罗斯 这个彗星的事 到底什么时候开始？ Ross, when's this comet thing start?
理论上来说 七百万年前 Well, technically, it started 7 billion years ago.
- 不 不 - 噢 天啊 - No, no. - Oh, God.
好 我不讲课 好吗？ Okay. Fine, I'll stop. No teaching, okay?
我们只欣赏美丽的流光划过天空 We'll just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky.
- 好吗？ - 好的 - Okay? - Okay.
它的正式名字 是巴布斯坦王 好 好 Whose official name is Bapstein-King. Okay! Okay!
在那里 你看 There it is. Oh, look at that!
大自然真是神奇 Isn't Mother Nature amazing?
那是一台飞机 That's a plane.
好吧 1700袋的花生 飞在那么高的地方… Well, all right, 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high...
也是很神奇 ...that's pretty amazing too.
- 我在想能不能看到我家 - 不能 看不到 - I wonder if you can see my apartment. - No, you can't.
- 什么？ - 我不知道 - What? - I don't know.
看看这些星星 Man, look at all those stars.
无涯的天空 让你有无尽遐思 对吗？ Infinite space. It really makes you wonder, doesn't it?
- 知道还有什么让你有无尽遐想？ - 什么？ - Know what else makes you wonder? - Huh?
看看那个妞的胸部 Check out the rack on that chick.
我们已经在外面两个小时了… We've been out here for two hours...
还没看到笨彗星 我们可以走了吗？ ...and we haven't seen any stupid comets. Can we go now?
我是说 钱德冷死了 I mean, Chandler's getting chilly.
不 我没有 No, I'm not.
那你为什么穿着摩妮卡的夹克？ Then why are you wearing Monica's jacket?
因为好看 Because it's flattering!
走吧 摩妮卡 走吧 摩妮卡 Come on, Monica. Come on, Monica.
- 我们也要走了 租了电影看 - 我从不错过看电影 - We're taking off too. We rented a movie. - Oh, I won't say no to a movie.
菲比 其实我们想独处 Oh, Pheebs, we just actually wanted to be alone.
- 带我一起走 - 哦 好 - Shh. Get me out of here. - Oh, okay.
- 嘿 罗斯 - 怎样？ - Hey, Ross. - What?
- 你看看 - 那是彗星吗？ - Check this out. - Is it the comet?
不 那是只被焦油黏住的虫 No. Look, there's a bug stuck in tar right here.
我不能相信… I can't believe...
我带你来看巴布斯坦王彗星… I bring you to see the Bapstein-King comet...
大自然最壮观的现象之一… ...one of nature's most spectacular phenomena...
而你只关心被焦油黏住的虫 和一个女人 ...and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and some woman.
你知道 有两个女人 老兄 You know, there's two women, dude.
在哪里 Show me where.
好 在那里 Right... Right up here.
乔伊 我们拿来顶住门的管子呢？ Joey, where's the pipe that was holding the door open?
我不知道 I don't know.
哦 我知道 Yeah, I do.
- 乔伊 - 怎样？嘿 别看着我 - Joey! - What? Hey, don't look at me!
是你要上来看什么笨汉堡王彗星的 You wanted to come up here and look for some stupid Burger King comet.
它叫做巴布斯坦王彗星 好吗？ It's called the Bapstein-King comet, okay?
嘿 巴布斯坦是一位 很受尊敬的太空人 由… Hey, Bapstein was a very well-respected astronomer from...
不 No! No!
不 No!
- 摩妮卡 - 她在睡觉 - Monica. - She's sleeping.
我知道 很快问一个问题 I know. Just a quick question.
哪一部是《彗星撞地球》 哪一部是《世界末日》？ Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon?
《彗星撞地球》是有劳勃杜瓦那部 Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duvall.
《世界末日》是如果你叫醒我 会发生在你身上的 Armageddon is what's going to happen to you if you wake me up.
抱歉 我睡不着 Sorry, I just can't sleep.
