9号秘事 第二季 第六集 本季终
降神会
请这边走 谢谢你这么准时 This way, please. Thank you for being prompt.
塔波特太太不喜欢迟到的人 Madam Talbot doesn't enjoy latecomers.
谢谢 抱歉 Thanks. Sorry.
我能问问你是做什么工作的吗 Erm, what is it you do, if I may ask?
我在手机店工作 I work in a phone shop.
从一种沟通到另一种"沟通"啊 Ah, from one line of communication to another.
我想问问你 以前是否有过"联系" Er, may I ask, have you ever made contact before?
在手机店吗 At the phone shop?
通过灵媒 Through mediumship.
抱歉 我有点紧张 Oh sorry. I'm a bit nervous.
没有 我姐姐推荐了塔波特太太 No, my sister recommended Miss... Madam Talbot
但我从未做过这种事 but I've never been to anything like this before.
我来帮你拿外套吧 Let me take your coat.
要喝杯水吗 Would you care for a glass of water?
不用 谢谢 No, I'm fine, thank you.
请坐 Please take a seat.
麻烦如果你有手机 May I request if you do have a mobile telephone
请现在关机 you switch it off now.
我去告诉塔波特太太你准备好了 And I will tell Madam Talbot that you're ready.
■
翻译
草草
红枫
草草
红枫
小饭要穷游
小逗比
小饭要穷游
小逗比
时间轴
加森
时间轴
校对
小逗比_美梦先生
后期
鱼骨头
总监
实习博主小逗比
蒂娜 请站起来 Tina, please may you stand.
好的 抱歉 Yes, sorry.
请允许我介绍 塔波特太太 May I present... Madam Talbot.
你可以坐了 You may be seated.
你为何来此 孩子 Why have you come here, my child?
我姐姐失去丈夫后来见过你 My sister saw you after she lost her husband.
我最近并没有什么亲朋过世 但是... I haven't actually lost anyone recently but...
我明白 I understand.
好奇之人常常被吸引至此 想一窥夏日乐园 The curious are often drawn here, for a glimpse of Summerland.
夏日乐园是什么 What's Summerland?
问得好 是指太空 Good question. It means the astral plain.
看看有谁在那里等着你 Let us see who may be waiting for you there.
海夫斯 玛丽要入睡了 Hives, Mary is sleeping now.
都准备好了 All is ready.
我们牵起手来 Let us link hands.
抱歉 我手上都是汗 Sorry, sweaty palms.
让我们低下头 冥思 祈祷 Now, let us bow our heads in meditation and prayer.
如果今天有任何鬼魂在场 If there are indeed any astrals here today...
请现身 please let yourselves be known to us.
别断开手 蒂娜 它能保护我们 Do not break the circle, Tina. The circle is our protection.
谁召唤我 Who calls?
请迁就我们这些凡人 Please indulge us here on this earthly plain.
敢问阁下尊姓大名 May we ask your name?
天呐 我不喜欢这样 Oh, God, I don't like it!
继续看 蒂娜 你叫什么名字 Keep looking, Tina. What is your name?
在座的人有你认识的吗 Is there anyone amongst us here known to you?
蒂娜 Tina!
我靠 Oh, shit.
跟它说话 蒂娜 问它是谁 Talk to it, Tina. Ask it who it is.
-我不想 -你必须 - I don't want to. - You must!
你是谁 Who are you?
我好痛苦 蒂娜 救救我 I am in pain, Tina. Help me.
你要我做什么 What do you want me to do?
我会来找你 I will come to you...
-我不喜欢 我不喜欢 -我来了 - I don't like it! I don't like it! - I'm here!
-不要 -蒂娜 - No! - Tina.
不要断开手 蒂娜 Do not break the circle, Tina!
-蒂娜 你得制止它 -我做不到 - Tina, you have to stop it! - I can't!
你必须 You have to!
我不知道该怎么做 I don't know how!
-只有一个办法 -怎么做 - There's only one way! - How?
冲镜头笑笑 说 By smiling at the camera and saying,
嗨 我上《惊恐之态》节目了 "Hi, I'm on Scaredy Cam!"
什么 What?
天呐 是你 Oh, my God. It's you.
没错 看那边 That's right. Look through there.
