某人昨晚过得很开心啊 Someone had a good night.
你觉得这些人都有过做爱的经历吗 Do you think all of these people have had sex?
如果有 他们不该更高兴吗 And if so, shouldn't they be more happy?
也许他们有段时间没体验了 Maybe their experiences weren't as recent as yours.
我想和所有人做爱 I think about sex with everyone.
但还是最想和卡莉 But mostly with Carly.
我们两个很契合 She and I are very compatible.
很好 肖恩 但人事部可能不会允许 That's great, Shaun, but HR might not approve.
因为我想着做爱吗 About me thinking of sex?
不 是在公开场合谈论你想做爱 No, about saying you're thinking about sex.
别笑了 And stop it.
笑着和一位垂死的人交流可不好 Smiling while talking to a dying man is not cool.
布莱兹医生建议我们给你介绍 Dr. Blaize recommended we speak to you
永久性人工血管 about a permanent port.
它可以简化你的化疗流程 It would simplify your chemo sessions.
不需要每次都找静脉 No more hunting for a vein every time.
可以缓解恶心症状吗 Anything to help with the nausea?
那是正常的副作用 It's a normal side effect.
可以缓解精疲力尽的症状吗 Anything you can do for the exhaustion?
这可以... Anything...
让我的肌肉不疼吗 so that my muscles don't ache?
但你们可以让我不被针扎 But you can keep me from being stuck by a needle.
他们只是想帮你 They're just trying to help.
我知道 I know.
所有的医生都想帮我 All the doctors are trying to help.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
谢谢 Thank you.
但我不需要人工血管 But I-I don't need the port.
我也不需要继续化疗了 And I don't need any more chemo.
你当然需要 Of course you do.
这能让你活得更久 It's going to give you more time.
亲爱的 我现在糟透了 Honey, I'm miserable.
脑海绵状畸形 Cerebral cavernous malformations.
会导致出血 血栓 癫痫和肌无力 Leads to bleeding, clots, seizures, muscle weakness,
甚至瘫痪 even paralysis.
你大脑中有好几团 You have clusters of them.
并且病情还在恶化 And they're getting worse.
霍普金斯的医生说我只有一年生命 The woman at Hopkins gave me a year.
麻省综合病院说两年 Mass General, two years.
那你觉得我会说三年吗 So, what, you figured I'd give you three?
有新疗法吗 Some new treatment?
你知道如何治疗 卡罗琳 叶切除术 You know the treatment, Caroline -- a lobectomy.
真是有意思 外科医生这么轻松地建议 I love the way surgeons blithely suggest
在我大脑皮层上切一刀 cutting through my cerebral cortex
移除我一部分的大脑 to remove part of my brain.
为什么不一刀切断我绘画的能力 Why not just take an egg slicer to my ability to paint?
的确有可能导致 Yes, it will likely lead to a curtailment
你的创造力下降 of your ability to be creative,
但你的其他脑功能不会受损 but all of your other faculties will remain intact.
我自己近来的预后情况非常不佳 I had a severe prognosis of my own recently.
手术 化疗 放疗 一切治疗手段 Surgery, chemo, radiation, the works.
我最大的恐惧不是治不好了 My greatest fear wasn't at the edges of the spectrum.
不是生死 It wasn't life or death.
我最大的恐惧 My greatest fear
是苟活着 was survival as something lesser.
那你就明白了 Then you know.
然后我受到了某种启示 And then I had a revelation of sorts.
我是谁 我如何看待自己 Who I am, how I think of myself
并不是由我的外科手术技术而决定的 isn't defined by my skill as a surgeon.
我给你看诊只是出于好心 Uh, I'm seeing you as a courtesy.
我已经不行医了 I don't do this anymore.
实话告诉你 这样也挺好 And guess what? I'm fine.
我甚至更快乐了 I'm happier.
你和家人共度的时间 You could have 20, 30 more years
又多了二三十年 with your family.
平衡的生活不一定是降低质量的生活 A balanced life isn't necessarily a lesser life.
我不同意 I disagree.
我赌二十块 未来二十四小时内 20 bucks says Shaun mentions sex
肖恩一定会在病人面前提做爱 in front of a patient in the next 24 hours.
他很兴奋 He's excited.
当打开新世界大门时你肯定也曾是这样 I'm sure you were when a new world opened up.
但他还不至于这样 But he knows better.
-二十块 -不 - 20 bucks. - No.
摩根 Morgan.
我还想着能见到你呢 Oh, I was hoping I'd see you.
你好 Hello.
太好了 Perfect.
我还在想这附近哪里可以吃午饭呢 I was just wondering where to get lunch around here.
什么都行 只要是当地美食就行 Any genre, as long as it's locally sourced.
这是你朋友吗 Is this a friend?
我是卡罗琳·雷兹尼克 I'm Caroline Reznick.
这是我妈妈 My mother.
你在这里做什么 What are you doing here?
你的眼睛真美 What beautiful eyes.
我希望 I hope...
有人 s-someone...
画 p-paint...
妈 Mom!
妈 妈 Mom? Mom.
妈 你能听到我说话吗 Mom, can you hear me?
蓝色警报 需要救生车 Code blue. We need a crash cart.
良 医
第三季 第十三集
我来接你吃「午饭」 I've come to take you to lunch.
这才十一点一刻 It's only 11:15.
摩根告诉我 M-Morgan told me
在工作时谈论做爱可能会被认为 that it might be considered unprofessional
是不专业的 to discuss sex on the job.
所以当你说「午饭」的时候 So, when you say "Lunch"...
