好了 这是他的尿布袋 Okay, here's his diaper bag...
- 这是他的温奇先生 - 哈哈 - and his, uh, Mr. Winky. Ha, ha. - Ha, ha.
还有… And, uh...
噢 Oh.
他 你好 Him. Hi!
- 一切都还好吧？ - 很好 - How did everything go? - Great.
有一次喷射性的… There was a projectile, uh...
呕吐事件 但是他先开始的 throwing up incident, but he started it.
- 我们要走了 - 好的 - Ha, ha. We've gotta go. - Okay.
对了 Oh, right. Um...
我有件事要说 是关于我们的 I've got some news. It's about us.
- 你和我吗？ - 不 苏珊和我 - Oh, you and me? - Uh, no. Susan and me.
另一个"我们" The other "us."
好吧 Okay.
我们要结婚了 We're getting married.
"我现在宣布你们为妻子和妻子"那种结婚？ As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
我们希望你参加 如果你不来我们也能够理解 We'd like you to come. We understand if you don't want to.
我为什么不去呢？上次婚礼我很快乐 Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
我只是想说… I just thought that...
我为何不能替你们高兴呢？如果我不能… Why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me...
因为你的快乐而快乐 我又算什么？ if I couldn't, uh, revel in your joy?
我很快乐 宝贝 相信我 And I'm reveling, baby. Believe me.
你的手指被椅子夹到了？ Is your finger caught in that chair?
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
- 要我们走吗？ - 呃 - Want us to go? - Uh-huh.
没有人告诉你活着有多累 ∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 ∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 ∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
日复一日 年复一年 ∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
时运不济 活着受罪 ∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
纵有狂风暴雨 ∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
支持一如往昔 ∮ Like I've been there before ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
你我相偎相依 ∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
你好像有烦恼 告诉我是什么 You're clearly bothered by something. Tell me what it is.
太酷了 你真的要上电视了 This is cool. You're actually on television.
我知道 我昨晚才真的感觉到 I know. It really hit me last night.
我要参加《我们的日子》的演出 I'm on Days of our Lives.
我就开始想到我们 这真是属于我们的日子 Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives.
- 好耶 - 怎么？ - Yes! - What?
帮卡萝和苏珊办婚宴的人骑越野车出意外了 Carol and Susan's caterer had a bike accident...
全身都打了石膏 and she's in a full-body cast.
好耶 Yes!
她们要我帮忙 太酷了 我没有办过婚宴 They asked me, which is cool since I've never catered...
我真的需要钱 这对你不成问题吧？ and I need the money. Is this a problem?
- 这重要吗？ - 真是太好了 - Would it matter? - You're so great!
谢谢 Thank you!
- 你真的不去？ - 我真的不去 - You're really not going? - I'm really not.
我不懂 她们已经同居了 为什么还要结婚呢？ They already live together. Why do they need to get married?
因为她们彼此相爱 They love each other.
她们想跟亲朋好友一起分享那份爱 They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them.
你要硬讲就算罗 If you wanna call that a reason.
谁是客厅里最苦情的男人？ Who's the bitterest man In the living room?
客厅里最苦情的男人？ The bitterest man In the living room?
你好 邻居 Hi, neighbor.
- 我以为你已经不在乎了 - 这完全没关系 她是我的前妻 - I thought you were over this. - That has nothing to do with it.
如果她嫁给别的男人 你们绝对不会期望我去的 If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn't expect me to go.
如果她嫁给一个男人 她就是最烂的女同志了 If she were marrying a guy, she'd be the worst lesbian ever.
我错过了吗？ Did I miss it?
没有 这个家伙自杀后就换我了 No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.
她很漂亮 Whoa, she's pretty.
她人也很好 And she's really nice.
她教我怎么在摄影机前演戏 She taught me about how to work with the cameras...
还有闯屁演戏法 and smell-the-fart acting.
- 抱歉 你说哈？ - 你说什么？ - I'm sorry, what? - Excuse me?
要这么短的时间记住这么多台词 You got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes...
有时候需要一点时间想下一句台词 you need a minute to remember your next one.
所以你在想的时候… So while you're thinking...
你停顿一下 表情装得非常凝重 you take this big pause where you look all intense.
就像这样 Like this:
- 哦 - 了解 - Oh. - Okay.
我的戏分 我的戏分 Here's my scene! Here's my scene!
- 华乐斯太太？ - 是的 - Mrs. Wallace? - Yes.
我是德瑞克·雷莫瑞医师 你妹妹的神经外科医师 I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
她会没事吧？ Is she going to be all right?
