这街区他妈的乱爆了 伙计 It's a fucking sketchy neighborhood, man.
看到那人了吗 他是楚伊·拉米雷兹 You see that guy? That's Chuy Ramirez.
我们的新标志设计师 And he's gonna do our new LOGO.
他就是你提过的那位艺术家吗 That's the artist you were talking about?
你说他有自己的画廊 You said he had paintings in galleries.
街道就是他的画廊 His works hang in the gallery of the streets.
-我去去就回 -别啊 什么 - I'll be back in a flash. - Whoa, no. What?
好吧 Ok.
我们就这样傻坐着吗 Man, we're just going to sit here like this?
操 看这人 Oh, shit. Look at this guy.
长得真凶神恶煞 He's a scary individual.
哥们 卖毒品吗 Hey, buddy. Do you have any drugs?
拜托 升起来 升起来 Please, let it up. Let it up.
你不松手 我没法把玻璃升上来 If you don't let it go, I can't roll it up.
拜托... 放... 你... Just... please... Just, you...
王八蛋 Fucking prick!
看我怎么收拾你 I'm gonna beat you in your face!
楚伊·拉米雷兹 我是埃利希·巴赫曼 Chuy Ramirez? Erlich Bachman.
-我们通过电话 -什么事 - We spoke on the phone? - What's up, man?
-很高兴见到你 -我也是 - Pleasure to meet you. - All right.
看这幅作品 太棒了 This is great. Look at this.
这正是我们想要的 懂我意思吗 This is what we need, you know what I mean?
天然去雕饰的东西 Something raw.
我们公司名已经很烂了 '魔笛手' We already have kind of a shitty name, Pied Piper,
但我们绝不要一个方块里加俩小写的P but the last thing we want is two lowercase P's in a square
跟高速那边那群混蛋一样 like those motherfuckers across the freeway would make.
这才是我们想要的 This is what we want.
所以你想给我认股权还是别的什么 So you gonna give me stock options, or what?
-什么 -你知道大卫·崔吗 - What? - Yeah. You know Dave Choe?
他给脸书的大楼画了副壁画 He did the murals over at FaceBook.
就拿到了认股权 He got a stock option deal,
摇身一变成为亿万富翁 ended up making like a hundred million dollars.
我也要这样的报酬 I want a deal like that.
我不会华尔街那套忽悠人的调调 You know, I don't really speak all that Wall Street bullshit.
你懂我的意思吗 You know what I'm saying?
我们只有五个人 窝在一间房 We're just like five guys hanging out in a house,
想干出一番大事业 trying to make cool shit.
你说过你持有百分之十的股份 Well, you told me you own ten percent of it,
那你一定知道点内部消息 so you must know something about it, right?
你可以把你的股份给我一点 You could just give me some of your points.
我不是搞财务的 Hey, I'm not an accountant, you know?
我都不懂那词是什么意思 I don't even know what that means,
很多词我都听不懂 a lot of those words.
你混蛋 You fucking prick!
你他妈的 Oh, you fucker.
让我进去 拜托 拜托 Let me in. Please, please...
我会砸窗的 我无所谓 才不在乎 I'll break this. I don't care. I don't care.
-我会砸... -我听不到你说什么 - I'll break this... - I can't hear you.
天啊 我听不清 Oh God. I can't hear you.
对 但你不会想要我们公司的股份 Yeah, but you don't want stock in our company.
如果能重选一次 我一定不要股份 If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have taken the stock.
我只会拿钱 我和你说... I would've taken cash only. I'm telling you...
那哥们是谁 Who's that dude?
不是谁 就是个程序员 Uh, nobody. He's a coder.
你有拉丁裔的员工 You got a Latino working for you?
真厉害 高科技的一般都不招拉丁人 That's cool, yo. Not a lot of Latinos working in tech.
对对 他是拉丁裔 Yeah. Yeah, he's Latino.
而且他是我们最好的程序员之一 Yeah, and he's one of the best coders we have.
也给我们公司增添了不少拉丁元素 Kind of adds a Latin flair to the company.
我告诉过你 我们不走寻常路 I told you, we do things differently.
你知道吗 Yeah. You know what?
你们有拉丁员工 我可以拿现金 I could do a cash deal for a Latino company.
但是 我们不能再待这了 I think we should get out of here, though,
我这是喷在了别人的画上 because I just painted over some dude's shit
这事可是会挨枪子的 and people get shot behind that.
少侠再会 So I'll catch you on the flip. Peace!
好吧 再会 楚伊 Uh, OK. Peace, Chuy.
天啊 这... Oh, God. This is...
这可不是闹着玩的 This is very real!
迪尼希 快滚上车 Hey, Dinesh! Get in the fucking car.
-可能要发生飞车枪击案了 -什么 - There may be a drive-by about to happen. - What?
-信号风险-
第
一
季
第
五
集
硅
谷
你不经同意 就许诺给他 You promised this guy ten thousand dollars
一万美金 without any approval?
-你嗑药了吗 -嗑了点 - Are you high? - A little bit, yeah.
不过和这没关系 But that's irrelevant.
