- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
天啊 你打扫过了 看看地板 Oh, my God, you cleaned! Look at these floors!
你还擦了窗户 You did the windows!
我跟你提了好几个月 你真的打扫了 I have been begging for months and you did, you cleaned!
- 唠叨是有用的 - 不 事实上这不是我做的 - And nagging works! - No, uh, I didn't actually do this.
不 我又边睡觉边打扫了 Oh, no. Was I cleaning in my sleep again?
不 打扫的人也不是你 No, it wasn't you.
- 那么是谁 - 我请了一个女佣 耶 - Well, then, who? - I got a maid. Yay!
我希望你说的"女佣"是指"情妇" Oh, well, I hope by "maid," you mean "mistress"...
因为有其他女人在打扫… ...because if some other woman was cleaning...
甜心 我知道你不喜欢让出控制权 Now, honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control.
"让出"的意思 应该就是"失去"吧 "Relinquish" is just a fancy word for "lose."
她真的很棒 Look, she's really nice, okay?
她还说她喜欢你放海绵的方式 And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
她真的那么说 Did she really say that?
对 我会记得 因为我以为她在开玩笑 Yes, I distinctly remember because I thought it was a joke.
- 给她一个机会 好吗 - 好吧 我办得到的 - Now, just give her a chance, okay? - Fine, I can do it.
哇 Whoo.
- 怎么了 - 通常我一焦虑就会打扫 - What's the matter? - Usually when I'm anxious, I clean.
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
是谁的行动电话在响 那真的很吵 Whose cell phone is that? It's just so annoying.
走到哪里都会发生这种事 Everywhere you go.
我想声音是从你的包包里传出来的 I think it's coming from your bag.
从来没有人会打电话给我 I never get calls!
喂 Hello?
嗨 我是万圣节派对上的艾力克 乌苏拉的未婚夫 Hi, it's Eric, from the Halloween party. Ursula's fiance.
天啊 艾力克 嗨 等一下 你怎么知道我的电话号码 Oh, my God, Eric, hi! Wait, how'd you get this number?
我有个朋友在当警察 他帮我查到的 I have a friend who's a cop, and he got it.
那真的是太不可思议了 我吓了一大跳 Wow. What an incredible violation and wonderful surprise!
我想你应该要知道 我跟乌苏拉分手了 I just... I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
是吗 他办到了 Oh, you did? He did it, he did it!
- 他做了什么 - 我在讲电话 - Wow, what did he do? - Shh! I'm talking.
总之我很好奇 Anyway, I was wondering...
你会不会吃午餐 ...if you were the sort of person who eats lunch?
你是在约我吗 Are you asking me out?
因为那很奇怪 你刚刚才跟我姊姊分手 Because it'd be weird since you just broke up with my sister.
对 好吧 Yeah, um, okay.
抱歉 再见 I'm sorry. Bye.
不 等一下 我会那么说是希望你把我当成好人 No, wait! I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person.
继续争取我吧 Fight for me!
我不会接受你的拒绝 Uh, I won't take no for an answer.
虽然不是很好 但我们能边吃午餐边练习 Not great, we can work on it at lunch.
我可以在两个小时里赶到你家 Okay, um, I can be at your apartment in two hours.
太棒了 你怎么知道我住在哪里 Great. Uh, how do you know where I live?
我也有朋友 I've got friends too.
- 好吧 再见 - 再见 - Okay, bye. - Bye.
天啊 我要跟艾力克约会 Oh, my God, I'm going out with Eric!
今天比我想像中还要美好 Oh, this day is gonna be much better than I thought it was gonna be. Heh.
罗斯 我没办法跟你吃午餐 Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch.
很明显地 我午餐时间有空 So apparently I'm available for lunch.
我没办法 我很忙 我在找房子 Can't, I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting.
你要搬家 You're moving?
孩子生下来后 我没办法跟乔伊一起住 I can't live with Joey once the baby comes.
