对大多数学生来说 For most students,
周末代表着两天的欢乐与自由 the weekend represented two days of fun, freedom,
而对我哥哥来说 and in the case of my brother,
那是一个无视任何卫生习惯的机会 a chance to ignore all forms of hygiene.
快点 再走快一点 Come on, come on.
对我来说 周末代表着 To me, however, it represented
我不喜欢的学习中断期 an unwelcome break from education.
感谢老天爷 Whoo! Thank the Lord!
但这个周末与平常的不同 But this wasn't a typical weekend,
因为这个周末我可以帮我父母报税 because this was the weekend I got to do my parents' taxes.
欢迎欢迎 收入税表 Howdy do, W-2.
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪ ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少 年
谢尔顿
"如果您没有养老金计划 "If you were not covered by a retirement plan,
但您的伴侣有 请翻到表格第14页 but your spouse was, see the worksheet on page 14."
没人能阻止我翻过去 Try and stop me.
妈 我在整理我们的支出的时候 Mom, I was going through our expenditures
发现我们买食品杂货账单比上一季高了12% and noticed our grocery bills are up 12% compared to last quarter.
你知道为什么吗 Any idea why?
可能是因为桌尾有一个人总来蹭白食吧 There's a person at the end of the table that eats for free.
是因为另一边桌尾有人得食三份吧 There's a person at the other end of the table that eats for three.
我买了不少食物拿去教堂捐给穷人 I've been buying groceries for the church food drive.
应该是这个原因吧 I think that's it.
那我肯定这笔支出能冲销 Ooh, I bet I could write that off,
连带开车去超市与教堂路上的油费 including the gas it took to drive to the grocery store
都能一并冲销 and then to the church.
开这么多路 或许能把车算作是家庭办公室 With all that driving, maybe she can count her car as a home office.
挺激进的做法 但我喜欢你这个思路 Sounds aggressive, but I like how you're thinking.
不需要搞那些 这是为了做慈善 None of that is necessary, it's for charity.
如果没有税务福利 那我们还做慈善干嘛 What's the point of charity if there are no tax benefits?
吃你的豆子 Eat your peas.
我喜欢他这个思路 I like how he's thinking.
你也乖乖吃你的豆子 You eat your peas, too.
爸爸 有银行相关问题 Dad, banking question.
怎么啦 小家伙 Whs that, buddy?
我发现有一张支票不见了 I noticed there's a check missing.
我这里有第128号支票的副本 I have a copy of check 128
还有第130号支票的副本 唯独缺了129号 and a copy of check 130, but 129 isn't there.
没事啦 不用担心这个 Oh, yeah, don't worry about it.
但我就喜欢担心事情 我觉得能放松心情 But I enjoy worrying; I find it very relaxing.
真不意外 'Course you do.
我算了算帐 I balanced the rest of the account,
那是一张300块的支票 and it appears to be a check for $300.
好吧 那你就写300块的杂项支出 All right, well, let's just put it down for $300 for miscellaneous.
我此生没给任何东西标为杂项过 I've never labeled anything miscellaneous in my life.
我去问妈 I'll go ask Mom.
别走 Wait.
我想起来了 I just remembered.
我把钱给了一个朋友 I gave the money to a friend.
-谁啊 -是谁不重要 - Who? ‭- It doesn't matter who.
那你为什么给人家 Why'd you give it to them?
人家有需要嘛 就像是做慈善 They needed it. It... it's like charity.
又可以冲销 太棒了 Ooh, another write-off, excellent.
你觉得我们能不说出去这事吗 What do you say we keep this quiet?
你是指这事是个秘密 You mean like a secret?
不 也没有啦 就是我跟你之间的一件事 No, no, just, you know, something between you and me.
那妈妈呢 What about Mom?
妈妈知道该知道的就行了 Mom is on a need-to-know basis.
那万一妈妈需要知道呢 What if Mom needs to know?
行吧 这是个秘密 Okay, it's a secret.
你相信我 Just trust me.
她不知道这件事对所有人都好 It is better for everyone if she doesn't know about this.
但我很不擅长保密 But I'm not good at keeping secrets.
不难啊 你只要闭上嘴就行 It's not hard. Just keep your mouth shut.
但我很不擅长闭上嘴 But I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut.
谢尔顿 你只需要上道 酷一点就行 Sheldon, all you got to do is be cool.
