want me to be an asshole,
那我就混蛋给你看 I'll be an asshole.
我要很混账地对你 I'll be an asshole to you and
你 你还有你 you and you and you
还有那个该死的彼得·格里高利 and Peter-fucking-Gregory!
满意了吗 去你们的 大头留下 OK? Fuck all of you. Big Head stays!
如果我想卖公司的话 You know, if I wanted to be a sell out
我早就那么干了 I'd have done that already.
我现在就能口袋里装着一千万 I'd be on a beach somewhere
去海滩逍遥自在了 with ten million dollars in my pocket.
当然装不进我口袋 是在银行账户里 Not in my pocket, in a bank account.
挺清楚了吗 这是我的公司 OK? This is my company.
由我做决定并听我指挥 It was my idea and we do what I say.
我的决定就是 贾里德 And what I say is, Jared,
把大头加到商业计划书里 put Big Head in the business plan.
他分得的股份跟其他人一样 He gets the same amount of shares as everybody else.
大头 你不用卷铺盖走人了 伙计 Big Head, you're not going home, man.
你说得没错 我不用 You're right. I'm not.
盖文·贝尔森刚刚为了把我挖走 Gavin Belson just offered me a huge promotion
给我提供了年薪六十万的升职机会 for 600 grand a year to steal me away from you guys.
-什么 -没错 - What? - Yeah.
作为报复 因为你挖走了贾里德 For revenge. Because you took Jared.
所以你就是怨恨之副总了 So you're like the V.P. of Spite?
但你得帮我个忙 理查德 But you have to do me a favor, Richard,
如果你以后撞见盖文 if you run into Gavin ever
一定要装作对此很难过 好吗 you have to act really upset about it, you know?
但我确实很难过 Oh, but I am upset.
好吗 真他妈操蛋 OK? What the fuck? I kind
我为了你和所有人都翻脸了 伙计 of just went out on a limb for you here, man.
抱歉 伙计 但对我来说机会难得 Sorry, man, but this is huge for me.
我准备搬出去自己住 I'm going to move out, get my own place.
鉴于这个消息 大头的股权归谁 In light of this new information, who gets Big Head's equity?
我能拿一半他的股份吗 Should I get half of his shares...?
是我的 归我 I do. I get it.
好吗 全归我 OK? I get all of it!
大头 伙计 Big Head, man,
恭喜你得到这份工作 真心的 congratulations on the job, really.
但失陪下 But if you'll excuse me,
我得去最终敲定这个操蛋的商业计划书 I have to go lock down a motherfucking business plan.
贾里德 你跟我来 Jared, you're with me.
-真够混蛋的 -没错 真是个混蛋 - What an asshole. - Yeah. What an asshole.
下一位 Next.
你好 存钱吗 Hi. Deposit?
支付给 魔笛手股份有限公司
5%公司股份
彼得·格里高利
彼得·格里高利支付的二十万美元吗 Two hundred thousand dollars from Peter Gregory?
抱歉 Sorry.
喂 Hello?
伙计 他们正在分解你的代码 Dude, they're taking your code apart.
什么 What?
你给那帮码仔队权限 Did you give those brogrammer guys
下载播放器了吗 access to a player download or something?
妈的 他们可能破解了源程序 Oh shit. They probably hacked the prototype
反编译了压缩库 and decompiled the compression library...
他们已经都搞定了 伙计 Well, they've got it now, man.
他们准备逆向生成一个版本 They're gonna reverse-engineer a version
与你的尽可能相似 但又不会侵权 as close as they can without getting sued.
等下 你确定吗 Wait, wait, are you sure about this?
当然了 伙计 盖文想要抢占你的市场 Yeah, dude, Gavin wants to beat you to market.
他要确保硅谷的其他投资者 He wants to make sure no other investor
一个子都不会付给你 in the Valley offers you a dime.
这可不妙 That is not good.
他们叫它'纽核力' 鬼知道是什么意思 They're calling it Nucleus, whatever the fuck that means.
妈的 抱歉伙计 Shit. Sorry, dude,
我不能再跟你说了 回聊 I can't be talking to you like this. Later.
好吧 Yeah.
纽核力 "Nucleus"?
打扰下 Excuse me.
这张支票是付给'魔笛手股份有限公司'的 This check is made out to "Pied Piper Incorporated."
[美国申请雇主识别码的表格]
你带SS-4表格了吗 Do you have an SS-4?
什么东西 A what?
魔笛手这个公司在国税局注册过吗 Is "Pied Piper" a corporation registered with the IRS?
我不能把它存入个人账户 I can't deposit that into a personal account.
我不知道 I don't know.
这些事情你能帮我搞定吗 Um... is that something maybe you could help me with?
不行 先生 No, sir.
哥们 搞什么 Buddy, come on.
好吧 好 Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.
-谢谢你 -抱歉 好吧 - Thank you. - Sorry. OK.
下一位 Next.
背景音乐：派对和胡说八道（混音版）） Party and Bullshit (Remix)
拉塔塔特电子组合Ratatat2006年作品
出自专辑《9拍 9Beats》