今天会是最棒的一天。 Today is gonna be the best day ever.
我怎么知道的? How do I know that?
因为每一天都是最美好的一天。 Because every day is the best day ever.
我爱我的生活。 I love my life.
我爱阳光，我爱蝴蝶， I love sunshine, I love butterflies,
但最重要的是我爱道格 but more than anything, I love Doug.
——嘿! - Hey!
你他妈的闭嘴。 Shut the fuck up.
他妈的一坨屎。 Fucking piece of shit.
那是道格，也叫 That's Doug, also known as
世界上最好的主人。 the best owner in the world.
我还记得我们第一天见面的情景。 I still remember the first day we met.
她也在跟你调情。- She was, too, flirting with you. -
嘿,宝贝。 Hey, babies.
道格第一眼看到我的时候， The second Doug laid eyes on me,
我们知道我们注定要在一起。 we knew we were meant to be together.
他妈的。 Fuck.
从那天起，他和我就形影不离。 Ever since that day, he and I have been inseparable.
道格为什么这么棒? Why is Doug so great?
-我从哪里开始?-趴下。 - Where do I begin? - Get down.
他很喜欢和我在一起， He loves being around me so much,
他连工作都没有。 he doesn't even have a job.
还有，道格不给我买无聊的狗玩具。 Also, Doug doesn't get me boring dog toys.
他让我自己设计玩具。 He lets me come up with my own toys.
嗨,雷吉。你有什么? Hi, Reggie. What you got?
比如这个有弹性的东西。 Like this stretchy thing.
-搞什么鬼?——嗯… - What the fuck? - Uh...
那些不是我的。 Those aren't mine.
有一个简单的解释。 There is a simple explanation.
这本该是圣诞礼物的。 This was supposed to be a Christmas present.
道格，现在是七月。 Doug, it's July.
有时我担心 Sometimes I worry
我能不能让道格开心 if I'm doing a good job making Doug happy.
-你不明白-我完了。雷吉。 - You don't get it. - I'm done. Reggie.
但后来我意识到我确实能让道格开心。 But then I realized I do make Doug happy.
你在干什么?你连狗都不喜欢。 What are you doing? You don't even like the dog.
我爱这只狗。 I love this dog.
这让我很开心。 And that makes me happy.
-重要的是你喜欢他 -All that matters is that you like him,
我很高兴你不能拥有他 and I like that you don't get to have him.
你是个彻头彻尾的失败者。 You are a total fucking loser.
-是啊，带狗的窝囊废。 - Yeah, a loser with a dog.
说实话，这世界上唯一的 Honestly, the only thing in the world
道格可能比我更爱她 that Doug maybe loves more than me
是他最喜欢的玩具:他的小弟弟。 is his favorite toy: his penis.
他给它理发。 He gives it haircuts.
他用它看电视。 He watches TV with it.
女:把它翻过来! WOMAN Flip it around!
停止盯着。你毁了它。 Stop staring. You're ruining it.
他抚摸那东西的样子， And the way he pets that thing,
有时候我真希望自己是鸡鸡。 sometimes I wish I was a penis.
但每次我想玩它的时候， But every time I try to play with it,
他占有欲太强了。 he gets so possessive.
下车!快——坏狗! Get off! Get-- Bad dog!
这是任何良好关系的关键 The key to any good relationship
是有共同点。 is having things in common.
我们都喜欢叫。 We both like barking.
我们都喜欢抓挠。 We both love a good scratch.
我们可以整晚聊上几个小时。 And we can stay up all night just talking for hours.
你把我的生活搞砸了，对吧? You fucked up my life, didn't you?
尽管我不明白他在说什么…… Even though I don't understand what he's saying...
如果不是你这个笨蛋，她根本不会发现。 She never would've found out if it wasn't for your dumb ass.
…我能感觉到他爱我。 ...I can tell he loves me.
虽然我认识的人不多， And while I don't know that many human beings,
我想可以肯定地说他是最好的之一。 I think it's safe to assume he's one of the best.
该死的。 Goddamn it.
这是胡扯，妈妈。 It's bullshit, Mom.
他们要把我赶出去 They're kicking me out
因为你上一张支票不够付房租。 'cause your last check wasn't enough for rent.
你可能会说道格很邋遢，但最近… You might say Doug is messy, but lately...
不，我不会搬回家的。 No, I'm not gonna move back home.
…他好多了 ...he's been much better
会把玩具放好。 at putting his toys away.
不，对不起，我很抱歉。看。 No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look.
只是，你知道我做不到 It's just, you know that I can't
住在离学校那么近的地方。 live that close to a school.
不! No!
坏狗!这是我最喜欢的烟枪，伙计! Bad dog! That's my favorite fucking bong, dude!
哦。你喜欢那个球，不是吗? Oh. You like that ball, don't you?
最近，道格一直在玩 Lately, Doug has been playing
跟我玩一个全新的游戏，叫做爱。 a brand-new game with me called fetch-and-fuck.
获取! Fetch!
基本上是道格送我的 Basically, Doug drops me off
真的很远…… really far away...
再见，克-莫-比。 Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee.
…抛球回家，不带我。 ...throws the ball and drives home without me.
然后轮到我拿球了 Then it's my turn to get the ball
找到回家的路。 and find my way back home.
当我把球拿回来时， When I bring the ball back,
-他说…——操。 - he says... - Fuck.
这就是为什么我知道我赢了比赛。 And that's how I know I won the game.
获取! Fetch!
我们最近玩了很多次。 We've been playing it a lot lately.
他妈的!-有时我们也玩 Fuck! - Sometimes we play it
一天三到四次。 three or four times in the same day.
获取! Fetch!
——操。 - Fuck.
获取!他妈的! Fetch! Fuck!
他妈的!他妈的。 Fuck! Fuck.
天他妈的! Holy fuck!
"我操"是对的。 "Holy fuck" is right.
我又赢了! I win again!
就是这样。 That's it.
这一切都结束了。 This ends now.
♬你只剩下几英里了 ♪ You only got a couple miles to go ♪
如果你想把我逼疯…♪ ♪ If you're trying to drive me insane... ♪
这些公路旅行是最好的。 These road trips are the best.
因为你可以看到令人兴奋的世界 Because you get to see the exciting world
在我们镇的外面。 outside our town.
继续开，道格。 Keep driving, Doug.
别让我太轻松了。 Don't make it too easy on me.
我喜欢挑战。 I love a challenge.
因为我躲着所有人 ♪ 'Cause I hide from everyone ♪
♬照亮我吧 ♪ Shine on me ♪
这一轮将是最艰难的一轮， This round's gonna be the hardest one yet,
因为我们比以前走得更远了。 because we went way further than we've ever gone before.
事实上，我不知道我们在哪里。 In fact, I have no idea where we are.
这很令人兴奋。 And that's exciting.
♬照亮我吧 ♪ Shine on me ♪
♬照亮我…♪ ♪ Shine on me... ♪
我知道这个世界有时看起来很可怕， I know the world seems like a scary place sometimes,
但我不担心。 but I don't worry.
祝你好运。 Good luck fetching this.
因为我在道格身边总是很安全。 Because I'm always safe at Doug's side.
♬照亮我吧 ♪ Shine on me ♪
♬照亮我吧。♪ ♪ Shine on me. ♪
当然，道格用这个游戏挑战了我， Sure, Doug really challenges me with this game,
但那只是因为他相信我。 but that's just because he believes in me.
你知道他们怎么说的。 You know what they say.
最好的关系是艰难的。 The best relationships are the hard ones.
你必须付出努力。 You have to put in the work.
-你得有勇气。 - You got to have courage.
你要永远记住，真爱…… And you always need to remember that real love...
…从来都不容易。 ...is never easy.
但即使我喜欢这个游戏， But even though I love this game,
我有点想结束这一切。 I kind of want it to be over.
,因为…… Because, well...
我真的只想待在家里。 I really just want to be home.
好吧。是时候行动了。 Okay. Time to get moving.
回道格家去。 Going back to Doug's.
这是个不错的社区。 This is a nice neighborhood.
我喜欢那些垃圾。 I like all the trash.
还有针。 And the needles.
这么多针。 So many needles.
嗨,蜂蜜。 Hey, honey.
你以前和阿富汗人交往过吗? You ever been with an Afghan before?
不，我不这么想，不过还是谢谢你。 Uh, no, I-I don't think so, but thank you.
好吧，好吧，好吧。这是什么? Well, well, well. What do we have here?
你失去了吗? You lost?
你好啊，大狗。 Hi there, uh, big dogs.
是的，我迷路了。 Yes, I am lost.
我要去道格家。 I'm trying to get to Doug's place.
你……你知道从这里往哪走吗? Do you... do you know which way that is from here?
嗯… Hmm...
-你是说道格家?-是的。是的。 - You say Doug's place? - I did. Yeah.
对，对，我知道是哪条路。 Oh, yeah, yeah, I know which way that is.
哦,太棒了。 Oh, great.
操我的屁眼，你个小混蛋。 Right up my fucking ass, you little shit.
哦，不，这不可能。 Oh, no, that can't be right.
好吧，我这就走了。 O-O-Okay, well, I'll just be on my way.
能把球还给我吗? Uh, can-can I please have my ball back?
你的球吗?如果我让你活着离开，算你走运了。 Your ball? You'll be lucky if I let you leave with your life.
嘿!到底是谁在制造噪音 Hey! Who in the fuck is making all that noise
-在我的巷子里?-哇，这家伙是谁? - in my fucking alley? - Whoa, who's this guy?
哦，你不想让我回来 Oh, you don't want me to come around
这个该死的角落，是吗? this fucking corner, now, do you?
该死的事情要开始了。相信我。 Shit's gonna get crackin'. Trust me.
你想跳舞吗，混蛋? You want to dance, motherfuckers, huh?
你想跳舞吗? You want to dance?
我们开始吧。 Let's do this.
怎么了，贱人们?嗯? What's up, bitches? Huh?
哦，他很小。 Oh, he's tiny.
那个影子——我以为他是…… The shadow-- I thought he was...
我还以为他很壮呢。 I thought he was fucking big.
是啊，我们能摧毁这家伙，对吧? Yeah, we can destroy this guy, right?
来吧，咬我吧，你们这群混蛋。 Yeah, go ahead, bite me, you raggedy motherfuckers.
你敢不敢。 I dare you.
你知道我身上有多少疾病吗? You know how many diseases is up in me?
狂犬病，疥疮，任何你能得的病 Rabies, scabies, whatever disease you can get
用舌头操死松鼠。 from tongue-fucking a dead squirrel.
我昨晚就这么做了，因为我疯了。 Which I did last night 'cause I'm crazy, man.
这是37英寸的垂直距离。 That's a 37-inch vertical.
我现在就告诉你，你追上我了 I'm-a tell you right now, you run up on me
我就把这爪子插进你的屁股和他的屁股里 and I'll stick this paw right up your ass and in his,
-就像羊肉串。——哇。这家伙好像疯了。 - like a shish kebab. - Whoa. This guy seems nuts.
看看他对着自己的屁股叫的样子。 Look at the way he's barking at his own ass.
我来做。我来做。 I'll do it. I'll do it.
我要咬掉我自己的屁股! I'll bite my own ass off!
天啊，这家伙到底怎么了? Oh, man, the fuck is wrong with this guy?
我疯了，我要操垃圾。 I'm so crazy I'll fuck the trash.
你喜欢它，不是吗? You like it, don't you?
你喜欢它。 You like it.
你想被回收吗? You want to get recycled?
有人有扭曲的领带吗? Anybody got a twisty tie?
因为我要把这个袋子搞砸了。 'Cause I'm fucking this bag up.
好吧，下一个是谁? Okay, who's next?
他吓到我了。让我们反弹。 He's freaking me out. Let's bounce.
跟你打，不然我操你!经销商的选择。 Fight you or I'll fuck you! Dealer's choice.
但不管怎样，你都会染上蠕虫。 But either way, you're getting worms.
大家伙，这些狗娘养的。 Large breeds, man-- these motherfuckers.
老兄，你看，老是被狗狗的把戏骗到。 Man, look, always falling for that crazy little dog trick.
嘿。你在听吗，孩子? Hey. You with me, kid?
因为这个街区不适合你这样的狗。 'Cause this block ain't for dogs like you.
我们该离开这鬼地方了。 We should get the hell out of here.
但是我的网球…… But my tennis ball...
啊，去他妈的。我们再给你拿一个。 Ah, fuck it. We'll get you another one.
顺便说一下，我叫布格。你有名字吗? I'm Bug, by the way. You got a name?
哦，对了。对不起。 Oh, uh, right. Sorry.
很高兴见到你，布格。 It's good to meet you, Bug.
我叫屎包。 M-My name is Shitbag.
怎么啦？ What?
是蠢蛋屎袋的缩写， Oh, it's short for Dumbass Shitbag,
但有时候道格会把它读成fuck nuget。 but sometimes Doug pronounces it Fucknugget.
这些听起来都不像名字。 Uh, none of those sound like names.
哦。道格的女朋友以前叫我雷吉。 Oh. Well, Doug's lady friend used to call me Reggie.
雷吉。好了。好吧，我们就这么定了。 Reggie. There you go. Yeah, we're gonna go with that.
让我们继续前进。 Let's keep moving.
你流浪多久了，雷吉? So, uh, how long you been a stray for, Reggie?
-哦，我…不，我不是流浪狗。-你不会吧? - Oh, I... no, I'm not a stray. - Oh, you're not?
我只是暂时在这里。-哦。 I-I'm just out here temporarily. -Oh.
我有主人了。 I actually have an owner.
我们在玩这个游戏，他把我送到很远的地方…… We're playing this game where he drops me off far away...
——嗯。-…扔个球…… - Mm-hmm. - ...throws a ball...
——正确的。-…然后就轮到我了 - Right. - ...and then it's my turn
把球带回家。 to bring the ball back home.
天呐 Holy shit.
-是的。-那是… - Yeah. - That's, uh...
对不起，伙计， I'm sorry, man,
但这是令人难以置信的悲剧。 but that's incredibly tragic.
最有趣的是 And the funniest fucking thing
这是我很久没听说过的。 I've heard in a long fucking time.
我很高兴你能笑得开心。 Well, I'm glad you're having a good laugh.
听我的，孩子，你的老板， Take it from me, kid, that owner of yours,
他没跟你玩什么游戏。 he's not playing any game with you.
-他离开你了，好吗?——嗯? - He left your ass, okay? - Huh?
你正式成为流浪狗了。 You are officially a stray.
别这么叫我。 D-Don't call me that.
这没什么好羞愧的。 It's nothing to be ashamed of.
我是一只流浪狗，我正在享受我生命中的美好时光。 I'm a stray, and I'm having the time of my life.
你会学习。你多大了? You'll learn. How old are you?
我是两个。 I'm two.
我三岁了，什么都看过了。 Well, I'm three, and I have seen it all.
上帝保佑。 Paw to God.
我曾经见过一只有一半拉布拉多血统的狗 I once saw a dog that was half Labrador
半卷毛狗。 and half poodle.
-一只拉布拉多犬。-不不不不 - A-A labradoodle. - No, no, no, no.
-狗屎门。-狗屎门? - A poo-dor. - A poo-dor?
反之亦然。 The other way around.
-更奇怪了。-是的。 - Even fucking weirder. - Yeah.
重点是，这里的生活要靠你自己 Point is, life out here on your own
只要你遵守规则，你就能做得很棒。 can be fucking awesome as long as you go by the rules.
什么规则? Well, what rules?
规则一: Rule number one:
你想要什么，就往上面撒尿。 You want something, you pee on it.
不管你尿在什么上面，都是你的。 Whatever you pee on, it's yours.
我们来试一下。 Let's try it out.
你看到那边的灯柱了吗? You-you see that lamppost over there?
是的。-你为什么不过去在上面撒尿? Yeah. -Why don't you go over there and pee on that?
你确定这样可以吗? And you're sure this is okay?
去做吧。没人在乎。 Go ahead. Ain't nobody giving a fuck.
你现在是个流浪狗了。这就是我的观点。 You're a fucking stray now. That's my point.
我不是流浪狗，不过好吧。 Well, I'm-I'm not a stray, but yeah, okay.
祝贺你。 Congratulations.
你现在拥有了一根灯柱。 You now own a lamppost.
哦,哇。 Oh, wow.
现在，我们来谈谈第二条规则: Now, let's talk rule number two:
你想干什么就干什么。 You can pretty much fuck whatever you want.
你以前跳过什么吗? Have you ever humped anything before?
好吧，我不会说我自己上过床， Well, I wouldn't say I've humped, per se,
但我喜欢在道格的腿上跳舞。 but I do like to dance on Doug's leg.
伙计，那不是跳舞。 Dude, that wasn't dancing.
宝贝，你在跳魔鬼之舞。 Baby, you was humping-- the devil's dance.
但现在世界就像自助餐 But now the world is like a buffet
-为了你的小狗鸡巴。——真的吗? - for your tiny dog dick. - Really?
你知道吗?我最近干了这沙发。 You know what? I recently fucked this couch.
——没有。——嗯。 - No. - Mm-hmm.
这是我这辈子最棒的性爱。 Best sex of my life.
——哇。真的吗?-是的。 - Wow. Really? - Yeah.
哦，她也很脏。 Oh, a-a-and she's dirty, too.
哦，我看得出来。 Oh, well, I-I can tell.
看起来她好几年没洗澡了。 Looks like she hasn't been washed in years.
再见，宝贝。 I'll see you later, baby.
很高兴认识你。 It was nice to meet you.
现在，规则三， Now, rule number three,
最重要的一点是: and this is the most important, bar none:
你得靠自己了。 You are on your own.
这是很糟糕的。 That's awful.
这不是坏事，好吗? That's not a bad thing, all right?
现在，你吓坏了 Now, right now you're freaking out
因为你觉得，你需要这个道格。 'cause you feel like, you know, y-you need this Doug guy.
-是的。-不，不，相信我 - I do. - But no, no, trust me.
你不。 You don't.
人类欺骗我们，让我们认为我们需要他们， Humans trick us into thinking that we need 'em,
但他们只是在给我们洗脑。 but they're just brainwashing us, man.
