我到底哪里有问题？不够风趣吗？ Okay. What is it about me? Do I not look fun enough?
我到底是哪里惹人嫌？ Is there something repellent about me?
派对进行得如何？ How was the party?
糟透了 女人都把我当空气一样的穿过去 It couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me.
我真的那么无可救药的不吸引人吗？ So, what is it? Am I hideously unattractive?
才不会呢 你很有魅力啊 No, you are not. You are very attractive.
我也有过同样经历 I go through the exact same thing.
每次我变胖时 我都会很没信心 东猜西想 Every time I put on a little weight, I question everything.
哇 哇 Whoa, whoa.
我变胖了？ I've put on a little weight?
- 你要不要…？ - 对… - Did you want to? - Yeah, uh...
不是变胖 是变得更稳重 No, not weight. More like insulation.
我现在没工作 我需要找件事做 Chandler, I'm unemployed, in dire need of a project.
你想锻炼吗？ 我可以帮你打造全新的你 Wanna work out? I can remake you.
我很想 但那样我便没时间懒散了 Uh, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying-around time.
- 拜托嘛 - 好啦 让她帮你啦 - Please? - Come on, let her do it!
好吧 但穿上紧身衣之后 All right. But if we put on spandex...
若我的胸部比你大就免谈 and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm going home.
你的胸部不大啦 我真是大嘴巴…过来 Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here!
两只手合抱不起来 Ooh, can't make hands meet!
没有人告诉你活着有多累 ∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 ∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 ∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
日复一日 年复一年 ∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
时运不济 活着受罪 ∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
纵有狂风暴雨 ∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
支持一如往昔 ∮ Like I've been there before ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
你我相偎相依 ∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
来吧 Okay! Let's do it.
怎样？ What?
没事 只是没看过你穿紧身裤 Nothing. Just never seen you in little stretchy pants before.
我去换衣服 And we're changing.
- 再来五次 - 不 - Come on, give me five more! - Ugh. Aah!
- 再五次 - 不要 - Five more! - No!
再五次我就给你看我的胸部 Five more and I'll flash you.
一... One...
二... two...
二点五… two and a half.
先给我看一边 Just show me one of them.
哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
她疯了 那女人疯了 She's insane! The woman is insane.
上班前 下班后 甚至上班时 It's before work, after work, and during work.
她要我在办公桌前练缩臀 She's got me doing butt-clenches at my desk.
现在 他们不再送邮件给我了 And now they won't bring me my mail anymore.
菲比 和史考特约会进行如何？ Hey, Pheebs. How'd it go with Scott?
很不错 去了一家很浪漫的餐厅… Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restaurant...
点香槟喝 还不错 ordered champagne. Nice.
- 还是没搞头？ - 没有 完全没搞头 - The guy still won't put out? - Nope. Zilch. Nothing. Uh-uh.
- 真遗憾 菲比 - 真遗憾 菲比 - Sorry, Pheebs. - Sorry, Pheebs.
我不介意慢慢来 我很喜欢他 Well, look, I don't mind taking it slow. I like him a lot.
他很风趣又很体贴 He's really interesting, and he's really sweet.
他干嘛不肯放开矜持 ? Why won't he give it up?
搞不好他是"另外一边的" Maybe he, uh, drives his car on the other side of the road.
你晓得我的意思… If you know what I mean.
我不懂 什么意思？ 他又不是英国人 No. What do you mean? He's not British.
- 或许他是同志 - 哦 - Maybe he's gay. - Oh!
我觉得不太可能 Um, no, I don't think that's the problem.
我们前几天去跳舞… We went, um, dancing the other night...
他紧紧抱住我的那个样子还有他凝视我眼睛的样子… and just the way he held me so close and the way he was looking into my eyes...
让我真的有触电的感觉 I just definitely felt something.
但是眼神能看出什么呢？ Yeah, but how much can you tell from a look?
我的臀部有感觉到他 我知道的 No, I felt it on my hip. I could tell.
哟 宾 二十分钟后去打壁球 Yo, Bing! Racquetball in 20 minutes.
乔伊 行行好 把我的手抬起来揍她一拳 Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it. Heh.
- 喔 瑞秋 别看 - 什么？ - Ooh. Oh, Rachel! Don't look. - What?
拜托 我才不在乎 我今晚有约会呢 Come on, guys. I don't care. I have a date tonight.
- 你有约会？ - 摩妮卡帮我介绍的 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. You have a date? - Yeah. Monica's setting me up.
