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权力自古以来都是最致命的毒品 Power has always been a deadly narcotic,
而在1989年 and in 1989,
翻译 三顶洞人黄帝赛 结绳记仇仓颉猫
坦迪1000SL系列电脑 RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL
是我所选之毒 was my drug of choice.
英特尔8086处理器 With an Intel 8086
运行速度8兆赫兹 running at eight megahertz
校对 三顶洞人黄帝赛 结绳记仇仓颉猫
加上一个5.25吋软盘驱动器 and a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy drive,
我简直无所不能 there was nothing I couldn't do.
后期 灰灰是菇凉 时间轴 风吹来的那片云
从给我的作业增加碉堡的图形 From adding snazzy graphics to my homework...
碉堡了 So snazzy.
总监 新浪微博@赛太公
到轻松地按字母顺序排列 ...to easily alphabetizing
我敌人的名字及其罪行 my list of enemies and their crimes.
太轻松了 So easy.
谢尔顿 该走了 Sheldon, time to go.
我们真应该买一台电脑 We really need to get one of these.
我们要一台电脑干什么 What on earth do we need a computer for?
对啊 我们有你和你的大脑袋 Yeah, we got you and your big head.
但有了电脑 我们可以完成很多事情 But we can get so much accomplished.
我可以用电子制表程序 I could use a spreadsheet program
记录你的日常开支 to keep track of your expenses.
我用我的支票本背面记了 I do that in the back of my checkbook.
但你打开你的支票本时 它会哔地一声响吗 Yes, but does your checkbook go "Beep" when you open it?
不会吧 I don't think so.
再说了 电脑可以整理你的菜谱 Plus, the computer can organize your recipes.
可我的菜谱都整理好了 But my recipes are organized.
用的是索引卡片 On index cards.
就像远古山顶洞人 Like a cave person.
山洞妈妈 我以后要这么叫你 Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that.
这些都不重要 谢尔顿 It doesn't matter, Sheldon.
我们买不起电脑 We can't afford a computer.
买得起 现在只要998美刀 Sure we can. It's only $998,
戴夫说我们可以每个月分期付款购买 and Dave says we can buy it on easy monthly payments.
没错 That's true.
别多事 戴夫 Stay out of this, Dave.
走吧 Come on.
我们得回家了 We got to get home.
可是... But...
谢尔顿 不行就是不行 Sheldon, I said no.
展品电脑我可以给你个优惠价 库珀夫人 I can make you a good deal on the floor model, mrs. Cooper.
说真的 戴夫 你要惹毛我了 Seriously, Dave, you're getting on my nerves.
这不公平 It's not fair.
你给米西买了戒指糖 You bought Missy a Ring Pop.
那才十美分 For ten cents.
-每一分钱都没白花 -走吧 - And I'm worth every penny. - Let's go.
抱歉 戴夫 Sorry, Dave.
我们家生活拮据没闲钱 We're living paycheck to paycheck.
快走 Move!
少 年
谢尔顿
-睿侠电器行 -睿侠电器行 - Ah, RadioShack. - Ah, RadioShack.
就是它 坦迪1000SL电脑系统 Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL computer system.
今天谢尔顿不停地在念叨这玩意 Sheldon was going on and on about that thing today.
我从来没见过这么易于使用的电脑 I've never seen one so easy to use.
你们好 需要指引你们回母星的路吗 Greetings. Need directions back to your planet?
这科技比我们想象中更先进 This technology is more advanced than we thought.
你们知道《E.T. 外星人》这部电影吗 You know that movie E.T.?
发现外星人的小孩叫艾略特 The kid who finds him, his name is Elliott,
名字首字母是E 尾字母是T which starts with an "E" And ends with a "T."
巧合吗 Coincidence?
我可不这么认为 I don't think so.
你这辈子都要跟我们住在一起了 是吗 You're gonna live with us forever, aren't you?
谢尔顿想要台电脑啊 So, Sheldon wants a computer?
自打他会说话就吵着要 Ever since he could talk.
看到这个更变本加厉了 But now more than ever.