我是指做爱 It's sex.
我得待在这工作 I am expected to be here working.
病理化验室的医生 People in the Pathology Lab
每班有两个十五分钟的休息 take two 15-minute breaks on their shift.
如果把休息时间加起来 If they were combined into one
再搭那辆十一点二十五分从这出发 and we used the bus that stops out front at 11:25,
十二点十五分回来的巴士 with one returning at 12:15,
再占用一点你的午饭时间 and we borrowed some of your lunch hour --
你吃三明治只需要22分钟 you only require 22 minutes to eat a sandwich --
那我们就会有 there would be just enough time
足够的时间往返你的公寓 to get to your apartment and back.
你注意到你分配给「午饭」的时间 Have you noticed the time you've allotted for "Lunch"
很短了吗 is fairly short?
足够长了 Long enough.
对你来说够了 但对我来说不够 Long enough for you, not for me.
这是你的第一次 You've only had sex once in your life.
没人指望你好得能得奖 No one expects you to win awards,
共同感受那一刻也是很有爱的 and it was lovely sharing the moment.
你是在暗示我的表现有待提高吗 Are you implying the sex could be improved on?
是的 Yes.
那困扰到你了吗 Does that bother you?
没有 No.
我并不反对改善性爱体验 I have no objection to improving sex.
但我以为已经很好了 Although, I thought it was already excellent.
我会改善的 I'll work on it.
找到出血点 Found the source of the bleed.
抽吸并清理凝块腔 Suctioning and evacuating the clot cavity.
到处都是海绵状血管畸形 The Cav Mals are everywhere.
她随时可能会大出血 She could have a massive bleed at any time.
我以为摩根的父母是医生 I thought Morgan's parents were doctors.
-我也听说了 -为什么摩根让我们以为 - I heard that, too. - Why would Morgan let us think
等你们给我妈做完 Maybe you should save the speculation
开颅手术再来想这个问题吧 until your hands aren't in my mother's skull.
用内置麦克风 摩根 Use your inside voice, Morgan.
调小音量 Turn down the volume.
冲洗并清除棉球 Irrigate and remove the cottonoid.
她之前怎么不说她就是那个雷兹尼克家的 Why didn't she tell us she was one of those Reznicks?
卡罗琳·雷兹尼克 画家 Caroline Reznick, painter.
她的儿子是雕塑家 女儿是作曲家 Her son's a sculptor. Daughter's a composer.
不知道她还有个孩子 Didn't know she had another kid.
如果你们对艺术感兴趣就知道他们很有名 They're famous, if you're into the arts at all.
你陪米娅去美术馆了 Mia got you going to galleries?
是 我还挺喜欢的 Yeah, I'm kind of loving it.
我让卡莉失望了两次 I've failed Carly twice.
你忘了她的生日还是放她鸽子了 Did you forget her birthday or stand her up?
你是在说做爱吗 Are you talking about sex?
摩根说人事部不希望我用那个词 Morgan says H.R. would prefer I avoid that word.
先说清楚 你是在说她... Just to be clear, are you saying she...
你说她不... Are you saying she didn't --
没有「狂欢」 There was no parade.
我有感受到 There was a parade for me,
但卡莉没感受到 but there was no parade for Carly.
我想让她感受到「狂欢」 I want to give her a parade.
我会继续看资料的 I'll continue reading.
等等 肖恩 看资料是个好的开始 Wait, Shaun, reading's a great start,
但卡莉是个人 but Carly's a person.
你得和她沟通 问她喜欢什么 You need to communicate with her, ask her what she likes.
好的 我会列出一张详细的问题清单 Yes. I'll make an extensive list of questions.
不光只是问答 It's not just about questions and answers.
非语言交流在这方面也是很重要的 Nonverbal communication is pretty key in this area.
我不擅长非语言交流 I'm not good with nonverbal communication.
观察她的反应 Watch her reactions.
看看她怎么回应 See what Carly responds to.
你会搞清楚的 You'll figure this out.
雷兹尼克夫人 我是朴医生 Mrs. Reznick, I'm Dr. Park.
这是莫菲医生和布朗医生 This is Dr. Murphy, Dr. Browne.
你感觉如何 How are you feeling?
很好 Excellent.
很荣幸有三个外科医生 And flattered that three surgeons
来查看我的情况 are here to check on me.
他们很好奇 They're curious.
是什么样的怪物创造了我 About what monster created me.
我敢肯定不是这样的 I'm sure that's not true.
摩根 你很聪明 善良 而且绝对正常 Morgan, you're smart and nice and perfectly normal.
我不觉得她是这样的 I don't think she's all of those things.
你们是来检查她的生命体征 You guys here to take her vitals,
看她是否有任何衰退症状 check her for any deficits,
或者是来让她知道 and maybe let her know
她的情况会越来越糟甚至死掉吗 that she's just gonna keep getting worse and die?
你的女儿说得没错 雷兹尼克夫人 Your daughter is right, Mrs. Reznick.
-如果你不 -布朗医生 - If you don't - Dr. Browne, the daylilies
金针花和你的眼睛很配 go so well with your eyes.
请带走吧 Please take them.
这种花产自喜马拉雅山脉 This variety is from the Himalayas.
收下吧 Please.
我很感激你们 I really am grateful to you all.
我准备请其他人接手我的病例 I'm asking other people to take over my cases.
注意你的邮箱 你会看到我给你的那三个 Check your in-box, and you'll see the three I've given you.
在你的语言里 In your language, the word "Ask"
「请」肯定有不同的意思 must mean something different.