那罗斯和… Heh, now, what about, uh, Ross and...
什么？我很爱乱吃醋的事吗？ What? My whole insane jealousy thing?
尽管这整件事有许多引人入胜之处… Well, you know, as much fun as that was...
我决定还是好好过日子 I've decided to opt for sanity.
你已经不介意罗？ So you're okay about all this?
喔 当然 拜托 我已释怀了 Oh, yeah, come on! I'm moving on.
他大可将她压在玻璃上用力搓揉… He can press her up against that window as much as he wants.
我才不在意 他可以直接将她从玻璃窗丢进来 For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
- 嗨 各位 - 嘿 - Hi, guys. - Hey.
摩妮卡 我明早过来拿毛毛的玩具 Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow and pick up Fluffy's old cat toys, okay?
你得说出他的全名才行 Only if you say his full name.
我明天是否能过来拿喵毛毛的旧玩具？ Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toys?
- 好的 - 你要养猫？ - All right. - You're getting a cat?
事实上 是我们要养的 Actually, we're getting a cat. Heh.
- 一起？ - 嗯 - Together? - Uh-huh.
- 你们俩？一起？ - 对 - Both of you? Together? - Yup.
他一半时间和我住 一半时间和他住 It'll live with Ross half the time and me half the time.
喔… Oh, well...
可真幸福耶 isn't that just lovely? Ha, ha.
你们俩将可以… That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy...
享受这种感觉好长好长一段时间呢 for a really, really, really long time.
- 希望如此 - 哇 - Hopefully. - Oh, wow.
哎呀 我得走了 我要去约会呢 Whoa! Look at that. I gotta go! I got a date!
和男人约会 好吧 With a man. Ahem, okay.
祝你们大家晚安… You guys have a really, uh, good night...
祝你们俩找到一只很棒的猫 and you two have a, uh, really good cat. Heh.
离开店时不能把这拿走的 We're not supposed to take these when we leave.
摩妮卡大概告诉过你 这是我离婚之后第一次约会 I don't know if Monica told you... but this the first date I've gone on since my divorce.
我或许有点紧张 事实上我是的 So if I seem a little nervous... I am.
猫能活多久？ How long do cats live?
- 什么？ - 猫通常能活几年？ - I'm sorry? - Cats. How long do they live?
如果不是把他们丢到巴士底下的话… Figuring you don't throw them under a bus or something?
- 大概十五 六年吧 - 那可真好啊 - Um, maybe 15, 16 years. - Well, that's just great.
- 干杯 - 嗯 - Um, cheers. - Mm.
是啊… 干杯 Right. Clink. Heh.
摩妮卡把我形容得比本人帅 是吧？ Monica told you I was cuter than this, didn't she?
噢 不 麦可 和你没关系… Oh, no, Michael, it's not you.
对不起 是这样的… Sorry. It's just... It's this thing.
或许听起来很奇怪… It's probably not as bad as it sounds...
但我有个朋友和他的女朋友正打算养一只猫 but this friend of mine is getting a cat with his girlfriend.
喔 那的确是… Oh, that does sound...
- 呃 - 他才刚和她交往 - Huh. - He just started going out with her.
他是你前任男友吗？ Ahem. Is this guy, uh, an old boyfriend?
他倒是想喔 Yeah, he wishes.
真抱歉 我真失礼 Oh, I'm sorry. Look at me.
麦可 咱们来谈谈你吧 Okay, Michael, let's talk about you.
- 好的 - 好的 - All right. - Okay. Okay?
所以… So...
你曾经和女友一起养过宠物吗？ Did you ever get a pet with a girlfriend?
- 我终于想出究竟是怎么回事了 - 什么？ - So I figured it out. - What?
为什么史考特不肯和我上床 Why Scott doesn't want to sleep with me.
因为我不够性感 'Cause I'm not sexy enough.
菲比 那太扯了吧 Heh, Phoebe, that's crazy.
我刚认识你时 你知道我怎么对钱德说的吗？ When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler?
- 呃 - 我说“前突后翘 有看头” - Mm-mm. - I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
真的吗？你真好 Really? That's so sweet.
我觉得很被冒犯 不过还是挺好的 I mean, I'm officially offended. But that's so sweet.
如果你真想知道实情 你得亲自问他 Look, if you wanna know what the deal is, you're gonna have to ask him.
你说得对 没错 You're right. You're right.
你好可爱喔 Ugh, you are so yum!
