百万年以前
一个化石的形成 A fossil is formed
是当一个有机体被沉积物 when an organism, preserved in sediment,
通过物理压缩上百万年而保存下来 undergoes physical compression over millions of years.
只有少于十万分之一的 Less than one ten-thousandth percent
有机体会变成化石 of living organisms will become fossils.
是不是很厉害啊 Isn't it amazing
这么脆弱的物体可以在如此低的几率下存活 that something so fragile can defy those odds,
只为了让自己能遭受如此待遇 only to have this happen to it...
我觉得你没做对 I don't think you did that right.
好啦各位 All right, everyone,
我们明天再继续 如果我们运气好 we'll pick it up here tomorrow. I-If we're lucky,
我们能找到跟食堂大妈菲利丝一样老的化石 we may find a fossil as old as lunch lady Phyllis.
你们这些小兔崽子不懂什么好笑 You people don't know what's funny.
库珀 Cooper!
你能帮我把这个拿去放好吗 Will you put these away for me?
没问题 Sure.
你招子给我放亮点 You better watch yourself.
我会 我会的 I will, I-I really will.
你知道你不识相的话会发生什么事吧 'Cause you know what's gonna happen if you don't.
那是谁啊 Who was that?
没谁 No one.
他为什么推你 Why did he push you?
不关你的事 None of your business.
但他很明显违反了校规啊 But that was a clear violation of the student code of conduct.
我们得去告他状 We need to tell on him.
我们不去告谁状 别多事 We're not telling on anyone, stay out of it.
但校规... But the student code of conduct...
别插手 Drop it.
所以我没插手 So I did drop it...
整整6分钟 for six whole minutes.
先生 抱歉打扰了 Excuse me, sir.
当你小便完 我想问问你 When you're done urinating, I'd like to ask you
有关一些社交上的问题 比如恐吓 some questions about social dynamics, intimidation,
威胁之类的事情 threats, et cetera.
您慢尿 不着急 Finish up, no hurry.
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪ ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少 年
谢尔顿
你找我有啥事 What is your problem?
我没有什么事 Oh, I don't have a problem.
你应该洗一下手 You should probably wash your hands.
我刚才目睹了你与小乔治·库珀有些争执 I just witnessed an altercation between you and Georgie Cooper.
争执 Altercation?
对峙 争斗 总而言之 A confrontation, a tussle. Anyway,
我想要搜集一些资料 I'd just like to gather more information
纯属社会学研究用途 for sociological purposes.
我听说过你 你是那个小天才 Oh, I heard about you, you're that smart kid.
我虽然很想谦虚一下 但是的 正是在下 I'd like to be humble in this moment, but yes, that's me.
谢尔顿·库珀 恭候大驾 Sheldon Cooper, at your service.
-所以小乔治是你哥哥 -是的 - So Georgie's your brother? - Correct.
你是想来保护他吗 And you're trying to protect him?
错了 我只是好奇他是哪里引起了你的愤怒 Incorrect. I'm just curious what he did to incur your wrath.
另外 你手洗得很干净 很棒 Also, kudos on the hand washing.
你哥就是个小瘪三 Your brother's a punk.
我对这词不太熟悉 I'm not familiar with that terminology.
他想泡我女朋友 He tried to hit on my girlfriend.
有意思 所以他公开追求你的伴侣 Interesting. So he openly pursued your mate,
而你为了维护主权 and to re-assert dominance,
你通过肢体暴力威慑他 you threatened him with physical violence.
老子就是这意思 Hell yeah, I did.
我理解 I understand that.
我也常用智力来威慑别人 I often intimidate people with my intelligence.
我们其中一个人吓跑了他 Well, one of us scared him.
好了 All right.
下一位 米希·库珀 Next. Missy Cooper.
我先提醒一下 这面是我上相的那面 Just a heads-up, this is my good side.
好吧 Okay...
你的父母知道你化妆了吗 Do your parents know you're wearing that makeup?
知道 我妈妈知道 Oh, yeah, my mom knows.
你确定吗 因为正常来说是不允许的 You sure? Because typically it's not allowed.
你要是不相信 你可以去问她 If you don't believe me, you can ask her.
行 我去给她打个电话 Okay, we're gonna give her a call.
不是吧 Really?
好消息 我刚跟汤米·克拉克森谈过了 Good news, I just spoke to Tommy Clarkson.
