擦 我对灯发誓我删了张照片 Shit. I... I swear I deleted a picture,
但我回到相册里时 but when I clicked back to the album,
它又重新出现了 自己反删除了 the icon reappeared. It undeleted itself.
但我没法重现这一过程... But I can't get it to happen again, so...
理查德 我就随便问问 Hey, Richard, totally out of the blue,
你知道我们怎么能找出问题所在吗 do you know how we might be able to find that bug?
不 迪尼希 我们不会发布测试版 No, Dinesh. We are not releasing the beta.
我们一周前就整合了神经网络 We integrated the neural net a week ago.
平台到处都是漏洞 The platform is full of bugs.
所以才要测试啊 But that is what a beta is for.
你让现实世界中的人试用 You give it to people in the real world, they use it,
他们的试用能帮我们找出漏洞 and that is how we find the bugs.
理查德 雷德·霍夫曼说如果你不为你发布的 Richard, Reid Hoffman says if you're not mortally embarrassed
第一版的质量而羞愧难当 那你发布得太晚了 by the quality of your initial release, you've released too late.
我们已经羞愧难当了 Okay. We already are mortally embarrassed.
行了吧 我们搬进又搬出办公室 Okay? We move in and subsequently out of our offices,
主要是因为太贵 mainly because it was too expensive,
炒了两个CEO 转行做盒子 又转行回来 we fired two CEOs, we've pivoted to a box, and then pivoted back.
只要有一点差评我们就彻底玩完了 Any more bad word of mouth and we will be royally fucked.
吉尔弗约尔去哪了 Where's Gilfoyle?
吉尔弗约尔 删除事件又没发生 Hey, Gilfoyle, the deletion issue is ducking me again,
还有...我很抱歉 and... and, um, I'm sorry.
-理查德你好 -塔拉你好 - Oh, hey, Richard. - Hi, Tara.
我想跟你伙计说句话 I need to borrow your fella here for a second.
好 宝贝 我得走了 All right, babe, I gotta go.
等你检查设置界面时 Hey, when you check out the settings view,
你能告诉我提交按钮 can you let me know if there's something weird
是不是有点诡异 that happens with the submit button?
我之前质检的时候就觉得有点诡异 It was a little weird when I was doing QA.
行 等下 啥玩意儿的设置界面 Yeah, okay. Sorry, the... the settings view for...?
测试版的 The beta.
-啥的测试版 -'魔笛手' - The beta for...? - Pied Piper.
是个很有前途的压缩算法公司 可惜钱途不好 It's a promising compression company that doesn't pay very well.
-你把测试版发给她了 -对 - You sent her the beta? - I did.
你他妈搞笑吗 还没做好呢 Are you fucking insane? It's not ready.
四处都是漏洞 It's riddled with bugs.
是吗 我都测试一天了 Really? Cause I've been test driving it all day,
这玩意真他妈屌啊 and it's pretty fucking awesome.
-你真这么想 -当然真的 - Really? You think so? - Yeah. For real.
恭喜你 理查德 这货超级酷 Congratulations, Richard. It's so fucking cool.
等神经网络加进来就要牛逼上天了 And when the neural net kicks in, it's gonna be rad.
但我发现了个问题 But, you know, I did have one problem, though.
我在还原旧文件时 I tried to restore an old file
它要求我确认两次 and it asked me to confirm twice.
那是整合时候出了点差错 Yeah, well, that was a bad merge.
都这样好几个月了 我十秒就能修好 It's been there for months. I fixed it in ten seconds.
理查德 Richard...
也许吧 Maybe.
也许发布个公测 Yeah, maybe beta.
-你好 迪尼希 -塔拉 - Hi, Dinesh. - Tara.
第
三
季
第
七
集
硅
谷
本蓝光版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 用HDTV版调轴
等下 这不对啊 Wait, that can't be right.
巴赫头怎么能差这么多钱 How can Bachmanity still be so far in the hole?
原创翻译 双语字幕
■
仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆www.ZiMuZu.tv
看看大头卖的这些东西 Look at all this shit that Big Head is selling.
他房子里几乎所有东西都是租来的 He was renting virtually everything in the house.
■
翻译: 熊熊猫 elflife 不高兴童鞋 王二川
他的大炮也是租来了 He rented that cannon?
它只能用来当摆设 你的押金泡汤了 It was for display purposes only. So you forfeit your deposit.
翻译: 江湖人称王姑娘 Milkon 蓝光章鱼X
它是门炮 不开火还能干啥 It's a cannon. What's he supposed to do, not fire it?
校对: 呆熊猫 somehacker
条款就是这么说的 That was the provision.
那就这样吧 So that's it then, I guess.
大头真破产了 Big Head's really broke.
时间轴: 纸袋PPPPP 姜姜
不过他还年轻 他能挺过来 You know what? He's young. He'll get past it.
尼尔森不是唯一一个该担心的 Nelson is not the only one who should be worried.
后期: 污里海海
你们是合伙人 You were partners.
有道理 但在科技界搞垮一个公司 Fair point. But shuttering a company in the tech world
总监： 没用的傻熊猫
简直太寻常了 就像生殖器疱疹 is almost a rite of passage, like herpes simplex one.
刚开始又丑又丢人 At first, it's ugly and embarrassing
你自己看自己的小弟弟都觉得恶心 and you're disgusted by your own dick.