"酷一点" "Be cool."
他干脆要求我在后院里飞翔算了 He might as well have asked me to fly around the backyard.
-晚安宝贝 -晚安妈妈 - Good night, baby. - Night, Mama.
-爱你 -我也爱你 - Love you. - Love you, too.
你好啊 Oh, hello.
我刚才是如平常一样去刷牙了 I was just brushing my teeth like I do every night.
完全没什么不同之处 Nothing new there.
你还好吧 You all right?
很好啊 我很酷 Yes. I'm cool.
非常酷 I'm very cool.
告诉谢尔顿酷的真正意思吧 Tell Sheldon what cool means.
你安静 Hush.
做个美梦 Sweet dreams.
我爱你 Love you.
我也爱你 因为你是我老妈 Love you, too, 'cause you're my mom.
你真的好奇怪 You're so weird.
比平常怪吗 More than usual?
那倒没有 No, I guess not.
完美 Perfect.
为了不显可疑 To avoid looking suspicious,
我试着尽量减少与我妈妈有互动 I tried to interact with my mom as little as possible.
幸好 有礼的孩子食不言寝不语 Thankfully, it's rude to speak with your mouth full.
你看起来很累 有睡好吗 You look tired, baby. Sleep okay?
你觉得我们今年能退多少税回来呢 So how big a tax refund you think we're gonna get?
-早安 -早 - Mornin'. ‭- Mornin'.
我昨晚裸睡了 I slept in the nude last night.
感受到了每一徐微风 Felt every little breeze.
多谢你的分享啊 Thank you for sharing that.
不客气 You're welcome.
阿丽 家里还有电池吗 Mare, we got any batteries?!
去冰箱旁边的抽屉看看 Look in the drawer by the refrigerator.
我的食量有限 不可能总在吃东西 There was only so much food I could eat,
所以我剩下的时间都尽力躲我妈 so I started avoiding my mother whenever possible.
你在里面干嘛 What are you doing in there?
为你保密 Keeping your secret.
你得振作起来啊 You got to pull it together.
这已经是我振作的样子了 This is me pulling it together.
-那就再多振一点 -找到了吗 - Pull harder. - Find 'em?
找到啦 谢谢 Yeah. Got 'em. Thanks.
不客气 You're very welcome.
你有发现谢尔顿最近怪怪的吗 Hey, have you noticed anything off with Sheldon?
没 没有啊 没发现 怎么了 Uh, no, no, no. Can't say that I have. Why?
他最近异常安静 而且虽然这么做不好 He's been awful quiet, and, at the risk of being indelicate,
但我发现他有好几天没有上过大号了 he's gone several days without a bowel movement.
你怎么知道的 How do you know that?
我很担心他嘛 Well, I was worried about him,
所以我去看了他的如厕日志 so I took a look in his potty journal.
他还在写那玩意呢 He's still keeping that thing, huh?
对啊 所以他才跟我们要了一台拍立得相机 Oh, yeah, that's why he wanted the Polaroid camera.
我相信他一定没事啦 Uh, well, I'm sure he's gonna be fine,
不过我会多留意他 uh, but I'll keep an eye on him.
-谢谢 -小事 - Thank you. - You got it.
-她走了 -谢谢 - She's gone. - Thank you.
电池在这个抽屉里 Batteries are in this drawer.
有麻烦了 We got a problem.
我不知道谢尔顿还能保守秘密多久 I don't know how much longer Sheldon can hold out.
这就是为什么我让你别用支票嘛 This is why I did not want you to write a check.
给您添麻烦啦 但我平常没那么多现金 Well, I'm sorry, but I didn't have that kind of cash lying around.
我不想玛丽发现这件事 I do not want Mary to find out about this.
那谢尔顿怎么办 Well, what about Sheldon?
这孩子好多天没上大号了 他会炸的 The kid hasn't pooped in days, he might pop.
给他的苹果汁里加点纤维粉就没事了 Slip a little Metamucil into his apple juice, he'll be fine.
我们就去坦白不好吗 Why don't we just come clean?
好啦 我们是也可以去坦白 All right, sure, we could do that.
你可以去跟玛丽告我状 You could rat me out to Mary and...
那我也可以告诉她你在教会野餐时做的事 I could tell her what you did at the church picnic.