我不希望我的孩子会说的第一句话是"你好吗" I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doing?"
乔伊知道你要搬家吗 So does Joey know you're moving?
我还没有跟他谈 但我知道他会觉得如释重负 I haven't discussed it, but he's gonna be relieved.
上星期他带一个女孩回家 Last week he brought this girl over...
我跟她谈害喜的问题 ...and I started talking to her about morning sickness.
还把我怀孕纪念册的照片拿给她看 Then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
- 那不会很煽情吗 - 一点都没有 - That's not really porn. - Not so much.
今天早上我在电梯里听说 You know what? If you're looking for a place...
我住的公寓里有个女住户过世了 ...I heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
天啊 她很老吗 她的公寓景观好吗 Oh, my God. Was she old? Does she have a view?
我不知道 但那一定会很棒 Well I don't know. But how great would that be, huh?
你搬到我的公寓里来 You living in my building?
我可以照顾宝宝 想过去就过去… I could take care of the baby, I could come over whenever I want...
当然得先得到你的允许 ...with your permission.
- 那真的很棒 - 对 - That really would be great. - Yeah.
我们能去看看吗 Well, can we see it?
或许我们不该那么做 我是说她今天早上才过世 Oh, maybe we shouldn't. If she just died this morning. Out of respect.
对 你说得对 Yeah. No. No, you're right.
- 可以吗 - 好吧 - Shall we? - Yeah.
- 有什么事吗 - 嗨 我是罗斯·盖勒 - Yes? - Hi. I'm Ross Geller.
我住在这栋公寓里 I live in the building.
我是瑞秋 我很喜欢这栋公寓 And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.
听说佛哈芬太太过世了 我真的很遗憾 I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away, and I am so sorry for your loss.
- 她没有过世 - 什么 - She didn't pass away. - What?
- 我妈妈还活着 - 谢天谢地 - My mother's still alive. - Oh, thank God!
她今天早上差点就过世了 It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning...
但她是个意志力很强的老太婆 ...but she's a tough old bird.
你跟她很熟吗 Are you close with her?
当然 Of course. Heh.
我们常常… Uh, yeah. She and I would talk all the time...
在洗衣间聊天 ...in the laundry room.
你会说荷兰文 You speak Dutch?
我会说的 但那太痛苦了 You know, I would, but it's just too painful.
她真的没死 So she's really not dead.
不 她还在努力 No. She's hanging in there.
你能告诉我她住的公寓是一房还是两房吗 Do you think...? Could you tell me, is she hanging in in a one-bedroom or a two?
宾太太 这个清洁剂太棒了 你在哪里买的 Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible. Where did you get it?
喔… 那是我自己做的 Oh, well, um, I make it myself.
两份的阿摩尼亚加一份的柠檬汁 秘方是… It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. The secret ingredient is...
你知道吗 我们才刚刚认识 You know what? We just met.
好吧 我去洗衣间拿衣服 Okay. Uh, I'm gonna get the clothes from the laundry room now...
我回来后会打扫冰箱后面 ...and when I come back, I'll clean behind the fridge.
我爱她 I love her.
我马上回来 I'll be back in a minute.
好吧 Okay.
- 看吧 我告诉过你了 - 她偷了我的牛仔裤 - See? I told you. - She stole my jeans!
什么 What?
我找了一个星期 她正穿着它 I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them.
她偷了你的裤子 So she stole your pants...
然后回来在你面前穿着它 ...and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
你不明白吗 这是完美犯罪 Don't you see? It's the perfect crime.
她一定计划了好几年 She must have been planning this for years.
我会证明给你看的 I will prove it to you.
我把笔掉在大腿上 About a week ago, I was wearing those jeans.
在胯部留下了墨水印 I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch.
她回来后 我会找到它 让你看看那个墨水印 When she comes back, I will find it and show you that stain!