好公司要配好标志 A cool company needs a cool LOGO.
'纽核力'的傻蛋才不会干出 You think those guys over at Nucleus are hiring
雇有案底的人去车库画壁画这么酷的事 a convicted felon to paint a mural on their garage?
还花一万块吗 当然不 For ten thousand dollars? No.
我做了一份开销预算图 Look, I took a run at a burn-down chart.
我的老天 Jesus fucking Christ.
情况不容乐观 It's not pretty.
开销预算
这样下去 The way things are going,
五个月内我们是做不完的 we're not gonna finish for five months,
即使减少每人的工资 and even with everyone on reduced salaries,
到第四个月 我们的资金也会用尽 we'll exhaust all our funding in four.
这还不算你浪费了一万在标志上 And that's without wasting ten thousand dollars on artwork.
"浪费" 我可是谈了笔好买卖 "Wasting"? I got a great deal.
他在看见迪尼希前一直想要股票期权 You know he wanted stock options until he saw Dinesh?
等等 什么情况 Hold on, what?
你别觉得被冒犯了 Don't be offended,
但楚伊看了你一眼 出于某种诡异的原因 but for some weird reason, Chuy took a look at you
他觉得你是墨西哥人 and thought you were... a Mexican.
为什么这会冒犯到我 Why would I be offended by that?
什么 What?
为什么他认为我是墨西哥人会冒犯到我 Why would I be offended by him thinking I'm Mexican?
他就是墨西哥人 对吧 He's Mexican, right?
他是 但你不是啊 Yeah, he is, but you're not.
你是巴基斯坦人 You're Pakistani.
所以呢 实际上 So? Actually,
你以为这会冒犯到我 the very fact that you think this would be offensive to me
才是对我的冒犯 is offensive.
你有种族歧视 You're the one being racist.
不是啊 我又没说你是墨西哥人 No. I'm not the one who called you a Mexican.
"说我是墨西哥人" 你又来了 "Called me a Mexican"? You're doing it again.
我可是在拼命避免种族歧视呢 I'm bending over backwards to not be racist right now.
那你告诉他我不是墨西哥人时 All right. Well, what did he say
他怎么说的 when you told him I wasn't Mexican?
-我没说 -为什么不 - I didn't. - And why not?
因为我想低价雇他来画车库门 Because I wanted him to paint our garage for cheap.
我实在不知道该作何回应 I... I genuinely don't know how to respond to that.
我不会上你的套的 You know, I'm not gonna take the bait here.
我不搞种族歧视那一套 好吧 I am not a racist, all right?
我看很多黑人色情片 非常多 I watch a lot of black porn. I mean, a lot.
有个小问题 One question:
你看的色情片里 男主是黑人 in this porn, is the man black,
或女主是黑人 还是都是 or the woman black, or are they both?
所以其中一个是种族歧视 其他不是吗 Is one of those racist, and the others aren't?
我去黑他的浏览器历史记录 I'll hack his browser history.
咱得查个清楚 We'll get to the bottom of this.
好的 Yep.
等等 没这个必要 Hold on. That's unnecessary.
等等 Hold on.
理查德 Richard?
你能解释一下吗 Can you explain this to me?
什么 What?
我在'科技博客'的一个朋友刚给我发了短信 I just got a text from my friend at TechCrunch.
'魔笛手'刚刚打入了今年的创业竞技场 Pied Piper just got into this year's Start-Up Battlefield?
真的吗 那很好啊 Oh, really? Oh, that's so cool.
不 一点也不好 No. No, it isn't.
我们有金主了 理查德 We're already seeded, Richard.
为什么还要参加创业展会 Why would we enter a start-up competition at a tech conference?
我几个月前提交的申请 I sent in the application a few months ago
结果给忘了 and I totally forgot about it.
淡定 我会撤销申请 Relax, I will withdraw.
淡定 这里已经乱套了 Relax? This house is chaos.
我放弃了'互利'的大好工作 I gave up a great job and stock options
和股票期权来到这里 at Hooli to come here
因为我以为'魔笛手'能获得成功 because I thought Pied Piper could be viable,
但如果不做出改变 它将无法发展下去 but it never will be unless we make some changes.
我们得像企业一样运营 We need to operate like a business
不然我们不可能... or we're not going to...
理查德 理查德 Richard? Richard?
感谢前来 尼尔森 Thanks for coming in, Nelson.
贝尔森先生很期待与你的会面 Mr. Belson is very excited to meet with you.
我还以为他这周在杰克逊霍尔 I thought he was in Jackson Hole this week.
没错 我们要用'人像传输'与他连线 Yes, he is. We're going to call him up on the TeleHuman.
这非常神奇 是一项我们收购的 It's amazing. It's holographic
3D全息远程会议技术 3D teleconferencing technology that we've acquired.
它会让你感觉盖文就在这里 It's going to feel as if Gavin is right here
就在你身边 in the room with you.
是他 Oh, it's him!
是他 It's him!
你好 尼尔森 感谢你前来会面 Hello, Nelson. Thanks for meeting with me.
你好 真酷啊 Whoa. Hi. That's cool.