重点是，你不用再处理那些破事了，好吗? Point is, you ain't got to deal with that shit no more, okay?
你是个流浪汉。 You a stray.
你现在可以做任何你想做的事。-我不知道。 You can do anything you want now. -I don't know.
来吧!跟我念: Come on! Repeat after me:
我可以做任何事。 I can do anything.
我可以……什么吗? I can do... anything?
你他妈的当然可以。 Damn fucking right you can.
现在，你想看看人类有多操蛋吗? Now, you want to see how fucked-up humans can be?
来吧。 Come on.
看看这些混蛋。 Look at these motherfuckers here.
一群宠物狗 A bunch of pet dogs
在15分钟的自由中失去理智。 losing their minds over their 15 minutes of freedom.
上帝!要是我们的狼祖先能看到这些娘们就好了。 God! If only our wolf ancestors could see these pussies.
跟我来。 Follow me.
为什么这些人类如此不顾一切地想留住我们? Now, why are these humans so desperate to keep us?
-因为他们爱我们?-不不，我有个想法 - Because they love us? - No, no, I-I got a theory.
-他们需要我们的便便。——嗯? - They need us for our poop. - Huh?
注意那位女士。看她。 Watch that lady. Watch her.
——看到了吗?看到了吗?啊哈。 - See? See? Uh-huh.
好像他们是为了什么东西而收集的。 It's like they're collecting it for something.
你觉得他们拿它做什么? What do you think they're doing with it?
我想他们在用它做巧克力。-哦。 I think they're using it to make chocolate. -Oh.
你吃过巧克力吗?-不。 Have you ever had a piece of chocolate? -No.
完全正确。来吧。我要把你介绍给我的朋友们。 Exactly. Come on. I'm gonna introduce you to my homeys.
你不是说这些狗都是失败者吗。 I thought you said these dogs were all losers.
对，对，对。我说了很多废话。 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say a lot of shit.
-嘿，失败者。-嘿，小虫。 - Hey, losers. - Hey, Bug.
哦，这不是抓车的小狗吗。 Oh, if it isn't the tiny dog who caught the car.
我确实赶上了那辆车。 I did catch that car.
不，每个人都知道那是不可能的。 No, everyone knows that's impossible.
是的，它停在那里。 Yeah, it was parked.
是啊，我抓到它之后它就停了。 Yeah, it parked after I caught it.
不，车里没有人。-是的，车里没人。 No, there was no one in the car. -Yeah, no one in the car.
听着，我都不用继续跟你说下去了。 Listen, I don't even have to keep this conversation going.
我想做的是，失败者们， What I was trying to do, losers,
把你介绍给我的新朋友雷吉 was introduce you to my new friend Reggie.
他刚被甩了。 He just got dumped.
哦。对不起,伙伴。欢迎加入我们。 Aw. Sorry, mate. Welcome to the club.
呃,抱歉。至少是相互的吧? Uh, sorry. Was it at least mutual?
不，这其实只是个游戏。 Oh, no, it-it's actually just a game.
雷吉，我想让你见见亨特。 Reg, I want you to meet Hunter.
他是一只治疗犬 He's a therapy dog
在临终之家工作的人。 who works in a home for dying humans.
听起来还不错， Which sounds like an okay gig,
除了他被训练成警犬。 except that he was trained to be a police dog.
你差点就进了警队? You almost made it to the police squad?
-太棒了。 - That's awesome.
是啊，我想这很棒。 Yeah, I-I guess it's awesome.
别挡我的路，小子! Get the fuck out of my way, cone boy!
哦，抱歉，巴布西。 Oh, uh, sorry about that, Bubsy.
亨特，说句回话，伙计。 Hunter, say something back, mate.
哦，对，对，对，对，对。嗯… Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um...
嘿，巴布西，你他妈的有没有…周末计划吗? Hey, Bubsy, you got any fucking... weekend plans?
怎么啦？听起来还是很友好。你抓住他了。 What? It still sounds friendly. -REGGIE: You got him.
是的。生吃你妈妈。 Yeah. Raw-dogging your mom.
啊,对了。我很确定她已经死了 Ah, right. Well, I'm pretty sure she's dead,
祝你好运。——猫咪! - but good luck anyway. - Pussy!
喜欢你的评论，巴布斯。当心 Love those observations, Bubs. Take care.
亨特，胖起来。 Hunter, get your weight up.
别让他那样跟你说话。 Don't let him talk to you like that.
你是这里最大的狗。 You're the biggest dog here.
你应该把他的脸吃掉， You should eat his freaking face off,
拉出来，然后再吃。 shit it out and then eat it again.
布格，你知道我不喜欢对抗。 Bug, you know I don't love confrontation.
是啊，别被大鸡巴骗了。 Yeah, don't let the big dick fool you.
他就是个大娘们。 He's just a gigantic pussy.
哇。 Whoa.
这是一个伟大的阴茎。 It is a great penis.
哦,谢谢。你知道，我试着保持干净， Oh, thanks. You know, I try to keep it clean,
尽我最大的努力去舔它。 do my best to lick it as much as possible.
是啊，唯一比亨特的老二还粗的东西 Yeah, the only thing thicker than Hunter's dick
是这两个人之间的性张力。 is the sexual tension between these two.
-得了吧。-布格，不。怎么啦？ - Oh, come on. - Bug, no. What?
-这很有趣。-对，没错。想象。 - That's funny, though. - Yeah, right. Imagine.
“比亨特的老二还粗。” "Thicker than Hunter's dick."
-不，不。——没有。 - But no, no. - No.
另一方面，麦琪是个坏婊子。 Now, Maggie, on the other hand, is one bad bitch.
但不幸的是，她的主人珍娜认为 But sadly, her owner Jenna thinks
更坏的贱人是取代她的小狗。 the badder bitch is the puppy that replaced her.
所以，贝拉看着我说，“我也想要一个小蛋糕，” So, Bella looked at me like, "I want a cupcake, too,"
所以我就想"我要给她买个小蛋糕" so I was like, "I'm gonna get her a cupcake."
-我很乐意。——对吗? - I am so here for that. - Right?
珍娜说"坐下"我照做了。 So, Jenna said, "Sit," which I did.
但我又想， But then I thought,
“如果我表现得很困惑不是很可爱吗 "Wouldn't it be cute if I acted all confused
我歪着头说:“嗯?’”-哦，天哪，别这样。 and tilted my head like, 'Huh?'" -Oh, my God, stop.
老兄，跟它竞争真是太烂了。 Man, sure got to suck to compete with that.
不，没关系。 No, it's fine.
贝拉年轻、可爱、有趣，珍娜当然喜欢她 Bella's young and cute and fun, so of course Jenna loves her
比我更爱你，我明白 more than me right now, and I get that.
酷。不管怎样，我在想，如果你们一会儿有空的话… Cool. Anyways, I was thinking, if you guys are free later...
但我不明白的是詹娜为什么会这么想 But what I really don't get is why Jenna thinks
她转圈圈的样子太可爱了。 it's so adorable when she spins around in circles.
我做梦都能做到。 Like, I could do that in my sleep.
但你知道吗?这完全没问题。它很好。 But you know what? It's totally fine. It's fine.
嗯,好吧。-你知道吗?这不会影响我 Mm, okay. -You know what? It doesn't get to me
不再是这样了。 so much anymore.
我很好。我既不嫉妒也不担心 I'm fine. I'm not jealous or worried
或者生气，沮丧，困惑 or angry or depressed or confused
或者生气，或者精神错乱。 or fuming or unhinged at all.
是的，你看起来很好。 Yeah, you seem totally fine.
现在詹娜和贝拉在一起的时间那么长， And now that Jenna's spending so much time with Bella,
这给了我一个自我照顾的机会。 it's given me a chance to do a little self-care.
我一直在挖掘。 Like, I've been going into the digging.
我真的很喜欢指甲下泥土的感觉。 I really like the feeling of the soil under my nails.
我就像，又呼吸到了新鲜空气。 I'm just, like, out in the fresh air again.
我只是和这片土地产生了共鸣。 I'm just really connecting to the land.
不，我在学习我喜欢挖掘。 No, I'm-I'm learning I love digging.
我喜欢挖!我喜欢!我喜欢挖! I love digging! I love it! I love to dig!
-发生什么事了?-看到了吗，雷吉? - What-what's happening? - See, Reg?
你现在当流浪狗不开心吗 Aren't you happy to be a stray now
这样就不用处理那些老板的屁事了? and not have to deal with all that owner bullshit?
不，我说过了，我不是流浪狗。 Well, no, as I said, I'm not a stray.
道格和我只是在玩游戏。-嗯。 Doug and I are just playing a game. -Mm-hmm.
你今晚和我们一起出去吧? Look, why don't you come out with us tonight?
你会发现它有多美 And you can learn how beautiful it can be
当你不受约束的时候。 when you're off the leash.
如果我不能让你相信流浪很好， If I can't convince you that being a stray is great,
-废料夜将。一定会的。 - scraps night will. Sure will.
是的。-谢谢你 Yeah. - Well, thank you,
但我真的该回去找道格了 but I really should be getting back to Doug.
怎么啦？为什么? What? Why?
所以我可以让他开心。 So I can make him happy.
这难道不是狗的目的吗? Isn't that a dog's purpose?
你不许再说那种话! Don't you ever say that again!
-我们开始吧。-雷吉，你的目标 - -Here we go. - Reggie, your purpose
不是为了让一些愚蠢的人类家庭幸福。 is not to make some stupid human families happy.
这不是为了让某个单身的失败者感觉更完整。 It's not to make some single loser feel more complete.
你的目的是做…… Your purpose is to do...
布格，亨特和麦琪:随你的便。 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Whatever the fuck you want.
当你是一只流浪狗…… And when you are a stray...
布格、亨特和麦琪:有他妈的很多事要做。 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: There's a lot to fucking do.
为什么我觉得这里有回声? Why do I feel like there's an echo in here?
因为你已经说过无数次了。-我知道。 'Cause you've said this a million times. -I know.
-我喜欢你的高谈阔论。不，没关系。 - I love that spiel. No, it's fine.
它很好。-你自己写演讲稿，好吗? It's fine. -You write your own fucking speeches, okay?
——好的。是的。 - Okay. Yeah.
你们觉得呢，伙计们? Now, what do you say, guys?
-又是一个残羹剩饭之夜?是的。 - Another scraps night? Yes.
好吧，日落时在披萨店见， All right, meet at the pizza place at sundown,
我们会搞砸的。 and we gonna fuck shit up.
♬狂野起来……♪ ♪ Get wild... ♪
那么，什么是残羹剩饭之夜? So, what is scraps night?
这是一周中最美妙的夜晚 It's that one magnificent night of the week
人类更愿意去哪里 where humans are a lot more willing
要么给我们食物，要么不小心掉在地上，要么两者都有。 to give us food or drop it accidentally or both.
他们扔下的东西是金子。 That stuff that they're dropping is gold.
哦。我只是觉得我们会有麻烦的。 Oh. I just feel like we're gonna get in trouble, though.
不，我们在打扫。 No, we're cleaning up.
这些混蛋喜欢我们打扫卫生。 These fuckers love it when we clean up.
等一下。 Wait for it.
把披萨放下，贱人。 Drop the fucking pizza, bitch.
就是这个! That's the one!
-我们开始吧! - Let's do this!
♬我-我-我和我所有的狗在一起 ♪ I-I-I-I'm with all my dogs ♪
♬芬娜把这座城市搞砸了 ♪ Finna fuck the city up ♪
♬口袋鼓鼓的，这些婊子想要打我 ♪ Keep a pocket full, got these bitches wanna hit me up ♪
♬在泳池边喝酒♬ ♪ Drinking by the pool ♪
♬你嗑药了吗?♪ ♪ Doing drugs, is you lit or what? ♪
♬制造出巨大的噪音……♪ ♪ Making hella noise... ♪
这水让我头晕。 This water is making me dizzy.
我要在这破地方晕头晕脑了。 Oh, it's about to get real dizzy up in this bitch.
哦，我不介意头晕。 Oh, I don't mind feeling dizzy.
别着急，雷吉。-我喜欢。 Pace yourself, Reg. - I like it.
♬狂野起来♬ ♪ Get wild ♪
切斯特，我再说最后一次 Chester, for the last time,
那里又没有栅栏。 there's no fucking fence there.
跟我们一起出去吧。 Just come out with us.
我不能。 I can't.
我告诉你，那里有一道神奇的栅栏。 I'm telling you, there is a magical fence there.
你只是看不见而已。 You just can't see it.
-别这样，切斯特。——切斯特! - Come on, Chester. - Chester!
布格、亨特和麦琪:切斯特!切斯特! BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Chester! Chester!
说实话，这很有说服力，我不知道为什么。 Honestly, that is persuasive, and I don't know why.
真不敢相信我要这么做。 Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this.
别像个娘们一样，照做。 Stop being a pussy, and do this.
好吧。 Okay.
快跑! Run!
切斯特! Chester!
切斯特!切斯特!来吧! Chester! Chester! Come on!
你说对了，切斯特!你说对了! You've got it, Chester! You've got it!
该死的! Goddamn!
它是真实的!魔法栅栏是真的! It's real! The magic fence is real!
♬大狗地位，大狗行李 ♪ Big dog status, big dog baggage ♪
大狗，去你的，我有大狗的习惯 ♪ Big dog, fuck it, I got big dog habits ♪
♬看，我在油漆中努力，造成伤害 ♪ See, I'm going hard in the paint, doing damage ♪
♬大狗告诉我做吧，看起来我很普通…♪ ♪ Big dog tell me do it, look like I'm average... ♪
哦,是的。你会得到它的。 Oh, yeah. You gonna get it.
有人淘气了。 Somebody been naughty.
你这只调皮的猫头鹰。你这只调皮的小猫头鹰。 You a naughty owl. You a little naughty owl.
你说得对，布格。 You're right, Bug.
我喜欢这种驼背。 I like this humping.
布格，我能尝尝你的猫头鹰吗? Bug, can I try your owl?
我告诉过你残羹剩饭之夜会很疯狂的，宝贝。 I told you scraps night was gonna be off the chain, baby.
-我玩得很开心。-这不是关于一个婊子。 - I'm having a great time. - Ain't this about a bitch.
看看这个混蛋。 Look at this motherfucker right here.
你想要什么?嗯,家的? What you want? Huh, homey?
我要把你的蛋蛋扯下来。 I'll rip your motherfucking nuts off.
-来吧，我们走。-尖耳朵的混蛋。 - Come on, let's go. - Pointy-eared motherfucker.
来吧。不值得。 Come on. It's not worth it.
给你，雷吉。-我还好吗? There you go, Reg. - I'm doing good?
把它给他。把它给那个地精，雷吉。 Give it to him. Give it to that gnome, Reg.
告诉那个侏儒你是他爸爸。 Tell that gnome you're his daddy.
嘿，侏儒，我是你爸爸。 Hey, gnome, I'm your father.
-很高兴终于见到你了。-呃雷吉… - It's good to finally meet you. - Uh, Reggie...
即使在这种奇怪的情况下。 Even under these strange circumstances.
-不，雷吉。——雷吉! - No, Reggie. - Reggie!
哦，你抓不到我。 Oh, you can't get me.
啊哈，我对你来说太快了。 Aha, ah-- I'm too fast for you.
我跑得太快了。这狗娘养的跟上了。 I'm too fast for you. This motherfucker is keeping up.
来吧，我们走。-谁是你的混蛋朋友 Come on, let's go. -Who your little bitch-ass friend
在家里烫发什么的? with the motherfucking home perm and shit?
-你刚刚说什么?-给你，雷吉。 - What did you just say? - There you go, Reg.
别那样看着我。-到他屁股上去。 Don't you look at me like that. -Get up in his ass.
我可不希望这事演变成暴力。 I would hate for this to get violent.
我不知道我有个儿子。 I didn't know I had a son.
他是万物的地精。哦，Reggie! And he's a gnome of all things. -MAGGIE: Oh, Reggie!
天啊，闭嘴!有人想上我儿子吗? God, shut up! -Does anyone want to hump my son?
他穿着一件漂亮的小上衣。 He's handsomely dressed in a smart little tunic.
哟,切斯特。你真有种，宝贝。 Yo, Chester. You got balls, baby.
那个魔法栅栏是合法的。 That magic fence was legit.
我一直跟你说! I kept telling you!
魔法栅栏是多么奇怪的东西啊。 What a weird thing a magic fence would be to make up.
我可以做任何事。 I can do anything.
雷吉,不要。等待,等待。 Reggie, don't. Wait, wait.
-怎么回事?-雷吉，不要。 - What's going on? - Reggie, no.
-别这么做。雷吉,不。 - Don't do it. Reggie, no.
我可以做任何事。 I can do anything.
不要尝试黑魔法，孩子。 Do not test the dark arts, kid.
♬狂野起来。♪ ♪ Get wild. ♪
哦,开枪! Oh, shoot!
-太他妈棒了!——不可思议的! - That was fucking amazing! - Incredible!
——是的!你做到了! - Yeah! You did it!
-不可能。雷吉! - That's impossible. Reggie!
我做到了!我做到了! I did it! I did it!
哦，多么美妙的一晚。 Oh, what a night.
雷吉，我一闻你的屁眼就知道了 Reg, I could tell the moment I sniffed your anus
你是个好人。 you're a great guy.
-你是个传奇。是的,宝贝。 - You're a legend. Yeah, baby.
我告诉过你流浪的生活是最好的生活。 I told you strays life is the best life.
是的，你得承认 Yeah, you got to admit,
放松一下很有意思，对吧? it's fun to be off leash for a bit, right?
对吧?-是啊，是挺棒的 Right? -Yeah, well, it is kind of awesome
不用憋尿十个小时 not having to hold my pee for ten hours
-直到道格让我出去。 - until Doug lets me outside.
我喜欢"传奇"这个词 And I like the sound of "legend"
比"屎包"好多了。" a lot more than "shitbag."
伙计们，我还在尿尿。 Guys, I'm still peeing.
等等，他真的这么叫你吗? Wait, is that really what he called you?
我真的不怀念在车里烤 And I really don't miss roasting in the car
当他在商店停下来离开我的时候 when he stops at a store and he leaves me
窗户的裂缝只是一点点 with the windows cracked just barely enough
-让我保持清醒。等等,什么? - for me to stay conscious. Wait, what?
