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进取号即将离开C-111星系的贝塔三星 The Enterprise is preparing to leave Beta III in star system C-111.
原创翻译 双语字幕
翻译 不守规则赛太公 墨守成规YY猫
社会学家林德斯特伦将会与 Sociologist Lindstrom is remaining behind
一队专家一起留下来 with a party of experts who will help restore
校对 不守规则赛太公 墨守成规YY猫
帮助该星球恢复到宜居环境 the planet's culture to a human form.
最新的兰德鲁啊 舰长 The late Landru, Captain.
时间轴 风吹来的那片云
工程学上的一项伟大成就 A marvelous feat of engineering.
一台能指导成千上万 A computer capable of directing the lives
后期 灰灰是菇凉
人类生活的电脑系统 of millions of human beings.
但它始终是机器啊 史波克先生 But only a machine, Mr. Spock.
兰德鲁先生倾尽自己所有的知识打造它 The original Landru programmed it with all his knowledge,
但却无法将他的智慧 同情 but he couldn't give it his wisdom, his compassion,
总监 新浪微博@赛太公
理解与灵魂灌注给它 his understanding, his soul.
我更喜欢具体的 可理解 可证明的东西 I prefer the concrete, the graspable, the provable.
史波克先生 你一定能当一台很棒的电脑 You'd make a splendid computer, Mr. Spock.
舰长 谢谢您的夸奖 That is very kind of you, Captain.
这句的笑点 在史波克是半人半瓦肯人混血 That's humorous, because Spock is half human and half Vulcan.
但他对自己人性的那方面感到羞耻 But he's ashamed of his human side.
所以我对他很有认同感 That's why I identify with him.
祝好运 Good luck.
我更偏向寇克一点 I gravitate a little more towards Kirk.
为什么 Why?
因 为... 他所说的每 一 句 话 Be-cause... everything he says...
都说得好像很 重 要 he makes sound so im-portant.
这样没错啊 他可是舰长 I should hope so-- he's the captain.
谢尔顿 Sheldon.
帮我个忙 Do me a favor.
去给你哥补习明天的数学考试 Go help your brother study for his math test tomorrow.
这不算浪费我的宝贵时间吗 Is that really a good use of my time?
乖啦 我都好好求你了 Come on. I'm asking nice.
他要是没及格 他就不能打橄榄球 If he doesn't pass, he won't be able to play football.
你知道他常欺负我吧 You realize he's often mean to me.
那又如何 你妈也常欺负我 我还是总帮她啊 So? Your mother's mean to me. I still try to be helpful.
她有朝你的脸放屁吗 Does she break wind on your head?
因为小乔治就对我这么做过 Because that's what Georgie does to me.
你能帮我劝劝他吗 Can you help me out here?
如果你带我去火车玩具店我就帮你 I'll do it if you take me to the train store.
没问题 You got it.
而且我想要什么你都得买给我 And buy me whatever I want.
康妮 你这是在干嘛 Connie, what are you doing?
只是在给我孙 子 Just providing my grandson
提供金 钱 上 的 建议 with financial guidance.
不许恶搞舰长 Don't mock the captain.
如果小乔治考试及格 你想要什么都买给你 If Georgie passes his test, I'll get you whatever you want--
限20块以内 under 20 bucks.
成交 Deal.
为何 Why?
我疼他多过喜欢你 I guess I like him better than you.
小乔治 Georgie?
干嘛 What?
爸爸叫我来给你补习数学考试 Dad told me to help you study for the math test.
我才不用你帮忙 一边儿去 I don't need your help. Get lost.
小乔治 让他教你 Georgie, let him help you!
好啦 你进来 Fine. Come in!
天啊 Oh, dear.
你有何不满 What's your problem?
没有不满 我就... No problem. I'll just...
一边教一边打扫吧 tidy while we talk.
随你便 Help yourself.
我们开始前 我想先了解一下 Before we start, I'd like to get a sense
你对代数有多少了解 of how much algebra you know.
行 'Kay.
你懂怎么解与绘制线性不等式的图吗 Do you understand solving and graphing linear inequalities?
