咖啡 Coffee.
- 谢了 - 卡布奇诺 - Thank you. - Cappuccino.
热呼呼的肉桂苹果茶给摩妮卡 And a nice hot cider for Monica.
谢谢 Aw, thank you.
- 瑞秋 - 怎么？ - Rach? - Yeah?
我的肉桂棒怎么有橡皮擦？ Why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?
哦 Oh.
喔 Oh, heh.
难怪 That's why.
对不起 Sorry.
钱德？ Chandler?
泰德•拉克小姐 你今天好漂亮 Miss Tedlock, you're looking lovely today.
你袖子的长度搭起来很好看 May I say that is a very flattering sleeve length on you?
当然 Yes.
对 卡斯力克先生要你在下班前去他办公室 Well, Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
如果是有关恶作剧的事 我跟那一点也没关系 Oh, listen, if this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them.
跟我无关 真的 Really, nothing at all. Really.
无关 Nothing.
各位 嘿 Hey, you guys. You guys.
钱德要来了 他说有个天大的消息 Chandler's coming, and he says he has this incredible news.
所以等他到了 我们要假装… So when he gets here, let's all act like, you know...
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
算了 一定会很棒的 Never mind. But it was gonna be really good.
怎么回事？ What's going on? What's up?
今天还是照常的工作 It's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers...
而我老板告诉我 ...and Big Al calls me into his office...
他要升我当报表监督 ...and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
- 那真是太好了 - 恭喜 - That is great! - Congratulations.
于是我辞职了 So I quit.
为什么？ Why?
为什么？这只是个暂时性的工作 Why? This was supposed to be a temp job.
钱德 你在那工作5年了 Yeah, Chandler, you've been there for five years.
我知道 但如果我接受升职 I know, but if I took it this...
那就表示我就是要干这行 ...it'd be like admitting that this is what I actually do.
那有加薪吗？ So was it a lot more money?
那不重要 我只是不想成为 Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys...
那种加班到12点 担心周网量的人 ...that's in his office until 12:00 at night worrying about the WENUS.
"周网量"？ "The WENUS"?
每周预估网路用量系统 那是报表名词 Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term.
喔 是这样啊 Oh, that WENUS.
那你打算怎么办？ So, what are you gonna do?
我不知道自己有何打算 I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know.
但在那公司我肯定想不出来 I'm not gonna figure it out working there.
我有你能做的事 Oh! I have something you can do.
我有个新按摩客户叫史提夫 I have this new massage client. Steve.
总之 他要开一间餐厅 Anyway, um, he's opening up a restaurant...
而他要找一个主厨 ...and he's looking for a head chef.
嗨 我在这 Um, hi there.
嗨 Hi.
我知道 你是厨师 我原先也是想到你 Oh, yeah, I know. You're a chef, I know, and I thought of you first.
但现在需要工作的是钱德 所以… But, um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so...
对 我只是没有很多当厨师的经验 Yeah, I just don't have a lot of chefing experience.
除非那只是卖土司的 Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
- 怎样？ - 他要找什么厨师？ - Yeah. Yeah. - Well, what kind of food is he looking for?
他想做广泛的尝试 He wants to do something eclectic, so he's looking for someone...
他想找个人为他设计整份菜单 ...who can, you know, create the entire menu.
- 天啊 - 我知道 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, I know.
所以你觉得呢？ So, what do you think?
谢了 菲比 但我不适合当厨师 Thanks, Pheeb. I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
好吧 Okay.
喔 摩妮卡 你猜怎么着？ Oh, Monica. Guess what?
我穿这衬衫有激突吗？ Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
没有 但别担心 我很确定它们还在 No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.
你要去哪里 大帅哥？ Where you going, Mr. Suit-ey Man?
我约了罗柏特•彼曼博士 Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pilman...
职业生涯加油顾问师 ...career counselor-a-go-go.
加油是我自己加的啦 I added the "a-go-go."
职业生涯顾问师？ Career counselor?
你们都知道自己的人生方向 Hey, you guys all know what you want to do.
我不知道 I don't.
在客厅的你们 都知道自己的人生方向 Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do.
你们有目标有梦想 You know, you have goals. You have dreams.
我没有梦想 I don't have a dream.
较不知名的 "我没有梦想" 演说 Ah, the lesser known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.
我爱我的人生… Oh, I love my life. I love my life.
"布莱恩的歌" Brian's Song.
