去，走，走，走！ 移动它，移动它！ Go, go, go, go! Move it, move it!
走吧，走吧吧！ 快点！ Let's go, let's go! Come on!
这是一个粉末小桶 在那里。 It's a powder keg in there.
没有人动作 直到我们说话 来自市长。 No one moves till we get word from the mayor.
射击！嘿。 Shoot! Hey.
嘿。小女孩。 Hey. Little girl.
停止。 Stop.
停止！ Stop!
停下来！ Stay down!
你想要什么，小家伙？ What do you want, little one?
你的屁股。 Your ass.
嘘！ Boo!
做得好。 Well done.
WHO... Who...
你是谁？ who are you?
弗兰克·德雷宾（Frank Drebin），警察小队。 Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
新版本。 The new version.
射击。嗯... Shoot. Um...
我的名字是 中士弗兰克·德雷本（Frank Drebin）， My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin,
侦探中尉， 警察小队， Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad,
一个特别的部门 lapd。 a special division of the LAPD.
银行抢劫后的第二天 像其他任何人一样开始。 The day after the bank robbery started like any other.
我醒了 我空的警察公寓， I woke up in my empty cop apartment,
凝视着照片 我已故的警察妻子 stared at a picture of my deceased cop wife
然后cho住警察的眼泪。 and choked back cop tears.
一个完美的早晨？当然。 A perfect morning? Sure.
但是我不知道 这个城市什么 为我存​​储了。 But I had no idea what this city had in store for me.
我勒个去？ What the hell?
嘿！ 他在那里。 Hey! There he is.
路要走，弗兰克！ Way to go, Frank!
谢谢。谢谢大家。 Thank you. Thanks, everyone.
这是什么？ What is this?
不要为他加油！ Don't cheer for him!
你们两个，我的办公室！ You two, my office now!
谢谢你， 我刚刚花了两个小时 Thanks to you, I just spent two hours
咀嚼 由市长。 getting chewed out by the mayor.
显然，有些 银行强盗 您放入ICU， Apparently, some of the bank robbers you put in the ICU,
他们正在律师 起诉城市。 they're lawyering up to sue the city.
那太荒谬了。 他们是罪犯。 That's ridiculous. They're criminals.
这是法律。 It's the law.
从什么时候开始警察 必须遵守法律吗？ Since when do cops have to follow the law?
自从永远。 哦，是吗？ Since forever. Oh, yeah?
谁会逮捕我？ 其他警察？ And who's going to arrest me? Other cops?
是的。 她是认真的吗？ Yes. Is she serious?
他是认真的吗？ Is he serious?
他是...不。 He's... no.
看， 让我保持水晶。 Look, let me be crystal clear.
他们正在威胁 关闭警察小队 因为有你。 They are threatening to shut down Police Squad because of you.
老实说，你很幸运 你还在这里工作 Honestly, you're lucky you still work here
去年之后 麦当劳事件。 after last year's McDonald's incident.
他们不会卖我 自由薯条。 They wouldn't sell me Freedom Fries.
您逮捕了全体员工！ You arrested the entire staff!
我不是 清楚地思考。 I wasn't thinking clearly.
我对 珍妮特·杰克逊超级碗。 I was furious about the Janet Jackson Super Bowl.
那是20年前！ That was 20 years ago!
不是我。 Not to me.
我们了解，首席。 你说得对。 We understand, Chief. You're right.
好的。 Good.
因为我带你 离开银行工作。 'Cause I'm taking you off the bank job.
什么？ 我把你放了 关于碰撞。 What? I'm putting you on collisions.
马里布发生了撞车事故。 There's a crash up in Malibu.
是的，女士。谢谢。 Yes, ma'am. Thank you.
并确保您的车身 实际上已经打开了！ And make sure your bodycams are actually turned on!
知道了。相机将打开。 Got it. Camera will be on.
德雷宾！ Drebin!
这是新的一天 在警察小队！ It's a new day at Police Squad!
事情正在发生变化 这么快。 Things are changing so fast around here.
我想你真的 不能打架市政厅，是吗？ I guess you really can't fight City Hall, huh?
不，这是一栋建筑物。 No. It's a building.
现在，有一个真正的男人。 Now, there's a real man.
他们只是不做 像你的流行音乐了。 They just don't make 'em like your pops anymore.
我很高兴他不是 看看什么 警察小队来了。 I'm glad he's not around to see what Police Squad has come to.
介意我是否花一分钟，埃德？ Mind if I take a minute, Ed?
...当然。 Of... of course.
嗨，爸爸。是我，小弗兰克 Hi, Daddy. It's me, Frank Jr.
我想成为 就像你一样，但是... I want to be just like you, but...
同时， 完全不同 和原始。 at the same time, be completely different and original.
所以，如果您为我感到骄傲， So, if you're proud of me,
给我一个标志，就像... give me a sign, like...
也许让我看到 猫头鹰之类的东西。 maybe make me see an owl or something.
嘿，爸爸。 Hey, Dad.
是我，埃德。 It's me, Ed.
男孩，我想念你吗？ Boy, do I miss you.
嘿，流行。 Hey, Pops.
mm-mm。 Mm-mm.
埃德和我拉起了 到马里布车祸 下午2:00左右 Ed and I pulled up to the Malibu car crash around 2:00 p.m.
没有什么不寻常的。 Nothing unusual.
但是在这个城市， 通常是不寻常的...通常。 But in this city, usual is unusual... usually.
我勒个去？ What the hell?
那你怎么样 昨晚约会，弗兰克？ So how was your date last night, Frank?
啊，我不能去 通过它。 Ah, I couldn't go through with it.
你取消了吗？ 没有。 You canceled? Nope.
我不想让她不高兴 I didn't want to upset her,
所以我有巴恩斯军官 告诉她我被刺伤了 致死。 so I had Officer Barnes tell her I was stabbed to death.
你是真实的 浪漫，弗兰克。 You're a real romantic, Frank.
但是每个人都需要一个人 甚至像你一样的w夫。 But everyone needs someone, even a widower like you.
我还没准备好 打开自己再次爱。 I'm just not ready to open myself to love again.
我让他们等待清理 残骸，你可以 注视它​​。 I had them wait to clear the wreck so you could get eyes on it.
崩溃发生了 凌晨4:00左右 Crash happened around 4:00 a.m.
好吧，没有打滑的痕迹 在路上。 Well, there are no skid marks on the road.
他没有刹车 在过去之前。 He didn't hit the brakes before going over.
醉？ Drunk?
一点。就足够了 叫醒我。 A little. Just enough to wake me up.
花哨的汽车。 Fancy car.
是的，这是一个 那些新的 Edentech电气。 Yeah, it's one of those new EdenTech electric ones.
电，是吗？ Electric, huh?
我记得什么时候 只有事物 电是鳗鱼，椅子， I remember when the only things that were electric were eels, chairs,
和凯瑟琳·泽塔·琼斯（Catherine Zeta-Jones） 在芝加哥。 and Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago.
空药瓶。 Empty pill bottles.
嗯。 Huh.
他是谁？ Who was he?
西蒙·达文波特（Simon Davenport），现年53岁。 Simon Davenport, 53 years old.
没有妻子，没有孩子。 No wife, no kids.
他有一个姐姐 在汉考克公园（Hancock Park） He's got a sister out in Hancock Park,
但是我们真的不知道 关于她的一切 除了她的名字。 but we don't really know anything about her other than her name.
贝丝·达文波特。 Beth Davenport.
离婚，5'6“，130磅。 Divorced, 5'6", 130 pounds.
个性的喷火。 自称为巧克力。 Spitfire of a personality. Self-proclaimed chocoholic.
喜欢户外活动 但是一样快乐 卷着一本好书。 Likes outdoorsy things but is just as happy curling up with a good book.
好的。我已经够了。 All right. I've seen enough.
将其标记为自杀。 Mark it as suicide.
前进！ Go ahead!
带上起重机！ Bring in the crane!
哦，我的天哪，已经上了！ 等等，我看到了 我得到的！ Oh, my God, it's up! Wait, I got to see what I got!
是的，我明白了！ 来吧，伙计！ Yes, I got it! Come on, man!
她甚至不能唱歌！ She can't even sing!
中尉？ 怎么了，巴恩斯？ Lieutenant? What's up, Barnes?
看，我知道你不在 先生，银行工作，但我可以 真正使用您的建议。 Look, I know you're off the bank job, sir, but I could really use your advice.
大胆试试吧。 看，是 最奇怪的事情。 Go for it. Look, it's the strangest thing.
所有的小偷从来没有 彼此见面 All the thieves had never met each other
他们都不知道 他们为谁工作。 and none of them knew who they were working for.
杰出的！ Brilliant!
如果他们什么都不知道， 他们不能尖叫。 If they don't know anything, they can't squeal.
任何精心策划的人 这很聪明。 Whoever orchestrated this is very smart.
并明白。 And get this.
强盗被告知 他们可以保留现金。 The robbers were told that they could keep the cash.
组织银行抢劫 并且不保留现金？ Who organizes a bank robbery and doesn't keep the cash?
他们一定是 之后。 They must have been after something else.
你为什么不带来 其中之一？ Why don't you bring in one of the perps?
看看我们是否可以 让他们说话。 See if we can get them talking.
知道了。谢谢。 Got it. Thank you.
弗兰克。 你有一个访客。 Heads up, Frank. You got a visitor.
我告诉她在外面等 但是她只是走进去。 I told her to wait outside, but she just walked in.
你要我摆脱她吗？ You want me to get rid of her?
不。 No.
没关系， 我会处理的。 That's okay, I'll deal with it.
哦。 Oh.
在这里，中尉。 Over here, Lieutenant.
我发誓爱 我妻子去世后 I'd sworn off love after my wife died,
但是这个女人是 汇集 正确的方式。 but this woman was put together in all the right ways.
脸，头，肩膀， 膝盖和脚趾。 Face, head, shoulders, knees and toes.
膝盖和脚趾... Knees and toes...
和底部 任何厕所乞求棕色。 and a bottom that would make any toilet beg for the brown.
抱歉让你留下 等待，女士。 Sorry to keep you waiting, ma'am.
我该如何帮助您？ How may I help you?
你错了 关于西蒙·达文波特。 You're wrong about Simon Davenport.
他不会自杀。 He wouldn't commit suicide.
西蒙·达文波特。 Simon Davenport.
僵硬 马里布崩溃。 The stiff from the Malibu crash.
那僵硬是我的兄弟。 That stiff was my brother.
哦，我的意思是...他不是 那真的很僵硬。 Oh, I mean... he wasn't that stiff, really.
还没有。 Not yet.
更多的软盘和肿。 More floppy and bloated.
不，我的意思是，我很抱歉 为了损失。 No, I mean, I'm so sorry for your loss.
请坐椅。 Please, take a chair.
不，谢谢。 No, thank you.
我有很多 家里的椅子。 I have plenty of chairs at home.