他可以放了学后干点零工 Well, he should get a job after school.
自己攒钱买一台 Save up and buy one.
干零工 他才九岁 Get a job? He's nine.
像他这么大的时候 我都去帮人修剪草坪了 I mowed lawns when I was his age.
还挣了不少钱呢 Made pretty good money.
你想让谢尔顿去修剪草坪吗 You want Sheldon to mow lawns?
他这么弱不禁风 在太阳底下五分钟 He's so pale, five minutes in the sun,
就会被烧成灰 he'd burst into flames.
我愿意付钱看这一幕 I would pay to see that.
闭嘴 小乔治 Shut up, Georgie.
希望你跟他说过我们买不起 I hope you told him we can't afford it.
当然说了 Of course.
我可以先给他买一台 I could buy it for him,
然后你们可以等有钱了再还给我 and then y'all could pay me back when you can.
好吧 康妮 你这话就等于在羞辱我 Okay, Connie, now you're just insulting me.
那并不是我的本意 Well, that was not my intention,
但我很乐意你这么想 but I'm glad to hear it.
我有能力支付自家的开支 I can pay my own bills
也有能力照顾好我的家人 and take care of my family.
我们的确可以削减某些开支 There are expenses we could cut back on
这样我们就能买得起电脑了 so we could afford a computer.
你是说你给教堂的那些钱吗 You mean like the money you give to church?
不 我是说那些你给 No, I mean like the money you give
孤星啤酒公司的钱 to the Lone Star Beer company.
说得好 妈妈 Good one, Mom.
-闭嘴 -闭嘴 小南瓜 - Shut up. - Shut up, pumpkin.
我们不买电脑 We're not getting a computer.
我们也不需要你的钱 We don't need your money.
你去哪里 Where are you going?
去倒... 一杯牛奶 To get a... glass of milk.
他撒谎 他要去倒啤酒 He's lying. He's getting a beer.
闭嘴 小乔治 Shut up, Georgie.
妈妈 Mom?
你怎么还不睡 Why are you still up?
居里夫人在房顶 Madame Curie is on the roof,
而且她没有戴帽子 and she's not wearing her hat.
你在做梦呢 宝贝 You're just dreaming, baby.
可她没帽子会着凉的 But she'll be cold without her hat.
我把我的给她 你快睡吧 I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep.
谢谢 妈妈 Mm, thanks, Mom.
你最好了 You're the best.
老天啊 Oh, Lord.
我猜我们的每周一"日"要取消了 I'm guessing we're not having our once-a-week.
抱歉 我只跟我喜欢的绅士发生关系 Sorry, I only have relations with gentlemen I like.
拜托 你明知道我不喜欢 Oh, come on. You know how I feel
你妈干涉我们家的财务 about your mother meddlin' in our finances.
她不是来干预 她只是想帮忙 She wasn't meddlin', she was offering to help.
而且电脑不是什么白痴玩具 And that computer is not some silly toy.
谢尔顿可以用来做作业 Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork,
而我可以用来...整理我的菜谱 and I could use it to... organize my recipes.
你早就用那些小卡片整理好了 You already got 'em organized on those little cards.
是啊 像个山顶洞人 Yeah, like a cave person.
这都不重要 Well, it doesn't matter.
重点是我们买不起 话题结束 We can't afford it, end of story.
或许还没完全结束 Not exactly end of story.
这话什么意思 What's that mean?
过去几年我一直在存钱 I've been setting money aside the last couple of years,
或许养兵千日就是用在此时了 and this might be a good use for it.
你哪里来的钱啊 Money from what?
就是这里存点 那里存点来的啊 You know, here and there.
帮教堂记账 Bookkeeping for the church,
接一些针线活 some seamstress work,
塞尔达阿姨给的生日红包 birthday money from my Aunt Zelda.
你"这里那里"攒下来的钱 And just how much of this "Here and there" money
有多少啊 you got saved up?
鉴于这是我的钱 Well, seeing as it's my money,
有多少你管不着 I don't think that's any of your business.