你不是吧 Come on.
你也太损了吧 Now you're just playing dirty.
乔治 我们生一起生 死就一起死 We sink or swim together, George.
生一起生 死一起死 We sink or swim together.
当姥姥的不都应该很善良吗 Grandmas are supposed to be nice.
你是哪里出了毛病 What went wrong with you?
在我们自己家中躲我妈妈 Avoiding my mother in our own house
已被证明十分有难度 was proving to be difficult,
所以我得想点妙招 so it was time to get creative.
您好 我想在你们的旅馆订个房间 Hello. I'd like to book a room in your hotel.
我今晚就要入住 I'd be arriving tonight.
不 就我一个人 No, it's just me.
女皇[大号]床吗 听起来很华丽 Ooh, a queen bed, that sounds fancy.
那这房间的房费是多少呢 And how much would this room cost?
这价格是月费吗 Wow. Is that per month?
是一晚的啊 Per day?
那冒昧问一下 有没有儿童优惠价呢 By any chance, do you have a children's rate?
我们当朋友也有些日子了吧 We've been friends for a while now, haven't we?
大概吧 I suppose so.
所以你觉得去对方家过夜玩怎么样 Given that, how would you feel about a sleepover?
没问题 你妈妈都让你看电视 Sure. Your mom lets you watch TV.
今晚有我喜欢的刑侦犯罪剧呢 Jake and the Fatman is on tonight.
我是说我去你们家过夜 I meant we could sleep at your house.
但这样你就会错过看剧啊 But you'll miss Jake and the Fatman.
那更好了 你意下如何 Even better. So what do you say?
我得先请示一下我妈妈 I'll have to ask my mom.
那你记得告诉她 我很讲卫生 又有礼貌 Well, be sure to tell her I'm clean, I'm well-behaved,
而且我还不占地方 and if you don't have a lot of room,
能塞进特别窄小的空间 I can fit in really tight spaces.
第一次去朋友家过夜 So your first sleepover.
挺兴奋的吧 Pretty exciting, huh?
才不兴"粪"呢 我是便秘 No. It's not exciting, it's constipating,
我这么做也只是为了躲老妈 and I'm only doing it to avoid Mom.
但始终还是你第一次去朋友家过夜 But still, it's your first sleepover.
很好玩的 It's fun stuff.
好啦 我知道你心里憋得慌 Okay, I know you're having a tough time with this,
但... 你表现得很棒了 but... you're doing great.
你去丹家玩一玩 You spend some time at Tam's house,
把脑海里的烦恼甩去 然后崭然一新地回家 you know, clear your head, and come back home refreshed.
然后我就能告诉妈妈了吗 And then I can tell Mom?
不行 你永远不能告诉你妈 Oh, no, you can never tell Mom.
你直接坦白不会比较简单吗 Wouldn't it be easier to just be honest?
通常会 但这事嘛... Usually, it would be, but...
有时候真相会伤人 sometimes the truth can hurt people. Hmm?
我们不想让妈妈伤心的吧 We wouldn't want to hurt Mom, right?
当然不 Of course not.
乖孩子 Attaboy.
教你一个今晚你可以玩的恶作剧 Hey, here's a funny prank you can try tonight.
等丹睡着了之后 你就挤刮胡膏到他手上 When Tam falls asleep, put some shaving cream in his hand
然后瘙痒他的鼻子 and then tickle his nose.
为什么 Why?
因为他就会... 'Cause then he'll go to,
你懂的 给鼻子抓痒嘛 you know, scratch his nose,
然后他就会把刮胡膏弄得满脸 and he gets shaving cream on his face.
然后呢 And then what?
就这样啊 Well... that-that's it.
但我是去人家家里做客 But I'm a guest in their home,
用这种方式回报人家 and that doesn't seem like a very good way
大方收留我不太好吧 to repay their kindness.
算了 Never mind.
而且如果刮胡膏弄到他眼睛里怎么办 And what if the shaving cream gets in his eyes?
会很刺痛的吧 That would sting.
抱歉我不该提的 Sorry I mentioned it.
而且我没带自己的刮胡膏 Also, I didn't bring my own shaving cream.
我就得用他爸爸的 这样... I'd have to use his dad's, and that...
别说了 Forget it!
您好 Hello.
你好 你一定是... Hi. You must be Mrs....