现在，太太... Now, Mrs...
长椅。 Davenport.
贝丝·达文波特小姐。 Miss Beth Davenport.
先生。？ 德宾。 Mr.? Drebin.
错过... Miss...
侦探弗兰克·德雷宾（Frank Drebin）。 Detective Frank Drebin.
我认为侦探 有人谋杀了西蒙。 Detective, I think someone murdered Simon.
真的吗？是什么 你认为吗？ Really? What makes you think that?
好吧，他昨晚给我打电话。 Well, he called me last night.
他说他在 某种麻烦。 He said he was in some kind of trouble.
所以我们制定了计划 今天早上见面。 So we made plans to meet this morning.
听起来像 有人计划的人 杀死自己？ Does that sound like someone who's planning to kill themselves?
不，当然不是。 No, it certainly does not.
为什么会有人 对他这样吗？ Why would someone do that to him?
相信我， Trust me,
总是有原因 杀死某人。 there's always a reason to kill someone.
他有一个 令人讨厌的笑？ Did he have an obnoxious laugh?
不。 No.
对不起， 我只是我自己。 Forgive me, I'm just not myself.
没关系。 我也不是你。 That's okay. I'm not you, either.
告诉我， Tell me,
你兄弟做了什么 上班？ what did your brother do for work?
计算机。 Computers.
他是程序员 对于理查德甘蔗。 He was a programmer for Richard Cane.
天才的人 拯救世界 他的电动汽车。 The genius who's gonna save the world with his electric cars.
好吧，他是第一个人 你应该谈谈。 Well, he's the first person you should talk to.
那你可以检查 西蒙的驾驶记录 看看他们是否匹配。 Then you could check Simon's driving records and see if they match.
哇，哇。放慢脚步。 Whoa, whoa. Slow down there.
打扰一下？ Excuse me?
让我们离开 警察对我工作，好吗？ Let's just leave the police work to me, okay?
哦。我懂了。 Oh. I see.
同样的旧故事 和像你这样的人。 Same old story with guys like you.
伙计们喜欢我吗？ Guys like me?
顽固的老人 他们知道什么是最好的。 Stubborn old men who think they know what's best.
我知道你不高兴， 但这就是我要做的。 I understand you're upset, but this is what I do.
如果有人这样做 离开你的兄弟， 我会找到他。 If someone did off your brother, I'll find him.
我很感激，侦探。 但是西蒙就是我所拥有的。 I appreciate that, Detective. But Simon was all I had.
所以你会原谅我 如果我不只是坐在身边 希望你能做好工作。 So you'll forgive me if I don't just sit around and hope you do your job.
就是这样 我希望你做。 That's exactly what I expect you to do.
当我有什么东西时 我会联系你。 When I have something, I'll contact you.
我正在做一个系列 本周的书读数。 I'm doing a series of book readings this week.
你可以在那里找到我。 You can find me there.
读书？ Book readings?
是的。我写的 真犯罪小说 Yes. I write true-crime novels
基于虚构的故事 我弥补了。 based on fictional stories that I make up.
是的，好吧， Yes, well,
您可能会写关于它的 you may write about it,
但是我活着。 but I live it.
现在，如果你能原谅我， 我们正在举行生日聚会 Now, if you'll excuse me, we're having a birthday party
我是最好的歌手 在办公室。 and I'm the best singer in the office.
第二次思考， 我会拿那把椅子。 On second thought, I will take that chair.
哇。 Whoa.
我不记得了 上次有人 那样跟我说话。 I couldn't remember the last time someone had talked to me like that.
那是那种 打扮 您通常必须付费 It was the kind of dressing down you usually have to pay for
在地下室 自助洗衣店。 但是她... in the basement of a laundromat. But she...
她有那种臀部 She had the kind of hips
你想放一个呼啦圈 上旋转。 you wanted to put a hula hoop on and spin.
那种让你的... The kind that made you...
小伙子，你介意吗？ Fellas, do you mind?
我不相信 西蒙·达文波特 被谋杀了。 I wasn't convinced Simon Davenport had been murdered.
但是案件开始了 给我痒。 But the case was starting to give me an itch.
当我开始从头开始时， And when I start to scratch,
我不会停下来直到我破裂皮肤 I don't stop till I break skin
和医生 让我穿手套。 and the doctor makes me wear mittens.
谢谢。 Thanks.
外套检查？ 香槟酒？ Coat check? Champagne?
理查德·甘特（Richard Cane） 发了第一笔 在微处理器中， Richard Cane had made his first fortune in microprocessors,
然后使用它 建造广阔的 在线零售市场 and then used it to build a vast online retail marketplace
和绿色技术帝国。 and green technology empire.
然后，突然， 熊向我收费。 Then, suddenly, the bear charges towards me.
我准备了刀， I ready my knife,
他就经过我 and he barrels right past me
蜂蜜蜂巢 在营地上方！ to a honey hive above the campsite!
它一直在那里！ It had been there all along!
而且我没看过。 And I hadn't seen it.
啊。你到了。 Ah. You've arrived.
德雷宾中尉。 Lieutenant Drebin.
我也是！ 我是Richar ... Me, too! I'm Richar...
理查德甘蔗。 Richard Cane.
拜托，和我同行。 Please, walk with me.
所以，你能告诉我什么 关于达文波特先生？ So, what can you tell me about Mr. Davenport?
西蒙是 出色的工程师， Simon was a brilliant engineer,
这是我们最好的。 and one of our best.
我不知道 他非常沮丧。 I had no idea he was so terribly depressed.
自杀是一件可怕的事情。 Suicide is a dreadful thing.
可能的自杀。 Possible suicide.
你怀疑有什么犯规吗？ You suspect something foul?
不。 做不到。 No. A chicken probably couldn't do this.
但我不统治 一切。 But I'm not ruling anything out.
我懂了。 I see.
这是其中之一 西蒙在做吗？ Was this one of the projects Simon was working on?
不，你在这里看到的 是红灯治疗机 No, what you see here is a red light therapy machine
被证明是 增加睾丸激素。 proven to increase testosterone.
你知道吗 男子的精子数 处于历史性的低点 Did you know that men's sperm count is at historic lows
整个董事会？ 迷人。 across the board? Fascinating.
我从来没有把我的 精子穿过板。 I've never put my sperm across a board.
我有一个老 Bon Jovi T恤 为此。 I have an old Bon Jovi T-shirt for that.
你知道，希望你 不要以为这很尴尬 我的意思是 You know, I hope you don't think it's awkward my saying this,
但是我实际上 您的忠实粉丝。 but I'm actually a big fan of yours.
是这样吗？ 是的。 Is that so? Yes.
我读了你的工作 在银行抢劫。 I read about your work at the bank robbery.
男人喜欢你 是垂死的品种。 Guys like you are a dying breed.
伙计们喜欢我吗？ 是的，行动的人 Guys like me? Yes, men of action
谁不要求许可 解决他们所知道的 被打破了。 who don't ask permission to fix what they know is broken.
我很惊讶 你说， I'm surprised to hear you say that,
来自某人 这些小工具是谁。 coming from someone who's so into these gadgets.
哦。你不喜欢 奇迹 现代？ Oh. You don't enjoy the marvels of the modern age?
没有冒犯，但是世界 以前更好。 No offense, but the world was better before.
我同意， 但是不要告诉任何人。 I agree, but don't tell anyone.
呃，雪茄？ Uh, cigar?
对我看。 Looks it to me.
不，你想要一个吗？ No, would you like one?
在室内吸烟？ Smoking indoors?
想给我写票吗？ Care to write me a ticket?
那本火柴手册。 That matchbook.
我以前看过。 I've seen it before.
这是孟加拉国。 It's the Bengal.
这是我拥有的晚餐俱乐部 对于城市的一些精英。 It's a supper club I own for some of the city's elite.
这是那种地方 男人可以自己， It's the kind of place where men can be themselves,
喝几杯，呃， have a few drinks and, uh,
像黑眼豌豆 曾经说过， like the Black Eyed Peas once said,
“在这里智障。” "get retarded in here."
你仍然可以说这个词吗？ You can still say that word?
在我的俱乐部里，你可以。 In my club, you can.
好吧，我爱 黑眼豌豆。 Well, I love the Black Eyed Peas.
谁没有？ 我认识一些人。 Who doesn't? I know a few people.
他们是傻瓜。 我知道。 They're fools. I know.
will.i.am。 apl.de.ap。 will.i.am. apl.de.ap.
忌讳。 Taboo.
不要忘记弗吉。 我永远不会忘记Fergie。 Don't forget Fergie. I would never forget Fergie.
荷兰人。 The Dutchess.
出色地， 如果您需要什么， Well, if you need anything,
请不要 犹豫打电话。 please don't hesitate to call.
谢谢。我会取得联系。 Thank you. I'll be in touch.
嗯，就是这样。 当然。 Uh, it's that way. Of course.
嗯。 Huh.
我们为什么不得到德雷宾先生 明天的小礼物？ Why don't we get Mr. Drebin a little gift for tomorrow?
Edenvox-1。 The EdenVox-1.
警察小队有史以来第一个 完全自动化的自动驾驶 Police Squad's first ever fully automated, self-driving
电动汽车。 electric vehicle.
我们刚收到的礼物 来自理查德甘蔗。 A gift we just received from Richard Cane.
你一定是做的 某种印象 昨晚，弗兰克。 You must've made some kind of impression last night, Frank.
是的，似乎是如此。 Yeah, it would seem so.
咖啡？ 是的，谢谢。 Coffee? Yes, thank you.
不要害羞，伙计。 快来检查一下。 Don't be shy, fellas. Come check it out.
舒适。 Snug.
全部电。 All electric.
在3.1秒内零至60。 Zero to sixty in 3.1 seconds.
我想那很好。 I guess that's good.
看这个。 Watch this.
汽车，开门。 Car, open doors.
整洁的技巧。 现在您尝试。 Neat trick. Now you try.
车... Car...
拜托，关门。 please, close doors.
嘿！ Hey!
我想很有趣。 Pretty fun, I guess.
好吧，那呢？车... Okay, how about this? Car...
向前30英尺。 drive forward 30 feet.
很顺利。 好的。 Pretty smooth. All right.
感人的。 Impressive.
嘿！伙计们？ Hey! Guys?
冻结！ 不 - Freeze! Don't--
我告诉你，这个地方 正在崩溃。 I tell you, this place is falling apart.
我有六名目击者 那把你放在现场。 I got half a dozen witnesses that place you on the scene.
我们知道您在银行！ We know you were at the bank!
我告诉你， 我不在那里。 I'm telling you, I wasn't there.
谢谢，公园。 Thanks, Park.
这是说唱表 你在这里。 This is quite the rap sheet you've got here.
它说你服务了 20年 为“男人的笑声”。 It says you served 20 years for "man's laughter."
一定是个玩笑。 Must have been quite the joke.
你的意思是“过失杀人”？ You mean "manslaughter"?
