我约你们来吃早午餐的原因… The reason I asked you to brunch...
是因为我一直在想伴娘的问题 ...is because I've been thinking about my maid of honor.
我的天啊 这一刻终于到了 Oh, my God. This is it. Oh.
我希望是你 I hope it's you.
- 我希望是你 - 我也是 - I hope it's you. - Me too.
首先 我非常爱你们 First of all, I love you both so much.
- 你们对我来说都很重要 - 废话少说 到底是谁？ - You're both so important to me. - Blah, blah, blah. Who is it?
我想 我们可以想出一个办法… I was thinking we could come up with a system...
轮流当彼此的伴娘 ...where we trade off being maid of honor.
- 假设菲比是我的伴娘… - 太棒了 - Hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine... - Yes! Oh.
那只是假设 Hypothetically.
一样啦 Still.
如果菲比是我的伴娘 瑞秋 是菲比的伴娘 我是瑞秋的伴娘 If Phoebe were mine, Rachel would be Phoebe's, I'd be Rachel's.
我们都可以当伴娘 没有人会难过 We all get to do it and no one gets upset.
- 那是个好主意 - 我要参加 谁会是你的伴娘？ - That's a pretty good idea. - I'll do that. So who's yours?
那是最棒的 你们得决定谁来当我的伴娘 Well, that's the best part. You guys get to decide.
- 为什么那是最棒的？ - 这样我就不必决定了 - Why is that the best part? - I don't have to.
当然我们会帮你决定 我们会尽力帮你 Of course we'll help you decide. We'll do anything we can to help you.
我想要举杯 I'd like to make a toast.
敬未来的钱德宾太太… To the future Mrs. Chandler Bing...
我最好的朋友跟最棒的… ...my best friend and truly one of the nicest people that...
- 我真的还没有决定 - 好吧 - Really not deciding. - Fine.
对不起 我不是故意要偷听的 Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing.
- 你要嫁给钱德宾？ - 对 - You're marrying Chandler Bing? - Yeah.
哈 Huh.
祝你好运 Good luck!
我也祝你好运 Oh, and good luck to you too!
她真是好心 What a nice lady.
太棒了 Yeah!
- 《终极警探》还是很好看 - 没错 - Die Hard, still great. - Yep.
要看第二支片子吗？ Let's make it a double feature?
你还租了什么？ What else did you rent?
《终极警探续集》 Die Hard 2.
乔伊 这也是《终极警探1》 Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
我们要再看一遍 那就等于是《终极警探续集》了 Well, we'll watch it a second time and it's Die Hard 2.
- 乔伊 我们刚刚才看完第一集 - 所以呢？ - Joey, we just saw it. - And?
再看一次一定很酷 It would be cool to see it again!
- 太棒了《终极警探》 - 《终极警探》 - Yeah! Die Hard! - Die Hard!
兄弟 你没有说《终极警探》 Dude, you didn't say Die Hard.
你还好吗？ Is everything okay?
还好 只是我有别的事要做 Yeah, I just got plans.
约翰•麦克连也有别的事要做 Well, John McClane had plans.
我想在乔伊大开杀戒… I want to leave before Joey gets all worked up...
开始叫大家"混蛋"前离开 ...and starts calling everybody "bitch."
你在胡说什么？混蛋 What are you talking about, bitch?
- 嘿 瑞秋 - 什么事？ - Hey, Rachel. - Yeah?
我结婚时 你愿意当我的伴娘吗？ When I get married, will you be my maid of honor?
真的吗？ Really?
我的天啊 我是说我 菲比 Oh, my God, Phoebe. I mean, I'm just...
等一下 Wait a minute.
如果我是你的伴娘 那表示你是摩妮卡的伴娘 If I'm your maid of honor, that means that you are Monica's.
喔 Oh.
- 如果你真的想那么做 随便你了 - 噢 - Well, if that's what you want. - Oh!
想都别想 菲比 我想当摩妮卡的伴娘 No way, Phoebe. I want to be Monica's.
- 为什么这件事这么重要？ - 那你为什么觉得这么重要呢？ - Why does it even matter? - Why does it matter to you?