什么 你疯啦 What? Are you crazy?
不疯 妈带我去检查过了 Nope, Mom had me tested.
其实汤米人比你想象中好多了 And Tommy's actually nicer than you think.
我叫你别插手了 I told you to stay out of it.
的确 但你没跟我说过 True, but what you didn't tell me
你对人家女朋友过分亲密 was that you were overly chummy with his girlfriend,
这导致了他想踹你的屁屁 which is why he wants to kick your bottom.
我也马上要踹你的屁屁了 I'm about to kick your bottom.
恕我不同意 I don't think so.
你好啊 汤米 H-Hey, Tommy.
你好吗 How you doing?
你对他有意见 就是对我有意见 You got a problem with him, you got a problem with me.
我来理一下逻辑 And just to make his logic clear,
你的确对我有意见 you do have a problem with me.
别听我弟弟说的话 我对任何人都没意见 Don't listen to my brother, I don't have a problem with anybody.
你得道歉 You need to apologize.
我很对不起 I-I'm very sorry.
对他道歉 To him.
我很对不起 谢尔顿 I'm very sorry, Sheldon.
再见啦 小伙子 Later, kid.
你看 他人很好 See? He's nice.
你都在想什么呢 What were you even thinking?
我想看起来漂亮 I was thinking I look hot.
你知道你不准化妆 You know you're not allowed to wear makeup.
所以我没告诉你啊 That's why I didn't tell you.
谁给你的 海瑟一号 还是海瑟二号 And who gave it to you? Heather B.? Heather M.?
姥姥 Meemaw.
所以你姥姥统一你在学校照片上 So your grandmother was okay with you looking like this
看起来是这副样子 in your school pictures?
你要是不信我 就去问她啊 If you don't believe me, ask her.
我绝对要问 Oh, I'm going to.
不是吧 Really?
他们是原告 These are the plaintiffs,
瓦莱丽与安东尼·锡尼什 Valerie and Anthony Sines.
瓦莱丽表示她当时正与自己的猫斯坎皮 Valerie claims she was sitting on the front steps
坐在自己公寓的前廊 of her condo with her cat Scampi,
就是那时安东尼的狗冲上去弄伤了她 and that's when his dog went after Scampi, injuring her.
-你在看什么 -你走开 - What are you watching? - ‭Go away.
你在生我气吗 Are you angry with me?
我现在不想看到你 I don't want to see your face right now.
没问题 但我现在想看《质子教授》 Very well, but I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
你听到我说的话了吗 走开 Did you hear me? Go away.
那你听到我说的话了吗 Well, did you hear me?
我想看《质子教授》 I'd like to watch Professor Proton.
-怪我咯 -有意思 - Too bad. ‭- Interesting.
不知道我的新朋友汤米·克拉克森 I wonder how my new friend Tommy Clarkson
对此事会有何看法 would feel about this.
他现在不在这里是吧 Well, he's not here, is he?
他的确是不在 No, he's not.
那看来我只能打个电话给他了 I guess I'll just have to call him.
你不是吧 You're kidding.
准备好转到《质子教授》的台了吗 Are you ready to put on Professor Proton?
我不 No.
行行行 Okay, okay.
谢谢 Thank you.
我没听到你说"不客气" I didn't hear a "You're welcome."
闭嘴啦 Shut up!
这方面以后再慢慢加强 We'll work on that.
科学的时刻到啦 It's time for science!
你们好啊 ‭Hello.
看起来真像麦当娜啊 Well, don't you look like Madonna?
谢谢 Thank you.
我其实是在画成你 I was actually trying to look like you.
谢谢 Thank you.
你为什么不先跟我说就给她化妆品 Why would you give her makeup without talking to me first?
我没给她化妆品啊 I didn't give her any makeup.
你们其中有一个人在说谎 Well, then, one of you is lying.
-是她 -是她 - She is. - She is.
是时候说实话了 小妞 Time to come clean little lady.
我才不要帮你挡这一枪 I ain't taking the hit on this one.
我从姥姥的手袋里拿的化妆品 I took the makeup from Meemaw's bag.
米希 你摊上事儿了 Oh, Missy, you are in a world of trouble.
冷静 哪是什么大事 Calm down, it's not that big a deal.