我在那边也是全息影像吗 Am I a hologram over there too?
什么 不 当然不是了 What? No, of course not.
你和理查德·亨德里克斯还有联系吗 Question: do you still talk to Richard Hendricks?
有 但绝不是关于'纽核力'什么的 Uh, yeah. I mean, not about Nucleus or anything...
他为什么要让'魔笛手' Why would he enter Pied Piper
参加'科技博客'创业展会 in TechCrunch Disrupt?
我知道有很多厉害角色都出自这里 I know a lot of big players have come out of it,
'碉堡盒' '雅美'[社交软件]等等 Dropbox, Yammer, what have you.
但彼得·格里高利已经在资助他了 But Peter Gregory's already funding him.
他怎么会同意理查德这样做 没道理啊 Why would he let Richard do this? It makes no sense.
我不知道 我都不知道理查德参加了 I don't know. I didn't even know Richard got in.
彼得·格里高利是在耍我吗 Is Peter Gregory toying with me?
是想让理查德做出接地气的样子吗 Is he trying to make Richard seem folksy?
打造羞涩的少年天才形象 Like some aw-shucks boy-genius
跟大家一起竞争 entering an everyman's competition?
贝尔森先生 Mr. Bel... Mr. Belson?
-能听到吗 -还在吗 - Can you hear me? - Hello?
-能听到吗 -能 只是... - Can you hear me? - Yeah, it's just...
-有点不稳定 -有人在吗吗吗吗 - It's sort of fading. - Hel-l-l-lo?
-我在 -还在吗吗吗吗 - Hello. - Hello-ooo.
我能听见你说话 只是图像有点... I'm hearing you, it's just the image is...
尼尔森 先闭嘴 Nelson, shut up for a second.
如果你能听见我说话 打个手势 If you can hear me, make a gesture.
是这样吗 能看到吗 Is that... do you...
我听见了 是这样吗 I hear you. Is this...
我完全不知道你在说什么 尼尔森 I have no idea what you're saying, Nelson.
尼尔森 尼尔森 Nelson. Nelson.
能帮我修一下吗 Can you help me, please?
应该是你安装时出的问题 OK, I think what happened was when you set it up,
-忘记装... -不是我安装的 - you forgot to... - I didn't set it up.
我付钱让你们来装 快把它修好 I paid one of you people to set it up. Just fix it.
好吧 OK.
问题是 它坏了 Here's the thing, it's not working.
音频还能用 你可以只用音频 Um, the audio's still working. You could just use that.
音频还能用 拜托 "The audio is working"? Excuse me?!
我花了两千多万美金买了这个公司 I paid twenty million fucking dollars to acquire this company!
去你妈的 音频还能用 Fuck you, the audio is working!
那他妈是打电话好吗 Audio worked a hundred fucking years ago!
你个废废废废废物 You fucking piece of shit-t-t-t...
-看来连接断了 -是啊 - It appears we've lost him. - Yeah.
-不如我们用互利聊吧 -好的 - Why don't we just Hooli-Chat instead? - Yeah.
这样好多了 That's better.
对不起 人像传输是一项伟大的技术 Sorry. The TeleHuman is a great piece of technology.
但很不幸 怀俄明乡下 Unfortunately, the broadband
这的带宽太低 isn't that great out here in rural Wyoming.
这给我们带来了很多的商 That presents a great business opportu...
尼尔森 听得到的话 做个手势 Nelson, make a gesture... ...hear me.
真他妈的 Oh, for fuck's sake.
我想你可能忘记更新你的软件了 Uh... I think you forgot to update your software.
去你妈 God dammit. Fu...!
您选择的服务暂时不可用
对不起
喂 盖文 Hello. Oh, hi, Gavin.
你说什么 对不起 What's that? I'm sorry,
你那边信号不好 you're kind of breaking up there.
喂 喂喂 He... Hello? Hello?
好了 开始开会吧 OK, let's start the meeting.
我们需要定义一下企业文化 I think we need to define our corporate culture.
我们的企业文化就是 Our whole corporate culture is that we don't have
没有企业文化 a corporate culture.
这太扯淡了 吉尔弗约尔 That is totally ridiculous, Gilfoyle.
狗能拥有更加敏锐的嗅觉 The main reason dogs are perceived to have
主要原因就是 a more keen sense of smell
它们的鼻子更贴近地面 is because their noses are closer to the ground.
因此只要稍加练习 Therefore, with a little practice,
我就能拥有和狗同样敏锐的嗅觉 I could easily have as keen a sense of smell as a dog's.
伙计们 我猜你们没看到标志 Guys? I guess you didn't see the sign.
我们正在开会呢 We're actually having a meeting here.
会议进行中
祝贺你们 Congratulations.
会议只限管理人员参与 It's sort of for management only.
你他妈说真的吗 Are you fucking serious right now?
你真的要赶我们出去 Are you really kicking us out?
我想 你们俩也许可以 Well, I thought, maybe you guys could just
拿着吃的去客厅吃 take your food into the living room?
所以你想在放食物的房间开会 So you want to have a meeting in the room where all the food is,
却让我们去办公的地方吃东西 while we eat our food in the room where all of the computers are?
