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翻译 旋风冲锋龙卷赛
你在读什么呢 Hey, what you reading?
杂志 A magazine.
学校做拼贴画要用吗 Oh. Making a collage for school?
翻译 油腻希
不是啊 就随便读读 No, just reading it.
看看 Look at that.
或许谢尔顿不是家里唯一一个小书虫 Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here.
校对 宁死不屈赛太公
什么杂志 Which magazine?
-《时尚》 -什么 - Cosmopolitan. - What?
是一本面向现代女性的杂志 It's a magazine for today's woman.
后期 灰灰是菇凉 时间轴 风吹来的那片云
我正要知道什么能让男人性致盎然呢 Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on.
总监 新浪微博@赛太公
你从哪弄来的这杂志 Where'd you get this?
我用水果糖卷跟海瑟换来的 Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
-这东西要进垃圾桶了 -你确定吗 - Well, this is going in the garbage. ‭- You sure?
里面有不少让你婚姻升温的好秘诀呢 It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage.
我的婚姻温度适宜 谢谢你啊 My marriage is fine, thank you.
以后不允许你再把这种污秽读物带进家里 And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
这不公平啊 谢尔顿也整天读脏脏的书 That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time,
也没听你说过他啊 and you don't say anything.
他才没有 He does not.
那你看看他桌上的漫画 Check out the comic book on his desk.
什么鬼 What?
我的老天啊 Oh, my goodness.
要命了 Oh, my.
等等 Hold on.
不行 不行 No. No.
这个蓝色男人的"后面"都露出来了 Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
翻到112页 你能看到他的正面 On page 112, you get to see his front side.
-我会再回来 -你要去哪里 - I'll be back. - Where you going?
去给漫画店的老板 To give the owner of that comic book store
-"说说"我的意见 -厉害 - a piece of my mind! - Cool.
然后我要打给海瑟的妈妈 And then I'm calling Heather's mom!
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪ ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少 年
谢尔顿
有任何越南裔的超级英雄吗 Are there any Vietnamese superheroes?
有一个叫半脸的 There's one called Half-Face.
为什么 Why?
越共逼他制造炸弹 The communist government forced him to build bombs,
而其中一个炸掉了他半边脸 and one blew off half his face.
是左半边还是右半边 The left half or the right half?
是下半边 The bottom half.
那是很重要的半边呢 That's an important half.
不好意思 你把这个卖给我儿子了吗 Excuse me. Did you sell this to my son?
我不知道啊 你儿子是谁 I don't know. Who's your son?
角落的那个小男孩 The little boy in the corner.
-哪一个 -谢尔顿·库珀 - Which one? - Sheldon Cooper.
卖了 Oh. Yeah.
你看看他 Look at him!
他就跟你这里卖的娃娃一样大小 He is the same size as one of the dolls you sell here.
那些是人形公仔 Those are action figures.
你这个人没有一点责任心的吗 Where is your sense of responsibility?
你看过这书的内容吗 Have you looked inside this book?
我看了 Because I have.
在那一刻 At that moment,
我感觉到了一股热气隐隐往我脸上升 I felt a subtle heat rising through my body.
我已经习惯了每天被我的兄弟姐妹羞辱 I was used to being humiliated by my siblings on a daily basis,
但被我妈妈 but from my mother?
这还是头一遭 This was new territory.
妈 我要被你丢死人了 Mom, you're embarrassing me.
是吗 Oh, is that right?
你猜怎么着 我才不管你 Well, guess what. I don't care.
如果我再抓到你卖给他 And if I catch you doing it again,
我下次就带我老公来 他可比我可怕多了 I'll be back with my husband; he is way scarier than me.
-哪有人能比你可怕 -走吧 - I doubt that. - Let's go.
我是跟丹一起来的 But I came here with Tam.
丹 你要一起走吗 Tam, you coming or not?
没事 I'm good.
你也看出来了 我跟他们没血缘关系 As you can see, I'm not related to them.
本地天气 And in local weather,
周二发布的本地龙卷风预警还将持续 the tornado watch issued Tuesday is still in effect for the area.
不要转台 我们将随时为您更新新资讯 Stay right here for updates as we get 'em.
我都不懂你为什么会对 I don't understand why you'd even be interested
那种书有兴趣 in a book like that.
其中一个角色是个科学家 One of the characters is a scientist
他曾经参与过曼哈顿计划 who worked on the Manhattan Project.
二战期间研发与制造原子弹的一项大型军事工程
书里面充满了暴力与裸露 Well, it's filled with violence and nudity,
不许你再看那些东西 and you are done looking at it.
