《闪谷》前情提要 Previously, onShining Vale
我和你妈一看到这房子就爱上了 When your mom and I saw it, we fell in love with it.
换句话说 妈妈跟外面什么男人搞上了 In other words, mom boned some rando,
-所以我们不得不搬到这里 -嘿 不是那么回事 - so we had to move here. - Hey, no! It's not about that.
我打算将阁楼做为我的写作间 I'm gonna be using the attic as my writing annex.
-哦 你是个作家啊 -如果下个月 - Oh, you're a writer? - If we don't get
你还写不完第一章 那我就要收回预付款了 the first chapter next month, I want the advance back.
拜托 Please.
怎么感觉你穿的像是去试镜色情片的 You look like you're auditioning for Pornhub.
不想让别人称呼你为那姑娘吧 You don't wanna be known as "that girl."
你要交些跟你同龄的朋友 好吗 You make an age-appropriate friend,okay?
这房子有大问题 There's something very wrong with this house.
我在楼下看见人了 I saw someone downstairs.
我什么都没看到啊 我是说 没什么异常啊 I didn't see anything. I mean, nothing unusual.
你觉得我是发疯了吗 Do you think I'm going crazy?
帕特丽夏 Patricia.
你在我家里做什么 What are you doing in my house?
太他妈热了 It's fucking hot.
什么 What?
盖娜 Gaynor?
罗克西 Roxy!
罗克西 Roxy?
别进去 Don't go in there.
用语言表达 帕特丽夏 Use your words, Patricia.
天哪 Oh, God.
天哪 Oh, God!
抱歉抱歉 我上班点的闹铃 Sorry, sorry. It's a work alarm.
天哪 Oh, my God.
抱歉 我来 嘘 嘘 Sorry, let me get it. Shh, shh, shh.
我来 - Ohh-- - I got it.
你不是吧 Ow! Are you serious?
抱歉 - Ow! - Ow. Sorry.
嘘 嘘 睡吧 Shh, shh, shh, shh. Go to sleep.
我做噩梦了 I had a bad dream.
真的吗 Seriously?
上来吧 Get in.
好 Okay.
-天哪 -无所不在的闹钟啊 - Oh, my God. - Failsafe alarm.
我来按掉 I'll get it.
周一
-见他妈的鬼啊 -没事吧 － Holy fuckin' shit! - Everything okay?
特里 还记得刚搬过来 Terry, remember the woman
我见到的那个女人吗 that I saw when we first moved in?
是窗外的那个 The woman outside the window
还是在家里的那个 or the woman in the family room?
-那是同一个人啊 -哦 - That's the same woman. - Oh.
总之 我不知道她是个鬼 Anyway, I don't know if she's a ghost,
但是她总是出现在我梦里 然后昨天晚上 but she keeps popping up in my dreams, and last night--
就是压力大做的梦吧 我以前 It's probably a stress dream. I used to have
-曾经做过那美梦 -我知道我知道 - these fantastical dreams-- - I know, I know.
回到了商学院 发现自己期末忘了 Back in business school, and you forgot to study
-复习会计学了 -是国际金融 - for your accounting final. - It was International Finance.
-会计学我不用复习 -好吧 在我的梦里 - Accounting I would have aced. - Okay, well, in my dream,
她用烟头烫我 she burned me with a cigarette.
-哦 帕特 别这样 -你看啊 - Oh, Pat. Come on. - And look--
天哪 Oh, my God. Wow!
这样疼不 Does it hurt if I do this?
-啊 -抱歉 抱歉 - Ow! - Sorry. I'm sorry.
我看看 看看这个 这 Let me see. Look at that. It's--
-你什么毛病啊 -抱歉 这可能就是烫伤 - What is wrong with you? - Sorry. It's probably a burn.
我刚告诉你是烫伤了啊 I just told you it was a burn.
我知道 但不是你做个梦就成真的烫伤 Yeah, but I don't believe you dreamed that onto your arm.
我 我想可能是你煎培根时 I-I think that you were cooking bacon
把油溅到胳膊上了 and maybe some grease splattered.
我什么时候煎过培根 When was the last time I made bacon?
那你什么时候被鬼烫过胳膊呢 When was the last time a ghost burned you with a cigarette?
感觉太真实了 It seemed so real.