会面很顺利？ The meeting with that guy went great?
很顺利 他带我参观餐厅的地点 So great. He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be.
在第十街上 It's this cute little place on 10th Street.
地方不大不小 刚刚好 It's not too big, not too small. It's just right.
那之前的屋主是金发又有养熊吗？ Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears?
我周一晚上要为他掌厨 有点像试镜一样 So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. Kind of like an audition.
菲比 他希望你去 那很好 And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me.
你可以发出好吃的声音 Because you can make yummy noises.
- 你要做什么？ - 好吃的声音 - What are you gonna make? - Yummy noises.
摩妮卡 那你要煮什么？ And, Monica, what are you gonna make?
我不知道 这机会太棒了 I don't know. I don't know. It's just gotta be so great.
我知道你要煮什么了 我知道 Oh! I know what you can make. I know.
你应该煮那个东西 Oh, you should make that thing, you know, with the stuff.
你知道那个东西吗？ You know that thing with the stuff?
好吧 我不知道 Okay, I don't know.
有人知道这附近有什么地方好约会吗？ Hey, guys, anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood?
东尼餐厅如何？假如你能吃完32盎司的牛排就免费喔 Uh, how about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
好吧 Okay. Ahem.
有人知道什么好地方吗？如果不是跟美洲豹约会的话 Hey, does anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
- 你要跟谁约会？ - 昆虫小姐吗？ - Who are you going out with? - Oh, is this the bug lady?
"我爱你 罗斯" "I love you, Ross."
她的名字是西莉雅 她不是昆虫小姐 Her name is Celia. She's not a bug lady.
她是昆虫馆的馆长 She's curator of insects at the museum.
你们打算做什么？ So, what are you guys gonna do?
去吃晚餐 然后带她回我家 Well, I just thought we'd go to dinner, then bring her back to my place...
介绍她认识我的猴子 ...and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
他说的可不是隐喻 And he's not speaking metaphorically.
- 所以回到你的住处 - 嗯 - So back to your place? - Uh-huh.
你是不是想或许… ？ You thinking maybe, heh-heh?
我不知道能不能… Ahem, well, I don't know, heh-heh.
我是希望能不能… I'm hoping heh-heh.
我告诉你 那猴子能迷倒女人 I'm telling you, that monkey's a chick magnet.
她一见到他那可爱的脸 一切就会搞定 She's gonna one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
- 啊 - 西莉雅 别担心 - Aah! - Celia, don't worry.
他不会伤害你 你要哄他 Celia, he's not gonna hurt you. Soothing tones, Celia, soothing tones.
- 喔 真的很对不起 - 啊 - Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - Aah!
- 来 马塞尔 - 我受不了了 - Here, here. Marcel? Marcel? - I can't stand this.
- 他把爪子伸进… - 好 没事了 - He's got his claws on my... - Yeah, all right.
好了 试试这鲑鱼慕思 Okay, try this salmon mousse.
- 很好 - 是吗？ - Mm. Good. - Yeah?
比其他的鲑鱼慕思好吃吗？ Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
这比较稠 It's creamier.
是吗？那是比较好吗？ Yeah? Well, is that better?
我不知道 我们说的是剁碎的鱼 摩妮卡 I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica.
我只是很开心我没有吐出来 I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, you know?
天啊 你怎么了？ God, what happened to you?
8个半钟头的性向测验 Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests...
智力测验和人格测验 结果我知道什么？ ...intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn?
"你很适合 在大型跨国企业…" "You're ideally suited for a career in data processing...
"做资料分析" ...for a large multi-national corporation."
太好了 那你早就会做了 That's so great, because you already know how to do that.
你能相信吗？ Can you believe it?
我看起来不像能成就酷事的人吗？ Don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool?
我总是想像自己能够做点… You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...
什么的 Something.
钱德 我了解… Oh, Chandler, I know, I know.
嘿 你这衬衫会激突耶 Oh, hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt.
或许这能让你开心点 Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up.
5个钟头前 我才吃了一颗葡萄 Ooh, you know, um, I had a grape about five hours ago...
所以我最好和你分着吃 ...so I better split this with you.
本来就那么小的 那是前菜啦 It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer.
法文叫做开胃小菜 The French call it an amuse-bouche.
这的确很开胃 Well, it is amusing.
喂？嗨 温蒂 Hello? Oh, hi, Wendy.