伙计们 就五分钟 拜托 Guys, just five minutes. Please?
看到了吗 这就是活生生的例子 OK, you see? This... this is a case in point.
这是一家公司 This is a company,
但我们没有任何界限和规则 and yet we have no boundaries and no protocol.
我们需要塑造出企业文化来 We need to establish a clear corporate culture
否则我们永远无法成功 or we're not gonna make it.
拿迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔来讲 Take Dinesh and Gilfoyle.
他们浪费了好多时间来争论 They are wasting an enormous amount of time arguing.
如果我们能把他们分开呢 What if we were to separate them, right?
把他们现有的工作区域隔开 Divide their existing work space into two areas.
我们可以设立一些可移动的屏障 We could put in some kind of portable barrier...
他要用隔间 He's talking about cubicles!
我们不要隔间 坚决不 We are not doing cubicles. No way!
不不不 别把它想象成隔间 No, no, no. Don't think of it as a cubicle.
把它想象成灰白色的小围栏 Just think of it as a neutral-colored enclosure,
大概这么高 环绕在你们工作区周围 about yay-high, around your workspace.
好吧 但你知道有谁用隔间吗 OK, fine. But do you know who uses cubicles?
五百强的公司都用 Every single Fortune 500 company.
为什么 因为他们要工作 Why? Because they work.
他要把我们变成企业摇滚风 理查德 He's trying to turn us into corporate rock, Richard.
-不是的 -我们是朋克摇滚风 - No. - We are punk rock.
事实上 我觉得用爵士风来形容更合适 Actually, you know, I think a better analogy would be jazz.
就好像我们围绕一个主题即兴创作 Like we riff and improvise around a central theme
最终形成一首结构紧密的音乐 to create one cohesive piece of music...
你不觉得这比喻更贴切吗 Don't you think that's better?
不 茱莉亚音乐学院给他妈爵士乐开了课的 No, no. They teach fucking jazz at Juilliard.
我们不是爵士风 我们是朋克摇滚风 We're not jazz. We're fucking punk rock.
看到了吗 你们明明想表达一个意思 You see? You see, you guys are arguing over
却在争论用什么样的比喻更好 what metaphor to use to agree with each other.
我不希望你们这样浪费时间 This is the inefficiency I'm trying to eliminate.
我的建议反而能帮你们打败我 My suggestions could actually help you beat me in this argument.
你们明白这其中的讽刺了吗 Do you see the irony there?
这我倒是无法争辩了 I... I can't argue with this.
埃利希 Yo, Erlich!
楚伊来了 Uh, Chuy's here.
不 这才是最离谱的事情 No. And this, this... this is the craziest one of all.
我们真要花一万美金 I mean, we're really about to spend ten thousand dollars
买个自己也能免费设计出来的标志吗 on-on-on a LOGO we could generate in-house for free?
简直在发神经 你想要标志 It's madness. You want a LOGO?
我给你画 Here, just...
看 我刚为公司省了一万美金 There. I just saved this company ten thousand dollars.
你他妈开什么玩笑 小写字母 Are you fucking serious? Lowercase letters?
'推特' 小写't' '谷歌' 小写'g' Twitter, lowercase "t." Google, lowercase "g."
'脸书' 小写'f' Facebook lowercase "f".
硅谷那帮傻逼公司都他妈用小写字母 Every fucking company in the Valley has lowercase letters.
为什么 因为没有风险 Why? Because it's safe.
可是我们决不那么做 But we aren't going to do that.
我们要让楚伊画 We're gonna go with Chuy.
除非你们几个美国佬 Unless any of you gringos wants to go out there
敢告诉那个有三次暴力犯罪前科的人 and tell a guy with three assault convictions
我们不打算给他钱了 that we're not gonna give him the money we promised him.
我看也不敢 Hm? That's what I thought.
真是 可悲 I mean... God.
您还要继续享用芦笋吗 先生 Are you still enjoying your asparagus, sir?
我从来没有"享用"过它 I was never enjoying it.
我吃它是为了营养考虑 I only eat it for the nutrients.
你可以拿走了 You may take it.
该死 Oh, shit.
彼得 我不想让你不快 Peter, I don't want to upset you,
可是盖文·贝尔森刚走进来 but Gavin Belson just walked in.
他看到我们了吗 Does he see us?
我不知道 但他肯定知道你在这里 I don't know. He must know that you're here.
如果我躲去厕所 你觉得 If I scurry to the restroom, do you imagine he would...
彼得 Peter!
我不知道你也在这里 I didn't know you came here.
盖文 你好 Gavin. Hello.
见到你很高兴 Nice to see you.
见到你也是 And you, as well.
你好吗 How are you?
挺好 Well.
你呢 And you?
还不错 Not bad.
我刚从杰克逊霍尔回来 I just got back from Jackson Hole.
你去过吗 Have you been?
没去过 I have not.
不过我听说不错 But I hear good things.
你气色不错 最近在运动吗 You look well. Are you exercising?
我开始学普拉提了 I have begun to do Pilates.
我听说那还不错 Well... I hear that's good.