丹的母亲 Tam's mom.
我是谢尔顿的爸爸 乔治·库珀 I'm Sheldon's dad, George Cooper.
幸会 Nice to meet you.
谢谢你收留他过夜 Thanks for letting him spend the night.
这是他第一次到朋友家过夜 他很兴奋 It's his first sleepover. He's excited.
其实我还挺... Actually, I'm quite apprehens...
他十分期待 He's really looking forward to it.
如果有任何事情 喊我们一声就行 Uh, in case something comes up, just give us a holler.
我是指打电话 如果你用喊的 我们家听不到 I mean, a call. If you hollered, we wouldn't hear you.
我刚才是在说笑啦 That-that was a joke.
哈 哈 哈 Ha-ha-ha!
好啦 小家伙玩开心点 Okay, buddy, have fun.
第一次到丹家 Visiting Tam's house for the first time
简直像坐情感过山车 was an emotional roller coaster.
比如说 越南人有个传统 For example, it's traditional in Vietnamese homes
会在入门处摆放可怕的宗教肖像 to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance.
我不喜欢 I did not like that.
不过 他们通常 However, it's also customary
进屋后会脱掉鞋子 to not wear shoes around the house
出于卫生考量 for sanitary reasons.
这一点我喜欢 I did like that.
有趣的是 Interestingly,
越南菜其中一种主要成分 one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking
是一种叫鱼露的刺鼻调味料 is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce.
我十分不喜欢 I did not like that.
但每次吃饭前 But before every meal,
大家都会先洗手洗脸 it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face.
这一点我喜欢 I did like that.
越南人家里通常不会有叉子 Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household.
我不喜欢 I did not like that.
另外 餐桌上没有纸巾 And instead of napkins, there was one towel
大家共用一条毛巾擦嘴 for everyone to share at the table.
说真的 他们是不是傻 Seriously, what are they thinking?
我还是觉得好奇怪 I can't help thinking how odd it is
谢利居然会主动到别人家过夜 that Shelly volunteered to go on a sleepover.
我也不知道 Oh, I don't know.
他长大了 Hmm? He's growing up.
小男生想出去闯闯 尝试新事物 It's natural for a young boy to want to spread his wings a little bit,
是很正常的 try something new.
胡说八道 That's nonsense.
上周 我买回家的 Last week, I brought home
葡萄干麦片的葡萄干上有糖粉 the Raisin Bran with the sugar on the raisins.
他差点崩溃暴走 He almost lost his mind.
要我说 If you ask me,
你是杞人忧天 you're worried about nothing.
说不定是我 Maybe it's me.
是我做了什么让他不开心了 Maybe I did something to upset him.
你在说什么傻话 What are you talking about?
他爱死你了 He loves you like crazy.
比对他爸的爱多多了 Much more than he loves this one.
是真的 It's true.
我不知道 I don't know.
就是觉得有什么不对劲 I just feel like something isn't right.
妈妈 Mom!
我头发被拉链夹住了 I got my hair stuck in my zipper!
你该担忧的是那个孩子 That's the kid you need to be worried about.
康妮 我们何不坦白告诉她呢 Okay, Connie, why don't we just come clean?
不行 No.
你也听到她说的了 You heard her.
她现在在责怪自己 Now she's blaming herself.
而谢尔顿很不好受 And Sheldon's so upset
他变得像个正常孩子了 he's-he's acting like a regular kid.
-好吧 我们告诉她 -谢谢你 - All right, let's tell her. - Thank you.
但我要先告诉她你野餐时做了什么事 But first I'm gonna tell her what you did at the picnic.
-玛丽啊 -好了 安静 - Oh, Mary! - Okay, okay, shh.
我不知道我们还能瞒她多久 I don't know how much longer we can keep this going.
我拭目以待 I'm willing to find out.
"卡亚战神"
这个游戏叫做"卡亚战神" So, this game is called Mystic Warlords of Ka'a.
很好玩的 It's pretty fun.
里面有六种秘密的战神 There are six kinds of secret warlords...
-秘密的战神 -这是秘密 秘密 - Secret warlords. - It's a secret. Secret.
这是个秘密 It's a secret.
你有发现谢尔顿最近怪怪的吗 Have you noticed anything off with Sheldon?
就是我跟你之间的一件事 Something between me and you.