哦 Ooh!
你在看的那本书在哪儿？ 有两个女人在溜冰… Where's that book you're reading with two women who are ice-skating...
戴着有花的帽子的 ...and wearing those hats with the flowers on it.
每次我一看到它的封面 我就… Because every time I look at that cover, I'm like:
在客厅 那里有灯… It's in the living room, where there's also a light...
而且没有人会踢你小腿 ...and no one will kick you in the shin.
什么？ What?
哦 Ow!
拜托不要是太空船 拜托不要是太空船 Please don't be a spaceship. Please don't be a spaceship.
感谢上帝 Oh, thank God.
嗯 Hm.
你怎么可能还在哔？我把你断电了 How could you be beeping? I just disconnected you!
我拿掉了你的电池 怎么还能…？不要打断我说话 I took out your battery! How can...?
不要打断我 Don't interrupt me!
瑞秋 摩妮卡 Monica! Monica!
真是的 Come on!
真受不了 I can't believe this!
好吧 我想我们知道 要怎么做才能下去 All right, well, I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
是啊 我想我们没有选择 Yeah, I guess we don't have a choice.
救命 救救我们 Help us! Please, help us!
我们被困在屋顶 下不去 We're stuck up on the roof, and we can't get down!
罗斯 Ross.
我是在想用逃生梯下去 I was thinking we'd just go down the fire escape.
我知道 我还没说完 I know. I wasn't finished.
但是不用担心 But don't worry!
我们会用逃生梯下去 We're gonna go down the fire escape!
嘘嘘… Shh-shh-shh!
抱歉 我想热点牛奶来帮助睡眠 I'm sorry, I thought I'd make some warm milk and it would help me sleep.
用炒菜锅？ With a wok?
我以为你要看我的书来帮助睡觉？ I thought my boring book was gonna put you to sleep.
它后来变得很有意思 It got interesting.
可恶的欧普拉 Damn you, Oprah!
这儿 我来替你热牛奶 反正我已经起来了 Here, let me make the milk. I'm up anyway.
既然我们已经起来了 你知道可以做什么吗？ You know what we could do now that we're up?
我们可以促膝长谈 We could just talk to each other all night long.
像我们刚开始约会时那样 会很好玩的 Like when we were first going out. It'd be fun.
- 好 听来是很有意思 - 是啊 - Okay, that does sound fun. - Yeah.
第二个妹妹死的时候 你是不是很生气？ So how bummed were you when the second sister died, huh?
第二个妹妹死了？ The second sister dies?!
没有 No.
没有 我是在说我在看的那本书 No, I was talking about the book I was reading.
《阿契漫画合集》里第二个妹妹死了？ The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest?
对 That's correct.
要不要进卧房去？比较舒服一点 Want to go in the bedroom? It's more comfortable.
- 当然 - 好 - Sure. - Okay.
等一下 你有没有把合约寄去米兰？ Oh, wait, did you send those contracts to Milan?
- 你觉得这是性感的谈话… - 不 - If this is your idea of sexy talk... - No.
你有没有寄出我拿给你的合约？ Seriously. Did you overnight the contracts I gave you?
什么合约？ What contracts?
拜托 告诉我这是 你另一个我搞不懂的笑话 Please tell me this is just one of your jokes that I don't get. Heh, heh.
像什么？ Like what?
像是你把电话放在裤档？ Like the thing when you put the phone in your pants?
泰格 我很认真 这不好笑 Tag, I'm serious. This isn't funny.
那些合约今天一定要寄出去 Those contracts had to go out today.
你没给我什么合约 You didn't give me any contracts.
有 我有 我还贴了 一张随手贴 写着 Yes, I did. I put a little Post-it on it that said:
"今天一定要寄出" 在"今天"下面划了三道 "Must go out today," and I underlined "today" three times.
然后我还在角落画了一颗心 因为我不想太像上司 Then I put a little heart in the corner because I didn't wanna seem too bossy.
你没有给我 You never gave them to me.
