不好意思 这里… Ah, excuse me, this is a...
不开放 我们知道 可是我们是猴子的朋友 Closed set. We know. But we're friends with the monkey, hmm?
早安 Good morning.
嘿 小朋友 看我带谁来了 Look who I brought!
是你的朋友亨利·伊凡提 Your old friend, Harry Elafonte!
噢 真令人难过啊 Whoa, dude. Burn!
我不懂啊 I don't get it.
他昨天看到我的时候很开心啊 He seemed so happy to see me yesterday.
别放在心上 他拍电影的压力很大 Don't take it personal. He's under pressure, starring in a movie and all.
噢 Oh.
马塞尔有多大牌？ How big of a star is Marcel?
以人类的标准来看吗？我想他应该是… In human terms? I'd say...
- 西碧儿·雪柏 - 哇 - Cybill Shepherd. - Whoa.
- 真的吗？ - 哇 - Really? - Whoa.
你们是剧中演员 还是疯子？ So you guys in the movie or you just really paranoid?
- 嘿 塞尔 - 嗯哼 - Hey, Sal? - Mm-hm?
杰瑞要知道猴子准备好了没？ Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready.
不好意思 Excuse me?
杰瑞是导演吗？他是哪一位？ Jerry is the director? Which one's he?
- 坐在导演椅上的那个 - 知道了 - The one in the director's chair? - Gotcha.
菲比 陪我一起走 Pheebs, walk with me.
好 Okay.
为什么要我跟你一起去？ Um, why am I walking with you?
我们过来这里是因为可以逃离… Well, uh, we're just going over here so that we can get away from...
可怕的病毒侵袭 the horrible flesh-eating virus!
天啊 听我说 For the love of God, woman, listen to me!
他有在看吗？有吗？ Is he looking? Is he looking?
没有人告诉你活着有多累 ∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 ∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 ∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
日复一日 年复一年 ∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
时运不济 活着受罪 ∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
纵有狂风暴雨 ∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
支持一如往昔 ∮ Like I've been there before ∮
你我永不离弃 ∮ I'll be there for you ∮
- 我们有麻烦了 - 说吧 - We've got a problem. - Tell me.
我没办法帮克莉丝化妆 I can't do Chris' makeup.
她拒绝承认自己有胡子 She refuses to acknowledge her mustache.
- 很严重吗？ - 她的胡子多到像眉毛掉下来 - Is it bad? - It looks like her eyebrow fell down.
如果我们不能说服她把胡子漂白 Unless we convince her to let me bleach it...
范达美会像在亲盖伯·卡普兰一样 Jean-Claude Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
我去跟她说 I'll talk to her.
我讨厌演员 I hate actors.
你的迷彩装真不错 我差点就没看到你 Nice camouflage. For a minute there, I almost didn't see you.
- 不好意思 - 噢 - Excuse me. Whoa. - Ah!
你叫做钱德吗？ Uh, is your name Chandler?
是的 Uh, yes, it is.
你是钱德·宾？ Chandler Bing.
你认识我吗？还是很会玩游戏？ Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
我是苏西·摩斯 I'm Susie Moss.
四年级？戴眼镜的那个？ Fourth grade? Glasses?
我以前随身带一盒动物饼干 像在拿皮包一样 I carried a box of animal crackers like a purse?
苏西·摩斯 Susie Moss!
是你啊 哇 Right! Yeah! Wow!
你看起来… You look...
转大人转得真好 Great job growing up.
还好你没戴着 贴满小镜子的牛仔帽子 It's nice to see you don't still wear the cap with the mirrors on it.
四年级结束以后 我才了解自己不是拉皮条的 Oh, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp.
还记得班级话剧表演吗？ Heh, heh. Remember the class play?
你掀了我的裙子 让全礼堂的人都看到我的内裤？ You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants?
我记得 那时候我用幽默来保护自己 Yes. Back then, I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism.
还好我现在不会这样了 Thank God I don't do that anymore.
- 我的天啊 - 怎样？ - Oh, my God! - What? What?
是尚克劳范达美耶 It's Jean-Claude Van Damme.
我不知道他也有演这部剧 他超帅的 I didn't know he was in this movie. He is so hot!
有吗？ You think?
布鲁塞尔的肌肉男 尚克劳范达美？ The Muscles from Brussels? Wham-Bam-Van-Damme?
你看过《时空特警》吗？ Did you see Timecop?
没有 他演得好吗？ No. Was he any good in it?
