- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
嘿 Hey.
怎么了 森林让你不爽了 So, what happened? Did a forest tick you off?
不是 No.
我们一直说需要放信件的地方 You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail.
对 Yeah.
所以我就开工了 Well, I started building one.
然后呢 我决定更加完善一点 But then I decided to take it to the next step.
你在盖邮局 You're building a post office?
不是 是一个娱乐专用柜 内含信件柜 No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in.
- 最多一天搞定 - 好吧 - It's a one-day job, max. - Okay.
天啊 你的裤子有够紧 My word, those are snug.
对 这是我的旧工作裤 Oh, yeah. These are my old work pants.
意大利名牌 Sergio Valente.
刚才电锯有点失控 Power saw kind of got away from me there.
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 # # When the rain starts to pour #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 支持一如往昔 # # Like I've been there before #
# 你我永不离弃 # # I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 你有见到你弟吗 - 还没 不过他老是迟到 - Any sign of your brother? - No, but he's always late, so...
- 你不是只见过他一次吗 - 是啊 - I thought you only met him once. - Yeah, I did.
这样讲很有姊姊的口气 "法兰克老是迟到" I think it sounds, you know, big sister-y, "Frank's always late." So...
放轻松 他会来的 Oh. Well, relax. He'll be here.
我知道 我只是很紧张 Yeah, no, I know. I'm just nervous.
我妈死了 我不和我姊姊说话 You know, it's just, you know, Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister...
奶奶最近睡很多觉 ...Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately.
这是我感受家人温暖的最后机会 It's just the "last desperate chance to have a family" kind of thing.
你真窝心 还陪我等 You're so sweet to wait with me.
其实是阿甘叫我来的 其实杯子不能拿出店外 Well, actually, Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here.
还有谁觉得大卫•考柏菲可爱 Does anyone else think David Copperfield's cute?
没有人 不过他告诉我他觉得你很辣 No, but he told me he thinks you're a fox.
珍妮丝喜欢他 All right. Janice likes him.
喜欢到把他放进她的名人性幻想名单里 In fact, she likes him so much, she put him on her, uh, freebie list.
她的什么 Her what?
我们说好每人可以挑五个名人上床 We have a deal where we each pick five different celebrities we could sleep with...
另一个人不准生气 ...and the other one can't get mad.
这是健康男女关系的关键 Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship:
诚实 尊重 与名人上床 Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
钱德 你的名单上有谁 So, Chandler, who's on your list?
金•贝辛格 Uh, Kim Basinger...
辛蒂•克劳馥 荷莉•贝瑞 ...Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry...
雅丝敏•布丽丝 ...Yasmine Bleeth...
和杰西卡小兔 ...and Jessica Rabbit.
你知道她是卡通人物 而且你根本配不上她吗 Ahem. Now, you do realize that she is a cartoon and way out of your league?
我知道 我是看看我能不能让她的眼珠掉出来 I know. I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
摩妮卡 你会选谁 Hey, Monica, who would yours be?
我得先交男友才能列名单 First I need a boyfriend. Then I can have a list.
只是好玩嘛 小摩 It's just a game, Mon.
瑞秋 你呢 Rach, how about you?
不知道 也许是克里斯•欧唐纳 小约翰•甘乃迪 Oh, I don't know. I guess Chris O'Donnell, John F. Kennedy Jr...
丹尼尔•戴路易斯 史汀 和派克•史蒂文森 ...Daniel Day-Lewis, Sting and Parker Stevenson.
蜘珠人 Spider-Man?
哈迪男孩 Hardy Boy.
- 是彼得•帕克 - 谢谢 - Peter Parker. - Thank you.
你呢 你会选谁 What about you, honey? Who'd be on your list?
这种事需要深思熟虑 I... Oh, that kind of thing requires some serious thought.
我会先把可能人选分门别类 First, I'll divide my prospective candidates into categories.
真是个怪人 Ahem. What a geek.
