9号秘事 第二季 第五集
我刚到 I'm just pulling in now.
几号来着 What number was it?
谁联系的我们 Who called it in?
天呐 听上去不妙啊 Oh, God. Doesn't sound too good, does it?
希望我没来迟 Hope I'm not too late.
你好 是从这边进吗 Hello there. Through here, is it?
帮帮忙 救救我们 Please! We need help! Please!
外婆的派对
当天早些时候
吉姆 Jim!
吉姆 你按我说的把音乐找好了吗 Jim, have you sorted out the music like I asked you to?
这次找点合适的 Something appropriate this time,
别再放《传教》的原声碟了 not the soundtrack to The Mission.
我要有派对的气氛 不是英国航空的广告 I want it to be like a party, not an advert for British Airways.
吉姆 Jim!
真没用 Useless.
天呐 凯蒂 你搞了什么啊 Oh, my God! Katie, what HAVE you been doing?
怎么了 What?
乱成这样 像爆炸现场一样 This mess! It's like a bomb site!
就是本书而已 Well, it's...it's just a book.
你把流苏都弄翻了 You've...you've knocked over all the tassels,
你是想逼疯我吗 我才打扫好这里 are you trying to drive me mad? I've only just tidied up in here.
这挺干净的啊 我就是在做作业 Well, it is tidy! I'm just doing my homework.
那你上楼去做吧 Well, you'll have to do it upstairs.
我受不了你把这儿整得像越战现场 I can't have it looking like Vietnam!
你知道今天是你外婆的派对 You know it's your nana's party today.
你爸呢 在楼上吗 Where's your father? Is he upstairs?
不知道 他们什么时候来 Dunno. What time are they coming?
随时都可能到 Any minute!
如果他在那栋甲板房里看《倒数》 If he's in that deckhouse watching his Countdown videos,
我就杀了他 I'll kill him.
给外婆的贺卡签名了吗 Have you signed your nana's card?
没有 我给她做了一张 用了胶水和亮片 No. I made her one with loads of glue and glitter...
什么 What?!
凯蒂 这不好笑 Katie, it's not funny.
你是想害我中风吗 79岁 Are you trying to give me a stroke? Oh, 79.
我真希望是80岁生日 那就圆满了 I just wish it was the 80th, then we could have it all done.
-这话真动听 -你知道我的意思啦 - That's nice! - Well, you know what I mean.
好多麻烦事啊 It's a lot of work.
你能去看看他是不是在甲板房吗 凯蒂 Can you go and see if he's in the deckhouse, please, Katie?
你是说"小棚屋"吗 Do you mean "the shed"?
再从冰箱里拿点香肠卷来 And can you bring me in some of those sausage rolls from the freezer.
我可不希望准备少了 I DON'T want to be caught short.
好了 盘子 餐巾 卡洛的薯片 Right. The plates, napkins, crisps for Carol...
不 不行 No, that's not right.
吓到你了吧 That got you, didn't it?!
你他妈在干什么啊 What the bloody hell are you doing?
你最好没有在桌上切开个洞 You'd better not have cut a hole in that table!
不是 我把中间的桌板拿掉了 No, the middle leaf slides out.
怎么样 So!
你觉得如何 What do you think?
什么如何 About what?
等帕特带你妈妈来时 我就躲在下面 I'm going to be under there when Pat arrives with your mother.
你让他把蛋糕拿开 我就吓尿他 You get him to move the cake, he'll get the shock of his life!
为什么啊 Why?
拜托 安吉拉 你知道他什么德性 Oh, come on, Angela. You know what he's like.
他在楼下马桶上铺了层保鲜膜时你都气炸了 You were furious when he put clingfilm over the downstairs toilet.
对了 还有那次 Yeah, and what about the time
他在鸟水盆里放墙纸浆糊呢 he put wallpaper paste in the birdbath?
别说了 我还记得那只独脚小鸟的样子 Oh, don't. I still see that one-legged tit.
就是啊 该以其人之道还治其人之身 Exactly. He needs a taste of his own medicine.
别在我妈生日上 But not on my mother's birthday!
你另找时间整他吧 You can do it in your own time.
这下我们怎么弄蛋糕啊 And what are we going to do for a cake, now?
他觉得我没有幽默感 He thinks I haven't got a sense of humour.
他的智商无法与我匹敌 He's unable to engage with me on an intellectual level,
就只好拿幼稚的恶作剧整我 so he has to resort to puerile practical jokes.
你刚刚在我第二好的桌布上割了个洞 Well, you've just cut a hole in my second-best table cloth,
看来是我被整了 so I think the joke's on me.
他们什么时候到 What time are they arriving?
随时了 你能把流苏整理整齐吗 Any minute. Can you just please...straighten those tassels?
真是把我逼疯了 They are literally driving me mad.
我不满意 吉姆 I'm not happy about this, Jim.