因为她马上就要结婚了 Because this one is now.
我们两个最好的朋友要结婚了 And it's two of our best friends.
谁知道你会嫁给什么样的人 And who knows what you're gonna marry.
如果我嫁给罗斯呢？或乔伊？ What if I marry Ross? Or Joey?
你不会的 You wouldn't.
好吧 听我说 瑞秋 我知道你真的想当摩妮卡的伴娘… Okay, look, Rachel. I know you really want to do this...
但我从来没有当过伴娘 ...but I've never been maid of honor to anyone before.
我知道你至少当过两次伴娘 I know you've done it at least twice.
- 对 但是菲比… - 请你让我把话说完 - Yeah, but, Phoebe... - Please let me finish.
我猜我已经说完了 I guess that was it.
好吧 Okay.
好 既然你没有当过伴娘 你可以当摩妮卡的伴娘 Okay. Since you've never done it before, you can be Monica's maid of honor.
谢谢你 Oh, thank you so much!
好耶 Yay.
我一定会嫁给好男人 I'm gonna marry someone good.
我知道 Oh, I know.
- 比钱德还棒 - 喔 - Better than Chandler. - Pfft.
- 发生了什么事？ - 我不知道 - What happened? - I don't know.
我们睡着了 就那么简单 We fell asleep. That is all.
对 对吗？对 Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.
好了 我得走了 All right, well, I'd better go.
- 我想那是最好的 - 没错 - I think that would be best. - Yeah.
- 我待会再跟你谈 - 好 - I'll talk to you later. - Okay.
- 但千万别谈这件事 - 没错 永远都别提 - But not about this. - No, never. Never!
- 所以… - 额 - So, uh... - Uh...
- 再见 - 别碰我 - Bye. - No touch. No touch.
我去吃早午餐时发生了一件怪事 Hey, a weird thing happened at brunch.
有个女人不经意听到 我要嫁给你… This woman overheard that I was marrying you...
她跑来祝我好运 ...and she wished me good luck.
那真的是太好了 That's sweet.
不 她的意思是"祝你好运" No, it was more like a "good luck."
那个女人长什么样子？ So, what did this woman look like?
她大概三十岁 深色头发 很漂亮 She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
你该不会是刚好 看到一种叫做镜子的东西吧？ Any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
她会是你大学时的女朋友吗？ Was it someone you dated in college?
不 在大学时 我只交过两个女朋友… No, I only dated two girls in college...
她们都是金发 也不漂亮 ...both blond, both not attractive.
让我看看 Let me check this out.
- 你在做什么？ - 来瞧瞧吧 - What are you doing? - Well, let's see.
好吧 是她吗？ Okay, uh, is that her?
我的天啊 没错 Oh, my God, yes!
- 她是谁？ - 茱丽•格拉芙 我的夏令营女朋友 - Who is she? - Julie Graff, my camp girlfriend.
你跟她分手了？ Did you break up with her?
不 我们还在一起 No, we're still together.
我们交往了两个暑假 后来我跟她分手了 We went out for two summers and then I broke up with her.
- 为什么？ - 第三年的暑假… - Why? - She came back the third summer...
她变得有一点… ...and she'd gotten really fa... Ahh.
- 胖？ - 我没有那么说 - Fat? - I did not say fat.
我是说… I said fa... Ahh.
你只因为女生胖 就跟她分手？ You broke up with a girl because she was fat?
对 Yeah. Yeah.
但那真的是很久以前的事了 她还在难过吗？ But it was a really long time ago. Does she still feel bad?
看起来是的 Apparently she does.
有句俗话说 "大象永远都不会忘记" You know what they say, "Elephants never forget."
说真的 要嫁给我 祝你好运 Seriously, good luck marrying me.
嘿 发生了什么事？ Hey, what's going on?
菲比会是摩妮卡的伴娘 Phoebe is gonna be Monica's maid of honor.
希望这次会比上次 你帮楼下那个女孩当伴娘顺利 记得吗？ Hey. Hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs.
你以前当过伴娘？ You have been maid of honor before?