但漫画也是一种艺术 But comics are a form of art.
你难道会因为有裸露 You wouldn't forbid me from looking
就禁止我看米开朗基罗的大卫像吗 at Michelangelo's David just because he's nude.
等你书里的蓝色裸体男的雕像 When a statue of your naked blue fella
在梵蒂冈展示时 我们再谈 is on display at the Vatican, we'll talk.
其实大卫像是在佛罗伦萨学院美术馆展示 Actually, David is at the Accademia Gallery in Florence.
无所谓 我也不想你看他的屁股 Doesn't matter. I don't want you looking at his bottom either.
妈妈呢 Where's Mom?
去把漫画店老板给生吞活剥了 Chewing out the guy who runs the comic book store.
为什么 Why?
她发现谢尔顿有少儿不宜的漫画 She found an inappropriate comic
然后就爆发了 that Sheldon had and went ballistic.
她也没收了我的《时尚》 She also took my Cosmo.
什么是《时尚》 What's a Cosmo?
是一本面向现代女性的杂志 A magazine for today's woman.
那你太倒霉啦 Sucks for you.
如果我的房间里有她不会同意的东西 You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of,
我觉得现在赶快去找个好的藏匿点 I might be looking for a real good hiding place
会是个好主意 right about now.
我觉得我应该没事 I think I'm okay.
你的通风口吗 Your air vent?
男生都是笨蛋 Boys are dumb.
竹本疋虫 D-u-m-b.
笨蛋虫吗 Dumb-a?
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
没收你的漫画 Confiscating your comic books.
等你满18岁了再还给你 You can have them back when you're 18.
你连《鬼马小精灵》都不放过吗 You're taking Casper the Friendly Ghost?
鬼是亵渎神明的 算什么好小精灵 Ghosts are sacrilegious. Nothing friendly about that.
很好 Very well.
这里还有一本应该被一起收走的书 There's one more book that belongs in the box,
里面充满了通奸 种族灭绝 还有活人生祭 filled with adultery, genocide, and even human sacrifice.
《圣经》
你觉得自己可聪明了吧 You think you're so smart.
是啊 但你还是一直把我当个孩子对待 I do. And yet you continue to treat me like a child.
这样吧 You know what?
你想我把你当成人对待 我满足你 You want me to treat you like an adult, you got it.
从现在开始 我再也不当你妈咪伺候你 From this moment on, I am done mommy-ing you.
太棒了 那你能把我的漫画都还给我了吗 Wonderful. Does that mean I can have my comic books back?
漫画是给小孩看的 你是大人了 Comic books are for children. You're an adult.
那晚开始 我正式担起我新的成人责任 My new adult responsibilities began that night.
幸好 食谱不过就是 Luckily, a cookbook is nothing more
一连串的指令 than a set of instructions.
而要说到我的强项 And if there's one thing I shine at,
那跟随指令就是其中之一 it's following instructions.
谢尔顿在干嘛 What's Sheldon doing?
-做自己的晚饭 -为什么 - Cooking his own dinner. - ‭Why?
他想像大人一样自己照顾自己 He wants to take care of himself like an adult.
我计划把这件事拖得越久越好 I plan on putting that off for as long as possible.
真的吗 还计划上啦 Really? It's a plan?
我去看着他吧 Maybe I should go keep an eye on him.
别 让他自己处理 No. Let him handle this on his own.
我也不介意去看看 I wouldn't mind watching.
我们来祷告吧 Let's just say grace.
我做不到 我得去看看 I can't. I got to go in there.
姥姥要去 我也要去 If she's going, I'm going.
谁都不许离开 No one's going anywhere.
他如果需要帮忙 他可以开口 If he needs help, he can ask.
我不需要人帮忙 I don't need help!
一切都在我掌握之中 Everything's under control!
你这次真的立场很坚定啊 You're really holding the line on this one.
抱歉 但这是他逼我的 I'm sorry, but he just pushed my buttons.
不用道歉 我就爱这御姐风范 Don't be sorry. I'm diggin' it.
恶心 ‭Gross.
我同意 I agree.
还挺恶心的 Pretty gross.
你们这些人嘴真毒 Y'all are mean.
你的鸡肉如何 How was your chicken?
还不错 洗碗精给了它美味的柠檬味儿 Not bad. The dish soap gave it a nice lemony flavor.
好啦 睡觉时间到了 All right, bedtime.
-晚安妈妈 -晚安宝贝 - Night, Mama. - Night, baby.
做个好梦 Have sweet dreams.