出色地... Well...
我们知道你的老板 不想现金。 we know your boss didn't want cash.
那是什么意义 抢劫？ 他想要什么？ So what was the point of the robbery? What did he want?
我...不是...在那里。 I... wasn't... there.
你认为你很聪明。 You think you're so smart.
好吧，我认为我的身体车 可能讲另一个故事。 Well, I think my bodycam might tell a different story.
ed？ Ed?
确实是技术 是什么。 Technology really is something.
警察小队就是 这些天“透明度”。 Police Squad is all about "transparency" these days.
调度，这是德雷宾。 10-7. Dispatch, this is Drebin. 10-7.
哦，是的！ Oh, yeah!
辣椒狗。 A chili dog.
嗯！ Mm-hmm!
冠军早餐。 Breakfast of champions.
还有一点 黑咖啡。 And a little black coffee.
好吧，你可以 快进一点。 Okay, you can fast-forward a bit.
许可和 请注册。 License and registration, please.
呃... Uh...
这不是我的。 This isn't mine.
打扰一下。 Excuse me.
哦，男孩。听着，呃， Oh, boy. Listen, uh,
你看起来像是一个体面的家伙。 you seem like a decent fella.
我要让你离开 警告。 祝你有美好的一天，再见。 I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Have a great day, bye.
今天晚些时候。 快进一会儿。 It's much later in the day. Fast-forward a while.
你会看到的。等一下。 You'll see. Just wait.
我需要一个浴室。哦，上帝。 I need a bathroom. Oh, God.
来吧，移动，移动，移动！ Come on, move, move, move!
焦点，弗兰克，重点。 Focus, Frank, focus.
你明白了，你得到了。 You got this, you got this.
也许还有更多。 Maybe a little more.
我要毁了另一个西装！ I'm gonna ruin another suit!
巴恩斯！ Barnes!
对不起。 Sorry.
警察生意！ Police business!
嗯，有一条线， 男人！ Uh, there is a line, man!
快点！ Come on!
你真令人恶心， 你愚蠢的白痴。 You're disgusting, you stupid idiot.
母乳喂养直到13岁， 你怪异。 Breastfed until you were 13, you freak.
没有 牛奶的恶臭 在你的下巴上。 Can't get it up without the stench of milk on your chin.
你不敢。 Don't you dare.
不要做。不要吃！ Don't do it. Don't eat it!
哦，上帝！ 坦率。 Oh, God! Frank.
那天我还有五个。 I had five more that day.
感觉更好，弗兰克？ 您最好相信。 Feel better, Frank? You better believe it.
毫米！ Mm!
是的！ Yes!
那是你在银行里， 白天很普通。 That's you inside the bank, plain as day.
好吧，很好。 Okay, fine.
无论我们为谁工作， 他们疯了。 Whoever we was working for, they was crazy.
我的意思是，他们只是想要 我们要得到一些 保管箱。 I mean, they just wanted us to get some safe deposit box.
保管箱。 Safe deposit box.
那里。方框595。 There. Box 595.
- ed，检查列表。 - 是的。 - Ed, check the list. - Yep.
你不会相信 这个，弗兰克。 You're not gonna believe this one, Frank.
西蒙·达文波特。 Simon Davenport.
所以你是说 So you're saying,
这两个案例... these two cases...
是一种情况。 are one case.
先生们，当你加入我 要启动Edentech， Gentlemen, when you joined me to launch EdenTech,
有一个目标。 it was with one goal.
拯救世界。 To save the world.
一起，我们创建了 竞争对手的技术 众神。 Together, we've created technologies to rival the Gods.
有世界 变得更好吗？ Has the world gotten any better?
不，情况变得更糟。 No. It's only gotten worse.
现在，开国元勋 创造了这个国家， Now, when the Founding Fathers created this country,
他们坐在这样的房间里 充满了像我们这样的人， they sat in a room like this, filled with men like us,
并孕育了一个帝国。 and birthed an empire.
美国。 The USA.
是的，是的。 Yes, that's right.
但是随着岁月的流逝 But as years went by,
其他人想要 进入那个房间。 other people wanted to get into that room.
鱼人。 Fish people.
什么？ 鱼人。 What? Fish people.
g在他们的脖子上。 Gills on their necks.
我不 - 像人事和梅沃门。 I don't-- Like mermen and merwomen.
美人鱼。 正确的。 Mermaids. Right.
不，停下来。 不是钓鱼。 No, stop. Not fish people.
忘恩负义的人。 Ungrateful people.
没有赚钱的人 他们的座位在桌子上。 People that did not earn their seat at the table.
人们没有建造 就像这个房间里的男人一样。 People not built like the men in this room.
螃蟹手。 Crab hands.
他们有螃蟹手 而不是手指。 They had crab hands instead of fingers.
停止！我知道我的意思。 所以让我说话。 Stop! I know what I mean. So just let me do the talking.
这是一个螃蟹手。 我遇到了他。 This is a crab-hand person. I've met him.
把手机收起来！ Put the phone away!
现在是时候了 让我们承认 Now, it is time for us to admit
我们走的那条路 不起作用。 that the path we are on is not working.
系统破裂了。 The system's broken.
当一个人做什么 系统发生故障吗？ And what does one do when a system is malfunctioning?
你拔下它。 You unplug it.
进而， And then,
您再次将其插入。 you plug it in again.
我称其为原始 韧性设备定律。 I call it the Primordial Law of Toughness Device.
现在让我告诉你 它的能力。 Now let me show you what it's capable of.
去年，我们设置了相机 在当地社区中心。 Last year, we set up cameras at the local community center.
决定跑步 一点实验。 Decided to run a little experiment.
问题。 The question.
会发生什么 对现代人类 What would happen to modern humans
如果你恢复了他们的心理 到原始 自然状态？ if you reverted their psyche to an original state of nature?
激活时，设备 发送音频频率 When activated, the device sends an audio frequency
减少大脑 到它的动物核心。 that reduces the brain to its animalistic core.
在这种情况下， 频率有限。 In this case, the frequency was limited.
但是下次，它将传播 通过每个智能设备 But next time, it will spread through every smart device
直到全世界 被感染。 until the entire world is infected.
至于我们，爆炸时， As for us, upon detonation,
我们将衰变我的一个 世界各地的超级掩体 we will decamp to one of my super bunkers around the world
会在哪里 食物和水， where there will be food and water,
最好 现场娱乐 世界必须提供。 and the best live entertainment the world has to offer.
怎么了，邪恶的亿万富翁？ What's up, evil billionaires?
我很高兴 进行现场表演 I am so excited to be doing live shows
只要需要 for as long as it takes,
在世界末日 咯咯笑的掩体 in the Doomsday Giggle Bunkeroom
位于4街区 亚利桑那州地区。 located in Block 4 of the Arizona District.
在那里见！ See you there!
阿米什人的天堂。 Amish Paradise.
唔。 Hmm.
当余烬 已经消失了， And when the embers have died down,
任何幸存者都离开了 会赚取的 他们与我们一起的位置， any survivors left will have earned their place alongside us,
我们将回到一个世界 and we will return to a world
那只是一个空白的板岩 我们可以重建 that is but a blank slate upon which we can rebuild
作为开国元勋 一个新的伊甸园。 as the founding fathers of a new Eden.
先生们，女士， Gentlemen, lady,
这个除夕， 我给你... this New Year's Eve, I give you...
Project Inferno！ Project Inferno!
事实证明 甘蔗的夜总会 只有半英里 It turned out that Cane's nightclub was only half a mile
从哪里 西蒙·达文波特（Simon Davenport）坠毁。 from where Simon Davenport crashed.
那让我思考。 And that got me thinking.
也许他去过那里 他去世的那天晚上。 Maybe he had been there the night he died.
所以我跳了 我的新电动巡洋舰... So I hopped into my new electric cruiser...
...并告诉它 前往马里布。 ...and told it to head to Malibu.
警告。 请带方向盘。 Warning. Please take the wheel.
检测到碰撞。 请带方向盘。 Collision detected. Please take the wheel.
走出路！移动！ Get out of the road! Move!
你们怎么了？ 检测到碰撞。 What's wrong with you people? Collision detected.
这个城市要什么？ What is this city coming to?
我能得到什么？ What can I get you?
我想知道 如果你能帮我。 I was wondering if you could help me.
我正在寻找朋友 谁可能来过这里。 I'm looking for a friend who may have been here before.
不，我没见过他。 Nah, I haven't seen him.
你几乎看不到它。 我看到了足够的。 You hardly looked at it. I saw enough.
你不记得我， 你？ You don't remember me, do you?
我应该吗？ Should I?
我的兄弟，你开枪 “以正义的名义。” My brother, you shot him "in the name of justice."
从字面上可以 成千上万的人。 That can literally be thousands of people.
向后开枪 当他逃跑时。 Shot him in the back as he ran away.
数百个。 徒手。 Hundreds. Unarmed.
至少50。 他是白人。 At least 50. He was white.
所以你 托尼·罗兰（Tony Roiland）的兄弟！ So you're Tony Roiland's brother!
这是正确的。 That's right.
老托尼怎么样？ 你是认真的？ How is old Tony? Are you serious?
坏的。 Bad.
正确的。 Right.
所以，你的朋友， 也许我见过他。 So, your friend, maybe I have seen him.
也许我没有。 Maybe I haven't.
我不记得了。 I can't remember.
- 你不记得了吗？ - 不。 - You can't remember, huh? - Nah.
好吧，也许 这会慢跑您的记忆。 Well, maybe this'll jog your memory.
哦！ Oh!
啊! Ah!
钱币！ Oof!
g！ Gah!
更好。还记得吗？ That's better. Remember now?
是的，我记得。 Yeah, I remember.
他坐在一个角落的摊位里。 他喝了一杯。 He sat in a corner booth. He had a drink.
但这就是我所知道的。 But that's all I know.
他们保留在哪里 监视镜头？ Where do they keep surveillance footage?
在后面。 In the back.
但是我也不 允许进入那里。 But even I'm not allowed in there.
谢谢。 Thank you.
在那里 她又来了。 And there she was again.
我不得不承认， 她很漂亮。 I had to admit, she was beautiful.
她有一个身体 那把她的头抬起了 She had a body that carried her head around,
似乎说的屁股 and a butt that seemed to say,
“你好，我在说话。” "Hello, I'm a talking butt."
优雅的？是的，我会这么说。 Elegant? Yeah, I'd say so.
哦！ Oh!
但是像一个少年 有三个保姆工作， But like a teenager with three babysitting jobs,
我不需要另一个 保姆工作。 I didn't need another babysitting job.
你好，中尉。 Hello, Lieutenant.
我勒个去 你在这里吗？ What the hell are you doing here?
我在做 你是同一件事。 I'm doing the same thing you are.
我告诉你我不会 坐在周围等待。 I told you I wasn't gonna sit around and wait.
听着，这不是 你的故事之一。 Listen, this isn't one of your stories.