帕特的烦心事够多了 Pat's got enough on his plate without you
你还要扮贾斯丁·比伯 turning into Justin Bieber!
谁 Who?
就是那个大胡子的小个子 总拿人开涮 You know, the little man with the beard, plays tricks on people.
杰里米·比多吗 Jeremy Beadle?
不管是谁 Well, whoever it was...
帕特得操心卡洛的情况呢 Pat's got the "Carol situation" to think about.
情况怎么样了 还是很糟糕吗 What's happening with that now? Is it still bad?
更糟了 It's worse.
据帕特说 According to Pat,
大早上9:30就往咖啡杯里倒白葡萄酒 it's white wine in a coffee mug at 9.30 in the morning, apparently.
不过 如果我嫁给了帕特 Mind you, if I were married to Pat,
大概也会被逼得想酗酒 I think I'd be driven to drink...
你一定不能点蜡烛 安吉 Now, it's important you don't light the candles, Ange.
外面都是糖霜 The exterior is all sugar-paste icing,
但下面是纸板的 but it's just cardboard underneath.
可别让我变成圣女贞德了 I don't want to end up as Joan of Arc.
别跟我说 我才不参与呢 Don't tell me. I'm not getting involved.
拜托 安吉拉 Oh, come on, Angela!
你总说我无聊 没有幽默感 You're always saying I'm boring, I've got no sense of humour...
你们非得这样吗 我回房间了 Oh, do you have to? I'm going to my room.
你能不能友好一点 就当为了我妈妈 Could you just...try and be nice? Just for my mother's sake?
我一向很友好啊 我只是想报复一下 I'm always nice. I just want my revenge.
天呐 他们来了 我还有好多事没做 My God, they're here. I've got one marigold inside out!
我要做什么来着 What am I supposed to do again?
让帕特搬开蛋糕 Just get Pat to move the cake.
别让他给手机充电 And don't let him plug in his mobile phone.
他总想偷我们家的电 All he ever wants to do is steal our electricity.
你好啊 生日快乐 妈妈 进来吧 Hello! Happy birthday, Mum. Come in.
-我得先去撒个尿 这边吗 -是的 - I need to spend a penny first. Is it this one? - Yeah...
这次不用上锁 妈妈 And you've no need to lock it this time, Mum.
她一进去就舍不得出来了 你好啊 卡洛 We'll never get her out now. Hiya, Carol.
你好 你好吗 Hiya, love. You all right?
衣服不错啊 Well, this is nice.
新款潮衣 别告诉帕特 Oh, catalogue. Don't tell Pat.
-抱歉 我听到了 -你好啊 帕特 - I heard that, pardon. - Hiya, Pat.
我曾经是一只狼人 不过现在没事了 I used to be a werewolf, but I'm all right nooooowwww!
还有什么要帮忙拿的吗 Do you need a hand with anything?
没了 我就带了一个包 和我老婆卡洛 No, I've only got the one bag, you've met my wife Carol.
把面具摘掉 你这白痴 Take that mask off, you daft sod.
你先摘掉你的 You take yours off first.
-谢谢 -谢谢 - Thanking you. - Thank you!
好了 请进吧 Right, please go through.
你收拾得可真漂亮啊 安吉 Aw, you've got it lovely, Ange.
-脱鞋 -为什么 - Take your shoes off! - Why?
你还记得上次 Do you remember last time,
你带着一脚的泥进来吗 她都抓狂了 when you shuffled all that muck in? She went mad.
那是他们自己的错 Well, it's their own fault.
除了艾尔顿·约翰 现在谁还用白地毯啊 Who has a white carpet now, except for Elton John?
好了 请不要拘束 Right, make yourselves at home.
抱歉 我告诉过他要脱鞋子的 Sorry, I've told him to take his shoes off.
不用了 虽然我刚刚才...捋直过 Oh, there's no need. Although I might just, er, straighten the...
好了 要喝点什么吗 There... Right, what can I get you to drink?
她要喝茶 对吗 Er, she'll have a tea, won't you?
我自己会说 I can answer for myself!
没错 给我来杯茶 Yeah, I'll have tea.
你也自带茶叶了是吗 帕特 And you've got your own, Pat?
是的 可以的话 我把它放冰箱里吧 Yes, I'll pop them in the fridge, if I may?
吉宝在哪 Where's Jimbo?
他在附近什么地方 Oh, he's around somewhere.
可能在甲板房吧 Deckhouse, probably.
在看《倒数》精选集吗 Countdown omnibus?
谁知道呢 Who knows?
好了 我们只要等妈妈从厕所里出来 Right, well, we'll just wait for mother to come out of the loo
然后我们就切蛋糕 好吗 and then we'll do the cake, all right?
先等她解决了再说吧 Oh, well, let her get settled first, eh?
凯蒂不在吗 Is Katie not here?
不 不在 她在楼上写作业呢 No, no, she's up in her room doing her homework.