当然 Sure.
很好 你解释一遍给我听 Great. Explain it to me.
你先解出它们 First you solve 'em...
然后你画出它们 and then you graph 'em.
那你怎么做这些呢 And how do you do that?
你懂的 Uh, you know,
小心地做 carefully.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
这活儿20块接不了 $20 isn't gonna do it.
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪ ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少 年
谢尔顿
先合并所有X的同类项 So you collect all the terms linear in X.
你看 很简单吧 See? Simple.
对你简单而已吧 Maybe for you.
不是 对所有人来说都很简单 No, it's simple for everybody.
然后再合并所有Y的同类项 Now you collect all the terms linear in Y.
我不懂 I don't get it.
试试这个 先闭上眼睛 Try this. Close your eyes.
行 'Kay.
你能看到 Can you see
由X与Y的系数所绘制出来的线吗 the slope of the line given by the coefficients of X and Y?
不能 No.
那你看到什么了 What do you see?
一片黑暗 Darkness.
再努力点 Try harder.
等等 Wait.
我看到澳大利亚名模穿着比基尼 I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini.
比基尼掉下来了 Ooh, it just fell off.
爸爸 Dad!
额度提到40块 继续教 I'll make it $40! Keep going!
或许问题是在于你不是个好老师 Maybe the problem is you're not a good teacher.
不太可能 而且无论如何 我都是你唯一希望 Unlikely. Regardless, I am your only hope.
那你闭上眼睛时会看到什么 What do you see when you close your eyes?
我看到第一象限是红色的 I see quadrant one as red,
第二象限柔软又毛茸茸 quadrant two is soft and plush...
第三象限闻起来有薰衣草味 quadrant three smells like lavender,
第四象限与斐波那契数列重叠在一起 and quadrant four is overlaid with a Fibonacci spiral.
真是太奇怪了 That's really weird.
才没有 真正奇怪的是解简单的代数时 No. What's really weird is doing simple algebra
脑海里却想着比基尼女郎 and thinking about a girl in a bikini.
我不同意 I disagree.
爸爸 Dad!
继续教 Keep going.
当除以负数时 And when you divide by a negative number,
你得把不等式的两端进行变号 you have to reverse the direction of the inequality.
我累了 我要去睡了 I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
但我们还没学完 你会挂科的 But we're not done. You're going to fail.
我听够多你说的话了 我能行 I get enough of what you said. I'll be fine.
就是在那一刻 我决定了 It was at that moment I decided
我并不适合教职 I was not cut out for teaching.
我用我在其他方面 I consoled myself with the knowledge
都无人能出其右来安慰了自己 that I was wonderful at everything else.
拿一份卷子就往后传 Take one and pass it back.
你们应该知道 这考试占学期总成绩25% As you all know, this test'll count for 25% of your final grade.
记得写出所有计算过程 Be sure to show all your work.
如果被哪一题难住了 If you get stuck on a question,
先往下做 最后再回头想 move on and come back to it at the end.
最后这话我应该不用强调了 And I shouldn't have to say this,
但如果有人作弊 我绝对会抓到 but if there's any cheating, I will see it.
老师我脑袋后也有长眼睛 I got eyes in the back of my head.
我的眼睛比土豆上的洞眼还多 I got more eyes than a potato.
英格拉姆女士 Ms. Ingram?
怎么了 谢尔顿 Yeah, Sheldon.
我写完了 I'm done.
什么 What?
我很享受答卷的过程 I enjoyed it very much.
如果你还有别份卷子 我愿意要一份 I'll take another if you have one.
没了 我没有别份卷子 No, I don't have another one.
你先翻开课本往下看吧 J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
太好啦 Oh, boy.
看我哥垂死挣扎我也挺难受的 Seeing my brother struggle was difficult for me.
身为他的家教 他的失败 As his tutor, I took his failure personally,
感觉就像是我的失败 almost as if I had failed.
这挺怪的 因为我明知道他有多笨 Which was odd, because I knew how dumb he was.
小乔治 你今天数学考得如何 Georgie, how'd you do on that math test today?