我很喜欢 I like it.
是嘛 Yes.
不好意思打扰你们用餐了 Well, I didn't mean to interrupt.
见到你很高兴 彼得 Nice to see you, Peter.
-再会 -好的 - Goodbye now. - OK.
对了 差点忘了 You know, I almost forgot.
我看到'魔笛手' I saw that Pied Piper
参加了'科技博客'的创业展会 is in the Start-Up Battlefield at TechCrunch Disrupt.
我备受启发 便给'科技博客'打了个电话 It inspired me to call TechCrunch
提出给他们做一场专题演讲 and offer to be their keynote speaker.
他们很乐意 They were quite accommodating.
尤其是当我说想通过此次演讲 Especially when I said that I'd make the event
揭秘'纽核力'的时候 the grand unveiling of Nucleus.
那我们展会时见了 So, I will see you all at the conference.
真不开心 This is displeasing.
我从来没见过他这么生气 I have never seen him so incensed.
你究竟在想什么 理查德 What the hell were you thinking, Richard?
居然没告诉我们 How could you not tell us
你参加了'科技博客'创业展会 you entered TechCrunch Disrupt?
我遇到你们之前就申请了 I applied before I even met you guys.
我没说是因为我打算退出 I wasn't gonna say anything because I was gonna withdraw.
-不 不能退出 -不能 为什么 - No, you're not. - I'm not? Why not?
就因为你 盖文·贝尔森 Because of you, Gavin Belson
要在创业展会发布'纽核力' is debuting Nucleus at TCD.
如果你退出了 感觉像彼得想躲盖文 If you pull out, it looks like Peter is running away from Gavin.
所以不管你愿不愿意 八周以后 So like it or not, you are presenting a live demo
你要做出个展示程序来 in front of the world in eight weeks.
什么的展示程序 A live demo of what?
我申请的时候提交过'魔笛手'的早期版本 I entered TCD with an early build of Pied Piper,
当时还是个音乐应用程序 when it was still just a music app.
抱歉 行政决议 我们不参加创业展会 No. Sorry. Executive decision: we are not doing TechCrunch.
那我来告诉你会有什么后果吧 OK. So let me just tell you what's gonna happen:
彼得不再支持你 Peter will pull all of his support
以后也不会注资 and pass on any further funding,
这你也清楚将是最严重的后果 which, as you know, is the most flaming signaling risk on earth.
你们会花光手头的钱 You'll burn through the rest of your runway,
没人给钱 你们就完蛋了 no one will step in, then you'll go bust.
我不明白 I don't get it.
彼得·格里高利不是该从公司利益出发吗 Doesn't Peter Gregory want what's best for the company?
我跟你说实话吧 Look. I'm going to be straight with you.
彼得·格里高利不在乎 Peter Gregory doesn't care.
-在乎什么 -你 - About...? - You.
等等 只有他还是我们 Wait. Just him or both of us?
你们所有人 整个'魔笛手' Any of you. Pied Piper.
好吧 Ok...
那他为什么支持我们 Uh, well, then why did he back us?
只是想激怒盖文·贝尔森吗 Does he just want to piss off Gavin Belson?
他花了两百万美元 He spent two hundred thousand
-就是为了... -这点钱不算什么 - dollars just to... - Yeah, that's nothing!
彼得可以花几百万美元只为恶心盖文 Peter would spend millions just to mildly annoy Gavin.
这就是亿万富翁 理查德 These are billionaires, Richard.
他们用来羞辱对方的钱 Humiliating each other is worth more to them
比我们一辈子挣的还要多 than we'll make in a lifetime.
我明白了 I see.
而你在劝说我 And you conveniently forgot to mention any of this
放弃那一千万美元的时候 when you were convincing me
又碰巧忘记了告诉我这一点 to turn down ten million dollars?
而我现在被夹在两个亿万富翁的 And now I'm in the middle of some pissing contest
无聊竞争中 between two billionaires.
平心而论 In fairness,
盖文能给你开价一千万 Gavin only offered you the ten million dollars
只是因为我们找到了你 because we started pursuing you...
但他开了这个价 莫妮卡 But he offered it to me, Monica!
他开了这个价 He offered it to me.
一千万美元啊 我却没有收 Ten million dollars and I didn't take it.
就因为在我激动紧张到吐的时候 Because you came to me when I was puking and freaking out
你对我说 彼得·格里高利对我有信心 and told me that Peter Gregory believed in me,
但事实上 他根本不在乎 when in reality, he didn't even give a flying fuck!
-理查德 -天啊 - Richard... - Oh, my God.
我拒绝那一千万美元 I didn't turn down ten million dollars
不是因为彼得·格里高利 莫妮卡 because of Peter Gregory, Monica!
我拒绝都是因为你 I turned it down because of you!
不管他多生气 However angry he is,
我都有他十分之一那么生气 I am one-tenth as angry.
因为我本可以拿到那一千万的十分之一 Because one of the ten million would've been mine.
-因为我有'魔笛手'... -我懂 - Because I... I own ten percent. - I know.
-十分之一的股份 -我懂你的意思 - Of Pied Piper... - I know!