我只是喘着气，喘着气 And I'm just panting, gasping for air
努力活到45分钟后他回来。 and trying to survive until he comes back in 45 minutes.
经典的道格。太搞笑。 Classic Doug. Too funny.
所以这个人无视你，把你扔到街上， So, this guy neglects you, throws you on the street,
你还觉得他是个好人吗? and you still think he's a good guy?
是的。如果道格不喜欢我， Yeah. I mean, if Doug doesn't like me,
他为什么让我吃他剩下的人类食物? why does he let me eat his leftover human food?
这样他就不用买狗粮了。 So he doesn't have to buy dog food.
他为什么不给你戴项圈和标签? And why didn't he put a collar and tags on you?
因为他不相信标签。 Because he doesn't believe in labels.
得了吧，雷吉。 Oh, come on, Reg.
还有他给我的大手帕 And the bandanna he gave me
比项圈特别多了吗 is way more special than a collar
因为他用它治鸡鸡打喷嚏。 'cause he used it for his penis sneezes.
——电子战。——电子战。 - Ew. - Ew.
道格爱我。 Doug loves me.
我们的关系很好。 We have a good relationship.
你只是不了解情况 You just don't understand the situation,
因为如果道格是个坏人 because if Doug's such a bad guy
他是故意离开我的 and he-he left me on purpose
他是故意伤害我的，那就意味着… and he hurt me on purpose, that would mean...
那就意味着…… that would mean...
道格不爱我。 Doug doesn't love me.
你们能给我点时间吗? Can, uh, you guys just give me a second?
可怜的小家伙。 Oh, poor little guy.
这就是典型的有毒关系。 That is just the classic toxic relationship.
我应该跟他谈谈。我是一只治疗犬。 I should probably talk to him. I am a therapy dog.
不，给他点空间。 Nah, give him some space.
这孩子经历了很多。 Kid's been through a lot.
这就是你的声音 That's what you fucking sound like,
你这狗屎。 you piece of shit.
哦，滚开!得到, Oh, get off! Get--
坏狗!坏狗!坏狗! Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad dog!
世界上最坏的狗。 Worst dog in the fucking world.
嘿,雷吉。 Hey, Reggie.
我知道你现在很受伤 I know you're feeling hurt right now
那一定很难受吧 and it's-- ugh-- must be so hard
想办法做什么… to figure out what to do...
我要回道格家了。 I'm going back to Doug's.
——什么?-他妈的，伙计? - What? - The fuck, man?
你要怎么才能明白 What's it gonna take for you to understand
他不是在跟你玩游戏吗? that he's not playing a game with you?
我不是在跟他玩游戏。 And I'm not playing a game with him.
好吧…… Okay...
我这辈子都觉得自己一文不值 All my life, I felt like I wasn't worth anything
除非我听到那句"好孩子" unless I heard those words, "Good boy,"
但是他们没有来。 but they never came.
他得知道他伤害了我。 Well, he needs to know he's hurt me.
他需要感受我的痛苦。 He needs to feel my pain.
他要为他的所作所为付出代价 And he needs to pay for what he did
和他唯一爱的人在一起。 with the only thing he truly loves.
我要咬掉他的鸡巴。 I'm gonna bite his dick off.
——哦。-等等，他刚才说咬… - Oh. - Wait, did he just say bite...
是啊，我还是有点醉 Yeah, I-I'm still a little drunk,
但我刚才是不是听到你说你要… but did I just hear you say that you were gonna...
我说了我要咬掉他的老二。 I said I'm gonna bite his dick off.
-哦，我百分百同意。不不不不不不。 - Oh, I'm 100% in for this. No, no, no, no, no.
Bug。等等，等等，等等。请雷吉。 Bug. Wait, wait, wait. Reggie, please.
我理解你，真的，但这太疯狂了。 I feel you-- I really do-- but this-this is insane.
是啊，也许有 Yeah, like, maybe there's
一个你可以咬下的鸡巴。 a metaphorical dick you could bite off.
你可以假装我的老二是他的老二， Like-like-like you could pretend my dick is his dick,
你可以狠狠地教训它一顿。 and you could give it a stern talking-to.
不，他的老二，没有例外。 No, his dick-- no exceptions.
玩那个东西是他最喜欢的活动 Playing with that thing was his favorite activity
直到他开始把东西放进盒子里。 until he started putting things in boxes.
盒子吗?-哦,大便。这意味着他很快就要搬走了。 Boxes? -Oh, shit. That means he's moving soon.
——移动?哦,上帝。哦,男人。 - Moving? Oh, God. Oh, man.
-如果我们来晚了怎么办?-冷静点。 - Wh-What if we're too late? - Calm down.
我们的时间肯定不多了。 We definitely don't have much time.
任何你记得的地方，气味，地标 Any places, smells, landmarks you remember
在来这里的路上? on the road to get here?
呃，我只是…我记得路过 Uh, I-I just... I-I remember passing
一个巨大的仓鼠轮。 an enormous hamster wheel.
-好吧，仓鼠轮。-一个巨大的蛋筒 - Okay, hamster wheel. - Uh, uh, a giant cone
看起来像是亨特的。 that looked like Hunter's.
巨大的圆锥体，看起来像亨特的。好吧。 Giant cone that looked like Hunter's. Okay.
和…还有天上的魔鬼。 And the... and the devil in the sky.
还有天上的魔鬼。繁荣!这基本上是一个路线图 And the devil in the sky. Boom! That's basically a road map
对着这家伙的蛋奶糊发射器。 right to this guy's custard launcher.
布格，不可能的。这是不可能的。 Bug, there's no way. It's impossible.
不。不，不，不，不完全是。 Nah. No, no, no, not quite.
雷吉没机会了 Reggie's got no shot
独自回到过去的梦想， of making it back in time on his own,
但如果我们都去，我有街头智慧 but if we all go, I got the street smarts,
你有肌肉，麦琪有 you got the muscle, and Maggie's got
嗅觉好到连屁眼都能闻到 a sense of smell so good she could sniff one asshole
告诉你那家伙三顿早餐前吃了什么。 and tell you what the guy ate three breakfasts ago.
-一堆镍币。——没错。 - Bunch of nickels. - Exactly.
她是不可思议的。 She's incredible.
伙计们，我们能行的。 Guys, we can do this.
-不，不可能…-我加入。 - No, there is no way... - I'm in.
…我想念这个。 ...I am missing this.
让我们开始吧! Let's do it!
真的吗?你们会为我这么做吗? Really? You guys would do this for me?
地狱是啊。我们支持你，雷吉。 Hell yeah. We got your back, Reg.
是的。好了，伙计们。 Yeah. All right, guys.
让这些人类看看他们不能把我们扔到一边 Let's show these humans they can't toss us aside
不用面对什么糟糕的后果。 without facing some bad fucking consequences.
伙计们。 Fellas.
女士。 Lady.
我们去找点鸡巴吧。 Let's go get some dick.
咆哮。 Howling.
——嚎叫。咆哮。 - Howl. Howling.
我只是不擅长咆哮。 I'm just not a great howler.
♬是啊，言语就是纽带 ♪ Yeah, word is bond ♪
♬Das EFX在这里，你知道我在说什么吗?♪ ♪ Das EFX in this, you know what I'm sayin'? ♪
直接从下水道出来，话就是纽带，耶 ♪ Straight from the sewer, word is bond, yeah ♪
在你毁了你自己之前，检查一下你自己 ♪ Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self ♪
因为我对你的健康有害 ♪ 'Cause I'm bad for your health ♪
♬我真的隐身了♬ ♪ I come real stealth ♪
去你妈的!向你妈妈扔炸弹，去你妈的汽车警报器 Fuck you! ♪ Dropping bombs on your moms, fuck car alarms ♪
♬犯了重罪，我就是那个和‘你’阿尔卑斯在一起的兄弟 ♪ Doing foul crime, I'm that brotha wit' yo' Alpine ♪
♬以六零的价格卖掉了，总是让花招知道 ♪ Sold it for a six-o, always let tricks know ♪
♬朋友们知道我们得到了印度♬ ♪ And friends know we got the indo ♪
不，我不是坐在痛苦屋里的傻瓜 ♪ No, I'm not a sucker sitting in a House of Pain ♪
♬不，我不是管家，我会切断你♬ ♪ And no, I'm not the butler, I'll cut ya ♪
♬这又不是他妈的电影 ♪ This ain't no fucking motion picture ♪
♬不管是男人还是女人，我都要和你在一起，然后打你 ♪ A guy or bitch-a, I'll get wit' cha and hit ya ♪
♬牵着牦牛的脖子，所以你最好检查一下♬ ♪ Taking that yak to the neck, so you better run a check ♪
所以来吧，检查一下你的自我 ♪ So come on and chickity-check yo' self ♪
去你妈的!在你毁掉自己之前，先检查一下自己 Fuck you! ♪ Before you wreck yo' self, chickity-check yo' self ♪
在你毁了自己之前，男孩 ♪ Before you wreck yo' self, boy ♪
在你毁了你自己之前，检查一下你自己 ♪ Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self ♪
因为猎枪子弹对你的健康有害…♪ ♪ 'Cause shotgun bullets are bad for your health... ♪
咆哮。 Howling.
♬检查一下。♪ ♪ Check it. ♪
为什么没人告诉我们狗会旅行 Why didn't nobody tell us that dog journeys
真他妈累人? are so fucking exhausting?
-是的。-这太残忍了 - Yeah. - Oh, this is brutal.
我答应做这件事的时候还醉着呢。 I was still drunk when I agreed to do this.
-是的，我饿了。-是啊，我饿死了。 - Yeah, I'm hangry. - Yeah, I'm starving.
我刚吐在那边，所以可能有 I just threw up over there, so there might be
如果你想给它一个…-哦。 something in there if you want to give it a... -Ooh.
好吧。 Okay.
我打赌那是昨晚吃的披萨。 I bet that's some of the pizza from last night.
是啊，里面有很多好东西。 Oh, yeah, lot-lots of good shit in there.
哦，那是五分硬币。 Oh, there's those nickels.
伙计们，我们得继续走了。 Guys, we-we got to keep moving.
你不会错过这个的。 You can't miss this thing.
它就像一个巨大的仓鼠轮 It's like a giant hamster wheel
但没有仓鼠，闻起来像热狗。 but without the hamster and it smells like hot dogs.
闻起来像热狗? Smells like hot dogs?
这是她的超能力。她难以置信。 This is her superpower. She's unbelievable.
-看看他的鼻子。你有什么发现吗? - Look at that nose. You got something?
等一下。 Wait a minute.
等等，你闻到了吗? Wait, d-do you smell that?
我闻到了塑料的味道。 I just smell plastic.
哦,是的。哦。 Oh, yeah. Oh.
是的，我知道了。 Yeah, I've got it.
她要走了。我们要跟着她吗? She's walking away. Should we follow her?
我要跟着她。 I'm gonna follow her.
不不不不不不。香肠就是那个 No, no, no, no, no. A sausage is the one
看起来像屎，但尝起来不像屎。 that looks like shit but it don't taste like shit.
好吧。什么是热狗? Okay. What is a hot dog?
人。嘘。放弃。看。 Guys. Shh. Drop it. Look.
-这是什么鬼东西?-就是这样。 - What the fuck is this? - That's it.
巨大的仓鼠轮。 The giant hamster wheel.
-我们走对了。好了，伙计们。 - We're on the right track. All right, guys.
时间紧迫，但亨特会死的 We're on a time crunch, but Hunter's gonna die
如果我们不给他吃点东西，好吗? if we don't get some food in him, okay?
麦琪，你和亨特在一起。 Maggie, you hang with Hunter.
明白了。不错的计划。 Gotcha. Good plan.
-雷吉，你知道现在几点了吗?——嗯… - Reg, you know what time it is? - Uh...
-吃东西的时间到了。该死的正确的。-这是食物…是啊，吃饭时间到了。 - It's grub time. Damn right. - It's grub... yeah, grub time.
-我们去找点吃的吧。-我们去找点吃的吧。 - Let's get some grub. - Let's get some grub.
这地方真他妈奇怪。 This fucking place is weird.
那么奇怪。 So weird.
我从来都不了解人类， I never really can understand humans, man,
尤其是浅色的那种。 especially, like, the lighter-shade ones.
他们是些奇怪的混蛋。 They some strange motherfuckers.
我也是这么想的。 I was thinking the same thing.
-嗨。 - Hey.
嗯…你的狗搞砸了我的镜头。 Um... your dog messed up my shot.
-我想他是在告诉我 - Uh, I think he's telling me
我应该付钱让你再拍一张。 I should pay for you to take another one.
哦，是这样吗? Oh, is that right?
是的，这就是…他就是这么说的。 Yeah, that's what... that's what he was saying.
-我保证。 - I promise.
我不会…我不会编造 I wouldn't... I wouldn't make it up,
但他是个好……他有好主意。 but he's a good... he's got good ideas.
我能看出来詹姆斯的感觉不一样 I could tell James felt different
关于这个人类女孩。 about this human girl.
也许是因为她闻起来像饼干。 Maybe it was because she smelled like biscuits.
也可能是因为 Or maybe it was because
她身上有些特别的地方。 something about her was special.
原谅我。你知道这附近哪里有吃的吗? Excuse me. Do you know where we can get some food around here?
就像我说的， As I was saying,
詹姆斯以为他是在帮这个女孩， James thought he was helping this girl,
但事实是她在帮他。 but the truth is she was helping him.
哦，去他的。 Oh, fuck this bullshit.
等等，他在干什么? Wait, what is he doing?
我以前见过这种事。 I've seen this shit before.
他是那种叙述者。 He's one of those narrator dogs.
嘿!没人会听你蹩脚的人类故事， Hey! No one's listening to your lame human story,
你他妈的笨蛋。 you fucking dumbass.
可悲的是，小狗是对的。 Sadly, the little dog was right.
没人听我的故事。 No one was listening to my story.
这太糟糕了，因为我是唯一一个 Which is too bad because I'm the only one
他知道詹姆斯是个冷血的连环杀手 who knows James is a cold-blooded serial killer.
他已经在后院埋了三具尸体， He's got three bodies buried in the backyard already,
但我想没人感兴趣。 but I guess no one's interested.
我真不敢相信那只狗。 I can't believe that dog.
他太迷恋他的主人了 He was so obsessed with his owner
他甚至不跟我们打招呼。 he didn't even acknowledge us.
我告诉你，孩子， I'm-a tell you, kid,
他们一把你绑起来，就把你的蛋蛋剪掉 the moment they leash you up, snip your balls
就是他们抓住你的那一刻。 is the moment they got you by 'em.
等一等。他们会剪掉你的蛋蛋? Hold on. They snip your balls?
-是啊。——啊。 - Oh, yeah. - Ugh.
我想他们也在收集这些， And I think they're collecting those, too,
-放入巧克力。来吧! - to put in the chocolate. Come on!
-把你的热狗拿过来!-该死。看。 - Get your hot dogs here! - Oh, shit. Look.
-我有巨型狗!-好吧，计划是这样的。 - I got jumbo dogs! - Okay, here's the plan.
你去拿香肠，我去那边 You grab the sausages, and I'll go over there
然后操他的腿来转移注意力。 and fuck the guy's leg as a distraction.
和…打破! And... break!
我觉得没必要操那家伙的腿， Uh, I don't think fucking the guy's leg is necessary,
但我看到你已经开始了。好吧。 but I see you've already started. All right.
-给我，给我，给我 - Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme.
——兔子!你赢了! - Bunny! You won!
-我不敢相信我赢了!——是的! - I can't believe I won! - Yeah!
哦，看那只玩具兔子。 Oh, look at that toy bunny.
你知道，还不到一天， You know, it hasn't even been a day yet,
但我真的很想念玩具。 but I really miss toys.
珍娜有一些不错的想法。 Jenna had some good ones.
我会把它撕成碎片 I'd rip that shit apart
直到我发现了中间那个吱吱作响的玩具。 until I found that squeaky toy in the middle.
我也想念吱吱作响的玩具。 Ugh, I miss squeaky toys, too.
但是，当然，我只玩 But, of course, I only got to play
如果我是个好女孩的话 with those squeak toys if I was a good girl
我对着她愚蠢的自拍笑了。 and I smiled the right way for her stupid freaking selfies.
让自己看起来可爱需要付出多少努力。 The amount of work that goes into looking cute.
说实话，我得去转转 Honestly, I had to go spin around
在这样一个完美的圆圈里， in a perfect circle like this,
摆出一副“哦，我真该死”的姿势 move into a "oh, I'm so fuckable" pose
双手交叉， with my paws crossed,
然后我就得站直，爪子翘起来 and then I'd have to stand up straight, paws up.
我得把奶子都露出来。 I have to show all my tits.
是啊，对，那真是太他妈操蛋了。 Yeah, right, that-- yeah, that's pretty fuckable.
我是说，呃，那…不同的奇怪。 I mean, uh, that-that... that's-that's weird.
等等，他们来了。 Wait, uh, there they are.
你知道吗，麦琪，有… You know, Maggie, there's, um...
除了你的长相，我还有很多喜欢你的地方。 there's so much more to like about you than just your looks.
-你这么认为?——确定。 - You think so? - Sure.
我是说，你是轻而易举的 I-I mean, you are hands down
他是我见过的最棒的嗅探员 the best sniffer I've ever met.
——嗯。-但你也很聪明 - Huh. - But you're also smart
你可以跳得很高 and you can jump high
你知道大概有9个人类单词。 and you know like nine human words.
这是疯狂的。 That's insane.
其实我知道31个，不过谢谢你。 I actually know 31, but thank you.
说实话，我还得再列举20多件事 Honestly, I-I'd have to list about 20 more things
在我和你有任何关系之前 before I even got to anything to do with
你真漂亮。 how beautiful you are.
嗯… Um...
对不起，我太过分了。 I'm sorry, that was too much.
不，那对我很重要。 No, that-that means a lot to me.
你知道吗，你是个很好的倾听者。 You know, you're a really good listener.
哦，那是因为所有的声音 Oh, that's because all the sound
从锥体直通我的耳朵。 funnels through the cone right to my ears.
