这里有什么娱乐的吗？ Is there any entertainment there?
来罗 1999年 乔伊"快乐"的一年 All right. Here we go. 1999, the year of Joey.
恭喜你 We're very happy for you.
怎么了？ What's the matter?
我们想在午夜接吻 但其他人都没这个打算 We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so, you know...
- 好 交给我 - 噢 不 - All right, I'll take care of it. - Oh, no.
乔伊 Joey.
- 33 32 31 - 罗斯 罗斯 罗斯 - Thirty-three, 32, 31. - Ross, Ross, Ross.
你0点要亲谁？瑞秋还是菲比？ Listen, who are you kissing at midnight? Rachel or Phoebe?
- 什么？ - 你得亲人 又不能亲你妹 - What? - Well, you gotta kiss someone.
- 不能亲你的妹妹 - 那谁要亲我妹？ - Can't kiss your sister. - Who's gonna kiss my sister?
- 钱德 - 噢 不会吧？ - Chandler. - Oh, man. Really?
老兄 你觉得谁比较好 我还是钱德？ Who would you rather have kiss your sister?
- 有道理 - 耶 - That's a good point. - Yeah.
我和瑞秋有太多纠葛 那就菲比吧 Uh, well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
好 好吧 菲比 罗斯午夜想亲你 Okay, great. Pheebs, Pheebs. Listen. Ross wants to kiss you at midnight.
太明显了 他大可直说 So obvious. Why doesn't he just ask?
瑞秋 我午夜要亲你 什么？ Rach, Rach. Listen, I'm going to kiss you at midnight.
- 什么 - 大家都得找人亲 你亲罗斯会小尴尬 - What? - You can't kiss Ross. You got the history.
- 所以 - 所以呢？ - So? - So?
- 所以你想让我亲还是让钱德亲？ - 有道理 - Would you prefer me or Chandler? - Oh, good point.
Three, two, one. 3 2 1
新年快乐 Happy New Year!
- 新年快乐 - 新年快乐 - Happy New Year. - Happy New Year.
- 菲比 新年快乐 - 你也是 - Happy New Year, Pheebs. - You too.
乔伊 新年快乐 Happy New Year, Joey.
刚才那个吻如何？ So that do anything for you?
你们知道吗？ You know what?
我要召告天下"99年我不离婚" I'm going to go out on a limb and say,"No divorces in '99."
但你的离婚手续还没办好 But your divorce isn't even final yet.
99年我只离一次婚 漂亮 Just the one divorce in '99.
我今年要过得很快乐 You know what? I'm gonna be happy this year.
我要让自己快乐 I'm gonna make myself happy.
你要我们回避吗？ Do you want us to leave the room or?
我每天都要做一件没做过的事 Every day, I am going to do one thing I have never done before.
这就是我的新年新希望 That, my friends, is my New Year's resolution.
- 好棒的希望 - 啊？ - Ooh. That's a good one. - Yeah?
我是想开大型客机 Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
这个也很棒 接着你得找一群 That's a good one too. Now you only have to find a planeload of people...
希望自己坠机身亡的人 ...whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
也许你应该立志不取笑朋友 Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends.
尤其是会免费载你去… Especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free...
欧洲的人 ...on their own plane.
她开飞机的机率 比你不取笑… She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose...
我们还高 ...than you do of not making fun of us.
50元赌你无法1年不笑我们 In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks you can't go the whole year without making fun of us.
你知道什么？干脆一星期好了 You know what? Better yet, a week.
我和你打赌 我的朋友 I'll take that bet, my friend.
输我那50元 就可以当… And you know what? Paying me the 50 bucks can be...
你的"每日新鲜事" ...the "new thing you do" that day.
就从现在开始 And it starts right now.
我的新年新希望是学吉他 All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play guitar.
- 真的？怎么来的？ - 啊 - Really? How come? - Ah.
我的履历表是列了一堆特殊专长 You know those special skills I have listed on my résumé?
我希望有一项是真的 I would love it if one of those was true.
你要我教你吗？我是个很好的老师 Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
真的？你教过谁？ Really? Who have you taught?
我教过我 我很喜欢我 Well, I taught me and I loved me.
太好了 谢谢你 That'd be great. Yeah, thanks, Pheebs.