是推的 It's push.
就算有五个月我觉得我们都搞不定 We didn't think we were going to get this thing done
何况我们现在只有两个月 when we had five months to do it. Now we have two?
同意 情况不太理想 不过我们只要 Granted, it's not ideal, but we're just gonna have to...
这他妈是什么 What the good fuck?
那是什么 画的是迪尼希吗 What is happening? Is that Dinesh?
那是自由女神像吗 Is that the Statue of Liberty?
而且...还插进去了 And it's... There's penetration.
你好啊 邻居 Hey, neighbor.
阿什利长高了啊 Ashley's getting big!
她看起来... 我们该怎么办 She looks... What do we do?
我不知道 把它涂掉 I don't know. Paint over it.
不 不 你不能把它涂掉 No, no, no. You can't paint over it.
这是街头涂鸦的法则 It's like the code of the streets.
否则你会为此挨枪子儿的 People get shot behind that.
-好极了 -你们觉得怎么样 - Oh, good. - Hey. So what do you guys think, man?
我觉得埃利希大概有些想法 I think Erlich had a few thoughts.
我要去... 你俩慢慢聊 So, I gotta... I'll let you...
首先我要说 Here's the headline:
这画有许多可取之处 there's a lot right with it.
很多元素都很棒 A lot of good stuff in there.
但我只是... But I just...
你觉得这样画合适吗 Do you think the piece is working?
比如 放在这里是不是有点过于写实了 I mean... Maybe it's a bit too graphic for the space?
怎么会 看看这幅画 No way. Look at it.
它描绘了拉丁裔是如何在美国争取公正的 It comments on the Latino struggle for justice in America.
而且就算不考虑它的象征意义 But even without all the symbolism,
它还能带来审美上的愉悦 it's just aesthetically pleasing.
没错 Yeah.
好吧 事实上 楚伊 All right, here's the real shit, Chuy.
我们那位优秀的程序员 Uh, you know, our prize coder,
他其实不是...拉丁裔 he's actually not... Latino.
什么 What?
事实上 他是巴基斯坦人 Yeah. Point of fact is, he's Pakistani.
老兄 你骗了我 Homes, you lied to me.
不 不 不 你以为他是拉丁裔 No, no, no. You thought he was Latino,
而我觉得如果反驳你会显得我种族歧视 and I thought I would be racist telling you, you were wrong.
得了吧 你怎么会这么想 Come on, man. Why would you think that?
这种想法才是真正的种族歧视 Thinking that, now that's racist.
在这个问题上我真是永远都赢不了 God, I can't win... with that.
楚伊 把迪尼希·丘格塔伊 Look, Chuy, painting a guy named Dinesh Chugtai
画成阿兹特克勇士并没有意义 as an Aztec warrior just doesn't make sense.
[阿兹特克 墨西哥古文明]
好吧 你知道吗 Yeah. You know what?
我觉得你说得对 老板 I think you might be right, boss.
太好了 那就... Great. That's...
太好了 那就改一下 so... perfect. So change that
不要画成 and then don't have him be fucking
他在肏自由的化身 the literal symbol of freedom.
其他方面你就随意吧 And then, whatever else you wanna do.
-没问题 -好的 - All right. - All right.
如果我早点知道 我们就可以 If I had known, we could have
在这一切发生之前撤销你的申请 withdrawn your application before any of this happened.
这也就是为什么 This is exactly why we
我们需要更明确的沟通 need to have clearer lines of communication.
我明白 贾里德 我明白 I know, Jared, I know.
我打算建立一种 Listen, I'd like to institute
叫作"敏捷开发"的管理体系 an organizational system called "Scrum."
"敏捷开发"是用来... Scrum is designed to...
好了 给你一个小时 开始 All right, you have one hour! Go!
不是 No.
也不是 就是霉味 No. Just musty.
怎么回事 Uhh, what's going on?
吉尔弗约尔跟我赌一百美元 Gilfoyle bet me a hundred bucks
我摸了这屋里一样东西 that if I touched one object in this room,
他只靠闻就能找到 he could find it just by sniffing.
你们过会儿再玩行吗 OK. Not now, please.
就得现在 我刚手淫过以提高注意力 It has to be now. I just masturbated to heighten my focus.
只能持续15分钟 I have a fifteen-minute refractory period.
我们还好多事没干呢 Uhh, well, we have a lot of work to get done
-不如先去干活 -别紧张 哥们 - so maybe we should do that instead, please. - Dude, relax, OK?
我们俩早上各创建了一整个模块 We each ripped through a full module this morning.
现在就是休息会儿 We're just taking a little break.
数字版权加密现在堪称完美 DRM is now a thing of beauty.
等等 你做的数字版权加密吗 Wait. You did DRM?
-是啊 -我也做的这个 - Yeah. - I did DRM.
你干嘛做这个 我说了版权加密我来做 Why did you do DRM? I said I would do DRM,
你负责错误处理 you would do error handling.
跟'错误'有关的一听就是你的分内事 Anything to do with "error" sounds like your whole vibe.
是 我每天都在处理你这种错误 Yeah, I handle errors like you every day.