还挺难的 It was tough.
我也说不准 I don't know.
抱歉我没能帮到你什么忙 I'm sorry I wasn't more help.
我也是 Me, too.
没事的 宝贝 你尽力了 That's all right, baby, you tried.
是啊 没关系的 宝贝 Yeah. It's okay, baby.
我不懂到底是哪里出了问题 I don't understand what went wrong.
你在怀小乔治的时候 Is there any chance you drank alcohol
是不是有喝过酒呢 when you were pregnant with Georgie?
没有 No!
不用这么高高在上 Well, don't be so high-and-mighty.
我在怀你的时候就有喝酒啊 I drank when I was pregnant with you.
你不也挺好的吗 You turned out fine.
这年头大家都在说"别喝酒 别抽烟" These days everybody's like, "Don't drink, don't smoke."
德克萨斯都要变成加利福尼亚了 I swear. Texas is turning into California.
你知道你要是挂科了 我可帮不上你吧 You realize there's nothing I can do if you fail.
你得退橄榄球队 You're off the team.
我知道 I know.
我会求求耶稣基督 Well, I'm gonna ask Jesus
帮助你这场考试得到好成绩 to help you get a good grade on that test.
你应该在他去考试前祈求祂才对吧 Shouldn't you have asked him before he took it?
伟大的祂死后都能复生 The man rose from the dead--
考完试之后再改应该只是小事一桩 I think he can fix a test after the fact.
你知道当我听到你说这种话时 You know, I hear you say things like that,
我都会扪心自问我是不是怀了你的时候 and I wonder if maybe I did have a few too many whiskey sours
喝了太多柠檬威士忌酒 when you were in my belly.
没到我的分数 不过还不错 Not me, but not bad.
我想说"A"级努力 I would say "A" for effort,
但"F"级分数 but... that's an "F."
怎么了 有多烂 What? How bad is it?
你得到了"B" You got a "B."
不是吧 Are you kidding?
我真不敢相信 I don't believe it.
我也是 Me, neither.
我也是啊 Me, neither.
我觉得我得重新评估我的能力 So, I guess I have to rethink my abilities.
我很显然是个千古名师 Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
小乔治不是因为你的教导而及格 Georgie didn't pass because of you.
你这话什么意思 What do you mean?
他作弊了 He cheated.
他把答案写在他鞋底了 He had the answers written on the bottom of his shoe.
他不会这样的 He wouldn't do that.
在学校考试骗人作弊 其实骗的只是自己 When you cheat in school, you only cheat yourself.
你从哪学到的话 Where'd you get that?
男厕外面的正能量海报上 An inspirational poster outside the boys' room.
谢尔顿 我绝对没看错 I saw what I saw, Sheldon.
如果这是真的 Well, if this is true,
他得去向老师坦白 he needs to turn himself in.
他不可能去 他会被踢出球队 That'll never happen. He'll get kicked off the team.
抱歉 恕我无法相信 I'm sorry, I can't accept this.
我相信此事一定还有别的解释 There must be another explanation.
如果你不相信我 你就去看他的鞋底 If you don't believe me, look at his shoes.
我会去的 I will.
这运动量挺大啊 This is quite a workout.
你个小人 You dirty bird.
你在我房间里干嘛 What are you doing in here?
你作弊了 You cheated.
我才没有 No, I didn't.
我手里就拿着证据 I'm holding the evidence.
让我看看 Let me see that.
我什么都没看到啊 I don't see nothin'.
你这是妨碍司法公正 That's obstruction of justice,
兼肮脏又没卫生 as well as disgusting.
别搞事 我考试及格 就能继续打球 Oh, relax. By passing that test, I get to play football,
你也能去火车玩具店买东西 and you get to go to the train store.
大家都有好处 Everybody wins.
那真相呢 But what about the truth?
怎么样 What about it?
真相[理]必叫我们得以自由 It's supposed to set us free.
这话你哪学的 Who told you that?
《圣经》啊 The Bible.
你什么时候信过《圣经》里写的话了 Since when do you care about what's in the Bible?