给她买了平板[药片]后 就经常见不到人了 We hardly see her since we got her that tablet.
听见了吗 帕特 他们给她买平板[药片] Oh, did you hear that, Pat? They got her a tablet.
这么小就吃避孕药了吗 Bit young to be on the pill, isn't she?
那是一种电脑设备 It's a computer device.
他...他知道是什么 No, he... he knows what it is.
好了 冲不了了 厕所里冲不了水了 Right! It's not flushed. I can't make it flush.
按一下就行了 上次我给你演示过了啊 Well, you push it. I showed you last time.
我按了 没反应 I did push it, nothing happened.
没关系 妈妈 我去吧 It's all right, Mum, I'll do it.
给 拿上这个 Here, take this.
别那么讨厌 Don't be horrible!
至少你没有又拿锡纸盖上 At least you didn't put that tinfoil over it again!
是保鲜膜 Clingfilm!
你的马桶席垫后来怎么样了 安吉拉 Did your pedestal mat come out all right, Angela?
我们扔掉了 没事 过来吧 妈妈 We disposed of it, it's fine. Come through, Mother.
■
翻译
草草
红枫
草草
红枫
小饭要穷游
小逗比
小饭要穷游
小逗比
时间轴
加森
时间轴
校对
小逗比_美梦先生
后期
加森
总监
实习医生格蕾
你还在节食吗 帕特 You still on that diet, Pat?
是的 我在进行"海鲜节食法" Yes, I'm on a seafood diet.
就是"海吃"看到的一切食物 If I see food, I eat it!
反正沙拉还有很多 Well, there's plenty of salady stuff, anyway.
安吉拉 看看他送我的这张卡片 太有趣了 Oh, Angela, read this card that he got for me, it's a scream!
介意我给手机充一小时的电吗 安吉 You mind if I charge my phone for an hour, Ange?
-电量不足了 -不 当然不介意 - Running a bit low. - No, of course not.
插孔在这下面 是吗 Down here, is it?
不 不是 稍等 我拿到这边来充 帕特 Oh, no, no, just a minute. I'll put it in up here, Pat.
"忘记过去吧 你无法改变 "Forget about the past, you can't change it.
忘记未来吧 你无法预测 Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
忘记当下[礼物]吧 我没有给你准备" Forget about the present, I didn't get you one."
是不是很有趣 Isn't that a scream?
奥马克先生亲笔书写 Courtesy of Mr H Allmark!
Hallmark--品质证明
你听见了吗 安吉拉 Did you hear it, Angela?
听见了 妈妈 确实...很好笑 Yes, Mother, it's...very funny.
我们拿开蛋糕腾点空间吧 帕特 Well, shall we move this cake and make some room, Pat?
你来吗 Could you?
等一等 我想给食物拍张照 Wait a minute, I want to take a picture of the spread.
我告诉过你表姐安 我会让她看看的 I told your cousin Ann I'd show it to her.
我的相机哪去了 Now, where's me camera?
帕特 你看到我的相机了吗 Pat, have you seen my camera?
在车里 麦琪 我马上回来 It's in the car, Maggie, I'll be back in two shakes.
别去太久 Don't be long!
你用太多纸了 妈妈 不过好了 已经冲走了 You used too much paper, Mum. It's all right, it's gone now.
谢谢你 卡洛 亲爱的 Oh, thanks Carol, love.
来看看安吉拉都准备了些什么菜吧 Come and have a look at our Angela's spread.
她还做了虾环 She's done a prawn ring.
是啊 现在很便宜就能买到 对吗 Aw, yeah. You can get them quite cheap now, can't you?
其实都是玛莎百货买的 It's all Marks's, actually.
只有火腿是我从本地配料商那里买的 Apart from the ham, which I got from the local batchers.
从哪里 From the what?
从配料商那 From the batchers.
"配料商" "配料商"是什么 The "Batchers"? What's the "Batchers"?
别管她 我就喜欢她说很潮的话 Leave her alone. I like her talking posh.
那不是潮 妈妈 是得体 It's not posh, Mother, it's proper!
我们不"得体" 妈妈 Oh, heh! We're not "Proper", Mum!
我希望我两个女儿都能说话得体 I wanted BOTH my girls to talk nice!
所以我才送你们去上口音培训课程 That's why I sent you for electrocution lessons.
你也该说"配料商" 卡洛 You should say "Batcher", Carol.
那样才能出人头地 That's how you get on!
好吧 那接下来要怎么样 Oh, right. So what are we having for afters,
说"夏沫补丁"吗 "Sammer padding"?
对了 我做了一点松软蛋糕 Well, I did make a trifle,
但里面放了不少雪莉酒 所以... but it's got quite a bit of Sherry in it, so...
水开了 Kettle's boiled.
我来帮你 I'll give you a hand.
玛莎百货买的不错啊 是吗 安吉拉 Marks's is dear, though, isn't it, Angela?