挥挥手 Give us a wave
说 嗨 我上《惊恐之态》节目了 and say, "Hi, I'm on Scaredy Cam!"
我以前可喜欢这节目了 难以置信 I used to be such a massive fan. I can't believe...
快说啊 Just say it.
嗨 我叫蒂娜 我上《惊恐之态》节目了 Hi, my name's Tina and I'm on Scaredy Cam!"
好了 泰瑞 谢谢 All right, we got that, Terry, thanks.
约翰 10分2秒是不是说了句"我靠" John, did you hear we had a "shit" at 10.02?
这个能蒙混过去吗 Do you think we can get away with that?
一个"我靠"顶俩"该死" 可以吧 Shit for two bloodies. Seems fair enough.
谢谢 好了 Thank you. Right.
泰瑞 顺便 'Oh, Terry, while you're there,
能拍下接第二部分的过渡桥段吗 can we get you to do the link 'into part two please?'
好的 给我拿杯凉的健怡可乐行吗 杰玛 Yeah, could I get a cold Diet Coke please, Gemma?
-好 -我也想要 杰玛 - 'Sure.' - I'd like a Diet Coke as well, please, Gemma.
我真能上电视吗 So, am I actually going to be on telly?
是的 你会被剪入蒙太奇片段 Yeah, you'll be part of a montage.
我们要拍好几次 拍下最好的反应 We do it a few times to get the best reactions.
太棒了 我以为他们取消这档节目了 Brilliant, cos I thought they cancelled it.
是取消了 但现在又复活了 They did, but it's back now.
-ITV电视台播吗 -不是 - On ITV? - No.
我准备好了 I'm ready.
好的 开机 Yeah, we're rolling.
稍后请继续收看 So, join us after the break
我们将盘点十大惊悚短片 and we'll be counting down our top ten terrors
届时将公布"最有趣惊悚短片"的投票结果 and we reveal which rank you voted as our funniest ever fright.
千万别走开 Don't you dare go away.
能请你别在我录像的时候走来走去吗 Could you not move around when I'm recording, please?
太让人分心了 还有留声机那里放着一只熊 Incredibly distracting. And there was a bear on the records.
拍下一场之前谁去把它拿开 Could someone shift it before we go again?
拍下一场前我得去看看安的情况 I'll need to do checks on Anne before we go again.
还有那个小...他叫什么来着 And the little... what is his name?
我也不清楚 Erm, I'm not sure.
我最喜欢的一集是你扮一只大猩猩 My favourite one was with you as the gorilla
里面还有个小孩 and there was a child.
我知道 我在场 那就是我演的 Yes, I know. I was there, I did it.
杰玛 你能... Gemma, could you...?
好的 抱歉 蒂娜 你能跟我来一下吗 Oh, yes, sorry. Tina, do you want to come through with me?
有几份授权协议书需要你签一下 Just get you to sign some release forms.
能给我弄点水吗 杰玛 Can I get a water please, Gemma?
-我渴死了 -好的 - I'm parched. - Sure.
亲爱的泰瑞 Terry darling,
你在说"让我们低头冥想 祈祷"那句之前 could you leave more of a gap before coming in
停留的时间能长一点吗 with the, "Let us bow our heads in meditation and prayer" bit?
我想再弄点呼吸沉重 精神恍惚的效果 I wanted to get on with the heavy breathing trancy stuff
我就是觉得之前有点太赶了 and I just felt it all got a bit trampled over.
好的 安 没问题 Yes, Anne, no problem.
只是一点小改动 It's only a beat,
但我觉得这样更有戏剧性 不是吗 but I think it's more dramatic, don't you?
当然 Absolutely.
就是个隐蔽偷拍节目 It's a hidden camera show,
又不是他妈的国家剧院 not the fucking National Theatre.
谁能给我拿个踏脚凳吗 And could someone bring me a foot stool, please?
我的脚踝肿了 My ankles are swelling.
你在拍戏的时候能别出那么多汗吗 Could you try doing it without maybe sweating quite so much?
里面真的很热啊 Well, it's very hot in there.
我真不明白为什么我非得涂成蓝色 I don't know why I have to be blue, anyway.
剧本就是这么写的 不是吗 It's just in the script, wasn't it?