你看吧？ 那就是人不能说谎的原因 You see? This is exactly why you shouldn't lie.
够了 我是伴娘 That's it. I am maid of honor.
- 不 我才是 - 为什么是你？ - No, I am. - How come you are?
因为我在乎到不惜说谎 Because I cared enough to lie.
我可以帮你们决定 该由谁来当伴娘 Hey, I could help you decide who should do it.
我们应该办甄试会 We could have an audition.
看看你们当伴娘时 会怎么处理突发状况 See how you'd handle maid-of-honor-type situations.
- 你是什么意思 - 当我需要一份工作时… - What are you talking about? - When I want a job...
我会去试镜 如果他们觉得我是最棒的… ...I audition and if I'm the best of the people they see...
我就可以演出 ...they give me the part.
好了 甄试完毕后 谁来决定伴娘人选？ Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
我跟罗斯可以当评审 Oh, me and Ross can be the judges.
- 这要比让我们自己来决定好 - 这太疯狂了 - It's better than us deciding. - Oh, this is crazy.
- 我们不能丢铜板决定吗？ - 不 铜板恨我 - Can't we just flip a coin? - No, coins hate me.
好吧 你知道吗？ 我们让罗斯跟乔伊来决定 Okay, fine. You know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide.
嗨 Hi!
罗斯 甜心 Ross, sweetie.
你好 大帅哥 Hey there, handsome thing.
这种古龙水的确跟亚曼尼的一样棒 Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Giorgio.
嘿 Hey.
我把录影带拿来还你 Just brought back your videos.
罗斯 听着 我想我们需要谈谈之前的事 Hey, Ross. Look, I think we need to talk about before.
不 千万别提那件事 No. No, we don't.
不 我们非谈不可 Yes, we do.
好了 听我说 那是我睡得最香甜的一觉 Now, look. That was the best nap I ever had.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
少来了 承认吧 Come on, admit it.
那是你睡过最香甜的一觉 That was the best nap you ever had.
我有过更棒的经验 I've had better.
好吧 什么时候？ Okay. When?
好吧 好吧 那是我睡过最香甜的一觉 All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
- 哦 - 我承认 好吗？ - Ah! - I said it, okay?
但那都已经过去了 乔伊 But it's over, Joey!
我想再来一次 I want to do it again.
我们不能再来一次 We can't do it again.
- 为什么？ - 因为那太奇怪了 - Why not? - Because it's weird!
好吧 Fine.
你想喝点东西吗？ You want a drink?
- 好啊 你有什么？ - 温牛奶跟抗组胺药 - Sure. What do you got? - Warm milk and Excedrin PM.
钱德 Chandler.
我刚刚才知道你是谁 I just figured out who you are.
你知道我在做什么吗？ Can you figure out what I'm doing?
- 你是路易斯·波森 - 谁？ - You're Louis Posen. - Who?
路易斯·波森 他是我五年级时最好的朋友 He was my best friend in fifth grade.
有一天我要他当我男朋友 他拒绝了 One day, I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no.
你知道为什么吗？ Do you know why?
因为他上厕所时 你一直在跟他说话？ Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?
不 因为他觉得我太… No, but because he thought I was too fa... Ahh.
每次想到这件事 我还是会觉得很难过 Every time I think about it, I feel as bad as I did then.
我真的觉得你该跟茱丽道歉 I really think you should apologize to Julie.
甜心 你在开玩笑吗？ 那是十六年前的事 Honey, are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
如果路易斯能跟我道歉 我会觉得好过一点 It would make me feel better if Louis apologized to me.
好 我会跟她道歉 但我警告你 这可能会让我变成更棒的男人 I'll do it. But I warn you, this may make me a better person.
但那不是你爱上的那个男人 And that is not the man you fell in love with.
好吧 我们会假设突发状况 This is how it's gonna work.
来考验你们当伴娘的资格 We'll give you hypothetical maid-of-honor situations.
计分范围从一分到十分 You'll be scored on a scale of one to 10.
- 一分是最高分 - 不 十分才是最高分 - One being the highest. - Ten is the highest.