是的 8点钟 Yeah, 8:00.
一个钟头10块如何？ What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?
太好了 Okay, great.
好的 我们到时见了 拜 All right, I'll see you then. Bye.
钟点费10块做什么？ Ten dollars an hour for what?
我找了一起工作的女侍帮我 I asked a waitress at work to help me out.
女侍？ Waitressing?
噢 Uh-oh.
当然我有想到你 Ha, ha. Of course I thought of you.
但是… But...
- 但是… - 但是怎样？ - But... - But, but?
但那一晚我必须要力求完美 But, you see, it's just this night has to go just perfect, you know...
温蒂是比较专业的女侍 ...and, well, Wendy's more of a professional waitress.
噢 Oh.
而我只是业余级的 I see. Yes. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status...
所以我应该在奥林匹克当女侍 ...so that I can waitress in the Olympics.
我不想吹牛 但我在1976年曾在奥地利当侍者 You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76.
开胃小菜？ Amuse-bouche?
跟我说话 Talk to me.
好吧 今早在火车上发生一件怪事 Okay, uh, ahem, a weird thing happened to me on the train this morning...
不 不 说淫荡的话 No, no, no. Talk dirty.
- 在这里？ - 快点 - Wow. Here? - Come on.
快点 Come on.
说些… Say something...
撩人的话 ...hot.
- 怎么啦？ - 唔 - What? - Uh...
- 什么 - 噢 - What? - Ooh.
- 什么？ - 嗯… - What? - Um...
什么？ What?
- 什么？ - 私处 - What? - Vulva.
"私处"？ "Vulva"?
好嘛 我慌了 All right, I panicked, all right?
我没料到她会那样 She took me by surprise.
但那也不算很失败 我们最后有拥抱 You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, uh, we ended up cuddling.
拥抱？有几次？ Whoa, you cuddled? How many times?
闭嘴 那很美好 Shut up. It was nice. I just...
我不认为自己会说淫秽的话 I just don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
那没什么 你就讲你想对她怎样 What's the big deal? Just say what you want to do to her.
或你想她怎样对你 Or what you want her to do to you.
或其他人想怎么来的话 Or what you think other people might be doing to each other.
我告诉你 你可以试试我 Look, I tell you what. Try something on me.
我希望你在开玩笑 Please be kidding.
为什么不？ Why not? Come on.
闭上你的眼睛 告诉我你现在想怎么做 Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.
好吧 我… Okay, I'm, uh...
我在我的公寓 I'm in my apartment...
是啊 还有呢？ Yeah, what else?
就这样 你不在那里 我们没谈这段对话 That's it. You're not there. We're not having this conversation.
- 好吧 我来起头好了 好吗？ - 拜托你 乔伊 - All right. Look, I'll start, okay? - Joey, please.
来嘛 听着 Come on, come on. All right, ready? Look.
喔 罗斯 Oh, Ross.
你让我浑身着火 我要你亲吻我的身体 You get me so hot, I want your lips on me now.
看吧？ See?
- 现在换你说点什么 - 我真的不想 - All right, now you say something. - I, uh... I really don't think so.
来吧 Come on.
- 你喜欢这马子 对吧？ - 是啊 - You like this woman, right? - Yeah.
- 想再见到她 - 当然 - You wanna see her again, right? - Sure.
如果在我面前你都说不了 你要怎么对她说？ Well, if you can't talk dirty to me, how are you gonna talk dirty to her?
现在你跟我说 你想抚摸我的屁屁 Now tell me you want to caress my butt.
好吧 转过去 Okay, turn around.
我只是不想在你盯着我看的时候说 I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
好吧 我没在看 你说吧 All right, all right. I'm not looking. Go ahead.
好吧 Okay.
我想… Ahem, I want, um...
好吧 我想… Okay, I want...
用我的唇 ...to feel...
感觉你那火热又柔软的肌肤 ...your hot, soft skin with my lips.
很好 There you go.
继续… Keep going, keep going.
我… I, uh...
我要用我的舌头… I want to take my tongue and...
还有… And...
说啊 Say it.
说啊 Say it!
舔吻你的全身 Run it all over your body...
直到我们颤抖 因为… ...until you're trembling with...
因为？ With?
- 太好笑了 - 你绝不会相信的 - Funny story. - You're not gonna believe this.
没关系… It's okay. It's okay.