你是一个有爱心 有同情心的人 You're a caring, empathetic person,
还有我妈病了 and my mother is sick.
既然我们都坦诚相待了 As long as we're having a moment of honesty...
你为什么恨你的家人 ...why do you hate your family?
你跟我说你妈妈是心脏病专家 You told me your mother was a cardiologist.
不 是你自己说的我妈妈是心脏病专家 No, you told me my mother was a cardiologist.
我总不能什么都去纠正你吧 I can't correct all your mistakes.
那是你想要的母亲吗 Was that the mother you wanted to have?
心血管灌注科医生 给导管室打电话 Cardiac perfusionist, call the cath lab.
我曾经梦想我妈妈是个律师 I used to daydream my mother was a lawyer.
真奇怪 That's just weird.
我是奥利弗 I'm Oliver.
我有恶性周围神经鞘肿瘤 I have a malignant peripheral nerve sheath tumor,
所以我只能活六个月 so I've only got six months to live.
我是梅伦德斯医生 I'm Dr. Melendez.
你脚怎么了 What happened to your foot?
跳伞摔了 Skydiving.
第一次跳 First time.
他们有教我怎么滚 但显然没什么用 They coached me how to roll, but it didn't quite work out.
他租了一架飞机 He rented a plane.
一架小飞机 A small one.
所有舱位都满了 我不想等 All the classes were full. I did not want to wait.
你应该和我一起去 You should've come with me.
我怕高 I'm afraid of heights.
我也是 So was I.
现在不怕了 Not anymore.
没摔坏什么 Nothing's broken.
今晚冰敷一下 Ice it tonight.
尽量休息几天 Try to stay off it for a few days.
我只有十二小时 I'll give you 12 hours.
还很多事要做 所以没事我可以瘸着 Lots to do, so I might be okay with limping.
既然我在这儿 As long as I'm here,
我能接种热带病疫苗吗 can I get vaccinated for tropical diseases?
想搬到天气好的地方去 Thinking about moving somewhere
好好享受我剩下的六个月时光 the weather will be perfect for the next six months.
哥斯达黎加的旱季才开始 The dry season in Costa Rica is just beginning.
太好了 Excellent.
我一直想去哥斯达黎加 I've always wanted to see Costa Rica.
他们那儿有鬃毛吼猴 They have mantled howler monkeys
会在黎明和黄昏时发出吼叫声 that make this haunting call at dawn and dusk.
这样醒来肯定感觉很棒 Wouldn't that be great to wake up to?
奥利弗 Oliver...
跳伞不会带来快乐 skydiving doesn't bring happiness.
猴子的吼叫也不会 Neither do monkey howls.
你是想告诉一个将死之人不能做他想做的事吗 You gonna tell a dying guy he can't do what he wants to do?
不是的 No.
给我打针吧 Get me the shots.
住在这里的病人怎么了 What happened to the patient who was in here?
她自己出院了 She checked herself out.
我知道我得早起 I knew I had to be in early,
所以我尽量不吵醒你 so I tried not to wake you.
感激不尽 Appreciate it.
-我给你带了果冻甜甜圈和咖啡 -谢谢 - I've brought you a jelly doughnut and coffee... - Thank you.
庆祝昨晚的突破 ...to celebrate last night's breakthrough.
什么突破 What breakthrough was that?
昨晚 Last night.
你「狂欢」了 You had a parade.
在「午饭」时 During lunch.
你的声音可大了 You made a lot of noise.
声音相当大 呻吟 One fairly loud noise -- a moan.
是的 是的 Right, right.
你胳膊肘压我头发上了 You had your elbow on my hair.
我昨晚很开心 I had a great time last night,
而且我真的很感激 and I really appreciate
你为让我开心付出了很多努力 how much effort you put into my happiness.
但不是「狂欢」 But no parade.
并不是一定要「狂欢」的 Parades aren't always required.
我会继续努力的 I'll keep working on it.
卡西 留在香港 Cassie, stay in Hong Kong.
如果因为一点小医疗事故就错过你的 It would be ridiculous to miss the premiere of your symphony
交响乐首演就太荒谬了 because of a medical glitch.
我得挂了 你妹妹来了 再见 I have to go. Your sister's here. Bye.
你赶上早午餐了 You're in time for brunch.
我不知道你住哪儿 I didn't know where you were staying,
不知道你是否离城了 是否回家了 if you'd left town, if you'd gone home.
我终于联系上了你的新管家 I finally got your new housekeeper on the phone
好不容易让她相信我是你女儿 and convinced her I was your daughter.
但她说你未提起过我 She said you never mentioned me.
布兰卡很健忘 Oh, Blanca's very forgetful.
拉把椅子过来 Pull up a chair.
你兄弟去买三文鱼了 Your brother's out getting salmon.
-阿里尔来了 -他有好消息 - Ariel's here? - He got great news.
得了百万美元佣金 卖掉了商场里的一件铜器 Million-dollar commission -- a bronze piece on the mall.
我太激动了 I'm thrilled.
我们能聊聊你要死了的事吗 Can we talk about the fact that you're dying?
不能 No.
我今天关节不痛了 I'm having a good arthritis day.
为什么不让我开心一下呢 Why shouldn't I feel happy?
你真幸运没从我这儿遗传任何东西 You're so lucky you didn't inherit anything from me.
摩根 Morgan.
我还以为妈妈甩掉了医疗警察呢 I thought Mom ditched the medical police.
是呀 那些坏人想让她继续活着 Right, the bad guys trying to keep her alive.
我们都想让她改变主意 We've all tried to get her to change her mind,
但你知道她是什么样的人 but you know what she's like.