卖出那件牛仔裤的公司难道 Is it possible the company that sold the jeans...
只做了一件牛仔裤吗 ...made more than just the one pair?
我猜你说得对 I guess.
我们应该先找找看 So shouldn't we give her the benefit of the doubt before we go...
再去看她的胯部吧 ...snooping around her crotch?
好吧 我很高兴我没有告诉她我的秘方 Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient.
我真的很好奇 你的秘方是什么 Heh. Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?
是啊 Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.
- 嗨 - 请进 我很高兴你来了 - Hi. - Come in. I'm so glad you're here.
对 我也是 Yeah. Me too.
但不像你那么震惊愤怒 Not in the shaky, angry way you are, though.
抱歉 我刚刚见过乌苏拉 Sorry. I just saw Ursula.
我得把订婚戒指拿回来 I had to get the engagement ring back.
看到她让我想起一切 Just seeing her brought it all back.
那些谎言 还有她是怎么利用我的 All the lies, the way she used me.
我只是…光是看到她 我就觉得好生气… I just... I get so angry, just looking at her...
- 我是说看到她的脸 - 对 - Face. - Yeah. Yeah.
抱歉 当我看到你… I'm sorry. It's just, when I look at you...
我就像是看到了她 ...I see her.
我看到她时 会觉得很生气 And when I see her, I get a little bit angry.
- 或许这太奇怪了 - 等一下 - Maybe this is too weird. - No, wait.
我看着你时 There's only a problem...
只会有一个问题 ...when I look at you.
我知道了 I got it. I got it.
不 别把你的眼睛挖出来 No, don't tear out your eyes!
- 我只是要把隐形眼镜拿掉 - 好吧 试试看 - I was just gonna take out my lenses. - Oh, yeah. Try that.
那样子好多了吗 So is that better?
才怪 Not really.
你看起来很模糊 You... Ugh. You're blurry.
还是很像乌苏拉 你是"模糊的乌苏拉" But you still look like Ursula. You're "Blursula."
好吧 等一下 或许… Okay, wait. Maybe...
或许我该暂时不要看你 If I just don't look at you for a while.
看吧 成功了 我不再生气 See? It works. I'm not angry at all anymore.
这是个很棒的约会 This is a great date!
听着 艾力克 转过来 Look, Eric, turn around.
我喜欢你 但不应该这么难的 这是我们第一次约会 Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard. It's our first date.
第一次约会应该是 刺激 火花四射… First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity.
"他刚刚摸了我的手 他是有意的吗 " And "Ooh, he touched my hand, did he mean touch my hand?"
还有初吻… And, you know, first kisses, and...
第二次接吻 ...second kisses.
谢谢你的咖啡 或者是… Thanks for the coffee, or, uh, ahem:
对 我们喝完了 Yeah, we're done.
埃泽尔 埃泽尔 "Ezel"? Ezel...
罗斯 Hey, Ross. Listen.
你要去人工造浪池看新的立体电影吗 You wanna go see that new IMAX movie on tide pools?
- 真的吗 - 不是 - Really? - No, ha, ha.
但我帮你 我跟钱德弄到了尼克队的门票 But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
- 太棒了 - 好吧 喝完咖啡就走 - Sweet! - All right, finish your coffee. Let's go.
好 我得先回家一趟 Okay, I have to stop by my place.
你要录球赛吗 你每次都这么做 你又没有要上电视 To tape the game? You do this every time. You're not gonna be on TV!
不 我得去看看那间公寓是不是空下来了 No, no, I have to see if this apartment became available.
- 你要换公寓 - 不是我 是瑞秋要搬家 - You're switching apartments? - Not for me, it's for Rachel.
- 她已经有公寓了 - 宝宝一出生她就要搬家 - Rachel has an apartment. - When the baby comes, she's gonna move.
- 真的吗 - 对 - She is? - Yeah.