卖的胡萝卜还去皮了 They sell carrots peeled.
下去 Get down!
天呐 Oh, Jesus Christ!
拿来了 麦琪·梅 准备好拍特写了吗 Here we go, Maggie May. You ready for your close-up?
是的 来吧 全拍进去 Oh, yeah, go on. Get the spread in!
肉坏了发臭吧 Oof, that meat's off.
不会的 那是从"配料商"那买来的鲜肉 No, it's fresh from the "Batchers".
对了 等一下 妈妈 我先把蜡烛点上 Right, hang on a minute, Mam, let me get them candles lit.
不要 No!
不 先别点 吉姆也想看呢 No, don't...don't do it yet. Jim'll want to see it.
他不会介意的 蜡烛还可以再点啊 Oh, he won't mind. You can always light them again.
相机上有拍蜡烛的特别模式 There's a special setting on here for candles.
快点 大家都围过来吧 Come on, then, everyone bunch in!
我希望我的两个女儿都过来 I want both my daughters.
三代同堂 Three generations.
你家凯蒂在哪儿呢 Ooh, where's your Katie?
她在楼上做作业 快拍吧 帕特 She's upstairs doing her homework. Just take it, Pat.
他们给她卖了台平板 They've got her a tablet.
-什么 -一台电脑 她14岁了 - A what? - A computer. She's 14.
安吉拉 14岁的孩子要什么电脑 Oh, Angela, they don't need computers at 14!
如果想进牛津圣凯瑟琳学院就需要 快拍吧 帕特 They do if they want to get into St Catherine's. Just take it, Pat.
好 说"茄子" Right, then, say, "Cheesy Wotsits!"
"茄子" Cheesy Wotsits!
外婆 生日快乐 Hi, Nana! Happy birthday!
凯蒂 你来啦 Katie, you're here!
快过来 我的女儿和孙女就都齐啦 Just get in this and then I'll have all my girls.
-你好啊 亲爱的 -你好 卡洛阿姨 - Hiya, darling! - Hi, Auntie Carol.
你好 帕特姨父 Hi, Uncle Pat.
天呐 这是谁呀 你长大了不少吧 Bloody hell, who's this? You've shot up, haven't you?
出落成大姑娘了 Proper little madam.
快点吧 我们快拍照片 Come on, then! Let's get this photo taken.
三代同堂 Three generations.
让我重新定焦一下 Just let me refocus...
快拍吧 大摄影师 快点 一二三... Come on, David Bailey, hurry up! One, two, three...
-等等 -怎么了 - Wait! - What?
我还没给凯蒂看贺卡呢 I didn't show Katie the card.
拍完再给她看吧 Oh, show her after, Mum!
不 我现在就想给她看 No, I want to show her now.
听我念 凯蒂 Listen to this, Katie.
忘了过去吧 因为你无法改变 "Forget about the past, you can't change it."
我们能不能 Can we just...
忘了未来吧 因为你无法预料 "Forget about the future, you can't predict it."
妈妈 拍好再念啊 Mother, you can do that in a minute!
忘了当下[礼物]吧 因为我没给你准备 "Forget about the present, I didn't get you one."
把你逗乐了吧 Tickled you that, hasn't it?
是啊 真不知道他怎么想出来的 Oh, it has! And I don't know where he gets them from.
-奥马克先生 -的确很搞笑 外婆 - Mr H Allmark. - Well, it's funny, Nana.
你能快点把该死的蜡烛吹灭吗 Can you just blow the bloody candles out?!
等等 我要许个愿 Oh, hang on! I have to make my wish.
妈 这是外婆的蛋糕 Mum! It's Nana's cake!
她剥夺了我的愿望 She took my wish!
帕特 你现在能端蛋糕吗 Pat, could you move the cake now, please?
不好 没电了 Ah, no, battery's ran out.
我马上去车里拿充电器 I'll just nip and get the charger from the car.
你不介意吧 安吉 You don't mind, do you, Ange?
-你可以插在你的手机旁边啊 -谢啦 - No, you can plug it in next to your mobile. - Thanking you!
我得去做作业了 外婆 所以.... Well, erm, I've got to get on with my homework now, Nana, so...
好吧 我也得去一趟厕所 补充点能量 Right, well, er, I'll just nip to the loo, top myself up.
我的包呢 Where's my bag?
凯蒂 跟我说说平板的事吧 是电脑吗 Katie, tell me about this tablet. Is it a computer?
我一天得吃23片药 试想一下 I have 23 tablets a day, imagine that!
刚刚进展得可真"顺利"啊 Well, that went well, didn't it?
就这么点吗 很薄啊 Is this all of it? Mm, it's thin.
有磁性吗 Is it magnetic?
话说 我给你妈买过这种的 You know, I bought your mum one of these.
把铁屑拨到人的脸上 You had to drag iron filings onto a man's face
就会出现小胡子和好玩的发型 and make little beards and funny hair.