- 为什么十分是最高分？ - 因为它是最大的数字 - Why is 10 the highest? - Because it's the highest.
好了 瑞秋 你先来 Okay, Rachel, you're up first.
一号突发状况 你跟摩妮卡在一起 Situation number one: You're with Monica.
婚礼就要开始了 摩妮卡想临阵脱逃 开始 The wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go!
我不想嫁给钱德 I don't want to marry Chandler.
- 我想临阵脱逃 - 没事的 - I've got cold feet. - It's gonna be okay.
跟一个男人共度一生？ 我不知道我是否办得到 One man the rest of my life? I don't know.
这表示我永远 都不能跟乔伊上床了 This means I'll never get to sleep with Joey.
听我说 摩妮卡… Look, Monica...
临阵脱逃是常见的事 ...getting cold feet is very common.
那是因为你期待过高 It's just because of all the anticipation.
你只要记住你爱钱德 And you just have to remember that you love Chandler.
我也逃婚过 And also, I ran out on a wedding.
逃婚的人得退还礼物 You don't get to keep the gifts.
你引述亲身经验 Very good, drawing on your own experience.
非常好 Very good.
没错 很好 瑞秋 Yes, very nice, Rachel.
谢谢评审 Thank you, judges.
- 马屁精 - 喔 - Kiss-ass. - Oh.
- 好了 菲比 - 是的 大人 - Okay, Phoebe. - Yes, Your Honor.
婚礼举行到一半 We're now in the ceremony.
摩妮卡正要说我愿意的时候… Monica is about to say, "I do"...
可是她的叔叔喝得烂醉 开始乱吵乱叫 ...when her drunk uncle starts yelling.
你会怎么做？开始 What do you do? Go!
摩妮卡还小的时候… When Monica was a little girl...
我记得… ...I remember that...
好痛 Ow!
- 非常好 - 喔 - Very good! - Oh.
好极了 我给你满分 Yes, excellent. Perfect score.
等等 她破坏了正在进行中的婚礼 She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
嘿 你想尝尝菲比的厉害吗？ Hey, you want a little taste of Pheebs?
现在你们得以伴娘的身分 说出对新人的贺词 It is time for you to give your maid-of-honor speech.
等等 我们还没有准备… We haven't even prepared...
- 开始 - 好吧 - Go! - Okay, okay, okay. Um...
韦伯斯特大字典 对婚姻的定义是… Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as...
好了 不 忘了它 那段贺词太烂了 别在意 忘了它吧 Okay, no! Forget that! That sucks! Okay, never mind. Forget it. Um, um...
我遇见…我认识摩妮卡时 我们只是六岁大的小女孩… I met... I met Monica when we were just a couple of 6-year-olds...
我们在钱德二十五岁时 成了朋友… ...and became friends with Chandler when he was 25...
虽然他看起来 很像六岁大的孩子 ...although he seemed like a 6-year-old.
喔 Oh.
谢谢 感激不尽 Thank you. Thank you very much. Um...
我看过他们单身 跟交往时的样子 I've known them separately and together.
我知道他们交往时 深爱着彼此 To know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love.
现在我想举杯… So I would like to raise my glass...
敬摩妮卡跟钱德… ...to Monica and Chandler...
还有他们要携手共度的 美好冒险历程 ...and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together.
我认为他们做好了 万全的准备要展开这段旅程 I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
哇 Wow.
- 说的好 - 没错 真的很棒 - Great speech. - Yeah, it really was.
谢谢 Oh, thanks.
好了 菲比 下一个是你 虽然我觉得那么做是多余的 Okay, Phoebe, I guess you're next. Although I really don't see the point.
好吧 Okay.
我不敢相信摩妮卡 跟钱德要结婚了 I can't believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married.
我还记得 我跟瑞秋谈过这一天… I remember talking about this day with Rachel...
那时我们一起冲澡 全身一丝不挂 ...while we were showering together, naked.
她大逆转了 And she's back in the game!
茱丽 嗨 Julie. Hi.
我是钱德宾 我猜你还记得我 Chandler Bing. I guess you remember me.