只不过是一只猫 你知道？ 只是只猫 I mean, it's a cat, you know? It's a cat.
他们干嘛不养虫子？ 养果蝇嘛 Why can't they get one of those bugs? One of those fruit flies.
那种只活一天的 叫什么来着？ Those things that live for a day. What are they called? What are they called?
- 果蝇？ - 没错 - Fruit flies? - Yes!
谢谢你 Thank you.
- 你们要吃甜点吗？ - 不要 不要甜点 - Would you like any dessert? - No! No dessert.
我们要买单 拜托 Just the check. Please.
喔 糟糕 和我约会很不好玩吧？ Oh, no. You're not having fun, are you?
不 不 很好玩… No, no, I am.
因为两小时来 我脑海里不停的放映电影《餐馆》的情节 But only because I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
喔 我真是的… Oh, look at me.
瞧瞧我 Look at me.
我正在和一个很棒的男人约会… Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy.
我心里却只想着罗斯和他的猫… All I can think about is Ross... and his cat...
还有他的茱莉 and his Julie.
我只想忘了他 为什么我办不到呢？ I just want to get over him. God, why can't I do that?
喔 Oy.
我离过婚 相信我 你会没事的 Look, I've been through a divorce. Trust me, you're gonna be fine.
你只是心结未解 You can't see it because you haven't had closure...
啊 Aah!
解开心结 Closure!
这就对了 那正是我需要的 That's what it is. That's what I need.
老天 你真聪明 God, you're brilliant!
我为什么之前没想到？ 要如何解开心结呢？ Why didn't I think of that? How do I get that?
并没有绝对的可行办法 Well, there's no one way really, it's just...
有各种不同的办法 比如让你对他说… Whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him:
我已不再为你伤神 "I'm over you."
不再为你伤神 Over you.
那正是关键 That's what it is.
解开心结 Closure.
哈罗…对不起… Hello? Excuse me?
对不起…哎唷… Excuse me. Hel... Whoo!
- 等等 - 对不起… - Hang on. - Hello? Excuse me?
- 干嘛？ - 嗨…抱歉… - What? - Hi. I'm sorry.
电话借我一分钟 I need to borrow your phone for just one minute.
- 我正在讲电话 - 我看得出来 - I'm talking. - I see that.
就打一通电话 很快 我可以付你钱 It's one phone call, I'll be very quick. I'll even pay for it myself.
你有点小气喔 不肯借人电话 Okay, you're being a little weird about your phone.
好吧 All right. Fine.
好 我再打给你 I'll call you back.
谢谢 Thank you.
好 Okay.
是答录机 Machine.
- 等哔声过后就可以讲 - 那很好 - Just waiting for the beep. - Good.
罗斯 嗨 是我 瑞秋… Ross! Hi, it's Rachel.
我打电话来要告诉你… I'm just calling to say that, um...
一切都很好 我很为你高兴 everything's fine. And I'm really happy for you...
还有你的猫 and your cat.
还有 你应该给你的猫取名叫麦可 Who, by the way, I think you should name Michael.
瞧 我连名字都想好了… And you see there, I'm thinking of names...
可见我已不再为你伤神 so obviously I am over you.
我已不再为你伤神 I am over you.
那便是所谓的"解开心结" And that, my friend, is what they call "closure."
不 不 不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no, no, no.
不 No!
今天是星期天 我星期天不跑步 Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday.
- 为什么？ - 因为是星期天 - Why not? - Because it's Sunday!
是上帝叫人休息的日子 It's God's day.
嘿 只要你想停 我们就停 Ha, hey. If you say stop, then we stop.
好 Ha, ha, okay.
停 Stop.
不行 不能停啊 还有三磅要减耶 No, come on! We can't stop! We got three more pounds to go!
我是精力充沛的火车而你在车上 I am the energy train and you are on board
唔 Whoo.
- 嘿 瑞秋… - 嗯 - Hey, Rach. - Mm.
约会约得如何？ Oh. And how was the date? Ugh.
我记得去了一间餐厅… Um, I think there was a restaurant.
我知道我喝了酒 I know there was wine.
嗯… Wow. Well, uh...
呃 茱莉在楼下招计程车… Uh, actually, Julie's getting a cab.
我上来拿猫玩具 摩妮卡有没有说…？ I just need the cat toys. Did Monica say?
你为什么那样看我？ What? Why are you looking at me like that? Heh.
对不起 我不晓得 我… Ahem, I'm sorry. I don't know, I...