但过了一段时间以后 But after a while,
从长远角度来看 这不过是... in the larger scheme of things, you realize it's really--
巴赫曼先生 你的巴赫头是个无限公司 Mr. Bachmann, you structured Bachmanity as a general partnership.
然后银行里没钱的情况下 Then, with no money in the bank,
你在恶魔岛开了个百万美元的聚会 you threw a million-dollar luau on Alcatraz.
你要为此负责 You're on the hook for that.
就算宣告破产 And even declaring bankruptcy
都无法免除你的债务 isn't going to absolve you of these debts.
-破产 -不关我事了 祝你好运 - Bankruptcy? - It's none of my business. Good luck.
等等 你去哪儿 Wait, where are you going?
我们需要你 你可是我们的商务经理 We need you. You're our business manager.
这里没有商务可以经营了 There's no business remaining to manage.
日安 巴赫曼先生 Good day, Mr. Bachmann.
有好消息 他们说咱俩可以各留 Hey, good news. They said we can each keep
一发炮弹 你看 也不算一场空 one of the cannonballs, so not a total loss, right?
好了 我做了测试版试用注册页面 All right, so I've set up a sign-up page for the beta,
目前我们安全起见 尽量小范围 and we're gonna keep it small and secure,
所以每人只给十个邀请码份额 so that means we're limited to ten invite codes each to send out.
我的我已经想好了 I've already got my list.
都是个人私交 It's people that I know personally,
都是可以信赖的人 and, uh, people that I know I can trust.
每人只有十个 有点不好办 We only get ten each. This could be prickly.
不用给我了 我谁都不信赖 Well, I'm out. I don't trust anyone.
我三观的根基就是谁也别信 It's a huge part of my belief system.
可你把测试版发给塔拉了 You sent the beta to Tara.
的确 那有点交易性质 你要是想听 Yeah, there was a transactional nature to that exchange
-可以告诉你 -算了 - which I'll get into if you want. - Pass.
但那不是说我就信赖她 But it doesn't mean that I trust her,
更不要说信任别人了 and I certainly don't trust anyone else.
是吗 换句话说就是 你没朋友 Oh, in other words, you have no friends.
那是我刻意不交 按你择友 On principle. I could make what rises
那种低标准 我随时都能交到朋友 to your low standards of a friend any time I want.
说得好听 Sure you could.
吉尔弗约尔 你要是不用那十个邀请码 Gilfoyle, if you're not gonna use your ten invites,
-可以让给我和迪尼希吗 -尽管拿 - could Dinesh and I have them? - Sure. Knock yourselves out.
真丧 他都没朋友 Loser. He's got no friends.
玛利亚姆 西尔维娅 Okay... Miriam, Sylvia...
哦对 还有萨曼莎 差点忘记 Oh, Samantha! I almost forgot her.
其实…贾里德 他那十个邀请码都给你吧 You know, Jared, you can have all ten of Gilfoyle's invites.
-太感谢了 -没事 - Much appreciated. - Yeah.
莫妮卡 你好 Monica, hello.
你要发布测试版 还不给我邀请码 Did you honestly think that you could send me an email
你以为你给我发封邮件 telling me that you were
通知我一声就行了吗 launching the beta without sending me the beta?
给一个嘛 我等不及了 Come on. I'm dying to see it.
莫妮卡 出测试版的意义 Well, I think the whole point of it, Monica, is to get
就是要给中立的人试用 the beta into the hands of unbiased people
这样才能收到真实的意见 so they can give us an honest... feedback.
而且我的十个邀请码已经发完了 Besides, I... I just gave out my ten invites.
要是莫妮卡想看 Oh, if Monica wants an invite,
我可以匀给她一个邀请码 I could, like, squeeze her on my list.
-你确定吗 -没问题 - Are you sure? - Yeah, no problem.
那好吧 莫妮卡 今天你走运 Okay, Monica, well, you're in luck.
迪尼希说他的邀请码名额算给你一个 Dinesh has decided to give you one of his codes, so...
太棒了 我保证批评不会手下留情的 Great. I promise I'll find something terrible to say.
我粗略理了下 Okay, so I did a rough accounting
你的资产和债务 of your assets and liabilities.
贾里德 别这么看着我 直说 Jared, don't look at me like that. Just give it to me straight.
是这样 自购买之后 All right. Your house has appreciated
你的房子升值了 但如果现在出手 in value since you bought it, but if you sold it now
按房产网站的估值算 for what Zillow and Redfin think it's worth...
我还会负债50万 I'd still be half a million in the hole.
是的 这是坏消息 Now, that's the bad news.
-有好消息吗 -说不准 - Is there good news? - Well, it's unclear.
我回溯了你的记录 I... I went back through your records.
我得承认 最初是有点偷窥心作祟 Uh, at first, I'll admit a bit voyeuristically,
想看看钱都花到哪里去了 uh, to see where all of the money went,
然后发现 除了派对花销 and apart from the party expenses,
-那真是烧钱 -可不是 - which were staggering... - Yeah. Fuck, yeah.
还有一项引起了我的注意 But one number jumped out at me.
之前给你管账的人 从大头的和解金里 Now, whoever did your accounting earmarked almost 70 percent
拨了将近70%作税金 of Big Head's settlement money for taxes.
70%吗 Seventy percent?
就算在税洛阿尔托 我造的词 Even in Taxo-Alto, which I coined,
税率也只有这一半吧 钱去哪了 would be half that. Where did that money go?