如果我们到办公室去 你会看到它在你的办公桌上 If we went to the office, you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
不 我会看到你很窘 因为它不在我的办公桌上 No, I'd see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk.
也许我很窘 是因为你用裤档接电话 Maybe I'm embarrassed because you talk on the phone with your crotch.
- 你要现在去办公室？ - 不 - You want to go to the office now? - No.
算了 很晚了 我们不要到办公室去 Come on, it's late. We're not going down to the office.
是 我了解 我也不会想 被证明是错的 Yeah, I understand. I wouldn't want to be proved wrong either.
好 拿外套 All right, get your coat!
你什么时候解开的？好厉害 Oh! When did you unhook this? Nice work!
不能再下去了 卡住了 It won't go down any further. It's stuck.
我们只有跳下去 We'll just have to jump.
我们一定要确定着陆在… Yep. Now, we're gonna have to make sure to land...
那块冰的右边 好吗？ ...to the right of that patch of ice, okay?
不要撞到旁边的垃圾桶 Not hit the dumpster on the other side.
试着避开中间那棕红色的奇怪东西 And try to avoid that weird brownish-red stuff in the middle.
当你下到下面以后… So when you get down there...
你到屋顶让我进去 ...you go up to the roof and you let me in.
- 等一下 要我去？ - 你会没事的 - Whoa. Wait a minute. I have to do it? - Yeah. You'll be fine.
就像高空弹跳 It'll be just like bungee jumping, you know?
但你不会回弹 But instead of bouncing back up, you won't.
要是我的头撞到水泥呢？ Well, what if I smack my head on the concrete?
乔伊 我不想骗你 是有这个可能的 Well, I'm not gonna lie to you, Joey. It's a possibility.
我不知道 这样吧 掷铜板决定谁去 I don't know. Tell you what, let's flip to see who does it.
- 在空中时说出你要的那一面 好吧？ - 好吧 - You call it in the air, all right? - Oh, all right. Tail. Oh!
- 你看得到是哪一面吗？ - 不行 - Can you see what it is? - No.
- 你小心一点 - 罗斯 不要这样 - Okay. Well, you be careful. - No. No, Ross, stop.
我不跳 I'm not jumping.
明天我要试镜 如果摔断腿就不能去了 Look, I have an audition tomorrow, and I can't go if I break my leg.
我不跳 我有一个儿子 要是我死了他就没爸爸了 Well, I'm not jumping. I have a son. He won't have a father if I die.
看来我们平手 So it looks like we're even.
好 这条线… Okay, so this wire...
接到这条线 插到这儿 ...is connected to this wire, which plugs into here.
好 让哔声停止 我只要… Okay, so to get the beeping to stop, all I have to do...
好吧 Okay.
做得好 菲比 Well done, Pheebs.
你要我怎样？ What do you want from me?!
你的牛奶来了 你想谈什么？ Here's your milk. What should we talk about?
什么？什么？什么？ What? What? What?
甜心 你在睡觉吗？抱歉 给你 Oh, were you sleeping, sweetie? I'm sorry. Here.
好 你爱怎么找都行… Okay. Feel free to look...
不过我告诉你 那些合约没在这张桌上 ...but I'm telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
你怎么可能知道？ 你看看有多乱 泰格 How could you know? Look at this mess, Tag.
这就是我说的 你一定要有组织一点 This is what I'm talking about. You have to be more organized.
有报纸 有杂志 你…喔 You've got newspapers, you've got magazines, you... Oh!
这小妞是谁？ And who's this chippy?
对你来说太幼稚一点 随便啦 A little young for you, but whatever.
是我妹 That's my sister.
真的？牙套好可爱 Really? Very cute braces.
你知道吗？重点是 泰格 开始找吧… Anyway, you know what? The point is, Tag, start looking...
你会在你桌上找到那些合约 ...because you're gonna find those contracts on your desk.
你想像是什么时候给我的？ 早上还是下午？ So when do you imagine you gave them to me? Morning or afternoon?