克莱儿忘了把眼镜带走 Oh, look. Blaire forgot her glasses.
她需要这副眼镜来盯住男朋友 She's gonna be needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend.
听说他得把订书机收在… Who, from what I hear, needs to keep his stapler...
抽屉里 你们懂我的意思吧 ...in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
或许你应该让自己别那么八卦 Hey, Rach, maybe your resolution should be to, um, gossip less.
我哪有八卦 What? I don't gossip.
或许我偶尔会发现一些事 Maybe sometimes I find out things.
或听到一些事 然后转述出去 Or I hear something and I pass that information on.
当做一种服务 You know, kind of like a public service.
这并不代表我很八卦 你们会说新闻主播八卦吗？ Doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Koppel a gossip?
如果他说同事隆胸失败… Well, if Ted Koppel talked about his coworkers' botched boob jobs...
的话 ...yeah, I would.
好吧 她隆成这样耶 Well, they were like this.
(中央咖啡厅)
- 那就明天见 - 好 - I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我约刚才那个女生出去 I just asked that girl out.
- 漂亮 - 漂亮 耶 - Nice. - Nice. Yeah.
这算是你今天的新鲜事吗？ Is that part of your resolution, your "new thing" for today?
没错 你们看 Yes, it is. See?
"伊丽莎白 "Elizabeth...
宏史歪哥"？ ...Hornswoggle"?
对 That's right.
伊丽莎白宏史歪哥 Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
宏史歪哥 Hornswoggle.
你还好吗 钱德？是不是有什么？ You okay, Chandler? Is there something...?
这个姓有哪里好笑吗？ Something funny about that name?
没有 我只是觉得好像听过 No, no, I just think that maybe I've heard it somewhere before.
是吗？在哪里听过 Oh, really? Where?
一定是个很好笑的地方 Somewhere funny I'll bet.
- 嘿 菲比 你猜是什么？ - 嘿 - Hey, Pheebs. Guess what? - Hey.
我要跟一个伊丽莎白 宏史歪哥约会 Uh, I have a date with, uh, Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
宏史歪哥？ Hornswoggle?
噢 你的嘴一定很痒 Oh, this must be killing you.
- 好吧 待会见 - 待会见 - All right, see you later. - See you.
菲比 我可以上第一课了 好 All right, Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
好吧 噢 不行 不能碰吉他 Okay. Oh, no, no, you don't touch the guitar.
不 不 先练手 再练琴 No, no. First you learn here, then you learn here.
- 哦 好吧 - 噢 - Oh. Okay. - Okay.
- 好 第一课 和弦 - 啊 - Okay.Chords. - Ah.
我不知道这些和弦的真正名称 Now, um, I don't know the actual names of the chords, um...
不过我照手势帮它们取了名字 But I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them.
所以这是熊爪… So then, this is "Bear Claw."
火鸡脚… Okay, "Turkey Leg"...
和老太太 ...and "Old Lady."
真有趣的吉他教学方式 What an interesting approach to guitar instruction.
有些人可能会觉得好笑 我觉得很普通 You know, some might find it amusing. I myself find it regular.
嘿 各位 Hey, everybody.
瑞秋今天很乖 她都没有八卦 Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
没错 即使我发现… I didn't. Even when I found out, um...
总之我发现了某人的某件事 但是我… All right, let's just say I found out something about someone...
不会说出来 ...and let's just say...
她会保持住的 ...she's gonna keep it.
菲比 你看 Hey, Pheebs. Check this out.
你搞定老太太了 Ooh. You nailed the Old Lady. Oh!
哦 哈 哈 Oh, ha, ha!
嘿 听着 我觉得我进步了… Hey, listen, I thought I was getting better...
就在回家的路上去吉他店… ...so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store...
你在店里有碰吉他吗？ Did you touch any of the guitars while you were there?
有吗？ Did you?
没有 No.
手给我 Give me your hands.
琴弦 这一手 Strings.
弹片 Pick.
你想学吉他吗？ Do you want to learn to play guitar?
- 想啊 - 那就不要碰吉他 - Yes. - Then don't touch one!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hi.
- 海 班 - 摩妮卡姑姑 - Hi, Ben. - Auntie Monica.
啊 Aw.