这就是个价值六百万的问题了 Well, that is the six-million-dollar question.
我能猜得出 I may have the answer.
不好意思 你们要说我行为不当吗 I'm sorry. You're accusing me of impropriety?
你个花两万美金租了个 You, the man who spent $20,000
巨大的夏威夷提基图腾头雕的人 renting giant fiberglass tiki heads,
然后其中一个在运回租房途中 and $40,000 more when one of them was misplaced
不见了以后又花了四万块 on the way back to the rental house?
我跟你说过没丢 我知道它在哪 I told you it wasn't misplaced. I know exactly where it is.
就在海湾底 It's at the bottom of the bay.
我说你是贼是因为你从我们这偷钱 I called you a thief because you, sir, have stolen from us.
尼尔森 你肯定不相信这种鬼话 Nelson, come on. You can't possibly believe this.
-抱歉 -别跟他道歉 - Sorry. - Don't apologize to him.
-啊对 抱歉 -谢谢 - Oh, right. Sorry. - Thank you.
亚瑟你听我说 好好听着 Arthur, you listen to me, and you listen good.
每天都是四十多人打电话跟我要钱 I have people calling me 40 times a day asking for their money.
我都想把房子卖了把钱给他们 I even considered selling my house to pay them.
你现在就滚进你那破银行 So you are going to go in your little fucking piggy bank
把你从大头那偷的每一分钱 right now and pay back every fucking kopeck
都他妈给我还回来 不然的话 that you stole from Big Head, and if you don't,
我们可就要四处宣传 we're gonna take our little show on the road,
说不定还要讲给检察官听 perhaps perform it for a man named the D.A.
真荒谬 Ridiculous.
那好吧 Very well.
走着瞧 Game on.
我们走 大头 Let's go, Big Head.
等等 Wait.
我也许用不太传统的方法 I may have moved around some of your money in a way
移动了一些资金 that wasn't exactly conventional.
-把大头的钱都他妈还回来 -对 - Give me back Big Head's fucking money! - Yeah!
-抱歉抱歉 -不 你说得好 - Sorry. Sorry. - No, you did good.
不行 因为我没钱 I can't, because I don't have it.
互利
马克 有了个问题 Hey, Marc, we may have a problem.
-咋了 -我有个数据探测的朋友 What's up? Well, a buddy of mine at Datatrode sits next to a guy
说他旁边坐着的人刚拿到了'魔笛手'的测试邀请 who just got invited to Pied Piper's beta.
操 他们已经开始测试了 Shit. They're already in beta?
-该告诉盖文吗 -可别 Should I tell Gavin? Fuck no.
我们还得两三个月才做成呢 We're still two or three months out.
如果他听说'魔笛手'开始测试 Yeah, if he hears Pied Piper's already in beta,
相信我 他会抓狂的 trust me, he'll lose his shit.
好吧 如果有人提起 我对此毫不知情 Fine. But if it ever comes up, I didn't hear about this.
-什么时候收到的 -43分钟前 - And this came in when? - 43 minutes ago.
六分钟后就删除了 And deleted six minutes after that.
幸运的是 我安装的过滤 Fortunately, the filters, which I had installed, sir,
发现了相关的关键字 caught the relevant keywords.
我想亲自跟你谈 I decided to walk it to you personally.
一个雇员 An employee's withholding
隐瞒关于竞争对手的关键信息 critical information about a competitor.
这可以让他被解雇 This is a fireable offense.
你需要我把他找来吗 You want me to bring this guy in?
不 No.
如果有所行动的话 Acting on this would expose the fact
就会让人知道我们在阅读员工私人邮件 that we're reading employees' private emails,
会破坏我辛辛苦苦在'互利' destroying the spirit of trust and freedom to innovate
建立起来的信任和创新自由的精神 that I've worked so hard to build here at Hooli.
不过这让我很好奇 You know, it makes you wonder if the word Hooli
'互利'这两个字对这些人究竟有没有意义 has any meaning for these people whatsoever.
-我能做点什么吗 -能 - Is there anything I can do? - Yeah.
让我看看'魔笛手'的测试版 Get me a look at that Pied Piper beta.
我会想到办法的 I will figure out a way, sir.
终于呀 你他妈去哪了 Finally. Where the fuck have you--
-谢谢你的便车 凯文 -不客气 - Hey, thanks for the lift, Kevin. - Yeah, no worries.
凯文 这是迪尼希 我的一个同事 Oh, Kevin, this is Dinesh, one of my coworkers.
迪尼希 这是凯文 我们在菲尔咖啡店认识的 Dinesh, this is Kevin. We met at Phil's Coffee.
-我们现在是朋友了 对吧凯文 -对 - We're friends now. Isn't that right, Kevin? - Yeah.
好了朋友 我得去工作了 All right, my friend. I should get to work,
-谢谢你的便车 -不客气 - so thanks for the lift. - Yeah.
谢谢你的咖啡 Thanks for the coffees.
回头见 Catch ya later, my friend.
那是我朋友凯文 That was my friend, Kevin.
恭喜你 你有了个朋友 Congratulations. You now have one friend.
他还说登陆界面有问题 He also said there was a bug on the landing page.
-多严重 -不严重 - Well, how severe is it? - Not bad.
跟他说的别的问题比起来微不足道 Compared to the rest of what he said, it's nothing.
伙计们 你们还是听我跟你们说吧 Guys, uh, you might as well hear this from me.