各位 这是法兰克 我的同父异母弟弟 法兰克 Everybody, this is Frank. This is my half brother, Frank.
- 这是大家 - 嘿 - This is everybody. - Hey.
- 这是罗斯 - 你好 - This is Ross. - Hi, how are you?
- 这是钱德 - 嗨 - Chandler. - Hi.
- 嗨 - 这是乔伊 - Hi. - Joey.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi, hi, hi.
这是摩妮卡 This is Monica.
- 这是瑞秋 - 嗨 - And this is Rachel. - Hi.
我去点咖啡 I'm gonna get coffee for us.
你们怎么把事情做完的 Hey, how do you guys get anything done? Ha, ha.
我们是没做什么事 We don't, really.
你们有什么计划吗 Well, so do you guys have big plans?
有 我们要好好的联络感情 Oh, yeah. We're gonna, like, connect and, you know, bond and everything.
我们想去时代广场 找几个忍者明星 I was thinking we could go down to Times Square and pick up some ninja stars.
我朋友莱利拜托我要拍几张妓女的照片 Oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
我们都没好好利用住在纽约的机会 You know, we really don't take advantage of living in the city.
抱歉 我钻到你了吗 Oh, sorry. Did I get you?
不 你没有钻到我 No, you didn't get me.
那可是电钻 你要是钻到我 你就已经杀死我了 It's an electric drill. You get me, you kill me!
别激动 你到底要不要这个柜子 Calm down. Do you want this unit or not?
我不要这个柜子 I do not want this unit.
干嘛不早说 我又不会读心术 Well, you should've told me before. I'm not a mind reader.
没有啤酒了 我要去摩妮卡那边 And we're out of beer. Okay, I'm going to Monica's.
好 Fine.
嘿 你穿这样要去哪里 穿越时空吗 Hey. Where you heading in those pants? 1982?
摩妮卡 听着… Oh, Monica, listen...
我在五金店看到名人设计的瓷砖在热卖 ...I saw down at the hardware store they got those designer tiles on sale...
你可以重铺浴室地板 ...if you wanna redo your bathroom floor.
我的浴室地板怎么了 What's wrong with my bathroom floor?
没什么 只是又旧又暗 Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all.
- 没有这回事 - 是吗 - I highly doubt that. - Oh, yeah?
你把篮子移开… 就能看到瓷砖原来的颜色 If you move your hamper, you can see the color the tile used to be.
没错 Yeah.
我怎么能这样过日子 怎么办 I can't live like this. What are we gonna do?
别激动 拿着 Relax, relax. Here, hold this.
瓷砖一撬就掉 我弄给你看 This old stuff comes right up. I'll show you.
你给我看的比我想像的还多 A little more than I wanted to see.
看看 漆沾得多紧啊 Look at that. Every inch of this is glued down.
这要撬一辈子 我看就算了 It'd take forever to pry this up. You should, uh... You should just leave it.
怎么能不管 你在我的旧地板上撬了个洞 I can't leave it. You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
这样就好了 Ah? There you go.
这样挺好的 Yeah, that's nice.
小心我塞进你的屁股里 You know, we can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon.
- 什么 - 是啊 - What? - Yeah.
我知道我要问什么了 你会卷舌头吗 I know what I wanted to ask you. Can you roll your tongue?
因为我会 但是我妈不会 Because I can and my mom couldn't.
我想那一定是来自我们的爸爸的遗传 And I thought, you know... I figured that was something I got from our dad.
- 等一下 你是说这么做 - 对 - Well, wait, you mean like this? - Yeah.
对 你也会 Yeah, you can do it too. Yeah.
你没有卷啊 You're not doing it.
好吧 所以是我妈会 我不会 Oh, right, okay. Yeah, my mom could and I can't.
我们这一点不一样 So we don't have that.
- 你的生日是哪一天 - 2月16日 - When's your birthday? - February 16th.
我认识一个18日生的人 I know a guy who's the 18th.