不，我没有…… No, I didn't...
-没关系。-等等，等等。怎么啦？ - Never mind. - Wait, wait. What?
你有没有想过……把蛋筒拿下来 Have you ever thought about... about taking the cone off
只是为了……只是为了看看? for a little while just to... just to see?
不。 No.
我打赌你一定很帅。 I bet you'd look really handsome.
真的吗? Really?
是的。 Yeah.
你就该这么做，雷吉，宝贝。 BUG That's how you do it, Reg, baby.
太棒了! That was awesome!
哦，等一下。好吧，这是什么感觉? Oh, wait a minute. Okay, what's this vibe?
-哦，不。-哦，没什么。 - Oh, no. - Oh, nothing.
-是啊，什么氛围?——什么都没有。 - Yeah, what vibe? - Nothing.
-什么氛围?-没有气氛。 - What vibe? - There is no vibe.
你的勃起暗示着你们之间有默契。 Your boner implies that there's a vibe.
哦，嗯，你知道，那是因为我们的友谊… Oh, uh, well, you know, that's because our friendship...
让我勃起。 got me erect.
对，是朋友的小弟弟。 Yeah, it was a friend boner.
那你为什么不为我们做点什么? Then why don't you get boners for us?
我是说，我们不是你朋友吗? I mean, uh, are we not your friends?
怎么啦？不，不，你们总是让我硬起来。 What? No, no, you guys get me hard all the time.
亨特，这是我听过最贴心的话了。 Hunter, that's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
说到鸡鸡，来点香肠怎么样? Speaking of boners, how about some sausages?
我们从一个人类身上抢来的。 We took 'em from a human.
你从人类那里偷来的?如果有人看见了怎么办? You stole these from a human? What if someone saw?
放松。再长出一些睾丸。 Relax. Grow back some testicles.
-没人看见。 - Ain't nobody saw.
上帝看到了! God saw!
上帝看到了一切! God sees everything!
——跑! - Run!
-我们被攻击了!-救救你们自己! - We're under attack! - Save yourselves!
我们得找个掩体! We got to find cover!
整个地方都会爆炸的! The whole fucking place is gonna blow!
动!动! Move! Move!
哦,上帝! Oh, God!
我们都会死的! We're all gonna die!
妈妈! Mama!
——哇。 - Wow.
——鸭子!保持低! - Duck! -Stay low!
-他们把我们包围了!-快，快，快! - They got us surrounded! - Go, go, go!
——跑!-他们在追我们! - Run! - They're coming after us!
这种方式!快点! This way! Hurry!
圆锥体里太吵了! It's so loud inside the cone!
-该死。——没有。 - Oh, shit. - No.
-不，不，不，不!-我们得过去。 - No, no, no, no, no, no! - We got to get over.
我们得挖。我们得挖! We got to dig. We got to dig!
挖。挖得更快。 Dig. Dig faster.
亨特，麦琪，帮我们挖。 Hunter, Maggie, help us dig.
——什么?这是怎么呢-快点，麦琪，挖! - What? What's going on? - Come on, Maggie, dig!
-你说你喜欢挖土。-我撒谎了! - You said you love digging. - I lied!
-我讨厌挖!-好了。 - I hate digging! - There we go.
好了，我们走吧。 Okay, let's go.
哦，我讨厌指甲下的泥土! Oh, I hate how the dirt feels under my nails!
等待,等待。伙计们，我卡住了! Wait, wait. Guys, I'm stuck!
我的大手帕卡住了! My bandanna's stuck!
啊! Aah!
-哦，不。——雷吉! - Oh, no. - Reggie!
-雷吉，不要!-雷吉，别这样，伙计 - Reggie, no! - Reggie, come on, buddy.
麦琪，亨特，帮帮我。 Maggie, Hunter, help me out.
不，不，不。滚出去。 No, no, no, no. Get out of here.
对我来说太迟了。 It-It's too late for me.
听我说。现在还不算太晚。 Listen to me. It's not too late.
不。拯救你自己。 No. Save yourself.
告诉道格我想咬掉他的老二。 And tell Doug I wanted to bite his dick off.
如果可以的话，替我咬一口。 Bite it for me, if you can.
看着我。你会活下去的， Look at me. You're gonna live,
你自己去咬那个鸡巴吧。 and you're gonna bite that dick yourself.
亨特，围栏! Hunter, the fence!
看看这个。 Check this out.
来吧。 Come on.
天啊，他们有炸弹! Holy shit, they have a bomb!
-拜托，雷吉。-别这样。 - Come on, Reggie. - Come on.
我差不多有空了。我差不多有空了。 I'm almost free. I'm almost free.
-拜托，雷吉!——啊! - Come on, Reggie! - Aah!
啊!来吧，我们走! Aah! Come on, let's go!
我们走，走，走，走! Let's move, move, move, move!
来吧，伙计们，我们走! Come on, guys, let's go!
哦，好吧，呃… Oh, well, uh...
你们想亲一下吗? You guys want to kiss a little?
-我的天啊!天呐 - Oh, my God! Holy shit.
伙计们，这太疯狂了。 Guys, that was crazy.
我觉得我现在需要一只情感支持的狗。 I feel like now I need an emotional support dog.
布格，(笑)你看起来就像要拉屎一样。 Bug, (laughs) you looked like you were gonna shit yourself.
我做到了。我真的做到了。 I did. I literally did that.
哦,上帝。他说了。我踩进去了。 Oh, God. -HUNTER: He did. I stepped in it.
-雷吉，你没事吧? - Reg, you okay?
呃，没什么。我… Uh, it's nothing. I-I...
只是，你们为我冒了生命危险。 It's just, you guys risked your life for me.
布格，你救了我。 Bug, you saved me.
我从没想过会有人这么做。 I never thought anyone would do that.
我们当然会。来吧。 Of course we would. Come on.
你是族群的一员，雷吉。 You're part of the pack, Reggie.
-我们团结在一起。这是正确的。 - We stick together. That's right.
我以前从没加入过族群。 I've never been part of a pack before.
好吧，你现在是。 Well, you are now.
我都不知道有这个东西。 I didn't even know that was a thing.
-我们会有结果的。 - We'll make it a thing.
是的。 Yeah.
我有个奇怪的想法。 So, I kind of have a weird idea.
可以…我们能不能…… Could... could we maybe...
在对方身上撒尿? pee on each other?
现在说什么? Say what, now?
是你说的 Well, you said that
当你尿在属于你的东西上时。 when you pee on something that it's yours.
我只是觉得，既然我们都， I just thought that, since we're all,
现在是朋友了，我们可以… like, friends now, we could...
在对方身上撒尿，这样我们就属于对方了? Pee on each other so we belong to each other?
是的。 Yeah.
那是个愚蠢的主意。 That was a stupid idea.
如果我满身是尿回家，詹娜会气疯的。 Jenna would be so mad if I came home covered in urine.
-就他妈干吧。哦，我们正在做。 - Let's fucking do it. Oh, we're doing it.
好吧。为什么我们不，像，像，像，一个圈? Okay. Why don't we, like, do, like, a circle thing?
对，把左腿抬起来。右舷的一面。 Yeah, and let's just lift our left leg. -Starboard side.
是的，抬起我们的左腿，然后我们…-好了。 Yeah, lift our left leg, and then we'll... -There we go.
-太好了，我要在布格身上撒尿了。-是的，很好。 - Oh, good, I get to pee on Bug. - Yeah, that's good.
哇。 Whoa.
你知道，这不仅仅是让我的身体暖和起来。 You know, this isn't just warming my body.
它温暖着我的心。 It's warming my heart.
哦。哇。 Aw. Wow.
我想我们现在是一家人了。 I guess this makes us family now.
-是的，我们是最好的朋友。是的。 - Yeah, we're BFFs. Yeah.
那就更好了。我们Pee-FFs。 Even better. We're Pee-FFs.
Pee-FFs !我喜欢它。 Pee-FFs! I love it.
-是的。爱。哦,错误! - Yeah. Love that. Oh, Bug!
你看起来很高兴。 You look happy.
你在说什么，我看起来很开心吗? What are you talking about, I look happy?
我笑是因为我们都坐在这里 I'm just smiling because we're all sitting here
互相撒尿，所以我… pissing on each other, so I just...
我笑了。这不是感情用事。 I cracked a smile. It's not an emotional thing.
-不，你爱我们。你爱我们! - Nah, you love us. You love us!
好了，就这样。是的，没错。你做的事情。 Okay, that's it. -HUNTER: Yeah, that's right. You do.
-我该上床睡觉了。-别这样，布格。 - That's my cue to go to bed. - Oh, come on, Bug.
听着，听着，我们还有很多路要走 Look, listen, listen, we got a lot of walking to do
而且时间也不多了。 and not much time to do it.
我们睡一会儿吧。 Let's get some sleep.
等一下。 H-H-Ho-Hold on one second.
-往回走。-换种方式更好。 - Go back the other way. - Better the other way.
试着嗅一嗅地面。你试过嗅一下地面吗? Try sniffing the ground. H-Have you tried sniffing the ground?
-搞砸了。-你得重置自己。 - Fucked that one up. - You got to reset yourself.
-对，你向后90度。-那个也搞砸了。 - Yeah, you go back 90 degrees. - Fucked that one up, too.
-你差一点就成功了。现在坐下。 - You were so close. Now sit down.
-行了。要做的。-好了，终于来了。 - That'll do. That'll do. - All right, finally, good.
-该睡觉了。是的。好吧。我们睡一会儿吧。 - Time for bed. Yeah. Okay. Let's get some sleep.
然后快速转弯。 And a quick turn.
-该去睡觉了…——等待。坚持下去。一。 - Time to go to sl... - Wait. Hang on. -One turn.
-两圈。三个回合。哦,上帝。 - Two turns. Three turns. Oh, God.
布格把我脑子弄得一团糟。我不知道…… Bug's really fucked with my head. I don't know...
——有。五个 - There. Five,
-四，三，二，一。再一次。再一次。好吧。 - four, three, two, one. Again. Again. Okay.
好了，好了，我准备好了。 Okay, okay, now I'm ready.
一件容易的事。 Easy.
和…下来。 And... down.
我的速度越来越快了。 I'm getting much faster at that.
-大家晚安。-晚安，雷吉。 - Good night, everyone. - Good night, Reg.
-晚安，雷吉。-再次谢谢你 - Good night, Reggie. - And, uh, thanks again
谢谢你让我尿在你们身上。 for letting me pee on you guys.
——雷吉?——是吗? - Reggie? - Yeah?
你能别他妈说话了吗? Could you just stop fucking talking, please?
-是的。是的,是的。——好的。 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Okay.
好了,伙计们。今天是个大日子。 Okay, guys. Big day today.
下一个是巨大的蛋筒。 Next up is the giant cone.
我不知道我们会在这里找到什么样的锥体。 I don't know what kind of cone we're gonna find out here.
不会太难找的。这是巨大的。 It can't be too hard to find. It's gigantic.
我看到的都是树，不过无所谓。 All I see is trees, but whatever.
嘿，伙计，你想过要怎么做吗? Hey, mate, have you thought about how you're gonna do it?
呃,抱歉。这样做什么? Uh, sorry. D-Do what?
-咬掉道格的鸡巴——哦。 - Bite Doug's dick off. - Oh.
你是纵向思考还是纵向思考? Were you thinking lengthwise or tip-to-shaft?
天哪，我不知道。我从没咬过鸡巴。 Gosh, I don't know. I-I've never bitten off a dick before.
我想我会让它马上浮现在我的脑海里。 I guess I'll let it just come to me in the moment.
那么，在这次旅行的什么时候你会建立 So, at what point of this trip are you gonna build up
来点BDE，然后行动起来? a little BDE and make a move, huh?
玛吉?是的,杂志……不，用这个长满苔藓的树桩。 With Maggie? -Yes, Mag... No, with this mossy stump.
你他妈以为我在说什么? What the fuck you think I'm talking about?
不可能。她不喜欢我。 No way. She wouldn't go for me.
我是说，也许路的尽头会有一扇门， I mean, maybe a door opens up down the road,
但现在我们只是朋友。 but for now we're just friends.
你在说什么，开门吗? Wh-What are you talking about, opening up doors?
我们没有拇指。 We don't have thumbs.
你他妈得把门敲开。 You got to knock the fucking door down.
是啊，但谁会想约会呢 Yeah, but who would want to date
一只全天候戴着警犬的失败警犬? a failed police dog who wears a cone 24/7?
得了吧，伙计。女孩总是和失败者约会。 Oh, come on, dude. Girls date losers all the time.
雷吉，你知道的，你没必要这么做，对吧? You know, Reggie, that you don't have to do it, right?
你在说什么?我当然知道。 What are you talking about? Of course I do.
我要把他的鸡巴都抓起来。 I'm gonna get all over that dick.
咬，咬，咬。嗯! Chomp, chomp, chomp. Mmm!
是啊，但你可以，忘了道格， Yeah, but you could just, you know, move on from Doug,
然后你就不用对他做任何事了。 and then you wouldn't have to do anything to him at all.
你总是可以放手的。 You could always just let it go.
我不敢… I-I'm not...
不，我不会就这么算了。 No, I'm not just gonna let it go.
好吧，听着， All right, look,
你狗狗学校不及格是因为你是个胆小鬼 you failed doggie school 'cause you was a wuss,
但我们对你的过去无能为力。 but there's nothing we can do about your past.
不过，我们也许能把那东西从你头上取下来。 We might, however, be able to get that thing off your head.
——这?不，不，你不能。-当然可以。 - This? No, no, you can't. - Sure, we can.
如果我们齐心协力，我们就能…… If we all pull together, we could...
不不，我是说，我需要它。 No, no, I mean, I-I need it.
我是故意开着的。 I keep it on intentionally.
等待,真的吗?我只是假设 Wait, really? I just assumed
就像，你知道，医学上的问题。 it was, like, you know, a medical thing.
哦，是的。 Oh, it is.
我愿意做任何事来保住它。 I-I'll do anything to keep it on.
大多数自己造成的伤害都能起到作用。 And most self-inflicted injuries will do the trick.
猫抓伤，上厕所引起的耳朵感染， You know, cat scratches, ear infection from the toilet,
舔我的蛋蛋好几个小时 lick my testicles for hours and hours
直到人类开始担心。 until the humans get concerned.
但这是值得的。我有时会焦虑， But it's worth it. I get anxious sometimes,
这个锥体能帮我屏蔽东西。 and the cone helps me block things out.
你们在说什么? What are you guys talking about?
哦，没什么。你知道，老样子，老样子。 Oh, uh, nothing. You know, same old, same old.
我告诉他，他得 I'm telling him he's got to get
-大屌的能量。——错误。 - that big dick energy. - Bug.
你把第一部分记下来了。 Well, you got the first part down.
谢谢你夸奖我的鸡鸡，麦琪。 Aw, thanks for complimenting my penis, Maggie.
你知道吗，你的阴道也很大。 You know, your vagina's huge, too.
——认真?——大便。我为什么这么说? - Seriously? - Shit. Why did I say that?
雷吉，我问你点事。 Hey, Reg, let me ask you something.
是吗?-你有多确定 Yeah? - How sure are you
大圆锥体在这边吗? that the big cone is this way?
我不知道，从确定到不确定， I don't know, on a scale of sure to not sure,
很确定…… pretty sure...
…我不太确定。这一点我很确定。 ...that I'm not really sure. That I'm sure of.
-我操。我们迷路了。啊,太棒了。 - Holy shit. We're lost. Ah, great.
-我就知道会这样-冷静点，布格。 - I knew this would happen. - Hey, calm down, Bug.
我们会想办法的。情况可能会更糟。 We'll figure it out. This could be a lot worse.
哦，真的吗，亨特?我饿死了, Oh, really, Hunter? I'm starving,
我们他妈完全迷路了，我的小狗崽子要抱抱 we're completely fucking lost, and my little puppy paw pads
现在真的很痛苦 are really hurting right now,
那么，究竟是什么让情况变得更糟呢? so how exactly could this get worse?
嗯?怎么可能呢?告诉我，好吗? Huh? How could it? Tell me, huh?
还能更糟吗? How could it get worse?
-哦，哦，哦! - Oh, oh, oh!
错误!-我为什么说情况会变得更糟? Bug! -Why did I say it could get a lot worse?
哦,狗屎!哦,狗屎!求你了，求你了，别扔下我。 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, please, please, please don't drop me.
-别吃我。这些都不是!错误! - Don't eat me. None of that! Bug!
那只鹰的时机很准。 That eagle has some good timing.
错误!坚持住，伙计! Bug! Hold on, buddy!
雷吉，雷吉，帮帮我。 Reg, Reggie, guys, help me.
问他是否介意把你放低一点! Ask him if he wouldn't mind bringing you lower!
怎么啦？你在说什么? What? What are you talking about?
-我不会说鸟语。-我们真的有麻烦了! - I don't speak bird. - We're in a real pickle!
救命，救命，救命。做点什么。谁来做点什么。 Help, help, help. Do something. Somebody do something.
哦!哦,上帝! Oh! Oh, God!
他妈的! Fuck!
是的!不!妈的，这太疯狂了。 Yes! No! Shit, this is fucking crazy.
-我们要飞得更高。坚持住，伙计。 - We're going higher. Hold on, buddy.
雷吉!错误! Reggie! Bug!
从这个角度看你的蛋蛋好大啊。 Oh, wow, your balls look huge from this angle.
谢谢，但是我操! Thank you, but holy fuck!
那是一只金颊莺。 That is a golden-cheeked warbler.
我一直很想念那个。 I've been missing that one.
嗯… Uh...
检查。 Check.
天呐 Holy shit.
这是我见过的最疯狂的事。 That is the craziest thing I have ever seen.
我是丹尼斯·奎德， And I'm Dennis Quaid,
丹尼斯·奎德也见过。 and Dennis Quaid has seen some shit.
-放我下来，贱人!-虫子，看!在那里! - Let me down, bitch! - Bug, look! Over there!
-巨大的蛋筒!——什么? - The giant cone! - What?
巨大的蛋筒!哦，蛋筒。 The giant cone! Oh, the cone.
妈的，那真是个好消息 Well, shit, that would be great news
如果我们没被这该死的鸟缠住。 if we weren't stuck to this fucking bird.