我就是觉得可能 Well, I just read that moving
搬到这来是造成了你压力的第二大原因 所以 is the second biggest cause of stress dreams, so--
那第一个是什么 What's number one?
婚姻问题吧 我觉得 Marital strife, I think.
嗯 Yeah.
-我去跟孩子们打个招呼 -嗯 去打招呼吧 - I'm gonna say hi to the kids. - Yeah. Let's say hi.
-早上好啊孩子们 -老兄 你把我蛋蛋都打掉了 - Morning, kids. - Bro, you shot my nutsack off.
这东西又坏了吗 Is this thing broken again?
我们能不能弄个正常点的咖啡机 Can we please just get a normal coffee maker?
不不不 这又不是监狱食堂 No, no, no. It's not a prison cafeteria.
只是有点性能不稳定而已 It's a little temperamental.
你得触发他的敏感区域才行 我来吧 You just gotta play with the sweet spot-- let me.
好吗 All right?
-你今天怎么穿这么多 -我不是非得 - Why are you so covered up? - Maybe I don't need to
暴露自己的身体来体现自我价值吧 use my body to define my self- worth.
别蒙我了 因为你们学校要拍 Well, since they had to pixelate
十年级的电子照片吧 your tenth grade class picture, I'm not buying it.
这是什么 你脖子上戴的什么 What is it? Cause you have a hickey?
我看看 你还纹身了 Let me see. Do you have a tattoo?
妈 Mom.
别碰我 Get off of me!
你什么时候开始戴十字架的 Since when do you wear a cross?
我还不能有点信仰什么的吗 Okay. You know, I'm allowed to have spirituality in my life.
真是够了 手拿开吧 Jesus Christ, get off my ass.
老兄 给我退后 Bro, back off.
你跟谁说话呢小家伙 Who you talking to, buddy?
弗雷德 我在虚拟现实游戏里遇到的一个男孩 Fred, a boy I met in the Oculus.
哪有什么叫弗雷德的男孩 There is no boy named Fred.
弗雷德是一个49岁的穿着海豚短裤的恋童癖 Fred is the name of a 49-year-old pedophile
他试图在冰淇淋车里 in dolphin shorts who's trying to groom you
诱奸你 to live in an ice cream van.
你不是想让我交个朋友吗 You wanted me to make a friend?
这就是我朋友 你不能什么都想要吧 I made a friend. You can't have it both ways.
嘿 嘿 嘿 菲尔普斯家的 Hey, hey, hey. Phelps family.
我们能把分贝降低三个档次吗 Let's all take it down about three notches, okay?
能找人把那个门铃调个速吗 Can we please hire someone to speed up that doorbell?
我们家原来的那个杂工呢 Mm, yeah, what happened to our old handyman?
好吧 Okay.
见鬼 Shit!
卡住了 It was stuck.
我去应门 I'll get it.
嗨 盖娜在家吗 Hi. Is Gaynor around?
稍等 盖娜 Uh, yeah. Hold on. Gaynor.
-瑞安 -盖娜 - 'Sup, Ryan? - 'Sup, Gaynor?
艾玛 吓我一跳 Oh, Jesusl
我是瓦莱丽·何 I'm Valerie He.
哦 是我妈 我们就住隔壁 Oh, this is my mom. We live next door.
你好 我是帕特 Hi, I'm Pat.
我在附近见过你 I've seen you around.
看来我们两家的孩子玩的还挺好 Seems our children have developed a friendship.
是啊 盖娜去报名参加节欲俱乐部时 Yeah, we met when Gaynor was signing up
我们碰到的 for the Chastity Club.
你咋不参加时空旅行俱乐部呢 Hope you also signed up for the Time Travel Club.
妈 你能闭嘴吗 Mom, please shut the fuck up.
你要不在车里等我吧 Do you wanna wait in the car?
好 Uh, yeah.
需要我也把他带上吗 Would you like me to take him?
需要 Oh. Yeah.
但我们可没有退货政策 But we have a no returns policy.
开玩笑的 他可是我的最爱 That's just a joke. He's my favorite.
我知道一个做妈的不该这么说 但是 I know you're not supposed to say that, but--
杰克 拿上你的东西 Uh, Jake. Grab your stuff.
何太会送你去学校 Mrs. He is gonna take you to school.
好 Oh, okay.
