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原创翻译 双语字幕
快点快点 Let's go. Let's go.
我们要迟到啦 We're gonna be late!
翻译 偷懒侠赛太公 油腻希
有趣知识 我第一次差点死掉 是在9岁 Fun fact-- the first time I almost died was at the age of nine.
而凶器呢 The murder weapon?
校对 脏鱼勃士赛太公
吉米·迪安牌香肠 A Jimmy Dean sausage.
时间轴 风吹来的那片云
妈 谢尔顿对我做鬼脸 Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me.
后期 灰灰是菇凉
谢尔顿 Sheldon!
-我得替迪安先生说一句 -宝贝 - In fairness to Mr. Dean... - Honey!
那天早晨 我决定不执行我的嚼20口规矩 ...this one morning, I decided to forgo my normal 20 chews per bite,
总监 新浪微博@赛太公
嚼20下是美国医学会的建议 as prescribed by the American Medical Association.
乔治 来帮忙 George, help!
儿子过来 没事的 我来帮你打出来 Come here, boy. We got it. We just got to smack it out.
在生活中任何危机发生时 我家人们 To further complicate matters, in any real-life crisis,
会像无头苍蝇般恐慌 把事情越搞越糟 my family's default mode is mindless panic.
谢尔顿要死了 谢尔顿要死了 Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die!
或者是漠不关心 Or heartless apathy.
神啊 Oh, Lord.
来 应该这样 Here we go. This is how you do it.
-来吧 我们摇起来 -宝贝 - Here we go. And we shake. - Honey!
在你的生命渐渐从身体流失时 It's interesting the things you think about
你所想的东西其实挺有意思 when life is ebbing from your body.
比如说 油地毯 这到底是什么啊 For instance, linoleum. What is it, really?
是塑料吗 那跟福米加塑料贴面差别在哪 Plastic? And if so, how is it different from Formica?
我打紧急求助电话 I'm calling 911.
那巧古拉伯爵呢 And what about Count Chocula?
他怎么是伯爵 How is he a count?
他的爵位是有土地的吗 Did the title come with land?
乔治 海姆立克法 George, Heimlich!
别伤到他的小肋骨 Don't hurt his little ribs!
人们说 在人生最后关头 They say, in the final moments,
你的一生会在你眼前飞过 your life passes before your eyes.
但我眼里只看到了我哥舔了果酱刀 All I saw was my brother licking jelly off the knife
然后又伸进去果酱里 and putting it back in the jar.
现在好了 谢尔顿 Okay, it's better now. Sheldon!
亲爱的 你没事吧 Honey. Are you okay?
能呼吸了吗 你说话啊 Can you breathe? Say something!
你得把... 那瓶果酱... 丢掉... You have to... throw away... that jelly.
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪ ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少 年
谢尔顿
我从没上学迟到过 I've never been late to school before.
我整天迟到 这都不是事儿 I'm late all the time. It's no big deal.
我每天都准时送你到学校 你为什么迟到了 I get you to school on time every day. Why are you late?
每天早上都有很多人要跟我请安 I have a lot of people to say hi to in the morning.
妈 Mom,
你能帮我写个解释信吗 would you write a note for me?
没问题 Sure.
你有最酷的迟到理由 You have the coolest excuse.
你差点就死了 你有看到耶稣吗 You almost died. Did you see Jesus?
我看到巧古拉伯爵 I saw Count Chocula.
但你要写有关我的濒死经历我也不介意 But feel free to mention my brush with death in the note.
好了 别再说什么死不死的了 All right, that's enough talk about death and dying.
我就差这么一点点就能有自己的房间了 I came this close to having my own room.
善心捐食物的活动这周五截止 Remember, the food drive ends Friday.
欢迎捐赠任何罐装食品 All canned goods are welcome.
但拜托大家捐的罐头都有内容物标示 But please... make sure your cans have labels.
有需要的人们 生活已经够烦了 Needy people have enough problems
别再给他们添麻烦 得猜自己的晚饭是什么了 without having to guess what's for dinner.