当那些话能让我驳倒别人的时候 When it helps me win an argument.
《圣经》也说"当孝敬父母" The Bible also says honor thy father and thy mother.
如果你去跟他们说 你就会让他们伤心 And if you open your mouth, you're gonna make them sad.
他辩倒了我 He had me.
这二傻子莫名其妙地辩倒了我 Somehow, the mullet-headed simpleton had me.
这事没完 This isn't over.
是吗 你想怎么样 Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?
好吧 好像完了 All right, maybe it's over.
姥姥 Meemaw?
我猜你已经看过公共卫生部部长关于 I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report
吸烟有害健康的报告了 on the dangers of smoking?
我等着他们把报告拍成电影呢 I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.
那是你的新火车吗 Is that your new train?
是的 这是我帮小乔治通过数学考试的酬谢 Yes. It's my reward for helping Georgie pass the math test.
你看上去不是很开心啊 You don't seem too happy about it.
我觉得我不配拥有它 I don't feel like I earned it.
为什么 Why not?
你能帮我保守秘密吗 Can you keep a secret?
我这么大年纪了 能记住秘密就不错了 Well, at my age, the question is can I remember one.
说来听听 Try me.
小乔治考试作弊了 Georgie cheated on the test.
而且平安无事 And nothing bad happened.
他可以继续留在橄榄球队 He gets to stay on the football team,
爸妈以他为傲 Mom and Dad are proud of him;
我甚至因为帮他得到一辆小火车 I even got a train for helping.
所以你有负罪感 So you're feeling guilty.
正是这样 Very much so.
可真是个疑难杂症啊 Well, that's a real conundrum.
你是不是有在看我生日送给你的 Have you been reading the Word of the Day calendar
每日一词日历 I gave you for your birthday?
无可置疑 Indubitably.
你对此事作何感想 So what do you think?
我认为你不应该对此深受困扰 I don't think you should let it bother you very much.
我是说 这世上肯定有些人 I mean, there's always gonna be people in this world
会不守规则 who are playing fast and loose with the rules.
而你的哥哥就是这种人 And your brother's one of them.
《星际迷航》的寇克舰长也是 That's how Captain Kirk is on Star Trek.
没错 所以他是这部戏的主角 Well, there you go, and he's, like, the main guy on that show.
不 史波克先生才是主角 No, Mr. Spock is the main guy.
你说得对 I stand corrected.
不过通常拯救进取号的人都是寇克 Although Kirk is usually the one who saves the Enterprise.
因为他不会总是死守规矩吗 Because he doesn't always follow the rules?
他甚至在学员时期的一次测试中作弊 He even cheated on a test when he was a cadet.
小林丸号测试 The Kobayashi Maru.
小什么 The what?
小林丸 Kobayashi Maru.
寇克因此成为传奇 Kirk is a legend because of it.
小林丸 Ko-Kobayashi Maru.
听起来像是日式铁板烧餐厅里的食物名 Sounds like something you eat at Benihana's.
你有去过那种餐厅吗 Have you ever been to one of those?
店家会让你跟陌生人坐在一起 They make you sit with strangers.
真扯 It's crazy.
你觉得史波克会变成寇克这样的人吗 Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk?
以我的经验之谈 Well, in my experience,
大多数人活一辈子都是一个 most people stay the miserable bastards they are
可怜的混蛋 their whole entire life.
但... But...
我也见过有人会改变 I have seen some folks change.
好吧 我要去玩这辆火车了 All right. Well, I'm gonna go play with this train.
去吧 You do that.
小乔治 Georgie?
走开 Go away.
我想请你帮个忙 I need to ask a favor.
什么忙 What?
秘密 我能进来吗 It's private. Can I come in?
进来吧 Come on.
你要干嘛 What do you want?
我发现你和寇克舰长有共同之处 It occurs to me you have something in common with Captain Kirk.
我俩的发型都很帅吗 We both have cool hair?
为了成功 In order to succeed,
你俩都不介意不守规则 you both play fast and loose with the rules.
对 我想是的 Yeah, I suppose we do.