-爱你 -我也爱你 - Love you. ‭- Love you, too.
谢尔顿 应该不用我帮你盖好被子了吧 Sheldon, I assume you don't need to be tucked in?
我可以自己来 谢了 I can handle it, thank you.
好吧 Okay.
没有晚安亲亲吗 Wow. No good night kiss?
这得看你弟弟 That's up to your brother.
不需要了 That won't be necessary.
行 Fine.
够了没 要服软了吗 Had enough? You gonna back down?
没呢 No.
他很聪明 但他得学会 He's real smart, but he needs to learn
并不是什么事他都懂 he doesn't know everything.
女人 你真是每秒都越来越性感啊 Woman, you are getting sexier by the second.
现在你们把他当大人对待了 Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult,
他的零花钱能给我吗 can I have his allowance?
那个零花钱是因为帮忙做家事 你压根就没做过 That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
别这样 我们都知道我是你最爱的孩子 Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
你都不是他第三爱的孩子 You're not even his third favorite.
隔天早上我给自己做带去学校的午餐 Making my school lunch the next morning
并没有比前一晚的晚餐容易 proved no easier than dinner.
或许你转错方向了 Maybe you're turning it the wrong way.
你没有别的更值得做的事情了吗 Don't you have anything better to do?
没有比这个更值得的了 Not better than this.
只需要小小的科学就能解决这个 This is nothing a little science can't fix.
只需要破坏压力封闭就行了 All I need to do is break the pressure seal.
看来小小科学还不够用啊 I don't think that was enough science.
早安啊 米希 Morning, Missy.
-早安啊 谢尔顿 -早安 - Morning, Sheldon. ‭- Morning.
早安啊 玛丽 Morning, Mary.
妈 你得签这个同意书 Mom, you need to sign this consent form.
这是干嘛的 What's it for?
校外教学 Field trip.
-去哪里 -博物馆 - Where? - Museum.
-哪个博物馆 -有差别吗 - Which one? - Does it matter?
反正我去哪个都不会学到什么 It's not like I'm gonna learn anything, anyway.
是自然科学博物馆的天文馆 It's the planetarium at the science museum.
我也需要你签一下我的 And I need you to sign mine, too.
你都是个大人了 Oh. It's interesting that an adult
居然还要母亲签同意函 真是有意思 would need his mother to sign a consent form.
好戏再度上演 And here we go.
我不需要你签 是学校要你签 I don't need you to sign it, the school does.
那你意思是连学校都不认为 So you're saying even the school doesn't think
你足够成熟到可以自己做决定 that you're mature enough to make all your own decisions.
在那一刻 In that moment,
我内心充满对她的怒火 几乎把罐子打开了 I was so angry with her, I almost opened the jar.
辅导老师办公室
我准备好上大学了 I'm ready to go to college.
好吧 你想去哪儿 Okay. Where you thinking?
有好的科学项目的地方 Somewhere with a good science program,
但得够远 but far enough away
让我妈在我走后每晚哭着睡着 to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone.
你申请大学是为了泄愤吗 You're applying to college out of spite?
我明白你为什么是辅导老师了 I see why you're the guidance counselor.
我们来看看 Okay, let's see.
帕萨迪纳的加州理工怎么样 What about Caltech in Pasadena?
我无法想象自己住在加州 I can't see myself living in California.
我不信任他们逍遥自在的生活方式 I don't trust their carefree lifestyle.
好吧 Okay. Um...
那波士顿的麻省理工呢 How about MIT in Boston?
他们有优秀的物理项目吗 Do they have a strong physics program?
这所大学偏向工程 They're more of an engineering school.
下一所 Next.
哈佛任何时候都是个好选择 There's always Harvard.
我不喜欢寒冷的天气 但我穿褐红色很好看 Hmm. I don't like cold weather, but I do look good in maroon.
哈佛校服颜色是褐红色
好吧 那就哈佛了 谢谢你 All right, Harvard it is. Thank you for your help.
你要不要申请一所保底学校 Are you interested in applying to a safety school
以防你没考进哈佛 in case you don't get in?
保底学校 你真幽默 Safety school. You're funny.
大家今天过得怎么样啊 So, how was everyone's day?
我在学校切开了一只青蛙 I cut open a frog at school.
科学课的项目吗 For science class?
你说是就是 Sure.
我们应该给放刀的抽屉上把锁 We should put a lock on the knife drawer.
你在吃什么 What are you eating?
英式松饼配番茄酱和芝士酱 An English muffin with ketchup and spray cheese.
不公平 No fair.
好幸运 Lucky.