我管不着吗 None of my business?
我挣的每一分你都要管 你却有私房钱 You see every nickel I make, and you got secret money?
这不是私密 我刚告诉你了 It's not secret. I just told you.
你把钱藏哪儿了 Where you hiding it?
现在你可问到了私密问题 Well, now you're headed into secret territory.
好吧 Oh, okay.
我确定一下 我的钱是我们的钱 Just so I'm clear, my money's our money,
但你的钱是你自己的钱 but your money's your money.
没错 That's right.
很高兴知道这一点 Oh, good to know.
还好我们每周一"日"活动取消 I'm glad we're not having our once-a-week
因为老子现在完全没心情 'cause I am not in the mood.
真的吗 Really?
那真是太可惜了 That's too bad.
为什么 你有吗 Why? Are you?
有你个大头鬼 No!
需要这么耍我吗 That was uncalled for.
忘记告诉你了 有个女孩打来找你 I forgot to tell you, a girl called for you.
什么女孩 What girl?
我不知道 就一个女孩 I don't know. A girl.
她说什么了 Well, what'd she say?
想不太起来 都好几个月前了 It's hard to remember. This was months ago.
两箱啤酒 Two cases?
你在和我开玩笑吧 You've got to be kidding me.
别担心 我没有用你的钱 Don't worry, I didn't use your money.
我用了我的钱 I used mine.
快吃完你们的晚饭 Finish your dinner
吃完收拾行李 and then pack a bag.
我们要去姥姥家 We are going to Meemaw's.
为什么 Why?
因为你们爸妈需要分开一段时间 Because your mom and dad need a break from each other.
分开多久 For how long?
我不知道 赶紧收拾 I don't know. Just pack.
我需要带耳罩吗 Will I need earmuffs?
想带就带上吧 Sure, if you want.
不过我的年鉴预测温度适宜 Although my almanac does predict mild temperatures.
那就别带了 Then don't bring it.
我就带上我的年鉴吧 I'll just bring my almanac.
算了 我两样都带上吧 You know what, I'll bring both.
我该带上我的牙刷吗 Should I pack my toothbrush
还是直接用放在姥姥家那支 or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?
这题我来回答 I got this one.
谁管你啊 Nobody cares.
我不想去姥姥家 I don't want to go to Meemaw's house.
万一那女孩又打来怎么办 What if that girl calls back?
行 那你就跟你爸待在这里 Fine, then stay here with your father.
谢尔顿 米希 我们半小时后就走 Sheldon and Missy, we are out of here in half an hour.
没多少时间让我考虑带不带牙刷啊 Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush.
进来吧 Come on in.
妈妈跟爸爸需要分开一段时间 Mom and Dad need a break.
我们不知道要多久 We don't know how long.
他都带了什么 What's he got in there?
什么都带了 Everything.
我永远都不要结婚 I ain't never getting married.
-是吗 -对啊 - That so? - Yeah.
女人都是麻烦精 Women are nothing but trouble.
我去接 I'll get it!
你好 我是小乔治 Hello, Georgie speaking.
你跑来接电话了吗 感觉自己像白痴吗 Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?
谁啊 Who was it?
没谁 Nobody.
我跟你妈之间的小矛盾很快就会过去 This little tiff between your mom and me will blow over.
别小题大做 Don't make a big deal of it.
我没有啊 我只是说 I'm not. I'm just saying
我更适合当一匹单身独狼 I'm better suited to the single life.
何以见得 And how do you picture that?
你知道外面那些自助餐餐厅吧 Okay, well, you know the buffet at Golden Corral,
有各式各样的食物随你挑选 where there's all kinds of choices
而且你想吃多少份多少种都随你 and you can have as much as you want?
知道啊 Yeah.
单身就跟那个一样 不过是随便选辣妹 It'll be like that, only with hot girls.
小乔治 我跟你打赌1000块 Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars
你会在25岁之前就结婚 you're married before you're 25.
跟你赌了 You got a bet.
感觉就像直接偷你的钱啊 I feel like i'm stealing your money.