我想情况比我们预期的还糟 I'm afraid the situation is much more dire than we'd expected.
你的妹妹罹患了… Your sister's suffering from a...
硬脑膜下血肿 subcranial hematoma.
或许我们可以边喝咖啡 边讨论一下 Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee.
很不错 Nice!
我还以为你真的闻到什么味道 For a minute, I thought you were actually smelling something.
- 再演一次 - 再演一次 - Do it again! - All right!
- 太棒了 - 再来一次 - That was so good! - Do it again.
"可恶 毕佛曼 就在病历上" "Damn it, Braverman! It's right there on the chart!"
我要去上班了 我还有一个恐龙大骨头要检查 I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
不 那是我 No, that's me.
对喔 Oh, right.
- 哦 - 哦 - Oh. - Oh.
谢谢 我没办法… Oh, thanks. Couldn't, uh...
还好吧？ Is everything okay?
不好 Um, no. Uh-uh. Um...
今天我有一个客人死在按摩床上 One of my clients died on the massage table today.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
你也未免让她太放松了吧 That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
是啊 Yeah, uh-huh.
她已经82岁了 Um, she was, you know, 82 years old...
她叫做艾道曼太太 and her name was, um, Mrs. Adelman.
亲爱的 Oh, honey.
感觉好奇怪 It's just so strange. You know...
她可能今天早上起床时想"我先吃点早餐… she probably woke up this morning and thought...
散个步 然后去按摩一下" I'll have some breakfast, take a walk, then have my massage.
但是她不知道上帝想说"好的 但是到此为止" Little did she know God thought, "Okay, but that's it."
但是最诡异的一件事就是… Oh, but the weirdest thing was...
她死的时候 我正在帮她清理灵气 I was cleansing her aura when it happened.
当她的灵魂离开身体… And when her spirit left her body...
我不认为它走远了 I don't think it went very far.
这是什么意思？ What do you mean?
我想它上了我的身 I think it went into me.
真的好难喔 This is so hard.
我没法决定要选羊肉还是鸭肉 I can't decide between lamb or duck.
羊肉比较恐怖 Well, lambs are scarier.
要不然那部电影就会叫做沉默的鸭子 Or the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
好了 谁点了什么？ Okay, who ordered what?
我的是喝了一半的杯缘还有口红印的卡布奇诺 I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
这杯里面有烟屁股的 是无咖啡因的吗？ And this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
我的天啊 Oh, God.
我真不相信你妈过来 你会这么紧张 You're so uptight about your mom coming.
我知道 我不想让她那样认为只是因为 I know. I just don't want her to think that because...
我没嫁给巴瑞 我的人生就是垃圾 I didn't marry Barry my life is crap.
说到完了 你该听听史黛拉·尼德曼 Talk about crap, just listen to Stella Neidman...
不停地重复她跟罗德·史戴格的事 tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
菲比？你觉得这位女士会跟我们在一起多久？ Uh, Pheebs? How long do you think this lady will be with us?
不知道 她一定有未完成的愿望 I don't know. She obviously has some unfinished business.
坐直 Sit up!
她在那边 There she is!
- 妈 - 我的小乖乖 - Mom! - Hey, sweetie!
这就是你工作的地方 So this is where you work!
真是太棒了 Oh, it's wonderful!
这是客厅？还是餐厅？谁分得出来呢？ Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell?
我想乐趣就在这里吧 I guess that's the fun.
差不多啦 这是我的朋友 Pretty much. Here, meet my friends.
摩妮卡 你看起来真美 Monica! You look gorgeous!
天啊 我上次看到你 你还在拼了命地吃 Oh, my! The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
这位是乔伊 Uh, this is Joey.
这位是菲比 This is Phoebe.
这位是钱德 This is Chandler.
你记得罗斯吧？ You remember Ross?
- 你好 罗斯 - 你好 葛林太太 - Oh, hello, Ross. - Hi, Mrs. Green.
你们觉得我女儿如何？穿着围裙… What do you think of my daughter, in the apron...
有份大事业 with the big job!
妈 Oh, Mom!
如果你不倒咖啡 大家都别想喝 If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
相信我 有时真的会这样 Believe me, sometimes that happens.
这真的太让人兴奋了 我从来都没工作过 This is just so exciting! You know, I never worked.
我从我父亲的家直接到姐妹会宿含 I went from my father's house to the sorority house...
然后到我丈夫家 我真是以你为傲 to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you!
真的？ Really?