布格，我有个主意。挂在! Bug, I got an idea. Hang on!
-雷吉，你在干什么? - Reg, what are you doing?
哦,上帝。 Oh, God.
这是大胆的。太大胆了。 That's bold. It's too bold.
我们开始吧! Here we go!
-该死。噢!——啊! - Well, shit. Ow! - Aah!
他妈的!又不是! Fuck! Not again!
雷吉!错误! Reggie! Bug!
啊!的帮助!啊!分支! Aah! Help! Aah! Branch!
狗屎!他妈的!哦!小分支! Shit! Fuck! Oh! Smaller branch!
哇，他们遇到了最坏的情况 Wow, they're hitting a worst-case-scenario
分支的数量。 amount of branches.
爪子，爪子，爪子，爪子，爪子! Paws, paws, paws, paws, paws!
尾巴! Tail!
天啊，我真的很抱歉。 Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
我不是故意这样闯进来的。 I did not mean to barge in like this.
-怎么，你们在摔跤吗? - What, are you guys wrestling?
狗屎! Shit!
错误! Bug!
——雷吉!你活着! - Reggie! You're alive!
操，我屁股上插了根棍子。 Fuck, got a stick up my ass.
嗯，亨特是对的。 Well, Hunter was right.
情况可能会更糟。 That could've been worse.
快他妈从树丛里滚出来。 Just get the fuck out of the bush.
雷吉，你又一次成为了传奇。 Reggie, you are once again a legend.
伙计们，太棒了。 Guys, that was epic.
该死的树叶。放开我。 Fucking leaves. Get off me.
伙计们，你们不会相信的。 Guys, you wouldn't believe it.
-我们看到了巨大的圆锥体。怎么啦？ - We saw the giant cone. What?
是啊，是啊，是啊，是啊。 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we did, we did.
——真的吗?-太棒了。 - Really? - That's amazing.
是啊，这说明我们的方向是对的。 Yeah, that means we're heading in the right direction.
是啊，我不想太俗气， Yeah, a-and not to be cheesy,
但是像那样在天上 but being up in the sky like that
就在我死前不久 just moments from my death,
我学到了人生的真谛。 I-I learned something about life.
-那是什么?——什么? - Wh-What's that? - What?
鸟类没有生殖器。 Birds don't have genitals.
那他们怎么… Well, then how do they...
我不知道。 I don't know.
也许它们两个部分都在里面。 Maybe they have both parts inside.
所以，如果你说"去你妈的" So, if you were to say, "Go fuck yourself,"
他们确实可以做到。 they could actually do it.
那好吧。 Um, okay, then.
那么，嘿，下一个出场的是天上的魔鬼。 So, hey, next up is the devil in the sky.
咆哮。 Howling.
加油，伙计们，我们已经走到一半了。 Come on, guys, we're over halfway there.
嘿，我的嚎叫越来越好了。你们听到了吗? Hey, my howl's getting better. You guys hear that?
-嘿，伙计，呃…——是吗? - Hey, man, uh... - Yeah?
我真的很感激你在上面所做的一切。 I really appreciate what you did up there.
我是说，没必要在对方身上撒尿 I mean, no need to pee on each other
或者类似的事情，但是谢谢。 or anything like that, but thanks.
当然可以。我们Pee-FFs。 Of course. We're Pee-FFs.
我们团结在一起。 We stick together.
好吧，好吧，好吧足够了。 All right, all right, all right. Enough.
把舌头放回嘴里。 Put your tongue back in your mouth.
好吧,好吧。我从来没给雌性狗口交过。 Okay, okay. Never have I ever gone down on a girl dog.
真的吗?严重吗? Really? Seriously?
你们整天舔蛋蛋。 You guys lick your balls all day.
哦，不，不，不。这是不同的。 Oh, no, no, no. That's different.
这是不同的。这是不同的。 That's different. That's different.
有什么不同?这是完全不同的。 H-How is it different? It's way different.
是的。骨头到饼干。 Yeah. Bones to biscuits.
真不敢相信我是唯一一个。 I can't believe that I'm the only one.
什么，你在… What, you went down on a...
我在做实验。 I was experimenting.
-拜托，我才两岁。啊，是的，是的。 - Come on, I was in my twos. Ah, yeah, yeah.
哦，对，那是2。 Oh, yeah, that's the twos.
哦，就像Rumspringa。 Oh, like a Rumspringa.
♬生活在这个蓝色的大世界里……♪ ♪ Living in this big blue world... ♪
好的，我想到一个。你是想吃便便还是… Okay, I got one. Would you rather eat poop or...
BUG, HUNTER和MAGGIE:吃便便。 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Eat poop.
一定要吃便便。 Definitely eat poop.
好吧。但我还没来得及… Okay. But I didn't even get to...
没关系。我喜欢大便。 It doesn't matter. I like poop.
所以,问题。当狗从后面做爱时… So, question. When dogs have sex from behind...
好吧,好吧。 Okay, okay.
-…是什么风格的?这就叫做 - ...what's the style? That's just called
-普通款式。常规的风格。 - regular style. Regular style.
我是说，有没有另一种风格， I mean, is there another style,
还是只有一种款式? or do we only have one style?
我只知道一种做爱方式， I only know one style of fucking,
我一辈子都在做这件事。 and I've been doing it my whole life.
那么什么是人类的风格呢? Then what's human style?
以人类的方式，男孩假装是狗 In human style, the boy pretends to be the dog
女孩假装是沙发。 and the girl pretends to be the couch.
这很复杂。 It's very complicated.
哇，这太复杂了。 Wow, that is complicated.
每个物种都是不同的。 Every species is different.
♬二、四、六、八，我们要感谢谁……♪ ♪ Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate... ♪
好吧，我有个笑话。 All right, I've got a joke.
-敲，敲。 - Knock, knock.
不，不，不。你得问"谁在那儿?" No, no, no. You got to ask, "Who's there?"
哦，哦，好的。明白了，明白了。 Oh, oh, okay. Got it, got it.
咚,咚, Knock, knock.
伙计们,停!你都不让我说笑话那部分。 Guys, stop! You won't even let me get to the joke part.
之后,玛吉。有人在敲门。 Later, Maggie. Somebody's at the door.
门口有个陌生人没什么好笑的。 Nothing funny about a stranger at the door.
你们他妈的都是白痴。 Ugh, you guys are fucking morons.
♬我知道我会很好…♪ ♪ I know I'll be A-O, A-OK... ♪
你们有什么发现吗? You guys got anything yet?
不。伙计，我饿死了。 Nah. Man, and I'm starving.
那边有什么可吃的吗? Anything edible over there?
比如水牛城鸡肉披萨? Like a buffalo chicken pizza?
不，只是松鼠屎。 Nah, just squirrel poops.
不，我不能再吃那玩意了。 Ah, nah, I can't eat no more of that shit.
你知道吗，这对我来说很重要。 You know what, that goes right through me.
嘿，我想我有发现了。 Hey, I think I got something.
你有什么发现? What do you got?
-那是什么?-看起来有点像食物。 - What are those? - Kind of looks like food.
我不…我不知道。 I-I don't... I don't know.
嗯。哦，还不错。 Mmm. Oh, it's not too bad.
我只剩小丑了。 I'm down to clown.
嗯。我们应该吃多少? Mmm. How many of these should we eat?
所有人?是的，这说得通。 Mm, all of them? Yeah, that makes sense.
这些太好吃了。嗯。 These are so good. Mmm.
哦，这个很辣。 Ooh, this one's spicy.
有点疯狂，对吧? Kind of nutty, right?
好吧。 All right.
这应该能hold住我们。 That should hold us.
坚实的晚餐。 Solid dinner.
嗯。好了，我们走吧。 Mmm. All right, let's get moving.
哦,狗屎。等我一下。 Oh, shit. Uh, give me a sec.
哇,哇。 Whoa, whoa.
搞什么鬼? What the fuck?
亨特，你的蛋筒。 Hunter, your cone.
哦,是的。是的，我知道。我应该把它脱了。 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. I should probably take it off.
不,不。它日益增长的。 No, no. It's growing.
我的天啊。 Oh, my God.
Bug。——没有。 Bug. - No.
女声虫… FEMALE VOICE Bug...
不能。 Can't be.
德洛丽丝。 Dolores.
你好,错误。 Hello, Bug.
你在外面干什么? What you doing out here?
我们得谈谈。 We need to talk.
等等,玛吉。你看起来不一样了。 Wait, Maggie. You look different.
真的吗? Really?
哦,狗屎。你看起来也不一样了。 Oh, shit. You look different, too.
-怎么会?-嗯，你有点… - How so? - Um, you kind of...
是我人类的手吗? Is it my human hands?
嘿，你觉得我现在可以弹钢琴了吗? Hey, do you think I could play piano now?
肯定。 Definitely.
道格? Doug?
嘿,雷吉。 Hey, Reggie.
道格! Doug!
最近怎么样? How's it going?
不是很好。 Not great.
最后再刮一刮 Just giving it one last shave,
因为坊间传言你打算把它咬掉。 'cause word on the street is you're planning to bite it off.
这本来应该是个惊喜的。 Oh, that was supposed to be a surprise.
谁告诉你的? Who told you?
-对不起，爸爸。——哦! - Sorry, Daddy. - Oh!
我的儿子，侏儒。 My son, the gnome.
-我们完了，布格。——什么? - We're done, Bug. - What?
-我现在有别人了。——谁? - I'm seeing someone else now. - Who?
开什么玩笑?他吗? You kidding me? Him?
嘿，去你妈的，伙计! Hey, go fuck yourself, man!
实际上我可以。我两个都有! I actually can. I have both parts!
多洛雷斯，回来! Dolores, come back!
他对着天空大喊。 He yelled to the sky.
但布格没有意识到的是…… But what Bug didn't realize...
去你妈的，旁白狗。 Oh, fuck you, narrator dog.
他说。 He said.
不要再说“他说”了。 Stop saying, "He said."
他回答。 He replied.
我一直对你寄予厚望，雷吉。 I always had such high hopes for you, Reggie.
我只是想让你成为一个… I just wanted you to be a...
好男孩。 good boy.
我只想做个好孩子。 All I ever wanted was to be a good boy.
再见,雷吉。 Goodbye, Reggie.
等等!道格，回来! Wait! Doug, come back!
哦,哇。那是什么味道? Oh, whoa. What's that smell?
——什么?关注度高吗? - What? Wh-What?
它来自这里。 It's coming from over here.
亨特，你看到了吗? Hunter, are you seeing this?
亨特和麦琪:玩具! HUNTER and MAGGIE: Toys!
伙计们，快进来。过来。 Guys, get in here. Get over here.
注册,注册!和我一起拉这个。 Reg, Reg! Pull this one with me.
-太软了!-噢，毛茸茸的! - It's squishy! - Oh, fluffy!
我感觉不到我的鼻子了。 I can't feel my snout.
哦，到处都是玩具! Oh, there's toys everywhere!
我真不想让这一天就此结束。 Oh, I don't want this day to ever end.
是的。我,没有。 Yeah. Me, neither.
早上好,伙计。 Morning, guys.
舒服的吗? Comfy?
哦,狗屎。我以为你是德洛丽丝。 Oh, shit. I thought you were Dolores.
我的坏。我要去尿尿。 My bad. I got to go pee.
你脚边是什么，雷吉? What's that by your feet, Reggie?
我的脚吗? My feet?
你在说什么?那是什么? What are you talking about? What is that?
是啊，那是什么? Yeah, what is that?
我的天啊。那是一只耳朵。 Oh, my God. That's an ear.
-耳朵?-我操。 - An ear? - Holy fucking shit.
它们是玩具。伙计们，该死的玩具在哪儿? They were toys. Guys, where are the goddamn toys?
这不是真的。这不是真的。 This is not real. This is not real.
这是真的。 Th-This is real.
这是真的。我的天啊! This is real. Oh, my God!
我们杀了他们! We killed 'em!
我要吐了。 I'm gonna barf.
哦,上帝。呕吐物里有毛。 Oh, God. There's fur in the barf.
我们他妈的是杀人犯!天啊，我要吐了。 We're fucking murderers! Oh, my God, now I'm gonna barf.
神圣的操。神圣的操。这不可能发生。 Holy fuck. Holy fuck. This can't be happening.
坚持下去..别离开我。 Hang in there. Stay with me.
我会治好你的。 I-I'll fix you.
布格，你在干什么? Bug, what are you doing?
我看起来像在做什么? What it look like I'm doing?
我要销毁证据。没人能知道! I'm getting rid of the evidence. Nobody can know!
我们今天聚集在这里向兔女郎们道别。 Um, we are gathered here today to say goodbye to the bunnies.
说实话，我们的行为是个意外。 Honestly, what we did was an accident.
——当然。——嗯。-对。 - Absolutely. - Mm-hmm. -Right.
我知道如果我们没有被我们吃的食物弄糊涂的话 And I know that if we weren't confused from the food we ate
我们绝不会伤害你，把你的四肢都扯下来 we would have never mauled you, tore all your limbs off
一边摇着你们的尸体一边开心地咯咯笑…… and shook your corpses around while giggling gleefully...
偶然。 by accident.
祝福你们，小兔子们。 So, bless you, bunnies.
——是的。对不起。-祝福你。 - Yes. Sorry. - Bless you.
-抱歉。——对不起。 - So sorry. - Sorry.
——阿门。-好了，够了。 - Amen. - All right, that's it.
别再提这件事了。 Never speak of this again.
一个字也不许说，听到了吗? Not one word, you hear me?
一个字也没说。 Not one fucking word.
-什么只字不提?-该死。警察。 - Not one word about what? - Oh, shit. The cops.
"哦，妈的"是对的，混蛋。 "Oh, shit" is right, motherfucker.
等等，我们做了什么?我们是无辜的。我保证。 Wait, wh-what did we do? We're innocent. I promise.
——坐!-是的。 - Sit! - I am.
在地上。躺下，爪子放在我能看见的地方。 On the ground. Lay down, paws where I can see 'em.
-我们躺下了。-搜查这些贱人。 - We are laying down. - Search these bitches.
他们在隐瞒什么。 They're hiding something.
-天啊。我们该怎么办?-冷静点。我来吧。 - Oh, God. What do we do? - Calm down. I got this.
我要用白狗的声音说话。 I'm-a speak with my white dog voice.
你好,警官。 Hello, Officer.
我们都没杀过人 None of us have ever killed
-我们生活中的一只兔子。-麦琪，雷吉，猎人:虫子! - a bunny in our lives. - MAGGIE, REGGIE, HUNTER: Bug!
怎么啦？大家都给我闭嘴。 What? Everybody, shut the fuck up.
我们在找失踪的女童子军莱利·安德森， We're looking for a lost Girl Scout, Riley Anderson,
相当于人类年龄的八岁。 age eight in human years.
两天前从她的营地溜掉了。 Wandered away from her campsite two days ago.
我想你们可能跟她有接触。 Thought you dogs might have some contact with her.
我什么都没有，先生。 I've got nothing, sir.
但闻起来你没有。我们搬出去吧。 But it smells like you haven't. Let's move out.
等待,等待。我可以帮忙。 Wait, wait. I could help.
对不起，我真的不想当那个贱人， I'm sorry, I don't really want to be that bitch,
但我真的很擅长嗅 but I'm actually really good at sniffing,
我很乐意帮忙找到这个失踪的女孩。 and I'd be happy to assist in finding this lost girl.
可爱。不用了，谢谢，澳大利亚的羊屎。 Adorable. Yeah, no, thanks, Australian shep-turd.
对不起，但你真的不应该 Excuse me, but you really shouldn't
像那样跟她说话。 talk to her like that.
那你他妈要怎么做? And what the fuck are you gonna do about it?
我他妈什么都不会做。 I-I will do nothing the fuck about it.
我现在正坐着。 I am sitting down now.
哦,猎人。 Oh, Hunter.
猎人吗? Hunter?
罗尔夫吗? Rolf?
该死的! Holy mother-flipping shit!
我没认出你戴着圆锥体。 I didn't recognize you with the cone.
是啊，我现在有蛋筒了。 Yeah, yeah, I got a cone now.
来吧，兄弟。 Bring it in, bro.
——朋友!-给我们一些。 - Buddy! - Give us some.
天啊，我早该知道的， God, hey, well, I should've known,
因为你的屁眼跟以前一模一样。 'cause your butthole smells exactly the same.
我永远不会忘记这个屁眼。 You know, I'll never forget this butthole.
-他妈的?-你认识这家伙? - The fuck? - You know this guy?
开什么玩笑? You kidding me?
这混蛋和我一起上的警校。 This fucker and I went to the academy together.
我所知道的一切，都是从这个狗娘养的那里学来的。 Everything I know, I learned from this son of a bitch.
严格来说，我们都是狗娘养的，长官。 Technically, we're all sons of bitches, sir.
闭嘴。 Shut up.
你最后去哪了，兄弟? Hey, so where'd you end up, brother?
毒品嗅探，炸弹探测?我们在说什么? Drug sniffing, bomb detection? What are we talking about?
哦，嗯，我照顾垂死的人类。 Oh, um, well, I take care of dying humans.
哦。我是说，我想那也不是世界末日。 Oh. Well, I mean, that's not the end of the world, I guess.
嗯，对他们来说是这样。 Well, for them it is.
嘿，伙计们。 Well, hey, guys.
你找到流浪狗了吗，罗尔夫? You found some strays, Rolf?
嗯?好工作。 Huh? Good job.
你们这些混蛋在这里做什么? So, what are you fuckers doing out here, huh?
好吧，这说来话长。 Oh, uh, well, it's a long story.
我们要咬掉一个人的鸡巴。 We're gonna bite a guy's dick off.
这实际上是一个短篇故事。 It's actually a short story.
好了。伙计，我刚加入警队的时候， Nice. Man, when I joined the force,
你可以左咬右咬。 you could bite dicks left and right.
现在，我咬鸡巴， Nowadays, I chomp a dick,
我得填两周的文件。 I got to fill out two weeks of paperwork.
能给我一辆空调到老森林路54号吗? Can I get an AC unit down to Old Forest Road 54?
我们要去找天上的魔鬼。 We're trying to get to the devil in the sky.