妈妈知道该知道的就行了 Mom is on a need-to-know basis.
我去看了他的如厕日志 I took a little look in his potty journal.
-这是个秘密 -我发现他有好几天没有上过大号了 - It's a secret. - Several days without a bowel movement.
-谢尔顿 -秘密 秘密 - Sheldon. - Secret. ‭Secret.
-秘密 -谢尔顿 - A secret. - Sheldon.
你有听到我说的话吗 Did you hear anything I said?
抱歉 我刚才在重温一段创伤的经历 Sorry, I was reliving a traumatic experience.
什么意思 What do you mean?
丹 我有个秘密 快把我压垮了 Tam, I have a secret that's weighing on me,
我得说出来 and I need to tell someone.
那告诉我吧 Okay. Tell me.
但我保证过不会说出来 But I promised I wouldn't.
那就别说了 Okay. Then don't.
但我快被逼疯了 But it's driving me crazy.
可惜你不是天主教徒 Too bad you're not Catholic.
不然就可以跟神父告解了 You could confess it to a priest.
这是个好主意 That's a great idea.
你是天主教徒 我向你告解好了 You're Catholic. I'll confess it to you.
但我不是神父 I'm not a priest.
我也不是天主教徒 I'm not a Catholic.
所以这么做完全合理 It makes perfect sense.
好吧 你随时可以开始 Okay, whenever you're ready.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我在进入角色 I'm assuming the position.
好吧 Okay.
原谅我 丹 我有罪 Forgive me, Tam, for I have sinned.
这是我第一次做告解 This is my first confession.
我原谅你 孩子 I forgive you, my son.
我帮爸妈报税时 发现有张支票不见了 I was doing my parents' taxes and noticed a check was missing.
-我去问我爸 -随着我给丹 - I asked my father about it... - As I walked Tam
娓娓道来这件丑事 through the whole sordid affair,
我能感觉到肩头的重担慢慢减轻 I could feel a weight lifting off my shoulders.
终于把内心的秘密说了出来 It was a relief to finally unburden myself
我如释重负 of this deception.
等我把这事说完后 By the time I reached the end,
我仿佛脱胎换骨 I felt like a new person.
整件事就是这样 That's the whole story.
好 能开始玩了吗 Cool. Can we play now?
现在我良心上的巨石放下了 And now that my conscience had been cleared,
结肠里的"巨屎"也要蜂拥而出 my colon was ready to do the same.
不好意思 我要借用一下洗手间 Excuse me. I need to use your bathroom!
谢谢你把床让给我睡 Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed.
我爸说 我们必须以礼待客 My father taught me that we must always honor our guests
给他们最好的款待 and treat them with the utmost courtesy.
越南人很好客 The Vietnamese are a very welcoming people.
是的 但我们越南人也因此吃了亏 Yeah, that hasn't always worked out for us.
你觉得你爸会不会有一天 Do you think your dad would ever ask you
叫你瞒着你妈一件事 to keep a secret from your mom?
不会 Oh, no.
他特别诚实 有时候很烦 He's so honest, it's annoying.
别再聊天了 Enough talking.
赶紧睡觉 Sleep now.
她是全方位烦人 She's just annoying.
你做到了 Well, you did it.
第一次到朋友家过夜怎么样啊 How was your first sleepover?
他们给你吃奇怪的食物了吗 They feed you any weird food?
我在越南时 我们早餐都喝鱼汤 When I was in 'Nam, we ate fish soup for breakfast.
谢尔顿 我在跟你说话 Sheldon, I'm talking to you.
但我不要跟你说话 Well, I'm not talking to you.
怎么了 Okay, what's going on?
我终于睡了这一周以来第一次好觉 After having my first good night's sleep in a week,
我睡醒后有了全新的看法 I woke up with a fresh perspective.
什么看法 And that is...?
你让我背负保密的责任 It was irresponsible of you
是很不负责任的行为 to burden me with that secret.
谢尔顿 我们聊过这个了 Sheldon, we've been through this.
这事很复杂 It's complicated.
虽然我可能没把你当成学术上的榜样 While I may not look up to you from an intellectual standpoint,
但我一直把你视为人生楷模 I've always looked up to you as a role model.
我以后无法这么做了 I can't do that anymore.
别担心 我答应过你 And don't worry-- we made a deal.
我会继续保守你的秘密 I'll continue to keep your secret.