-你这个可以吗 -不知道 - Can yours do that? - I don't know.
她的可以 没什么新鲜的 Hers did. There's nothing new.
你可以用这个玩游戏 外婆 你看 Heh, well, you can play games on it as well, Nana, look.
颜色真好看 Oh, lovely colours!
你好啊 这里是公主殿吗 Hello, is this the Princess Palace?
不是吧 你把它们都撕掉了 Oh, no! You've taken them all down!
以前墙上全是公主不是吗 Oh, you used to have all the princesses, didn't you?!
白雪公主 灰姑娘 Oh, Snow White, Cinderella,
那个中国的 叫什么来着 不是小眼娃娃 the Chinese one, what was she called now, not Chinkerbell...
卡洛阿姨 你不能那么说 Auntie Carol! You can't say that.
我知道 但她不算真的公主 只是个仙女 Yeah, I know, cos she wasn't a proper princess, she was a fairy!
我一直在想呢 I've always thought it.
他们总想着把这些组合起来 就是为了骗钱 They try and bundle them all together. It's a rip-off.
那么...来你房间里嗨啊 So... party in your room, is it?
我得做作业了 ..I've got to get on with my homework.
总有时间做作业的 凯蒂 今天是你外婆生日啊 Oh, there's time for work, Katie. It's your nana's birthday!
我在我的岛上修了一条路 不知道为什么 I'm building a path on my island. I don't know why!
你知道你有什么问题吗 你太像你爸了 You know your problem? You're like your dad.
脑子里装了太多东西 Too much in your head.
外面还有大好的世界呢 凯蒂 Oh, there's a whole world out there, Katie!
玩得开心点 一辈子过得很快的 Just...just have fun, because it goes by so fast.
让我帮你做指甲好吗 Will you let me do your nails, please?
我得做我的数学作业了 I've just got to get on with my maths.
我告诉你什么叫数学 I'll tell you "Maths", shall I?
别人从你身边夺走后 你就一无所有了 One takes away from one, and you're left with nothing.
你觉得我能当一个好母亲吗 凯蒂 Do you think I'd make a good mum, Katie?
说实话 Be honest.
能啊 Yeah.
没错 Correct!
好了 我要去厕所了 Right, I'm going toilet.
我给你看过这个了吗 Hey, have I shown you this?
我的防晒油 This is my block.
轻轻涂抹 保护24小时 "Apply liberally for 24-hour protection."
你听不懂 我懂 You won't get that. I do.
玩得开心吧 Just have fun.
我要怎么返回主菜单 凯蒂 Now, how do I get back to main menu, Katie?
我想进攻那座村庄 I want to attack that village!
我觉得算了吧 吉姆 没用了 现在太迟了 I think just leave it now, Jim. It didn't work. It's too late.
不会太迟 It's not too late.
你到下面去 我来让他端走蛋糕 You get under there and I'll get him to move the cake.
-我才不干 -快点 他马上就回来了 - I'm not doing it! - Come on, he'll be back soon.
-吉姆 这样做值吗 -当然了 - Oh, Jim, is it worth it? - Yes!
只是逗人一笑好吗 快到桌子底下去 It's just a laugh, OK? Now, get under the table.
快点啊 我还有24条香肠卷要加热呢 Make it quick! I've got 24 sausage rolls to warm through.
这家伙在这儿呢 你好吗吉宝 Here he is, the man himself! How are you, Jimbo?
我很好 谢谢 帕特 I'm all right, thanks, Pat.
安吉拉刚去拿蜡烛了 Angela's just nipped out to get some more candles.
我没看见她啊 没碰到我啊 I didn't see her. She didn't come past me.
不是 她从后门走的 从花园绕过去的 No, she went out the back and through the gardens.
那样要稍微快点 It's slightly quicker.
安吉拉近来怎么样 我觉得她看上去有点累 How is Angela these days? I thought she looked a bit tired.
眼睛有点肿 脸色有点苍白 You know, a little bit puffy-eyed and pale.
她还好啦 你也知道她这个人 She's all right. You know what she's like.
她整天都会找各种事情做 She's always got some project on the go.
是啊 我真希望卡洛也像这样 Yes. I just wish Carol was like that.
卡洛近来怎么样 How is Carol these days?
还好 还好 就是要给她找点事做 Fine, fine. Just need to get her a little job.
-她的状态已经可以了 -很好 很好 - She's ready now. - Good. Good.
你能帮我把蛋糕移开一下吗 帕特 Do you want to give me a hand moving this cake, Pat?
-我想多腾出点空间 -好的 - I just want to make some more room. - Righty-ho.
别待会儿忘了 Oh, before I forget,
我把你借我的那个《倒数》录像带拿过来了 I've got that Countdown video you lent me.
不用管那个啊 Don't worry about it.
不不 你肯定很想拿回去的 No, no, I'm sure you'll want it back.