瑞秋 他转换了时空耶 Rachel, he totally changed time!
哇 Wow.
- 你去跟他搭讪啊 - 少来 - So why don't you go talk to him? - Oh. Yeah.
过去告诉他他很帅 你怕什么？ Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?
他有可能会听到我说话 He could hear me.
噢 Oh.
- 我去帮你说 - 你敢 不行 - I'm doing it for you. - Don't you dare! Don't!
不行 Don't!
跟他说我会煮菜 Tell him I cook!
不好意思 Excuse me.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. Ha, ha. - Hi.
我这样说 你可能会觉得有点怪… Um, this is gonna sound kind of goofy. Ha, ha.
我的朋友… But, um, my friend over there...
她很会煮菜 who cooks, by the way...
她觉得你很帅 Um, she thinks you're cute. Heh.
你不觉得我帅吗？ You don't think I'm cute?
我不知道耶 I don't know. Um...
你觉得你帅吗？ Do you think you're cute?
话题扯远了 我是来告诉你… We're getting off the track. Um, I was supposed to tell you...
我朋友觉得你很帅 my friend thinks you're cute.
你有什么话想对她说吗？ What should I tell her?
你可以跟她说 我觉得她朋友很美 You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
- 哦 哈哈 - 呃？ - Oh. Ha, ha. - Huh?
哇噢 哈哈 Whoa. Ha, ha.
- 化妆 - 他们在叫我 我得走了 - Makeup! - Oh, that's me. I gotta go.
喔 Oh, uh...
好 Okay.
我还得摸你的手臂几次 你才会约我出去呢？ Um, how many times do I have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date?
再来一次看看 Well, uh, let's try one more.
这就对了 8点在厄尼餐厅好吗？ There you go. Ernie's, 8:00?
到时候见了 I'll be there.
如果一切顺利的话 或许这次… And if things go well, maybe this time...
我会看到你的内裤 I'll get to see your underwear.
竟然没人听到我们的对话？ No one was around to hear that?
- 他说什么？ - 呃 - So, what'd he say? - Ugh!
真是个混蛋 What a jerk!
我一直跟他说你的事情 可是他一直想约我出去 I kept talking about you, and he kept asking me out.
噢 Oh.
我当然是拒绝他了 Naturally, you know, I said no.
还是… Well...
谢了 不管怎样 Thanks, anyway.
后来他一直约我… He just kept asking...
一直问 一直问… and asking, asking, asking...
瑞秋 如果你想跟他约会 那就去啊 If you want to go out with him, you can.
虽然我觉得这样很过分 可是… Sounds like a jerk to me, but...
尚克劳 她答应了 今晚见 Jean-Claude, she said yes! I'll see you tonight!
谢谢你 Thank you.
然后尚克劳带我去时代广场酒吧 Then Jean-Claude took me to Crossroads...
还跟茱儿·芭莉摩一起聊天 and we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
哇 她超辣的 Oh, man. She's so smoking!
她有超棒的… She's got the greatest set of...
这里好像只有我是男的喔 No guys around, huh?
- 有人想喝东西吗？ - 我要浓缩咖啡 - Anybody need anything? - Oh, I'll have an espresso.
我自己来好了 Oh, I'll get it.
如果要你帮我点 可能最后会被你喝掉 If I ask you to, you'll end up drinking it yourself.
- 她这样说太不公平了 - 对啊 - That is so unfair. - I know.
你怎么可能抢了范达美之后 还把她的咖啡喝掉？ Like you'd drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme?
乔伊 今晚我不能跟你打壁球了 I have to cancel racquetball tonight.
马塞尔的训练师 愿意把他借给我几小时 Marcel's trainer will let me have him for a couple of hours.
你为了一只猴子放我鸽子？ You're blowing me off for a monkey?
我们可以改到礼拜六再打球啊 We can reschedule for Saturday.
对 除非你搭上一群鸽子 Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
嘿 Hey.
拿根叉子刺我吧 Stick a fork in me...
我熟了 I am done!
呃 Uh...
用叉子什么？ Stick a fork what?
像你煎牛排那样啊 Like when you're cooking a steak.
我不吃肉 Oh, I don't eat meat.
那你怎么知道青菜熟了没？ How do you know vegetables are done?
不知道啊 吃了就会知道 Well, you don't. You eat them and you can tell.
那就吃我吧 我熟了 Okay, then eat me, I'm done!
