- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
有多少人会来参加宝宝的欢迎会 So, what's the final head count on my baby shower?
大约有20个人 有些同事有事没办法来 About 20. A couple people from work who had something else to do.
你的妹妹们打电话来说 她们没办法来 Also, your sisters called, neither can make it.
什么 你说她们不来参加… What? You mean they're not coming to a social event...
没有男人跟酒的社交聚会 那真的是太稀奇了 ...where there's no men and no booze? That's shocking.
我不在乎 只要我妈能来就行了 Well, I don't care. As long as my mom's here.
- 天啊 你妈 - 什么 我妈不会来吗 - Oh, my God. Your mother. - What, my mom's not gonna be here?
说不定我们忘了邀请她 Well, given that we forgot to invite her...
反而能让她松口气 ...it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
不是我的错 菲比负责发请帖的 Well, it wasn't my fault. Phoebe was in charge of the invitations.
我没有妈妈 所以我常忘了… Well, I don't have a mother. So often I forget other people...
得了吧 Oh, give it a rest.
我妈妈不来参加宝宝的欢迎会 So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?
对 No.
我妈也不会来 Neither is mine.
我们会处理的 You know what? Don't worry.
我们会打电话给她 你先回家做准备 Okay? We'll take care of it. We'll call her. You go home and get ready.
确定她一定会来 这很重要 她是我妈 Please make sure she comes. It's really important to me. It's my mom.
- 我知道 她电话号码几号 - 我不知道 - I know. What's her number? - I don't know.
你去吧 我记在我的电话簿里了 Go. I have it in my book. Go.
如果你负责寄请帖 为什么是我打电话给她 Wait a minute. If you're in charge of invitations, why am I calling her?
喂 葛林太太 嗨 我是摩妮卡·盖勒 Hello, Mrs. Green. Hi, uh, it's Monica Geller.
- 哈罗 摩妮卡 - 嗨 - Oh, hello, Monica. - Hi.
这是紧急通知 我们打算在今天… Um, I know this is last-minute, but we've decided to throw an impromptu...
- 帮瑞秋的宝宝办欢迎会 - 我的女儿们已经告诉我了… -...baby shower for Rachel today. - I know. My daughters told me about it...
她们在一个月前就接到欢迎会的请帖 ...when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
- 好吧 我很抱歉 - 为什么呢 亲爱的 - Okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. - For what, dear?
为了没有邀请我 还是你说谎骗我呢 For not inviting me, or for lying about it?
天啊 我的屁股在流汗 Oh, my God. My ass is sweating.
拜托 你能来吗 欢迎会四点开始 Please, please, can you come? It's today at 4.
- 好吧 四点见 - 谢谢 - Well, all right. I'll see you at 4. - Thank you.
- 不是三点开始吗 - 混蛋 - Isn't it at 3? - Son of a bitch.
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
乔伊 你要去打篮球吗 Hey, Joe. Wanna shoot some hoops?
我不能去 我在练习 我要参加新游戏节目主持人的试镜 No, I can't go, I'm practicing. I got an audition to be the host of a game show.
- 酷啊 - 太棒了 - Cool. - Great.
如果我能当上主持人 白天我是德瑞克·拉莫瑞医生 Yeah, and if I get it, by day, I'll be Dr. Drake Ramoray.
但晚上我是乔伊·崔比亚尼 But by night, I'll be Joey Tribbiani.
你非常适合这份工作 节目名称跟你的名字一样 You'll be perfect for this. That's already your name.
再过几小时就要试镜 我搞不懂这个游戏 The audition's in a couple hours, and I don't even understand the game.
你需要帮忙吗 Do you want some help?
真的吗 那真的太棒了 你们可以当参赛者 Oh, really? That'd be great. Hey, you guys can be the contestants.
我们可以下次再去让国中女生赢球 Okay, I guess we can lose to junior-high girls some other time.
- 好吧 我们来玩晕头转向 - 晕头转向 - All right. Let's play Bamboozled. - Bamboozled?
对 名字很酷吧 Isn't that a cool name?
- 对 - 不对 - Yeah. - No.