普通平民妇女 不要突然解决犯罪。 Average civilian women don't suddenly solve crimes.
哦，你读了我的书。 Oh, you read my book.
你怎么想？ What'd you think?
我认为这是一个幻想。 I think it's a fantasy.
一个女人穿着 假发和太阳镜 A woman puts on a wig and sunglasses
突然 她是刺客？ and suddenly she's an assassin?
但是你喜欢吗？ But did you enjoy it?
它有一些好的部分。 It had some good parts.
啊! Ah!
德雷宾中尉。 Lieutenant Drebin.
他知道吗？ 你是西蒙的姐姐吗？ Does he know you're Simon's sister?
不。 好的。让我们保持这种方式。 No. Good. Let's keep it that way.
多么惊喜。 What a wonderful surprise.
很好，谢谢。 Fine, thank you.
美丽的地方 你在这里。 Beautiful place you've got here.
不会闻到 死者完全。 Can't smell the dead animals at all.
谢谢。 Thank you.
嗯，我可以喝一杯吗？ Uh, can I get you a drink?
只是水。和闪闪发光。 Just water. And sparkling.
谁是 这个令人惊叹的生物？ And who is this stunning creature?
我不相信我们已经见面了。 I don't believe we've met.
好吧，我 - 呃，... 这是小姐... Well, I'm-- Uh, th... this is Miss...
樱桃... Cherry...
罗斯福... Roosevelt...
脂肪bozo chowing意大利面条。 Fat Bozo Chowing Spaghetti.
多么有趣的名字。 是的。 What an interesting name. Yes.
谢谢。 Thank you.
所以，中尉， 是什么把你带到这里？ So, Lieutenant, what brings you here?
我希望你能 让我看看 您的安全录像。 I was hoping you could let me take a look at your security footage.
哦。我可以问为什么吗？ Oh. May I ask why?
继续前进。 Go right ahead.
呃... Uh...
不幸的是，我不能 向您显示安全录像。 Unfortunately, I can't show you security footage.
我们的成员信任 我们将为他们提供 Our members trust that we will provide them
最高 隐私水平。 with the highest level of privacy.
我希望你明白。 I hope you understand.
我开始了。 I'm starting to.
好，非常感谢 为了喝酒。 Well, thank you so much for the drink.
已经晚了。 我们真的一定要去。 It's getting late. We really must be going.
这么快？ So soon?
我希望你不要离开， 同样，意大利面条小姐。 I hope you're not leaving, too, Miss Spaghetti.
哦，我 - 是的，她也要离开。 Oh, well, I-- Yes, she's leaving, too.
清晨 明天在迪士尼乐园。 Early morning at Disneyland tomorrow.
她是其中之一 那些迪士尼成年人。 She's one of those Disney adults.
真的很着迷。 她的床覆盖着洋娃娃。 Obsessed, really. Her bed is covered in dolls.
哦，意大利小姐， 请留下一杯。 Oh, Miss Spaghetti, please stay for a drink.
嗯，你不介意， 你，德雷宾吗？ Uh, you don't mind, do you, Drebin?
做我的客人。 Be my guest.
精彩的。我得到一张桌子。 Wonderful. I'll get a table.
你得到镜头， 我会让他占领。 You get the footage, I'll keep him occupied.
我...绝对不是！ I'm... Absolutely not!
哦，谢谢。 Oh, thank you.
哇。这个地方很棒。 Wow. This place is amazing.
啊。谢谢。 Ah. Thank you.
意大利小姐， 我可以自由说话吗？ Miss Spaghetti, may I speak freely?
我更喜欢英语。 I'd prefer English.
你很多 太成熟... You're much too sophisticated...
...对于喜欢 弗兰克·德雷宾（Frank Drebin）。 ...for the likes of Frank Drebin.
哦。我不和德雷宾在一起。 Oh. I'm not with Drebin.
哦。出色地， 这是个好消息！ Oh. Well, that's wonderful news!
钱币！ Oof!
干杯。 Cheers.
来自比尔·科斯比的 私人财产。 From Bill Cosby's private estate.
毫米。 Mm.
g！钱币！ Gah! Oof!
那伤了！ That hurt!
射击！ Shoot!
妈妈，妈妈， 现在不是一个好时机。 Mom, Mom, now is not a good time.
妈妈，请， 我给你回电话。 Mom, please, I'll call you back.
我必须走。我必须走。 我现在要去。 I got to go. I got to go. I got to go now.
所以告诉我， So, tell me,
你去过什么 最近从事？ what have you been working on lately?
哦，我们不要谈论工作。 让我们谈谈玩游戏。 Oh, let's not talk about work. Let's talk about play.
嗯，你喜欢爵士吗 意大利面小姐？ Uh, do you like jazz, Miss Spaghetti?
喜欢吗？ 嗯。 Like it? Hm.
我喜欢它。 我喜欢它。 I love it. I love it.
先生。嗯... Sir. Um...
我们有问题。 We've got a problem.
现在不要。 Not now.
不，这是一个... 现在不要。 No, it's quite... Not now.
是的，先生。 Yes, sir.
这是我的 电动新朋友， This one's for my electric new friend,
理查德甘蔗。 Richard Cane.
哇！ Wow!
Sassafras Chickenin D. Sassafras Chickenin D.
使它额外块状，男孩。 Make it extra lumpy, boys.
我一直说 战斗很像 爵士音乐。 I've always said fighting is a lot like jazz music.
类似于泡沫的即兴演奏 A scat-like improv
让人想象的地方 控制自己的身体。 where one lets imagination take control of their body.
嗯？ Huh?
哦... Oh...
我很好。 I'm fine.
是的！ Yeah!
我爱有两件事。 我全职女朋友 There's two things I love. My stay-at-home girlfriend
大猩猩坚果... 快点。 and Gorilla Nut... Come on.
...增强的饮料 男性补充。 ...enhanced drink supplement for men.
不要遵循时尚饮食 和假锻炼。 Don't follow fad diets and fake workouts.
你想被撕裂吗？ You want to get ripped?
您需要的只是肌肉粘液。 摩擦它， - All you need is Muscle Slime. Rub it on and--
好吧，看看。 Well, look at that.
你是谁，我的秘密 窃听朋友？ And who are you, my secret eavesdropping friend?
道格拉斯·奥赖利（Douglas O'Reilly）， 调查记者， Douglas O'Reilly, investigative journalist,
洛杉矶编年史。 L.A. Chronicle.
射击。 Shoot.
似乎德雷本先生 可能是一个问题 比我们想的。 It seems Mr. Drebin might be more of a problem than we thought.
我要你保持 看着他。 I want you to keep an eye on him.
并确保他不会造成 更多的干扰。 And make sure he doesn't cause any more distractions.
是的，先生。 Yes, sir.
戴维斯。这更好。 Davis. This better be good.
他做了什么？ He did what?
让我瞬间让我德宾！ Get me Drebin this instant!
女士，我很抱歉， 但是你必须听我说。 Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but you have to listen to me.
有更深的东西 继续这里。 There's something deeper going on here.
你醒来 我丈夫，我向上帝发誓... You wake up my husband, I swear to God...
对不起。 我勒个去 你在想吗，德雷宾？ I'm sorry. What the hell were you thinking, Drebin?
理查德·拐杖是 一个非常有权势的人。 Richard Cane is a very powerful man.
而且他很沉重 向这座城市捐款， And he makes a lot of hefty donations to this city,
包括新车 你在开车。 including the new car you're driving.
理查德甘蔗很脏。 Richard Cane is dirty.
他参与了 西蒙·达文波特谋杀案。 He's involved with the Simon Davenport murder.
顺便说一句 银行工作也是！ And by the way, the bank job, too!
你还在工作 银行工作？ You're still working the bank job?
就是这样。 你被暂停了！ That's it. You're suspended!
暂停？ Suspended?
我说了什么 关于唤醒罗纳德？ What did I say about waking Ronald?
他有一个菲茨杰拉德 明天演讲。 He has a Fitzgerald presentation tomorrow.
如果莫里莫托没有 接受他的 垂直融合倾斜， And if Morimoto doesn't accept his vertical-integration pitch,
比尔·坎托（Bill Cantor）将超越他 连续第三年。 Bill Cantor will leapfrog him for the third year in a row.
但是罗纳德训练了比尔。 确切地！ But Ronald trained Bill. Exactly!
我别无选择。 I've got no choice.
我把你放在冰上。 两个星期。 I'm putting you on ice. Two weeks.
立即生效。 Effective immediately.
现在下车。 Now get out.
我们都是 罗纳德，为你加油。 We're all rooting for you, Ronald.
明天给他们地狱。 Give 'em hell tomorrow.
艰难的夜晚？ Rough night?
哦。是你。 Oh. It's you.
现在告诉我。 你看到了什么 在安全镜头上？ Now tell me. What'd you see on the security footage?
听。我为你感到。 我真的 Listen. I feel for you. I really do.
但是我不得不殴打 今晚很多伙计们。 But I had to beat up a lot of henchmen tonight.
男人和女儿！ Men with daughters!
哦，来吧。你不会 甚至看过 如果我没有帮助你。 Oh, come on. You wouldn't even have seen it if I didn't help you.
帮我？那很富裕。 Help me? That's rich.
现在，如果你能原谅我， 我累了，我饿了。 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm tired, I'm hungry.
晚安，达文波特小姐。 Goodnight, Miss Davenport.
如果我们有 吃一点晚餐，一起吗？ What if we had a little dinner, together?
我肯定可以去... I sure could go for a...
咬。 bite.
放慢脚步，厨师。 这只火鸡在450燃烧。 Slow down, chef. This turkey burns at 450.
我做饭有多热？ 大约一千。 How hot was I cooking? About a thousand.
土耳其需要缓慢而低。 Turkey needs slow and low.
除非你愿意 您的中心粉红色。 Unless you like your center pink.
哦，我爱我的中心粉红色。 Oh, I love my centers pink.
你不担心 稀有的肉 会破坏好馅吗？ You're not worried the rare meat will ruin a good stuffing?
只要你不介意 如果我得到沙门氏菌。 As long as you don't mind if I get salmonella.
介意吗？我更喜欢它。 Mind it? I prefer it.
我喜欢一个生病的小男孩。 I like a sick little boy.
你不会停止 猎犬，是吗？ You're not gonna stop hounding me, are you?
没有一秒钟。 Not for a second.
谢谢。 Thank you.
呃...请问一团糟。 Uh... excuse the mess.
我，呃... I, uh...
没有 干净的心... haven't had the heart to clean...
自从我妻子去世以来。 ...since my wife died.
我的慰问。 她是怎么过去的？ My condolences. How did she pass?
伟大的。容易五十码。 Great. Fifty yards easy.
像大炮一样的手臂。 Arm like a cannon.
然后她死了。 And then she died.
所以我们永远不会知道 如果她可以去职业。 So we'll never know if she could've gone pro.