事儿可大了 It is so a big deal!
她偷你东西 还撒谎 She stole from you, and then she lied about it.
我知道 但拜托 她才十岁 I know, but come on, she's only ten.
等她再大一点 她会做更蠢的事情 She's gonna do way stupider stuff when she's older.
肯定会 Guaranteed.
我才不管 I don't care.
她是我女儿 你一定会受惩罚 She is my daughter and you will be punished.
抱歉啦 孩子 Sorry, kid.
真希望我是你的女儿 I wish I was your daughter.
是吗 Is that so?
那这样吧 Well, guess what?
你今晚就在这过夜 You're sleeping here tonight
因为我不想看到你们俩任何一个 because I don't feel like being around either one of you.
太好啦 Great!
对啊 太好啦 Yeah, great.
小乔治 当个好人 帮我拿个巧克力饮料 Georgie, be a lamb and get me a Yoo-hoo.
自己拿 Get your own.
你确定你要用这种语气跟我说话吗 Hmm. Are you sure you want to speak to me in that tone of voice?
谢尔顿 我快受够了 Sheldon, I'm getting real tired of this.
那可惜了 我还挺享受呢 That's too bad. I'm enjoying it quite a bit.
还在等我的饮料呢 Still waiting on that Yoo-hoo.
你现在觉得自己是狠角色了是吧 You think you're so tough now,
我发誓 有一天我一定要... I swear, one day I'm...
怎么回事 Hey. What's going on?
谢尔顿在耍贱 Sheldon's being a jerk.
是这样吗 That true?
我只请他帮我拿了瓶饮料 All I did was ask for a Yoo-hoo.
他没说他还... He's leaving out the part where he...
算了 Forget it.
很好 那没事啦 Great. Done.
小乔治 我不想再重复多说 Georgie, at the risk of repeating myself...
记得拿放后面的 比较凉 And one from the back, so it's cold.
所以你是什么时候偷我的化妆品的 So when, exactly, did you swipe my makeup?
你去打保龄球的时候 While you were at bowling league.
你没有我家的钥匙啊 You don't have a key to this house.
你怎么进来的 How'd you get in?
不能告诉你 Can't tell you that.
我可能还要用这招 I might need to do it again.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
提醒你一下 不要刷太多腮红 And for future reference, go lighter on the blush,
否则你会像破烂娃娃安 or you'll end up looking like Raggedy Ann.
她让破烂娃娃安迪看起来这个样子 She got Raggedy Andy looking like that.
他是她的兄弟 He's her brother. ‭
那看来我一直玩错这些娃娃了 I've been playing with those dolls all wrong.
好的 可以了 All right, that'll do it.
妈妈几岁时 你允许她化妆 How old was Mom when you let her wear makeup?
我不知道 我没有那方面的规矩 I don't know, I didn't really have rules like that.
瞧 为什么你这么酷 而她是个老古板 See? How come you're so cool and she's such a dud?
我可不会说她古板 Well, I wouldn't call her a dud.
你会叫她什么 What would you call her?
重点是 她并不是一直这样 Point is, she wasn't always like that.
她以前是什么样 What was she like?
她还是少女时 相当叛逆 When she was a teenager, she was just wild.
-真的吗 -是的 - Really? - ‭Oh, yeah.
她总是等到我睡着了 She used to wait until I went to sleep
溜出家门 and then she would sneak out
和朋友一起闯祸 and get into trouble with her friends.
-我妈 -你妈 - My mom? - ‭Your mom.
然后她会爬树 And then she would climb up the tree
溜回房间 on the side of the house and sneak back in.
厉害 Amazing.
你是这样进来的吗 Is that how you're getting in?
我永远不会告诉你 I will never tell you that.
还好吗 Everything okay?
我已经厌倦了做坏人 I'm getting tired of being the bad guy around here.
你不是坏人 You're not the bad guy.
孩子们需要规矩 Kids need boundaries.
你说起来容易 只有我去执行规矩 That is easy for you to say. I am the only one doing it,
所以大家都讨厌我 and then everyone resents me for it.
不是只有你 Hey, you're not the only one.
今天 小乔治和谢尔顿吵架 Just today, Georgie and Sheldon were fighting,
我搞定了 and I totally took care of it.
是吗 出什么事了 Really? What was going on?
他们... 男孩的事 They... you know, boy stuff.