罗斯穿皮裤 Ross is wearing leather pants.
没有人看见罗斯穿皮裤吗？ Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants?
谁来说句话吧 Someone comment on the pants.
- 很帅气啊 - 我才很喜欢 - I think they're very nice. - I really like them a lot.
我想的不是这个 Not what I had in mind.
罗斯这种人通常不穿这种裤子 See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants.
这种裤子很紧 You see, they're very tight.
也许可以评论一下 Maybe there's something in that area?
- 很好看啊 - 我喜欢 - I think they look really good. - I like them.
在哪里买的？ Yeah, where did you get them?
我还没做今天的新鲜事 See, I needed a new thing for today.
我一直觉得这家皮衣店很香 And there's this leather store I go by that always smells so good.
于是我心想 "哇哦 你知道吗 我从来没买过… And I thought to myself, "Wow. You know, I've never owned...
一条很香的皮裤" ...a really good-smelling pair of pants before."
拜托啦 Oh, come on.
说真的 你们觉得怎样？ Okay, seriously. What do you think?
- 好怪 难看死了 - 难看死了 - You look like a freak. Yeah, awful. - Awful.
嘿 你在干什么？你在干什么？ Hey. What are you doing? What are you doing?
- 这是我的新年新希望 - 把我儿子弄瞎？ - It's my New Year's resolution. - To blind my child?
不 是多照照我们的相片 No, to take more pictures of all of us together.
我觉得这样最好 大家都会喜欢 I really think it's the best resolution. Everyone can enjoy them.
大家也都会喜欢我的演奏 Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well.
天哪 这条裤子热死了 My God, these pants. I'm burning up.
哦 天啊 她现在靠过来？是想让我死吗？ Oh, God. She wants to snuggle now? What, is she trying to kill me?
这里面跟火山一样 It's like a volcano in here.
- 你热吗？ - 不会 - Are you hot? - No.
那就是我在热 Okay, it must just be me then.
那是裤子跟沙发磨擦的声音 That was just the pants and the couch.
额 嘿 可以借用一下洗手间吗？ Um, hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
- 哦 请便 - 谢谢 - Oh, go ahead. - Thanks.
啊 Ah.
我最喜欢的部分要来了 Hey, my favorite part's coming up.
好 Okay.
完蛋了 Oh, my God!
老虎 恐龙 Tiger. Dragon.
冰山 Iceberg.
乔瑟夫 你昨晚有练习吗？ Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
- 我有啊 - 那就把冰山做出来 - Yes. Yes, I did. - Then do Iceberg.
- 升G - 升G？ - G-sharp. - G-sharp?
你在偷学和弦名称吗？ Have you been studying the real names of the chords?
有没有？ Have you?
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
怎样？我又没有碰吉他 What? I didn't touch a guitar.
不 但是你质疑我的教学方式 No, but you're questioning my method.
我不是质疑 我根本就觉得很蠢 No, I'm not questioning it, Phoebe. I'm saying it's stupid.
干嘛？ What?
谢谢 Thank you.
其他学生都不… You know, none of my other student...
觉得我蠢 ...thought I was stupid.
你的其他学生就是你 Your other student was you!
那又怎样 也许你应该更用功 Yeah, well, you know, maybe you just need to try a little harder.
也许我应该找个正牌老师 Maybe I need to try a real teacher.
这里 安迪古柏 他在教吉他 Right here. Here. Andy Cooper. He teaches guitar.
看 这里还有他跟小朋友的合照 And look. Ooh, there's a picture of him with a kid.
小朋友拿着吉他 Yeah, and the kid's got a guitar!
好 你去跟你的专业老师学 Fine. You go learn from your qualified instructor.
等大家听腻"坏蛋李洛布朗" But don't come crying to me when everyone is sick and tired...
你可别哭着来找我 ...of hearing you play "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown."
全城最坏的大坏蛋 Baddest man in the whole damn town
好啊 你去帮他啊 Oh, fine. Take his side.
嗯 Hmm.
我好想赶快去找你 I can't wait to be with you.
罗斯把小孩接走我就溜过去 I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben.
我会告诉瑞秋 我要洗两个小时衣服 I'll tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple hours.
洗衣服 呵呵 那是我的新绰号吗？ Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname?
不是 Aw.