下午 塞纳先生午餐后 进来我办公室… In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch...
他把它放在我桌上 我贴了一张随手贴在上面… ...he put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-it on it...
写着 ...that said:
"今天一定要寄出" "Must go out today."
请你继续找 好吗？ So you just keep looking in there, all right?
不在这里 Not here.
奇怪 Puzzler.
真奇怪 Bit of a puzzle.
你去影印室找一找 也许你放在那里 Why don't you check the copy room? Maybe the contracts are in there.
- 我怎么可能放在那里？ - 我不知道 - How could I have left them in the copy room? - I don't know.
你的私处怎么可能打电话？ How can your genitals make phone calls?
好吗？这不是个完美的世界 请你去找一找 Okay? It's not a perfect world. Just go, please?
- 好吧 - 谢谢 - Fine. - Thank you.
喂？ Hello?
我还是不懂 I still don't get it.
你还醒着吗？ You still awake?
是啊 你呢？ Yeah. You?
你知道说话的是我吧？ You do know that was me that just said that, right?
嘿 Hey.
既然我们都醒着… As long as we're both up...
怎样？ Yeah?
我希望你不是想要打扫客厅 I hope you're not thinking about cleaning the living room.
我饿死了 晚饭时我在想什么啊？ Man, I'm starving. What the hell was I thinking at dinner?
"你要汤还是沙拉？" 两样都要 永远都两样都要 "Do you want soup or salad?" Both, always order both.
我看了半天 我想没人在家 You know, I'm looking, and I don't think anyone's home here.
我说我们打破窗户… I say we just break the window...
爬进去… ...crawl through...
之后再解释 ...and you know, explain later.
- 没人在家？ - 我想没有 - No one's home? - I don't think so.
喂？ Hello?
当你进去之后… So when you get in there...
你我该在这里分手了 Okay. This is where you and I part ways.
吵死人的贱货 Noisy bitch!
怎么？你在干什么？ Oh, what? What are you doing?
你知道刚刚发生什么事吗？ Do you know what just happened?
是啊 我们做爱 然后睡着了 Yeah. We had sex and then we fell asleep.
不 我们做了一半… No. We were in the middle of sex...
然后你睡着了 ...and you fell asleep.
不 不 没有这回事 No. No, that's not true.
不 这是最棒的一次 No, best time ever.
你震撼了我的世界 Yeah. You rock my world.
- 摩妮卡？ - 怎么？ - Monica? - What?
这是我表现最好的时候 你错过了 I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it.
请你醒来 好好做完它 So please wake up so we can do it right.
好 好 我准备好了 Okay. Okay. I'm ready.
- 来 大哥 - 好 - Come on, big fella. - Okay.
- 好好表现一番 - 是啊 - Give me the good stuff. - Yeah.
不 不 不 不要睡觉 No, no, no. Don't fall asleep.
我要替你煮咖啡 Okay, I'm going to make you some coffee.
我大概不会把咖啡粉洒了一地 Well, I probably won't spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
好吧 我起来了 我起来了 Okay, I'm up. I'm up.
嘿 咖啡来了… Hi. I got you some coffee to...
你找到东西了没？ So you got anything for me?
- 还是没有 - 我的天 - Still no luck. - Oh, my God.
你有检查过整个桌子 和所有的抽屉吗？ You checked your entire desk and all the drawers?
- 要我再找一次？ - 请你再找一次 - Want me to check again? - I wish you would.
它没有在这里 Well, no, it's not in there.
那个抽屉呢？ How about that drawer?
它不在这里 有可能在你办公室吗？ Well, it's not out here. Any chance it could be in your office?
我不知道 I don't know.
我找找看 I mean, let me check.
有吗？ Any luck?
请进来说话 Can I see you in my office for a minute?
好 Yeah.
你找到了 You found them!
我不会偷笑 I'm not even gonna gloat.