不是游戏里 是现实生活里亲爱的 真是够了 No, in real life, honey. Christ almighty.
越来越近了 It's getting closer.
-它已经出手了 -抱歉 我听不见你在说什么 - It's reached out. - I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
它能感觉到你的脆弱 It senses your weakness.
好吧 知道了 Okay. Gotcha.
-杰克快 走了 -别放弃 - Jake, let's go. - Do not give in.
杰克快点 Okay. Jake, now!
好好上学哈 Have a good day at school.
-你不能假装看不到 -好吧 - Please don't ignore this. - Okay.
谁啊 帕特又交新朋友了吗 Who was that? Patty make a new friend?
不 帕特遇到了奇怪的邻居 No. Patty met a weird fucking neighbor.
天哪 你感觉到了吗 Oh, my God. Did you just feel that?
-没有 -我跟你说 - Nope. - I'm telling you,
这房子绝对有大问题 there's something s- seriously wrong here.
不不不 帕特 我们谈过了 No, no, no, Pat. We've been through this.
我们不会搬的 帕特 我们不能搬 We're not moving, Pat. We can't.
而且这房子也没任何问题 And there's nothing wrong with this house.
天哪 Oh, my God.
没事 这 No, there's--
帕特 你进来 Oh, Pat, get in here.
看看这个 Look at this.
是个身高记录呢 It's an old growth chart.
黛西 Aw. Daisy.
我一直想给咱们家娃也弄个记录来着 I always wish we'd done one of these with our kids.
也许现在开始也来得及 Maybe we should start.
我觉得他们不会再长个了 I think they're done growing.
那我们自己来 Well, then we can do us.
记录一下我们越老越缩的身高 Mark how we shrink as we get older.
你不觉得这门突然自己关上 You don't think that was fucking weird
很奇怪吗 that the door just slammed?
不奇怪啊 就是弹簧铰链生锈了而已 Nope. It's a--that's a rusty spring hinge.
我敢说 只要我给它上点防锈油 I bet I pop a little WD-40 on that,
就没有所谓的鬼魂了 there goes your ghost.
-哈 -天哪 你干什么啊 - Hah! - God, why?
你好啊 老朋友 Hello, old friend.
亲爱的 Honey...
你看到润滑油了吗 you seen the lubricant?
我草泥马 Motherfucker!
我跟你说了 I told you,
一定是弗兰克把他的电钻忘在我们的旧房子那 Frank must have left his drill at our old place,
然后搬家工人就一起给搬来了 and the movers packed it.
没有别的 There's nothing more to it.
好吧 我只是觉得看到它就提醒了我 Right. I think it just reminds me of the time
上次我雇他给我们修水槽 that I hired him to fix our sink
而你跟他在我们厨房发生了关系 所以 and you had sex with him in our kitchen, so...
特里 你是怎么处理你的愤怒的 Terry, how are you dealing with your anger?
你又是怎么处理你的愤怒的 How do you deal with your anger?
特里 他是想帮我们 Hey, Terry, he's just trying to help.
抱歉 我 我没事 Sorry. I just--I'm good.
很好 我劈木柴 Good. Chopping wood.
然后就能把愤怒压下来 I just push it all down.
特里 你不能把它都压在心里 Terry, you can't just bottle it up.
不去检视自己的愤怒会导致无来由的狂怒 Unchecked anger can build into unfiltered rage.
-帕特说她见鬼了 -什么 - Pat's seeing ghosts. - What?
不是鬼们 你说得我就像个精神病一样 Not ghosts. You make me sound like a loon.
我只是见到了一个鬼 I've seen one ghost.
一个50年代的家庭主妇总是出现 It's a '50s housewife that keeps popping up.
你有吃抗抑郁药吗 Are you taking your anti-depressants?
有吃啊 可是不起作用 Yes, I am, and they're not working.
我的抑郁简直无法形容 My depression is off the fucking charts.
你有锻炼吗 饮食正常吗 Are you exercising? Eating right?
在镇上交朋友了吗 Have you made any friends in town?
没 我想你没有 No, I don't think you have.
他没问你呢 You know, I don't think he was talking to you.
你 你有做过这些事吗 H- have you...you any of those things?
没 我没时间 我要写书 No. I don't have time. I've gotta write my book,
我们搬进来之后我只写了一段 and I've written one paragraph since we moved in.