我知道你让我想起谁 I know who you remind me of.
艾芙林·邓末 Evelyn Durmer.
她做拉皮手术失败之前 现在她长得像苏比·赛尔斯 That's before the lousy face-lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
菲比？艾芙林·邓末是谁？ Pheebs? Ha, ha. Who's Evelyn Durmer?
我不知道 谁是苏比·赛尔斯？ I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales?
我的天 Oh, my God!
那边有一个丑男光着身子在拉大提琴 There's an unattractive nude man playing the cello.
还好他没有演奏小一点的乐器 Just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.
你的生活真棒 小乖乖 You have some life here, sweetie!
妈 我知道你和爸爸都很生气 我没嫁给巴瑞 Mom, I realize you were upset when I didn't marry Barry...
住在郊区的大房子里 有保全 and get the house in the suburbs with all the security.
但是这对我来说好多了 This is just so much better for me.
我知道 你不爱巴瑞 I know. You didn't love Barry, honey.
我从没看你这么快乐过 And I've never seen you this happy.
我看着你 然后想"这就是我想要的" I look at you and I think, "This is what I want."
是说我吧 For me.
不只是你 Well, not just for you.
什么意思？ What do you mean?
我正考虑离开你爸爸 I'm, uh, considering leaving your father.
好了 告诉我这是不是太赞了 All right, tell me if this is too cute.
女同志婚礼 鸡胸肉 Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts.
天啊 我想我快吐了 Oh, God. I think I'm gonna be sick.
怎样？我又没在上面加小乳头 What? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.
- 你不知道他们感情不好？ - 不知道 - You had no idea? - None.
他们不常吵架？ They didn't fight?
才不会 他们根本不说话 No, they didn't even talk to each other.
我怎么会知道他们出问题？ How was I suppose to know they were having problems?
在我的年代 是不能离婚的 You know, in my day, divorce was not an option.
看是谁来了 Hey, look who's up!
我真不敢相信会发生这种事 I just can't believe this is happening.
我小时候 每个人的父母都在离婚 When I was little, all parents got divorced.
我想我已经长大了 就不用担心这个问题 I figured as an adult, I wouldn't have to worry about it.
你可以把这件事当做是种赞美吗？ Can't you look at this as flattering?
她这么做是因为想跟你一样 She just wants to be like you.
她不能模仿我的发型就好了吗？ Well, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
我父母离婚时 他们要我去看心理医师 When my parents divorced, they sent me to a shrink...
她跟我说孩子都会责怪自己 and she told me that kids blame themselves.
但你的状况还真是这样 But in your case, it's actually kind of true.
他来了 Oh, that's him.
可恶 我邮购订的爷爷还没寄到 Damn. My mail-order grandfather hasn't come yet.
- 菲比？ - 你好 艾道曼先生 - Phoebe? - Hi, Mr. Adelman.
- 很高兴见到你 - 谢谢你过来 - Nice to see you. - Thanks for coming.
没关系 尽管你的确打扰了我忙碌的呆坐一天 That's okay. Although you did cut into my busy day of sitting.
要不要坐下？ Um, do you wanna sit?
不用了 我花了 整个早上试着站起来 No, I spent most of my morning trying to stand up.
有什么事情需要帮忙？ What can I do for you, my dear?
好吧 我不知道该怎么说 Okay, I don't know how to say this, but, um...
我认为当你太太的灵魂脱离身体时 I think when your wife's spirit left her body...
有一点困在… it, um, kind of stuck around...
我的身体里 in me.
你说我老婆附在你身上？ You're saying my wife is in you?
对 你不用相信我 但是… Yeah. You don't have to believe me, but...
你知道她有什么没完成的愿望吗？ um, can you think of any unfinished business she had?
她逗留人间的原因？ Any reason to hang around?
我不知道该怎么说 I don't know what to say.
我唯一想到的就是… All I can think of is that...
她常说在死之前 她想要看遍世间所有事 she used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
- 所有事？ - 所有事 - Everything? - Everything.
这样很多耶 Whoa. That's a lot of stuff.
等等… Oh, wait, I...
我记得她也说 她想跟我上最后一次床 I remember she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
对不起 我脑袋里出现笑声 I'm sorry. There's laughing in my head.
值得一试 对吧？ Worth a shot, huh?
你看这个 Ha, ha. Look at this.
这些是三年前的万圣节 These are all Halloween, three years ago.
你看 巴瑞在这里 Oh, and look, here's Barry.
他从办公室直接过去？ He came straight from the office?