我这就去拿过来 I'll just pop and get it.
吉姆 什么情况这是 Jim? What's going on?
没什么 他很快就会回来的 Nothing, he's just... He'll be back soon.
他去哪儿了啊 我脖子都僵了 Where's he going? I'm starting to get a stiff neck!
好了 或许我们不该玩下去了 All right. Well, maybe we should leave it, then.
你想... Do you want to...?
拿到了 我觉得这集非常精彩 Here we go. Yes, quite a decent episode, I thought.
-发生了很多事 -说实话 我已经不记得了 - A lot happens. - I can't remember, to be honest.
总共有3个小故事 Well, there are three scenarios.
第一个是个金发女郎 该怎么描述呢 The first one involves a blonde lady taking, shall we say,
-上面有两个伺候 下面有一个 -帕特 - two from the top and one in the bottom... - Pat!
我来给你拿杯喝的吧 Let me get you a drink.
你开了那么久的车一定渴了吧 You must be thirsty after that long drive.
朗克罗夫特那边还在修路吗 Have they still got those roadworks up at Long Croft?
没有 现在已经转去修艾希大道了 No, they've moved onto Ash Lane now.
路上有一些临时交通信号灯 There's temporary traffic lights,
除非你是接送孩子上下学 否则也不算太糟 but unless you're doing the school run, it's not too bad.
你放弃了A352大道的乐趣吗 So did you forgo the pleasures of the A352?
是啊 我现在喜欢走默多班克那条捷径 Yes, I tend to take that cut-through on Meadowbank now.
-那条路要安静些 -挺好 挺好 - It's always quieter. - Ah, good. Good.
对了 这个蛋糕... So, about this cake...
你能帮我移一下吗 挺重的 If you could give me a hand, it is quite heavy.
可别把这东西随便乱放 吉姆 Don't be leaving this lying around, Jim.
你可不希望凯蒂不小心播放了看的 Wouldn't want Katie putting it on by accident.
不 我这就来放到安全的地方去 No, I'll, er... I'll just put it somewhere safe.
我也跟你一样 吉姆 You see, I'm like you, Jim -
我无法接受在电脑上观看重口味色情片 I can't watch hard-core pornography on a computer.
我只喜欢老式的卡带色情片 Give me an old-fashioned video cassette any day of the week.
好吧 Oh. Well, good for you.
我尤其喜欢这周的那部 I particularly enjoyed this week's conundrum.
如果你不介意 我想借来再看一遍 I might be returning to have another go at that one, if you don't mind.
不懂你什么意思 Don't know what you mean.
《霹雳淫娃》 由一夜七次郎 Charlie's Anals, starring Farrah Forced-It,
凯蒂·飞机妹 杰奎琳·大阴蒂主演 Katy Jacked-Off and Jaclyn Clit.
他们是怎么想出这么绝的名字的啊 Where do they come up with these names, I ask you?!
我... Well, I, er...
天啊 你们两个在聊些什么呢 Oh, God. What are you two talking about?
他烦到你了吗 吉姆 Is he boring you, Jim?
没有 我们只是在讨论《倒数》的某一集 No, we were just, er, discussing an episode of Countdown.
好累啊 Oh, weary.
放点音乐吧 给这屋子里增加点活力 Oh, let's get some music on, get some life into this house!
安吉拉去哪儿了 Where's our Angela?
她刚刚出去多拿些蜡烛来了 Oh, she just nipped out to get some more candles.
外面这么冷 不需要涂防晒油吧 卡洛 It's a bit cold outside for sun cream, isn't it, Carol?
我给你倒杯水提提神吧 Let me get you a nice refreshing glass of Adam's Ale.
滚蛋 别来烦我 你这肥猪 Piss off and leave me alone, you fat pig.
如你所愿 As you wish.
天啊 这什么音乐这么烂啊 Oh, God, what the hell is this terrible music?
是埃尼欧·莫里科内的 卡洛 《传教》 It's Ennio Morricone, Carol. The Mission.
哎呀 那是我最爱的体位[传教士体位] Ooh, my favourite position.
你家凯蒂的房间真不错 对吧 Your Katie's got a nice room, hasn't she?
是啊 东西都是她自己挑的 Yes, she picked it all out herself.
她很清楚自己的口味 She knows her own taste.
她的卧室比我的还漂亮呢 She's got a better bedroom than me.
真够讽刺的 对吧 那首歌谁唱的来着 That's ironical, isn't it? Who sang that?
*真讽刺啊...* *It's ironical...*
我不知道 I don't know.
她的床可真大真美 She's got a lovely big bed.
或许我们可以挑个下午去上面滚一下 Maybe we could christen it one afternoon?
那样很好 不是吗 That'd be nice, wouldn't it?
来吧 宝贝 来喝几口这个吧 Come on, my angel, have a few sips on this.
-来嘛吉姆 跟我跳舞吧 -不要 - Come on, Jim, dance with me! - No!