好吧 第一位参赛者是罗斯·盖勒 All right. Uh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller.
自我介绍一下吧 罗斯 Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself, Ross?
我是古生物学家 我住在纽约 Well, uh, I'm a paleontologist. Um, I live in New York.
我有个儿子叫做班 嗨 班 还有… I have a son, Ben. Uh, hi, Ben. And, uh...
我叫你自我介绍一下 罗斯 你呢 钱德 I said a little bit, Ross. Now, how about you, Chandler?
我是个猎头专家 我为叛变的第三世界国家… Well, Joey, I'm a headhunter. I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists...
寻找失业的苏联科学家 嗨 拉斯普廷 ...with rogue Third World nations. Hi, Rasputin.
太棒了 我们开始吧 钱德 你先 Excellent. Let's play Bamboozled. Chandler, you'll go first.
- 哥伦比亚的首都在哪里 - 波哥大 - What is the capital of Colombia? - Bogote.
是波格大 但很接近了 It's Bogoda, but close enough.
可以把机会让给罗斯 或挑魔法机会牌 Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango Card.
- 魔法机会牌可以做什么 - 我早该知道的 - What does a Wicked Wango Card do? - I should know that.
让我看看 请等一下… Let's see. Just one moment, please, um...
好了 魔法机会牌能决定你要向上或是向下 Here we are. A Wicked Wango Card determines whether you go higher or lower.
什么东西向上或是向下 Higher or lower than what?
- 这真的是太丢脸了 - 你能相信这有多烂吗 - This is embarrassing. - Can you believe how lame this is?
抱歉 我想参赛者不该交谈 I'm sorry. I don't believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
我叫脱衣舞男五点要到 可以吗 Oh, I told the stripper to be here at 5. That's good, right?
你请脱衣舞男来宝宝欢迎会 那太不得体了 You ordered a stripper for the shower? That is totally inappropriate.
为什么 他会打扮成宝宝的样子 Why? He's gonna be dressed as a baby.
嗨 葛林太太 我很高兴你赶来了 Oh, hi, Mrs. Green. I'm so glad you could make it.
谢谢你 我们很抱歉 Yes, thank you so much. And again, we're so sorry.
我们真的很过意不去 We could not feel worse about it.
试试看吧 Try.
我女儿在那边 There's my little girl.
- 她还在生气 - 对 我知道 - She's still mad. - Yeah, I know.
那不是很棒吗 少了一个人跟你咬耳朵 Isn't it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
菲比 珊卓拉也在生你的气 你不会感到困扰吗 Phoebe, Sandra's mad at you too. It doesn't bother you?
我们道了两次歉 我真的没办法了 Look, we've apologized twice. I can't do any more than that.
我知道你讨厌别人生你的气… I know you hate it when people are mad at you...
但你得去接受 ...but, you know, you just have to be okay with it.
好吧 我办得到 Okay. I can do that. Heh.
- 我得去帮我的屁股擦痱子粉 - 喔 - I gotta go powder my ass. - Oh.
看看你的脸 你跟念高中时还是一样 Look at that face. Just like when you were in high school.
要不是我很了解你 我会以为你是个有麻烦的啦啦队员 If I didn't know better, I'd say you were a cheerleader in trouble.
- 来吧 我们去喝点茶 - 好吧 - Come on, let's get some tea. - Okay.
天啊 你看你 只剩三星期了 Ooh, my. Look at that. Only three weeks to go.
你挑好奶妈了吗 Now, have you picked your nanny yet?
如果请管家兼职 I don't want you to just use your housekeeper...
她会分心的 ...because it'll just split her focus.
事实上我不请奶妈 我也没有管家 Oh. Actually, I'm not gonna use a nanny. And, uh, I don't even have a housekeeper.
你好像山顶洞人 It's like you're a cave person.
你得请个奶妈 Rachel, you must get a nanny.
你不知道带孩子有多累 You don't know how overwhelming this is gonna be.
你小时候我雇用了K太太 When you were a baby, I had full-time help. I had Mrs. K.
K太太 对 她人真的很好 她教我西班牙文 Mrs. K. Oh, yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish.