不 那是他的变装服 Oh, no. That was his costume.
他其实是牙齿矫正医师 但是他装扮成一般牙医 See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist.
两位？ Um, you guys?
记得我之前说 谢谢 我不需要你们帮忙？ Remember when I said that I don't need your help?
你其实是说… Actually, I think you said:
"别碰那个 滚出我的厨房" "Don't touch that and get out of my kitchen."
真的？真奇怪 不管怎样… Really? Weird. Anyway...
我计划得很好 计划再计划 I planned really well. I planned and planned.
结果我没有计划足够的时间真正煮出来 I just didn't plan enough time to do it.
- 你需要帮忙吗？ - 你想帮的话 - You want some help? - If you want.
- 大家好 - 你好 - Hey. - Hey.
好累的一天 What a day.
我带她到处跑 I took her everywhere.
现代艺术博物馆 洛克菲勒中心 The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center...
自由女神像 the Statue of Liberty.
她还跟着你？ She's still with you?
对啊 我想她还没看完吧 Yes. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet.
我马上回来 她又得跑厕所了 Be right back. She has to go to the bathroom again.
这脸蛋真漂亮 Such a pretty face!
真的好好玩喔 只有女生 Oh, this is so much fun. Just the girls.
你知道我们该做什么？你们有大麻吗？ Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
天啊 God!
听着 不准在这些食物旁抽大麻 Look, no one's smoking pot around all this food.
那就算了 Well, that's fine.
我从来没抽过 我只是想抽抽看 I never did it. I just thought I might.
有没有新的性爱招式？ What's new in sex?
我只跟你爸在一起过 The only man I've been with is your father.
我在切 我在切 什么都没听到 I'm dicing. I'm dicing. I don't hear anything.
这不是不尊重你爸 但是我在想… This is no offense to your dad, but I was thinking...
可能有更精釆的 there might be more.
你知道吗？我不能跟你谈这话题 You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you.
好啦 All right.
你还没告诉爸爸 就来先跟我丢这个炸弹 You come here and drop this bomb on me before you even tell Daddy.
难道你要我祝福你？要我说服你不要这样？ Do you want my blessing? Want me to talk you out of it?
那你到底想怎样？ Then what do you want?
我想只有你会了解 I guess I figured you would understand.
为什么我会了解？ Why on earth would I understand this?
你没嫁给你的巴瑞 女儿 You didn't marry your Barry, honey.
但是我嫁给我的 But I married mine.
噢 Oh.
各位 我们有麻烦了 只剩下12小时36分 We're in trouble. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left.
动作快… Move, move, move!
摩妮卡 我觉得你应该加上德语字慕 I feel like you should have German subtitles.
乔伊 加快速度 Joey, speed it up!
对不起 都是猪的关系 它们不想被卷进去 I'm sorry! It's the pigs! They're reluctant to get in the blanket!
怎么会这样？你不是都计划好了？ How did this happen? I thought you had this planned out.
你要我哭吗？ Do you want me to cry?
你就是想要我哭吗？ Is that what you want?
你想看我哭吗？ Do you wanna see me cry?
不想 长官 Sir, no, sir!
好了 你 All right, you!
不 听着 我跟你说过 这件事我不参与 No. Look, I told you, I am not a part of this thing.
罗斯 我知道你跟卡萝和苏珊之问有心结 我很同情你 Look, Ross. I know you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you.
但如果你不帮忙 我就要拿那些热狗… But if you don't help, I'm gonna take those hot dogs...
创作一道开胃菜叫做罗斯热狗卷 and create an appetizer called "Pigs In Ross."
好 挖香瓜球 All right, ball a melon!
为什么我得切丁 他只要挖香瓜球？ How come I'm stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon?
- 进行得怎么样？ - 很好 照进度进行 - How's it going? - Great! Right on schedule.
我有快乐的帮手 Got my happy helpers.
很好 随便啦 That's fine. Whatever.
怎么了？ What's wrong?
没事 Nothing.
好吧 有事 我们要取消婚礼了 Okay, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.
你还是会付我钱吧？ You're still gonna pay me, right?
或是不要那么自私 Or something a little less selfish.
卡萝 怎么了？发生什么事？ What's the matter? What happened?
我父母今天下午打电话说他们不来 My parents called to say they weren't coming.
我知道他们不能接受这件事 I knew they were having trouble with this, but...
但他们是我父母 应该把我嫁出去 they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away.
苏珊和我大吵一架 我说应该取消婚礼 Susan and I fought because I said maybe we should call it off.