听起来是不是很熟悉? Does that sound familiar?
天上有魔鬼?是的。 Devil in the sky? Yeah.
你跟着我们，我们给你带路。 You stick with us, we'll show you the way.
——哇。真的吗?-没问题，老鼠仔。 - Wow. Really? - Sure thing, rat boy.
下次别等这么久了，好吗? Let's not wait so long next time, huh?
多久没见了，七年了? What's it been, seven years?
我想只有一次，但是每年一次 I think just one, but every year
对我们来说好像是七岁，所以说得通。 feels like seven to us, so that makes sense.
好的,听着。我们得把话说清楚。 Okay, listen. We got to get our story straight.
——嗯。-是只负鼠 - Uh-huh. - It was a possum
谁杀了所有的兔子，明白吗? who killed all the bunnies, got it?
等等，负鼠叫什么名字? Wait, what's the possum's name?
嗯,格雷格。 Uh, Greg.
这可不是负鼠的名字。 That's not a believable name for a possum.
哦，会是蒙蒂吗? Ooh, can it be Monty?
-嘿，凯西。——史蒂夫。谢谢你过来。 - Hey, Cath. - Steve. Thanks for coming over.
嘿，小家伙。要款待一下吗? Hey, little guy. Want a treat?
对待!我喜欢款待! Treats! I love treats!
哦，我的天哪。有人想要款待吗? Oh, my goodness. Does somebody want a treat?
这都是给你的。我得到了很多好吃的。 This one's all for you. I got tons of treats.
雷吉，这是个陷阱! Reggie, it's a trap!
——嘿! - Hey!
嘿,嘿!我们发现那些兔子的时候它们已经死了! Hey, hey! Those bunnies were dead when we found 'em!
那是只负鼠，叫格雷格，还是… It was a possum named, uh, Greg or-or...
蒙蒂!他的名字是蒙蒂，不是格雷格! Monty! His name was Monty, not Greg!
没有选择。他们威胁我们! No choice. They threatened us!
但是，罗尔夫，我以为我们是朋友。 But, Rolf, I thought we were pals.
对不起，老朋友。法律就是法律。 Sorry, old friend. The law's the law.
你知道这是怎么回事。 You know how it is.
真是个虐待狂。 What a sadistic fuck.
冷静点，小甜心。你们都会没事的。 Hey, calm down, sweetie pie. You'll all be fine.
你有标签，他们会送你回家的。 You got tags, they'll send you home.
-哇，鲜肉。-嘿，大男孩。 - Whoa, fresh meat. - Hey, big boy.
-我喜欢那只的嘴巴。-我们要好好拥抱一下! - I like the mouth on that one. - Mm, we gonna cuddle real hard!
嘿,婊子。嘿，小贱人。- Hey, bitch. Hey, little bitch. -
伙计们，我们得离开这里。 Guys, we got to get out of here.
我们没时间了。 We're running out of time.
-我们到底在哪儿?-哪儿都不好。 - Where even are we? - Nowhere good.
不不不不不不。我不能待在这里。 No, no, no, no, no. I can't be here.
我不能。别再这样了。 I can't. Not this again.
来吧，伙计。我们会没事的。 Come on, mate. We'll be fine.
罗尔夫说他们只会让我们回家。 Yeah, Rolf told us they'll just send us home.
-没事的。-他们只会送你回家 - It'll be all right. - They only send you home
如果你有家可回的话。 if you got a home to go back to.
你知道这些人是怎么做的吗 And do you know what these people do
给没有基因的狗，亨特?嗯? to dogs that don't have one, Hunter? Huh?
你知道他们要对我做什么吗? Do you have any idea what they're about to do to me?
他们要对雷吉做什么? What they're about to do to Reg?
冷静点，小虫。我们会解决的。 Calm down, Bug. We'll figure this out.
没什么好弄清楚的，麦琪。 There ain't nothing to figure out, Maggie.
这些人类抓住了我们，我们完蛋了! These humans caught us, and now we are fucked!
布格，你又不知道。 Bug, you don't know that.
是的。我是说，布格， Yeah. Uh, I mean, Bug,
你说你很了解人类， you say you know so much about humans,
但你也并不真正了解他们。 but you don't really know them, either.
我是说，你从来没有主人。 I mean, you've never had an owner.
你从没叫过珍娜 You never had a Jenna.
你从来没叫道格。 You never had a Doug.
我有一个艾玛。 I had an Emma.
——什么? - What?
哇,Bug。 Whoa, Bug.
你有主人吗? You had an owner?
是的。 Yeah.
我告诉自己，我再也不会提起她的名字了， And I told myself that I would never say her name again,
但你们都得听听这个。 but y'all need to hear this.
——没有。——不是吗?好吧。 - No. - No? Okay.
我不记得所有的事情， I don't remember everything,
但我记得她救我出来的那天 but I remember the day she got me out of there.
-这个。 - This one.
他是一个可爱的小家伙。 He's a cute little bugger.
可爱的小虫子。 Cute little bug.
♬当我们在巅峰时……♪ ♪ When we were on top... ♪
我们做什么都在一起。 We did everything together.
我们玩了一整天， We played all day,
不管我做得有多蠢 and no matter how stupid I acted,
——她总是笑。 - she always laughed.
不给糖就捣蛋。 Trick or treat.
我们还做了我讨厌的事 We even did this thing I hated
她会给我们穿上超级奇怪的衣服吗 where she would dress us up in super weird clothes
让邻居们把巧克力给我们 and ask the neighbors to give us that chocolate
-人类用狗屎做的。-哦，哦，不适合你，亲爱的。 - humans make from dog poop. - Oh, oh, not for you, honey.
没关系。这只是一场暴风雨。 It's okay. It's just a storm.
但比我们玩得开心还要开心 But even better than all the fun we had
是她给我的感觉。 is, uh, the way she made me feel.
我爱你。 I love you.
当她这么说的时候，我觉得自己很特别。 When she said that, I felt so special.
接着通常是 And then it was usually followed by
这些不可思议的腹部抓痕。 these incredible belly scratches.
从来没有人让我的腿那样踢过。 No one ever made my leg kick like that.
除了和浣熊的那一晚 Except for this one night with this raccoon
我不喜欢说，但是…无论如何。- I don't like to talk about, but, uh... anyway. -
但后来我犯了一个错误。 But then I made a mistake.
那是一片模糊。 It was a blur.
我甚至都不知道我做了什么，直到为时已晚。 I didn't even know what I did until it was too late.
跟布格说再见。 Say goodbye to Bug.
我以为我要被关禁闭什么的， I thought I was getting put in time-out or something,
但是…但她送我去的地方… but... but the place she sent me to...
…那里的暂停永远不会结束。 ...the time-outs there never end.
哇! Whoa!
我再也没见过她。 I never saw her again.
我们经历了那么多，她让我感受到的一切， After all we had been through-- everything she made me feel,
我以为我让她感觉到的一切 everything I thought I made her feel--
就什么都没有。 just nothing.
我们一起做了那么多。 We did so much together.
她教了我很多把戏。 She taught me so many tricks.
但有一种把戏她永远不想让我学会:留下来。 But the one trick she never wanted me to learn was: stay.
我想我在中间部分走神了。 I think I zoned out around the middle part.
你能再说一遍中间的部分吗? Can you tell the middle part again?
亨特，我不会再说中间部分了。 Hunter, I'm not gonna tell the middle part again.
对不起，布格。我不知道。 I'm sorry, Bug. I had no idea.
别抱歉，雷吉。要心存感激。 Don't be sorry, Reg. Be thankful.
因为你有机会弥补这一切 'Cause you got a chance to make this right.
为了咬这姑娘的鸡巴，我愿意付出一切。 Oh, what I wouldn't give to bite this girl in the dick.
但是，她六岁了，我不知道她现在住在哪里， But, you know, she's six, and I don't know where she lives now,
她是个女孩，连鸡巴都没有，但还是。 and she's a girl and doesn't even have a dick, but still.
听着，我们现在做的不仅仅是为了道格。 Listen, what we're doing isn't just about Doug.
我们这么做是为了他们所有人。 We're doing this for all of them.
为了每一个人 For every single one of those humans
把我们当狗屎一样对待。 who treated us like shit.
伙计，这是我这辈子最大的错误。 Man, biggest mistake of my life.
是的。我也会后悔咬你一口的。 Yeah. I'd regret that bite, too.
咬人吗?不。 The bite? No.
我说的是她。 I'm talking about her.
是她错了，不是… She's the mistake, not the...
好吧，我们可以谈谈 Okay, well, we can talk about
我们想报复你的前任， getting back at your exes all we want,
但如果我们出不去，这些都不重要。 but none of that matters if we can't get out of here.
伙计们，如果我们能拿到钥匙呢? Guys, what if we can get the key?
哦,不。 Oh, no.
我们需要一根超长的杆子来钩住它。 We'd need, like, a super long pole to hook it.
为什么每个人都看着我? Why is everyone looking at me?
加油，亨特，你能做到的。 Come on, Hunter, you can do it.
老兄，你太接近了。 Dude, you're so close.
再来一点。 Just a little more.
来吧，变得更性感。你能做到的。 Come on, get hornier. You can do it.
这就是我的全部。 This is all I got.
麦琪，别这样。激发他。 Maggie, come on. Excite him.
亨特，这真是 Hunter, this has been
一次漫长而艰难的旅行， a really long, hard trip,
但让我气喘吁吁的是 but the thing that keeps me panting
是在考虑我们一起做，常规的方式。 is thinking about us doing it, regular style.
哦,男孩。它的工作。 Oh, boy. It-It's working.
继续说，麦琪。更性感的东西。 Keep talking, Maggie. More sexy stuff.
想象一下我， Just picture me,
八个乳头都很坚硬， all eight nipples rock hard,
我什么都没穿，除了…锥。 and I'm wearing nothing but... the cone.
你成功了，亨特! You're doing it, Hunter!
来吧，亨特。 Come on, Hunter.
用你的鸡巴。 Use that dick of yours.
是的,猎人! Yes, Hunter!
猎人!猎人! Hunter! Hunter!
猎人!猎人!猎人!猎人! Hunter! Hunter! Hunter! Hunter!
猎人! Hunter!
对不起,伙计们。这是绝望的。 Sorry, guys. It's hopeless.
啊。猎人。 Ugh. Hunter.
大便。我真的以为这能行。 Shit. Really thought that was gonna work.
抱歉我的鸡巴让你失望了。 Sorry my dick let you down.
等待。我知道了。 Wait. I've got it.
人类最痴迷的是什么? What's the one thing humans are obsessed with?
嗯,自己。 Uh, themselves.
-画他们的脸。——死亡。 - Painting their faces. - Dying.
不。布格，你自己说的。 No. Bug, you said it yourself.
关于狗，人类最着迷的是什么? What's the thing humans are most obsessed with about dogs?
-我们的东西。——是的。 - Our shit. - Yes.
每次我们拉屎，他们都怎么做? Every single time we shit, what do they do?
他们来把它装起来。 They come and bag it up.
-是的。-没错。曾经这个地方 - Yeah. - That's right. Once this place
弄得一团糟，威利进来把它打包 gets all poopy, Willy comes in and bags it up
好像他是为了什么而收集的。其他:嗯。 like he's collecting it for something. -OTHERS: Mm-hmm.
——没错。巧克力。 - Exactly. For chocolate.
那是我们离开这里的通行证。 And that's our ticket out of here.
我们拉到他不得不打开这些门为止， We poop until he has to open these doors,
等他来了，我们就冲锋。 and when he does, we charge.
好主意，雷吉。-想得好，孩子。我在。 Good idea, Reg. - Nice thinking, kid. I'm in.
我在枪膛里放了几枪。 And I got a couple of shits in the chamber.
-不用了，谢谢，孩子。 - No thanks, kid.
你们是怎么了? What's wrong with you guys?
你不想离开这个地方吗? Don't you want to get out of this place?
当然可以。但我们已经被烧死太多次了 Of course. But we've been burned so many times
我们足够聪明，知道这一点 we're smart enough to know
我们永远无法走出这堵墙 that we'll never get beyond these walls
没有人来收养我们。 without a human coming to adopt us.
听着，我明白。 Look, I get it.
我也有过黑暗的时刻。 I've had dark moments.
我感到被困住的时刻。 Moments where I felt stuck.
那些时刻，即使你看不见， Moments where, even if you couldn't see it,
感觉就像有一堵墙或栅栏挡住了你。 felt like there was a wall or a fence holding you back.
是的，无形的魔法栅栏。我对天发誓，这是真的。 Yeah, invisible magic fences. I swear to God, that's real.
但我要告诉你，那是废话。 But I'm here to tell you that's garbage talk.
因为我很幸运遇到了一些很棒的朋友 'Cause I was lucky enough to meet some amazing friends
墙外是谁教我的 who taught me that just beyond those walls
是一堆值得为之而活的不可思议的东西。 is a bunch of incredible stuff worth living for.
那里有可以撒尿的灯柱。 There's lampposts to pee on.
有残羹剩饭可以吃，有沙发可以做爱。 There's scraps to eat and couches to make love to.
还有死掉的兔子…… And dead bunnies that...
-我什么都不知道。 - I-I know nothing about.
是啊，我也不知道。 Yeah, I know nothing about that, either.
我不知道你在说什么。 Got no clue what you're talking about on that one.
还要拿网球，还有…… And tennis balls to fetch, and...
一个可以咬掉的鸡巴。 A dick to bite off.
怎么啦？哦，哦，是的，是的，是的。,太。 What? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, too.
但最重要的是，外面有值得过的生活。 But most importantly, there's a life out there worth living.
哇!雷吉!去,注册! Whoo! Reggie! Go, Reg!
所以我问你，你想留在这里等死吗， So I'm asking you, do you want to stay here and die,
还是你想把你的脑袋拉屎然后活下去? or do you want to shit your brains out and live?
活了! Live!
我们要活下去! We want to live!
那就和我一起便便! Then poop with me!
跟我一起便便去自由! Poop with me to freedom!
♬哦，该死，哦，该死，哦，该死 ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
-♬哦，该死，哦，该死♬-♬你准备好了吗?♪ - ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ - ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪
-♬哦，该死，哦，该死的♬-♬哦…♪ - ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ - ♪ Oh... ♪
深入你的内心，深入你的结肠。 Dig deep inside of you, deep inside your colon.
释放你被压抑的情绪。 Release your pent-up feelings.
让它流动。 Let it flow.
♬当我来到俱乐部♬ ♪ When I come to the club ♪
-靠边站-哦，该死的 - ♪ Step aside ♪ - ♪ Oh, shit ♪
♪分开大海，别让我在这条线上♪ ♪ Part the seas, don't be havin' me in the line ♪
♬哦，该死……♪ ♪ Oh, shit... ♪
大家干得好。继续拉屎。 Great work, everybody. Keep on pooping.
-我爱你很久了- -哦，靠 - ♪ And me love you long time ♪ - ♪ Oh, shit ♪
为什么每次你都在我身边 ♪ How come every time you come around ♪
♬我的伦敦，伦敦桥要倒下吗?♪ ♪ My London, London Bridge wanna go down? ♪
♬就像伦敦，伦敦，伦敦，就像。♪ ♪ Like London, London, London, be goin' down like. ♪
那是我的眼睛。 Those are my eyes.
完全正确。 Exactly.
我想爸爸一定会喜欢的。 I think Dad's really gonna love this.
我觉得它起作用了。的地方,每一个人。 I think it's working. Places, everyone.
哦……哦,上帝。 Oh... oh, God.
我能尝到它的味道。哦。 I can taste it. Oh.
怎么啦？ What?
哦,他妈的。 Oh, fuck.
很可爱。 Very cute.
很有趣。 Very funny.
我知道是怎么回事了。 I see what's going on here.
你们觉得我是 You guys think that I am
一个大混蛋，对吧? a big fat fucking asshole, right?
你知道我的一切。 You know everything about me.
你知道我生活中发生的所有事情 You know all the things that have happened in my life
我爸爸和我前妻。 with my dad and my ex-wife.
布拉沃。布拉沃。 Bravo. Bravo.
哦,再来一个! Oh, encore!
只是开玩笑。这是完成了。 Just kidding. It's done.
我们做完了! We are done!
-等等，你在… - Wait, what are you...
我的天啊。Wh-Whoa。 Oh, my God. Wh-Whoa.
负责! Charge!
啊，我们成功了! Ah, we did it!
真不敢相信我们便便那么多! I can't believe we shit that much!
猎人的迪克!猎人的迪克! Hunter's dick! Hunter's dick!
去你的! To hell with you!
谢谢大家的耐心等待。 Thanks for your patience, folks.
真的。 Really.
哦。对不起，戴安。 Ooh. I'm sorry, Diane.
嗯…嗯… Uh... uh...
“那就和我一起去自由吧。” "Then poop with me to freedom."
-太俗气了，但我喜欢。-什么计划。 - So cheesy, but I loved it. - What a plan.
多棒的演讲啊，雷吉。 What a speech, Reg.
事实上，雷金纳德，我更喜欢第一次演讲。 Actually, Reginald, I preferred the first speech.
就是你说服我们所有人这么做的那次， You know, the one where you convinced all of us to do this,
那时候你还在忙着咬道格的鸡巴。 back when you were focused on biting Doug's dick off.
Bug。-好吧，好吧，布格，听着… Bug. - Okay, okay, Bug, look...
噢,瞧! Oh, look!
天上的魔鬼。我们成功了。 The devil in the sky. We made it.
看看那个该死的家伙! Look at that fucking guy!
下地狱吧，你个狗娘养的。 Burn in hell, you motherfucking son of a bitch.
我讨厌他的一切。 I hate everything about him.
那傻逼的笑容，那条破裤子。 That dumbass smile, those shitty pants.
我要把你的蛋蛋扯下来，让你看着! I want to rip your nuts off and make you watch!
愚蠢的帽子和你愚蠢的卡车 Stupid hat and your stupid truck
门在这东西的另一边。 with the door on the other side of the thing.
我讨厌他的脸。 I hate his face.
我讨厌他的个性。我讨厌他的包。 I hate his personality. I hate his bag.
他闻起来像一千个不同的房子， He smells like a thousand different houses,
我不能相信 and I can't trust that.