我 I...
别担心 有我挺你 Don't worry. I got your back.
谢谢你 意义重大 Thank you. That means a lot.
团队合作 亲爱的 Teamwork, babe.
看 就在 Look, right...
这里 here.
这是我妈吗 That's my mom?
小小的黑暗女王 Yep, the little queen of darkness.
她在抽烟吗 Is she smoking a cigarette?
对 很可能是偷我的 Yep. Probably stole it from me.
她什么时候不再这么酷了 When did she stop being cool?
首先 抽烟并不酷 Well, first of all, smoking is not cool.
-你抽烟 -对 下次 - You do it. - ‭Yeah, well, next time
我从肺里咳出黑色粘液时 I'm hocking up some black goo out of my lung,
我可以叫你来看看有多酷 I'll call you over and you can see how cool it is.
-厉害 -一点也不厉害 - Awesome. - It is not awesome.
至于你妈妈 她的转变 And as far as your mom, I think things started
是从生你时开始的 to turn around for her when she gave birth to you.
你是说生我和谢尔顿 You mean me and Sheldon.
不 我是说你 No, I mean you.
谢尔顿出生时没事 但你则不同了 I mean, Sheldon was born fine, but you were a different story.
为什么 Why?
好吧 Okay.
有那么一会儿 医生不知道 Well, there was a point where the doctors didn't know
你能否活下来 if you were gonna make it.
你妈非常害怕 她对上帝发誓 And your mom got so scared, and she made a promise to God
如果你没事 她会开始读《圣经》 that if you were okay, that she would start reading the Bible,
去教堂 going to church...
反正就是那些事 you know, that kind of stuff.
我是她成为老古板的原因 So I'm the reason she's a dud?
你应该领悟的是 Your takeaway should be
你是她成为好妈妈的原因 她的确是好妈妈 that you are the reason she's such a good mom, which she is.
你下次伤害她的感情时 And the next time you hurt her feelings--
而你一定会的 which you will--
你最好记得你对她来说有多重要 you might remember how much you mean to her.
现在我内疚了 Now I feel bad.
很好 Good.
我和汤米是朋友的消息 News of my friendship with Tommy
显然已经传了 had apparently spread.
以至于 全体学生终于 So much so, the student body was finally
给了我我应得的尊重 treating me with the respect I deserved,
哪怕汤米不在的时候 even when Tommy wasn't around.
这肯定就是卡尔·萨根 This must be how Carl Sagan felt,
知名天文学 天体物理学 科幻作家
走过公共广播公司走廊的感觉 walking through the halls of PBS.
就像超人在电话亭变装一样 Like Superman in a phone booth,
我也总是躲在体育馆储物柜里更衣 I was no stranger to undressing in my gym locker.
但今天不是 But not today.
多亏了汤米 我无人可敌 Thanks to Tommy, I was invincible.
好了 大家快去体育馆 All right, get your butts out to the gym.
一分钟后冲刺跑 Wind sprints in one minute.
拜托 杰森 我快迟到了 Come on, Jason, I'm gonna be late.
可怜的孩子 Poor baby.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
我想问你一些关于 I'd like to ask you some questions
你通过恐吓来支配他人的问题 about your use of intimidation to dominate others.
你是想被揍吗 Are you trying to get your ass kicked?
不 我只是想展开一段精彩的对话 No, I was just looking to open a spirited dialogue.
而且你最好放开我 And you might want to unhand me.
我是汤米·克拉克森的朋友 I'm friends with Tommy Clarkson.
是这样吗 Is that so?
是的 Yes.
你好 汤米 Hello, Tommy.
我有些不幸的消息 I have some unfortunate news.
-什么事 -我向杰森·戴维夸口你是我的朋友 - What's that? ‭- I boasted to Jason Davies that you're my friend,
结果令人意外 and things took an unexpected turn.
你被安排在下午3点和他在篮球场打架 You're scheduled to fight him at 3:00 P.M. on the basketball court.
我不想和杰森·戴维打架 I don't want to fight Jason Davies.
我想你别无选择 他语气挺坚定 I don't think you have a choice. He was pretty adamant.
好 我去解决 Fine, I'll deal with it.
你可以选择不去 You do have the option of simply not showing up.
打架的规矩不是这样的 谢尔顿 That's not how fights work, Sheldon.