我刚刚跟我的朋友 I just had a long talk
陶德·钱伯斯长谈了一番 about the beta with my friend, Todd Chambers.
Dropbox的那个 The Dropbox guy?
对 他是11号雇员 Yeah, he was employee number 11.
你为啥要发给他 他啥都讨厌 Why did you send it to him? He hates everything.
我以为他不会骗我 Well, because I thought he would be honest with me,
他确实没骗我 什么都告诉我了 and, um, and he was. Quite honest.
他说他在硅谷干了15年 He said that in the 15 years he's been working in the Valley,
这是他见过的最好的测试版软件 our beta was the best beta he's ever seen.
-好得多 -什么 真的吗 - By far. - What? Really?
我可不想在小鸡孵出来之前就数我们有多少蛋 I don't want to count our chickens before they hatch.
毕竟有3%的小鸡孵出来后是畸形或是已经死亡 I mean, three percent of hatchlings are born mutated or dead,
但是 咱真的可能会拥有一大窝的鸡仔 but we may have a healthy brood on our hands.
我问到的也是一样的回答 I'm getting the same reaction.
虽然有几个漏洞 I mean, a few bugs here and there,
但总体来说 他们都很喜欢 but overall, they love it.
这说不定就是我们的王牌呢 We might be holding pocket aces here.
太棒了 Awesome.
大家好啊 Hey, guys.
-你现在怎么样 -挺好的 - How you holding up? - Good, yeah.
我在思考大家给我的反馈意见 I mean, just trying to make sense of all the feedback.
你不能被他们的话给影响到 Well, you know, I guess you just can't let it get in your head.
-你难道不该说我不能太自满吗 -我说的什么 - Don't you mean go to my head? - What did I say?
你说的是 不能被影响到 感觉好像是说 You said, get in your head, like it's,
他们说的都是坏话 可并不是这样啊 like it's a bad thing, but it's not.
-这软件很好 大家都很喜欢 -真的吗 - It's great. People love it. - Really?
对啊 我自己也不敢相信 Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe it myself.
-大家都很激动呢 -那真是太棒了 - They're flipping out. - That's awesome. That...
不过你确定是你发给我的那个软件 And that's... that's for the beta that you sent me?
不啊 莫妮卡 那是我们不稀要的 No, Monica. It's for the other beta
另一个测试版软件 that we've got kicking around here.
我邮箱里满满的都是大家的反馈意见 I mean, I... I... I have an inbox full of raves here for the...
都很满意我们的上传速度 移动平台... upload performance, the mobile, the--
那...那界面呢 What about... what about the interface?
有没有人评价界面 Did people have any issues with that?
没有啊 怎么了 你... No, not at all. Why? Do...
你不满意我们的界面吗 Do you have any issues with the interface?
我...还没来得及看 I... I haven't actually had a chance to look at it yet.
你搞笑吗 你之前还因为没收到邀请骂了我 Are you serious? You've been sitting on the beta for a day
现在软件给你了 你这一天都没来得及看 after busting my balls about not getting an invite.
-太不厚道了你 -抱歉啊 - Pretty fuckin' lame. - Yeah. Sorry.
真不厚道 Yeah. Lame.
我哥们麦克斯·卡诺刚给我发了封邮件 I just got an email from my friend, Max Karnow.
他说听说我们的测试版很棒 能不能给他看一看 He says, I heard the beta's awesome. Can I get a look?
大家伙 咱可能要火起来了 Guys, I think we're starting to get some buzz.
也许咱们应该去找劳里谈谈 You know, maybe we should talk
把正式上市的日期给提前 to Laurie about moving up the official launch?
-你想提前上市 -对 我觉得我们准备好了 - You want to move it up? - Yeah, I think we're ready.
你能帮忙安排见面时间吗 I mean, do-- do you think you can set the meeting?
当然 我这就去跟劳里说 Yeah. Yeah, I'll... I'll go tell Laurie right now.
好的 Okay.
她到底是怎么回事 What was that about?
她的表现好奇怪啊 She's fucking weird.
理查德 如果你的朋友麦克斯·卡诺 Hey, Richard, um, if your friend Max Karnow
需要邀请函 我可以把他放到 needs an invite, you know, I could probably
-我的名单上来 -你确定吗 - squeeze him on my list. - Are you sure?
当然 只不过我得去掉我的一个朋友 Yeah. I'll have to freeze out one of my boys,
不过他们会明白的 but they'll get it.
把他的邮箱发给我吧 Just shoot me his email.
市政厅
这位罪犯近年来 The perpetrator has been
一直在偷客户的钱 losing money for other clients for years,
他骗了我们 还拿我们的钱去填别人的坑 was lying to us and funneling our money to said other clients,
也就是说 他坑了我们 therein, fucking us.
很抱歉 但这种事件并不罕见 I'm sorry to say this is not an uncommon occurrence.
等等 并不罕见 也就是说... Wait, it's not an uncommon...? So then it--
我明白了 Okay, got it.