蓝色的魔鬼侏儒 Blue Demon Dwarf.
指甲怎么样了 How's the nails?
掉了一片 我早说了会掉的 不是吗 Lost one. Said I would, didn't I?
这经常掉 Always happens.
我们得找到才行 这些都是特制的 Well, we'll have to find it, cos they're specially made.
话说 你经常演魔鬼吗 So, erm, do you play a lot of demons?
没有 为什么这么问 No, why do you say that?
不过 每个角色都很重要 不是吗 Well, anyway, a part's a part, isn't it?
不管你是在达灵顿演了三个月迪克·惠廷顿的猫 Doesn't matter if you're Dick Whittington's cat
还是演哈姆雷特都一样 in Darlington for three months or Hamlet.
你演过哈姆雷特吗 Have you played Hamlet?
没有 倒是想演 No. Love to.
-阿曼达 亲爱的 -怎么了 - Amanda, sweetie? - Yeah?
我想在开拍前先把美瞳摘下来 I need these contacts out before we go again.
我不能把眼睛弄红了 今晚还要上台呢 I can't have red eyes, I'm on stage tonight.
好的 抱歉 安 我去拿护理液 Yes, sorry, Anne. I'll go and fetch the solution.
继续按着 Keep pressing on that.
你现在还登台表演啊 安 So, are you treading the boards at the moment, Anne?
是的 Yes.
还顺利吗 Anything good?
-不太好 导演不行 -怎么回事 - Not really. Director's useless. - Hmm, what's wrong?
他是个酒鬼 亲爱的 跟废人一样 He's a drunk, darling, shits the bed.
好吧 Right.
我们当年拍《惠廷顿》时 导演也很难伺候 We had a tricky director on Whittington, actually.
他是形体表演剧院出身 He sort of came from more of a physical theatre background
所以他让我做了大量工作去了解猫的行为特征 and so made me do lots of character work about the cats
可我对猫过敏 所以... but I'm allergic so...
你能把那个恶心的家伙弄回箱子里去吗 Could you put the warm prop back in its box, please?
他让安很烦 It's pissing Anne off
我又会接到她经纪人的投诉电话了 and I'll be getting calls from her agent again.
-好的 马上去 -真不懂为什么老找侏儒来演 - Sure, one second. - I don't know why I keep booking dwarves,
他们总是让人很蛋疼 they're always a pain in the ass.
我觉得他不是侏儒吧 Er, I don't think he's a dwarf, is he?
当然是 你看看他 Course he is. Look at him.
上一节拍出来的效果怎么样 How did that last one look anyway?
-还可以吗 -挺好的 很搞笑 - Was it all right? - Good. It was funny.
-搞笑吗 -也很吓人 - Funny? - And scary.
那姑娘有点呆滞 对吧 The girl was a bit dead-eyed, wasn't she?
我见过有些死人都比她的反应要强烈 I've seen road kill with better reactions.
打扰一下 能帮我签个名吗 Sorry, would it be possible to get your autograph?
-好的 没问题 你叫什么名字 -蒂娜 - Yeah, course. No problem. What's your name? - Tina.
泰瑞 这十大惊悚短片里 Erm, Terry, with this top ten thing,
你仍打算把稻草人那集排第一位吗 do you still want the scarecrow one at number one?
是的 就这样 给 Yes, please. There you go.
可我看了网上的评论 Because I've been looking online
大家似乎更喜欢大猩猩那集 and people seem to love the gorilla one.
对 我也最喜欢那个 Yeah, that's my favourite.
那个小男孩 好好笑 With the little boy. It was so funny.
不要 我不想把那集排进前十 No, I don't want that one in the top ten.
他还尿裤子了 When he wet himself.
没错 当时是电视直播 我们现在也改变不了了 Yeah, well, it was live TV. We couldn't do anything about that.
可我在想 Cos I was thinking,
-我们可以找到那个男孩 把他找回来 -不行 - we could track the boy down, get him back. - No.
这是一次公投 就用我选的那个 好吗 It's a public vote. Just stick to the one I chose, OK?
我得亲自去拿我的健怡可乐了 I'll get my own Diet Coke then, shall I?
他在电视里看着脾气要好得多 He comes over much nicer on the telly.