我一直都赞成你们凑成一对 I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
钱德 你睡觉时 你之前工作的人又来电了 Hey, while you were sleeping, that guy from your old job called again.
又来电？ Oh. Again?
- 不停不停的来电 - 又来 - And again and again and again. - And again.
喂？又来了 Hello? Heh. And again.
啊 Ah.
嘿 卡斯力克先生 你在15楼还好吗？ Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor?
是啊 我也想你 Yeah, I miss you too.
从自己的家偷笔就没那么好玩了 Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know?
你太大方了 Well, that's very generous.
但这事与钱无关 Uh, but look, this isn't about the money.
我要的不只是一份工作 You know? I need something that's more than a job.
而是自己真正在意… I need something I really care about...
外加之前你提的年终奖金？ And that's on top of the year-end bonus structure you mentioned earlier?
你的梦想 Your dream.
听着 艾尔… 我不是耍强硬 好吗？ Look, Al. Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay?
这不是协商 我是在拒绝 This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection.
不 不… No... No, no. No, no.
不要再跟我谈数字 No, stop saying numbers!
我告诉你 你找错人了… I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You got the wrong guy!
礼拜一再见 I'll see you Monday!
啊 Ah.
呼？ Huh?
哇 好大喔 Wow. It's huge.
比隔间办公室大多了 It's so much bigger than the cubicle.
这是大大的正方体 Oh, this is a cube.
你看这个 Look at this.
你有窗户 You have a window!
是啊 没有错 Yes, indeedy.
- 还有漂亮的视野 - 你看 那人在尿尿 - With a beautiful view of... - Oh, look. That guy's peeing.
好了 窗景看完了 你来看这里 Okay. That's enough of the view. All right, check this out.
- 来 你坐下 - 好 - Ahem. Okay, sit down here. Sit down. - Okay.
这太棒了 Okay, this is great. This is great.
- 准备好了吗？ - 好了 - Ahem. You ready? - Yeah.
海伦 请你进来一下好吗？ Helen, could you come in here for a moment?
谢了 海伦 就这样 Thank you, Helen, that'll be all.
这是最后一次了 我保证 Last time I do that. I promise.
温蒂 我们说好的 Wendy, we had a deal.
对 你答应我了 Yeah, you promised.
温蒂… Wendy. Wendy. Wendy!
是谁？ Hmm, who was that?
温蒂不来了 我没有女侍 Wendy bailed. I have no waitress.
那太惨了 That's too bad.
再见 Bye-bye.
- 一小时10元 - 不要 - Ten dollars an hour. - Nope.
12元 Twelve dollars an hour.
我希望我可以 但我已经计划要去走走 Mon, I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.
瑞秋 你结婚逃跑时 我也有帮你 You know, Rachel, when you ran out on your wedding, I was there for you.
我帮你顶下来了 如果那不算什么… I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you...
一小时20元 Twenty dollars an hour.
成交 Done.
- 哈罗 欢迎光临摩妮卡的家 - 你好 - Well, hello. Welcome to Monica's. - Hello.
我能帮你拿外套吗？ May I take your coat?
- 嗨 史提夫 - 你好 摩妮卡 - Hi, Steve. - Hello, Monica.
你好 招待的女孩 Hello, greeter girl.
- 这位是瑞秋 - 是 好的 - This is Rachel. - Yeah, okay.
一切闻起来都好香 Mm, everything smells so delicious.
我不记得曾闻过这么美味的… You know, I can't remember a time I smelled such a delicious combination of...
好吧 味道 Okay, smells.
这公寓很棒 Well, it's a lovely apartment.
谢谢 要参观吗？ Oh, thank you. Would you like a tour?
我只是说客气话 但没问题 I was just being polite, but all right.
怎么了？ What? What's up?
搭计程车过来时 史提夫抽了一根烟草 In the cab on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
什么？ What?
抽大烟 吸大麻… Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja.
好了… Okay, okay, okay.
我听得懂 Okay, I'm with you, Cheech. Okay.
这里很干吗？ Is it dry in here?
让我给你倒杯酒 Let me get you some wine.
我想也可以开始第一道菜了 Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course too.
好… Okay...
这是意式… These are rock shrimp ravioli...
- 虾饮沾胡婪叶醋酱 - 哦 - ...in a cilantro ponzu sauce... - Oh.
还加上一点… ...with just a touch of minced...
姜汁泥 ...ginger.