我想我还记得一点 I actually think I remember some of it:
- 真是个好人 - 是啊 - Such a sweet woman. - Yeah.
不管她多很棒 我出不起那笔钱 Well, however great she was, I just can't afford that.
- 瑞秋 - 什么 - Oh, Rachel. - What?
我想到一个好点子 我要搬过去跟你们住 I just had the greatest idea. I'm gonna come live with you.
什么 What? What?
很高兴我能帮我女儿这个忙 Oh, I'm so happy I'm gonna do this for my little girl.
看看你 你感动得都快哭了 Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
没错 我是快哭了 Yes, yes, I do.
罗斯 现在是你领先 All right, Ross, you're in the lead.
你要再回答一题 或转处罚轮 Would you like to take another question, or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
今天我转轮子的运气不太好 乔伊 The Wheel has not been my friend tonight, Joey. Uh...
我要再回答一题 I'll take another question.
好吧 这题很难 深呼吸 Okay. This is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
没关系 我准备好了 It's okay. I'm ready.
你得真的深呼吸再回答问题 No, dude, you gotta hold your breath till you're ready to answer the question.
- 这是游戏的一部分 - 这太可笑了 他没办法深呼… -It's part of the game. - This is ridiculous. He's not gonna hold...
好吧 如果你害怕恐惧的感觉 那该怎么说 惧… Okay. What do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia? Triska...
天啊 那个字真长 惧… Holy cow. That's a big word. Tris...
看看这个 这该怎么念 Seriously, look at this thing, Chandler. How do you say that?
- 让我看看 - 就是这个字 - Let me see that. - This one right here.
- 惧13症 - 害怕树上 - Triskaidekaphobia. - Fear of Triscuits.
- 不 是害怕13 - 害怕树上 - No. No. Fear of the number 13. - Fear of Triscuits?
这有可能 它们真的都尖尖的 It's possible. They have really sharp edges.
钱德 轮到你了 All right, Chandler, you're up.
我要用天使通行证换免费的机会 Wait a minute. I believe I'm entitled to use my Angel Pass for a free turn.
- 这个游戏真的很不合逻辑 - 你很生气是因为你输了 - This game makes no sense. - You're just upset because you're losing.
少来了 罗斯 我想我们都是失败者 Oh, come on, Ross. I think we're all losers here.
钱德 你可以选转轮子 或选张搜索牌 All right. Chandler, you can either spin the Wheel or pick a Google Card.
让我想想 我不在乎 Let me think, let me think. Oh, uh, I don't care.
你非选不可 宾先生 You must choose, Mr. Bing.
- 那还是没有差别 - 快选吧 混蛋 - Either. It makes no difference. - Choose, you jackass.
- 我要抽卡片 - 你选到了给我卡 - I'll take a card. - Okay, you picked the Gimme Card.
- 你拿到罗斯所有的分数 - 什么 - You get all of Ross' points. - What?
这个游戏开始好玩起来了 This game is kind of fun.
你不觉得你拿到我的分数太疯狂了… You don't think it's a little crazy that you get all my points...?
参赛者不该交谈的 I don't think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
- 你为什么要邀请我妈来 - 什么 - Why did you invite my mother? - What?
她要搬过来跟我和罗斯住 以便帮忙照顾宝宝 She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
- 多久 - 八星期 - For how long? - Eight weeks.
我爱我妈 但是天啊 跟她一起吃午餐太久就是种折磨 I mean, I love my mother, but, my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
如果她想跟我住 我会觉得很光荣 I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
她听不到 She can't hear you.
我该怎么办 You guys, come on. What am I gonna do?
如果不希望她搬过去 你该直说的 If you don't want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
你说的对 我就快生了 You're right. You're right. I'm about to have a baby.
我可以说我不希望她睡在沙发上 I can tell my mother that I don't want her to be sleeping on my couch.
她会跟我一起睡在床上 绝不能让那种事发生 Oh, my God. She's gonna wanna sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen.
没错 That's right. That is right.
告诉她 你不希望她搬过去跟你们住 You go over there and tell her you do not want her to live with you.