我用了点拉差辣椒酱 I'm using a little sriracha
刺激一下你们的味蕾 just to throttle your taste buds.
谢谢 Thank you.
我已经在发邮件和卡西商讨对策了 I've been strategizing with Cassie via e-mail,
试图找到一个说服妈妈的方法 trying to figure out a way to convince Mom --
你们俩就没人想到要告诉 Did it occur to either of you to mention any of this
我这个家里唯一的医生吗 to the only doctor in the family?
已经有很多医生在看了 Plenty of doctors already involved.
你也不觉得自己是家里一份子吧 And you barely consider yourself part of this family.
你排斥我 是我的错吗 You exclude me, and it's my fault?
摩根 高中时 孩子们都问 Morgan, in high school, kids kept asking
我父母 是不是间谍 about my parents, the spies.
我在乔治敦的朋友乔尔 And my friend Joel at Georgetown
说你告诉大家你父母在和平队工作 said you told people your parents were in the Peace Corps.
你是独生子女 And that you were an only child.
我就是厌倦了回答关于我知名妈妈的问题 I got tired of fielding questions about my famous mother.
-这不代表 -独生子女 - It doesn't mean -- - Only child.
你生气是因为我胡编乱造的家人里 You're offended that you weren't in the family
没有把你算上吗 I completely made up?
我厌倦了听别人说「你妈妈太有天赋了 I got tired of hearing "Your mother is so talented.
你哥哥是才华横溢的艺术家 How wonderful your brother's an artist.
卡西创作的音乐是天籁之声 How amazing Cassie writes music.
你是做什么的」 What do you do?"
妈妈 Mom!
拿条毛巾 Grab a towel.
不只要在动作上下功夫 It's not just about what you do physically.
还要设定情景 激发灵感 It's about setting a scene, offering inspiration.
我是说 你知道她喜欢什么电影吗 I mean, do you know what movies she likes
或者她觉得哪些演员比较性感 or what actors she thinks are sexy?
她喜欢「外星人」的电影 She likes the "Alien" movies.
还有别的吗 Something else?
她喜欢《古战场传奇》 She loves "Outlander."
这是个好的切入点 That is a good idea.
人他妈都去哪了 Where the hell is everybody?!
综合性局部癫痫 Complex partial seizure.
电动料理刀把手指切断了 Cut her finger off with an electric knife.
关节还在 但我们得给她做手术 Knuckle's still there, but we need to get her to an O.R.
除了外科医生谁都不许碰 No one touches that but the surgeon.
沾血的毛巾总会被扔掉 Bloody towels get thrown out all the time.
我不想搭上细胞坏死的时间去翻垃圾 I'm not dumpster diving while cells die.
环形缝合最后一步 The last of the circumferential sutures.
指尖的毛细血管重满情况良好 Good capillary refill in the fingertip.
如果这不是海绵状血管畸形引起的呢 What if this wasn't caused by the Cav Mals?
首先是出血 然后癫痫发作 First the bleeding, then the seizure --
非常典型的恶化症状 pretty typical progression.
也有可能是出血引起的癫痫 It's also possible the bleeding caused the seizure.
微量出血能引起胶质细胞增生 进而引发癫痫 Microbleeds can cause gliosis, and that can cause a seizure.
如果癫痫是由胶质细胞增生引起的 And if the seizure was caused by gliosis,
我们只需要移除那点坏死组织 we could simply remove that one bit of damaged tissue.
她还是晚期患者 但 She'd still be terminal, but --
肖恩是对的 但他错了 Shaun is right, but he's wrong.
小点声 小点声 小点声 Volume! Volume! Volume!
肖恩的主意可以治好癫痫 Shaun's idea could stop the seizures
让她在余生里可以继续画画 and let her keep painting for the time she has left.
这是她会同意的做法 That's something she'll agree to.
这也是为什么他又错了 Which is why he's wrong.
如果她的癫痫不再犯 If she stops having the seizures,
她就不会接受可以救她命的 there's no way she'll have the lobectomy
叶切除手术 that will save her life.
我们不会为了操纵病人选择做什么手术 We don't choose procedures in order to manipulate patients.
不 我们选择那些 No, we choose procedures
术后效果最好的手术 based on what will have the greatest benefit.
梅伦德斯医生 请允许我出去 Dr. Melendez, I'd like to excuse myself
跟病人的女儿聊聊 to speak with the patient's daughter.
请 Please.
我知道隐瞒一种治疗方案 I know not disclosing a treatment
是有违道德的 is borderline unethical,
但当病人有意忽略一种疗法时 but when there is a cure that the patient is ignoring --
你不想她死 You don't want her to die.
谢谢总结 Thanks for the summation.
但你考虑过可能有比那更重要的吗 But have you considered it might be more than that?
这个疗法 是有代价的 This cure, it doesn't come without a cost.
对你母亲 To your mother.
但是对你 But to you...
如果你母亲失去她的创作能力 ...if your mother loses her artistic ability,
你们的关系就会变 your relationship changes.
如果她失去了这项比你重要的能力 If she loses the thing she lords over you,
她或许会变得更善解人意 she -- maybe she'd be nicer.
你讨厌她看待你的方式 You hate the way she looks at you.
但那就是她 But that is who she is.
试试肖恩的方法吧 Let's try it Shaun's way.
很抱歉要通宵不睡 Sorry about this all-nighter,
但失眠 but sleeplessness
会增加癫痫的几率 will increase the odds of a seizure event.
失眠不好受 但只能这样了 Which isn't pleasant, but we need.