我一直让她去镇上的书店 I keep telling her to use the local bookstore.
只要买一杯咖啡就可以免费上网 Free Wi- Fi when you buy a cup of coffee.
怎么 你现在替 What, do you work for
美国商会工作了吗 the fucking Chamber of Commerce now?
-我只想帮你 帕特 -等等 - I'm just trying to help, Pat. - Hold on.
-特里可能说得对 -当然啊 - Terry may be right. - Of course I am.
买一小杯咖啡 就能免费上网 You buy a small coffee, you get free Wi-Fi.
我是说 如果你能离开家多社交一下 I meant, I think it would be therapeutic for you
可能会对你有治疗效果 to get out of the house, socialize.
你觉得那样有助于缓解抑郁 You think that would help my depression?
当然 我还要增加你的 Absolutely. I'm also going to up the dosage
抗抑郁药剂量到300毫克 on your anti-depressants to 300 milligrams.
感觉好多啊 - Mm-hmm. - That sounds like a lot.
我有很多患者 I have a number of patients
都吃那个剂量 who take that dosage.
是吗 有多少 一个吗 Really? Like how many? One?
不止 不止一个 More. More than one.
三个 Three?
没有那么多 Less than three.
房间已预定
节欲俱乐部
有请节欲俱乐部新成员 I'd now like to ask any new members
做自我介绍 of the Chastity Club to introduce themselves.
没事的 你来吧 It's cool. Go ahead.
好 Okay.
我的初次性体验非常典型 my first sexual experience was, like, pretty typical.
主要就是跟楼上的邻居手淫 It was mostly just hand stuff with our upstairs neighbor.
他特别不会 He was terrible at it.
就像是他在一个特别满的健身包里 It was like he was trying to find his keys at the bottom
找他的钥匙一样 of a very full gym bag.
总之 我跟他做的主要原因是他喜欢很大声地 Anyway, I mostly did it because he loved playing reggaeton
播放雷鬼乐 会让我妈特别恼火 really loud, which made my mom lose her shit.
最终 我跟他发生了真正的性关系 Eventually, I had real deal "P-in-V” sex with him
感觉也不怎么样 and wasn't great either,
不过我估计那也怪我吧 but I guess that's on me, right?
所以 现在我绝对愿意等那个 So, uh, yeah, now I'm like totally ready to wait
适合我的人 for the right person.
嗯 很高兴来这里 Yeah. Good to be here.
其实说出你的名字和年级就行 Just your name and grade.
盖娜 11年级 Gaynor. 11th.
我们 还是休息五分钟吧 We're gonna take a five-minute break.
克蕾西达意识到 不是她走进了阁楼 "Cressida realized she hadn't entered the attic.
而是阁楼进入了她的身体 The attic had entered her..."
她跟房子搞上了 She fucked the house?
不是 可能 No. Maybe.
我也不知道 I- I don't know.
我写的时候有点心不在焉 所以 I was kind of outside of myself when I wrote it, so...
这个的确能吸人眼球 Well, it's certainly an attention- grabber.
我觉得你应该继续写 I say keep going.
-真的吗 -有何不可 - Seriously? - Why not?
因为医生给我开了兽药般剂量的镇静剂 Cause I was just prescribed veterinary sedatives
好让我不再受鬼的折磨 so I can stop being tormented by a ghost.
艺术家总是在跟内心的恶魔做斗争时才有最好的作品 Artists work best when they're battling their demons.
你写克蕾西达时 完全 When you wrote Cressida, you were totally
失去了自我控制 那是一部杰作 out of control, and it was a masterpiece.
你能不能暂时别以我的编辑口吻来说话 Can you stop being my editor for just one minute?
如果你不写完这本书 I can stop being your editor forever
我就可以彻底不做你的编辑了 if you don't finish this book.
好 明白 Okay. Got it.
失去控制 Lose control.
也许我应该重新酗酒 Hey, maybe I should start drinking again.
不 更好的是 我再去以前的毒贩子那里 No, better yet, I'll buy an eight ball
买3克左右的可卡囚 off my old coke dealer
再跟霍华德·约翰逊酒店的夜班经理来一发 and fuck the night manager at Howard Johnson's.
我说的是反其道而行之 控制自己 I am saying the opposite. Take control.