她是最甜蜜的女人 我曾经知道。 She was the sweetest woman I've ever known.
她听起来像个圣人。 She sounds like a saint.
或者也许是野马或49er。 Or maybe a Bronco or a 49er.
我们会很高兴 与任何团队在一起。 We would've been happy with any team, really.
除了布朗以外的任何人。 Anyone but the Browns.
这是您的视野。 That's quite a view you have.
你知道，我被画了 从那以后到山丘 我搬到这里去上大学。 You know, I've been drawn to the hills ever since I moved here for college.
加州大学洛杉矶分校？ UCLA?
我每天都看到它。 我住在这里。 I see it every day. I live here.
恐怕我不 有很多东西可以提供。 I'm afraid I don't have much to offer.
唔。 Hmm.
然而... However...
所有土耳其在外面说话 All that turkey talk outside
让我进入 感恩节的心情。 got me in the Thanksgiving mood.
我想我有一个完整的火鸡 在这里的某个地方。 I think I have a full turkey around here somewhere.
但是我的烤箱很肮脏。 But my oven is filthy.
我不介意。 我喜欢一只肮脏的鸟。 I don't mind. I like a dirty bird.
mm嗯。 Mm-hmm.
你不是在撒谎。 这个烤箱令人恶心！ You weren't lying. This oven is disgusting!
说话肯定很有趣 关于一只肮脏的鸟，但是... It sure was fun to talk about a dirty bird, but...
这将是不卫生的。 it would be unsanitary.
糟糕。 Oops.
好吧，热盐水 是最重要的部分。 Well, hot brine is the most important part.
肯定是。 It sure is.
嗯。这是我的克星。 哦！ Uh-oh. This is my Buster. Oh!
他一定闻到了 这是怎么回事。 He must've smelled what's going on.
愚蠢的狗，那不适合你。 Silly dog, that's not for you.
EW。 Ew.
好的。 Okay.
啊。 Ah.
他是如此坚强。 He's so strong.
放下。 Put that down.
有些呢？ 不错的划痕？ How about some nice scratches instead?
哦。 Oh.
是的。 Yes.
哇。 Wow.
我不喜欢这个。 I don't like this.
哦，你的头发。我可以？ Oh, your hair. May I?
哦。是的。 Oh. Yes.
更好。 That's better.
这疯了吗？ Is this crazy?
已经很长时间了。 It's been a long time.
恐怕我可能有 忘记了如何亲吻。 I'm afraid I may have forgotten how to kiss.
嗯。 嗯。 Mmm. Mmm.
嗯。 Mmm.
哦，哇。 Oh, wow.
多么美丽。 How beautiful.
♪看着你的眼睛 ♪ Lookin' in your eyes
♪我看到了一个天堂 ♪ I see a paradise
♪我发现的这个世界 太好了，无法实现 ♪ This world that I found Is too good to be true
♪站在你旁边 ♪ Standin' here beside you
♪想要给你太多 ♪ Want so much to give you
♪在我心中的这种爱 我对你的感觉 ♪ This love in my heart That I'm feeling for you
♪让他们说我们疯了 ♪ Let 'em say we're crazy
♪我不在乎 ♪ I don't care about that
♪将您的手放在我的手里 宝贝，永远不要回头 ♪ Put your hand in my hand Baby, don't ever look back
♪让我们周围的世界 刚崩溃 ♪ Let the world around us Just fall apart
♪宝贝，我们可以做到 如果我们心心 ♪ Baby, we can make it If we're heart to heart
♪我们可以建造 这个梦在一起 ♪ And we can build This dream together
♪永远坚强 ♪ Standing strong forever
♪现在什么都不会阻止我们 ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now
♪如果这个世界 用完恋人 ♪ And if this world Runs out of lovers
♪我们仍然会有彼此 ♪ We'll still have each other
♪现在什么都不会阻止我们 ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now
♪哇，哇 ♪ Whoa, whoa
♪我很高兴我找到了你 ♪ I'm so glad I found you
♪我不会失去你 ♪ I'm not gonna lose you
♪无论服用什么 我会和你在一起 ♪ Whatever it takes I will stay here with you
♪带它去美好时光 ♪ Take it to the good times
♪通过糟糕的时期看到它 ♪ See it through the bad times
♪无论服用什么 是我要做的 ♪ Whatever it takes Is what I'm gonna do
♪让他们说我们疯了 他们知道什么？ ♪ Let them say we're crazy What do they know?
♪把你的胳膊围绕我 宝贝，永远不要放开 ♪ Put your arms around me Baby, don't ever let go
♪让我们周围的世界 刚崩溃 ♪ Let the world around us Just fall apart
♪宝贝，我们可以做到 如果我们心心 ♪ Baby, we can make it If we're heart to heart
♪我们可以建造 这个梦在一起 ♪ And we can build This dream together
♪永远坚强 ♪ Standing strong forever
♪现在什么都不会阻止我们 ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now
♪没有什么能阻止我们 ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us
♪如果这个世界 用完恋人 ♪ And if this world Runs out of lovers
♪我们仍然会有彼此 ♪ We'll still have each other
♪没有什么能阻止我们 现在♪ ♪ Nothing's gonna stop us Now ♪
放松后 周末与贝丝一起去... After a relaxing weekend away with Beth...
不再！ Not again!
...是时候了 回到案件中。 ...it was time to get back to the case.
所以我打电话给 洛杉矶编年史新闻台 So I called the L.A. Chronicle news desk
跟进 在道格拉斯·奥赖利（Douglas O'Reilly）上， to follow up on Douglas O'Reilly,
但是被告知 他没有上班。 but was informed that he hadn't made it into work.
所以我去了他的公寓。 So I headed to his apartment.
道格拉斯·奥赖利（Douglas O'Reilly）？ Douglas O'Reilly?
弗兰克·德雷宾中尉在这里， 警察小队。 Lieutenant Frank Drebin here, Police Squad.
你好？ Hello?
有人回家吗？ Anyone home?
哦，不。 Oh, no.
嘿，道格拉斯，我介入 某种红色液体！ Hey, Douglas, I stepped in some kind of red liquid!
你有纸巾吗？ You got any paper towels?
我正在拖动它 到处都是你的位置。 I'm dragging it all over your place.
嗯。 Huh.
我接了 你的刀为你！ I picked up your knife for you!
你想要哪里？ Where do you want it?
弗兰克·德雷宾中尉。 Lieutenant Frank Drebin.
我做到了。 I did it.
好的。 Okay.
奥莱利，你呢？ O'Reilly, that you?
O'Reilly？ O'Reilly?
那就是打我的时候。 And that's when it hit me.
像一个白痴的 完成的拼图拼图， Like an idiot's finished jigsaw puzzle,
我被框起来。 I was being framed.
我需要打扫 犯罪现场。 I needed to clean the crime scene.
没有身体，没有犯罪。 No body, no crime.
隐藏身体是 不再选择。 Hiding the body was no longer an option.
冻结！ Freeze!
这不是它的样子！ It's not what it looks like!
他在跑步！ He's running!
汽车，开车。 Car, drive.
谢谢你，车。 Thank you, car.
什么... What the...
汽车，停止它。 Car, stop it.
我说停止！ I said stop!
你好，德雷宾。 介意我拿轮子吗？ Hello, Drebin. Mind if I take the wheel?
甘蔗。这是怎么回事？ Cane. What's going on?
我控制了汽车。 I've taken control of the car.
我有一个小技巧 It's a little trick I have
因为我想要 解决错误。 for when I want to fix mistakes.
这就是达文波特去世的方式。 So that's how Davenport died.
他没有开车 在悬崖上，你做到了。 He didn't drive himself off a cliff, you did.
现在你得到了 在某个地方，侦探。 Now you're getting somewhere, Detective.
但是在他洒之前没有 您对那个记者的秘密。 But not before he spilled your secrets to that reporter.
所以你去了 也杀了他。 So you went and killed him, too.
我没有杀了他，弗兰克。 你做到了。 I didn't kill him, Frank. You did.
你是疯狂的警察 谁刺了记者 You're the crazy cop who stabbed the reporter
然后开车 进入海洋。 and then drove himself into the ocean.
我是地狱。 The hell I am.
没有逃脱，德雷本。 There's no escape, Drebin.
我有点难过 你不会在那里 I'm just a little sad that you won't be there
看看我在商店里有什么 除夕 球下降。 to see what I have in store when the New Year's Eve balls drop.
那好吧。旅行愉快。 Oh, well. Have a nice trip.
哦。 Ohh.
嗨，苏珊。 Hi, Susan.
移动！移动，移动！ Move! Move, move!
蜜蜂？ Bees?
不，不！ No. No. No!
移动！挡住！移动！ Move! Out of the way! Move!
什么？打开门！ What? Open the doors!
你明白了！ You got it!
坦率！你还好吗？ 你在哪里？ Frank! Are you okay? Where are you?
没关系。 我知道西蒙·达文波特 被杀。 Never mind that. I know how Simon Davenport was killed.
是理查德·拐杖。 他把他赶出了悬崖。 It was Richard Cane. He drove him off the cliff.
好吧，有逮捕证 为了您被捕。 Well, there's a warrant out for your arrest.
他们声称这一点 你杀了一个记者。 They're claiming that you killed a reporter.
说不是。 Say it isn't so.
事实并非如此，Ed。 It ain't so, Ed.
还有另一件事，弗兰克。 There's another thing, Frank.
市长狂风 整个混乱 The mayor got wind of this whole mess
他们在拉 我们的资金。 什么？ and they're pulling our funding. What?
警察小队被关闭 立即生效。 Police Squad is shut down effective immediately.
这就是因为我。 我将修复此。 This is all because of me. I'll fix this.
帮我一个忙，弗兰克。 躺下。 你明白了。 Do me a favor, Frank. Lay low. You got it.
谢谢你，埃德。 Thank you, Ed.
对不起，你有吗 我可以使用的电话？ Excuse me, do you have a phone I could use?
谢谢。 Thanks.
我尽快 As soon as I could,
我叫贝丝 打破她的消息。 I called Beth to break her the news.
这并不容易，但是我希望 这会给她带来一些和平。 It wasn't easy, but I hoped it would bring her some peace.
谢谢。 Thanks.
该死，伙计？ What the hell, man?
哦，弗兰克。 Oh, Frank.
谢谢。 Thank you.
天哪，你受伤了。 没什么。 God, you're hurt. It's nothing.
不要愚蠢。进来。 Don't be silly. Come in.
这就是我能找到的。 This is all I could find.
可能会有点刺痛。 Might sting a bit.
大胆试试吧。 Go for it.
没关系。继续前进。 好的。 It's okay. Keep going. Okay.
甘蔗说他有很多东西 明天在商店里 对于除夕。 Cane said he had something big in store tomorrow for New Year's Eve.
我愿意打赌 这是西蒙 试图警告我们。 I'm willing to bet it's whatever Simon was trying to warn us about.