这个机器会告诉我们 All this equipment will tell us
到底是由海绵状血管畸形引起的 if it was caused by the Cav Mals
还是微量出血 or by a remote microbleed.
需要我打开电视吗 You want me to put on the TV?
我发现有适当刺激作用的节目 I find something suitably irritating.
不麻烦了 我会守在这 Don't bother. I'll be staying.
「海绵状血管畸形或许导致出血 "Cavernous malformations may leak blood,
进一步导致脑出血 癫痫 leading to brain hemorrhage, seizures,
失去意识 瘫痪的风险」 loss of sensation, risk of paralysis" --
如果你一定要读 If you have to do this,
不能找点《哈利波特》什么的来读吗 can't you find some - "Harry Potter" or something?
我们可以聊聊之后的事 We can look forward.
我们也可以回顾过去 Or we can look back.
你想谈谈自己当母亲当得有多差劲吗 Do you want to discuss what a lousy mother you were?
宝贝 我知道压力和愤怒 Baby, I know that stress and anger
会增加癫痫发作的可能 can increase the chance of a seizure,
而你又那么努力... and you're so sweet to try --
我们能按时间顺序说吗 Shall we go chronologically?
幼儿园第一天 你答应来接我 First day of preschool, when you promised to pick me up,
但你忘了 因为你在教阿里尔 but you forgot because you were showing Ariel
怎么用生赭画底色 how to underpaint with raw umber.
你穿了苏格兰裙吗 怎么样呢 You wore a kilt? How'd it go?
我们一口气看了六集《古战场传奇》 We binge-watched six episodes of "Outlander,"
她在沙发上睡着了 所以我来上班了 she fell asleep on the sofa, so I came back to work.
你好 我是奥利弗 Hi. I'm Oliver.
我只剩六个月的生命了 I have six months to live.
你好 莫菲医生 Hello, Dr. Murphy.
我是朴医生 I'm Dr. Park.
我出了个门 I went out.
开着一辆新的法拉利 In a new Ferrari.
但等我回到家 But when I got home,
我就觉得 头晕 I started to feel...dizzy,
胃不舒服 sick to my stomach.
晕了过去 撞伤了自己的头 Fainted and hit my head.
我觉得我可能是河豚中毒 I think I might have been poisoned by the fugu fish.
你明知道鱼有毒还要吃 You ate a fish you knew might kill you.
你取空了银行账户的钱 You're emptying the bank accounts.
都是我的退休金 反正我也不需要 Only my retirement savings, which I'm not gonna need.
你没有河豚中毒 You don't have fugu poisoning.
我知道是因为你还没有瘫痪或死亡 I know because you're not already paralyzed or dead.
我们会留你观察并做一些检查 We'll keep you for observation and run some tests.
要多久 Uh, how long?
我们在哥斯达黎加还订了个房间 We have a room booked in Costa Rica.
够了 Enough.
我不能辞了工作再搬到丛林里去住 I can't quit my job and move to the jungle.
你可以的 Actually, you can.
我不会留在这里的 I won't stay here.
你要离开我吗 You're gonna leave me?
我邀请了你和我一起去 I've invited you to come with me.
我想我们一起去看哥斯达黎加 I want us to see Costa Rica together.
你选择吼猴而放弃我吗 You're choosing the howler monkeys over me?
那就是我的排名吗 排在猴子后面吗 That's where I rank, behind the monkeys?
贝拉 我爱你 Bella, I love you.
我爱我们在一起的二十年 I've loved our 20 years together.
我想去看哥斯达黎加 I want to see Costa Rica.
我想你跟我一起去 I want you to come with me.
但我无论如何都要去 But I'm going either way.
去吧 Go.
我不想把剩下的时间和... I don't want to spend whatever time is left with...
现在的你一起过 whoever you are now.
我很幸福 I'm happy.
我以为是我让你幸福 I thought I made you happy.
再往前说 Jumping ahead.
我赢得地区科学竞赛的那天 The day I won the regional science fair,
打败了五个学校 beating five other schools,
包括来自阿尔斯通小学的书呆子 including those nerds from Alston Prep,
你知道你跟我说了什么吗 do you know what you said to me?
你说你很高兴我找到了依靠的东西 That you were so glad I had something to fall back on.
我知道你对我这个母亲的感觉 I'm aware of your feelings about me as a mother.
我知道我们的价值观不同 I'm aware that our values are different.
那不意味着我不爱你 It doesn't mean I don't love you.
我一直爱着你 I always have.
你没有创造力也没关系 It didn't matter that you weren't creative.
你真的认为我的工作没有创造力吗 You seriously don't think there's creativity in what I do?
我觉得这是科技人员自欺欺人的说法 I think that's something technical people tell themselves.
但这不是道德判断 But it's not a moral judgment.
这是运气 It's the luck of the draw.
我是个艺术家 你是个 I'm an artist. You're a...
辛劳的工作者 hard worker.
2014年8月12日 《泰晤士报》艺术版 August 12, 2014 -- Times art section.
我不想听 I don't want to hear it.
「卡罗琳·雷兹尼克在军械库的展出告诉了我们 "Caroline Reznick's showing at the Armory is a lesson
当一个曾举世瞩目的艺术家固步自封时 in what happens when a once-interesting artist
会发生什么」 sits too long on her laurels."
那个女人恨了我多年 That woman hated me for years.
她在等一个机会 She was waiting for an opportunity.
「错误的判断并不能解释 "Bad judgment doesn't begin to explain
究竟为什么这一笔一画都如此构想拙劣」 what went wrong with every stroke of this ill-conceived" --
说真的 你究竟能汇集多少贬义词汇 I mean, really, how many negative words can you pile together?