她说"这不是为了他们 是为了我们" She said, "This isn't for them. It's for us."
如果我们不能认知这一点 那就应该取消婚礼 And if I couldn't see that, we should cancel the wedding.
我不知道该怎么做 I don't know what to do.
我不敢相信我会这么说 但是苏珊说的对 I, uh, can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
真的？ You do?
你爱她吗？不需要太强调这件事 Do you love her? And don't be too emphatic about this.
我当然爱她 Of course I do.
那就是了 Well then, that's it.
如果乔治和艾德莱 不能接受 那就别管他们 If George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them.
如果我父母不希望我娶你… If my parents didn't want me to marry you...
他们无法阻止我 no way that would've stopped me.
这是你的婚礼 Look, this is your wedding.
就结吧 Do it.
你说对了 你当然是对的 You're right. Of course you're right.
我们继续罗？ So we're back on?
我们继续 We're back on.
你们听到她说的 剥 切 剁 You heard the woman! Peel! Chop! Devil!
真不敢相信我损失了两分钟 Can't believe I lost two minutes.
看起来很没希望 It just seems so futile.
你知道吗？这么多女人跟没有一样 You know? All these women, and nothing!
我觉得好像 失去神力的超人 了吗？ I feel like Superman without my powers, you know?
我有披风却不能飞 I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
现在你知道我每天有什么感觉了 Well, now you understand how I feel every single day.
这个世界就是我的女同志婚礼 The world is my lesbian wedding.
要吃奶油糖吗？ Butterscotch?
没人要吃？ No one?
好吧 你们等下会后悔的 All right, you'll be sorry later.
噢 Aw.
- 谢谢你 - 不客气 - Thank you. - Anytime.
罗斯 Ross.
没有一件事会让神更快乐… Nothing makes God happier...
两个人 不管是怎样的两个人 能够彼此因爱而结合 than when two people, any two people, come together in love.
亲朋好友 我们今天齐聚一堂 Friends, family, we're gathered here today...
参加卡萝和苏珊神圣的婚礼 to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
我的天 Oh, my God.
现在我什么都看过了 Now I've seen everything!
喔 她走了 Whoa, she's gone.
她走了 She's gone.
继续结婚吧 快点 Go ahead, get married. Go, go!
∮ Strangers in the night Exchanging glances ∮
∮ Wondering in the night ∮
你看看她们 Would you look at them?
对 忍不住不看 Yeah. Can't help but.
你觉得这个热狗卷好不好吃？ How's that pig-in-the-blanket working out for you?
那是我卷的喔 I wrapped those bad boys.
- 我好想萝丝 - 是吗？ - I miss Rose. - Oh, yeah?
我知道有点奇怪 但是她是我生命很重要的一部分 I know it's kind of weird, but she was a big part of my life...
不知道 我觉得好寂寞 I don't know, I feel alone.
我刚不小心听到你说的话 You know, I, uh, couldn't help overhearing what you just said.
我想你应该忘记萝丝 继续过你的人生 I think it's time you forget about Rose, move on with your life.
我们去帮你拿杯酒好吗？ How about we get you a drink?
好啊 你真好 Okay. So nice!
我连想句搭讪的话都不用 对吗？ I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right?
妈 好玩吗？ Hey, Mom, having fun?
我刚跟一个很棒的魁梧女人跳舞 Am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman.
还有三个女生 在自助餐吧跟我抛媚眼 And three other girls made eyes at me over at the buffet.
我不是说这是我想追求的东西 I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue...
但是很高兴知道我还有别的选择 but it's nice to know I have options.
还有酒对吧？ Ahem, there's more alcohol, right?
你好吗？ How you doing?
很好 Okay.
你今天做了好事 You did a good thing today.
要不要跳舞？ You wanna dance?
不用 没关系 No, that's fine.
来嘛 Come on.
我让你带舞 I'll let you lead.
好吧 Okay.
听着 有没有鸟不重要 Look, penis, schmenis!
好吗？我们都是人 Okay? We're all people.
我们之中谁会最先结婚？ Which one of us is gonna be the first one to get married?
摩妮卡 我结过婚了 Mon, I was married.
- 我也是 技术上来说 - 我办过婚礼 - Yeah, me too, technically. - I had a wedding.
好吧 我只想找话聊 Just trying to start a discussion.
我知道了 我们之中谁会最晚结婚？ Which one do you think will be the last to get married?
小班也有算吧？ Isn't Ben in this?
- 当然 - 一定是的 - Of course! - Absolutely.