不管怎样，干得好，伙计们。最后一个里程碑。 Anyways, good job, guys. The final landmark.
-是的。这是正确的。-而且正按计划进行。 - Yeah. That's right. - And right on schedule.
是的,几乎没有。你还记得从这里走哪条路吗? Yeah, barely. You remember which way to go from here?
是啊，我们只是…我们现在就沿着这条路走。 Uh, yeah, we just... we just stay on this road for now.
好。让我们动起来。 Good. Let's move.
-好吧。太好了。 - All right. Great.
等等，等等，等等。 W-Wait, wait, wait.
1秒。还不能走。 One second. Can't leave yet.
——嗯?-怎么了，雷吉? - Huh? - What's up, Reg?
它在哪里? Where is it?
哦,在那里。 Oh, there.
好吧。走吧，伙计们。 All right. Let's go, guys.
不，不，不，不。等一下。 No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on a second.
你为什么不能丢下球就走，雷吉? Why couldn't you leave without the ball, Reggie?
我不知道。我只是喜欢网球。 I don't know. I-I just like tennis balls.
我了解球类球员。你不是个喜欢球的人。 I know ball guys. You're not a ball guy.
你也不了解我的一切。 Well, you don't know everything about me.
我现在又多学了一点。 Well, I'm learning a little more right now.
放手吧，雷吉。 Drop the ball, Reg.
怎么啦？不。 What? No.
把该死的球放下。 Drop the fucking ball.
-别管了。-我不会离开舞会的。 - Leave it. - I'm not gonna leave the ball.
-扔球!——没有。 - Drop the ball! - No.
雷吉，你把那该死的球丢了! Reggie, you drop that goddamn ball!
——没有。-你根本不喜欢球! - No. - You don't even like balls!
道格喜欢球! Doug likes balls!
——道格? - Doug?
哦,注册。 Oh, Reg.
我不知道为什么，但他就是喜欢。 I don't know why, but he does.
当我们玩做爱游戏的时候， And when we play the game fetch-and-fuck,
当我回家给他带回一个球时，一切就结束了。 it always ends when I come home and bring him back a ball.
所以我知道他很期待，我不会让他失望的。 So I know he's expecting it, and I'm not gonna let him down.
-该死的。-所以当你告诉我 - Goddamn it. - So, when you told me
你不知道你会怎么咬道格的老二 you didn't know how you were gonna bite Doug in the dick,
你不知道的真正原因是因为… the real reason you don't know is because...
你不能咬道格的鸡巴。- You're not gonna bite Doug in the dick. -
我们刚出发的时候，我完全同意这个计划。 Look, when we first set out, I was totally into the plan.
但我们越接近道格， But the closer we got to Doug,
我就越意识到我想念他。 the more I realize that I miss him.
我想他也想我了。 And I think he misses me, too.
雷吉，别这样。 Reggie, don't do this.
你配得上比他更好的人。 You deserve so much better than him.
我不知道，亨特。 I don't, Hunter.
我真的不知道。 I really don't.
你知道道格为什么抛弃我吗? You know why Doug abandoned me?
因为我是我们关系的问题所在。 Because I was the problem in our relationship.
我吃了他的鞋子。 I ate his shoes.
我每天都很早就把他叫醒 I woke him up so early every day
因为我要尿尿。 because I needed to pee.
我在地毯上拉屎了。 And I pooped on the rug.
我们都在地毯上拉屎过，雷吉。 We've all pooped on the rug, Reggie.
你滚进去了吗，麦琪?你在便便里打滚了吗? Oh, did you roll in it, Maggie? Did you roll in the poop?
因为你猜怎么着，我在便便里打滚。 Because guess what, I rolled in the poop.
好吧，这不是很好。 Okay, that's not great.
天啊，真不敢相信我花了这么长时间 God, I can't believe it took me this long
要知道，每次他说我是坏狗， to realize this-- that every time he called me a bad dog,
他完全正确。 he was absolutely right.
都是我的错。 It was all my fault.
哇。 Wow.
我不会再做一只坏狗了。 Well, I'm not gonna be a bad dog anymore.
我该做个好孩子了。 It's time for me to be a good boy.
天啊，我真不敢相信我为这个混蛋冒了生命危险 Jesus, I cannot believe that I risked my life for this asshole
这样他就可以回去找另一个混蛋了。 just so he could go back and get with another asshole.
我所做的一切都是为了你，雷吉。 I did all of this for you, Reggie.
你这么做不是为了我。 You didn't do this for me.
你自己说的，这和道格无关。 You said it yourself-- this isn't about Doug.
这是关于他们每一个人的 This is about every single one of them
把我们当狗屎一样对待。 who treated us like shit.
这是关于艾玛的。 This is about Emma.
——雷吉。-去你妈的。 - Reggie. - Fuck you.
那第三条呢，布格? Hey, how about rule number three, Bug?
你一个人吗? You're on your own?
那我们是什么? Well, then what were we?
哇。-我不认为你真的想成为一只流浪狗。 Wow. -I don't think you really want to be a stray.
我觉得你很伤心，很孤独。 I think you're sad and lonely.
你能相信这家伙吗? Can you believe this fucking guy?
我认为你声称讨厌人类的唯一原因 And I think the only reason you claim to hate humans
是因为，如果你停下来想想发生了什么， is because, if you ever stop to think about what happened,
你会意识到艾玛并没有搞砸;你所做的。 you'd realize that Emma didn't fuck it up; you did.
他妈的离我远点。 Get the fuck away from me.
相信我，我也把我的主人搞砸了， Believe me, I-I fucked up with my owner, too,
所以谢谢你让我意识到问题出在我身上。 so thank you for helping me realize I was the problem.
唯一的区别是我有机会弥补 Only difference is I have a chance to fix it
而不是落得你这样的下场。 and not end up like you.
嘿，嘿，嘿，你在干什么? Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?
-伙计们，别这样。-伙计们，别说了。 - Guys, guys, stop. - Guys, stop it.
——人!-伙计们，快点。-拜托! - Guys! -Guys, come on. - Come on!
-把这东西给我。-还给我! - Give me this fucking thing. - Give it back!
——错误。人。 - Bug. Guys.
这是道格给我的!还给我! Doug gave me that! Give that back!
-我知道。——不! - I know he did. - No!
阻止它。停止。布格，别这样。 Stop it. Stop. Bug, don't do that.
这就是我对你和你主人的看法。 That's what I think about you and your owner.
去你妈的，雷吉! Go fuck yourself, Reggie!
你们俩天生一对。 You two deserve each other.
-雷吉，别这样!——注册。 - Reggie, don't do this! - Reg.
我希望他已经丢下你走了。 I hope he's already left without you.
男人。 Man.
我真以为我的鸡巴能钩住钥匙。 I really thought my dick was gonna hook those keys.
但这也很让人失望。 Um, but this is also a bummer.
布格，我们不能回去。 Bug, we can't go back.
当然可以。 Sure, we can.
天上的魔鬼，锥体，仓鼠轮， The devil in the sky, cone, hamster wheel,
跟我们来的顺序正好相反。 just in the opposite order of how we came.
这次没有死兔子了。 No dead bunnies this time.
布格，她的意思是我们不能就这样离开他。 Bug, she means we can't leave him like this.
首先，亨特，我们没有丢下他。 First off, Hunter, we didn't leave him.
他离开了我们。 He left us.
其次，我们不知道剩下的路 Second, we don't know the rest of the way
反正回道格家 back to Doug's place anyway.
第三，我不会一直在这里闲逛 And third, I'm not just gonna hang around here
让一些没鸡巴的鸟 and let some dickless bird
趁我不在的时候偷袭我女朋友。 swoop in on my girlfriend while I'm gone.
——什么?——看, - What? - Look,
如果说这混蛋有一件事做对了， if there's one thing that the asshole got right,
而是我一直在和你们浪费时间。 it's that I have been wasting my time with you guys.
我是流浪狗，我应该表现得像个流浪狗。 I'm a stray, and I should start acting like one.
-等等，你要去哪儿?-我不知道。 - Wait, where are you going? - I don't know.
-我要去做尼雅。-尼雅是什么? - I'm about to go do some nunya. - What's nunya?
-娘娘腔的事!哦,是的, - Nunya fucking business! Oh, yeah,
我直接走进了那个。 I walked right into that one.
我们回家吧，亨特。 Let's go home, Hunter.
谈论我很孤独。说到我害怕。 Talking about I'm lonely. Talking about I'm scared.
他以为他在说什么? Fuck does he think he's talking about?
我现在就告诉你，我并不孤单， I'm-a tell you right now, I ain't lonely,
我也不害怕 and I damn sure ain't scared.
去你妈的，利夫。 Fuck you, leaf.
像我一样吗? End up like me?
我上周在两辆车和三栋房子上撒尿了。 I pissed on two cars and three houses last week.
没错，我是一只三岁的狗， That's right, I'm a three-year-old dog,
而且我已经有房了 and I'm already a homeowner.
我他妈活在梦里了? I'm living the motherfucking dream, hmm?
我也不害怕孤独。 And I'm not scared to be alone.
事实上，我什么都不怕。 Matter of fact, I ain't scared of anything.
那是谁? Who's that?
别靠近我。 Don't come closer.
我,呃…我疯了。我操垃圾! I-I, uh... I'm crazy. I fuck trash!
不，不是这样的。 Nope, not doing this.
走开，布格。 Just walk away, Bug.
像艾玛这样的小女孩糟透了，你知道的。 Little girls like Emma suck, and you know it.
别听她的，伙计。别听她的。 Don't listen to her, man. Don't listen to her.
又一个该死的自恋狂 Another fucking narcissist
把她的需要放在你自己的需要之上。 putting her needs above your own.
你以前也经历过这种事，伙计。 You've been down this fucking road before, man.
只是…只是… Just... just...
该死的。 Goddamn it.
嘿。 Hey there.
你一个人在这里干什么? What are you doing out here all alone?
你也像我一样迷路了吗? Did you get lost like me?
会没事的。 It's gonna be okay.
天呐等等! Holy shit. Wait!
你是每个人都在寻找的女孩。 You're the girl that everyone's looking for.
天呐 Holy shit.
我找到她了!我找到她了! I found her! I found her!
来人啊，救救我! S-Somebody, please help!
我找到那个女孩了! I found the girl!
-那是Bug。-错误!你在哪里? - That's Bug. - Bug! Where are you?
我们走吧。 Let's go.
我看见他了! I see him!
真不敢相信你找到了那个女孩。 I can't believe you found the girl.
天啊，布格。 Oh, my God, Bug.
来吧。我们得找人帮她。她的情况很糟糕。 Come on. We got to get her some help. She's in bad shape.
的帮助!在这里!在这里! Help! Over here! Over here!
我们找到她了!的帮助! We found her! Help!
——帮助!的帮助!-罗尔夫，你这个白痴!的帮助! - Help! Help! - Rolf, you dickhead! Help!
失去了孩子!让我们动起来! Lost kid! Let's move!
-在这里!——Rolf !-救命! - Over here! - Rolf! -Help!
-他们来了。在这里。 - Here they come. Over here.
芒奇金，检查那个女孩。 Munchkin, check the girl.
干得不错，亨特和小狗。 Hell of a job, Hunter and small dogs.
-不知道你有这个本事。-我的天啊。我的天啊。莱利! - Didn't know you had it in you. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Riley!
莱丽，给你。好狗。好狗。 Riley, here you are. Good dog. Good dog.
你是好的。 You're okay.
我都不会问的 I'm not even gonna ask
你是怎么回到树林里的。 how you ended up back in these woods.
我只会问:我该如何报答你? All I'll ask is: How can I repay you?
你可以帮我救我最好的朋友。 You can help save my best friend.
我该说什么呢?我该说什么? Oh, what am I gonna say? What am I gonna say?
好吧，我应该排练一下。 Okay, I should probably rehearse this.
嘿,道格。 Hey, Doug.
嘿,shitbag。 Hey, shitbag.
你最近在忙什么? What have you been up to?
主要是自慰。 Mostly masturbating.
哦,很酷。经典的道格。 Oh, cool. Classic Doug.
所以，我应该向你道歉。 So, I owe you an apology.
好吧。 Okay.
你完全正确 You were totally right
把我丢在巷子里。 to ditch me in that alley.
我的意思是，我很糟糕。 I mean, I was terrible.
同意了。 Agreed.
但我想知道 But I was wondering, um,
我回来后，我们能不能做些改变。 if we could maybe make some changes when I'm back.
也许我们现在可以出去走走 Like, maybe we could do walks now
可能还会增加小便时间，一天两次 and possibly increase pee breaks to twice a day
也许，如果你愿意，你可以叫我… and maybe, if you feel like it, you could call me a...
偶尔做个好孩子。 a good boy every once in a while.
这太蠢了。 Ugh, this is stupid.
你说找不到他是什么意思? What you mean, you can't track him down?
你们是嗅探犬。你就是这么做的，对吧? You're sniff dogs. That's what you do, right?
得了吧，罗尔夫，这是他们教我们的。 Yeah, come on, Rolf, they taught us that.
这是不可能的。 It's impossible.
我们不知道他的气味就没法追踪他。 We can't track him without knowing his scent first.
你昨天闻到他的气味了吗，芒奇金? Did you get any whiff of him yesterday, Munchkin?
我想不起来了，先生。 Nothing I can recall, sir.
——等等!印花大手帕!-再来。 - Wait! The bandanna! - Come again.
我们可以从手帕上闻到他的气味。 We can get his scent from the bandanna.
-我们走吧!我们走吧!-很好，麦琪。 - Let's go! Let's go! - Nice, Maggie.
罗尔夫吗?嘿,Rolf ! Rolf? Hey, Rolf!
-在那儿!在那里!它在那儿! - There it is! There! There it is!
它在那儿! There it is!
干得好，麦琪。 Way to go, Maggie.
停止! Halt!
天哪，那是什么味道? Good God, what's that smell?
你能闻到雷吉的味道吗? Can you smell Reggie off that thing?
我不会放过任何狗的，长官。 I'm not getting any dog off of this, sir.
只是尿多了。 Just a lot of urine.
-哦，嗯。哦,哇。——嗯。 - Oh, huh. Oh, wow. - Huh.
-这太奇怪了。-是布格。 - That's, uh, weird. - It was Bug.
从相同的模式，我能看出来 And from the same patterns, I can tell
这是一个非常小的尿流， this was a very small pee stream,
这说明狗的阴茎小得令人难以置信。 indicative of a dog with an unbelievably tiny penis.
-又来了，小虫。-这不代表什么。 - Again, Bug. - It ain't indicative of shit.
如果说有什么区别的话，那就是， If anything, it is indicative of a well-shaped,
肉欲的阴茎，超越了阴茎的大小。 sensual penis that transcends dick size.
这里有很多TDU，小鸡巴尿。 Lots of TDU-- tiny dick urine-- over here.
只有奇迹才会出现 It would take a miracle to pick up
有没有狗的气味。 any dog scent off of that thing.
给你。你们怎么了? There you are. What's gotten into you guys?
你他妈的在干什么? Fuck are you doing?
你会把气味弄脏的! You'll taint the smell!
我在做你的工作。 I'm doing your job.
滚远点，阿道夫。 Now, back the fuck off, Adolf.
——阿道夫?-因为你 - Adolf? - It's 'cause you're
一只德国羊……哦,等等。 a German shep... Oh, whatever.
我现在明白了。希特勒参考。 I get it now. Hitler reference.
去,玛吉。去,玛吉。 Go, Maggie. Go, Maggie.
我在接…… I'm picking up...
夜妖，披萨，呕吐披萨， bitches of the night, pizza, vomit pizza,
热狗，我们所有的尿， hot dogs, all of our pee,
-鹰的羽毛，丹尼斯·奎德? - eagle feathers, Dennis Quaid?
松鼠性爱，我一无所知的死兔子， Squirrel sex, dead bunnies that I know nothing about,
亨特的鸡鸡，哦，很多狗屎， Hunter's boner, oh, lots of shit,
一个小小的波士顿梗鸡巴和… a tiny Boston terrier dick and...
雷吉!我抓住他了。 Reggie! I got him.
-是的，麦琪。-我们走吧! - Yes, Maggie. - Let's move!
来吧，我们走! Come on, let's go!
谢谢,Rolf ! Thanks, Rolf!
除了那次你耍了我们! Except for when you fucked us over!
祝你们好运，士兵们。 Good luck, soldiers.
对不起，我他妈是个混蛋! And sorry I'm such a fucking asshole!
我应该好好锻炼一下自己。 I should really work on myself.
谢谢你在地毯上拉屎。 Oh, thanks for shitting on the carpet.
你他妈在想什么? The fuck are you thinking, huh?
你真是个愚蠢的小混蛋。 Oh, you're such a stupid little piece of shit.
你能让我一个人静静吗? Can you just leave me the fuck alone?
坏狗! Bad dog!
你他妈就是这么说的，你个混蛋。 That's what you fucking sound like, you piece of shit.
好吧，再在地毯上拉上最后一坨屎，然后我就走。 Okay, one last shit on the carpet, and then I'm out.
嘿,道格。 Hey, Doug.
他妈的。 Fuck.
是我，雷吉。 It's me, Reggie.
听着，我知道你不能理解 A-And look, I-I know you can't understand
我现在说的话… what I'm saying right now...
这是不可能的。 This is not happening.
…但我只想说出我的感受。 ...but I just want to say how I feel.
我知道你不喜欢我。 I know you didn't like me.
我是说，很明显。 I mean, obviously.
你把我抛弃在大街上。 You abandoned me in the street.
但你要知道，我已经尽力了 But just know that I did everything I could
让你感到被爱。 to make you feel loved.
我想，如果我足够爱你， And I thought, if I loved you enough,
也许你也会爱我。 then maybe you would love me back.
但后来我认识了新朋友。 But then I met new friends.
我遇到了最可爱的大狗，有最漂亮的鸡巴， I met the sweetest big dog with just the nicest dick,
世界上最有才华，最坏的贱人， the most talented, baddest bitch in the world,
最小的，最好斗的， and the-the tiniest, scrappiest,
是我找过的最有趣的好朋友。 funniest best friend I could ever ask for.