她都还没讲到 And she hasn't even gotten to that part
那幅你引以为豪的 about that "Modern Madonna" piece
「现代麦当娜」 that you were so proud of.
她是 记得她 她是怎么说的来着 What -- Remember what she -- what she called it?
-那是什么 -给我放下 - What was that? - Put that thing down!
对不起 不是神经胶质增生 I'm sorry. It's not gliosis.
我受的那些罪都白受了吗 I went through that for nothing?
妈妈 我们排除了一种可能性 Mom, we eliminated a possibility.
那不是毫无用处 That's not nothing.
我在这家医院度过的一天 It's a day I spent in this hospital
我本来都可以在家工作的 when I could've been home working.
我还有多久能出院 How soon can I be discharged?
你需要修养一天 You need to rest for a day.
然后我们就可以说再见了 And then we can say goodbye.
如果我只有六个月可活了 If I only had six months to live,
我还会继续做外科医生 I would not stop being a surgeon.
我就不做了 I would.
我要把水疗馆都试个遍 I'd move from spa to spa,
一边做按摩一边喝插着小伞的饮料 having massages and drinks with little umbrellas.
然后在四季酒店的顶层套房里开派对 Then I'd throw a party in the penthouse of the Four Seasons.
等大家离开后 我会走进大理石浴室 And after everybody left, I'd go into the marble bathroom
给自己来个没有痛苦的安乐死 and painlessly self-euthanize.
显然我还会给客房服务留下一大笔小费 I'd obviously leave a big tip for housekeeping.
你非常像你母亲 You're very like your mother.
我很少听别人这么说 That's not something I hear a lot.
但他说得对 Well, he's right.
你会像女王一样安排自己的死亡 You would reign like a queen over your own death,
坚持要绝对掌控在自己手里 insisting on absolute control.
我只是说有时你们俩 I just meant you each have a funny way
用双手捡东西的方式有点怪 of picking things up with both hands sometimes.
我觉得这在解刨学上是不正确的 I don't think this is anatomically correct.
立体定向激光消融[一种脑瘤治疗方法] Stereotactic laser ablation.
开发这种技术的人 You worked with one of the people
曾是你的同事 who developed the technique.
我们以前从没这样叫过 We never used to call it that.
我不喜欢那种叫法 I never liked that name.
而且 也没人用它治疗过 Also, it's never been used
脑海绵状血管畸形 in Cerebral Cavernous Malformations.
还没有 Not yet.
这样我们无需切开所有大脑纤维 It would allow us to target the malformations
或切掉我妈妈的一块脑组织就可以 without needing to slice all those cerebral fibers
直接定位到畸形位置 or remove a chunk of my mother's brain.
那每处畸形都必须 It would have to be applied to each malformation
精确地定位 with exact precision.
行 那就这么做 Okay, so do that.
你不行 You can't.
你可能会在一到两处畸形上出错 You're gonna make a mistake on one or two of them.
然后就会造成更严重的出血 癫痫 And then you got more bleeding, seizures,
让发炎的畸形严重到失控 you got inflamed malformations growing out of control.
你可以 You can.
就算我是神经外科医生 Even if I was still a neurosurgeon,
我也不会做 何况我已经不是了 which I'm not, I wouldn't.
你不能逃避真实的自己 You don't get to quit who you are.
你有多久没有把手放进 How long has it been since you had your hands inside
人类意识的发源地了 the source of what makes us human?
想想手术的过程 对每个步骤都了然于心 That flow, in surgery, knowing every move
那种游刃有余的感觉 and just feeling how right it is --
堪称人生巅峰 that's peak existence.
对不起 我不会做这个手术 I'm sorry. I'm not gonna do the surgery.
你是怕... Are you s--
你是害怕拿起手术刀吗 Are you scared to pick up a scalpel?
你做了几个月的化疗和放疗 You had months of chemo and radiation.
也许造成了一些损伤 Maybe it took its toll.
你连手术水准下降一成都无法忍受 E-even a 10% drop in performance would be unbearable.
何必还要去自取其辱 Why risk finding it out?
出去 Get out.
跳伞 Skydiving?
吃河豚 Fugu?
显然还有穿黄色西装 And apparently a yellow suit.
你觉得像他那样死期已定 Do you think a deadline like he has
会让你迫不及待地去寻找真我吗 burns you down to who you really are?
还是只会让你疯狂和绝望 Or does it just make you nuts and desperate?
为什么不能两者兼有 Why can't it be both?
好吧 Okay, um...
我只要有一所偏僻的小房子 a little house in the middle of nowhere.
两只鸡 一只狗 Two chickens. One dog.
不再有人对我有所期待 Nobody who expects anything from me.
甚至没人跟我说话 Nobody who is even verbal.
我已经厌倦了试图治愈自己 I'm tired of trying to fix myself.
而且我也厌倦了被别人当作软柿子 And I'm tired of being known as a soft touch.
我不信 Not buying it.
如果你只有六个月可活了 There's no way you would get a dog
你根本不可能得到一只狗 if you only had six months to live.
这样不公平 Wouldn't be fair.
好吧 那我就收养几只搜救犬 Okay, then I would foster a series of rescue dogs.
你说你厌倦了做软柿子 You said you're tired of being a soft touch,
但你还幻想着帮助别人 and yet your fantasy involves helping.
这是我们的本性 We are who we are.
这种手术叫立体定向激光消融 It's called stereotactic laser ablation.