利用你现在面对的一切 疲劳 Use whatever you're dealing with- - fatigue
抑郁 内疚等等 写这方面的 depression, guilt-- and write to that.
你可以成为当代的西尔维娅·普拉斯 You could be a modern-day Sylvia Plath.
亲 这可能就是你的《钟形罩》 Trish, this could be your Bell Jar.
西尔维娅·普拉斯因为写《钟形罩》这本书发疯了 Sylvia Plath went insane writing The Bell Jar.
然后把头塞进了烤箱 And then she stuck her head in the oven.
好吧 不用全像普拉斯嘛 Well, don't go full Plath.
不过我可以从中想出推广的卖点 Although I could market the shit out of that.
只要别发疯 Just stop right before that.
利用那些给你增加点创意 Use it to get the creative juices going
写得露骨一点 那是你的品牌 and keep it filthy-- that's your brand.
-谢谢 -说实话 - Thank you. - You know, to be honest,
我以为这本书是要写你的出轨韵事呢 I thought this book was gonna be about your affair.
我不能那么对特里 I could never do that to Terry.
我们搬到离城里三小时车程的地方 I mean, we moved three hours away
就是为了不让他再见到弗兰克 so he would never have to see Frank.
我是弗兰克 This is Frank.
我是特里·菲尔普斯 This is Terry Phelps.
你跟我老婆上床了 You had sex with my wife.
你的钻头在我这儿 I have your drill.
伙计 也就来了三发 Dude, it's only like three flights.
用不着那么生气吧 You should not be that gassed.
闭嘴 弗兰克 Sh...shut up, Frank.
话说 你是来揍我的吗 So, um, you here to beat me up?
不是 我来是 No. I'm here because...
我应该就是因为你和帕特之间的事而来的 I guess I'm here because of what happened with you and Pat.
-床事 -对 床事 弗兰克 - The sex. - Yes, the sex, Frank.
我以为我放下了 I thought I was over it,
然后我突然看到你那该死的钻头 and then I come across that stupid drill of you--
我想知道是怎么发生的 I just wanna understand how it happened.
你是计划好的吗 I mean, did you plan it?
你到底是不是去修水槽的 Did you even think you were gonna fix the sink?
因为 为此我还给你付钱了的 Because, you know, you charged me for it.
我没有计划 我过去修水槽 I didn't plan it. I came over to fix the sink
然后帕特开始哭 于是我把我的上衣给她了 and Pat started crying, so I gave her my shirt.
那怎么会是你的第一反应呢 How is that your first instinct?
我也不知道 It just was!
接下来我还没反应 她就开始吻我了 Next thing you know, she starts kissing me,
就这么发生了 and it happened.
还有 我的收费系统是自动的 所以 Also, I have an automatic billing system, so--
你是说她主动的 You're saying she made the first move?
我不相信你 Because I don't believe you.
她当时状态很不好 She was in a really bad place. All right?
我想安慰她的 于是就大意了 I tried to comfort her, and I got caught up.
好吧 那么 AlI right, so...
怎么回事 w-w-what up?
你 Do...
你 你爱她吗 Do you...love her?
天哪 不爱 No, man.
我连怎么爱自己都还不知道呢 I'm still trying to learn how to love myself.
天哪 你知道那有 Oh, my God. Do you have any idea
多变态吗 how pathetic that i--
那 那是意大利的吗 Is that- - is that Italian?
是啊 我在米兰买的 Yeah, man. Picked it up in Milan.
-从来没见过这种东西 -嗯 - Never seen anything like it. - Yeah.
它有高档的拿铁牛奶系统 It's got the deluxe LatteCrema System
每次都可以做出完美的馥芮白 for a perfect flat white every time.
-是吗 -嗯 - Yeah? - Yeah.
我要把它拿走 弗兰克 I'm taking it with me, Frank.
-啥 -对 - What? - Yeah.
不行 特里 那个不能碰 No-no, Terry, that's-- that's off limits.
是啊 我老婆也不能碰 Yeah, well, so was my wife
-要我帮你吗 -不用 - Uh, want me to help you? - No.
很容易碎的 It- it's fragile, man.
好吧 抬另一边 AlI right, grab the other side.
-孩子们还好吗 -嗯 杰克挺好的 - Kids doing all right? - Yeah, Jake's good.