抱歉我迟到了 我有解释信 I'm sorry I'm late. I have a note.
可怜的小家伙 你出了医疗紧急事故吗 You poor thing, you had a medical emergency?
是的老师 我被香肠噎到了 Yes, ma'am. I choked on a sausage.
多大根 How big was it?
这么大根 About yay big.
直到今天 To this day,
我还是没懂他们当时在笑什么 I still don't understand why they were laughing.
你坐在我的专座上了 You're sitting in my spot.
为什么这里是你的专座 Why is it your spot?
很复杂 你坐过去就是了 It's complicated. Just move.
-你在读漫画书 -是啊 - You're reading a comic book. - I am.
你知道漫画是给小孩看的玩意吧 You do understand those are for children.
你读过吗 Have you ever read one?
我三岁时就不屑读图画书了 I outgrew picture books when I was three.
吃你的饭就是了 Just eat your lunch.
怎么了 What's the matter?
我想我没办法吃这个 I-I don't think I can eat this.
你想交换吗 You want to trade?
我妈又给我做了鱼汤 My mom made me fish soup again.
我们家得住在这国家多少年 How long do we have to be in this country
我妈才能让我吃美式大香肠啊 before I get baloney?
还是算了 Mm, no, thank you.
我不饿 I'm not hungry.
这句话你在越南永远不会听到 Three words you never hear in Vietnam.
说件好的 Well, here's something nice.
你们认识洛圣朋先生吗 You know that Mr. Rosenbloom
在牛排馆附近开家具店的那个 with the furniture store over by the steakhouse?
-不认识 -你肯定认识 - I don't think so. - Oh, sure you do.
有遮秃发型的那个希伯来佬 That Hebrew fella with the comb-over?
你是说犹太人吗 You mean Jewish?
他们好像比较喜欢被叫希伯来佬 I think they like to be called Hebrew.
言归正传 Anyway,
他约我去共进晚餐 he's asked me to dinner.
很好啊 你怎么回答的 Well, good for you. What'd you say?
我说让我考虑考虑 I said I'd have to think about it.
有什么好考虑的 What's to think about?
很多啊 Well, a lot.
他要是晚饭吃得开心 I mean, assuming he enjoys dinner,
说不定会想来一勺姥姥当饭后甜点吃 he might want a scoop of Meemaw for dessert.
妈 孩子在 Mom, the kids.
我说了饭后甜点 I said dessert.
你们知道我刚才说的是上床吗 Did you know I was talking about sex?
不知道 No.
你看 See?
你为什么不吃 Why aren't you eating?
我做不到 I don't think I can.
谢尔顿 有时候不同食物会"接触"到一起 Sometimes the different foods touch each other, Sheldon.
这没什么大不了 Not the end of the world.
不是 我是怕我又噎到 No, I'm afraid I'll choke again.
亲爱的 不会的 Oh, honey, that's not gonna happen.
乖 快吃饭 Go ahead, eat your dinner.
这噎到是怎么回事 What's all this about choking?
谢尔顿今早差点噎死 Sheldon almost died this morning.
-什么 -对啊 - What?! - Oh, yeah.
爸把他倒着抱起来 像番茄酱瓶一样抖 Dad was shaking him upside down like a ketchup bottle.
可精彩了 It was great.
你得吃东西才行啊 宝贝 Well, you got to eat something, baby.
好歹吃几口 Just have a few bites.
不行 太冒险了 I can't. It's too risky.
他的炸薯球我要了 Dibs on the tater tots.
行吧 我先帮你包起来 All right, I'll wrap that up for you,
要是你晚点饿了 你可以到时候吃 and if you change your mind, you can have some later.
好歹喝了你的牛奶 At least drink your milk.
好 Sure.
我父母看到了 My mother and father saw
我的幼小心灵收到创伤 对我很有耐心 that I'd been traumatized and were patient
也理解我对固体食物感到恐惧 and understanding about my fear of eating solid foods.
这状态多维持了一天 This lasted one more day.