都是剪辑出来的效果 It's all done in the edit.
谢谢你 亲爱的 能给我张纸巾吗 Ah, oh thank you, sweetie. And could I have a tissue, please?
我要擤鼻涕 I need to blow my nose.
不知道为什么戴美瞳总会让我流鼻涕 I don't know why but wearing contacts always makes me snotty.
我在吃咖喱时也会流鼻涕 I have that when I eat a curry.
安 你能跟我来一下吗 Anne, can I get you to step off for a little bit?
特效组要检查一下你变鬼声的管子 The FX team needs to look at your ectoplasm pipe.
这个要求你可无法拒绝 Oh, there's an offer you can't refuse.
不 我只需要5分钟一个人静静 No, I just need five minutes without being fiddled with.
我今晚有《海达·高布乐》的演出 I've got a performance of Hedda Gabler tonight
但我可不想像克里斯托弗·李那样 and I'm not doing it looking like Christopher Lee.
你想要把椅子歇歇脚是吗 安 Did you want a chair to rest your ankles on, Anne?
不用了 谢谢 我又不是残疾人 No, thank you, I'm not an invalid.
对了 你能就位了吗 魔鬼先生 Right, could we get you into position, please... erm... Mr Demon.
能让我先喝点水吗 那里面好热 Can I have some water first? It's so hot in there.
闷死了 杰玛 It's stifling, Gemma.
我们需要空调 我上周就说过了 We need air-con units, I said this last week.
在这种高温环境中 连牲口都不能养 You would not have cattle in this heat.
-确实热 -我是认真的 - It is warm. - I'm serious.
法律规定是不能在温度这么高的地方养牲口的 You would not be allowed to keep cattle in this heat
但演员呢 却没关系 but actors... it's fine.
阿曼达 你能给艺人们拿点水吗 Amanda, could you get the artists some water?
好了 我们能让你 OK, so can we get you...
-泰瑞 我能问你个事儿吗 -行啊 - Terry, can I ask you something? - Yes.
在我最初收到的剧本里 In the original script I got sent
我的角色是一个小男孩的鬼魂 it said the character was "Spirit of little boy."
-没错 我们改了 -能告诉我原因吗 - Yes. We changed it. - Can I ask why?
因为蓝色侏儒魔鬼更恐怖 Because Blue Demon Dwarf is scarier.
但侏儒的设定可信吗 因为显然... But will it be in the credits as dwarf? Because, obviously...
-什么 -我不是侏儒啊 - What? - I'm not a dwarf.
-好吧 -你觉得我是吗 - Right. - Did you think I was?
不 当然没有 No, of course not.
因为我当初如果知道 Because I never would have taken the role
演的是个恐怖侏儒 我才不会接这个角色 if I'd known it was all going to be scary dwarf acting.
那你一般接什么角色 So what kind of acting do you normally do?
很多啊 A variety, you know.
比如 我几年前拍了个小电影 Like, I did a short film a few years ago,
演的那个家伙在公园里碰到了 where I played this guy in a park who meets this
一个养狗的超级美女 really gorgeous girl with a dog.
她的狗一直盯着我 And the dog keeps looking at me...
好了 稍等下 我很想听你说 杰玛 Yeah, one second and I do want to hear this... Gemma.
你能跟我说 Could you just tell me
我得去戴我的胡子了吗 I've got to go and put my moustache back on?
我不想听他唠叨了 受不了了 好吗 I don't want to get trapped with that, I can't bear it, OK?
泰瑞 你得去戴你的胡子了 Terry, you've got to go and put your moustache on.
好的 马上 抱歉 Oh, OK. Will do. Sorry.
谁来拖一下那摊水 Will someone mop up that water, please?
那很容易引发事故的 That's how accidents happen.
恐怕得让你回笼子里去了 Erm, I really do need you back in your hutch, I'm afraid.
-笼子 我又不是沙鼠 -卡尔 好了吗 - Hutch? I'm not a gerbil! - Carl, all good?
-谁要水来着 -我 -请给我吧 - Who wanted water? - Me! - Er, me, please!
对了 泰瑞说这里需要个拖把 Oh, yeah, Terry said we needed a mop.
没事了 Oh, never mind.