- 我很安慰整件事… - 你放在我桌上的 - I'm just really relieved it's... - You put these on my desk.
- 我没有 - 真的吗？ - I did not. - Oh, really?
它从你最下面的抽屉溜出来… So they slid out of your bottom drawer...
爬过地板 跳到我桌上来？ ...crawled across the floor, then jumped onto my desk?
你怎么知道它在我最下面的抽屉？ How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?
此刻我令你欲火焚身 I am so hot for you right now.
我的天 你怎么回来的？ Oh, my God! How did you get back here?
菲比•布非？ Phoebe Buffay?
警报器？ Fire Alarm?
嗨 救火员先生 有什么事吗？ Oh, hi, Officer Fireman. Can I help you?
我们在垃圾桶发现你的警报器 Your fire alarm was in the trash.
- 不是我的 - 是你的 - That's not mine. - Yes, it is.
你怎么知道？ How do you know?
如果你要扔掉警报器 If you dump a fire alarm, don't use a blanket that says:
不要用写着"菲比•布非的财物 不是摩妮卡的"的毯子 "Property of Phoebe Buffay, not Monica."
你有搜索令吗？ Do you have a search warrant?
我查过了 这里还是美国 Because the last time I checked, this was still America.
请把它装回去 折除它是违法的 Please reattach it. It's against the law to disconnect them.
好吧 拜托告诉我 怎样才能让它不叫？ Fine. But please, God, tell me how to stop it from going off?
摁下重设的按钮 Press the reset button.
有重设按钮？谢谢 谢谢 There's a reset button? Oh, thank you. Thank you.
有重设按钮？ Oh. There's a reset button?
我的天 My God!
我怎么没看到？ Why didn't I see that?
重设按钮 重设按钮 Reset button. Reset button.
重设按钮在哪里？ 哦 在这里 喔 Where is there a reset button? Oh, here it is! Oh!
天啊 God!
- 你抓好了吗？ - 好了 - Okay, you have a good grip? - Yeah.
我要开始爬过你了 Okay, I'm gonna start to climb down you now.
- 好 快一点 - 好 - All right, just hurry up. - Okay.
我应该面向你爬下来 所以我们面对面的… Now, should I climb down your front so we're face to face...
还是应该背对你爬下来… ...or should I climb down your back so we're...
然后屁股对着脸？ ...butt to face?
- 面对面 - 我喜欢面对面 - Face to face. - I like face to face.
- 我来了 - 好 - Okay, here I come. - All right.
我的天…罗斯 你多重？ Oh, my... How much do you weigh, Ross?
我不想回答 过节时胖的还没瘦下去 I prefer not to answer that right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.
我们说要面对面时… When we talked about face to face...
我想我们没有想清楚 ...I don't think we thought it all the way through.
- 你要我怎么办？ - 从我身上滑下 跳下去 - What do you want me to do? - Just shimmy down me and drop.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hi.
也许我该吊着 你爬过我下去 You know, maybe I should hang, and you should climb down me.
是吗？也许我们应该多讨论一下 Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!
- 看起来还好远 - 没有那么远 跳就是了 - It still looks pretty far. - It's not that far. Just drop.
不要催我 Do not rush me!
我的裤子开始下滑 我没穿内裤 Ross, my pants are starting to come down, and I'm not wearing any underwear.
哇哦 Whoa!
我的脚踝 我伤到我的脚踝 Ow! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle!
我想我扭到了…这里有个硬币 I think I twisted it when... Ooh, a quarter!
真的是你的最佳表现 That really was some of your best work.
我说了嘛 I told you.
真不能相信 I can't believe it.
只剩两小时我就要打电话请假 I've only got two hours until I call in sick for work.
我7分钟后就要起床 I have to be up in seven minutes.
你不会相信的 如果你还有7分钟… Well, you're not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes...
真的？ Really?
你想要？ You want to?
你去拿吸尘器 我拿家具打亮剂 Okay. You get the vacuum cleaner. I'll get the furniture polish.