谢尔顿·李·库珀 你再不吃你的猪排 Sheldon Lee Cooper, if you don't finish that pork chop,
我发誓我就会嚼烂你的猪排 I swear I will chew it up
然后像只母鸟一样吐到你嘴里喂你 and spit it in your mouth like a mama bird.
去啊 妈 快去 Do it, Mom. Do it.
玛丽 我能跟你聊两句吗 Mary, can I speak to you for a second?
不 够了就是够了 这孩子得吃东西 No. Enough is enough. The boy has got to eat.
很快就好 Just give me a minute.
赶紧开吃 先生 Start eating, mister.
你不介意给我的吧 You don't mind, right?
我把猪排去骨 How about I cut that pork chop off the bone
和肉汁一起丢进搅拌机搅碎怎么样 and throw it in the blender with some gravy?
如果能用吸管吸起来 我就喝掉 If it fits through a bendy straw, I'll drink it.
马上就弄好 Coming up.
他凭什么能喝猪排奶昔 Why does he get a pork shake?
这都怨我 This is all my fault.
那天是我催他赶紧把早餐吃完 I rushed him through breakfast the other day,
现在你看 他日渐消瘦 and now look-- he is wasting away.
别这样 你不能怪自己 Oh, come on. You can't blame yourself.
这持续不了多久 还记得有一次蜜蜂飞进屋里 This isn't gonna last. Remember the time a bee got in the house
他有几个月睡觉都盖着张网吗 and he slept under a net for a couple months?
这次不一样 This is different.
-怎么个不一样 - - How? - First of all,
那蜜蜂是你放进来的 you let that bee in.
是你的错 The bee was your fault.
-好吧 -其次 - Okay. - Secondly,
这次关系到他的健康 this is about his health.
他是个脆弱的小男孩 He is a fragile little boy.
他不能这样下去 He can't go on like this.
我不是在跟你吵 I'm not arguing with you.
只是... 我们就再给他点时间吧 Let's just, you know, give him a little more time.
又在搞什么 Now what?
听上去你妈在弄玛格丽特酒 Sounds like your mom's making margaritas.
他在喝什么 What's he drinking?
猪排和肉汁 Pork chop and gravy.
我还偷偷加了点西兰花 I snuck some broccoli in there, too.
别声张 Shh...
五周后
你最近又开始约会了 我很开心 I'm real glad you've been getting out again.
我也是 Me, too.
我们吃了美味的晚餐 散了步 We had a nice dinner, took a walk.
他离过婚的 你知道吗 He's a divorcee, you know.
我不知道 I didn't.
对那种人来说不是大问题 It's not a big deal for those people.
他们就算不是律师 也有当律师的亲戚 If they're not a lawyer, they're related to one.
属于对犹太人的刻板印象 不是律师就是医生会计师
你搅拌前还把面包皮去掉啊 You're actually cutting the crust off before you blend it?
我昨天做金枪鱼三明治时没切 他说喝得出来 I left it on his tuna sandwich yesterday, he said he could tell.
只喝了一半 Only drank half of it.
玛丽 你觉得这次闹得够久了吗 Mary, you think this has gone on long enough?
又不麻烦 No trouble.
不过要是有多一台搅拌机就更好了 But it'd be better if I had two blenders.
你别再惯着他就更好了 Be better if you stopped coddling him.
我不知道还能怎么办 Well, I don't know what else to do.
我提议过带他去看专家 I suggested that we take him to some kind of professional,
但你说他长大就不会这样了 but you said he'd outgrow it.
如果你想找心理医生 Well, if you're looking for a psychiatrist,
我敢说我的新男友有亲戚做这行 I bet my new fella's related to one.
你觉得呢 What do you think?
说不好 Not sure.
如果我们带他去看心理医生 If we take him to a shrink,
感觉我们就承认了他有问题 it feels like we're admitting something's wrong with him.
他有五个礼拜没吃过固体食物了 He hasn't had solid food in five weeks.
如果他真有毛病 Well, if there is something wrong with him,
也肯定不会是便秘 it ain't constipation.
好吧 Okay.
看能不能找个医生 Let's see if we can find somebody.
谢谢你 Thank you.