能尽快让安戴上美瞳吗 Erm, can we get Anne's contacts back in as soon as possible, please?
这东西实在是质量太差了 There's too much fiddling on this.
我有次拍BBC的片子时需要假装断断续续昏迷 I was in and out of a coma for a BBC thing
本来可能会很折磨我 但并没有 and it could have been a nightmare, but it wasn't
因为弄道具的家伙很厉害 because the prop guys were fantastic.
能检查一下灯光吗 Can we check the lights?
我的水来了吗 Did my water come?
抱歉 Sorry.
好了 开机 祝各位好运 OK, roll cameras and good luck, studio.
请这边走 谢谢你这么准时 This way, please. Thank you for being prompt.
塔波特太太不喜欢迟到的人 Madam Talbot doesn't enjoy latecomers.
我能问问你是做什么工作的吗 What is it you do, if I may ask?
很抱歉 我好像踩到狗屎了 I'm really sorry, I think I've stood in some dog shit.
我看看 你有纸巾什么的吗 Have a look. Have you got a tissue or something?
满脚都是了 他妈的 It's everywhere. Fucking hell.
拜托 把鞋给我吧 No, please, let me take your shoe.
很抱歉 是要走狗屎运了吧 Sorry about this. Meant to be lucky, innit?
还是说只有被鸟屎淋到才算好运 Or is that just if a bird shits on you?
我想只有鸟屎意味着好运吧 Yeah, it's just birds I think. Yes.
我的一个朋友最近勾搭了个妹子 A mate of mine was going out with this bird, yeah,
她让我朋友躺在玻璃咖啡桌下 and she wanted him to lie under a glass coffee table...
-我拿出去吧 马上回来 -好吧 - I'll just take this outside, I won't be a moment. - All right.
-他在干什么 -他给扯掉了 - What's he doing? - He's pulled it off.
天呐 那这些片段都用不上了 Oh, God, we can't use any of this.
该死 操 Shit! Fuck!
这他妈是什么啊 What the fuck's that doing there?
去他妈的 Shitting hell.
操 Fuck.
-这玩意儿扎进我脚里了 -是什么 - This just stuck in my foot. - What is it?
不知道 像是黑指甲之类的 Dunno? Looks like a black nail or something.
很抱歉 也许是塔波特太太的 我很抱歉 Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe one of Madam Talbot's, I do apologise.
你以前 有过那种"联系"吗 Erm, so have you ever made contact before?
没有 No, mate.
说真的 我都不知道来这里是要干什么 Don't really know what I'm doing here to be honest with ya.
我朋友让我来的 挺烦的对吧 My mate put me up to it. Ain't that bothered, truth be told.
好吧 请你坐在这里 Great. Er, well, if you'd like to take a seat here.
如果你带了手机 能请你 Er, may I request that if you do have a mobile telephone
现在关机吗 you switch it off now.
我会告诉塔波特太太你准备好了 I will tell Madam Talbot you are ready.
好的 兄弟 All right, fella.
马丁 是我 我在那个通灵女的家里 Martin. It's me. I'm at the ghost woman's house.
最好别是个骗人的恶作剧 回电话 This better not be a fucking wind-up. Ring me back.
别把我当傻逼 我还有更重要的事呢 Don't take me for a prick, yeah. I've got better things to do.
我们得把这些脏话消音 We have to bleep all of this.
泰瑞该上了 Cue Terry.
皮特 请你站起来 Peter, please may you stand.
请允许我介绍塔... May I present Ma...
稍等 Oh, hang on.
你真够快的啊 我刚刚才给你留言呢 All right, that was quick. Just left you a message.
塔波特太太 Madam Talbot.
靠 她已经来了 Fucking hell, here we go. She's here.
好的 我待会儿再打给你 Yeah, I'll call you later.
再见 兄弟 好咧 Cheers, buddy. All right.
你好啊 All right?
你可以坐下了 You may be seated.
海夫斯 玛丽要入睡了 Hives, Mary is sleeping now.
抱歉 我不是故意笑出声的 Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh.
你为何来到这里 孩子 Why have you come here, my child?
我好兄弟马丁叫我来的 My mate Martin said I should.
他说你就跟大魔术师达伦·布朗一样 He said you're like Derren Brown.