我花了一小时做烘肉卷 真是对不起了 Sorry I spent an hour making meatloaf.
小饼饼 So, Moonpie,
大人生活过得还好吗 how's adult life treating you?
其实挺顺利的 Very well, actually.
我在准备哈佛大学的入学申请 I'm working on my application to Harvard.
是吗 Is that so?
嗯 而且我计划 Yes. And I'm planning on transferring there
尽快转学过去 as soon as possible.
你不能去哈佛 You're not going away to Harvard.
我想这事不是你说了算 I don't believe you have a say in this.
好吧 Okay, well,
哈佛学费很贵的 Harvard's real expensive.
你打算怎么支付 How do you plan on paying for it?
我相信我会得到奖学金的 Oh, I'm sure I'll get a scholarship.
-是吗 -对 我坚信 - Oh, are you? - Yes, I am.
好了 好了 Okay. Okay.
大家都深呼吸 然后换个话题吧 Let's just take a deep breath and talk about something else.
行 Fine.
我想听那只青蛙的事 I want to hear about that frog.
这话题不行 A different something else.
我刚想到一件事 I just realized something.
递交大学申请就要花钱了 College applications cost money just to send in.
-真的吗 -每次50 60美元 - They do? - ‭$50, $60 a pop.
我想你没那么多钱 对吧 I don't believe you have that kind of money, do you?
失陪一下 Will you excuse me?
我得去洗个冷水澡"冷静"一下 I have to go take a cold shower.
兰道尔 我想应聘一份工作 Hello, Randall. I would like to apply for a job.
-真的吗 -对 - You would? ‭- Yes.
我需要赚钱才能申请上哈佛 I need to earn money so I can apply to Harvard.
我也考虑过去念哈佛 I thought about going to Harvard,
但我又意识到睿侠才是我的热情所在 but then I realized The Shack is my passion.
那我能在这儿工作吗 So can I work here?
请问一下 这台电脑的内存是多少 Excuse me. How much RAM does this computer have?
我帮你查一下 Um, I can check on that for you.
出厂时是640KB 但可以扩展到768KB It comes with 640 kilobytes, but it's expandable up to 768.
怎么样 Well?
你有简历吗 Do you even have a résumé?
没有 但我有张能让你惊呆的成绩单 No, but I have a report card that'll knock your socks off.
处理器速度是多少 And what's the processor speed?
处理器用的是因特尔8286芯片 所以是10兆赫 It has the Intel 8286, so ten megahertz.
抱歉 谢尔顿 Sorry, Sheldon.
公司规定不能雇用小孩子 I think it's against company policy to hire little kids.
但人们总说我像个老头一样 But people say I'm like an old man all the time.
我也这么说啊 但还是不行 Hey, I'm one of 'em, but the answer's still no.
当人们想知道 When people wonder
睿侠为何最终会倒闭时 why Radio Shack eventually went out of business,
你们可以指向这一刻 you can point to this moment.
姥姥 Meemaw?
看起来好帅气呀 Hey! Looking sharp.
你不是想给我推销一套刀具吧 You're not gonna try to sell me a set of knives, are you?
-不是 -我是在开玩笑 - No. - ‭It's a joke.
因为你穿西装好像推销员 'Cause of the suit.
好吧 Okay.
我申请哈佛需要钱 I need money for my Harvard application,
想问问有没有我可以做的工作 and was wondering if there are any jobs I could do.
我的院子需要除除草 Hmm. My yard could use a little weeding.
我不太喜欢户外工作 I'm not terribly fond of outdoor work.
再说 那只花园侏儒雕像好吓人 Plus, that garden gnome terrifies me.
欧内斯托是会有这效果 Ernesto has that effect on people.
这份工作有多少酬劳 How much does the job pay?
我想想 每小时一美元怎么样 Well, let me think. How about a dollar an hour?
-每小时五美元怎么样 -每小时五毛怎么样 - How about five dollars an hour? - How about 50 cents an hour?
等等 刚才发生了什么 Wait a minute. What just happened?
-这样吧 我付你一美元 -谢谢 - I'll tell you what. I'll give you a dollar. - ‭Thank you.
你不是觉得我无法独立完成任何事吗 You know how you think I can't do anything for myself?
我是这么想 I do think that, yes.
我有样东西要给你看 Well, I have something I'd like to show you.
你干家务了吗 You did some chores?
你自己来看 Come see for yourself.
我不知道我是否准备好再来一次心脏病发 I don't know if I'm ready for another heart attack,
不过好吧 but here we go.
让你一饱眼福 Feast your eyes.