我也遇到了我儿子，他是个地精，我们做爱了。 Oh, and I met my son, too, who's a gnome, and we had sex.
但不管。 But whatever.
重点是那些朋友让我看到了 The point is those friends showed me
真正的爱是什么感觉， what real love feels like,
和我们以前的生活完全不一样。 and it's nothing like what we had.
现在我知道我不是一只坏狗。 Now I know that I wasn't a bad dog.
你是个坏人。 You were a bad man.
坏男人!坏男人! Bad man! Bad man!
再见,道格。 Goodbye, Doug.
去你妈的。 And fuck you.
现在，我要做什么 Now, what do I got to do
把你从我的生活中赶出去? to get you the fuck out of my life?
我是说，你怎么会不明白呢，伙计? I mean, how do you not get it, man?
我开了三个小时的车。 I drove you three hours away.
我是说，我还能说得更清楚吗 I mean, how could I make it any more clear
我不在乎你吗 that I don't care about you?
我他妈的不爱你。 I don't fucking love you.
永别了，混蛋。 Goodbye forever, shitbag.
至少我找到了一个爱我的人。 Well, at least I found someone who loved me.
Pee-FFs直到永远。 Pee-FFs forever.
Pee-FFs永远! Pee-FFs forever!
他妈的? The fuck?
这些狗到底是谁? Who the hell are these dogs?
天啊，这里就像一部狗电影。 Jesus Christ, it's like a fucking dog movie in here.
噢,是吗? Oh, yeah?
你他妈有什么办法，小子? The fuck are you gonna do about it, cone boy?
哦,狗屎。 Oh, shit.
雷吉，你没事吧? Reggie, you okay?
听着，布格，我很抱歉我说了那些话。我… Listen, Bug, I-I'm so sorry for what I said. I...
现在不用担心这个。 Don't worry about that right now.
是啊，我们还有鸡巴要扒呢。 Yeah, we've got a dick to rip off.
他妈的放开我! Get the fuck off me!
他妈的。什么…… Fuck. What the...
放开我!放开!该死的。 Get off me! Let go! Goddamn it.
噢!操，我的膝盖! Ow! Fuck, my knee!
-该死的! - Goddamn it!
你想来点吗? Oh, you want some, huh?
哦，该死的! Oh, goddamn it!
你们这些小混蛋欠我个微波炉! You little fuckers owe me a microwave!
吃点脚吧! Eat some foot!
啊，我的脚! Aah, my foot!
Shitbag。 Shitbag.
操，我的背! Oh, fuck, my back!
他妈的!-伙计们，我们该离开这里了。 Fuck! -Guys, we should get out of here.
雷吉! Reggie!
抓到你了，你个小混蛋。 Got you, you little shit.
好吧，看看你。 Well, look at you.
你有朋友吗? You got yourself some friends?
让我告诉你们这些毛茸茸的混蛋。 Let me tell you furry fucks something.
你的小伙伴毁了我的人生。 Your little buddy here ruined my life.
在他之前，我过得很好。 Before him, I had a fucking good thing going.
有栖身之所，有妈妈的支票， A roof over my head, checks from my mom,
两个女朋友。 two girlfriends.
现在我没有房子，没有女朋友， Now I have no house, no girlfriends,
我还得打一天飞机 and I have to masturbate all day.
好吧，这狗把我变成了失败者! All right, this dog turned me into a fucking loser!
他为什么说这么多? Why's he talking so much?
你看过《马利和我》的结局吗?嗯? You ever see the end of Marley & Me? Huh?
是的。我,没有。 Yeah. Me, neither.
太他妈无聊了。 It's fucking boring.
但我知道狗最后会死。 But I do know that the dog dies in the end.
-我会很享受的 - I'm gonna enjoy
榨干你的生命。 squeezing the life out of you.
麦琪，亨特，就位。 Maggie, Hunter, get in position.
明白了。副本。 Got it. Copy.
因为你榨干了我的生命。 'Cause you squeezed the life out of me.
等等，发生什么事了? Wait, what's happening?
他们为什么要排那样的队?什么…… What are they doing getting in a line like that? What...
去你妈的! Fuck you!
-我们抓，我们拴 - ♪ We clawed, we chained ♪
♬我们的心是徒劳的 ♪ Our hearts in vain ♪
♬我们跳起来，从不问为什么 ♪ We jumped, never asking why ♪
♬我们接吻了，我被你迷住了 ♪ We kissed, I fell under your spell ♪
♬一份无人能否认的爱 ♪ A love no one could deny ♪
难道你从来没有说过……♪ ♪ Don't you ever say... ♪
该死的坏狗。 Bad fucking dog.
你说得太对了。 You're goddamn right.
♬我像个破坏球一样闯进来 ♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪
♬我从来没有在爱情中受到如此沉重的打击 ♪ I never hit so hard in love ♪
♬我想要的只是打破你的墙 ♪ All I wanted was to break your walls ♪
♬你所做的只是♬ ♪ All you ever did was ♪
♬我们来看看我吧 ♪ Wre-e-eck me ♪
♬是啊，你，你在嘲笑我♬ ♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪
♬我把你高高挂在天空 ♪ I put you high up in the sky ♪
♬现在你不下来了♬ ♪ And now you're not coming down ♪
♪它慢慢转了，你让我燃烧♪ ♪ It slowly turned, you let me burn ♪
♬现在我们是地上的灰烬 ♪ And now we're ashes on the ground ♪
♪不要再说我只是走开了♪ ♪ Don't you ever say I just walked away ♪
♬我会永远想念你 ♪ I will always want you ♪
♬我像个破坏球一样闯进来 ♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪
♬是的，我只是闭上眼睛摇摆 ♪ Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung ♪
♬让我在熊熊的坠落中崩溃 ♪ Left me crashing in a blazing fall ♪
♬你所做的一切都是在嘲笑我 ♪ All you ever did was wre-e-eck me ♪
♬是啊，你，你在嘲笑我♬ ♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪
♬我从没想过要挑起战争 ♪ I never meant to start a war ♪
♬我只是想让你让我进入…♪ ♪ I just wanted you to let me in... ♪
是啊，我们该走了。 Uh, yeah, we should probably leave.
是吗，我们现在就得走吗? Oh, yeah, we got to go right now?
我还挺享受的。 I was kind of enjoying this.
♬我想我应该让你赢……♪ ♪ I guess I should've let you win... ♪
雷吉，我得跟你说实话。 Yo, Reg, I got to be honest with you, man.
我不认为你会这么做。 I ain't think you was gonna do that shit.
你真的很投入。 You really committed to that.
是啊，比我想象的还要生动。 Yeah, that was more graphic than I was expecting.
那几乎是太远了。 That was almost too far.
你肯定比我强。 You one-upped me, for sure.
我是说，我咬了一个女孩的脚踝。 I mean, I bit a girl's ankle.
你把一个男人的鸡鸡扯下来了。 You ripped a man's penis off.
今天会是最棒的一天。 Today is gonna be the best day ever.
我怎么知道的? How do I know that?
因为每一天都是最美好的一天。 Because every day is the best day ever.
亨特回到了他在老人类之家的工作， Hunter went back to his job at the old human home,
他甚至不需要他的蛋筒。 and he didn't even need his cone.
嘿，耻辱之锥。 Hey, Cone of Shame.
你的灯罩呢? Where's your lampshade?
其实，巴布西，我不需要那个蛋筒了， Actually, Bubsy, I don't need that cone anymore,
就像我再也不需要你的狗屁了。 just like I don't need any of your shit anymore.
去你的，巴布西。 Fuck you, Bubsy.
哇。我不知道你是这么想的。 Wow. I had no idea you felt that way.
我很抱歉。我要走了。 I'm sorry. I-I'm just gonna go.
去你妈的! Fuck your mother!
滚出去! Fuck out of here!
他终于鼓起了勇气 And he finally found the courage
让麦琪知道他对她的感觉 to let Maggie know how he feels about her.
现在他们一直在做爱。 And now they have sex all the time.
当然是普通款式。 Regular style, of course.
好啊!,猎人。 Attaboy, Hunter.
让我想起了我年轻的时候。 Reminds me of when I was young.
你以前上过狗? You used to fuck dogs?
怎么啦？ What?
麦琪，嗯， And Maggie, well,
她终于得到了她应得的主人。 she finally got the owner she deserves.
麦琪现在是侦探组的一员， Maggie's part of the detection squad now,
她是队里最好的嗅探员。 and she's the best sniffer on the team.
我喜欢你给她的服装。 Oh, I love the costume you gave her.
很好。 So good.
制服。工作。 Uniform. For work.
布格还是老布格。 And Bug's the same old Bug.
但有一个非常大的例外。 With one pretty big exception.
他改变了对人的态度。 He's changed his stance on people.
或者至少是一个非常特别的人。 Or at least one very special person.
-而你却情绪低落 - ♪ And you're feeling down ♪
♬你可以跟着我♬ ♪ You can follow me ♪
♬我会告诉你如何去爱 ♪ And I'll show you how to love ♪
♬去爱……♪ ♪ To love... ♪
当然，加入一个家庭有点 Sure, joining a family was a bit
对他来说是一次学习的经历。 of a learning experience for him.
哦，宝贝，我喜欢这个。 Oh, baby, I love this.
你的靠垫比德洛丽丝的紧多了。 Your cushions are so much tighter than Dolores's.
现在，这是什么布料?麂皮绒? Now, what is this fabric? Faux suede?
嘿。 Hey.
哦，嘿，凯文。 Oh, hey, Kevin.
来吧，伙计。不要在沙发上乱搞。 Come on, buddy. No humping the couch.
什么也不能把我们分开。 Nothing will ever come between us.
是的，生活真是太棒了。 Yep, life is pretty damn great.
那我们今晚见吧? So we'll see you guys tonight?
——是的。-你知道的。 - Yep. - You know it.
残渣的夜晚。 Scraps night.
至于我，我选择了流浪， As for me, I chose to stay a stray,
我非常高兴。 and I couldn't be happier.
对于任何需要帮助的狗， And for any dogs in need,
我会给他们指点迷津的。 I'll be there to show them the ropes.
嘿。我是雷吉。你有名字吗? Hey there. I'm Reggie. You got a name?
噢,嗨。我——我Shitstain。 Oh, hi. I'm-I'm Shitstain.
不。不，不，不。那不是你的名字。相信我。 No. No, no, no. That's not your name. Trust me.
流浪狗的第一条规则: Rule number one of being a stray:
你想要什么，就往上面撒尿。 You want something, you pee on it.
你尿在什么上面都是你的。 And whatever you pee on is yours.
哦。这个灯柱怎么样? Oh. How about this lamppost?
-那是我的!——哦。好吧。 - That's mine! - Oh. Okay.
规则二: Rule number two:
你想搞什么就搞什么。 You can pretty much hump whatever you want.
——太酷了!甜蜜的!——太棒了!是的! - Cool! Sweet! - Awesome! Yes!
规则三是最重要的规则，无一例外: Rule number three is the most important rule, bar none:
你并不孤单。 You are not alone.
你知道吗，我以前认为我的位置 You know, I used to think my place
在道格身边，但现在我知道了 was by Doug's side, but now I know
我想在哪就在哪， my place is wherever I want it to be,
我从来没有像现在这样宾至如归。 and I've never felt more at home.
因为我认识一个让我借宿的人 'Cause I know a guy who lets me crash
只要我愿意。 whenever I want.
-嘿，废柴。-嘿，混蛋。 - Hey, loser. - Hey, fuckface.
利亚姆，可爱的邋遢狗回来了! Liam, the cute scruffy dog is back!
-这不是生活吗? - Isn't this the life?
谁是好孩子? Who's a good boy?
你是个好孩子。 You're a good boy.
真是个好孩子。 Such a good boy.
从道格那以后我学到了很多。 I've learned a lot since Doug.
当然，这个世界上有一些坏人， Sure, there are some bad people in this world,
但即使是布格也会同意，好人就在外面。 but even Bug would agree-- the good ones are out there.
你只要睁大眼睛就行。 You just got to keep your eyes open.
嘿,孩子。 Hey, kids.
我要把你的肺从你嘴里扯出来! I'll rip your fucking lungs out through your mouth!
-去你的，邮递员!去你妈的!-王八蛋! - Fuck you, mailman! Fuck you! - Son of a bitch!
这些家伙很有活力，不是吗? Oh, these guys have a lot of energy, don't they?
我要吃了你的蛋蛋…-你是个坏人! I'm-a eat your fucking nut sack... -You're a bad person!
滚出去，你这个邪恶的小混蛋!哦。 Get out of here, you evil, evil little shit! -Aw.
我数到三， I'll give you to the count of three,
然后我就会跳过栅栏 and then I'm gonna jump this fence
——然后操死你!-你这个愚蠢的恶魔! - and skull-fuck you to death! - You stupid fucking evil devil!
你跟你天上的朋友一样坏!一、两个…… You're just as bad as your friend in the sky! -One, two...
-对，对，对。你聪明。-你个混蛋，滚!走吧! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You smart. - You fuckwad, go! Go!
-你真聪明。——走吧!继续前进! - You smart. - Go! Keep moving!
聪明的举动。一直走。 Smart move. Keep walking.
想都别想明天再来。 Don't even think about coming back here tomorrow.
-滚开!是的,婊子。 - Fuck off! Yeah, bitch.
你可不想惹他生气。 You don't want to get this guy angry.
我也许很小，但你不知道 I may be small, but you have no idea
我能做什么。 what I'm capable of.
问问道格就知道了! Just ask Doug!
我把那家伙的鸡巴扯下来了! I ripped the guy's cock off!
这是给Gz的，这是给hustlas的 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪
这是给妓女的，现在回到Gz ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪
这是给Gz的，这是给hustlas的 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪
这是给妓女的，现在回到Gz ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪
♬是1 - 9 - 9 - 3，让我来玩吧 ♪ It's one-nine-nine-trey, so let me just play ♪
♬是史努比·道格，我拿着麦克风 ♪ It's Snoop Dogg, I'm on the mic ♪
-我和Dr. Dre回来了 - ♪ I'm back with Dr. Dre ♪
但这次我要轻轻一碰你的屁股 ♪ But this time I'm-a hit yo' ass with a touch ♪
离开那些混球们，让他们发呆，搞砸了 ♪ To leave motherfuckers in a daze, fucked up ♪
所以坐好，放松，新的杰克被打了 ♪ So sit back, relax, new jacks get smacked ♪
♬是史努比狗狗狗狗，我在最上面 ♪ It's Snoop Doggy Dogg, I'm at the top of the stack ♪
♬我一秒都不缺，我还在检查♬ ♪ I don't lack for a second and I'm still checkin' ♪
♬你在唱片上听到的最混蛋的歌 ♪ The dopest motherfucker that ya hearin' on the record ♪
♬是我，你看，S-N-double-O-P ♪ It's me, ya see, S-N-double-O-P ♪
♬d - o - g - y, d - o - g - y ♪ D-O-double-G-Y, the D-O-double-G ♪
♬我像一只猎鹰在天空翱翔 ♪ I'm fly as a falcon soarin' through the sky ♪
♬我嗨到晕眩，rizzide ♪ And I'm high till I dizzie, rizzide ♪
♬所以检查一下，我很忙，我让你头晕 ♪ So check it, I get busy, I make your head dizzy ♪
♬我像迪兹·吉莱斯皮一样吹爆你的嘴 ♪ I blow up your mouth like I was Dizzy Gillespie ♪
♬我疯了，你骗不了我 ♪ I'm crazy, you can't phase me ♪
♬我是S，哦，是的，我很新鲜 ♪ I'm the S, oh, yes, I'm fresh ♪
♬我不想承受压力 ♪ I don't fuck with the stress ♪
♬我的一切都是慢性的，仿生的，你看 ♪ I'm all about the chronic, bionic, ya see ♪
♬每一天，都和d - o -double- g在一起 ♪ Every single day, chillin' with the D-O-double-Gs ♪
♬P-O-U-N-D，那是我的小团体，我的船员 ♪ P-O-U-N-D, that's my clique, my crew ♪
♬你敢惹我们，我们就揍你 ♪ You fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up ♪
♬我以为你知道，可是还是 ♪ I thought you knew, but yet and still ♪
♬你想变得真实，现在是时候蜕皮了，你说冷静 ♪ You wanna get real, now it's time to peel, you say chill ♪
♬感受这他妈的现实主义 ♪ And feel the motherfuckin' realism ♪
♬史努比小狗小狗在麦克风上 ♪ Snoop Doggy Dogg is on the mic ♪
♬我像钢铁一样坚硬 ♪ I'm hittin' hard as steel ♪
这是给Gz的，这是给hustlas的 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪
这是给妓女的，现在回到Gz ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪
这是给Gz的，这是给hustlas的 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪
这是给妓女的，现在回到Gz ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪
这是给Gz的，这是给hustlas的 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪
这是给妓女的，现在回到Gz ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪
这是给Gz的，这是给hustlas的 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪
♬这是给妓女的，现在回到Gz。♪ ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz. ♪
除了面部多处撕裂伤 In addition to the multiple facial lacerations
还有那些严重的烧伤， and the, uh, severe burn wounds,
我们还发现了数量惊人的， we also discovered an alarming amount of, um,
你体内的粪便细菌 fecal bacteria in your system,
我想应该是来自……的…… um, which I would imagine came from the... the... the-the...
狗在我嘴里拉屎? Dog shitting in my mouth?
——正确的。是的。-是的。 - Right. Yeah. - Yeah.
嗯,叭叭叭…检查剪贴板。 Um, ba-ba-ba... checking the clipboard.
对了，我们也没能把阴茎接上。 Uh, oh, yeah, we also, uh, uh, couldn't reattach the penis.
他妈的…! Fuck...!
♬杰米♬ ♪ Jamie ♪
♬杰米·福克斯♬ ♪ Jamie Foxx ♪
♬威尔·法瑞尔♬ ♪ Will Ferrell ♪
♬脏的，脏的狗 ♪ Dirty, dirty dog ♪
♬我是一只流浪猫 ♪ I'm a stray ♪
别再缠着我了!♪ ♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪
♬我是一只流浪猫 ♪ I'm a str-str-stray ♪
♬我是一只流浪狗。♪ ♪ I'm a stray. ♪