他喜欢那种乱七八糟的东西 He likes shit like that.
好奇的人总会被吸引来这里 The curious are often drawn here,
一窥夏日乐园的真面目 for a glimpse of Summerland.
我一点都不好奇 I'm not curious.
问得好 意思就是太空 Good question. It means the astral plain.
什么 What?
一切准备就绪 All is ready.
她的眼睛怎么了 What's wrong with her eyes?
塔波特太太患有白内障 Madam Talbot suffers from cataracts,
但只做了一个眼睛的手术 but she's only managed to get one done.
我们把手牵起来吧 Let us link hands.
你一定觉得很逗吧 You're having a laugh, ain't ya?
现在请低头 抱歉 Now, let us bow our head. Sorry.
妈咪 Mummy.
什么 What?
妈咪去哪儿了 Where's mummy?
安 Anne?
现在我们低头冥想 祈祷 Now, let us bow our heads in meditation and prayer.
如果这里真有什么鬼魂 If there are indeed any astrals here today,
我们谦逊地请你给我们一些预兆 we humbly ask you to give us a sign.
有吗 Anything?
没有吗 No?
该死 让侏儒上场 Shit. Cue the dwarf.
-在场的有你认识的人吗 -蒂娜 - Is there anybody here known to you? - Tina.
-不对 -皮特 - No. - Peter.
跟它对话 皮特 Talk to it, Peter.
问它想要什么 Ask it what it wants.
-我来了 -你想怎么样 - I'm here. - What do you want?
皮特 Peter.
该死 Shit.
发生什么事了 海夫斯 What has happened, Hives?
因为我是个瞎子 只能靠感觉 For I am blind and can only sense.
行了 别演了 安 All right, drop it, Anne.
你在干什么 你个蠢货 What are you doing, you moron?
皮特 这是个恶作剧 恶作剧而已 Peter, it's a prank. It's a prank.
什么 What?
你是在录《惊恐之态》 You're being filmed for Scaredy Cam.
《惊恐之态》是什么 What's Scaredy Cam?
滚远点 就是个偷拍节目 Oh, fuck off, it's a hidden camera show.
杰玛 你从哪儿找来的这些人啊 Gemma, where do you find these people?
派个人告诉皮皮和他的朋友 And someone tell Pepe and his friend
-我们已经停止拍摄了 -卡尔 - we've stopped. - Carl.
抱歉 我刚刚不知道...我... I'm sorry, I didn't... I just...
-他没事吧 -他在流血 - Is he all right? - He's bleeding.
可别把血流在了假发上 那可是租来的 Ah, eww, not on the wig I hope. It's a hire.
你还好吧 他叫什么名字 Are you OK? Oh, what is his name?
我一直没听清过 I never did hear it.
不知道为什么 我想叫他汤姆 I want to say Tom for some reason,
难道我想到的是拇指仙童汤姆 but am I thinking of Tom Thumb?
他就是演蓝色侏儒魔鬼的一个群众演员而已 He's just Blue Demon Dwarf on the call sheet.
谁在乎他的名字啊 赶紧把他弄起来 Who cares what his name is? Just get him up.
阿曼达 快叫救护车 Amanda, call an ambulance.
我就说片场该请个专门的护士吧 I told you there should have been a unit nurse.
我第一天就说了 I said on day one.
那只是因为你想要免费的感冒药 Only because you wanted free Lemsips.
不好意思 我每周演8场戏剧 Excuse me, eight shows a week
白天还要拍一档电视节目 and a telly in the daytime.
你也会想服药的 You'd be wanting medication.
-抱歉 我以为他是个魔鬼呢 -他是个演员 - I'm sorry, I thought he was a monster. - He's an actor.
勉强算沾边吧 Broadly speaking.
我不是有意要伤害他的 我只是慌乱了 I didn't mean to hurt him, I just panicked.
我们这里有个小人 We've got a little person.
他出了一点事故 He's been involved in an accident.
不 他不是个孩子 只是身材比较矮小 No, no he's not a child, he's sort of a short...
天啊 就直接说侏儒不就好了 Oh, for God's sake, you can say dwarf!
我不是个侏儒 I'm not a dwarf.
他醒过来了 你能听到我说话吗 He's come to. Can you hear me?