你明知你的绰号是大鹏 You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big...
- 喂？ - 乔伊 我是罗斯 我需要帮忙 - Hello? - Joey, it's Ross. I need some help.
额 钱德不在 Uh, Chandler's not here.
你可以帮我 Well, you can help me.
- 好 - 听着 - Okay. - Listen.
我在伊丽莎白的浴室里 I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom.
漂亮 Nice.
不是 我觉得皮裤很热 就进来脱掉 No, I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off.
结果它一定是遇汗缩水 But they must have shrunk from the sweat or something.
或是我的腿因热膨胀 Or my legs expanded from the heat.
我现在穿不回去了 I can't get them back on, Joey. I can't.
这个情况蛮严重的 Oh. That is quite a situation.
你有粉之类的东西吗？ Uh, do you see any, like, powder?
有 我有爽身粉 Powder. Yeah, yeah, I have powder.
很好 Good, good. Okay.
把它撒在腿上吸汗 Sprinkle some on your legs. It'll absorb moisture.
就能把裤子穿回去了 Then you can get your pants back on.
好 等一下 Yeah, hold on.
裤子还是拉不上来 They're not coming on, man.
额 你找得到… 凡士林吗？ Um, you see any...? Oh, Vaseline?
我找到乳液 我有乳液 乳液行吗？ I see lotion. I have lotion. Will that work?
- 行 把它涂在腿上 - 等下 - Yeah, sure, throw some of that on there. - Hold on.
你还好吧 Ross, you okay?
裤子还是扛不上来 They're still not coming on, man.
而且乳液和爽身粉糊成一团 And the lotion and the powder have made a paste.
是喔？ Really?
额 什么颜色？ Uh, what color is it?
什么颜色有差吗？ What difference does that make?
如果跟裤子的颜色一样 你就糊一条假裤子 Well, if the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself paste pants...
她就看不出来了 ...and she won't know the difference.
乔伊 你有空吗？ Joey, do you have a minute?
我该怎么… Dude, what am I...?
瑞秋来了 祝你好运 让我知道结果 Rachel's here, so good luck, man. Let me know how it works out.
乔伊 我遇到天大的问题 Oh, Joey, I have such a problem.
哦 好吧 你来得正好 Oh, well, your timing couldn't be better.
我正在到处救火 I'm putting out fires all over the place.
好 乔伊 我得告诉你一件事 Okay, okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something.
什么事？ What is it? What is it?
天哪 这件事太大了 但你得保证不说出去 Oh, my God. It's so huge. But you have to promise me, you cannot tell anyone.
- 不要 我不想知道 - 什么 - No, no, no. I don't want to know. - What?
你绝对想知道 太不可思议了 Yes, yes, yes. You do want to know. This is unbelievable.
我不管 我不想再当知道秘密 却不能… I don't care, Rach. Look, I'm tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets...
说的人 ...and can't tell anyone.
什么秘密？你知道什么秘密？ You know secrets? What are they?
你不该八卦的 And you're not supposed to be gossiping.
我知道 但这件事我憋不住 我刚才拿起电话… No, I know, I can't keep this in. So I pick up the phone...
我不听 I'm not listening to you.
罗斯 额… Ross? Um...
你进去很久了 You've been in there for a long time.
我开始有点害怕了 I'm starting to get kind of freaked out.
好 我要出去了 All right, I'm coming out.
你可以把灯关掉吗？ Hey, can you turn the lights off?
不行 灯就让它开着 No. Let's just leave the lights on.
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
我出了一点状况 I had a problem.
菲比 Hey, Pheebs.
我不能跟你说话 我没在电话簿上登广告 Oh, I can't talk to you. I don't have a fancy ad in the yellow pages.
看… Look...
菲比 你听我说… Pheebs, I just...
我为批评你的教法道歉 I want to apologize for saying your method was stupid.
我也想重新拜你为师 And maybe, ask you to be my teacher again?
在你说可以之前 我绝对不碰吉他 And I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready.
- 我真的可以了？ - 额 - You really think I'm ready? - Uh-huh.
酷毙了 Wow, cool.
好吧 Okay.
- 那个和弦弹对了吗？ - 不对 - Was the chord at least right before...? - No.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我们听说了 好惨 We heard about your pants. I'm so sorry.
