-亚比该·贝克 -到 - Abigail Baker? - Here.
小乔治·库珀 Georgie Cooper?
到 Here.
谢尔顿·库珀 Sheldon Cooper?
小乔治 你弟弟呢 Georgie, where's your brother?
我不知道 I don't know.
太好了 梅利莎·狄克逊 Good enough for me. Melissa Dixon?
鉴于我不再学习斯特吉斯博士的大学课程 Since I no longer had a college class with Dr. Sturgis
迸发我智慧的火花 to stoke my intellectual fire,
我需要再找个人 I needed to find someone else
一个有资格做我导师的人 who was up to the task of being my mentor.
一个有伟大头脑的人 A great mind.
一位百年一遇的思想家 A once-in-a-generation thinker.
幸运的是 我有的是时间 Fortunately, my schedule was wide open.
开始上课 School's in session.
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪ ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少 年
谢尔顿
第三季 第二集
少 年
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少 年
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本集字幕参考了谢耳朵字幕组版本 在此致谢
杰夫牧师 这里需要签个名... Pastor Jeff, I just need your signature...
噢 不好意思 Oh. Uh, sorry.
我不知道你有客人 I didn't realize you had a guest.
没关系 你还记得罗宾吧 It's quite all right. You remember Robin?
当然 Of course.
-很高兴再次见到你 -我也是 - So nice to see you again. - You, too.
我无意打扰 Well, I don't want to interrupt.
我正要走呢 Actually, I was just fixin' to head out.
-已经要走了吗 -是啊 - Already? - Yeah.
我昨天对一只麝鼠开了一枪 Discharged my firearm at a muskrat yesterday.
要填很多文书 Lot of paperwork.
晚点见 See you soon?
晚点见 Yes, you will.
-再见 库珀夫人 -再见 - Bye, Mrs. Cooper. - Bye.
进展得不错啊 That seems to be going well.
进展得非常好 It's going really well.
我太喜欢她了 I like her so much.
那怎么感觉你不大高兴呢 Why do you sound sad about it?
我不好意思大声说出来 Well, this is hard for me to say out loud.
但是我在她身边的时候 But when I'm around her,
我发现我有一些... I find myself having...
你懂的 You know.
我不懂 I don't know.
男人的想法 Man thoughts.
噢 但你是牧师啊 Oh. But... You're the pastor.
你不能做那些事 You can't act on those.
所以我很伤心 Hence my sadness.
那你要怎么办 What are you gonna do?
我不知道 I'm not sure.
我不能在神圣的婚姻关系之外 I can't engage in a physical relationship
发生肉体关系 outside of holy matrimony.
是吧 Right?
-是啊 -是啊 - Right. - Right.
《万有引力与时空》
溶液是一种包含溶质和溶剂的 A solution is a homogenous mixture
均质混合物 consisting of a solute and a solvent.
溶质是被溶解的物质... The solute is the substance that is being dissolved...
a的平方加b的平方等于... A squared plus b squared equals...?
托尔斯泰《战争与和平》
然后杰夫牧师让我提醒他 And pastor Jeff asked me
他身上的责任 to hold him accountable
这样他就不会屈从于诱惑 so he doesn't succumb to temptation.
你能做什么啊 Well, how can you do the heck?
我不知道 I'm not sure.
也许应该时不时用嫌弃的眼神看他 Probably have to give him the stink eye every so often.
牧师以前结过婚 The pastor's been married before.
这件事有这么严重吗 Is it really that big a deal?
是的 圣经里很明确地说了 Yes, George. It states very clearly in the Bible:
"你们心里不应该有一丝 "Among you there must not be even a hint of...
淫乱的性" Sexual Immorality."
这本书有时候真是扫兴 That book is a bummer sometimes.
这不是玩笑 It's no joke.
他可能会丢掉工作 He could lose his job.
我想我就是理解不了 I guess I just don't get it.
大概因为你只有在烤饼义卖的时候 Maybe because you only go to church
才去教堂吧 when there's a bake sale.
-你这么说很不好哎 -这是实话 - That's not nice. - It's true.
那也没好到哪去 Doesn't make it nice.
谢尔顿还好吗 Everything all right with Sheldon?
你有多长时间听我唠叨 How much time you got?
-怎么了 -他从周一开始就没去上过体育课 - Why? - Hasn't been in P.E. Since Monday.
真的 Really?
他来了啊 我开车送他来的 He's here. I drove him.
你去看过那些他经常被塞的地方了吗 You check the places they like to stuff him?
储物柜 垃圾箱 Lockers, trash cans,
我们放橄榄球的袋子 those bags we put the footballs in.
都没有 Nothing.
-旗杆顶上呢 -没有 - Top of the flagpole? - Nope.
嗨 休伯特 Hey, Hubert.
谢尔顿今天来上课了吗 Was Sheldon in class today?
没有 这周都没见到他 Nope. Haven't seen him all week.
你不准备告诉我吗 Weren't you gonna say anything?
我可不想触霉头 I didn't want to jinx it.
所以他也没上你们的课 So he hasn't been in any of your classes?