- 别让她拒绝你 - 好吧 - Do not take no for an answer. - Okay.
这真的太棒了 现在她会生瑞秋的气 This is great. Now she's gonna be mad at Rachel.
我要跑过去 当她的乖女儿讨好她 And I'm just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
我真的要很尊敬钱德了 I have new respect for Chandler.
好了 大伙们 该来拆礼物了 All right, everybody. It's time to open the presents.
对 瑞秋要拆的第一样礼物… Yes, and I think that the first gift that Rachel opens...
应该是外婆送的礼物 ...should be from the grandmother of the baby.
因为你是这里最重要的人 也是全世界最重要的 Because you're the most important person in this room. And in the world.
我没有准备礼物 因为我在最后一分钟才被邀请 Well, um, I don't have a gift because I wasn't invited until the last minute.
但非常谢谢你 亲爱的 让大家都注意到这一点 But thank you so much, dear, for bringing that to everybody's attention.
你们这些不重要的人呢 来拆你们的礼物吧 How about you less important people? Let's open your presents.
- 你没准备礼物也没关系 - 但我也算是送了你一样礼物 - Mom, it's okay that you didn't get a gift. - Well, I kind of did.
- 我要跟你同住八个星期 - 是啊 - Me. Eight weeks of me. - Yeah.
好吧 妈妈 事实上我可以自己照顾宝宝 Okay. See, Mom, the truth is, I can do this on my own.
我知道你会是个好妈妈 Sweetheart, I know you're gonna be a terrific mom.
但一开始你需要帮忙 I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
我知道我在做什么 我应付得来 But, Mom, I really know what I'm doing. I can handle this.
真的吗 还记得亮亮吗 Really? Remember Twinkles?
他是只仓鼠 我不会拿吸尘器吸我的宝宝 He was a hamster. I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby.
快来吧 瑞秋 拆礼物的时间到了 Okay, come on, Rach. It's present time.
你是这个派对的主角 You know, you're the glue holding this whole party together.
现在这个派对也快毁了 It's kind of falling apart here.
- 你看 - 哇 - Ooh, look. - Wow.
这是你同事送的 This is from your friends at work.
天啊 哇 我知道这是什么 Ooh, my gosh. Oh, wow. Oh, I know what this is.
等一下 Wait a minute.
不可能 That can't be right.
这是宝宝的啤酒机吗 Is that a beer bong for a baby?
女儿 那是挤奶器 Darling, that's a breast pump.
我说过我不猜了吗 好吧 谢谢 Heh. Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that.
哇 这是什么 Ooh, wow. What's this?
- 是尿布精灵 - 用来放干净尿布的 - It's a Diaper Genie. - Oh, it dispenses clean diapers.
那是放脏尿布的 No, it's where you put dirty ones.
好 为什么不直接把尿布丢在外面的垃圾桶 Well, that's gross. Why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a Dumpster?
- 你每天要丢十次吗 - 什么 宝宝一天可以拉十次 - You're gonna do that 10 times a day? - What, it goes 10 times a day?
我们是喂她印度食物吗 What are we feeding this baby, Indian food?
不 宝宝都是那样的 No, dear. That's what babies do.
瑞秋 听你妈妈的话 她非常聪明 Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
你去倒垃圾桶时 Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby
宝宝要放在哪里 while you trot out to the garbage?
我不知道 把她放在尿布台上 I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table?
- 什么 我做了什么 - 你不能丢下宝宝一个人 - What? What did I do? What did I do? - You can't leave a baby alone.
我当然知道 Of course, I know that.
千万不能丢下宝宝一个人 I mean, of course you never leave a baby alone. Ha, ha.
它会…那不安全 I mean, it would... She wouldn't be safe.
她跟我这个菜鸟妈妈在一起 也不会安全 You know, not as safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Ha, ha.
现在拆礼物太刺激了 Okay, you know what? Opening the presents is a little overwhelming right now.
我待会儿再把它们全部拆开 So I think, um, I'm just gonna maybe open them all a little bit later.