今年应该很美好才对 This year was supposed to be great.
才第二天我就成了 穿不合身的… Well, it's only the second day, and I'm a loser...
皮裤的逊人 ...with stupid leather pants that don't even fit.
没这回事 你不逊 You're not a loser.
你们看我 Look at me.
嘿 看 看 罗斯 Hey, look. Look, Ross.
班画了你的画像 Ben drew a picture of you.
你是牛仔喔 Huh? You're a cowboy.
哦 Oh.
因为我穿皮裤？ Because of the leather pants?
班并不觉得你逊 他觉得你是牛仔 Ben doesn't think you're a loser. He thinks you're a cowboy.
我认为 很棒吧 I mean, that's something.
- 真的很棒 - 牛仔哥 - It really is something. - Howdy, partner. Hey.
也许我应该再去买一条 Maybe I should get another pair.
他们有一些… Ooh, you know, they had some...
侧边有流苏的 ...with fringe all down the sides.
我去跟班说晚安 I'm gonna go kiss Ben good night.
他居然觉得我是牛仔 I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy.
我会是个好牛仔 I would make a good cowboy.
好 既然没事 我要去洗衣服了 Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
我也是 如果这一件脏了的话 脏了 Yeah, me too. You know, if this shirt is dirty. Yep.
我也要走了 Okay, I'm gonna go to.
我要去机场 只要等久一点… I'm gonna go to the airport. If I hang around there long enough...
应该能逮到没人管的飞机 ...someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
- 祝你好运 再见 - 拜 - Good luck, honey. - Bye.
乔伊 记得我要说的那件大事吗？ Hey, uh, Joey, remember that big thing I was going to tell you about?
我不会告诉你 但如果你自己发现 I'm not gonna tell you. But if you found out on your own...
那就没关系 我们就可以讨论了对吧？ ...that would be okay, and then we could talk about it, right?
那样就不是秘密 的确没关系 Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So, yeah, that would be okay. Yeah, yeah.
耶 Yeah.
乔伊 你去钱德的房间… Hey, Joe, would you mind going over into Chandler's bedroom...
把我借给他的书拿回来好吗？ ...and getting that book back that he borrowed from me?
现在？你要我现在去？ Now? You want me to go over there now?
对 Yeah.
- 你知道什么吗？ - 你知道什么吗？ - Do you know something? - Do you know something?
- 我或许知道 - 我也是 - I might know something. - I might too something too.
- 你知道什么？ - 不行 你先说我才能说 - What's the thing you know? - You tell me what you know.
- 我不能说 - 那我也不能说 - I can't tell you. - Then I can't.
那好吧 Okay, fine.
你才不知道 You don't know.
不如我现在就去钱德的房间 How about I go there and walk into Chandler's bedroom and see the thing...
就可以知道我想的确实没错 ...that I think I know is actually the thing I think I know.
- 你知道 - 你也知道 - You know. - And you know.
对 我知道 Yeah, I know.
钱德和摩妮卡？真叫人不敢相信 Chandler and Monica? Oh, this is unbelievable.
- 你知道多久了？ - 太久了 噢 天哪 - How long have you known? - Too long. Oh, my God.
瑞秋 我早就想找人说了 Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long.
听着 我们不能告诉别人 他们两个好紧张… Listen, listen. You can't say anything to anybody. They're so weird about that.
- 听着 嘿 菲比 - 嘿 - Listen. Hey, Phoebe. - Hey.
在下雨 我不想在下雨天飞 It's raining. I don't like to fly in the rain so...
我要去雨中漫步 Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain. Ha, ha.
我也要 Oh, yeah, me too.
怪人 That's weird.
他们一定有一腿 I bet they're doing it.
好 我忍不住 受不了了 Oh, good. Okay, look. I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore.
你赢了好吗？拿去 So you win. Okay? Here.
菲比 开飞机？不如开太空船… Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship...
回你的星球去 ...so you can get back to your home planet.
罗斯 有你的电话 汤姆琼斯跟你要他的裤子 And Ross. Phone call for you today. Tom Jones. He wants his pants back.
宏史歪哥？你在跟卡通人物约会吗？ And Hornswoggle? What, are you dating a character from Fraggle Rock?