不行 或许我该走了 No, I think perhaps I should go
把香肠卷放进炉子里 and put the sausage rolls in the oven.
是啊 快把你的"香肠"放进来 Yeah, I wish you would.
来吧 卡洛 Come on, Carol.
去死吧 Drop dead.
我去 拿条毛巾 I'll just, erm... go and fetch a towel.
-我想告诉他 吉姆 -什么 - I want to tell him, Jim. - What?!
我想告诉帕特还有那个 安吉拉 I want to tell Pat and whatsit... Angela.
卡洛 闭嘴 你为什么要说这些啊 Carol, shush! Why are you saying all this?
因为你多年来对我做了各种承诺 Because you've made promises to me over the years!
-多年 你在胡说什么 -我今天就想说出来 - Years? What are you talking...?! - No, I want them told today.
我到这里来 看着她拥有的完美生活 It's humiliating for me to have to come round here
真的让我觉得很丢脸 and see all what she's got.
你为什么还跟她在一起呢 吉姆 Why are you still with her, Jim?
你曾经跟我说过你早就受不了她了 You told me you couldn't stand the sight of her.
不 不是这样的 安吉 No, that's not true, Ange.
我真希望这是我家 Oh, I want this to be my house.
我希望这些菜肴是我的 I want this spread to be my spread.
我要你把你的"大香肠"放进我温热的"炉子"里 I want you to put your sausage rolls in my oven - fan assisted.
把包装都拆掉 15分钟后翻一下 Please discard all packaging, turn over after 15 minutes
到时冒出来的是清澈的油 我摸到的是"鸡"吗 when the juices run clear... or is that a chicken?
住手 Stop it!
我等了你好多年 吉姆 I waited for you, Jim.
-你曾答应跟我生孩子的 -卡洛 别说了 - You promised me a baby. - Carol, stop it!
凯蒂 你知道你将来的妹妹会叫什么名字吗 Katie, do you want to know what your sister's name was going to be?
别听她的 她喝多了 Don't listen to her, she's drunk!
我爱你 I love you.
等我80岁时 你们也要买这个给我当生日礼物 Oh, you'll have to get one of these for my 80th!
你好 吉姆 你还好吧 Hello, Jim, love. Are you all right?
当然了 生日快乐 麦琪 Yes. Happy birthday, Maggie.
你好啊 凯蒂 Hello, Katie.
她在这儿啊 凯蒂 快来跟我跳舞 Aw, here she is. Katie, come and dance with me.
安吉拉在哪儿 我想给她看看我建了个居留地 Where's Angela? I want to show her that I built a settlement.
她很快就会来的 出去有点事了 Oh, she won't be long. She's just running an errand.
猪和其他东西都有哦 It's got pigs and everything.
我想喝杯东西 吉姆 I think I'd like a drink now, Jim.
能给我一杯金汤力吗 Can I have a gin and tonic, please?
好的 你想加冰吗 Yes, right. Do you want ice?
-要 不过可别放小鸡鸡在里面哦 -什么 - Yes, but don't be putting willies in it. - What?
帕特家里有很多做成小鸡鸡形状的冰块 Pat has these ice cubes at his house in the shape of willies.
你把水倒进模板里 放进冰箱 You fill the tray with water, put it in the freezer,
就能做出24个小鸡鸡形状的冰块了 and out comes 24 little ice willies.
超好笑的 对吧 卡洛 It's comical. Isn't it, Carol?
我刚跟吉姆说了帕特的小鸡鸡 I'm just telling Jim about Pat's willies.
我可不知道 我已经几年没见过了 I wouldn't know, I haven't seen it in years.
他总是藏得严严的 He keeps it hid.
我也想要杯"吉汤力" 金 I'll have a Jim and tonic if you're making one, Gin.
你想来一杯吗 凯蒂 Do you want one, Katie?
不喝 我还得完成数学作业 No, I've got to finish my maths.
凯蒂 学会享受啊 Oh, Katie, live!
趁年轻好好享受啊 别让青春就这么过去了 Live while you're still young! Don't let it pass you by.
给 麦琪 Here you go, Maggie.
谢谢 Thank you.
好了 卡洛 Come on, Carol.
我觉得你该去躺下睡一会儿了 I think you should go and have a lie down.
你听见了吗 凯蒂 Did you hear that, Katie?
你爸想把我弄上床呢 Your dad's trying to get me into bed.
你对此有何感想 What do you think about that?
-行了 够了 -别碰我 - Right, that's enough! - Don't you touch me!
我要和凯蒂增强感情 I'm bonding with Katie.
-我有可能成为她的继母呢 -什么 - If I'm going to be her stepmum... - What?!
天啊 卡洛 闭上你的臭嘴 For God's sake, Carol, shut your mouth!
别那样跟她说话 吉姆 Don't talk to her like that, Jim.