为什么 要计考勤吗 Why? Do they take attendance?
你对米希说了什么 What on Earth did you say to Missy?
-怎么了 她又做了什么 -没什么 - Why? What'd she do now? - Nothing,
她乖得像天使 she was an angel.
我送她上学 I dropped her off at school,
她在朋友面前拥抱我 and she hugged me in front of her friends.
-是吗 -不只是普通朋友 - Really? - ‭And not just any friends.
海瑟二号在场 这可是大事 Heather M. Was there, and that is a big deal.
我只是给了她一点人生建议 I just gave her a little life advice.
怎么说 Like what?
没什么 只是姥姥说的话 Nothing, just grandma stuff.
又来了 你做好人 There you go again, being the good guy.
玛丽 你要知道 Mary, you need to know
你把孩子们教育得很好 you're doing a fantastic job with those kids.
你是真心的吗 You really mean that?
-是的 -谢谢 - I really do. - ‭Thanks.
我都不记得上次有人说我是好妈妈是什么时候了 I can't remember the last time someone said I was a good mom.
做母亲不是会经常得到表扬的工作 It's not a job that gets a lot of compliments.
看 我妈给我留了字条 Look at this, my mother left me a note.
"你可以做得更好 妈妈留" "You can do better. Mom."
不是"爱你的妈妈" 不是"拥抱亲亲 妈妈" Not "Love, Mom," not "XO, Mom,"
只有"妈妈" just "Mom."
丹说着关于家人的狗屁时 While Tam prattled on about some family nonsense,
我忍不住想到汤米 I couldn't help but think about Tommy.
下午3点 他将参加一场校园战役 at 3:00 pm, he was going to engage in a schoolyard battle
而且全是我害的 that was entirely my fault.
我必须想办法调停 但怎么做呢 I had to find a way to intervene, but how?
奶油饼干 Ooh, a Nutter Butter.
也许她真的爱我 Maybe she does love me.
加油 杰森 揍死他 Come on, Jason. Kick his ass.
我没有能够帮助汤米打架的身材 I didn't have the physical stature to assist Tommy in a brawl,
但我有更致命的东西 but I did have something far more lethal:
我那划时代的大脑 my once in a generation brain.
科学教室
打 打 打 打... Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
没想到你敢来 I didn't think you'd show up.
我来了 Well, I did.
来吧 Let's do this.
住手 Stop!
你不和汤米打 你和我打 You're not fighting Tommy, you're fighting me.
天啊 Oh, boy.
除非你愿意握手 Unless you want to shake hands
喝一杯牛奶 大家一笑置之 and we all laugh about this over a glass of milk.
我更愿意揍你们两个 I think I'd rather kick both your asses.
我就担心你这样说 I was afraid you'd say that.
你知道《圣经》中 Are you familiar with the story
大卫和哥利亚的故事吗 of David and Goliath from the Bible?
知道 Yeah.
太遗憾了 That's too bad.
我本来准备了精彩的演讲 I had a nice speech prepared.
我还是说吧 I'll say it anyway.
虽然你在体形上有优势 You may have the size advantage,
但和有投石器的大卫一样 but like David and his sling,
我也有空基武器 I also possess an air-based weapon.
所以我再给你一次机会 So I'll give you one more chance.
你愿意停手吗 Are you willing to step down?
我跟你说 I'll tell you what:
你先射 然后到我 you take the first shot, then it's my turn.
好的 Very well.
三 Three...
二 ...two...
一 ...one.
你娘的 Ow! Son of a bitch!
我要跑了 I'm going to run.
传统智慧告诉我们 Conventional wisdom tells us
当有人起身对抗霸凌者时 that when one stands up to a bully,
霸凌者必然退却 并尊重你的勇气 the bully will inevitably back down and respect you for your courage.
我的经历不是这样 My experience suggests otherwise.
有人吗 有人吗 Hello? Hello?
当杰森最终抓到我时 When Jason finally caught me,
他还算理智 没有犯下暴力殴打罪 he had the good sense not to commit assault and battery.
但也没能阻止他 This did not, however, prevent him
把我关在他的储物柜里 from imprisoning me in his locker.
有人吗 Anybody?
那是漫长的一夜 That was a very long night.
这里面好臭 It doesn't smell good in here.
非常漫长 Very long.