我好像梦到了你… I feel like I had a dream about you last night...
但我不记得了 but I don't remember.
好吧 Okay. Heh.
- 噢…在那里 - 嗯 - Oh, oh, oh. There they are. - Ahem.
我们昨晚有讲电话吗？ 你是不是打给我？ Did we speak on the phone? Did you call me?
没有 我昨晚在茱莉那里过夜 No. I stayed at Julie's last night.
- 呃 - 我还没回家过 我可以查一下留言吗？ - Huh. - Oh, I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages?
喔 好啊 你查 Oh, yeah, go ahead.
瑞秋 我有一通你的留言 Rach, I got a message from you!
- 谁是麦可？ - 喔 老天 - Who's Michael? - Oh, my God.
罗斯 不要 挂断电话 电话给我… God, Ross, no! Hang up the phone. Give me the phone!...
电话给… Give me the...
你已经不再为我伤神？ You're over me?
喔 老天 Oh, God.
- 你…？ - 喔 老天 - Wha...? You're, uh... - Oh, God.
- 你已经不再为我伤神？ - 天哪 - You're over me? - Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
天啊 Oh, my God. Oh...
你何时… When...? When were you...
为我伤神过？ under me?
瑞秋 Rach.
瑞秋 你…？ Rachel, do you?
你曾经有过…？ I mean, were you, uh...?
- 什么？ - 好吧 好吧… - What? - Okay. Okay, okay.
嗯…基本上 Well, basically...
最近我是有点… ahem, lately, I've, uh...
有点喜欢你 Ahem, I've sort of had feelings for you.
你喜欢我？ You've had feelings for me?
那又怎样？ 是你先喜欢我的 Yeah, so? You had feelings for me first. Whoa, huh.
你知道我… 你知道我从前… You know about my...? You know I had...?
你知道？ You know?
- 钱德告诉我了 - 他什么时候讲的？ - Chandler told me. - When did he...? When did he...? When did he?
- 你去中国… - 中国 - When you were in China. - China.
- 遇见茱莉的时候 - 茱莉 - Meeting Julie. - Julie.
茱莉 这… 喔 老天 Julie. That's... Oh, God.
茱莉…对喔 Julie? Julie, right.
好 我必须躺下 Okay, I need to lie down.
- 不 我要站着 我得站着… - 好 - No, I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna stand... - Okay.
我还要走动一下 我要走动兼站着 and I'm gonna walk. I'm walking and I am standing.
所以你… Okay, so you, uh?
现在 现在… And now, what? Now...? Now.
现在你对我释怀了吗？ Now you're over me?
你对我释怀了吗？ Are you over me?
是茱莉…茱莉 That's... That's Julie. That's Julie. Julie.
- 嗨 茱莉 - 我招到计程车了 - Hi, Julie. - Honey, I've got a cab waiting.
我马上下来 I'll be right down!
等等 你要走了？ Wait, so you're going?
我得走 我现在没办法处理这件事 Well, okay, I, uh... I have to. I can't deal with this right now.
计程车在等我 我有个女朋友 I mean, I've, uh... Heh. You know, I've got a cab. I've got a girlfriend.
我还要去领养一只猫 I'm gonna go get a cat.
好 Okay. Okay.
猫 Cat!
- 嘿 乔伊 - 嘿 菲比 - Hey, Joey. - Hey, Pheebs.
你干嘛看犹太牧师弹电吉他？ How come you're watching a rabbi play electric guitar?
我找不到摇控器 I can't find the remote.
谢谢你 Ugh, thank you. Heh.
史考特找我去他家吃午餐 我去了 So, Scott asked me to come over for lunch and I did.
- 然后呢？ - 我们做了 - And? - And we did.
- 好耶 太棒了 - 是啊 好棒唷 - All right, Pheebs! Way to go! - Yay, me. Ha, ha.
怎么发生的？ So how did it happen?
我最终接受了你的建议 问他究竟是怎么回事 I finally took your advice and asked him what was going on.
- 他怎么说？ - 他说… - What did he say? - He said that...
他知道女人对性特别感情用事 he understands how sex can be a very emotional thing for a woman.
他之前是怕我会胡思乱想… And he was just afraid that I was going to get all, you know:
担心他隔天会不会打电话？ 和他有没有未来？ "Is he gonna call me the next day?" And "Where is this going?" and...
他说他想等到他准备好定下来才做那件事 So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be serious.