来吧 卡洛 亲爱的 Come on, Carol, love.
你把我的妆都毁了 Oh, you've ruined my make-up now.
我真不明白我为什么还要化妆 I don't know why I bothered!
我不知道她是怎么了 I don't know what's got into her.
没事的 吉姆 一切都在掌控之中 It's all right, Jim, it's all under control.
-她突然就开始咆哮爆发 -吉姆 - She just started ranting and raving... - Jim.
我知道 I know.
好吗 All right?
我知道 I know.
知道什么 Know what?
他在说些什么呢 What's he talking about?
妈妈哪儿去了 Where's Mum?
-她... -好了 我要许愿了 - She just... - Right, everyone, I am making my wish.
-不要 -我想要个平板电脑 - No! - I want a tablet!
安吉拉 Angela!
搞什么啊 What?
我就出去了5分钟 家里就乱成一锅粥 I nip out for five minutes, all hell breaks loose.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
我很抱歉我搞砸了你的恶作剧 吉姆 I'm sorry I spoilt your trick, Jim,
我实在受不了蹲在那桌子下了 I just couldn't stay under there any longer.
我的膝盖都要疼死了 My knees were killing me.
没事 反正那也是个愚蠢的想法 Oh, it's all right. It was a stupid idea anyway.
我去给妈妈买了个真正的蛋糕 I went and got Mum a proper cake.
之前你和帕特在厨房时 我偷偷出去了 I nipped out when you and Pat were in the kitchen.
那你错过了各种闹剧啊 Ah, so you missed all the drama, then?
-什么啊 发生什么事了 -没什么 - Why, what's been happening? - Oh, nothing.
就是你妹妹又发疯了 Just your sister acting up again.
妈 Mum?
我真的需要跟你谈谈 I really need to speak to you.
怎么了 发生什么事了 Why, what's going on?
外婆 Nana?
她噎住了 She's choking!
妈 你给她吃了什么啊 Mother, what...? What have you given her?!
就金汤力啊 Gin and tonic!
是冰块的原因 It's the ice!
如果她是被你的小鸡鸡噎到了... If she's choking on one of your willies...!
快吐出来 妈 Come on, Mother.
是蜘蛛 我在里面放了蜘蛛 瞧 It's spiders. I put spiders in them, look!
你个蠢货 快叫救护车 Bloody idiot! Call an ambulance!
-外婆 -凯蒂 你卡洛阿姨喝醉了 - Nana? - Katie, your Auntie Carol's a little bit drunk.
-别在意她说的话 -什么 - Don't pay her any mind. - What?
我的手机呢 我的手机哪儿去了 Where's my phone? Where's my phone?!
帕特里克 你把那肥皂怎么了 Patrick! What have you done with this bloody soap?
拜托了 凯蒂 你妈不会理解的 Please, Katie, your mother wouldn't understand.
加油 妈妈 快吐出来 Come on, Mother, cough it up!
肯定是医务人员来了 That'll be the ambulance.
快啊 凯蒂 放他们进来 Go on, Katie, let them in.
我们没有叫救护车啊 We didn't call an ambulance...
你还好吗 别离开我 别丢下我 You all right? Don't leave me. Don't you leave me.
拜托了 我们需要帮助 求求你了 Please! We need help! Please!
好了 哪位是麦琪 Right, which one of you's Maggie?
这位 Here.
好了 请大家靠后 Right, stand back, everyone.
帕特 这是你安排的吗 Pat! Is this you?
生日快乐 麦琪 Happy birthday, Maggie.
真是疯狂的一天 Oh, well, what a day.
不知道我80岁生日时 你们会为我安排怎样的惊喜 I don't know what you're going to do for my 80th!
是啊 再看吧 Yes. We'll have to see.
我打算留下这个蜘蛛作纪念 I'm going to keep this spider.
我的幸运符 My lucky charm.
安吉拉去哪儿了 Where did our Angela get to?
她在楼上和凯蒂在一起 She's upstairs with Katie.
不知道她们在聊些什么 I don't know what they're talking about.
你觉得帕特会平安无事吗 Do you think Pat'll be all right?
是啊 有卡洛照顾着他呢 Yeah. He's got Carol to look after him.
是啊 他们真是恩爱的夫妻 对吧 Yeah. They're a grand couple, aren't they?
他们为我安排了那个脱衣舞男 可真贴心 Nice of him to have booked that lad for me.
他之前还说不会给我准备礼物的呢 He said he wasn't going to get me a present.
那倒是提醒了我 Oh, that reminds me.
我还没把这张贺卡读给你听呢 对吧 I didn't read his card to you, did I?
听好了 Listen to this.
"忘记过去吧 你无法改变 "Forget about the past, you can't change it.
忘记未来吧 你无法预测 Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
忘记当下[礼物]吧 我没有给你准备" Forget about the present, I didn't get you one."
是不是很有趣 Isn't that a scream?
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