还得再加点奇多 Needs a few more Cheetos.
我妈成功找到了一位我们负担得起的 My mother managed to locate a family psychiatrist
家庭心理医生 within our price range.
似乎没人介意他在《省钱周刊》上 No one seemed to be bothered that he had
印有优惠券 a coupon in The Pennysaver.
这个人是不是会逼我吃固体食物 Is this man gonna make me eat solid foods?
不会 他只是想和你谈谈 No, he just wants to talk to you about it.
你有没告诉他 我的人生有很多大事要完成 Did you tell him I have a lot to accomplish in my life
决不能被没嚼烂的香肠噎死 and cannot afford to be killed by an unchewed sausage?
说了 但用了别种说法 Not in those exact words.
优惠券你带了吗 Did you bring the coupon?
你好 欢迎 Hi. Welcome.
你们一定是库珀一家 You must be the Cooper family.
是的 We are.
好极了 好极了 Right on, right on.
你一定是谢尔顿了 This must be Sheldon.
握个爪吧 Put 'er there.
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
好极了 好极了 Right on, right on.
我们先这样 爸爸妈妈 Okay, well, here's how I'd like to start. Mom and Dad,
你们先进来和我谈谈 然后 谢尔顿 why don't you come talk to me first, and then, Sheldon,
你和我再单独唠唠 you and I have a little rap session.
两位 Folks?
好极了 好极了 Right on, right on.
我的漫画你可以随便看 Feel free to read any of my comics.
你们可以随便坐在我的豆袋椅上 And you guys feel free to sit on my beanbag!
4毛钱吗 太离谱了 40 cents? Outrageous.
这是命运的安排 As fate would have it,
我选的那本漫画叫《X战警》 the comic I picked up was called X-Men.
拥有超能力的年少变种人 Young mutants with incredible powers
被世人恐惧和误解 who were feared and misunderstood by the entire world.
这故事是在讲我 Hey, it's about me.
有件事你得知道 Now, the thing you have to understand is
谢利是个非常聪明的孩子 Shelly is incredibly bright.
他的智商堪比爱因斯坦 I mean, his IQ is right up there with Albert Einstein
和英国那个坐轮椅的人[霍金] and that English wheelchair fella.
-好的 -他是一个9岁的高中生 - Cool. - He's nine years old and he's in high school,
所以你不能把他当寻常孩子看待 so you can't judge him like other kids.
-明白了 -乔治 - I hear ya. - George,
告诉他 谢利总是滔滔不绝 tell him about how he's always going on and on
说什么亚原子粒子的 about subatomic particles and such.
他能说个没完没了 Oh, he'll get to gabbin' about it.
我们已经习惯了他有各种怪癖和奇思妙想 We're accustomed to his quirks and oddities.
但"害怕固体食物"这件事 But this whole "being afraid of solid foods" thing,
真的让我们懵了 it's got us thrown.
容我先说一句 Okay. Let me just start by saying
你们来对了地方 you came to the right place.
谢尔顿和我碰巧有很多共同之处 Sheldon and I happen to have a lot in common.
我小时候也是个特别的男孩 I, too, was a special little boy.
四年级时 我就能读懂七年级的书 In the fourth grade, I was reading at a seventh grade level.
我都不用告诉你们 七年级时我到什么程度了 And I don't have to tell you where I was by the seventh grade.
十年级 Tenth.
我去坐一下豆袋椅 I'm gonna give the beanbag a whirl.
你们在看什么呢 What are y'all watching?
《小淘气》 Little Rascals.
1920-1940年代的系列短片 聚焦一群社区孩子的冒险生活
你们知道里面大部分的孩子都死了吧 You know most of those kids are dead, right?
什么 What?
阿尔法法 斯代米 巴克威特 Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat.
狗狗皮蒂也死了吗 Even Petey the dog?
特别是狗狗皮蒂 Oh, especially Petey the dog.
谢谢你把这变成致郁片啊 Thanks for making it depressing.
不客气 You're very welcome.
你们想去吃冰淇淋吗 Y'all want to go get some ice cream?