你该不会希望她跟宝宝住在那里吧 You didn't expect her to live there with a baby, did you?
我真的没想过 I guess I didn't really think about it.
埃泽尔 Ezel.
阿甘 你是个混蛋 Hey, Gunther, you're an ezel. Huh.
该死 Damn it.
- 你的牛仔裤很漂亮 - 谢谢 - Nice jeans. - Oh, thanks.
- 我喜欢你的上衣 - 你不会拿到它的 - I like your top. - Oh. You're not getting it.
- 发生了什么事 - 我睡着了 - What happened? - Oh. I fell asleep.
我想要午休一下 I was thinking about taking my lunch break.
噢 你能擦一下橱柜上面吗 那会让你午餐时食欲大增 Will you do the top of the cabinets? That'll really work up your appetite.
好吧 All right.
哈罗 Hello.
发生了什么事 What's going on?
抱歉 我没有请过女佣 这样子不行吗 I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before. Is this not okay?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 球赛好玩吗 - 还不错 我吃太多了 - How was the game? - Uh, it was okay. I ate way too much.
我跟罗斯谈过 他说你在找新公寓 So, um, I was talking to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place?
对 我希望能搬到对街去 如果那些荷兰人愿意让出公寓 Oh, yeah. Hopefully across the street. If certain Dutch people would just let go.
我希望你留下来 I was kind of hoping you'd stay.
乔伊 我得搬走 这里住不下一个宝宝 But Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here.
住不下 只是一个宝宝 枕这么大吧 No room? It's a baby. It's, like, this big.
你可以把宝宝放在这里 You could put it over here.
或是这里 那很可爱吧 Or we could put it right here. Aw! Cute, right?
或是这里 你根本不会注意到 Or over here. You wouldn't even notice it.
"宝宝在哪里 " "就在…" "Where's the baby?" "Oh, it's right over..."
甜心 问题不只是要把他放在哪里 Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it.
宝宝会改变你全部的生活 他们总是哭个不停 A baby changes everything. They cry all the time.
想像你带女孩回家 Imagine bringing home some girl...
想跟她上床时宝宝却哭个不停 ...and trying to score when there's a screaming baby.
我可以接受挑战 那应该会很容易 I could use a challenge. It's getting pretty easy.
你要我留下来真的很贴心 但我不能那么做 It's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I can't do that to you.
那会毁了你的生活 I mean, it would disrupt your entire life.
只是… It's just...
我很喜欢跟你一起住 I love living with you so much.
- 我希望一切都不必改变 - 我知道 - I wish things didn't have to change. - I know.
我真的很怪罗斯 You know, I blame Ross for this.
- 我也有点怪他 - 对 - I do too, a little bit. - Yeah.
我会想念你的 I'm gonna miss you.
你是我遇过最辣的室友 You're the hottest roommate I ever had.
不 我得走了 有人预约我去按摩 Oh, no, I have to go. Ugh, I have a massage appointment.
不 留下来 我们继续吧 我可以付钱给你 No, stay here. We'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.
不 之前我因为那么做 惹上了大麻烦 No, I've gotten in trouble for that before.
- 待会见 - 没问题 - I'll see you later? - Absolutely.
我喜欢你接吻的方式 I love the way you kiss.
真的吗 那是我最逊的部分 Really? That's the thing I'm worst at!
你等着瞧吧 Heh, you'll see.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey! Um...
- 我想布兰达需要加薪 - 为什么 - I think Brenda needs a raise. - How come?
因为我把头放在她的双腿之间 Because I put my head between her legs.
- 你要看她的裤子 - 那是我的裤子 - To see her pants? - They're my pants!
你确定吗 你看到墨水印了 Are you sure? Did you see the stain?
没有 我才刚刚就定位 后来就眼前一阵黑 No. I was getting into position, and everything went dark.
她没有偷我们的东西 你能不能算了 God, she is not stealing from us, okay? Will you let this go?
好吧 Fine.