唔 Mm.
- 我碰到了完美的女人 - 什么？ - I've met the perfect woman. - What?
我们坐在沙发上 在亲热… We're sitting on her couch, fooling around...
突然她转过来对我说 and then she turns to me and says:
"你想在电梯里做吗？" "Did you ever want to do it in an elevator?"
你说了什么？ What did you say?
我想我当时说的是… I believe my exact words were:
你怎么知道要不要在电梯里做？ How do you know if you wanna do that?
你就是会知道 Oh, you just know.
我们得走了 我有一个30分钟内的餐厅预约 Oh, we gotta go. Got a reservation in 30 minutes.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
我想做的事 应该不会超过两 三分钟 What I had planned shouldn't take more than two, three minutes, tops.
两百秒钟的热情 我们得走了 Two hundred seconds of passion! We gotta go.
不过… But, um...
我有个建议 here's an idea.
你有穿过女人的内裤吗？ Have you ever worn women's underwear?
其实有耶… Well, yes, actually...
可是我穿的是爱德娜阿姨的内裤 but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's.
而且一共有三个人一起穿 And there were three of us in there.
我在想如果你今晚吃饭时 I was thinking it would be, um, kind of sexy...
穿我的内裤 一定会很性感 if you wore mine tonight at dinner.
你要我穿你的内裤？ You want me to wear your panties?
可以吗？ Could you?
如果我穿你的内裤 If I was wearing your underwear...
那你要穿什么？ then, uh, what would you be wearing?
你真是火辣 You're swell!
你看 我做了 马塞尔最爱的香蕉蛋糕 I made Marcel's favorite dish, banana cake...
还加了粉虱 Ooh. ...with mealworm.
啊 Ah.
- 蜡烛 - 哈哈 - Candle. Ha, ha. - Ha, ha.
你想今晚会发生什么事呢？ What do you think is gonna happen here tonight?
喂 你好 Hello.
你准备要过来吗？ Oh, hi, are you on your way over...?
噢 Oh.
没关系 我了解 猴子工作很忙 No, I understand. A monkey's gotta work.
没什么大不了的 It's no big deal.
我也没特别准备什么 It's not like I, uh, had anything special planned, you know.
好 好 再见 Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay, bye.
瑞秋 你先说吧 Okay. Rachel, why don't you start talking first?
好 我根本什么都没做错 All right. I feel that this is totally unjustified.
她说可以的啊 我什么都没做… She gave me the green light, I did nothing...
你以为我不能 从电视萤慕看到你吗？ Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
摩妮卡 你有什么想说的…？ Monica, if there's something you'd like to share...
你没权利跟他出去 You had no right to date him!
- 这太扯了… - 你出卖我 - That's the most ridiculous... - You sold me out!
- 我没有 - 你就是有… - I did not! - You absolutely...
你让我说完好不好？ Would you let me talk!
你弹我的额头？ Did you just flick me?
因为你不等我说完… Well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was...
- 很痛耶 - 噢 - Ow, that hurt! - Ow.
不要弹了 Quit flicking!
你才不要弹了 Ow! Stop flicking!
你先弹我额头的 You flicked me first!
喔 Ow!
噢 Ow!
不要这样 Okay, no, no.
不要这样 Let's not do this!
- 快 想点快乐的事情 - 不要 - Come on. Happy thoughts. - No! No!
想点快乐的事情 想点快乐的事情 Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!
不要 不要 No! Ow! No!
- 噢 噢 - 我的天 住手 - Oh! Oh! - Oh, God!
噢 喔 Oh! Ow!
够了 我要出手了 Now I'm gonna kick some ass!
- 噢 - 噢 - Ow. - Ow.
噢 噢 噢 Ow, ow, ow.
好 你们住手的话我就放手 All right. Now, I will let go if you both stop.
- 你希望我不要跟他见面吗？ - 嗯哼 - Oh! You want me to stop seeing him? - Uh-huh.
你要我跟他说 他应该跟你约会吗？ You want me to just tell him you're seeing him instead?
- 你就是要这样吗？ - 好 - Is that what you want? - Okay.
你要这样就是了？ Oh, that's what you want?
对 Yes.
- 好 - 好 - Fine! - Fine!
很好 There we go.
- 噢 - 哦 - Ow. - Oh.
如果我们在监狱坐牢的话 你们就会是我的喽罗耶 Ha. If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
谢谢你们让我加入 Thanks for letting me tag along.