你是什​​么意思， 大吗？ What do you mean, something big?
我不知道。 I don't know.
但是人们可能处于危险之中。 But people could be in danger.
我懂了。 I see.
弗兰克，我有供认。 Frank, I have a confession.
当我哥哥打电话给我 在他去世之前， When my brother called me before he died,
他告诉我一些事情 我没有告诉过你。 he told me some things that I haven't told you.
继续。 Go on.
他告诉我他在工作 在某种 治疗装置。 He told me he was working on some kind of therapeutic device.
让人们平静下来的东西。 Something to calm people down.
但是他现在很担心 有人可以使用它 做相反的事情。 But he was worried now that someone could use it to do the opposite.
让人们平静吗？ 他没有说。 Calm people up? He didn't say.
他只是告诉我 如果有的话 发生在他身上， He just told me that if anything were to happen to him,
我需要做 不管是什么 停止设备。 I needed to do whatever it took to stop the device.
那是 他对我的遗言。 Those were his last words to me.
这就是原因 你插入了自己 进入我的调查。 So that's why you inserted yourself into my investigation.
好吧，起初。 Well, at first.
这就是为什么你出现 在孟加拉俱乐部。 And that's why you showed up at the Bengal Club.
是的。 Yes.
这就是原因 - 您假装爱我。 - 不！ And that's why - you pretended to love me. - No!
坦率... Frank...
不，你怎么说？ No, how could you say that?
我不敢相信 我开放了自己 再次爱。 I can't believe I opened myself up to love again.
我写 那首整首歌。 我租了工作室空间！ I wrote that whole song about it. I rented studio space!
请不要走。 Don't go, please.
弗兰克，请。 Frank, please.
看着我。 Look at me.
那是什么？ What is that?
什么？ What?
那。 That.
那是我的tivo 我昨天借给你 That's my TiVo that I lent you yesterday
这样你就可以观看 Buffy的第一季。 so that you could watch season one of Buffy.
这样你就可以 开始获取 我的参考。 So that you could start getting my references.
我知道，弗兰克。 I know that, Frank.
我特别告诉你 不插入 进入互联网。 And I specifically told you not to plug it into the internet.
哦。 “哦？” Oh. "Oh?"
那是以太网绳 That's an Ethernet cord
从我的tivo出发 直接进入路由器， going from my TiVo directly into your router,
互联网在哪里 来自！ where the internet comes from!
我只是想把它插 进入电力。 I was just trying to plug it into the electricity.
现在 他们可能已过期。 And now they might be expired.
那意味着走了！ That means gone!
没有音乐特别。 No musical special.
没有Xander。没有尖峰。 没有Cordelia Chase。 No Xander. No Spike. No Cordelia Chase.
没有丹尼尔·“奥兹”奥斯本。 No Daniel "Oz" Osbourne.
不 Willow-meets-her-doppelganger 插曲。没有什么！ No Willow-meets-her-doppelganger episode. Nothing!
抱歉，我不知道 他们是如此 - Sorry, I didn't know they were so--
弗兰克，我们在中间 重要的 Frank, we're in the middle of an important--
站在那儿。 Just stand there.
他们走了！ They're gone!
没关系。 只是座机。 It's okay. It's just the landline.
我会明白的。 I'll get it.
你好。 Hello.
它是ed。我有东西。 It's Ed. I've got something.
好的。 Okay.
我就在那里。 I'll be right there.
埃德挖了 银行录像 Ed had dug through the bank footage
并确定一个男人 谁溜出后面， and identified a man who'd slipped out the back,
谁也碰巧是 甘蔗的安全负责人 和右手。 who also happened to be Cane's head of security and right-hand man.
如果有人知道甘蔗的计划， 会是他。 If anyone knew Cane's plan, it would be him.
我们需要让他一个人 并挤压。 We needed to get him alone and put the squeeze on.
但是我们必须这样做 以我们自己的方式 But we had to do it in our own way,
离开书。 我们现在正在路上。 off the books. We're on our way now.
你不是我的普通驱动程序。 You're not my normal driver.
这不是我的普通车。 This isn't my normal car.
那不是我的普通气体。 That's not my normal gas.
这不是正常的方式 我入睡。 This isn't the normal way I fall asleep.
你好，医生？ 他正在醒来。 Hello, doctor? He's waking up.
这是哪一天？ 1月2日。 What day is it? January 2nd.
你去过这里 三天。 You've been here for three days.
三天？ Three days?
什么... What the...
你能把那个打开吗？ Can you turn that up, please?
那不会 必要，护士。 That won't be necessary, nurse.
您好，古斯塔夫森先生。 Hello, Mr. Gustafson.
你！ You!
看到我惊讶吗？ Surprised to see me?
你的小计划， 它没有解决。 Your little plan, it didn't work out.
我们停止了它。 好人赢了。 We stopped it. The good guys won.
甘蔗在监狱里。 Cane's in jail.
这是 坏消息给你。 他在唱歌。 And here's the bad news for you. He's singing.
他告诉我们 你杀了西蒙·达文波特 还有那个记者。 He told us you killed Simon Davenport and that reporter.
你可能会说话 为此获得椅子。 There's talk you might get the chair for this.
- 你在说谎。 - 我吗？ - You're lying. - Am I?
mm嗯。 然后告诉我 到底发生了什么。 Mm-hmm. Then tell me what really happened.
是的，对。 Yeah, right.
硬汉，是吗？ Tough guy, huh?
你知道会发生什么 给大男孩 像你在圣昆汀？ You know what happens to big pretty boys like you in San Quentin?
哦！他们会爱你。 Ooh! They're gonna love you.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
哦，是的。 我看过一百次。 Oh, yeah. I've seen it a hundred times.
像你一样大的可爱派？ 你会很受欢迎。 Massive cutie pie like you? You'll be very popular.
第一天， 可能有你的照片 在线上病毒。 First day in, probably have your mugshot go viral online.
“性感的监狱鸟”。 The "sexy jailbird."
恭喜，你很有名。 Congrats, you're famous.
好的。 Okay.
然后有一天， 您的新粉丝军 发现法律漏洞， Then one day, your new fan army finds a legal loophole,
突然，你是自由的！ 你回到街上了！ and suddenly, you're free! You're back on the streets!
那是...还不错。 That's... That's not bad.
直到现在， 您有一个图像要坚持。 Only now, you've got an image to uphold.
“性感的监狱鸟”。 The "sexy jailbird."
对碳水化合物说再见。 您好，间歇性禁食。 Say goodbye to carbs. Hello, intermittent fasting.
你喜欢拉面吗？ 好吧，都是汤 给你，宝贝！ You like ramen? Well, it's all broth for you, baby!
更何况， 有一个新 性感的监狱鸟现在。 Not to mention, there's a new sexy jailbird now.
他全都 身体积极性。 And he's all about body positivity.
他正在吃汉堡 在监狱Instagram上 He's eating burgers on the prison Instagram
当你 饿死。 不。 while you're starving to death. No.
但是您的品牌很瘦。 您现在无法更改课程！ But your brand is skinny. You can't change course now!
因此，您决定结束它。 So you decide to end it.
砰!子弹头上！ Bang! Bullet in the head!
我不会那样做。 但是你想念。 I wouldn't do that. But you miss.
你只能得到 大脑的一部分 调节放屁。 You only get the part of the brain that regulates farts.
不。 现在你是一个新模因， No. Now you're a new meme,
“放屁的家伙。” 那是你想要的吗？ "farting guy." Is that what you want?
成为“放屁的家伙”？ 不。 To be "farting guy"? No.
快点， - 告诉我，放屁的家伙！ - 不。 Come on, - tell me, farting guy! - No. No.
你喜欢它！ 不！ You love it! No!
告诉我！你喜欢它！ 停止！ Tell me! You love it! Stop it!
一切都是甘蔗的计划！ 这不是我的计划！ It was all Cane's plan! It wasn't my plan!
什么是？ What was?
他想爆炸频率 He wanted to blast a frequency
那会感染 人们的大脑 并将它们变成野蛮人。 that would infect people's brains and turn them into savages.
在哪里 他会那样做吗？ 在WWFC战斗中。 And where was he gonna do that? At the WWFC fight.
市区，午夜。 Downtown, midnight.
他要去哪里 放设备？ Where was he gonna put the device?
在新年的球中。 In the New Year's balls.
球。 The balls.
嘿...你要去哪里？ Hey... where you going?
我想要一个律师，好吗？ I want a lawyer, okay?
对不起，我们构架了你！ 对不起！ I'm sorry that we framed you! I'm sorry!
你得到了这一切吗？ 每个单词。 Did you get all that? Every word.
我们没有太多时间。 只有90分钟 直到新年。 We don't have much time. It's only 90 minutes till New Year's.
什么？怎么了？ What? What is happening?
如何获得 像这样的法律认罪？ How is getting a confession like this legal?
有时为了完成工作， 您必须违反法律。 Sometimes to get the job done, you have to break the law.
我一直都这样做。 I do it all the time.
嗯。 Huh.
我们得到了这一切吗？ 我们明白了。 Did we get all that? We got it.
嗯？ Huh?
内政。 Internal Affairs.
你因被捕而被捕 非法拘留 Sig Gustafson的作品。 You're under arrest for the illegal detainment of Sig Gustafson.
不！ 啊!所以你设置了我。 感人的。 No! Ah! So you set me up. Impressive.
嗯，只是一件事， Uh, just one thing,
你怎么能建造 这些套装如此之快？ how were you able to build these sets so quickly?
我只是告诉 一些城市承包商 I just told some city contractors
我会拉他们的许可证 如果他们没有帮助我们。 that I'd pull their licenses if they didn't help us.
你得到了这一切吗？ 大声而清晰。 Did you get all that? Loud and clear.
Hector Gutierrez， 职业部 安全与健康。 Hector Gutierrez, Department of Occupational Safety and Health.
军官巴恩斯， 你被捕。 Officer Barnes, you are under arrest.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
五分钟 向下。 Five minutes down.
有号角 表示结尾 第一轮。 There is the horn signifying the end of round one.
这个人群 不开心，乔恩。 This crowd is not happy, Jon.
好的， 非常令人兴奋的东西， All right, very exciting stuff,
但是我们现在很兴奋 要加入 在广播摊位 but we are now thrilled to be joined in the broadcast booth
由最恶毒的人之一 裸露的斗殴者 by one of the most vicious bare-knuckle brawlers
从第一季开始 WWFC， from the first season of WWFC,
丹·“流血的寡妇” 戴利。欢迎，丹。 Dan "The Bloody Widowmaker" Daly. Welcome, Dan.
很奇怪。 It's weird.
我，呃... 我把妻子留在家 她穿着化妆。 I, uh... I left my wife at home and she was wearing makeup.
说她没有 任何计划。 Said she didn't have any plans.
你怎么认为 那是关于吗？ What do you think that's about?
我不知道。 我也不。 I don't know. Me, neither.