你数学考试作弊的时候 你的策略是什么 When you cheated on the math test, what was your strategy?
我猜最重要的部分是 Well, I guess the most important part
考试之前不要踩到湿乎乎的东西 was not stepping on anything wet before the test.
还有千万不要拿"A" And not getting an "A."
你为什么不想拿"A" Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
因为那会引起怀疑 'Cause that would raise suspicions.
谁会相信我能拿"A" Who would believe I got an "A"?
再跟我说说 Tell me more.
好的 撒谎的时候 Okay, when you're telling a lie,
加入一些细节是关键 it's important to throw in some details.
比如我想去里奇家过夜 Like, when I was wanted to spend the night at Ricky's house,
妈妈问我他爸妈是否在家 and Mom asked me if his mom and dad were gonna be home,
我说他们不但在家 I said, not only are they be gonna be home,
他爸爸还会教我们 his dad was gonna teach us
怎么做烟熏火鸡腿 how to cook turkey legs in the smoker.
我喜欢火鸡腿 好吃吗 I like turkey legs. Were they good?
根本没有什么火鸡腿 你个白痴 There weren't any turkey legs, you dope.
他父母在外地呢 His parents were in Branson.
真厉害 我刚才完全相信你的话 That's incredible. I totally believed you.
细节啊细节 Details.
现在快出去 我得看完这本书 Now get out of here, I got to finish reading this.
谢谢 小乔治 你真帮了我大忙 Thank you, Georgie, that was very helpful.
你听见了吗 Did you hear that?
什么 What?
听起来小乔治和谢尔顿处得挺好 Sounds like Georgie and Sheldon are getting along.
是吗 Really?
不可能啊 That can't be right.
我刚听见的 I just heard it.
或许他们俩还有希望能处得来 Maybe there's hope for those two after all.
或者这是末日的征兆 Or it's a sign of the apocalypse.
亲爱的 别打扰我看电视 Honey, I'm-I'm watching this.
今天的体育课 So you'll have to find someone else
你得找别人帮你按脚踝了 to hold your ankles in P.E. Today.
抱歉 你说什么 I'm sorry, what?
我受了重伤 没办法上课了 I've suffered a terrible injury and won't be able to attend.
发生什么事了 What happened?
你自己看 See for yourself.
"威尔金斯教练 请批准我的儿子谢尔顿 "Dear Coach Wilkins, please excuse my son, Sheldon,
不上体育课 From P.E.
他得了睾丸疝气 He has experienced a testicular hernia,
接下来的六到八周都需要好好休息 And needs to rest for the next six to eight weeks.
真诚的玛丽·库珀" Sincerely, Mary Cooper."
睾丸疝气吗 Testicular hernia?
这就叫细节 That's called details.
真是可怜 Ooh, that's rough.
怎么弄的 Hmm. How'd it happen?
不好说 It's hard to say,
但风险因素包括: 提重物 慢性咳嗽 but some risk factors include: heavy lifting, a chronic cough
排便时的重复性劳损 and repetitive straining during bowel movements.
我也有个这经历 I've been there.
好吧 Hmm. All right.
那就...六到八周后见吧 Guess I'll see you in... six to eight weeks.
我不知道其他超级大反派 I don't know if other supervillains
是否是从翘体育课开始他们的职业生涯 started their careers by getting out of P.E.,
但我是 but that's where I began.
有我捏造的疝气来壮胆 Emboldened by my faux hernia,
我开始把图书馆的书拿出来 I started taking books out of the library...
而不去盖借阅的章 without getting the cards stamped.
那些书你还没登记呢 You didn't check out those books.
我知道 I know.
在你严厉地批判我前 Before you judge me too harshly,
我想说 我每次都按时还回去 I always brought them back on time.
我是破坏规矩的人 不是疯子 I was a rule-breaker, not a lunatic.
但或许我最满意的违规 But perhaps my most satisfying transgression
是欺骗我姐姐 was duping my sister
放弃电视的控制权 into relinquishing control of the TV.
你好 Hello.
那玩意是干啥的 What's that for?