你好 备胎 Hello, Skidmark.
那是我的绰号 待会再跟你解释 It's a nickname. I'll explain later.
我看得出原因 It's pretty clear.
我很早以前就该跟你道歉 I owe you a long-overdue apology.
我不该只因为你很胖 就跟你分手 I shouldn't have broken up with you because you were overweight.
那是你跟我分手的原因？ That's why you broke up with me?
你…不知道啊？ You didn't know that?
看来我的任务已经达成 Well, I guess my work here is done.
(中央咖啡厅)
但首先我要说 你们两个都表现的很好 好吗？ First of all, I would like to say you both performed very well, okay?
你们应该觉得效仿 You should be proud.
我还想说在这场比赛里 没有人是输家 And I'd also like to say, in this competition, there are no losers.
瑞秋除外 该死 Well, except Rachel. Damn it!
真的吗？我赢了 Really? I won?
- 什么？ - 对不起 瑞秋 分数真的很接近 - What? - I'm sorry, Rach, it was really close.
- 那么我要求重新计分 - 事实上也没有那么接近 - Well, then I demand a recount! - Actually, it wasn't that close.
你知道吗？ 反正你们的方法太愚蠢了 You know what? Your thing was so stupid anyway.
我们来丢铜板决定 好吗？ We're gonna flip a coin, all right?
正面 Heads. Oh!
什么？铜板终于原谅我了 What? The coins have finally forgiven me!
你知道吗？我希望摩妮卡 会原谅你 因为你会用… You know what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her...
用怪力乱神的素食主义方式 对着她洒花片 ...her vegetarian-voodoo-goddess-circle-y shower.
瑞秋 没关系的 你们帅呆了 Rach, it's gonna be okay. You guys are the best!
天啊 我得告诉你 当评审真的把我累坏了 Boy, I tell you. That judging stuff took a lot out of me.
- 是吗？ - 没错 - Yeah? - Yeah.
我想或许我该上楼去 在我的沙发上好好睡一觉 Thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch.
那关我什么事？ Why would I care about that?
不为什么 我只是说… No reason. I'm just saying that...
我会在那里 ...that's where I'll be.
虽然结局不如预期中理想 事实上我很满意自己的表现 As bad as that went, I actually enjoyed myself.
我想我要为我做过的 所有蠢事道歉 I think that I'm going to apologize for all the stupid things that I do.
你为什么不改掉 做蠢事的习惯？ Why don't you just stop doing stupid things?
- 那样子你就不必道歉了 - 我希望可以两件事一起做 - Then you wouldn't have to apologize. - I'd love it if I could do both.
好吧 我得问你 All right, I have to ask.
什么？ What?
如果我变胖了 你会跟我分手吗？ Will you break up with me if I get fat again?
什么？ What?
你跟茱丽分手 她变得有多胖呢？ You broke up with Julie. How much weight did she gain?
她胖了一百四十五磅 A hundred and forty-five pounds.
在一年之内？ In one year?
天啊 她吃了什么？ 她的家人吗？ My God, what did she eat? Her family?
那不是重点 That's not the point.
我知道那样跟别人分手太蠢了 但当时我才十五岁 I know it was a stupid reason to break up with someone, but I was 15.
对 不只十五岁的男孩 觉得肥胖是个问题 Yeah, well, that's not the only time this was an issue.
你还记得 你跟我们一起过感恩节的事吗？ You remember when you spent Thanksgiving with us?
你骂我胖 You called me fat.
等一下 Wait a minute.
- 那完全是另一回事 - 怎么说？ - That was totally different. - How?
你不该听到那句话 我是在你背后偷偷说的 You were not supposed to hear that. I said that behind your back.
如果我怀孕了呢？ 我会变得跟现在不一样 What if I have babies, okay? I'm gonna look different.
我可以接受那样的事 但我不相信你能做到 I'm okay with that, but I'm not sure you are.
你得了解我不认为 你是个苗条的大美女 You have to realize I don't think of you as a thin, beautiful woman.