谢谢你们赶来 还送了礼物… But thank you all for coming, and for these beautiful gifts...
- 这个篮子很漂亮 - 这是摇篮 -...and this basket is beautiful. - It's actually a bassinet.
好吧 妈妈 别离开我 Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.
你会在哪部电影听到这句台词 In what John Huston film would you hear this line:
"我们不需要臭警徽" "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges."
- "碧血金沙" - 答对了 - Treasure of the Sierra Madre. - Correct.
倒念还能加分 There's a possible Backwards Bonus.
- 沙金血碧 - 对 - Madre Sierra the of Treasure. - Yes.
我要爬上机会梯 到金泥屋去 I'd like to go up the Ladder of Chance to the Golden Mud Hut, please.
- 聪明的选择 几阶 - 六阶 - Wise choice. How many rungs? - Six.
- 那个声音只代表一个意思 - 饥饿的猴子 - That noise can only mean one thing. - Hungry Monkey.
- 我要魔法机会牌 - 这是声音题 - I'd like a Wicked Wango Card. - Okay. It's an audio question.
说出这出电视剧的主题曲 Name this television theme song:
天啊 我知道 让我想一想 Oh. Oh, my God. Okay, I know this. Give me a second.
- 去跟时间乌龟说吧 - 闭嘴 - Tell it to the Time Turtle. - Shut up.
- "太空仙女恋" - 答对了 你再度领先 - I Dream of Jeannie. - Yes. Yes, you're back in the lead.
我要转轮子 Uh, I'd like to spin the Wheel.
快点 Oh, come on.
超级快速回合 Uh, uh, Super Speedy Speed Round.
- 跳跃有加分吗 - 当然 - Is there a Hopping Bonus? - Of course.
- 谁发明了双焦点透镜 - 本·富兰克林 - Who invented bifocals? - Ben Franklin.
答对了 哪个君王统治英国最久 Correct. Which monarch has ruled Great Britain the longest?
- 维多莉亚女王 - 又答对了 - Queen Victoria. - Correct again.
你忘了换题时要换腿跳 跳跃动作没加分 But you forgot to switch legs between questions. So no Hopping Bonus.
- 每次都这样 - 对 - Oh! Every time. - Yeah.
- 对 现在轮到钱德了 - 我要搜索卡 - Now over to Chandler. - I'd like a Google Card.
- 你确定 - 确定 不 搜索卡 - Are you sure? - Yes. No. Google.
天啊 恭喜你 罗斯 因为钱德… Oh, my God. Congratulations, Ross. Because, Chandler...
- 你已经出局了 - 不 -...you've been Bamboozled. - No!
- 太好了 - 这是我玩过最棒的游戏 - Yes! - This is the best game ever!
只要我有需要 你就会留下来 So, um, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
- 当然 - 我发誓我不是白痴 - Of course I am. - Mom, I swear I'm not an idiot.
我看了一堆怀孕跟生产的书 I read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth.
我没有看如何带宝宝的书 But I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes.
宝宝出生后… And, guess what, the baby's coming...
我不知道我该怎么办 我可以吐在尿布精灵里吗 ...and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?
甜心 你会没事的 Oh, sweetie, you're gonna be fine.
- 你要去哪里 - 我得上洗手间 - Wait, where you going? - I'm going to the bathroom.
别担心 一切都会没事的 Now, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay.
会没事的 It is gonna be okay.
值得一试 Worth a shot.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
你干嘛满脸通红 全身是汗 Why are you all red and sweaty?
我刚刚干掉钱德了 I just Bamboozled Chandler.
我没有对他不轨 Which is not a sexual thing.
- 欢迎会这么快就结束了 - 你没来才这么说 - Well, that was a quick shower. - Not if you were here.
看来我们收到不少好礼物 Wow, looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
没错 我妈送给我们最棒的礼物 We did. But my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
培乐多理发师工具组 A Play-Doh Barbershop?
不 她要搬过来跟我们住八星期 No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks.
什么 What?
对 她要帮我们照顾宝宝 Yes. She's gonna help us take care of the baby. Woo-hoo.
你不是说真的吧 You're not serious.