- 她穿着我的胸罩 - 天啊 - She's wearing my bra! - Oh, dear God.
我的粉红色小花胸罩 我认得那条肩带 My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!
你不知道自己疯了吗 And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy?
我有个计划 Here's the plan, okay?
我先离开 你得去看布兰达的胸罩 I'm going to leave, and you're gonna look at Brenda's bra.
我也有个计划 不行 Here's another plan. No.
我很想这么做 但她以为我被她吸引 I would do it, but she thinks I'm attracted to her.
- 为什么 - 你不知道刚刚我的头放在哪里吗 - Why? - Did you not hear where my head was?
我们是一国的 这件事我们都有份 Come on! We're a team. We're in this together.
我担心陪审团也会那么认为 I fear a jury will see it the same way.
求你帮我 我常抓到你在瞄女人胸部 Do this for me. I catch you looking at women's breasts all the time.
你看到了 You see that?
你看到这个了吗 Do you see this? Unh...
好吧 我了解你的意思 All right. Yes, okay. I get your point.
如果那是她的胸罩 你能让她打扫吗 But if it's not her bra, will you just let the woman clean?
对 Yes. Absolutely. Okay?
你会知道它是我的 因为右罩杯蕾丝的地方 You'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacy part...
还破了一个大洞 ...there's very a noticeable rip.
你需要新衣服 You need new clothes.
- 嗨 她还好吗 - 情况看起来不妙 - Hi. How is she? - It's not looking good.
噢 Oh? Oh. Aw.
我帮她带了一些花过来 Well, I, uh, brought her some bloemen.
那真的是太棒了 That's so sweet.
你要跟她道别吗 那对她来说一定很重要 Would you like to say goodbye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.
我不知道该不该这么做 Oh, I don't know that it would. Heh.
- 她几乎不记得任何人了 - 那么好吧 - Well, her memory is pretty much gone. - All right, then.
- 嘿 - 欢迎你回来 - Hey! - Welcome back.
- 我们要继续吗 - 我不知道 - Should we pick up from where we left off? - I don't know.
我还因为今天下午的事觉得很累 I'm still tired from this afternoon.
- 为什么 - 我们做爱了 - Why? - Uh, the sex.
- 什么 - 你跟我做爱了 - What sex? - Our sex.
我们没有做爱 We didn't have sex.
如果我没有跟你做爱 Well if I didn't have sex with you...
我一定是跟一个长得很像… ...I had sex with somebody that looked an awful lot like...
- 噢 噢 - 不 不 - Ew. Ew. Ew, ew! - No, no, no, no!
- 你跟乌苏拉做爱 - 有一点啦 - You had sex with Ursula? - A little bit.
她走进来 我以为她是你 我吻了她… She walked in, I thought she was you and I kissed her and...
你没注意到衣服不一样吗 You didn't notice different clothes?
我看到你觉得很兴奋 I was just so excited to see you.
这真的是太奇怪了 Ugh! You know what? This is too weird.
不会的 我不想失去你 No. I don't wanna lose you. It's like I was saying to Ursula...
我在做爱的时候 跟乌苏拉说… ...when I was making love to her and thought she was you...
对 那太奇怪了 Yeah. It's too weird.
我猜就这样吧 So I guess this is it.
对 Yeah.
或许这么做是最好的 Maybe it's for the best.
- 你的味道跟她一样 - 对 你也是 - You smell just like her. - Yeah, so do you.
- 你在做什么 - 我在弯腰 - What are you doing? - I'm leaning.
我都在这里弯腰 This is where I lean.
好吧 Okay.
- 布兰达 有蜜峰 - 什么 - Brenda, a bee! - What?
他飞进你的上衣里了 Yes, it's flown into your blouse.
你最好快解开扣子免得被蛰伤 You better undo your buttons lest it sting you.
- 我想我知道这是怎么一回事了 - 是吗 - I think I know what's going on here. - You do?