敏捷开发 Scrum?
-好吧 就用敏捷开发 -敏捷开发 - Yes, scrum. - Scrum.
'规则过滤'下一项是'工作流程' So from "Rules based filtering" we got to "Workflow,"
这时任务卡就从'冷藏室' at which point that card is moved from the "Icebox"
移到了'项目进行中'这栏 into the "In progress" column and it stays there
等到能够'测试'时再移走 until it is ready for "Testing."
表格有助于可视化我们的工作进程 OK. This increases visibility into our team's progress.
先生们 这就叫'敏捷开发' And that, gentlemen, is scrum.
这就是我们未来八周的生活了 Welcome to the next eight weeks of our lives.
这现在就跟真正工作一样 This just became a job.
我把这些卡片 OK, so here are the cards
加在了消化容器这一章里 I'm adding under this epic for the ingestion engine.
一共有三组情节 And there are three stories here.
你们觉得每个情节大概要花多久时间 How long do we think each one will take?
不知道 谁在乎这些 大概四小时一个吧 I don't know. Who cares? Four hours apiece?
是啊 那是你吧 Yeah. Maybe for you.
我每顶任务最多花三小时 Each of those tasks would take me three max.
不是'任务' 是'情节' Not "Tasks," "Stories."
我想到个情节 不如你来吸我的蛋蛋吧 I've got a story, why don't you choke on my balls?
不如这样 Well, how about this?
你们每人拿一段情节去做 Why don't you each take one story, right...
我们看看到底谁说得对 ...and we'll see who's right?
你看出他的把戏了吧 You see what he's doing, right?
他想让我们互相竞争 好干得更快 He's trying to get us to compete so we work faster.
他以为会点基础心理学 He thinks this wall of Psych 101,
耍点MBA级的心理控制 MBA mind-control bullshit
就能激励我们了 is going to motivate us?
好吧 那就别竞争 Fine. Don't compete.
就按你们自己的步调来 Do them at whatever speed you like.
贾里德 Uh, Jared.
我了解他们 I know these guys.
我不觉得敏捷开发对他们管用 I really don't think scrum is gonna work for them.
你得相信这个系统 Just trust in the system.
所以我们就放轻松慢慢来是吧 So we're just going to work at a nice, leisurely pace, right?
当然 Sure.
那为什么你打字还更快了 Wait, why are you typing faster?
我没有 I'm not.
也可能我慢慢来也比你快 Maybe my leisurely pace is just a little faster than yours.
你个混蛋 Cock-sucker.
各位 你们去过房子前面吗 Guys? Have you been out front yet?
你们得去看眼 'Cause you might wanna come see this.
-不看了 -滚蛋 工作呢 - I'm good. - Fuck off, we're working.
这还真挺花心血的 Wow. This took a lot of work.
我都已经在笑了 I mean, I'm already smiling.
他还非让我再竖个大拇指吗 Did he really have to paint me giving the thumbs-up?
简直没来由的侮辱 It's gratuitous.
是吗 你觉得这部分才是侮辱吗 Really? That's the gratuitous part?
当然还有迪尼希的一柱擎天 Well, and Dinesh's shaft...
坏事 该死 Oh, no. Oh shit.
你俩谁是房主 Are one of you the homeowner?
是 我是 Yeah. I am.
不少人投诉过你们这个艺术品 We've had a number of complaints about your artwork here.
你们在屋里爱干什么干什么 Look, what you do inside the house is your own business...
-不不 我们没有... -没有 - Oh, no. We don't... We don't do that. - Oh, no!
那画的不就是你吗 右边那位 But that is you, is it not? The individual on the right?
是 Yeah.
你得把这个涂了 You're gonna need to paint over this.
这画的作者肯定不同意 他是拉丁裔的 Oh, I don't think the artist would like that, he's Latino.
-这不是种族歧视吧 -你问我干什么 - Was that racist? - Why are you asking me?
我其实问谁都行 但你的...种族 Oh. I mean, I could've asked anybody, but your... race...
这无关紧要 我有办法了 It doesn't matter. I have a solution.
把门打开 We put it up.
不放下了 就一直开着 We don't put it down. Leave it up.
别 别别 快关上 No, no, no. No, no, no! Close it!
不要 No...
看哪 上任房客留下来的 Look at this... left from the previous tenant.
难以置信 真不敢相信 Unbelievable. I can't believe
我以前怎么就没想起来进去看看呢 I didn't enter the garage until this point.
那不会是传说中的大麻吧 I mean, is that marijuanas?
我们要全部查封 We're gonna need to take those.
或者我们按兵不动 Or, we leave them and wait to see
设下埋伏等这犯罪分子自投罗网 if the criminal returns to the scene of the crime.
点个头呗 拜托了 What do you say, please?
那好 画我留着 一万刀我也留着 OK. So I keep the mural, and I keep the ten G's.
你有什么好处 What do you get?
我只希望等我换了新车库门之后 I just thought when I got a new garage door,
能再麻烦你来给我们画个新标志 maybe you could come and paint a new LOGO.
艺术性要高 Something just as artistic,
但别那么惊世骇俗 but maybe a little less challenging?