别客气啦 Forget about it.
- 你还好吧？ - 我还撑得住 - How you doing there, squirmy? - I'm hanging in.
有点跑出来了 And a little out.
你是导演的助理啊？ So assistant to the director?
这个工作真棒 你的责任一定很大… That's an exciting job. You must have a ton of responsibilities...
我不负责选角 I don't do the casting.
你们想吃什么？ So, what are you guys gonna eat?
为什么我只想把冰块含在嘴里 How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth...
然后舔遍你全身呢？ and licking you all over?
因为我上的是男子高中 现在上帝要补偿我了？ Because I went to an all-boys high school, and God is making up for it?
我现在就想要你… I want you right here...
此时此刻 right now.
此时此刻？ Right now, right here?
你不觉得 这里算是公共场合吗？ Don't you think we're in kind of a public place?
菜单里真的有虾子呢 They do have the shrimp.
- 噢 - 跟我在厕所里会合 - Oh. - Meet me in the bathroom.
我要去上厕所 I'm going to the bathroom now.
来吧 Come on.
好了 先生 All right, mister.
让我看看你的内裤吧 Let's see those panties.
好啊 Alrighty.
噢 噢 Ooh. Ooh.
你知道怎样会更性感吗？ But you know what would be even sexier?
怎样？ What?
如果你没把上衣塞进去的话 If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
噢 Oh.
好 现在呢 我要看你只穿内裤的样子 All right. Now, I would like to see you wearing nothing but them.
把衣服脱掉 Take your clothes off.
我要提醒你… But, uh, I hope you realize this means...
这样会错过服务生介绍特餐的时间 we'll miss hearing about the specials.
快点 Come on, hurry!
你是只想匆促了事 还是要按部就班来？ Do you want this done quick or done right?
好 转过身去 我要看你的背后 All right, turn around. I wanna see you from behind.
有人很认真的 照着健身录影带做喔 Oh, oh. Somebody's been doing his Buns of Steel video.
你要我夹紧什么东西吗？ So you want me to, uh, clench anything or?
苏西？ Susie?
这是你四年级时欺负我的报应 This, ha, ha, is for the fourth grade.
- 你在说什么？ - 我在说什么？ - Huh? What do you mean? - What do I mean?
什么叫"你在说什么"？ What do I mean?
就是我内裤的那件事 先生 我在说那个 I mean underpants, mister! That's what I mean!
什么？你在说什么？ What? What do you mean?
我的裙子… My skirt...
你掀了我的裙子 全部的小孩都笑我 you lifted. Kids laughing!
我一直到十八岁都是内裤苏西 I was Susie Underpants till I was 18!
那是四年级的事情 你怎么会气到现在？ That was in fourth grade! How could you still be upset?
嗯… Well, um...
你二十年后打电话给我 告诉我你还气不气今天的事吧 Call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this.
你要知道 你的内裤我不会还你了喔 I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back!
我真是不敢相信 I can't believe this. Ha, ha.
两个礼拜前 我还在看《绝命杀阵》… Just two weeks ago, I was watching Sudden Death...
现在我却在跟尚克劳范达美约会 and now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
你可以打倒那个人吗？ Can you beat up that guy?
可以 Yeah.
- 你可以打倒那个人吗？ - 当然 - Can you beat up that guy? - Sure.
实在是太棒了 Oh, this is so wild.
我得承认 我很讶异你会答应跟我来个盲目约会 I gotta admit, I was surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
通常我是不会答应的 Normally, I would not do it.
是吗？ Yeah?
那为什么会为我破例？ What made you make the exception for me?
因为瑞秋跟我说 Rachel told me, uh...
你非常想跟我和茱儿·巴莉摩来个三人行 you were dying to have a threesome with me and, uh, Drew Barrymore.
对了 茱儿有些原则… By the way, Drew has some ground rules and...
- 快跟我说对不起 - 不要 - Say you're sorry! - No!
- 瑞秋 说 Say it!
不要 我不要 No! I'm not gonna!
- 说 你说啊 很好 - 噢 - Say it! Say it! Great! - Oh!
瑞秋 Rachel.
跟我说对不起 不然你的毛衣就要毁了 Say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
那是我最爱的毛衣 是我第三次约会必穿的毛衣 That is my favorite sweater! That is my third-date sweater!
说对不起 Say you're sorry.
你要玩是吧？那就来玩吧 You wanna play? Okay, let's play.