欢迎来到闪谷 一起闪耀吧
斯嘉丽拿铁
书店咖啡馆
靠 Fuck it.
给你 请欣赏 Here you are. Enjoy.
《钟形罩》这本书还真不是用来欣赏的 The Bell Jarisn't really a book you enjoy.
更像是通往万丈深渊的旅程 It's more of a journey into the abyss.
请欣赏 Enjoy.
帕特 Pat!
我 得走了 Oh, I'm--I gotta go.
过来坐 Have a seat.
-嗨 罗宾 -嗨帕特 - Hi, Robyn. - Hi, Pat.
各位 这是帕特·菲尔普斯 Ladies, this is Pat Phelps.
她买下了榆木镇那个大房子 She bought the big house on Elm.
-哇 -知道了 - Oh, wow. - I see.
怎么 那房子有问题吗 What? Is something wrong with the house?
当然没有 Of course not!
那是个宝藏 It is a treasure.
我太失礼了 Oh, I'm so rude.
帕特 她们都是闪谷镇妇女会的 Pat, this is the Shining Vale Ladies Auxiliary Club.
-艾米丽·哈里斯 -谢莉斯·内森 - Emily Harris. - Cherise Nathan.
斯蒂芬·爱德华太太 Mrs. Stephen Edwards.
帕特是个作家 - Pat is a writer. - Ooh.
有没有我拜读过的作品 Anything I would have read?
我表示怀疑 斯蒂芬·爱德华太太 Mm, I seriously doubt it, Mrs. Stephen Edwards.
还记得《克蕾西达：无拘无束》吗 Remember Cressida: Unbound?
就多年前那本流传的小黄书吗 That dirty little book that was passed around years ago?
那就是帕特写的 That was Pat.
当然了 Oh, of coursel
我邻居就用过一次 My neighbor used it once.
我侄女曾开玩笑送给我一本 I got it as a gag gift from my niece.
我太累了 先走了 I'm exhausted. I'm-I'm gonna go.
帕特 我们想让你多参与我们的活动呢 Pat, we'd love to, um, get you more involved.
-烘焙义卖你也来吧 -我不会烘焙 - Maybe with the, uh, bake sale? - I don't bake.
那家长教师之夜呢 What about for Parent-Teacher night?
我也不当家长 I don't parent.
走了 女士们 Ladies.
拜拜 Bye!
罗克西 你在干嘛 Roxy, what is that?
罗克西 别咬了 Roxy, drop it!
罗克西 Roxy.
吓死了 Oh, God.
没事 我只是做了个噩梦 It's okay. I just had a bad dream.
过来 没事的 Come here. It's okay.
好狗子 我没事 没事 Good girl, it's okay. It's okay.
真没事 It's okay.
《克蕾西达：无拘无束》 帕蒂·麦克拉里
什么鬼 What the hell?
晚餐
说是四川菜 可我尝着像是湖南菜 Says Szechuan, but I'm--I'm tasting Hunan.
-你觉得呢 帕特 -讲真哈 - What do you think, Pat? - Honestly, honey,
味道跟苍蝇小馆的中餐没什么不同 it just tastes like really shitty Chinese food.
可能是苍蝇小馆的广东风味 - Mm, could be shitty Cantonese. - I'm sorr--
抱歉 吃晚餐时能不讲脏话吗 Could we have one family meal where we don't curse?
盖娜 你要是想跟一个教会男孩约会 Gaynor, if you're trying to get back at me
来报复我 我告诉你 我不在乎 by dating a church guy, I gotta tell ya, I don't care.
我俩就是一起玩而已 想认识些新朋友 We're just hanging out, trying to meet people.
谁让你从没教过我 And you've raised me
社交技能呢 with literally no social skills.
该死的门铃 Fucking doorbell.
应该是弗雷德 他能跟我们一起吃晚餐吗 That's Fred. Can he come for dinner?
把我们的地址给了一个恋童癖吗 You gave our address to a child molester?
杰克 不是跟你讲过网上安全吗 Jake, we talked about online safety.
人家根本不是娈恋童癖 You're gonna be so embarrassed
你就等着打脸吧 when he isn't a pedophile.
别担心 我来处理 Don't worry. I'll handle it.
我去祈祷了 I'm going to pray.
很好 Good.