蛮近的 That's close.
- 你的生日呢 - 10月25日 - When's yours? - October 25th.
跟万圣节同一个月 That's the same month as Halloween.
是啊 Yeah.
你在家里喜欢做什么 So, what kind of things do you like to do at home?
烧东西 Melt stuff.
- 好 我已经挑了三个 - 三个什么 - Okay, I've got three of my five. - Three of your five what?
可以上床的名人 Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with.
天哪 你还真慎重 God, you are giving this a lot of thought.
很难挑 好吗 我只剩两个空缺 Hey, it's hard, okay? I only have two spots left.
你筛选出谁了 All right. Who you got it narrowed down to?
好 伊丽莎白•赫莉 Okay. Ahem. Elizabeth Hurley.
- 很迷人 - 是啊 - Ooh, very attractive. - Yeah.
宽容 Forgiving.
苏珊•莎兰登 Susan Sarandon.
知道吗 她太政治化了 Eh, you know what? She's too political.
她可能会叫你先捐四罐食品罐头 She probably wouldn't let you do it unless you donated four cans of food first.
还有伊莎贝拉•罗塞里尼 And Isabella Rossellini.
很辣 很性感 Ooh. Very hot. Very sexy.
但是太国际化了 她不会待在你身边的 But, uh, you know, she's too international. She's never gonna be around.
- 所以呢 - 所以你得挑可能性大一点的 - So? - So you gotta play the odds.
挑一个会一直在国内的人 Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country, like, all the time.
对啊 你之所以搞不定伊莎贝拉 因为地理因素 Yeah. Because that's why you won't get Isabella Rossellini. Geography.
你说的熔化就真的是熔化 Okay, so by "melting," you meant melting.
是啊 Yeah.
- 这是艺术吗 - 要烧艺术品也可以 - So is it, like, art? - Yeah, you can melt art.
可以借用你的电话吗 Hey, can I use your phone?
- 当然 你要打给你妈 - 不是 我想拿来烧 - Yeah, sure. You wanna call your mom? - No, I wanna melt it.
现在不行 Oh. Well, um, not right now.
我要去睡了 烟熏得我头痛 You know what? I'm just gonna go to bed. The fumes are giving me a headache. So...
好的 Yeah. Yeah. Ha, ha.
晚安 老弟 Good night, bro.
晚安 Good night.
拿去 Here.
以防万一 Just in case.
太棒了 Oh, excellent.
- 那是什么空手道 - 什么都不是 - What kind of karate is that? - No kind.
那是他瞎讲的 He just makes it up.
- 你们处得怎样 - 到目前为止很糟 - So how's it going with you guys? - So far it kind of blows.
我以为他会更有弟弟的感觉 I don't know, I just thought, you know, that he'd feel more like a brother.
就像你和罗斯亲密融洽 Like you and Ross. Just close and connected and...
现在是很亲 但是你不会相信 在以前… Oh. We're close now, but you wouldn't believe the years...
我们又吵又打 又拉又扯 ...of noogies and wedgies and flying wedgies and atomic wedgies and...
然后裙子就会被扯到头上来 That's when the waistband actually goes over your head.
我们还用影子游戏去烦对方 We drove each other crazy playing the shadow game.
- 怎么玩影子游戏 - 怎么玩影子游戏 - How do you play the shadow game? - How do you play the shadow game?
- 我在问你啊 - 我在问你啊 - I just asked you. - I just asked you.
我没空跟你闹 I don't have time for this.
- 这个游戏就是这么玩 - 你放弃得真快 - No, that is what the game is. - Well, you just gave up really quickly.
- 有看到乔伊吗 - 怎么了 - Have you seen Joey? - What's the matter?
就是这个 Oh, just this.
其实是我不好 沙发就是用来放亮光漆的 It's my fault, really, because the couch is where we usually keep the varnish.
谁把瓷砖拿给我 Hey, somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles?