不知道这样有没有帮助 So if it makes any difference,
我愿意为他争取减刑 I'd like to vie for a lesser sentence
只要他在赔偿完全款后 if after he makes full restitution he would write
能再写封令人信服的公开道歉信 最好是... a very convincing public apology, preferably--
巴赫曼先生 Mr. Bachmann,
这样的官司要花很多钱 也需要很长时间 an action like this is very expensive and time-consuming,
就像你之前说的 即使你获胜 and as you've already pointed out, even if you do prevail,
钱也已经没了 除非你能得到一封法院指令 the money is gone, unless you win a court order
允许你去挖空别的无辜受害者的银行账户 allowing you to raid other innocent people's bank accounts,
这真的很难 and that's a tough sell,
即使是换一个更令人同情的原告 even for a plaintiff who's more, uh, sympathetic.
你是说我们不值得同情吗 Are you calling us unsympathetic?
你刚办了场百万派对 You just threw a million-dollar party.
波利尼西亚主题 还原度非常高 A tasteful Polynesian affair, culturally accurate,
我相信你也会喜欢的 which I'm sure you would appreciate,
并且因为这个罪犯害得我们身无分文 and one that we can no longer pay for
而没法为这派对买单 because this criminal has left us flat broke.
这个你说得也不对 你持有 Also not true. You have a large stake
"魔笛手"公司很大一部分股份 in a company called Pied Piper.
对 但我不能卖了我在 Yes, but I... I can't sell my shares
"魔笛手"的股份 现在不行 at Pied Piper. Not now.
无法还清你的未偿还债务吗 Wouldn't it cover your outstanding debts?
当然可以 但股份潜在价值可能有数十亿 Of course. But they could potentially be worth billions.
是 那你觉得 Yes, and how do you see
被有钱的科技从业者赶出公司的人 that playing to people who are being priced out
拿着股份做了什么呢 of their homes by rich tech people?
你们有谁当过陪审员吗 Have either of you been on a jury?
当然没有 我从来都是逃避义务 No, of course not. I always get out of it.
罚款不多 非常公道 The fines are very reasonable.
你难道不是直接扔了罚单吗 You don't just throw those things away?
先生们 我来告诉你们我看到了什么 Gentlemen, let me tell you what I see.
我看到的是两个健全有能力的年轻白人 I see two able-bodied, entitled young white men
幸运地得到了一笔 who lucked into more money
比大多数人五辈子见过的还多的钱 than most people see in five lifetimes,
如果钱没被偷走 and who, if they hadn't had their millions stolen,
他们会马上把钱挥霍到更多 would have promptly squandered them on more things like
诸如挪动游泳池和弄丢提基神像的事情上 relocated swimming pools and lost tiki heads.
不是弄丢了 It's not lost.
我十分清楚那东西在哪 在海湾里 I know exactly where it is. It's in the bay.
而且如果你们的海岸警卫队能管点用的话 And if your Coast Guard would be a little more helpful,
我们现在可能已经把它捞上来了 we probably could have dragged it out of there by now.
巴克曼先生 Mr. Bachmann,
你把欠酒席承办商和调酒师的钱还上 you pay those caterers and bartenders you owe money to
不然的话 我向你保证 我会提起公诉 or I assure you, that, I will prosecute.
丘格塔伊先生 我需要 Mr. Chugtai, I am gonna need
你名单上所有人的联系电话 all the phone numbers of the people on your list.
要干嘛 Why?
我要给每个参与公测的人打电话 问好 I'm just calling everybody that was on the beta and saying hi
道谢 然后 and a quick thank you, and then a...
再问几个后续的问题 just a couple of follow-up questions.
我看还是算了吧 Yeah... I don't think so.
什么 什么意思 What do... what do you mean?
我意思是 你替他们想想 Well, I mean, put yourself in their shoes.
他们可能正在塔霍湖滑雪 They're, like, snowboarding in Tahoe
或者正在某个辣妹身上埋头苦干 or, like, banging some smokin' chick,
然后这个该死的宅男打来电话 and then this fuckin' nerd calls
说想谈谈他的应用 and he wants to talk about his app.
-多扫兴 -等下 你的人现在在哪 - Buzz-kill. - Wait. Your boys are where?
那些只是假设 Well, those are just hypotheticals.
我的人在哪都有可能 我不会监视我的人 I mean, my boys could be anywhere. I don't keep track of my boys.
其实 我们可以监视 Actually, we can.
每个活跃用户的IP地址和GPS坐标我们都有 We have the IP address and GPS coordinates for every active user,
所以我们可以查出你们的人都在哪 so we can figure out just where your boys are at.
你加了上帝视角吗 什么时候干的 Um, you added a god-view? When did you do that?
就在给塔拉之前 我告诉过你谁都别相信 Right before I gave it to Tara. I told you, trust no one.
这招太酷了 干得漂亮 吉尔弗约尔 Oh, that is very cool. Nice work, Gilfoyle.
而且我们可以把每个用户隔离开来 And we can isolate each of our users.
拿迪尼希的人来说吧 Dinesh's, for example...
在我们侵犯别人的隐私时 Before we invade people's privacy,
需要好好讨论一下道德问题 there is a conversation about ethics.
为什么你的这五个用户都是在这个地址 Why is it that five of your users show up at this address?
这是出故障了 Oh, it's buggy.
我们要不要测试一下这个上帝视角 Should we beta test the god-view?
只要你配合我乐意奉陪 I'm happy to drag this out as long as you want to.
好吧 Fine.
我之前填不满我的名单 I was having trouble filling up my list,
所以我假造了几个人 so I made up a few people.
人们是会创造出 Well, people do create
假想的朋友来满足自己的情感需求 imaginary friends to meet their emotional needs.