最好祈祷你别跟瑞安搞出人命 Pray you don't get pregnant with Ryan
自己生的自己养 'cause you'll have to keep it!
你他妈逗我呢吧 Fucking kidding me?
-你就是杰克 -你是弗兰克吗 - Are you Jake? - Are you Frank?
-啥 -啥 - What? - What?
-不不不 我不是 -我不是杰克 - No, no, no. I'm not-- - No. I'm not Jake.
-弗雷德 -杰克 你好吗 哥们儿 - Fred! - Jake. What's up, bro?
哥们儿 过来看看我刚发现的站点 Bro, check out this portal I found.
行吧 Okay. Okay.
-他是弗雷德 -这是杰克 - He's Fred. - And that's Jake.
很抱歉 I-I'm so sorry.
我以为你是个恋童癖 想诱奸我儿子 I- I thought you were a pedo grooming my son.
我可没恋童癖 绝对没有 No. Not a groomer. Not a groomer.
我以为你孩子才是 Thought the same thing about your kid.
毕竟 杰克这名字 有点恋童癖的意味 Hey, come on, the name Jake, it's a little pedo-like, so...
弗雷德也有怪蜀黍的感觉 Eh, Fred sounds like a kiddie diddler.
笑死 LOL.
我看到你家房子时 就想 I mean, when I saw your house I was like,
这完全是《沉默的羔羊》翻版啊 "It puts the lotion on its skin, "you know?
我喜欢这栋房子 I love this house.
啊 我是说能住在这里真的很不错 I mean, I'd kill to live here.
对了 我是莱尔德 I'm Laird, by the way.
-特里 你好嘛 -挺好 都挺好的 - Terry. How are you? - I'm good. I'm good.
好吧 我们正在吃晚餐 所以 AlI right, well, we're just sitting down to dinner, so...
感谢邀请 你人真好 Thank you. That's so kind.
餐桌在左边 To your left.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
-感觉真不错 -是啊 - This is awesome. - Yeah.
这个年龄很难交到新朋友 It's so hard to make new friends at this age.
杰克对交朋友这事很挑剔 Well, Jake is very particular about who he connects with.
相较而言 他们要么还太小 Historically, they've either been way younger
要么还处在监护期 or in the custodial field.
但是 我说的是我 But I, uh, I meant me.
对不起 我是不是太冒昧了 I- I'm so sorry. Did I overstep?
不不不 我 No. No, no, no, no, I--
我们也聊过在这个镇子上交朋友的事 We've actually talked about meeting friends here in town.
孩子妈还在吗 Is there a Mrs. Laird?
理论上说还在 Technically.
但她现在跟别人在约会 But she's seeing someone else right now.
真的很抱歉 Oh, very, very sorry.
而且最惨的是 You know, the worst part is,
我不光失去了妻子 not only did I lose my wife,
-还失去了最好的朋友 -唉 - I lost my best friend. - Oh, God.
她跟我最好的朋友上床了 She was fucking my best friend.
我去收拾下 Um, I'm gonna go clean up.
不行 这些你不能吃 No. You don't want any part of this.
这个叫莱尔德的家伙不哭的时候 Hey, this Laird guy is actually pretty funny
还挺搞笑的 when he's not crying.
-你还好吗 -不好 - Everything okay? - No.
这本书总是莫名其妙的出现 This book keeps appearing out of nowhere.
有那么奇怪吗 That's not that odd.
咱们地下室里放着300本呢 We have like 300 copies lying around our den.
这不是那300本里的 This isn't my copy.
这本书被折了角 还圈了词 Someone dog-eared the pages and- and circled words.
无神论 汗津津 假阳具 Uh, "atheists," "sweaty," "dildo."
有人想告诉我些什么 Someone's trying to tell me something.
最好还是别把这书 Probably that we shouldn't leave this book around
-放在孩子们能看到的地方吧 -好吧 - when we have kids over. - Okay.
算了 我 当我没事 You know what, never mind. I just--it does--I'm fine.
别这样 我想知道出了什么事 Oh, no, no. I wanna know what's going on.
不 你才不想 No, you don't.
你只会男权说教一番 You're just gonna mansplain it away
加之冠冕堂皇的逻辑佐证 with some logical explanation.
怎么就是男权说教了 That's not mansplaining.
男权说教 - Mansplaining... - Mm-hmm.