- 发生什么事 - 他在帮我重铺地板 - What's going on? - He's retiling my floor.
喂 你这个泥水匠 Yo, spackle boy.
- 给我起来 - 你要有始有终 - Get up. - Ah-ah. You started this, you will finish it.
是我先受害的 He started mine first.
灰姑娘 去钉柜子 灰姑娘 去铺瓷砖 Build the unit, Cinderellie. Lay the tile, Cinderellie.
大章鱼 Big octopus.
是啊 Yeah.
喂 Hello?
天哪 我忘得一干二净 Oh, my God. I totally forgot.
不能找别人吗 Well, can't someone else do it?
但是我有客人 But I have company.
没关系 我去 Yeah, no, look, that's all right. I'll come in. Okay.
对不起 我得去工作 Um, I'm really sorry, but I have to go into work.
我的一个固定客户 他坚持要让我做 It's one of my regulars. He's insisting that I do him, so...
你在做什么工作 Hey, what kind of work do you do?
我是按摩师 我帮客人按摩 I'm a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff.
你在那种按摩院工作 You work at one of those massage parlors?
我们不那样叫 不过没错 Well, you know, we don't call it that. But, yeah.
好劲爆 Whoa, that's wild.
我完全不知道 No, I had no idea. Ha-ha-ha.
好吧 Alrighty. Heh.
我过一下下就回来 除非你想跟我去 I'll be back in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me.
你是说去旁观吗 You mean, like, watch?
不 你也可以享受服务 而且是免费招待 No. No, you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house.
不然要大姊干什么 You know, what are big sisters for? Ha, ha.
我并没有这么想 Well, I don't think this. You know?
不 我不会亲自服务你 No, no, no. I wouldn't do you myself.
那样很奇怪 I mean, that would be weird.
我会请其他女孩来做 Yeah. I'll get one of the other girls to do it.
会很好玩的 Ooh, this is so much fun. Yay! Ha, ha.
- 你觉得兴奋吗 - 是啊 - Are you excited? - Yeah.
摩妮卡和瑞秋也在那里工作吗 Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?
好漂亮 It's beautiful.
好像原本就应该是这个样子一样 It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was.
你想进去干什么 What are you going in there for?
你想知道大便或小便吗 You want, like, a number?
- 嘿 - 再见 - Hey. - Hi. Bye.
好 我选好了 Okay. I'm done with my choices.
这是最后名单 These are final.
- 终于 - 对啊 好正式 - Well, it's about time. - Yeah. Very official.
对 这是钱德用他的电脑印的 Oh, yeah. Well, you know, Chandler printed it up on his computer.
谁拿去塑封的 And who laminated it?
是我 That was me.
拿来我看看 All right, let me see. Ahem.
"邹玛•舒馒 薇诺娜•瑞德 伊莉莎白•赫莉 "Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley...
蜜雪儿•菲佛 ...Michelle Pfeiffer...
花式溜冰桃乐丝•汉弥尔" ...Dorothy Hamill"?
嘿 这是我的名单 Hey, it's my list.
甜心 你知道她只有在冰上才会一直转吧 Okay, honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice?
（舒活之家）
- 怎样 - 你知道吗 - Oh. What? Whoa. - Ow, you know? Ow.
- 怎么了 - 她扭断了我的手臂 - Hey, hey, what's going on? - She broke my arm.
- 他摸我的屁股 - 是她先摸我的 - He touched my fanny. - No, she touched mine first.
那是我的工作 That's my job.
什么意思 So wait, what's the deal?
我可以和你做爱 却不能摸你 I can have sex with you but I can't touch you?
- 你不能和她做爱 - 你以为我是妓女 - You can't have sex with her. - Did you think I was a hooker?
不 我知道你是按摩师 没关系 我不是警察 No, okay. I know. You're a masseuse. It's cool. I'm not a cop.
好吧 Okay.
你可以请威佛先生等我5分钟吗 Can you ask Mr. Wiffler if he can wait for, like, five minutes?