小乔治在19岁时娶了他第一任老婆 Georgie married his first wife at 19.
他一直没把赌输的钱给我爸 He never paid my father.
我想告诉你们我很开心 Well, I got to tell you how happy I am
有你们来我家过夜 that y'all are spending the night with me.
你家闻起来一股烟味 Your house smells like cigarettes.
太开心了 So happy.
谢尔顿 我们谈过这个事情了 Sheldon, we've talked about this.
你别去跟人家说哪里有什么味道 You don't need to announce to people how things smell.
好啦 你们两个都躺好 All right, you two, settle in.
你跟爸爸会离婚吗 Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce?
当然不会啦 Of course not.
你确定吗 打包行李带着你的孩子 Are you sure? Packing up your kids
大半夜搬去你妈妈家 in the middle of the night and moving in with your mom
这都是离婚的信号 has all the earmarks of a divorce.
我们不会离婚 We're not getting a divorce.
乖乖睡觉吧 Okay, go to sleep.
祝好梦 Sweet dreams.
真不敢相信爸妈为了啤酒吵架 I can't believe Mom and Dad had a fight over beer.
我觉得不是因为啤酒 I don't think the fight was about beer.
应该还有潜在理由 I think there was more subtext.
我估计你说的是对的 You're probably right.
虽然我不懂"潜在理由"是什么 Then again, I don't know what subtext is.
我不想多事掺和你们的家事 I don't want to get in your business,
但既然你都"掺和"到我床上了 but since you're getting in my bed,
-我只好掺和了 -问吧 - I'm getting in your business. - Go ahead.
你什么时候走 When you leaving?
真好笑 Very funny.
这不是玩笑话 That wasn't a joke.
我爱你 也爱孩子们 I love you, and I love the kids,
但我更爱你们住在街对面 but I love you better living across the street.
抱歉我婚姻的终结给你带来不便 Sorry the end of my marriage is inconveniencing you.
别小题大做好吗 Oh, don't be so dramatic.
只是吵个小架而已 It's a little spat.
不 这是积累已久的矛盾 No, this was a long time coming.
这问题关系到我们婚姻的内核 This goes to the very core of our relationship.
看来你是要继续小题大做了 I see we're sticking with dramatic.
他一发现我自己有存私房钱 The minute he found out I had money set aside,
就觉得受到威胁 你知道为什么吗 he felt threatened. And you know why?
因为这代表我不依靠他也能独立生活 'Cause it meant that I can live independent of him.
比如睡在你妈咪的床上吗 Sleeping in your mommy's bed?
你懂我意思 You know what I mean.
你准备给谢尔顿买那台电脑吗 You gonna buy Sheldon that computer?
现在不买也不行了 Well, now I have to.
知道了 Got it.
你知道我还有活跃的性生活吧 You do know I still have an active love life.
赶快睡吧 Just go to sleep.
就在这张床上"活跃" On this very bed.
我的妈啊 Oh, Mom.
早餐吃什么 What's for breakfast?
我也不知道 倒一碗麦片吧 I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal.
妈妈通常给我们做鸡蛋和吐司 Mom usually makes us eggs and toast
偶尔还会有肉 and the occasional meat.
妈妈又不在家 Well, Mom isn't here, is she?
某人今天下床错边 起床气很大啊 Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
明明整张床任你选边 And you had a choice 'cause you had the whole bed.
小乔治 Georgie.
你在拿生命开玩笑 Walking on thin ice.
也许你该到街对面道歉 Maybe you should go across the street and apologize.
我不能那样做 I can't do that.
为什么 Why not?
因为如果我去了 就立下了不好的先例[总统] 'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.
尼克松总统跟这事有什么关系 What's Nixon got to do with it?
什么 What?
你说"不好的总统" 尼克松就是总统啊 You said "Bad president," like Nixon.
就是这个家伙啊 You know, this guy.
你要去道歉吗 You going to apologize?
爸爸 Dad!
如果是的话 带肉回来 If you are, bring back meat!