他现在的确是蓝色的 Well, he is blue at the moment,
但涂料下面的真皮肤或许不是 but he might not be underneath.
你能出去说吗 阿曼达 Would you take that outside, please, Amanda?
听着 没人伤害我 Look, nobody bite my head off,
但我现在可以走了吗 but might I be permitted to take my slap off and go?
我真的没办法空肚子演三个小时的戏 I just can't do three hours of Ibsen on an empty stomach
而且我之前真的在街角看到一家寿司店 and I did spy a Yo Sushi on the corner.
-闭嘴吧 安 -你说什么 - Oh, shut up, will you, Anne? - I beg your pardon?
我叫你闭嘴 我想好好思考呢 I said shut up, I'm trying to think.
你可真是大胆 How dare you!
从来没人这么跟我说过话 No-one has ever spoken to me like that before
我可是参演过《鞋带》的大演员 and I've done Shoestring.
天啊 他没呼吸了 Oh, my God, he's stopped breathing.
真好啊 Oh, brilliant!
这个节目上次被取消 This show got cancelled last time,
就是因为一个小男孩在直播时尿了裤子 cos a little boy pissed his pants on live TV.
我们收到97通投诉 We got 97 complaints
最后我只能沦落到去拍宾果游戏的广告 and I ended up doing bingo adverts.
我才不要再次沦落到那种境地 杰玛 I'm not going back there, Gemma.
你听明白了吗 Do you understand me?
他死了 He's dead.
天啊 Oh, God!
-我们最好赶快报警 -天啊 - We'd better ring the police. - Oh, fuck's sake.
晚安了 小王子 Goodnight, sweet prince.
天使也为你歌唱 助你安息 And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
我的年纪演《哈姆雷特》中的格楚德不算老吧 I'm not too old for Gertrude, am I?
救护车正赶过来 Ambulance is on its way.
他已经死了 没气了 He's dead. He died.
我能进去把他的假牙取下来吗 Oh, can I pop back in and grab the teeth then?
那可是很贵的 They cost a fortune.
我要是你 就别去碰那东西 I wouldn't touch them if I were you.
警方会想找我们谈话的 The police will want to talk to us all.
我什么都没干啊 I haven't done anything.
我一直都坐在化妆台前 I've just been sitting on my make-up box the whole time.
去休息室里等着吧 Just go and wait in the green room.
他们很快就会到的 They'll be here soon enough.
为什么倒霉的总是我 Why's it always me?
我需要那顶假发 要放进仓库 I will need that wig though. It needs to go back into storage.
真遗憾啊 那段真他妈好笑 What a shame. It's fucking funny.
阿曼达哪儿去了 Where's Amanda?
我要把美瞳取出来 我看上去跟哥伦布一样 I need this contact out. I look like Columbo.
她在休息室里 She's in the green room.
行啊 那我就自己取出来吧 Oh fine. I'll de-rig myself then, shall I?
全力以赴地帮忙 简直跟做利益分红一样 All hands to the pump. It's like doing profit share.
警方正赶过来 Police are on their way.
希望你没提到我 Well, I hope you didn't mention me.
我说了 从没听说过你 I did. Never heard of you.
你觉得接下来会怎样 What do you think'll happen?
很可能又会把这部剧取消了吧 禁止重播 Probably cancel the series again. Er, stop any repeats.
我的合同不会被续签 My contract won't be renewed
而且我还会登上这个电视台的黑名单 and I'll be blacklisted from the channel.
不 我是说我接下来会怎样 No, I meant what do you think'll happen to me?
我也不知道 你这段可能会被传上视频网站吧 Don't know. It'll probably end up as a clip on YouTube.
那个小孩尿裤子的视频有300万的点击量 Three million hits that pissing boy got,
我却一分钱都没见着 I didn't see a penny of it.
我很抱歉搞砸了你们的节目 I'm sorry for spoiling your programme.
不 没事 反正你说了太多脏话 也不能用 Oh, no, it's fine. You were swearing too much anyway.
那是在你谋杀了一个侏儒之前 And that was before you murdered a dwarf.
我并没有谋杀他 I didn't murder him.
是啊 你当然没有了 都是他的错 No, of course you didn't. And if anything, it was his fault.
谁的错 Whose fault?