好 Fine.
我不喜欢你 I don't like you.
你以为我是做那行的 天啊 So that's what you thought I did? God.
我不是做那行的 That's not what I do.
你不是做那行的 Wait, that... Wait, that's not what you do?
不是 No.
你怎么会这么想 Why would you think that?
不知道 这里是纽约市嘛 I don't know. I mean, you know... This is the city, you know? I just...
我是说… I mean, uh...
我不知道 ...I don't know.
随便吧 好一个完美周末的完美结束 Whatever. It's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyway.
等一下 Oh, wait.
你说得没错 真的很完美 No, you're right. No, it was perfect.
不敢相信 我居然把它搞砸了 I can't believe that I screwed it up so bad.
你觉得很完美 You really thought it was perfect?
也许称不上完美 Well, no, maybe it wasn't perfect...
但很酷 ...but, you know, it was pretty cool, you know?
我们聊了很多 Because we had all those great talks, you know?
是啊 Yeah. Um...
你觉得哪一次对话特别愉快 Which ones in particular were great for you?
就是卷舌头的事 Well, you know, about the tongue thing, you know?
还有我告诉你我喜欢什么 讨厌什么 And how I told you about my likes and my dislikes.
我不会… I don't...
我喜欢烧东西 不喜欢不能烧的东西 How I like to melt stuff and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt.
对 好 Right. Okay. Mm-hm.
我觉得我有话都能对你说 You know, I feel like I can really talk to you...
因为你是我姊姊 ...because, you know, you're my sister, you know?
对 是那样没错 Yeah. I guess I do. Yeah.
结果我却摸你朋友 惹你生气 And then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.
我也没有气到跺脚 Yeah, well, I wasn't hopping mad, you know?
你有跺一 两下 You hopped a little bit.
我真的很抱歉 Yeah, I'm really sorry. You know, I'm really...
好吧 Okay.
我觉得现在是本周末最棒的一刻了 Well, this is my favorite part of the weekend. Right now. This.
现在 This?
拜托 我们去了时代广场 Oh, come on. We went to Times Square.
找到忍者明星 我差点被妓女扭断手 We found ninja stars. I almost get my arm broken by a hooker...
她不是妓女 She's not a hooker.
我跟朋友吹嘘时 她就是 Well, when I tell my friends about her, she will be.
好 数到三 Okay. On three.
一 二 One, two...
为什么不直接到二就好 Why don't we just go on two?
- 为什么是二 - 因为这样比较快 - Why two? - Because it's faster.
要不是你废话 早就数到三了 Yeah, I could've counted to three four times without all this two talk.
- 好 但是以后… - 好了 不要废话 这东西没变轻 - All right, but in the future... - Okay. Heavy thing not getting lighter.
好吧 Okay.
一 二 One, two...
- 所以要数到二吗 - 好吧 - So we are going with two? - All right.
乔伊 干得好 Oh, good job, Joe.
好大 It's big.
大到让我们的门看起来变小了 Yeah. Yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller.
可能是我的尺有问题 Maybe my ruler's wrong.
可能所有的尺都有问题 Maybe all the rulers are wrong.
还不算太差吧 Look, it's not that bad.
那又怎样 挡你的门一点点 我的一点点 So what? It blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
我有更好的主意 I got a better idea.
干脆不要挡我的门 都去挡你的门 How about it blocks none of my door and a lot of your door?
先说一声 这边油漆未干 Listen, before I forget, that side is still wet.
我跟你确认一下 Okay, ahem, let me just see if I've got this right.
这是咖啡因减半 双倍中杯 少许榛果糖浆… So this is a half-caf, double-tall, easy-hazelnut...
无脂 无泡沫 加鲜奶油的特烫拿铁 对吧 ...nonfat, no foam, with whip, extra-hot latte, right?
太好了 Okay, great.
怪胎 Ahem. You freak.