那晚饭怎么办 What about dinner?
管它呢 走吧 What about it? Come on.
阿尔夫也死了吗 Is ALF dead?
还没 不过也快了 No, but it's just a matter of time.
你不会相信有多少孩子有食物恐惧症 You'd be surprised how many children have food phobias.
-是吗 -是的 我像谢尔顿那么大时 - Is that so? - Oh, yeah. When I was Sheldon's age,
-很怕布丁上那层奇怪的皮 -真的吗 - I was afraid of that weird skin on top of puddin'. - Really?
我也是 你知道吗 要是覆上一层莎伦牌保鲜膜 Me, too. You know, you put a little Saran Wrap on...
乔治 George.
谢尔顿 Sheldon?
他跑哪儿去了 Where the hell did he go?
谢尔顿 Sheldon?
应该走不远 Couldn't have gone far.
为什么 Why not?
好极了 好极了 Right on, right on.
洗手间和楼梯间我都找遍了 I checked the bathroom, the stairs.
他不在这栋大楼里 He's not in the building.
我很担心 家里没人接电话 I'm worried. No one's answering at home.
保持冷静 我们会找到他的 Stay calm. We'll find him.
我小的时候... You know, when I was a kid...
闭嘴 Shut up.
好吧 Well...
我不常独自在都市丛林转悠 It wasn't typical for me to wander out into
但我有任务在身 the urban jungle on my own, but I was on a mission.
我第一次尝到了超级英雄连载漫画的滋味 I had gotten my first taste of serialized superheroes,
金刚漫画书店
我需要更多 and I needed more.
打扰了 你有《X战警》第137期吗 Excuse me, do you have X-Men #137?
我想知道接下来的故事 谢了 I'd like to know what happens next, please.
角落后面那个箱子 Back bin in the corner.
你怎么来这儿了 What are you doing here?
你好 丹 Oh, hello, Tam.
你不是说漫画是给小孩子看的吗 I thought you said comic books are for children.
我是一个复杂的年轻人 I'm a complicated young man.
我觉得我们应该报警 I think we should call the police.
不需要出动警察 我们能找到他 We don't need the police. We'll find him.
这都是我的错 This is all my fault.
他跑走都是因为我们带他去看心理医生 He ran away because we took him to a therapist.
那15块美金的诊费我们是要不回来了 That's 15 dollars we ain't getting back.
你担心的居然是这个吗 That's what you're worried about?
不 当然不是 No. Course not.
谢尔顿不会有事的 And Sheldon's fine.
你也知道他的个性 You know what he's like.
要是真有人把他带走了 If someone took him,
肯定也很快受不了 把他送回来 I'm sure they'll bring him right back.
我看得很开心 但我对里面的拟声词有意见 I'm enjoying this, but I'm having trouble with the onomatopoeia.
拟什么 The what?
拟声词 The onomatopoeia.
模拟声音的词 Words that imitate sounds.
"卡咚" "口胡" KaThoom. SNikt.
"砰当" BAmf.
作家不应该自己乱造词 Writers shouldn't make up words.
"拟声词"就是某人乱造出来的词 Somebody made up "onomatopoeia".
你挑战我 我喜欢 You challenge me. I like that.
冰雪皇后
姥姥 你还会再生小孩吗 Meemaw, are you gonna have more babies?
苍天啊 我才不要 Good Lord, no!
她太老了 生不出来了 She's too old to have any more babies.
不用生啊 等你活得够老 Don't have to have 'em. You live long enough,
头发和牙齿就开始脱落 your hair and your teeth start falling out,
你开始尿床 自己就变成宝宝了 you start wetting the bed, you get to be one.
真逗 That's funny.
我们以后要给你穿尿布了 We're gonna have to put a diaper on you.
等你帮我穿的时候就笑不出来了 You won't be laughing when you're doing it.
但我可能会笑 I might be.
姥姥 除了谢尔顿 我和小乔治谁更聪明 Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon, who's smarter, me or Georgie?
-当然是我啦 -为什么 - Me, of course. - Why you?