我不喜欢这个名字 Never liked the name.
他说这是个微创手术 而且如果成功了 He said it's minimally invasive, and if it works,
我就能活下去 it would save my life
还可以继续画画 and allow me to continue painting.
如果我赢了 就能赢得一切 If I win, I win everything.
但如果我输了 就完了 And if I lose, it's over.
你第一次去看格拉斯曼医生时 When you first came to see Dr. Glassman,
他并没有给出这个选项 为什么 he didn't offer this option. Why not?
立体定向激光消融是一种新技术 Stereotactic laser ablation is a new technique,
而且从没用来治疗过脑海绵状血管畸形的病人 and it's never been used on a Cav Mal patient.
所以他只是没想到 So, he just didn't think of it?
但后来又想到了吗 But then it came to him?
这是我的主意 It was my idea.
格拉斯曼医生并没有粉饰风险 Dr. Glassman didn't sugarcoat the risks.
这是你能继续艺术的唯一机会 This is the last chance you've got to keep your art.
如果我死了 我也照样无法完成我的作品 I'm not going to complete my work if I'm dead.
不 No.
不过非常感谢你的努力 But thank you so much for trying.
你为什么不帮我说话 Why didn't you back me up?
我不知道你想让我们冒这么大的风险 I didn't know you were gonna throw this crapshoot at us.
你有听到她说的话吗 Do you even listen to what she's been saying?
她想完成她的作品 She wants to finish her work.
她可以再活四十年 She could live another 40 years,
她的艺术会伴其左右 and her art would grow with her.
别装作这些话对你有多重要 Don't pretend those words mean anything to you.
你才不在乎艺术 You don't give a damn about art.
她的家人能有她的陪伴 Her family could grow with her --
她的子女和孙辈 her children, her grandchildren.
你和她眼里就只有艺术 You and her don't give a damn about anything except for art.
你得听我的 照我说的做 You need to listen to me and do what I tell you.
所以我们才没给你打电话 This is why we didn't call you.
那家人的竞争关系一定剑拔弩张 The competition in that family must have been like a buzz saw.
-好吧 -拜托 - Okay. - Please.
退出没有胜算的游戏是完全合情理的 It's perfectly reasonable to get out of a game you can't win.
你没有做错什么... You did everything right --
在离家五千千米的地方找到了使命 moved 3,000 miles, found your own calling,
拥有一份受尊敬的体面职业 a career people respect and value.
事实上 人们评价事物 Actually, there's a good comparative measure
有个很好的测量标准 for how people value things.
就是我们口中的钱 We call it money.
我兄弟已经比我多赚一百万美元 And my brother's already a million dollars ahead.
看看你说到你兄弟有多直接 See how you went straight to your brother?
你有没有想过 Did you ever think
他或许很厌烦做你的对手 he might be tired of being your competitor?
他很早以前就赢了 He won a long time ago.
所以我离开了那个不正常的世界 That's why I left that dysfunctional world behind.
真的吗 Really?
因为在我看来 Because it seems to me
你到这里的第一天 you re-created the competition you grew up with
就重启了这场陪你长大的竞争 the very first day you got here.
带状疱疹 水痘引起的吗 Shingles? Like, from chicken pox?
病毒先是潜伏着 The virus was dormant,
然后化疗抑制了你的免疫系统 then your chemo suppressed your immune system,
病毒就爆发了 and the virus woke up.
治疗可能会很痛 It can be painful,
但很简单 but the treatment is very simple.
你想让我们打电话给你妻子吗 Do you want us to call your wife?
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
只用把我治好 放我出院就行 Just fix me up and release me into the wild.
继续完成遗愿清单 Back to the bucket list.
她说得对 She was right.
我变了一个人 I'm not the same person.
我在做人人都该做的事 I'm doing what we all should be doing.
我们都想不受约束 We all want to cut loose,
但我们都太实际了 but we're just too practical.
如果没有这事 If this had not happened,
我可能活到九十岁也不会抬头看看 I might've lived to be 90, never looking up.
莫菲医生 你有什么想完成的 Dr. Murphy, what do you want to do
未竟之事 that you just haven't done yet?
什么能让你感到幸福 What makes you happy?
-我想给卡莉... -肖恩 - I want to give Carly -- - Shaun.
我喜欢脆苹果 I like a crisp apple.
我喜欢在清晨 阳光洒在床单上 The way the sunlight hits my bedsheets
形成一个完美直角 in the morning in a perfect square.
我喜欢风在树叶中穿行 I like the movement of wind in leaves.
我也喜欢每个圆的周长 And the way the circumference of a circle
总是等于圆周率和直径的乘积 is always equal to pi times the diameter,
无论直径是多少 no matter what numbers you put in.
你喜欢小确幸 You like the happiness of small things.
对 Yes.
你的幸福太宏大了 Your happiness is too loud.
再摇摇头 Shake your head again.
他的肌肉不是有问题吗 Didn't he have a muscle issue?
他的活动度看起来很好 His range of motion seems good.
可以去哥斯达黎加坐滑索道了 对吗 All the better for zip-lining in Costa Rica, right?
不对 Not right.
我们还得做检查 We need more tests.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我知道我们的目标一致 I know we want the same things.
我想给你看点东西 I'd like to show you something.
神经元相互连接 共同作用 Neurons that fire together wire together.
一个神经元释放递质 激活另一个神经元 One neuron goes off, exciting the next,
在脑中形成一个 creating a pathway in the brain
之前不存在的神经通路 that wasn't there before.
妈妈每画一笔 Every time Mom takes a brushstroke,
你每凿一刀 every time you use a chisel.