她是个好人 I mean, she's a very nice woman...
但我们无法忍受她八个星期 ...but there's no way we can take eight weeks of her.
- 她会把我们逼疯… - 嗨 罗斯 - She'll drive us totally crazy... - Hi, Ross.
嘿 室友 Hey, roomie.
乔伊 我是雷 本节目的制作人 Hey, Joey, hi, I'm Ray. I'm the producer of the show.
很荣幸能见到你 雷 It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.
他们是唐肯跟艾玲 And this is Duncan and Erin. They're gonna help out with the audition.
他们会帮你试镜 So let's get the camera rolling.
- 对 雷 - 你准备好了就开始 - Righty-0, Ray. - Whenever you're ready.
哈罗 我是乔伊·崔比亚尼 我们来玩晕头转向吧 Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani. Let's play Bamboozled.
艾玲 第一个问题 在曲棍球史上 谁被称为是“伟人” Erin, you get the first question. In hockey, who is known as "The Great One"?
- 葛瑞·斯基 - 答对了 - Wayne Gretzky. - Correct.
你要挑魔法机会卡或转轮子 Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango Card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
你的经纪人没有给你重编的游戏规则吗 Uh, Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules?
我们把那些东西都删掉了 没有轮子或机会卡 We've eliminated all that. No wheel. No cards.
为什么 What? Why?
那太复杂了 市场研究显示观众没办法了解 Well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it.
复杂 转轮子上机会梯… What's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance...
经过金泥屋 穿越彩虹环找金猴 ...past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey.
拉它的尾巴 就能到天堂池 You yank his tail, and boom, you're in Paradise Pond.
对 那些都删掉了 Yeah. All that's gone.
现在这只是个简单的问答游戏 Um, it's basically just a simple question-and-answer game now.
那有什么好玩的呢 Well, what's fun about that?
你要我主持 You expect me to be the host of a boring game...
观众回答问题的无聊游戏 ...that's just people standing around answering questions?
会有比基尼女郎拿得分板 Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores.
我们来玩晕头转向吧 Let's play Bamboozled.
你买的那些恐龙小玩意… And all those dinosaur knickknacks you have...
罗斯 它们或许比较适合放在车库里 ...Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
- 我们没有车库 - 我说车库吗 我是说垃圾桶 - Well, we don't have a garage. - Did I say garage? I meant garbage.
你知道吗 或许你不一定要跟我们住在一起 You know what, Mrs. Green? Maybe it's not absolutely vital that you live with us.
- 瑞秋需要人帮忙带孩子 - 真的 我什么都不会 - Well, Rachel needs help with the baby. - I do. I really do. I don't know anything.
我相信那不是真的 I'm sure that's not true.
是吗 菲比 摩妮卡 我会带孩子吗 Oh, no? Pheebs, Monica, do I know anything about babies?
- 不 完全不懂 - 那真的很可怕 - Nope. Not a thing. - Mm-mm. It's frightening.
就算她不会 但是我会 Well, um, you know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do.
我有个儿子 他妈妈跟我没有住在一起 I have a son. His mother and I didn't live together.
他跟我一起住时 我都是自己照顾他 Whenever he was with me, I took care of him all the time, by myself.
- 没错 你还有一个孩子 - 对 - That's true. You do have another child. - Yeah.
跟另一个女人生的 With another woman.
你没有自制力吗 罗斯 Have you no control, Ross?
那是另一个问题 That's a different issue.
重点是宝宝出生后 我会帮忙喂她… Um, the point is, when the baby comes, I will be there to feed her...
帮她洗澡 换尿布 ...and bathe her and change her.
我想要照顾她 And more than that, I want to do all those things.
你们不需要我搬过去 Well, then you don't need me to live with you.
对 Yes!
对 我们会想念你的 Yes. You're gonna be so missed.
你会是个好爸爸 You're gonna be a great father.
你会是个好外婆 Well, you're gonna be a wonderful grandma.
哈罗 我还是不知道我该做什么 Hello? I still don't know what the hell I'm doing.
新手妈妈都会有那种感觉 Come on, every first-time mother feels that way.