那个小玩意儿 他没听清出场暗号 Little what's his face. He missed his cue.
你当时说的什么鬼话 "妈咪上哪儿去了" And what were you saying anyway? "Where's Mummy?"
你好端端的为什么说那句 What was all that about?
我不记得了 我一定是忘词了 I don't remember. I must have dried.
当年在伦敦交易所演《蜜之味》时也发生过这事 Same thing happened to me in A Taste of Honey at the Royal Exchange.
我突然开始念香蕉面包的食谱 I suddenly went into a recipe for banana bread.
观众也没察觉出来 Audience never clocked.
好了 我得在警察到来前赶紧换身衣服 Right, I'm going to get changed before the police get here.
话说 我当年差点就演了马普尔那个角色 Do you know, I was very nearly Marple.
但他们说我不够甜美 狗杂种 They said I wasn't sweet enough. Fuckers.
那是个意外 是无法预料的 Look, it was an accident. You can't predict these things.
谢谢 Thanks.
能把我的鞋还给我吗 Can I get my shoe back?
-当然 在走廊里 -好的 - Oh, sure, er, it's in the corridor. - OK.
别担心 一切都没事 Don't worry. It'll be fine.
能针对他做个背景调查吗 Can we run a background check on him?
看他有没有精神病史 See if there's any history of mental illness.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
那就全是他的错了啊 不是吗 Well, then it's all his fault, isn't it?
我们可以把责任都推给他 We can pin it all on him.
泰瑞 现在我可没空去想这事 Terry, that's the last thing on my mind at the moment.
不好意思 我只是想挽救这节目而已 I'm sorry. I'm trying to save the programme.
你不想要事业了吗 Don't you want a career?
那也不能栽赃嫁祸别人啊 Not if it means treating people like shit.
那或许你入错行了 Well, you're in the wrong job then.
是啊 或许的确如此 祝你拍宾果游戏广告愉快 Yeah, maybe I am. Good luck with your bingo adverts.
现在是莱斯·丹尼斯在拍 所以... Les Dennis is doing them now so...
谢天谢地 Oh, thank Christ.
你好 Hello.
你没事吧 Are you all right?
你让我们大家都很担心呢 You had us all worried there for a minute.
抱歉 我不知道你的名字 Sorry, I don't know your name.
小男孩的鬼魂 Spirit of little boy.
不 我们已经改了那个剧本 还记得吗 Er, no, we changed that. Remember?
我好伤心 I'm sad.
是啊 我很抱歉 但至少你现在没事了 Yes. Sorry about that. Erm, well at least you're all right now.
-我不喜欢那样 -好吧 - I didn't like it. - No.
我明白 我们会尽一切所能 No, but, er, we're going to do everything in our power
让那个家伙被绳之以法的 to make sure that guy gets prosecuted.
我不喜欢你扮演的大猩猩 我当时好怕 I didn't like it when you were the gorilla. I was scared.
大猩猩 Gorilla?
所有人都嘲笑我 不如跳进河里死了更容易 They all laughed at me. It was easier to jump in the river.
什么 What?
妈咪没看见 水里好冷啊 Mummy didn't see. It was cold in the water.
汤姆-汤姆不喜欢那样 Tom-Tom didn't like it.
对不起 我也不知道 I'm sorry. Er, I didn't know.
就是个愚蠢的电视节目而已 It was just a stupid bit of telly.
我没有仔细想 I didn't think.
等等 真好笑啊 Oh, hang on. Oh, very funny.
好吧 好样的 各位 真是精心安排 Er, yeah, well done guys. Very elaborate.
你们差点骗到我了 你们好啊 You nearly had me for a minute. Yeah, hello.
我必须夸奖一下你 I've got to hand it to you fella,
你这会儿的演技可比之前... you're a much better actor than I first...
妈咪 妈咪上哪儿去了 Mummy. Where's mummy?
泰瑞 警察到了 Terry, the police are here...
他肯定在另一个房间里 Oh, he must be in the other room.
泰瑞 发生什么事了 Terry, what's happened?
我在拍《惊恐之态》节目 I'm on Scaredy Cam.
新浪微博
@小逗比_美剧派
倾情奉献
新浪微博
@小逗比_美剧派
倾情奉献