打我的屁屁叫我茱蒂 Well, smack my ass and call me Judy.
太好吃了 These are fantastic.
天啊 真高兴你喜欢 Oh, gosh. I'm so glad you liked them.
喜欢？我可以吃下一百盘 Like them? I could eat a hundred of them.
这样啊… Oh. Well, um...
我们只有这些 That's all there is of these...
但再过8分半钟 椰奶派就好了 ...but in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious tartlets.
椰奶派？ "Tartlets"? Heh.
椰奶派？ "Tartlets."
文字已经失去意义了 Word has lost all meaning.
抱歉 我能为你效劳吗？ Excuse me. Can I help you with anything?
我不知道自己要找什么耶 You know, I don't know what I'm looking for.
太棒了 油炸塔可饼 Oh, cool. Taco shells.
它们有点像玉米信封 You know, these are... They are like a little corn envelope, you know?
你不想坏了你的胃口 You know what? You don't want to spoil your appetite.
嘿 早餐麦片 Hey. Sugar-O's.
你只要再等6分半钟… You know, if you just wait another six and a half minutes...
起司通心面 我们来做这个 Oh. Macaroni and cheese. We gotta make this.
我们不做这个 No, we don't.
喔不 好吧 Oh, okay.
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
你何不就坐在这儿？ Yeah, why don't you just have a seat here?
好吧 Okay.
好吧 熊熊糖给我 Okay. Give me the Gummy Bears.
不要 Yeah, I... No.
- 拿给我 - 我们一起吃 - Give them to me. - All right, we'll share.
- 不行 把糖给我 - 这样你就不能吃 - No. Give me the bears. - Well, then you can't have any.
- 给我 - 那不值得 - Give them to me. - This is not worth it.
熊熊翻船了 他们要溺水了 Oh, oh! Bears overboard. They're drowning.
别光站在那 丢下泳圈 救救自己吧 Hey, fellas. Grab onto a Sugar-O. Save yourselves.
救命… 我要溺死了 Help! Help! I'm drowning. Help! Help!
够了 晚餐结束了 That's it, okay? Dinner is over.
- 什么？ - "什么"？ - What? - "What"?
- 为什么？ - "为什么"？ - Why? - "Why"?
为什么？我等了7年才等到像这样的机会 I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this...
而你却不能用4分半钟等椰奶派？ ...and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
嘿... Hey...
真是个疯子 What a tool.
你不会想替那种人工作的 You don't want to work for a guy like that.
我知道 我只是以为这是我的机会 I know. It's just... I don't know, I just thought that this was, you know, "it."
别担心 你是很棒的厨师 Look, you'll get there. You're an amazing chef.
那些好吃的声音是很真诚的 Yeah, you know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
所以你跟西莉雅怎样？ So, uh, how did it go with Celia?
我表现绝佳 Oh, uh, I was unbelievable.
好耶 罗斯 All right, Ross.
我是淫荡话语的教主 I was the James Michener of dirty talk.
那是史上最优雅的粗野话 It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard.
里面有角色 剧情 主题 I mean, there were characters, plot lines...
还有动机 ...themes, a motif.
我还一度提到村人呢 At one point, there were villagers.
然后呢？ Oh, and, uh...
等到我们说完 Well, um, you know, by the time we finished with all the dirty talk...
时间很晚了我们都很累 ...it was kind of late and we were both exhausted, so...
- 你们就拥抱 - 没错 那样很好 - You cuddled. - Yeah, which was nice.
你们想去看晚场电影吗？ Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie or something?
或许吧 不该等钱德吗？ Maybe, but shouldn't we wait for Chandler?
他跑到哪去了？ Whoa. Where the hell is he?
是的 法兰 我知道现在几点了 Yes, Fran, I know what time it is...
但我在看周网表而且我很不爽 ...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy.
真的？让我跟你说 Oh, really? Well, let me tell you something.
你会在意因为我在意 懂吗？很好 You will care about it because I care about it. Got it? Good!
哇 Whoa.
- 这样如何？ - 呃 - How's this? - Eek!
- 对不起 那这里呢？ - 哦 - Sorry. How about over here? - Oh!
那就表示有效了 See, now, that just means it's working.
- 会痛吗？ - 不会 - Does this hurt? - No.
- 那这样呢？ - 啊 - How about this? - Aah!
很好 There you go.
我要吐了 Oh, I'm gonna throw up.