是啊 结果我便劝他… Yeah. So I said,
别紧张 放轻松… "Okay. Relax, please." You know?
性有可能只是一时干柴烈火的反应 I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment.
如果他想再和我约会 他再打来没关系 不打也没关系 If he wants to see me again, he can call. If not, that's fine too.
结果我们谈了很久… So after a lot of talking, heh...
最后我说服他了 I convinced him. Heh!
让我把这件事搞清楚 他让你去求他上床 Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him.
他让你自己开口说 他不用打电话给你 He got you to say he never has to call you again.
他还让你认为这是个好主意？ And he got you thinking this is a great idea?
嗯 哼 Uh-huh.
这个家伙真的是我的偶像 This man is my god.
晚安 Good night.
- 嗨 - 我没领养猫 - Hi. - I didn't get a cat.
喔 这下可有意思了 Oh, that's, um, interesting.
不 一点也不有意思 非常没意思 No. No, it's not interesting. Okay? It's very, very not interesting.
事实上一点意思都没有 It's actually a hundred percent the opposite of interesting.
我懂了 罗斯 I got it, Ross.
你无权告诉我你对我曾经有过感觉 You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
- 什么？ - 在我发现之前我过得好好的 - What? - I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
在我发现之前我也过得好好的 I was doing great before I found out about you!
看到你和茱莉在一起 你以为我很好过吗？ You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
你在我认识她之前就该表示 You should've said something before I met her.
我不晓得啊 那你为何都没表示呢？ I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me?
总是没有一个好时机 There was never a good time.
你有一整年的时间 我们还每晚都一起混 You only had a year. And we only hung out every night!
没有… Not... Not... Not...
每个晚上 every night.
不是我没尝试 有太多事情挡在中间 It's not like I didn't try. But things got in the way.
像那些意大利男人 还有前任未婚夫… You know, like Italian guys... or ex-fiancés, or... Or... Or...
还有那些意大利男人 Italian guys.
只有一个意大利男人 你的重点是…？ There was one Italian guy, okay? And do you have a point?
重点是 我现在没办法处理这件事 The point is, I don't need this right now!
好吧？已经太迟了 Okay? It's too late.
我身边已经有人 我这艘船已经出港了 I'm with somebody else. I'm happy. This ship has sailed!
你打算将你对我的感情 搁置一旁？ You're just gonna put away feelings or whatever it was you felt for me?
我从初三就开始这么做了 我对这蛮在行的 I've done it since ninth grade. I've gotten good at it.
好啊 你就继续这么做吧 All right, fine. You go ahead and do that, Ross.
我才不要坐你的船 I don't need your stupid ship!
- 好 - 很好 - Good. - Good!
还有… 我现在已经解开心结了 And you know what? Now I got closure!
最下面那个 Try the bottom one.
摩妮卡 现在是清晨六点半 Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning.
我们不锻炼了 就此告一段落 We're not working out. It's over.
只剩一磅耶 拜托 No way! With one pound to go? Come on!
咱们要不断努力 加油 We're workin', we're movin' We're in the zone, we're groovin'
最后一磅我无所谓 Okay, I don't mind the last pound.
老实讲 我还挺喜欢这最后一磅 In fact, I kind of like the last pound.
别让我做出我会后悔的事 So don't make me do anything that I'll regret.
你打算怎样啊 肥仔？ Ha, oh, what you gonna do, fat boy, huh? Ha, ha.
怎样？ What? Heh.
没事 我只是在想你精力过人 好厉害 Nothing. Except tell you, uh, it's wonderful how much energy you have.
谢谢 Well, thanks.
尤其是你这阵子一直都找不到工作… Especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work.
你知道的… Well, you know. Heh.
是啊 我是说… You know, I mean...
你不能告诉你爸妈你被开除 因为他们会很失望 you can't tell your parents you were fired, because they'd be disappointed.
哦-呵 Uh-huh.
再说你现在又没男朋友 让你有个精神依靠 It's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on.
- 是没错 不过我… - 我是说… - Well, no. But I... - I mean...
换成是我 我一定每天都没精神起床… if it were me, I'd have difficulty getting out of bed at all.
我试着保持乐观心态… You know, I try to stay positive.
所以… So you?
你还想去跑步吗？ You feel like going for a run?
还好 All right.
你不用勉强 你可以在这里睡个觉 Because you don't have to. You could just take a nap right here.
好吧 Okay.
- 就睡一下下 - 好的 - Just for a little while. - Okay.