来玩啊 Let's play.
你想干嘛？ What are you gonna do?
把我毛衣还来 不然我就把义大利面酱倒进你包包里 Give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
你才没胆那样做 You don't have the guts.
是吗？至少我不会没胆跟喜欢的人说他很帅 Yeah? At least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy he was cute.
住手 停止这疯狂的行径 Oh, all right, stop! Stop the madness!
你们这样太扯了 This is crazy!
你们谁还记得你们本来在吵什么吗？ Who can remember why you're fighting in the first place?
对 没错 Yes, that's right.
可是… But still...
看看你的包包 Look at your purse!
看看你的毛衣 Look at your sweater!
看看你们两个 Look at yourselves!
我会帮你把毛衣补好 I'll help you fix your sweater.
我会帮你… I'll help you...
把包包丢掉 throw out your purse.
很抱歉我强迫你不要跟他约会 I'm sorry I made you stop seeing him.
我很抱歉我明知道你喜欢他 却还是跟他出去 I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
我很抱歉我跟你借了手套 I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves.
乔伊？ Joey?
妈？ Ma?
乔伊 Joey!
钱德？你怎么还在这儿？我以为你们已经走了 What are you doing here? I thought you guys took off.
不 不 不 是她走了 还把我的衣服拿走 She took off with my clothes!
- 你什么都没穿喔？ - 不完全是 - Are you naked in there? - Well, not exactly.
我穿着丁字裤 I'm wearing panties.
呵 Huh.
你都穿丁字裤吗？ You, uh, always wear panties?
不 这是我第一次穿 No, no. This is the first time.
哇 你运气也太差了吧 Wow. Talk about your bad luck!
才第一次试穿丁字裤 衣服就被人偷走 I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
我不是要试穿 是苏西要我穿的 I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them.
让我看看 Let me see!
不要 我才不要让任何人看 No! I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever!
好啦 好啦 All right, all right!
哇 Whoa.
有人很爱现喔 Someone's flossing!
乔伊 不是每个人都喜欢你这样做 Joey, some people don't like that.
钱德穿着丁字裤耶 Chandler's wearing panties.
什么？ What?
- 我看看 - 你不用看吧 - Let me see! - You don't have to see!
嗨 翘臀 Hi, tushy!
- 内裤借我穿 - 不行 - One of you give me your underpants. - Oh, no.
我帮不了你 我没穿内裤 I'm not wearing any.
你怎么会没穿内裤？ How can you not be wearing any?
因为看到一个男的穿了粉红丁字裤 让我火热难耐 Oh. I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot-pink thong.
罗斯 我用50块买你的内裤 Look, Ross. I'll give you $50 for your underpants.
嗨 Hey.
- 菲比 可以把牛奶给我吗？ - 我快加好了 - Can I have the milk? - I'm almost done with it.
别把丁字裤给脱了 Keep your panties on.
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
- 我被电影剧组录取啦 - 耶 - And I'm in the movie! - Hey.
- 你怎么办到的？ - 有个演病人的生病了 - What happened? - A virus victim called in sick...
凯西跟导演推荐我 我现在要死在担架上啦 so Cathy recommended me and boom! I'm dying on a gurney!
- 嘿 - 噢 - Hey! - Oh.
罗斯 马塞尔拍完最后一场戏了 你如果想跟他道别要快点去 Oh, Marcel just finished his last scene, if you wanna go say goodbye.
没关系 他大概还要 参加杀青派对之类的 Uh, that's okay. He's probably got parties to go to and stuff.
你知道的 他已经有了新的生活 本来就应该这样的 对吧？ You know, he's moved on. That's the way it goes, right?
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
怎么了？ What?
我想要写首歌纪念这件事 I think I want to write a song about all this.
- 是吗？ - 是啊 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
可是我的吉他有条弦断了 Ooh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken.
钱德 可以借我你的丁字裤吗？ Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
- 你等着说这句话等多久了？ - 大概二十分钟了吧 - How long you been waiting to say that? - About 20 minutes!
你们还搞不清楚状况吗？这个人快死了 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying!
卡 Cut!
你们还搞不清楚状况吗？这个人快死了 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying!
卡 Cut!
你们还搞不清楚状况吗？这个人快死了 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying!
- 妈咪 - 噢 - Mommy! - Ah.
你们还搞不清楚状况吗？这个人已经死了 Can't you see what's going on? This man is dead!