一般都会有 ...happens to be
一套冠冕堂皇的逻辑 that there's usually a logical explanation.
如果这个逻辑就是 Well, what if the logical explanation
-我失心疯了呢 -不会的 - is that I'm losing my mind? - No.
卡姆读了我在阁楼写的那一页 Yeah, Kam read the page that I wrote in the attic--
可我根本不记得自己写过 which I don't even remember writing--
她还说写的很好 and she said it was great.
她说 拥抱疯狂吧 She said, "Embrace the crazy."
卡姆真这么说的 太棒了 Kam said that? That's fantastic!
棒什么啊 我可不能发疯啊 No, it's not! I can't afford to go crazy.
你也听到贝格医生的话了 I mean, you heard Dr. Berg.
如果你发狂我发疯 If you explode and I go nuts,
咱家俩娃怎么办啊 what's gonna happen to the kids?
亲爱的 孩子们会没事的 Honey, the kids are gonna be fine, all right?
而且我也不会发狂 And I am not gonna explode.
其实呢 In fact,
我今天购物去治愈了一下心灵 I did a little retail therapy today.
看 Voila.
-这是弗兰克的吗 -对 - Is that Frank's? - Yeah.
我去那个臭小子的 I went over to that son of--
你怎么知道这是弗兰克的 how do you know that's Frank's?
什么 What?
我的天 Oh, my God!
你什么时候去他家了 When were you at his apartment?
还是那周的荒唐事 It was a part of that terrible week.
我还没消化你先亲他的事实 I didn't wanna believe that you kissed him first.
现在又发现你俩上床了一个星期 Now, I find out that you fucked him for a week?
你不是说只上过一次吗 You said it was one timel
-是一次事件 -还事件 - It-it was a one-time event. - An event?
车震马拉松么 What? Like a Toyotathon?
就是一次外遇 持续了一周而已 It was one affair. It lasted a week.
又有什么区别呢 What difference does it make?
因为只上一次情有可原 Because once is a mistake.
一周就说明 你内心已经作出了选择 A week is...you made a choice.
-一个很糟糕的选择 -没错 - A really bad choice. - That's right.
如果能让时间倒流 改变这个事实 And I would do anything--anything
我愿意付出所有 if I could go back and do things differently.
我真希望自己当时不在家 I wish I wasn't home.
我恨不得去上 I wish that- that I'd taken that Pilates class
你给我买的普拉提课了 that you gave me for my birthday.
我付了三年的钱 你只去了一次 I paid for three years, you went once.
你还想让我说什么 What do you want me to say?
我把一切搞砸了 我知道 I fuck everything up. I know that.
家庭和婚姻 我都搞砸了 I fucked up our family. I fucked up our marriage.
我竭尽全力 不想再把所剩无几的生活搞砸 And I'm trying so hard not to fuck up what we have left,
但真的太难了 but it's really, really hard.
我心好累 And I'm just so tired.
帕特 过来吧 Pat, come-come here.
我不想过去 I don't want to.
帕蒂 Patty.
不 No.
听话 Come here.
你听我说 Hey. Listen to me.
我们是菲尔普斯家的 We're Phelps.
谁都搞不了我们 We're unfuckable. -
你这么伤心我很难过 我 I'm sorry you were so sad. I...
我应该多关心关心你的 I should've been paying better attention.
很抱歉我浪费了普拉提课程 I'm sorry about the Pilates.
对 合同里写的很明白 Yeah, it says right there in the contract,
要通过传真取消 不然你就会失去 got to cancel by fax or you lose the--
如果觉得尴尬了就告诉我一声 Just let me know when it starts to get weird,
我会自己走的 and I'll leave.
-就是现在 -好吧 - Right about now. - Oh.
卡姆说对了 Kam is right.
果真是大师之作 This really is a masterpiece.
晚安了 宝贝 Good night, sweetheart.
用你的语言 帕特里夏 Use your words, Patricia.
用你的语言 Use your words.
用我的语言 Use my words.
无神论 汗津津
假阳具
达达主义 取笑
热辣
狡猾
一个节日汗津津的奶子
圆滚滚
湿润
屁股
我在使用自己的语言 I'm using my words.
到底是什么啊 What words?
黛西
黛西是最后一个死的
好消息 帕特丽夏 你没疯 Good news, Patricia. You're not crazy.