希望你这下开心了 Hey. I hope you're happy.
谢谢你 小乔治 你真好 Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind.
爸妈吵架就因为你想要一台破电脑 Mom and Dad are fighting because you want to get a stupid computer.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
妈妈想买给你 Mom wanted to buy it for you,
爸爸说买不起 Dad said they couldn't afford it,
姥姥说她给买 Meemaw offered to pay for it,
结果现在我只能吃菠萝条当午餐了 and now I'm eating pineapple spears for lunch.
我讨厌自己做午餐 I hate making my own lunch.
对不起 小乔治 我不知道 I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know.
现在你知道了 Yeah, well, now you do.
你午餐是什么 What did you get?
妈妈切成心形的火鸡三明治 A turkey sandwich Mom cut in the shape of a heart,
水果杯 布朗尼蛋糕 a fruit cup, a brownie,
还有一张姥姥写的字条 说她有多爱我 and a note from Meemaw saying how much she loves me.
我还没看 但我猜一定是超爱 I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's a lot.
我连开罐器都没有 I don't even have a can opener.
小马 我好爱你呀 Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much.
你对无生命物品的情感吓到我了 Your affection for inanimate objects frightens me.
你开心就好 米希 I'm glad you're happy, Missy.
我更高兴的是我得到了玩具 而谢尔顿屁都没有 I'm even happier that I got a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'.
我们还没购完物呢 Well, now, we're not exactly done shopping.
谢尔顿 你还想要那台电脑吗 Sheldon, you still want that computer?
我们不是买不起吗 I thought we couldn't afford it.
这你就不用担心了 Don't you worry about that.
你到底想不想要 Do you want it or not?
想得不得了 More than anything.
好吧 那我们就去买 All right, then, let's go get it.
等等 他能得到电脑 而我只有破玩具吗 Wait. He gets a computer and I get a lousy toy?
你不是喜欢吗 I thought you liked it.
现在不喜欢了 Not anymore.
水从哪里流出来啊 Where's the water come out of?
那是烘衣机 不会有水流出来 Well, seeing as that's the dryer, nowhere.
所以这个才是洗衣机 So this one's the washer?
不骗你 No foolin' you.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
把白色和其他颜色的分开 Separating the whites from the colors.
这是种族歧视啊 Whoa, that's racist.
我怎么会有一个儿子是火箭科学家 How did I get a rocket scientist for one son
另一个却是园游会白痴小丑 and a rodeo clown for the other?
我超希望能成为园游会小丑 Oh, man. I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown.
他们给人带来欢乐 They make people happy,
还能免费看牛仔竞技 and they see the rodeo for free.
我终于得到了 The home computer I had long coveted
梦寐以求的家用电脑 was finally in my possession,
但它同时也在摧毁我的家庭 but it was also destroying my home.
幸好 电脑自带了一个程序 Thankfully, it came pre-loaded
能帮助解决私人问题 with a program to help solve personal problems.
你好 我是伊莱莎 Hello, I am Eliza.
我 父母 My... parents...
正在 吵架 are... fighting...
经常吵 a lot.
我知道了 你能详细说说吗 I see. Can you elaborate on that?
我妈妈 My mother...
给我买了 bought... me...
这台 this...
电脑 computer...
但 but...
我爸 说 我们 my dad... says... we can't...
买不起 afford it.
你对你妈妈有意见吗 Do you have issues with your mother?
没有 Mmm... No.
她 给我做 She... makes me...
意粉 spaghetti...
里面还有 with hot dogs...
热狗丁 cut up in it.
你能详细说说吗 Can you elaborate on that?
你到底 Are you...
会不会帮我 going to help me or not?
你好 我是伊莱莎 Hello, I am Eliza.
未来或许被高估了 The future might be overrated.
好了 水肯定接通了 Okay, water's definitely on.
现在试试 Try it now.
我们要轻柔洗还是常规洗 We want delicate or regular?
无所谓 赶紧按开始吧 It doesn't matter, just turn it on.
选轻柔洗吧 比较保险 Let's go with delicate to be safe.