都是你自己收拾的吗 You did all this?
没错 I did.
你把东西都塞进衣柜里了 对吧 You shoved everything in the closet, didn't you?
去看看啊 Take a look.
我很佩服 I'm impressed.
你应该佩服 You should be.
也许你还有得救 There may be hope for you yet.
我认为那表现了我的足智多谋 I thought that showed ingenuity.
好了 开工了 Okay, here you go.
我给你拿了铲子和桶 还有手套 I got you a shovel and a bucket and some gloves.
你检查过手套里有没蜘蛛了吗 Did you check the gloves for spiders?
我第一天当姥姥吗 Is this my first day as Meemaw?
不是吗 It's not?
不 现在是猎鸭时节 No. It's duck-hunting season.
先生 那纯属捏造 That, sir, is an in-mitigated fabrication!
-现在是兔子季节 -是鸭子季节 - It's wabbit season! - Duck season.
别又来了 Not again.
怎么了 宝贝 What's wrong, baby?
我想听鸭子季节和兔子季节的事 I'm trying to hear about duck season and wabbit season,
但他们一直在讨论龙卷风 but they keep talking about this stupid tornado.
国家气象局对以下各县 The National Weather Service has issued a tornado watch
发布了龙卷风警报 安吉利那... for the following counties: Angelina...
谢利 进行得怎么样了 Hey, Shelly, how's it going over there?
我讨厌死这活儿了 I hate everything about this.
你得跟我回家 You need to come home with me.
不 我在干活 No. I'm working.
有龙卷风警报 我们走吧 There is a tornado watch. Let's go!
得了吧 玛丽 这两个月来 Oh, come on, Mary. We've had a watch
我们天天都有警报 什么都没发生 every day for two months; nothing ever happens.
我想你只是担心 I think you're just worried
我在赚递交大学申请的钱 I'm earning the money to send in my college application.
我担心外面不安全 走吧 I am worried it is not safe out here. Let's go!
我可以担心自己的安危 谢谢 I can worry about my own safety, thank you.
我不管你是否认为自己是大人 I don't care if you think you're an adult.
我是你妈 你得照我说的做 I'm your mother, and you will do as I say.
这可不妙 Well, that ain't good.
这下你相信了吧 You believe me now?
妈妈 Mom?
-我好害怕 -不会有事的 - I'm scared! - It's gonna be okay.
小乔治 Georgie!
-帮我把这个摆在窗户前面 -来了 - Help me get this in front of the window. - On it.
-这是我的床吗 -是的 - Is this my bed? ‭- Yeah.
我铺了一小时才铺好的 Aw, it took me an hour to make it.
你还好吧 小饼饼 You okay, Moonpie?
我没事 I'm all right.
-我不好 太吓人了 -我们不会有事的 - I'm not. This is scary. - We're gonna be fine.
几分钟后风就过了 This'll blow through in a few minutes.
我要尿尿 I need to pee.
能忍住吗 宝贝 Can you hold it, baby?
等会就知道了 We'll find out.
我现在有事了 I'm not all right anymore!
大家开电筒 Flashlights, guys!
万一龙卷风击中我们 我们全死了怎么办 What if it hits us and we all die?
不会击中我们的 我倒有可能暴打你 It's not gonna hit us! I might hit you.
但我会先抱住你 But first, I'm gonna hold you.
奉耶稣之名 我在这所房子和我家人周围 In the name of Jesus, I place a hedge of protection
布下保护罩 around this house and my family.
我奉耶稣之名 命令这场暴风跳过我们家 I command this storm to skip over our home in Jesus' name.
我奉耶稣之名 祈祷这个房间里的人都平安 I wish peace to every single person in this room
并声明 我们都不会 and declare that not one of us will get hurt
在这场暴风中受伤 in this storm, in Jesus' name!
更用力祈祷 Pray harder!
好的 Okay.
好消息是 我们社区大部分地方都未受波及 The good news was most of our neighborhood was spared.
坏消息是 我母亲认为 The bad news: my mother thought
这有她的功劳 she had something to do with it.
你的房子看起来没事 Looks like your house is okay.
你只是担心我可能得搬过来跟你们住 You were just worried I might have to come live with you.
我想你要说的不是"担心"是"害怕" Oh, I think the word you're looking for is "terrified."
我过去看看吧 Hmm. Better go check on it.
我陪你一起去 I'll come with you.
小心点 Be careful.
妈妈 Mom?
什么 宝贝 Yeah, baby?
你不会相信我刚才撒的尿有多大泡 You would not believe the pee I just took.