我小的时候 When I was little,
曾经假装我和哈丽特·塔布曼共处一室 I used to pretend that I shared a room with Harriet Tubman
我们总是在谋划着惊天大逃亡 and we were always planning our big escape.
等等 这是谁 Wait. Who is this,
为什么他们在互利的园区内 and why are they at the Hooli campus?
什么 你把测试版给给傻逼互利的人了吗 What? Did you give the beta to someone at fucking Hooli?
-马克斯·卡诺是谁 -那可不是我朋友 - Who's Max Karnow? - Oh! That's not one of my friends.
我没朋友 通过理查德认识的 I have no friends. Got him from Richard.
不 不 肯定有问题 No. No, th-- that can't be right.
我看了亨德里克斯的脸书主页 I went to Hendricks' Facebook page.
发现他一个朋友住在帕洛阿尔托附近 I found a friend of his that lived near Palo Alto,
搜了他的名字 发现他也在科技行业 searched his name and found that he was in the tech business.
然后想出一个妙计 I then came up with a great idea to dummy up
用他的名字注册了个假邮箱 an email account in his name,
给亨德里克斯发了试用申请 大功告成 sent a beta request to Hendricks, and then voila.
-不可思议 -这就是我的手艺 - That's incredible. - Yes, well, it is my craft.
我认为安保人员的工作 You see, I think security detail
就像创造伟大的爵士乐 is like creating great jazz where you can all--
你说什么呢 我在说公测 What are you talk-- I'm talking about the beta.
你他妈的能不能闭嘴 Will you shut the fuck up?!
我操 真不错 Fuck, this is good.
从注册流程到移动应用都无缝衔接 Their sign-up flow, their mobile app, it's just seamless.
他们是怎么办到的 How are they doing this?!
我可以专门派人调查 先生 I can put a team on that, sir.
如果你想知道他们如何 If you want to know how they--
你怎么什么都说 Why are you so high-maintenance?
-您要我回答吗 -不 真是服了 - Do you want me to answer that, sir? - No! Goddamn it!
你太黏人了 You're so needy!
我刚和真的马克斯·卡诺通过话 Okay, I just talked to the real Max Karnow,
他完全不知道测试的事 and he had no idea about the beta.
很显然 对方是'互利'的间谍 Wow, um, clearly we're dealing with a Hooli spy here.
怎么办 So what do we do?
肯定是要关掉他的账号了 I mean, shut down his account, obviously.
马上 抱歉 迪尼希 Yeah. On it. Sorry, Dinesh.
你又少了个假朋友 You will now have one less fake friend.
等等 吉尔弗约尔 我们难道只有 Wait, Gilfoyle. Is shutting down this guy's account
关掉这个人的账号这么点本事吗 really the worst thing we can think of to do to him?
天呐 我真是不动脑子 Oh, my God. Where the fuck is my head?
听候指令 Stand by.
看他们的压缩率 Look at their compression ratios.
上传的文件越多 效果越好 The more files uploaded, the better they get?
-我们能做到吗 -不行 - Are we doing that? - No. Not really.
肯定是机器学习优化过程 That's gotta be some kind of machine learning optimization.
-可能是神经网 -那也给我来一个 - Maybe a neural net? - Well, then I want that.
把它加到我们平台上 马上 You need to put that into our platform. Now.
我不确定我们现有的资源 I'm not even sure we have the resources here
能否支持构建这样的平台 to engineer something like that.
即便可以 And even if we did,
平台的设计也是不兼容的 our platform isn't designed to accommodate it.
你说的可是彻底重建 You're talking about a ground-up rebuild.
好 就这么办 在市场上打败他们 Great. So do that. And beat them to market.
这不可能 That's impossible.
你现在可是在'互利' 马克 You're at Hooli now, Marc.
以防你不知道 在'互利' In case you didn't know, here at Hooli,
我们把不可能变为可能 we make the impossible possible.
如果我说我要 So if I say I need...
-这他妈怎么回事 -糟糕 - What the fuck is happening? - Oh, shit!
像是压缩包炸弹 他们一定发现我们了 It looks like a zip bomb. They must know it's us.
-硬盘废了 -这是我的个人笔记本 - That hard drive is fucked. - This is my personal laptop.
你在个人电脑上运行了偷来的测试软件 You opened a stolen beta on your personal computer?
对 我还把它装我手机上了 Yes. And I installed it on my phone.
糟糕 这能毁了整个系统 Shit. It could fry the entire system.
-切断全楼供电 -不 盖文 - Cut the power to the building! - No, Gavin.
这只针对你的账号 It's isolated to your user account,
所以只是你的笔记本和手机 so it's just your laptop and your phone.
对其他网络没有影响 It has no impact on the rest of the network.
你不懂 你们屁都不懂 谁都不懂 You don't know that. You don't know shit. None of you do!
你们连亨德里克斯有多大本事都不知道 You don't even know what Hendricks is capable of.
切断全楼供电 切断全楼供电 Cut the power to the building! Cut the power to the building!
就是这样 And that's that.
-现在 删除用户 -棒 - And now... delete user. - Nice.
等等 那是莫妮卡吗 她终于打开了 Wait, is that-- is that Monica? She finally opened it.
有点奇怪 Oh, yeah. Well, that's odd.
这显示她昨天就使用了 It says here that she started using it yesterday.
她撒谎 她为什么骗我们没用测试版 Wait, so she lied? Why would she lie about using the beta?