别掀开看 别碰那东西 Hey! Don't look under there. Get away from there!
画的不是我 That's not me.
跟你说实话吧 Um, just to be honest with you, like,
我真的真的真的需要你帮这个忙 I really, really, really need this.
我这是在你面前展示脆弱姿态 So... I'm trying to be vulnerable in front of you.
我不知道在这里这样做安不安全 I don't know. Is this a safe place?
你想怎么脆弱随便你 Look, you can be vulnerable, es?
安全你就别想了 But this ain't a safe place.
上周有个水暖工刚刚被捅了 A plumber got stabbed just last week,
就在你站的这个地方 right where you're standing.
什么 我的天 What?! Jesus Christ!
你 你为什么捅人家水暖工 What... Why would you stab a plumber?
好吧 反正我尽力了 All right. It was worth a try.
多谢了 楚伊 Thanks anyway, Chuy.
等等 你把画留下就行 Wait. Just go ahead and leave the mural.
很和我眼缘 I like looking at it.
而且 我对你们几个 And plus, I think I know
白人小子喜欢啥样的标志也有点数了 what kind of LOGO you white boys might like.
那太好了 多谢 楚伊 Uh, that's amazing. Thank you, Chuy!
-太谢谢了 -客气 哥们 - Uh, yeah. Appreciate it. - All right, man.
-还要来这套 -好吧 - Yes, one of those too. - All right.
-又完成一个 -你不是吧 - Another one down. - Did you really?
你还在忙活上一个呢 You still working on that last one?
慢慢来 不用急 迪尼希 Take your time. There's no rush, Dinesh.
你想了这个破主意是不是挺得意 Feeling pretty happy about yourself?
我为我们大家高兴 I'm pretty happy with ourself.
有人吗 Hello?
理查德在吗 Hey, is... is Richard here?
不知道 I don't know.
过来审查你的投资项目来了 Come to check up on your investment?
听着 你说得对 Listen, you were right.
我确实蒙了你一点点 I played you a little.
可能蒙得很惨 Maybe a lot.
我在找你交易时跟别人撞车了 I got caught up in making the deal.
好吗 我想说我当时只是在做我的本职工作 All right? And I would like to say I was just doing my job,
但是纳粹分子也拿这个当借口 but that's the excuse that the Nazis used,
所以我也不知道能不能说服你 so I'm not really sure how effective that one is.
你想说什么 Your point being?
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
但我不会道歉的是 But I'm also not sorry.
我之所以说服彼得给你投资 The reason I pushed Peter to seed you is,
就是因为我认为你的平台实在是太棒了 I think you have an unbelievably good platform.
比其他的压缩应用要好得多 Way better than the rest of his other compression plays,
当然我要道歉没告诉你这一点 which I apologize for not telling you about.
我知道让你们做好发布准备 Look, I know eight weeks isn't a lot of time
八周时间太短 to get this ready,
但我觉得你就是越火烧屁股 but I get the feeling you're the kind of guy that does better
表现就越好的那种人 when there's a fire lit under his ass.
你这火也太猛了点 It's a pretty big fire.
没错 It is.
而且话说回来 And by the way,
彼得投了这么多家公司 you're the only one of Peter's companies
只有你的公司我投了十分之一的年薪进去 that I've invested ten percent of my annual salary in.
所以我真心希望你能做好 So I really hope that you can do this.
这个 Uh, well, you know,
到时候就知道了 I guess we'll find out.
我刚才看见外面的标志了 I saw the LOGO out front.
我还真不知道已经画好了 I didn't know it was...
太棒 伙计们 来看看新标志 Cool. Guys, the new LOGO!
-能暂时休战吗 -你休我就休 - Can we please both go? - You go first.
我喜欢 I love it.
还是用了小写字母 Well, it's lowercase,
但至少不种族歧视 but at least it isn't racist.
不歧视吧 Is it?
这是楚伊·拉米雷兹画的 真不错 It's Chuy Ramirez? I'm impressed.
听说他今天有幅作品卖了50万美元 He sold a mural today for a half-million bucks.
不会是画在车库门上的吧 It wasn't on a garage door, was it?
你不觉得摆在办公区里有点太撩人了吗 You don't think it's too incendiary for the offices?
盖文 你今天的成就全因为你敢于挑战感性 Gavin, you got where you are by challenging sensibilities.
知我者你也 You know me well.
不过格调的确忒低了点 It is pretty raunchy, though.
片尾曲：新时代 Nuevos Tiempos
普韦布洛卡飞Pueblo Cafe（拉丁说唱歌手）2009年作品
本集开篇也用的这首歌曲的前奏。
这是新时代 Son nuevos tiempos aquí,
但我不能忘记: pero no puedo olvidar yo:
过去 El pasado
并且一切都很糟糕 y todo lo malo.
导演： 亚力克·博格
这是千年的新的一年，Es un nuevo ano del millenio,
编剧：杰西卡高
这是新时代Son nuevos tiempos aquí,
但我不能忘记:pero no puedo olvidar yo:
过去El pasado
并且一切都很糟糕。 y todo lo malo.