这个吗 我刚在姥姥后院挖钱呢 Oh, this? I was just digging for money in Meemaw's backyard.
那里有钱吗 There's money there?
有啊 我已经发现七毛五了 Oh, yes. I already found 75 cents.
你觉得是谁的钱 Who do you think left it?
如果让我猜 If I were to guess,
我觉得是口袋破洞的海盗 I'd say pirates with holes in their pockets.
铲子能借我用用吗 Can I use your shovel?
请便 Be my guest.
宝贝 我要发大财了 Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.
今天我们来学习牛顿爵士 Today, we're going to learn about Sir Isaac Newton.
你好 老朋友 Hello, old friend.
世界上最伟大的科学家之一 ...one of the world's greatest scientists...
明天见 韦恩 See you tomorrow, Wayne.
祝你愉快 乔治 You have a good one, George.
你儿子怎么样了 Hey, how's your son doing?
小乔治吗 Georgie?
不 聪明那个 No, the smart one.
他挺好的 怎么了 He's fine. Why?
他的疝气呢 What about the hernia?
什么疝气 What hernia?
你妻子说他得了啊 The one your wife said he had.
我在军队时也得过 Happened to me while I was in the Army.
是在乔治亚州的一间酒吧 试图抱起个胖妹 I was in a bar in Georgia, tried to lift up this big gal.
我绝对听到我下面有啥爆炸声 Swear I could hear something pop down there.
这张条是谢尔顿给你的吗 Sheldon gave you this note?
是的 Yeah.
这不是我写的 I didn't write this.
你确定吗 You sure?
看起来像你的笔迹 Looks like your handwriting.
字体看起来有点飘 It's got that little swoopy thing going on.
不是我写的 I didn't write it.
如果我儿子得疝气 我肯定知道 And I think I'd know if my son had a hernia.
那就是谢尔顿为了不上体育课 伪造了请假条 So what, Sheldon forged a letter to get out of P.E.?
貌似是的 Looks like it.
真行啊 How about that.
别为他感到骄傲 Don't be proud of him.
我情不自禁 Can't help it.
第一次他这么像我的亲儿子 First time he ever seemed like my kid.
你知道他为什么突然转了性吗 Do you have any idea what's gotten into him?
可能知道 I might.
为什么 Well?
你们有听过 Have you ever heard of...
大鱼蛋 Mobokachi Kaboom?
不对 Wait.
是小钢蛋 Koshimaki Magoo.
等等 我一定能想出来 Wait a minute, I'm gonna get this.
"亲爱的质子教授 "Dear Professor Proton,
我非常想跟您见面 I would very much like to meet you,
我的生命就剩三周了 And I only have three weeks to live.
请来德克萨斯州的梅德福市看我 Please come visit me here in Medford, Texas.
真诚的谢尔顿·库珀 Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
附注 我姥姥做的饼干超级好吃" P.S. My Meemaw makes excellent brisket."
谢尔顿 Sheldon.
你能解释一下这张请假条吗 Would you like to explain this note?
说呀 Well?
我只是想更像小乔治一点 I was trying to be more like Georgie.
这真是个蠢主意 That's a dumb idea.
我们都不希望小乔治像他自己 We don't want Georgie to be like Georgie.
听我说 我真的感到非常抱歉 Well, let me start by saying how very sorry I am.
尽管我解释说 Despite my explanation
我是为了接纳我内在的寇克人格 that I was embracing my inner Kirk,
我妈还是让我去弥补我曾犯下的错 my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds.
先从图书馆开始 Starting in the library,
我得重新摆放上百本书 where I had to reshelve hundreds of books.
老实说 这个简直爽呆了 Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.
当威尔金斯教练让我攀绳时 赎罪就不好受了 The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope.
由于缺乏上肢力量 Lacking any upper body strength,
我像一根熟食店里吊着的香肠一样 I hung there like a salami in a deli window.
最后 我还得跟我姥姥道歉 And finally, I had to apologize to my meemaw,
无辜成为我姐姐寻宝大计的受害人 who was an unfortunate victim of my sister's treasure hunt.