就像我们在通过选择 It's like we're creating ourselves
塑造自我 in the choices we make.
我们创造了这个 We are creating this.
真漂亮 It's beautiful.
我们用热激光探针 We target each malformation
定位所有畸形处 with a thermal laser probe.
只瞄准畸形处 Just the malformation.
轨迹必须精准 The trajectory has to be perfect.
没有重画的机会 You can't paint over it.
你可以把这个给妈妈看 You could show this to Mom.
但你出面 她才会接受 But from you, she'll accept it.
把激光探针插入冷却导管 Inserting the laser probe into the cooling catheter.
锁定完毕 准备开始 Locked and loaded. Ready to fire.
格拉斯曼医生 你确定是这个位置吗 Dr. Glassman, are you sure of this location?
好像跟术前 It seems significantly far
核磁共振图上的位置离得很远 from what we saw on her pre-surgical MRIs.
你知道大脑和早餐麦片的共同点吗 You know what the brain and breakfast cereal have in common?
就是里面的物质会流动 Contents tend to shift during transport.
所以 我很确定 Yes, I'm quite sure.
完成第一次切除 First ablation complete.
我们只要再成功九次 Now we just have to do it perfectly nine more times.
消失了 It's gone?
不完全 但接近了 Well, not quite. But close.
最近的感染进入了肿瘤 The recent infections got into the tumor.
被你的免疫系统发现了 Which allowed your immune system to find it.
但他们说这是种严重的癌症 But they said it was an aggressive cancer.
一种癌症严重的原因 What makes a cancer aggressive
是能够避开免疫系统 is its ability to evade the immune system.
你的情况已经变化了 That's no longer true about yours.
肿瘤已经缩小到 The tumor has become small enough
可以手术切除 to remove surgically.
一旦感染在你体内完全清除了 We can make an appointment to do that in a few days,
我们就可以预约几天后的手术 once the infection has fully cleared your system.
你现在可以回家了 Meanwhile, you can go home.
恭喜 Congratulations.
回家 Home?
感觉如何 How do you feel?
厌倦 Tired
这个地方 of being in this place.
回答很合理 Reasonable answer.
你觉得创造力受损了吗 Do you feel your creativity's impaired?
那不是你给画作署名的图案吗 Isn't that the graphic you use to sign your paintings?
幸好你知道 Thank you for knowing that.
阿里尔还怕你觉得我搞破坏 Ariel was afraid you'd feel vandalized.
怎么会 Ah, don't be silly.
我们要把门拍卖掉 We'll auction off the door.
妈 你谢了医生 Mom, you've thanked your doctors,
但还没对摩根说什么 but you haven't said anything to Morgan.
从这场疾病中全身而退 You know, getting out of this mess intact,
要归功于她 that's down to her.
对 我知道 Oh, yes, I know.
感激不尽 I owe you everything.
谢谢你 救了我 Thank you... for saving my life.
不客气 You're welcome.
我们的小拖沓终于成功了 Our little plodder came through.
不是每个人都会「狂欢」 Not everybody gets a parade.
可能卡莉没有 Maybe Carly doesn't have them.
可能我练习不够 Maybe I haven't practiced enough.
我练习手术技能 I've worked on my surgical technique
就花了上百个小时 for hundreds of hours.
你不能把披萨一拿出冰箱就埋头开吃 You can't just take the pizza out of the freezer and dig in.
要先放进微波炉 You have to put it in the microwave first.
其实 利姆医生 Actually, Dr. Lim,
用烤箱烤外皮更脆 a toaster oven is better for the crust.
她指的不是披萨 肖恩 She's not talking about pizza, Shaun.
你这个年纪的男人耐心耗尽 Men your age run out of patience.
他们在披萨热好之前就关掉微波炉 They turn off the microwave before that pizza's ready.
你想让她体验「狂欢」 肖恩 You want to give a parade, Shaun?
是的 Yes.
你想让她有很好的「狂欢」 You want to give a great parade?
「狂欢」有区别吗 Are there differences in parades?
有些人的「狂欢」是片状分布的 Some have balloons and marching bands.
还有一些是零星分布 Other parades are sparsely attended.
我想让卡莉有最好的体验 I want Carly to have the best parade possible.
我知道 I know you do.
就像你想成为最好的外科医生一样 Just as you want to be the best surgeon possible.
你在手术室里全身心投入 When you're in the O.R., you commit totally.
你坚持己见 心无旁骛 You persevere. Everything else falls away.
集中精力于手上的事 You focus entirely on what you're doing.
那就是你的超能力 That's your superpower.
现在我希望你带卡莉回家 Now I want you to take Carly home
钻研「狂欢」之术 and work that parade route
不达目的不罢休 and don't stop until the band begins playing.
时间再拉长3% And then go 3% longer.
我会的 I will.
明天见 See you tomorrow.
这么认真 All that focus.
还挺有意思 Strangely intriguing.
如果我只剩六个月的生命 If I only had six months to live,
BGM: Parade by Kevin Morby
我只想留在此处 I wouldn't want to be anywhere but where I am.
♪ If you come to find out who you are ♪
♪ And may you find out ♪
♪ May find you find out who you are ♪
你上车吗 Are you getting on?
♪ If you come to search for what is lost ♪
不上 No.
♪ Then may you find it ♪
♪ May you find it at any cost ♪
♪ If you come over from far ♪
♪ May it not touch you or ever do you harm ♪
♪ Passing slowly through the town ♪
♪ My feet, they cannot touch the ground ♪
♪ Of the parade ♪