没反应 Nothin'.
该死 Damn it.
等等 我知道该怎么做 Wait, I know what to do.
怎么做 What?
到街对面 向妈妈道歉 Go across the street and apologize to Mom.
我没什么好道歉的 I got nothin' to apologize for.
你不用真心道歉 我从来就不是 You don't have to mean it. I never do.
小乔治 别多管闲事 Georgie, just mind your business.
好吧 抱歉 Okay, sorry.
为防你想知道 In case you were wondering,
我刚才不是真心的 I didn't mean that.
看到这有多简单了吗 See how easy it is?
这些家用电脑太了不起了 These home computers are amazing.
有了它 我都能开展真正的记账生意了 I could start a real bookkeeping business with that thing.
那对你得到你想要的经济独立 And that would go a long way to giving you
可大有帮助啊 the financial independence you're looking for.
可不是嘛 Darn tootin'.
告诉你一声 Just for your information,
谢尔顿现在正在用电脑 Sheldon is using the computer right now
试图修复你的婚姻 to try and fix your marriage.
真的吗 Really?
电脑怎么说 What did it say?
它说 It said...
"滚出你妈的房子" "Get out of your mother's house."
-妈妈 -我是认真的 - Mom. - I'm serious.
我想抽烟 我受够了躲在车库后面偷偷抽 I want a cigarette, and I'm tired of hiding behind the garage.
你觉得我该向乔治道歉吗 You think I should apologize to George?
当然不是 那会立下一个不好的先例 Well, of course not. That would set a terrible precedent.
我觉得你应该回家 I think you should go back over there
收拾点衣物给孩子们 to pick up some clothes for the kids
一边装出冷漠疏远的样子 and be all cold and distant,
那他就得向你道歉了 so he has to apologize to you.
这主意不坏 Oh, that's not bad.
照做吧 Do it.
我会的 I will.
你怎么还在喝茶 Why you drinking tea?
滚 蛋 Get out.
你好 Oh, hello.
你这是要回来吗 还是... Were you coming back, or... ?
只是给孩子们拿点换洗衣物 Just to get some clothes for the kids.
你是来找我谈谈的吗 Were you coming to talk to me?
这个嘛 是的 Well... yeah.
我 I, um...
想道歉 ...wanted to apologize.
真的吗 Really?
想散散步吗 Want to go for a walk?
聊一聊 Talk a little?
好啊 Sure.
孩子们 过来 Hey, kids, come here.
你们看 Look at that.
看样子你们爸妈要和好了 It looks like your mom and dad are gonna be all right.
这代表我们要回家了吗 Does this mean we're going home?
看起来是的 It appears so.
我都还没机会戴耳罩呢 I didn't even get to wear my earmuffs yet.
这个程序能帮我们记录家里的收支情况 And this program will allow us to track our family finances,
做出预算 以及准备报税文件 create a budget, and prepare tax documents.
真厉害 That's impressive.
你想知道你每年 Would you like to know how much money
花多少钱买啤酒吗 you spend on beer annually?
-不想 -我想 - No. ?- I would. ?
936美元 $936.
乔治 George.
如果你换成喝夏威夷宾治 If you switched to Hawaiian Punch,
我们就能换一间更大的房子了 we could live in a bigger house.
你好 我是伊莱莎 Hello, I am Eliza.
伊莱莎 Eliza...
你 是不是 Are... you...
很性感 hot?
在你的幻想里 我性感吗 In your fantasies, am I hot?
是的 Oh... yes.
你知道自己不是在跟真人说话吧 You realize you're not talking to a real person.
给我出去 我快得手了 Hey, get out of here. I'm about to score.
米希 把电脑关了 Missy! Turn off the computer.
该上床睡觉了 Time to go to bed.
我得做完我的功课 I got to finish my homework!
中大钱 中大钱 Big money, big money.
棒 Yes!
你好 Hello?
-怎么了 -什么 没事 - What? - What? Nothing.
按钮得用拉的 这设计真白痴 Button, you pull. That's stupid.