你可以慢慢学 你会的 你刚到纽约来时… You're gonna pick it up. Hey, you will. Look, when you first came to the city...
你是个被宠坏的无助小女孩 ...you were this spoiled, helpless little girl...
只会用爸爸的信用卡 ...who still used Daddy's credit cards, remember?
我希望你真的有话要告诉我 I hope you're going somewhere with this.
看看你 你现在是个大主管 Look at you. You're this big executive.
你很能干 证明了自己的能力 You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.
我相信 你会是个好妈妈 I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother.
- 真的吗 - 没错 - Really? - I'm telling you.
谢谢 Thank you.
好吧 我得走了 All right, you two. I'm gonna get going.
不 甜心 别送了 - Oh. - Oh, no, sweetheart, you stay put.
我自己出去 就当我没来过这里 我差点真的来不了 I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here. Which I almost wasn't.
你真的太幽默了 我该怎么办 You're just so funny. You're so funny. What do I do?
什么也不用做 你跟她道歉很多次 Nothing. You have apologized to her like a million times.
她完全无视于你的道歉 And she's been nothing but terrible to you.
你让她女儿办了 And don't forget, you just threw her daughter...
一个可爱 不过有点无聊的欢迎会 ...a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower.
- 她甚至没有谢谢你 - 你知道吗 你说的对 - And she hasn't even thanked you for it. - You know what? You're right.
如果真的有话要说 也该是训她 Yeah, I mean, if you wanna say anything to her, I'd tell her off.
真的吗 Really?
好吧 我会的 Okay, I will.
葛林太太 Mrs. Green?
不跟主人道别就离开派对是很无礼的 It is rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host.
如果有人跟你道歉 And also, when someone apologizes to you...
有良心的人都会接受 ...the decent thing to do is to accept it.
我不是故意要那么做的 Because what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose.
但你对我的态度太可耻了 But what you're doing to me now is plain spiteful.
- 可耻 - 没错 - Spiteful? - That's right.
你该好好去照镜子 小姑娘 Maybe it's time you took a good, hard look in the mirror, young lady.
老太婆 Old lady.
女士 Lady.
别说了 别说了 别说了 Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.
只要你准备好跟我道歉 我会原谅你 再见 So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day.
我的脚没有感觉 I can't feel my legs.
你真的太棒了 我非常以你为荣 You were fantastic. I'm so proud of you.
- 是吗 我也以自己为荣 - 应该的 - Yeah? I'm proud of me too. - You should be.
- 你能帮我拿杯饮料吗 - 没问题 - Could you get me something to drink? - You got it.
葛林太太 我真的很抱歉 对不起 如果你… Mrs. Green? Okay, I'm really sorry. I apologize. If you just... Aah!
好吧 我咬到舌头了 Okay. I bit my tongue.
但我真的很抱歉 But I'm still really sorry.
- 好 我准备好了 - 你确定 - Okay, I'm ready. - You sure?
我看过书 把一切都弄清楚了 Yes. I've done my studying, and I really know my stuff.
好吧 All right, then.
瑞秋·葛林 我们来玩晕头转向 Rachel Green, let's play Bamboozled.
你该如何测试宝宝洗澡水的温度 How do you test the temperature of the baby's bathwater?
- 用手肘去试 - 非常好 - Uh, put your elbow in it. - Excellent.
如何让宝宝小睡一下 How do you put a baby down for a nap?
喂饱她 换干尿布 趴睡 被子盖紧 Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
答对了 That's correct.
这题是声音题 宝宝发出这种声音时你该怎么办 This is an audio question. What do you do when a baby makes this sound:
检查她是尿湿或饿了 帮她拍背 Uh, check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it.
太棒了 你要再回答一题或抽魔法机会牌 Excellent. Now, do you want another question or a Wicked Wango Card?
- 我要抽牌 - 对不起 - A card. A card. I pick a card. - Oh, I'm sorry.
你出局了 你会是个烂妈妈 You've been Bamboozled. You're gonna be a terrible mother.
我忽略我们这样做的目的了 I've lost sight of why we're doing this.