- 谢谢 - 一杯咖啡外带 - Thank you. Ahem. - A coffee to go, please.
天啊 各位 Oh, my God. Guys.
是伊莎贝拉•罗塞里尼 Isabella Rossellini.
不会吧 天哪 Are you serious? Oh, my God.
该死 我居然把她从名单中删掉 Damn. I cannot believe I took her off my list.
怎么 不然你会行动吗 Why? Because otherwise you'd go for it?
搞不好 Yeah, maybe.
骗人 Oh, heh. You lie.
你不认为我会行动 You don't think I'd go up to her?
你花了十年承认你喜欢我 Ross, it took you 10 years to finally admit you liked me.
是吗 你最好庆幸这份名单已经塑封了 Yeah? Well, missy, you better be glad that list is laminated. Heh.
这样吧 你放马过去 就当她是候补人选 You know what, honey? You go ahead. We'll call her an alternate.
- 好 帮我拿 - 好吧 - Okay. Hold my cruller. - Okay.
你真的要让他去 Rach, are you really gonna let him do this?
亲爱的 他可是要去泡伊莎贝拉•罗塞里尼 Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rossellini.
可惜看戏时没有爆米花可吃 I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn.
嗨… Hi. Hi.
我是罗斯 I'm Ross.
你不认识我 但我是你的超级影迷 Um, you don't know me, but I'm a big, big fan of yours.
我是说 "蓝丝绒" I mean, um, Blue Velvet. Whoo.
我能不能请你喝一杯咖啡 I was wondering if I could maybe buy you a, um, cup of coffee.
或是把那杯的钱给你 Or reimburse you for that one.
你不是跟那个女生一对 Aren't you with that girl over there?
算是啦 Well, yeah, kind of.
但是没关系 我们有共识 But that's okay. See, we have an understanding.
我们都有一份五个人的名人录 See, we each have this list of five famous people...
你就在我的名单上 ...and you were one of mine.
所以我可以跟你上床 So I'm allowed to sleep with you.
不…这是恭维 No, no, no. It's flattering.
- 我不是很确定… - 等一下 伊莎贝拉 - I don't know... - No, no, no. Wait. Wait, Isabella.
先别急着否定 Don't just dismiss this so fast.
这可是千载难逢的机会 I mean, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
对你而言 Yeah, for you.
这就是名单 Is that the list?
- 是啊 - 我可以看吗 - Um, yes. - Can I see it?
- 不行 - 让我看吧 - Um, no. - Come on.
来吧 But... Okay.
我不在名单上 I'm not on the list.
这不是最终版本 Um, see, but that's not the final draft.
都塑封了 It's laminated.
对 Yeah.
好吧 你本来在名单上 Um, okay, see, you were on my list.
但是我的朋友钱德… But then my friend Chandler...
指出你太国际化了 ...brought up the very good point that you are international.
所以我拿薇诺娜•瑞德取代你 比较本土 So I bumped you for Winona Ryder. Local.
真是太讽刺了 因为我也有一份名单 You know, it's ironic, because I have a list...
列了五个咖啡店笨蛋 ...of five goofy coffeehouse guys...
就在昨天 那个人取代了你 ...and yesterday, I just bumped you for that guy over there.
那个人… That?
我们当朋友就好了 We're just gonna be friends.
你知道吗 You know what?
我赌我可以进得去 Betcha I could fit in there.
我拿5元赌你进不去 I got 5 bucks says you can't.
准备好支票吧 先生 Get out your checkbook, mister.
我有现金 Oh, I think I have the cash.
你栽了吧 You are dog, man.
我完全进得去 I totally fit.
是啊 你赢了 Yeah. You got me.
我输了5元美金 I'm out five big ones.
拿去吧 There you go.
谢谢 Thank you.
哈罗 林肯先生 Oh, well, hello, Mr. Lincoln.
祝你下次好运 兄弟 Better luck next time, buddy.
我请你喝酒好了 And the drinks are on me.