当然， 这一切都没有 有可能 And of course, none of this would be possible
没有今晚的赞助商， without tonight's sponsor,
Edentech的Richard Cane。 EdenTech's Richard Cane.
实验室里的男孩借了我 这些特殊的耳塞。 The boys in the lab loaned me these special earplugs.
它们阻止数字频率。 They block digital frequency.
因此，如果炸弹确实熄灭， 我们受到保护。 So if that bomb does go off, we're protected.
做得好。 Nice work.
现在，拐杖在哪里？ Now, where's Cane?
甘蔗在天箱中。 Cane is in the skybox.
那备份呢？ 没有备份。 And what about backup? There is no backup.
什么？ 您想要谋杀。 What? You're wanted for murder.
但是古斯塔夫森承认。 But Gustafson confessed.
我们强迫他。 We coerced him.
你从未听说过 米兰达权利？ Haven't you ever heard of the Miranda rights?
什么？我很确定 嘉莉写道。 What? I'm pretty sure it's Carrie that writes.
米兰达是律师。 Miranda is a lawyer.
夏洛特的艺术经销商。 和萨曼莎是个妓女。 Charlotte's an art dealer. And Samantha's a whore.
什么？这是什么？ What? What is it?
我一直在尝试 打电话给贝丝几个小时。 她没有接。 I've been trying to call Beth for hours. She's not picking up.
我只是希望她还好。 I just hope she's okay.
居住... Live...
来自可怕的市区 洛杉矶， from scary downtown Los Angeles,
这是主要事件 晚上！ this is the main event of the evening!
唔。 Hmm.
是的。 Yeah.
先生？ 是的？ Sir? Yes?
哦！请。 Oh! Please.
我可以帮你吗？ Can I help you?
记住账号？ Remember me?
好吧，你好， 切里·罗斯福小姐 脂肪bozo chowing意大利面条。 Well, hello, Miss Cherry Roosevelt Fat Bozo Chowing Spaghetti.
我，呃， I, uh,
爱你的新外观。 谢谢。 love your new look. Thank you.
请。加入我。 Please. Join me.
女士们，先生们！ Ladies and gentlemen!
它是... It's...
时间！ time!
检查，检查。 我正在去球的路上。 Check, check. I'm on my way to the balls.
好吧，弗兰克，通讯工作。 Okay, Frank, comms working.
我在位。 我们有25分钟。 I'm in position. We have 25 minutes.
嘿，一杯啤酒。 Hey, one beer, please.
我们关闭了。 We're closed.
伙计，来吧。 一种啤酒不会杀了你。 Man, come on. One beer's not gonna kill you.
一杯啤酒。 One beer.
迷路。 Get lost.
多少？ How much?
它是免费的。只是得到 地狱从这里出来。 It's free. Just get the hell out of here.
埃德，你听到我的声音吗？ 我能听到你的声音，弗兰克。 Ed, do you hear me? I can hear you, Frank.
嗯。我认为之一 甘蔗的傻瓜就在那里。 进来，埃德。 Uh-oh. I think one of Cane's goons is up there. Come in, Ed.
弗兰克，你能听到我的声音吗？ 检查，检查。 Frank, can you hear me? Check, check.
有人在那里，弗兰克！ 一个人在那里，弗兰克！ Somebody's up there, Frank! A guy is up there, Frank!
哦，上帝！ Oh, God!
- 那是什么？ - 哦。 - What's that, Ed? - Oh.
嗯，没关系。 Uh, never mind.
先生们，我们去过了 根据规则 在后面。 Gentlemen, we've been over the rules in the back.
我希望你打扫卫生， 努力战斗，战斗公平。 I expect you to fight clean, fight hard, fight fair.
好吧，紧张 在这个领域是显而易见的。 All right, the tension in this arena is palpable.
真理的时刻 伙计们。 The moment of truth is here, folks.
直接到语音邮件。 我敢打赌她和加里在一起。 Straight to voicemail. I'll bet she's with Gary.
让我用你的手机。 她不知道你的电话号码。 Let me use your phone. She won't know your number.
你准备好了吗？ 让我们继续吧！ You ready? Let's get it on!
是的！我们走吧！ Yeah! Let's go!
哦！ Oh!
天哪，我喜欢这个。 God, I love this.
快点！ Come on!
wunderbar！ Wunderbar!
最近阅读任何好书， 小姐“意大利面”？ Read any good books lately, Miss "Spaghetti"?
还是我应该说， 达文波特小姐？ Or should I say, Miss Davenport?
我特别喜欢这部分 博学的家庭主妇在哪里 I especially like the part where the erudite housewife
变成自己 可能的刺客 寻求报仇， transforms herself into a would-be assassin seeking revenge,
隐藏... hiding a...
...枪... ...gun...
在她的吊袜带上。 in her garter belt.
还有另一个... And another...
...在她的小背上。 ...in the small of her back.
还有一个... And a...
shot弹枪... shotgun...
...在她美丽的... ...in her beautiful...
黑发假发。 brunette wig.
把她绑起来。 Tie her up.
好吧，埃德...我在球。 Okay, Ed... I'm at the balls.
我要看看 对于设备。 I'm gonna look for the device.
做得好，弗兰克。 Nice work, Frank.
嘿， 你有免费啤酒吗？ Hey, you got free beer?
不，没有免费的 No, there's not free--
哦，男孩。 Oh, boy.
一定是 在这里的某个地方。 It's got to be in here somewhere.
埃德，进来。 Ed, come in.
继续，拿走去。 Go on, take it and go.
嗯，弗兰克， 你能听到我吗？ Uh, Frank, can you hear me?
Coker Lands 胸部残酷的膝盖！ Coker lands a brutal knee to the chest!
我想我看到了，埃德。 I think I see it, Ed.
好吧，看起来好像 我们有 一些技术困难 All right, it looks as though we're having some technical difficulties
带有除夕球。 with the New Year's Eve ball.
我无法达到。 I can't quite reach.
嗯。 Uh.
看看这个！ Look at this!
裤子脱了！ The pants are off!
到底是怎么回事？ What the hell is going on?
好的。 我相信电视网络 All right. I believe the TV networks
模糊了 这里发生了什么。 have blurred what's happening here.
所以对于那些回到家的人 我会尝试画一张图片。 So for those of you back home, I will try to paint a picture.
腿本身 苍白和白色， The legs themselves are pale and white,
撒上 肉桂柔软的头发。 sprinkled with cinnamon soft hair.
现在转向我们的目光 到中间 Now turning our gaze to the middle,
我们在哪里找到东西 非常宏伟。 where we find something quite magnificent.
主要事件， 如果愿意的话。 The main event, if you will.
一个大的Bratwurst， A grand bratwurst,
适合帝国法院 凯撒本人。 fit for the Imperial Court of the Kaiser himself.
也许是一条面包 未烘烤的面包 Or maybe a loaf of unbaked bread
戴着非洲假发。 wearing an afro wig.
我得到了它。 我明白了，埃德。 I got it. I got it, Ed.
好的， 我要出去。 Okay, I'm gonna get out.
德宾。 Drebin.
好的，获得安全性 现在在那里！ All right, get security down there now!
伙计们，没什么可见的！ Nothing to see here, folks!
警察业务。 请继续。 Police business. Please, carry on.
好吧，哥们， 时间去了。 All right, buddy, time to go.
现在听我的好。 Now listen to me good.
我叫弗兰克·德雷宾。 来自警察小队。 My name is Frank Drebin. From Police Squad.
德雷宾！ Drebin!
这个事件现在结束了。 This event is now over.
每个人都腾空 立即将场所。 Everyone vacate the premises immediately.
现在！ Now!
好吧，Playtime结束了。 给我麦克风。 Okay, playtime's over. Give me the mic.
不要接受 又一步，哥们！ 就是这样。 Don't take another step, buddy! That's it.
哦！ Oh!
缓冲区下降！ Buffer goes down!
你喜欢看 一个真正的男人踢屁股？ You like watching a real man kick ass?
哦！ Oh!
[comms]弗兰克， 从那里走出去！ 你有陪伴！ [OVER COMMS] Frank, get the hell out of there! You've got company!
好的。 再见，大家。呃... All right. Goodbye, everyone. Uh...
祝你晚安。 Have a good night.
好吧，你，你， 跟我来。 All right, you, you, come with me.
告诉所有人 他们的频率插头。 Tell everybody to put in their frequency plugs.
还有她。 And her, too.
我们不要她 在这里发疯， 我们吗？ We don't want her going crazy in here, do we?
你看到了什么，弗兰克？ What do you see, Frank?
设备 上面有一些灯。 The device has some lights on it.
各种孔。 大约... Various holes. Weighs about...
两个半辣椒。 two-and-a-half chili dogs.
有 某种计时器 直到午夜同步。 It's got some sort of timer on it synced up to midnight.
你好，侦探。 Hello, Detective.
现在简单。 让我们来吧。 Easy now. Let's have it.
停在那里。 Stop right there.
不要做。 再迈出一举一动 Don't do it. Make one more move,
我会吹牛 计算机大脑 整个楼层！ and I'll blow its freaking computer brains all over this floor!
考虑一下，德雷本。 Think about it, Drebin.
我正在做的一切 适合像我们这样的人。 Everything I'm doing is for guys like us.
- 伙计们喜欢我们吗？ - 是的。 - Guys like us? - Yes.
强大的公义人， 谁实际上该死。 Powerful, righteous men, who actually give a damn.
来吧，弗兰克， Come on, Frank,
你自己说了 “世界 以前更好。” you said it yourself, "The world was better before."
你做了什么？ What have you done?
哇！啊! Whoa! Ah!
啊。 Ahh.
出去！嗯！安静的！ Get out! Shh! Quiet!
“四个轮子移动身体， 两个轮子移动灵魂。” "Four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul."
好的。 这是一个著名的报价 我从... All right. It's a famous quote I got from...
quotes.com。 Quotes.com.
嘿，老板！ 是的。 Hey, boss! Yeah.
你想要我什么 和她在一起吗？ What do you want me to do with her?
把她留在这里。 她早上会死。 Leave her here. She'll be dead by morning.
你们知道 如何骑行，对吗？ You fellas know how to ride, right?
我们开始做吧！是的！ Let's do it! Yeah!
坚持，稍等。 Hold on.
哇！哎呀。 去！去！去。不！ Whoa! Whoopsie. Go, go, go. No!
看看这个！ Look at this!
啊！ Ahh!
留下来！ 我不想伤害你。 Stay back! I don't want to hurt you.
先生们，对掩体！ To the bunker, gentlemen!
♪保持，保持，保持 握住，举起！ ♪ Hold, hold, hold Hold, hold up!
♪检查一下 ♪ Check it out
我是E-R-G的F 我，e ♪ I'm the F to the E-R-G The I, the E
哇！ Whoa!