听着 我知道你一定很难受 你太太是女同志… Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian...
但这是不对的 你结婚了 ...but it's wrong. You're married.
- 我完全了解 - 太好了 - I totally understand. - Okay, good. Ha-ha-ha.
我能看看你的胸罩吗 Could I just see your bra?
嗨 Hi.
- 你怎么会有那条牛仔裤 - 是你送我的 - Where'd you get those jeans? - You gave them to me.
- 我才没有 - 好吧 我拿走它 - No, I didn't! - All right, I took them.
我以为你不会介意 因为在胯部的地方有一大块墨水印 I figured it was okay, you've got an ink stain on the crotch.
- 不会吧 你也拿走了我的胸罩吗 - 什么胸罩 - Oh, no! Did you take my bra too? - What bra?
- 有小花的粉红色胸罩 - 你是说你正在穿的这件胸罩吗 - The pink one with the flowers. - You mean the one you're wearing?
我不干了 I quit!
正是时候 Sounds about right.
这是什么 - What is this? - Hey.
嘿 我只希望你考虑一下 Uh, this is just to give you an idea.
我们可以在这里装拉帘 宝宝还是有隐私… We can put screens here so the baby has privacy...
在摇篮上面装个音乐铃 ...and maybe a mobile, you know, over the crib...
这是宝宝监控器 宝宝没出生前 ...and, uh, here's a baby monitor which, until the baby comes...
我们可以把它当对讲机 ...we can use as walkie-talkies. Eh?
你真的是太体贴了 You're so sweet!
天啊 你还把企鹅宝宝送给宝宝 Oh, my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy!
我只是要向你示范宝宝该躺在哪里 That's really just to show where the baby would go.
快把它交给我吧 免得你误会了 Why don't I hold on to him so there's no confusion?
乔伊 宝宝会哭的 会非常地吵 Joey, the baby is gonna be crying. It's gonna be loud.
- 我很吵 - 他会整晚不睡 - I'm loud. - It's gonna be up all night.
- 我也会 - 他会大便 - I'm up all night. - It's gonna poop.
拜托 Hello?
你的女朋友们呢 What about the women you wanna bring home?
如果我把一个受不了宝宝的女人带回家… Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby...
或许我根本不该跟那个女人在一起 ...then maybe I don't wanna be with that woman.
或许我们该在俱乐部的浴室里做爱 Or maybe we'll do it in the bathroom of the club!
- 乔伊 你确定吗 - 对 - Joey, are you sure? - Yeah.
听着 我知道 有时候会很辛苦… Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay...
但是也会非常棒 ...but it'll also be really, really great.
拜托 瑞秋 我真的希望你留下来 Please, Rachel, I really want you to stay.
我也想留下来 谢谢你 I want me to stay too. Thank you.
乔伊 看看这个摇篮 它好可爱 Joey, look at this crib! It's so cute!
我知道 我在街上捡到的 I know. I found it on the street.
你是…真的吗 Are you...? Really?
- 它看起来还不错 - 是啊 - This is in such good condition. - Yeah.
被子下面是什么 Wow. Whoa, what's under the cover?
- 我不知道 - 他在动 - I don't know. - It's moving.
还在… Still...
- 他有尾巴 快把他丢出去 - 好吧 - Aah! It's got a tail! Get it out! - Oh, aah! Okay!
(谨以本片献给 珍珠·哈蒙)
那位老太太过世了 我怎么会知道呢 Well, the old lady died. And how do I know?
因为她的遗愿是给她最后一吻 Because her dying wish was for one last kiss.
但我不在乎 因为你拿到那间公寓了 太棒了 But I don't care because you got the apartment. Yes!
对喔 Ew, yeah.
我想我要留在这里 Um, I think I'm gonna stay here.
那真的很棒吧 Isn't that great?
什么 你… 但是… What? You... But...
埃泽尔 Ezels!