什么事 What's up?
我有件事要告诉你 Um, I need to tell you something.
你搞了什么鬼 What did you do?
谢尔顿给我们计税时 When Sheldon was doing our taxes,
发现少了一张支票 he noticed a missing check.
你到底搞了什么鬼 What did you do?
在我回答前 你是否足够信任我 Before I answer, do you trust me enough
明白我那么做是有好理由的 to understand it was for a good reason
不会再追问细节 and j-just leave it at that?
你究竟搞了什么鬼 What did you do?
都是你妈的错 她这人可坏了 It's all your mother's fault. She is a bad person.
我跟你说了好几年了 I've been telling you for years.
你搞了什么鬼 What did you do?
在我回答之前 Okay, now, before I answer that--
快告诉我你搞了什么鬼 Just tell me what you did.
我被开了酒驾罚单 I got a DWI.
妈妈 Mom!
没有听起来那么严重 It's not as bad as it sounds.
醉驾哪里不严重了 How is driving drunk not bad?
当时其实不是我在开车 I wasn't exactly driving.
我没听懂 I don't follow.
我跟小乔治去看赛狗 I was at the dog track with Georgie,
我喝了几... and I had a few...
小乔治 Georgie?
老天爷作证 With God as my witness,
我这辈子从没去看过赛狗 I've never been to the dog track in my life.
她知道了 She knows.
我去过好多次 Oh, I've been there a bunch.
谁来告诉我到底发生了什么 Will someone please tell me what happened?
好吧 我和姥姥在赛狗场的酒吧里 Okay, me and Meemaw were in the bar at the track...
你居然带他进酒吧 You took him to a bar?
他又没喝酒 He wasn't drinking.
她玛格丽塔酒喝多了 She had a few too many margaritas,
于是由我开车回家 so I drove us home.
但你没有驾照啊 But you don't have a license.
所以我们被交警拦下来后 交换了位置 That's why we swapped places after the cop pulled us over.
我的老天爷 Oh, dear Lord.
这部分不关我的事 I had nothing to do with this part.
闭嘴 Shut up.
已闭 Will do.
我不希望小乔治惹上麻烦 I didn't want Georgie to get into trouble,
所以在警察过来前 so I got behind the wheel
我换到了驾驶位上 before the cop walked up.
然后我被捕了 And then I got arrested, and, uh,
他来保释我 he bailed me out.
你们都觉得这事不该告诉我 So you all thought you should keep this from me?
-当然 -毫无疑问 - Absolutely. ‭- 100%. ‭
好吧 接下来这么办 Okay, here's what's gonna happen:
你和你都到她家去住 you and you are staying at her house
直到我改变主意为止 until I say otherwise.
有人会说我其实在这次事件中是英雄 One could argue I was the hero in this story.
你去赌博 并无证驾驶 You went gambling and you drove without a license
还当着我的面说谎 and you lied to my face.
像个英雄般 Heroically.
滚 Go.
这场大戏的每一部分我都好爱 I love everything about this.
你应该生我气了吧 I'm guessing you're mad at me.
算了吧 Aw, forget about it.
很感谢你没有... I appreciate you not...
抖出我野餐的事 ratting me out about the picnic.
我们说好了的 Well, we had a deal.
再说 你的婚姻已经岌岌可危了 Besides, your marriage is already hanging by a thread.
确实命悬一线 It is dangling there.
好了 我去睡了 All right, well, I'm gonna turn in.
晚安 Good night.
晚安 Night!
喂 Hello?
你听仔细了 So, get a load of this.
上次教会野餐 你老公偷带了六罐啤酒 Last church picnic, your husband snuck in a six-pack,
一个人全喝光了 polished off the whole thing,
然后去排队上厕所 then went to wait in line for the bathroom...
你有新牙刷吗 You got an extra toothbrush?
在水槽底下 亲爱的 Under the sink, darlin'.
谢了 Thanks.
不客气 You got it.
之后这只大猩猩决定不排队了 So then the big gorilla decides he doesn't want to wait in line,
于是他摇晃着跑到教会的菜园 so he stumbles over to the church vegetable garden
好好地灌溉了那块地 and proceeds to irrigate the whole damn thing.
我吃过那里种的蔬菜 I've eaten those vegetables.
祝你睡得香 Sweet dreams.