我的脑袋比较大 My head's bigger.
跟头大头小没关系 It doesn't matter.
今晚的重点不是谢尔顿 Tonight is not about Sheldon.
是啊 平常什么事重点都在谢尔顿身上 Yeah, right. Everything's always about Sheldon.
对啊 大多数时候 Yeah. Most of the time,
我们就好像不存在一样 it's like we don't even exist.
谢尔顿的确是得到了大部分的关注 I guess Sheldon does get most of the attention.
但或许这是好事啊 Maybe that's a good thing.
哪里好了 How?
如果不是有他 Well, if it weren't for him,
你们爸妈就肯定会严格管着你们俩 your parents would be on your ass all the time.
也是 我好像从来没从这角度想过 Yeah. I guess I never thought about it that way before.
拜托 要不是有他 You kidding me? Right now,
你们爸妈现在一定在唠叨让你们打扫房间 they would be nagging you about cleaning your room
催你们去做作业 and doing your homework.
可现在你们能坐在停车场里 Instead, you're sitting in a parking lot,
吃着冰激凌当晚餐 eating a Blizzard for dinner.
-还加了曲奇面团 -对啊 - With cookie dough in it. - Exactly.
而谢尔顿却被困在无聊的心理医生办公室 While Sheldon is stuck sitting in some boring shrink's office.
妈说他们是带他去剪头发 Mom told me they were taking him for a haircut.
对哦 Oh. Yeah.
是啦 Right.
那等他回家了 记得夸他头发剪得不错 Well, when he gets home, say his hair looks good.
怎么了 What?
没事 Nothing.
想来一根吗 You want one?
不用了 No.
那个... Well...
如果你想吃了 你就自己拿 if you change your mind, help yourself.
我不用读太多漫画书 I didn't have to read many comic books
就知道每个英雄都有弱点 to understand that every superhero had a weakness,
红蜡糖
那些弱点需要他们靠着 something they had to overcome
无与伦比的勇气来克服 through an extraordinary act of courage.
对镭射眼来说是失去琴·葛雷 For Cyclops, it was the loss of Jean Grey.
全都是《X-战警》的人物
对小淘气来说 则是与人类触碰 For Rogue, it was human touch.
对我来说 是需要咀嚼的食物 For me, it was food that required chewing.
所以如果我真的也是变种人 就得克服难关 So if I truly was a mutant, I would have to do the same.
在这一天 我不能被打败 On this day, I would not be defeated.
因为这一天是我变成 Because this was the day I became...
咀嚼侠的日子 ...The Chewer.
咔嚼
就这样 我克服了我对被噎到的恐惧 Just like that, I overcame my fear of choking.
唯一剩下的就只有怕狗 All that was left was my fear of dogs,
鸟 昆虫 细菌 birds, insects, germs,
拥抱 纽扣裤裆裤 hugging, button fly pants,
河 池塘 湖 海洋 rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans,
河口 灯芯绒 根茎类蔬菜 estuaries, corduroy, root vegetables,
气球的吱吱声 贴隔热纸的窗 squeaky balloons, tinted windows,
零钱小费盒 烟火 take a penny, leave a penny, fireworks,
大肚炉 积灰 potbelly stoves, dust bunnies,
水蜜桃上的绒毛 that fuzz on peaches. Ugh.
漫画中很多坏人都是科学家 这事很有意思 What I find interesting is how many supervillains are scientists:
章鱼博士 Doctor Octopus,
毁灭博士 雷克斯·路瑟 Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor,
绿魔 这名单还很长 Green Goblin, the list goes on and on.
所以呢 So?
所以如果世人们不尊重我 So if the world doesn't respect me,
我说不定也会黑化 I might change sides.
惨了 Uh-oh.
祝你好运 Good luck.
我试着跟我父母解释 I tried to explain to my parents
一个名叫镭射眼的变种人 that a mutant named Cyclops,
他能从双眼射出镭射光束 who shoots laser beams out of his eyes,
是他帮助我吃了根甘草糖 helped me eat a licorice stick.
但他们完全无法理解 Went right over their heads.