我待会儿就会为这种事情道歉 This is one of the things that I can apologize for later.
我是说你是摩妮卡 What I mean is, you're Monica.
我吗？我爱上的人是摩妮卡 Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
继续说 Keep going.
不论你变胖或是变瘦… So you can balloon up or you can shrink down...
我还是会爱你 ...and I will still love you.
即使我缩小到只有两寸高？ Even if I shrink down to 2 inches tall?
那我会把你放在我的口袋里 I'd carry you around in my pocket.
我爱你 I love you.
备胎还是对女人很有一套 Skidmark still got a way with the ladies.
嗨 菲比 Hi, Pheebs.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
我来跟你道歉 I just want to apologize.
我真的很抱歉我太孩子气了 I'm really sorry I was a baby.
那太可笑了 瑞秋 我们都曾经是小孩子 That's ridiculous. Rachel, we were all babies once.
- 你是说今天的事 - 没错 - Oh, you mean today. - Yeah.
对 你知道吗？ 你应该赢的 Yeah, and you know, you deserve to win.
我一直在想这件事 And I was thinking about it.
如果你是摩妮卡的伴娘 那我就是你的伴娘 If you're Monica's maid of honor, I get to be yours.
- 没错 - 对 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah.
摩妮卡跟钱德订婚时 我收集了一些东西 When Monica and Chandler got engaged, I put some stuff together.
- 以防万一 - 那真的是太好了 谢谢 - Just in case. - Oh, that's so sweet. Thanks.
我知道摩妮卡 很喜欢这本诗集 Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves.
天啊 这真有趣 你看 Oh, God, this is funny. Look.
这是有一年万圣节 她打扮成新娘的照片 Here's a picture from one Halloween when she dressed up as a bride.
她要我帮她拉婚纱 She made me carry her train...
那真的很奇怪 因为我扮的是神力女超人 ...which was weird because I was Wonder Woman.
喔 这是我发现的小包包 Oh, and here's a little purse that I found.
我想应该可以把婚戒放在这里 I just thought they could hold the rings in there.
- 喔 - 还有… - Oh. - Something. And...
上好的手帕 因为很多人会在婚礼哭 ...vintage handkerchiefs, you know, because people cry at weddings.
我得拿几条走 I'm just gonna grab a couple of these.
这真的是棒极了 This stuff is great.
我都忘了我把它放在这里 I forgot this was in here.
这是我留下来 要在自己婚礼上用的吊袜带 This was the garter that I was saving for my wedding.
我希望它能成为 被摩妮卡"借走的东西" And I wanted it to be Monica's "something borrowed."
它还是蓝色的 And it's blue.
对 Yeah.
瑞秋 我认为你应该 当摩妮卡的伴娘 Rach, I think that you should be Monica's maid of honor.
真的吗？ You do?
- 为什么？ - 因为我想这对你来说意义更重大 - Why? - Because I think it means more to you.
但菲比 你赢了 But, Pheebs, honey, you earned it.
没关系 我是说… It's fine. I mean, this is something...
你从十四岁就想这么做了吧？ ...that you've been thinking about since you were, what, 14?
不 那时我才十岁 我发育的很早 No, I was 10. I just developed early.
我的天啊 Man alive!
- 嘿 怎么了？ - 嘿 - Hey, what's going on? - Hey!
我们决定由瑞秋来当你的伴娘 We decided Rachel is going to be your maid of honor.
那真的是太棒了 Oh, that's great!
哇 太棒了 我们得开始计划了 Oh, wow. Okay, we really have to start planning.
我有很多特别的好点子 I have really specific ideas.
我们应该一星期开四次会 We should meet four times a week.
到我家来 我们得在上班前开会 Come to my place, we'll get together before work.
你觉得如何？六点半 我家见 好兴奋 What do you say, 6:30, my place? So excited!
好吧 你现在笑吧 Yeah, okay. You laugh now.
她就会是你的伴娘 She's gonna be yours.
我睡得好熟 Great nap.
我也是 It really was.
老兄 你在做什么？ Dude, what the hell are you doing?
天啊 God!
失陪了 Excuse me.