是啊 为什么迪尼希要骗我们有朋友 Yeah, why would Dinesh lie about having friends?
我和塔拉的关系完全开放 开心就好 Why would Tara lie to me about fucking other guys
就算她和别的男人上床我也不介意 when we have a totally open and hedonistic relationship
可她为什么还要骗我 that allows for behavior like that?
因为人们喜欢撒谎 理查德 Because people like to lie, Richard.
这是一切人反对一切人的战争 It's a war of all against all.
人类的历史就是一部血泪史 The history of humanity is a book written in blood.
我们只不过是坑中的野兽 We're all just animals in a pit.
-真悲伤 -吉尔弗约尔有点屌 - I feel very sad. - Fucking Gilfoyle.
停停 你们在干嘛 回去工作 No, no. What are you doing? Get back to work.
工什么作 你把电脑电源都切断了 On what? You powered down all the computers.
用笔记本 手机写代码 截止日期摆着呢 Use a notepad. Code on your phone. We have a deadline here.
不 盖文 你有截止日期 No, Gavin, you have a deadline.
我们退出 一开始我们就该退出了 We quit, like we should have done the first time.
什么一开始 你们在说什么 What first time? What are you talking about?
我们曾是'纽核力'的员工在这间办公室工作 We both worked at Nucleus right here in this room.
你连招呼都不打 就把我们解雇了 Yeah, before you fired us and rehired us
又重新聘回来做同一个项目 to do the exact same thing without ever noticing.
我结婚的时候邀请过你 盖文 I invited you to my wedding, Gavin.
为什么 Why?
我们的核心工程师走了 We just lost our key engineers.
现在我们要怎么办 What the hell do we do now?
在我们想到解决办法之前 No one leaves this room
不允许任何人离开这里 until we figure it out.
谢谢你送我回来 Thanks for the lift.
斯蒂夫的家位置很偏 各种不方便 Steve's place is pretty far away from everything,
但他肯让我做免费的沙发客 所以... but he's letting me stay on his couch for free, so...
而我本来应该靠你吃饭才对 And you were supposed to be my meal ticket.
是啊 Yeah.
等等 CJ给我打过电话 Hold on. CJ called.
我打电话来是想让你知道 Hey, uh, just wanted to let you know
我正在跟进一个非常有意思的新案子 about a great new story I'm chasing.
关于两名太过放纵的年轻企业家的 It's a cautionary tale of two young entrepreneurs
警世寓言 who flew too close to the sun.
显然在损失百万巨款之际 I mean, apparently in the midst of losing millions,
他们还举办了一场无力负担的豪华派对 they threw a huge party they couldn't afford.
我找了两名调酒师和一名酒席承办人谈话 I talked to two bartenders and a caterer
你宴会当晚都聘请了他们 who worked your party the other night.
而他们都没收到工资 给我回电话 None of them have been paid. Call me.
看来我们用最后一点钱收购了个博客 Well, it appears we spent our last dime acquiring a tech blog
这个科技博客正在报道咱俩的糗事 whose chief focus is chronicling our demise.
杨靖 And Jian-Yang...
埃利希·巴赫曼 你的冰箱在用吗 Erlich Bachmann, is your refrigerator running?
我是麦克·亨特 This is Mike Hunt.
到了 右边这个就是 Oh, here, here it is on the right.
谢谢 你确定那两枚加农炮炮弹 Thanks, man. Hey, uh, are you sure you're cool
都给我没问题吗 with me taking both cannonballs?
-当然 -谢谢 搭档 - I'm sure. - Thanks, partner.
我可以的 I got it.
我知道你撒谎了 I know you lied.
-抱歉 -搞什么啊 - Sorry. - What the fuck?
-你没事吧 -没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
你怎么知道我在这里 How the hell did you know that I was here?
我们可以监控测试版本 Well, we have god-view on the beta,
我看到你出了办公室到了这里 and I saw you leave your office and come here.
所以你跟踪了我 So you're stalking me?
莫妮卡 我知道你撒谎说自己没有用测试版 Look, Monica, I know you're lying about not using the beta,
所以为什么你没有给我反馈意见 so why haven't I heard from you?
-理查德 -不 没关系的 - Richard... - No, it's okay.
如果你不喜欢 你可以直接说 If you don't like it, you can say it.
大家都喜欢 所以一个对立意见我能接受的 Everybody loves it, so I think I can handle one negative review.
-好吧 我不喜欢 -真的吗 - Fine. I don't like it. - Really?
你是认真的吗 每个人都说喜欢 Are you serious? Everybody else loves it.
理查德 这是我这辈子最希望喜欢的东西 I've never wanted to like something more in my life, Richard.
-可我就是不喜欢 -好吧 - I just... I don't. - Okay.
准确来说哪个部分你不喜欢 What specifically do you not like about it?
准确来说 Specifically?
全部 All of it.
并不是用户体验或者设计 I mean, it's not, it's not the UX or the design
或者别的什么你能改进的东西 or anything that you can tweak.
是整体特别像工程师做出来的东西 It's just the whole thing feels engineered.
好 这有道理 因为我是工程师 Okay. Well, that might make sense because, um, I'm an engineer.
你现在收到的好评如潮 Look, you've gotten overwhelmingly positive feedback.
这个版本非常稳定 而且你没钱了 The build is incredibly stable, and you're out of money.
所以如果你觉得可以了 So if you think it's ready,
你就上线 然后解锁其余三百万资金 you should launch and unlock the next three million.