♪，没有其他女士 像我一样放下它 ♪ And can't no other lady Put it down like me
♪我很疯狂♪ ♪ I'm fergalicious ♪
快点。 快点。快点。 Come on. Come on. Come on.
爸爸？ Daddy?
帮我，爸爸。 我们该怎么办？ Help me, Daddy. What do we do?
快点！怪异的阿尔在等待！ Come on! Weird Al's waiting!
哇！ 就像过去一样。 Whoo-hoo! Just like old times.
快点！ Come on!
让我先让这个家伙。 Let me get this guy first.
得到他！ 好吧，这个家伙在右边。 Got him! Okay, this guy on the right.
EW。 Ew.
来吧，爸爸， 足够玩。 Come on, Daddy, enough playing around.
哦，谢谢。 Oh, thanks.
那是他！稍低一点。 That's him! A little lower.
好吧，在这里。 Okay, here.
你有一个清晰的镜头。 You've got a clear shot.
接受！ Take it!
啊！ Ahh!
哇！真是太多了！ Whoa! That was so much!
你仍然知道，爸爸。 You still got it, Daddy.
谢谢你，爸爸！ Thank you, Daddy!
儿子，我为你感到骄傲。 I'm proud of you, son.
你看 你做了什么，甘蔗？ You see what you've done, Cane?
还为时不晚 阻止这种疯狂！ It's not too late to stop this madness!
这不是疯狂，德雷本。 This isn't madness, Drebin.
这是进步！ This is progress!
进步？ Progress?
少数 永远不要超过 许多人的需求。 The needs of the few should never outweigh the needs of the many.
有一段时间 当你知道。 There was a time when you knew that.
所以这就是这样。 So it's come to this.
高潮 我们的旅程。 The culmination of our journey.
所有这些...这个东西 那是发生的 All this... this stuff that's taken place
你和我之间！ between you and me!
这个，呃... 谢谢，戴夫。 我从这里得到了。 This, uh... Thanks, Dave. I got it from here.
我很抱歉。 我弄乱了线条 一点。 I'm so sorry. I messed up the lines a little bit.
没问题。 你做得很好。 是的。 No problem. You did great. Yeah.
星期天见吗？ 周日见。 See you Sunday? See you Sunday.
好吧，甘蔗！ Okay, Cane!
拜托，不！ 下车！ Please, no! Get off me!
停止！我什至没有 在这部电影中！ Stop! I'm not even in this movie!
有人！ Somebody!
无论如何，看着我们！ 这不是美丽吗？ Anyway, look at us! Isn't this beautiful?
完全按照自然的意图。 Exactly as nature intended.
两只伟大的科迪亚克熊， 彼此面对 Two great Kodiak bears, facing one another
在一场史诗般的战斗中 为了主导。 in an epic battle for dominance.
如果这是一场战斗... 很好。 If it's a fight you want... very well.
哦！哇！ Oh! Ow!
你打我的肚子！ 你打了柔软的部分 我的肚子！ You hit my belly! You hit the soft part of my belly!
我勒个去？ What the hell?
你真的去过吗 以前打架？ Have you ever actually been in a fight before?
嗯，是的！我有。 Uh, yeah! I have.
我的天啊。 我想我要吧。 Oh, my God. I think I'm gonna barf.
那是正常的吗？ Is that normal?
你想继续战斗吗？ Do you want to keep fighting?
什么？不！ What? No!
我的肚子仍然很痛！ My tummy still hurts a lot!
好吧，在这种情况下... Well, in that case...
...我要逮捕你。 ...I'm gonna arrest you.
你不能逮捕我。 你仍然没有抓住我。 You can't arrest me. You still didn't catch me.
无处可去！ There's nowhere to run!
我不会跑步。 I won't be running.
我会飞。 I'll be flying.
理查德·拐杖... Richard Cane...
...你被捕。 ...you're under arrest.
他不会受伤 任何人了。 He won't be hurting anyone anymore.
结束了。 It's over.
不是对我来说，不是。 Not for me, it isn't.
不，请。 No. Please.
考虑一下，贝丝。 Think about this, Beth.
杀死他 不会修复任何东西。 Killing him won't fix anything.
我为什么要让他活着？ Why should I let him live?
它不会带西蒙。 It won't bring Simon back.
您不确定。 You don't know that for sure.
你说得对。 一切皆有可能。 You're right. Anything is possible.
但是你必须让 司法系统完成工作。 But you have to let the justice system do its job.
那很富裕，来自你。 That's rich, coming from you.
事实是，贝丝， The truth is, Beth,
一旦你杀了 一个报仇的人， 没有回去。 once you kill a man for revenge, there's no going back.
它永远与你同在 跟随你喜欢阴影。 It stays with you forever, following you like a shadow.
你脑海中的声音 一遍又一遍地说 A voice in your head saying over and over,
“伙计，太棒了！” "Man, that was awesome!"
因此，将枪放下。 So, put the gun down.
如果不是我， 然后对我们来说。 If not for me, then for us.
为了我们的未来。 For our future together.
我爱你，贝丝。 I love you, Beth.
不要把它全部扔掉 几秒钟 Don't throw it all away for a few seconds of...
最好的感觉 你会有 在你的生活中。 the best feeling you would ever have in your life.
前进。 Go ahead.
做到。 Do it.
♪谁能说 道路去了哪里？ ♪ Who can say Where the road goes?
我爱你。 我爱你。 I love you. I love you.
♪只有时间 ♪ Only time
罗纳德，醒来！ Ronald, wake up!
你得到了促销！ You got the promotion!
哦！ Oh!
带进来。 Bring it in.
♪当你的心选择吗？ 只有时间 ♪ As your heart chose? Only time
不错 对于一个顽固的老傻瓜。 Not bad for a stubborn old fool.
我猜老人 真的是最艰难的 最聪明，最有能力， I guess old men really are the toughest, smartest, most capable,
地球上最性感的生物。 sexiest beings on the planet.
哦，弗兰克， Oh, Frank,
你让我 一个非常快乐的女人。 you've made me a very happy woman.
我也是。 Me, too.
♪只有时间 ♪ Only time
♪谁可以说 为什么你的心哭 ♪ And who can say Why your heart cries
♪当你的爱谎言时？ 只有时间♪ ♪ When your love lies? Only time ♪
因此 弗兰克·德雷宾中尉的 As a result of Lieutenant Frank Drebin's
英勇的工作 在除夕， heroic work on New Year's Eve,
我很高兴宣布 那个警察小队回来了 I am happy to announce that Police Squad is back
以重新承诺 负责和正义。 with a renewed commitment to accountability and justice.
并以这种精神 我们不会忽略 And in that spirit, we will not ignore
德雷宾中尉 可疑的行动 Lieutenant Drebin's questionable actions
在日子里 在活动开始。 on the days leading up to the event.
现在，弗兰克·德雷宾 And right now, Frank Drebin
受到严格的约束 和彻底 内部调查。 is being subject to a rigorous and thorough internal investigation.
谢谢。 Thank you.
♪宝宝想要摇滚♪ ♪ Baby wants to rock ♪
哦！ Oh!
好吧，贝丝，这对我们来说。 Well, Beth, here's to us.
给我们。 To us.
怎么了？ 什么？ What is happening? What?
这很奇怪。 This is strange.
快点。 Come on.
泰勒？ Taylor?
你好吗？ Are you all right?
发生了什么事，弗兰克？ 我很害怕。 What's happening, Frank? I'm scared.
好的亲爱的。 我们将到达底部 这。 Okay, honey. We'll get to the bottom of this.
哦，上帝。 Oh, God.
醒来， 你狗屎！ Wake up, you piece of shit!
将其放在一起。 Keep it together.
等待一秒钟。 这是什么？ Wait a second. What is this?
你听到音乐吗？ 是的。 Do you hear that music? Yeah.
谁是谁 你是人吗？ Who the heck are you people?
你一直在看我们吗 整个时间？ Have you been watching us this whole time?
你在短裤里见过我吗？ You've seen me in shorts?
退后一步，亲爱的。 Step back, honey, please.
哇！ Ow!
哟！警察！ Yo! Cops!
哇！ Whoa!
这是出来的 给一个非常特别的女士。 This goes out to a very special lady.
beth ♪ Beth
♪你是 我一生的爱 ♪ You are The love of my life
♪我想让你我的妻子 ♪ I want to make you my wife
♪甜贝丝 ♪ Sweet Beth
♪你打开我的心 ♪ You opened my heart up
♪再次爱... ♪ To loving again...
你做到了。 You did that.
你知道吗， 我从来没有真正过过 You know what, I've never really been
在专业人士中 录音室之前。 in a professional recording studio before.
这做什么？ What does this do?
哦， Oh,
那...很好。 that... that's nice.
那声音很好，是吗？ That's got a good sound to it, huh?
不，不，不。 我不需要触摸它。 没关系。 No, no, no. I don't need to touch it. That's fine.
beth ♪ Beth
♪哦 ♪ Oh
♪上架曲线 ♪ Top-shelf curves
♪和大脑启动 ♪ And brains to boot
♪和靴子将顶部 我大脑的前十名列表... ♪ And boots that would top my brain's Top Ten list...
♪玻璃靴子... ♪ Aboot boots...
♪和弯曲的大脑 那买了它们 ♪ And the curvy brains That bought them
♪也是乳房 ♪ Also breasts
♪我甜蜜的贝丝 ♪ My sweet Beth
♪当我第一次见到你时 在我的办公室 ♪ When I first saw you In my office
♪我一直在想 关于你的身体 ♪ I kept thinking About your body
♪'因为我还不知道 你的想法 ♪ 'Cause I didn't yet know Your mind
♪我不介意 ♪ I don't mind
♪我甜蜜的贝丝 ♪ My sweet Beth
很有趣 玩那些东西。 It is just fun to play those things.
你介意如果我... 我拿起这吉他？ Do you mind if I... I pick up this guitar?
我一直希望 我知道该怎么做。 I always wished I knew how to do it.
嘿！ Hey!
啊，我们走了。 Ah, here we go.
你知道， 令人惊讶的是。 You know, it's surprisingly easy.
哇！有点 伤害你的指尖。 Ow! It kind of hurts your fingertips.
没有人告诉你 关于那部分。 No one tells you about that part.
♪我甜蜜的贝丝♪ ♪ My sweet Beth ♪
谢谢你，贝丝， 为了敞开心heart ... Thank you, Beth, for opening up my heart...
再次爱。 to love again.
我只是 再得到一个。 I just had to get one more.
每个人， 把手放在一起 Everyone, put your hands together
对于世界的最后一次 活艺人， for the world's last living entertainer,
“怪异的”扬科维奇！ "Weird Al" Yankovic!
大家今晚过得怎么样？ How's everybody doing tonight?
你好？ Hello?
有人在这里吗？ Anybody here?
甘蔗？ Cane?
邪恶的亿万富翁？ Evil billionaires?
螃蟹手的家伙？ Crab-hands guy?
哦，怎么了？ Oh, what the heck?