莫妮卡 我非常重视你的意见 Look, Monica, I... I value your opinion,
而你是唯一一个说不喜欢的人 and you're the one that doesn't like it,
所以我也不知道了 so I don't know.
理查德 Richard, look...
企业沟通协作平台
-我拒掉了'裙带' -真的吗 - I passed on Slack. - Really?
我没告诉劳里 她大概会开除我 I never told Laurie. She'd probably fire me
如果她知道的话 但是我曾经有机会 if she knew, but I had a chance to buy
白拿'裙带'的五分之一股权 却放弃了 20 percent of Slack for nothing, and I passed.
我不明白 我到现在都不懂 I didn't get it. I still don't.
到底是个什么公司 是电邮 还是聊天室 I mean, what is it? Is it email? Is it a chat room?
原来这是个价值30亿美元的公司 Turns out the answer is it's a three billion dollar company.
但这就是我们的工作最坑的地方 But that's the fucked up thing about what we do.
有时候我们的观点是错的 Sometimes our opinion is wrong.
无论某个事物多么优秀 And no matter how good something is,
也总会有人看不穿它的价值 there's always gonna be someone who doesn't get it.
很不幸 那个看不穿'魔笛手'的人是我 And unfortunately, with Pied Piper, it's me.
一个星期前 Um, a week ago,
我还担心谁都不喜欢这个测试版 I was worried about releasing a beta no one would like.
我只是有点失望竟然是你不喜欢 I'm just bummed that you're the one that doesn't like it.
所以你不能总是被别人的意见影响 Which is why you can't listen to anyone else.
如果你对这个产品有信心 If you believe in something,
那就不要因为别人的评价而退缩 包括我 don't let anyone talk you out of it, including me.
彼得·格里高利总是说 Peter Gregory always said,
应该投资的不是产品 而是人 Don't invest in products; invest in people.
我投资的是你 I invested in you,
如果你认为准备好了 and if you think it's ready to go,
那我就去找劳里极力争取 I will go to Laurie and fight like hell for it.
所以 你想怎么做 So, what do you want to do?
恭喜各位 Congratulations, everyone.
真是不敢相信 Yeah, I can't believe it.
我们真的 终于 发布了 We're actually, finally, launching.
没错 在周二 上午9点 Yes. Tuesday, 9:00 A.M.
拍肩鼓励 拍肩鼓励 Pats on the back. Pats on the back.
先生们 我刚刚想起我忘了上大号了 Gentlemen, I just realized I've forgotten to take a shit.
所以 我们老宅见 So, uh, I'll see you back at the old homestead.
好 Okay.
劳里 Laurie.
我有一个生意上的提议 想和你讨论一下 I have a business proposition I'd like to discuss with you.
是关于我在'魔笛手'的股份的 It's about my shares in Pied Piper.
好了 还有5分钟就发布了 Okay, T minus five minutes.
迪尼希 你不会还在除错吧 Dinesh, are you still seriously squashing bugs?
也不是 我累得快死了 Not really. I'm so fucking tired,
新犯的错可能比揪出来的都多 I'm creating more than I'm fixing.
吉尔弗约尔哪去了 Where the fuck is Gilfoyle?
我真的很舍不得 This isn't easy for me to do.
你真的很给力 老伙计 You served me well, old friend.
但是现在我们要转移到云端了 But we're transferring to AWS now,
恐怕你没法跟着去了 and I'm afraid you can't come.
还说我可悲 Oh, I'm pathetic?
我宁可和一堆假用户当朋友 I'd rather have a bunch of fake friends
也不想和一个铁盒子称兄道弟 than be best friends with a fucking metal box.
你们俩难道看不出来吗 Can't you two see?
你们是对方最好的朋友 You're each other's best friends.
玩蛋去 贾里德 Fuck you, Jared.
没错 说着了 Yeah. Jinx.
你们应该是朋友的 You owe each other a friendship.
还有一分钟 我了个天 One minute. Holy shit.
我的天 Holy shit.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
-喂 -是我 CJ - Hello? - Hey, it's CJ.
我刚刚和在你派对上工作的人联系过了 Uh, I just heard from the folks that worked your party.
-然后呢 -结果他们都全额拿到了钱 - And? - And it turns out they were paid in full.
所以显然我应该向你道歉 我很难过 So apparently I owe you an apology, and I feel bad.
但绝对没有我难过 这我可以保证 Not as bad as I feel, I can assure you.
我这边有别的电话 Yeah, I'm getting another call.
哪位 Hello?
埃利希·巴赫曼 Erlich Bachmann,
我是你老母 this is your mom,
我没有你这样的熊孩子 and you are not my baby.
别闹 杨靖 现在别闹 回你的房间去 Not now, Jian-Yang! Not now! Go back into your room!
-抱歉 -没事 - Sorry. - It's okay.
这一刻终于来了 埃利希 Here we are, Erlich.
乔布斯和沃兹 沃兹和乔布斯 Jobs and Woz, Woz and Jobs.
我们成功了 你和我 一辈子好伙伴 I mean, we did it. You and me, man, forever.
好吧 All right.
理查德 我头一回错得这么高兴 Richard, never been more excited to be proven wrong.
是啊 准备好接受改变人生的时刻吧 Yeah, well, get ready for your lives to change forever.
5 Five...
4 3 2 1 ...four, three, two, one.