-没来 -没有 - Mm-mm, not a one. - Nope.
但是我载他过来了 But I bring him here,
又载他回家 I take him home...
他肯定在楼里的某个地方 He's got to be somewhere in the building.
我今天可能在图书馆见到他了 Mm, I might've seen him in the library.
但我有时候自己在家 But at this point, I sometimes think
都觉得看到他了 I see him when I'm alone in my house.
就像恐怖片里的鬼娃恰奇吗 Like that creepy Chucky doll in the movies?
没错 Exactly!
嗨 丹 我找不到谢尔顿了 Hey, Tam. I can't find Sheldon.
你知道他在哪吗 You know where he is?
我答应他保密了 I promised not to say.
丹 Tam...
你走运了 我很软弱 Lucky for you I'm weak.
你在逗我吗 Are you kidding me?
我就知道丹太软弱了 I knew Tam was weak.
你以为你在干什么 What do you think you're doing?
我在研究法国入侵 Exploring the impact of the French invasion
对俄国帝国社会的影响 on imperial Russian society.
你给我出来 Well, get out of here.
回去上课 You're going back to class.
我不去 No, I'm not.
你说什么 Excuse me?
我在课堂上什么都学不到 I don't learn anything in class.
但是在这里我可以自学 But in here I've taught myself the applications
引力透镜的应用 of gravitational lensing,
法拉第磁感应定律 Faraday's law of magnetic induction,
以及如何吹口哨 and how to whistle.
呃 昨天吹出声了 Well, sound came out yesterday.
你不能整天待在杂物间啊 Y-you can't spend your day in a broom closet.
这已经不是杂物间了 It's no longer a broom closet.
这里现在是高等教育的城堡 It's now a citadel of higher learning.
哪一件能体现出"罗宾 我喜欢你" Which one says "Robin, I like you"
又能体现出"上帝看着呢 but also says "God is watching,
冷静点" be cool"?
蓝色的 The blue one.
玛丽 你丈夫来电话了 Mary, your husband's on the line.
-不好意思 -嗯 蓝色的 - Excuse me. - Yeah, blue.
当然是蓝色的 Definitely blue.
但是吧 Although...
怎么了 Everything okay?
谢尔顿把自己关在杂物间里 Sheldon locked himself in a broom closet,
他拒绝去上课 and he's refusing to go to class.
他在杂物间做什么 What's he doing in a closet?
学关于俄国的东西 Apparently, learning about Russia.
那你想让我做什么 Well, what do you want me to do?
我想让你过来处理一下 I want you to handle it.
你就在那呢 为什么你不能处理一下 You're right there... Why can't you handle it?
-因为我在工作 -我也在工作 - 'Cause I'm at work. - So am I.
你知道我什么意思 You know what I mean.
你是说你有正经工作 我没有吗 That you have a real job and I don't?
玛丽 我还有十分钟就要橄榄球训练了 Mary, I have football practice in ten minutes, and I...
我没时间处理这件事 I don't have time to deal with this.
但你必须得处理了 因为我很忙 Well, you're gonna have to, 'cause I'm busy.
干得漂亮 姐妹 You tell him, sister.
这条波洛领带太性感了 是吧 The bolo tie's too sexy, right?
我就知道 Knew it.
你高兴了吗 我和你妈妈现在吵架了 Hope you're happy... your mother and I are fighting now!
这有个杂物间... 我儿子把它当城堡了 There's a closet, it... My son made a citadel.
当我没说 Never mind.
-谢尔顿 回你屋里去 -很乐意 - Sheldon, go to your room. - Gladly.
他会在里面看书的 He's just gonna read in there.
要是我就禁止他看《质子教授》 I'd take away Professor Proton.
不关你的事 Stay out of this.
不许再看《质子教授》 No more Professor Proton!
这就对了 That's how you do it.
我真不敢相信你居然没让他回去上课 I can't believe you didn't make him go to class.
你让我自己处理的 我处理了 You told me to handle it. I handled it.
这事怪你 That one's on you.
你没处理 你什么都没做 You didn't handle it. You didn't do anything.
我得去训练 所以我做了个决定 I had to get to practice, and I made a decision.
他在学校里 很安全 而且还在学习 He was in the building, he was safe, and he was learning.
如果他一直自己待着 He is never gonna improve his social skills
就永远也没机会提升社交技能 if he's sitting all alone.
他必须和人相处 He has to be around people.
听起来你知道他需要什么 你去解决吧 Sounds like you know what he needs... go fix it.
因为什么事都要我做 是不是 'Cause I have to do everything, right?
喔 某人今晚要睡沙发了 Oh. Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight.
你给我出去 Get out of here!
也许谢尔顿这样 Well, maybe Shel is just acting out
是因为他不能再去大学上课了 'cause he doesn't have his college class to go to anymore.
我可以问问约翰的教授朋友 I could ask John's professor friend.
没准他会让他去听课 Maybe he'd let him sit in on a class.
你怎么现在才说 And you are just bringing this up now?
我本来可以早点说 I would've said something earlier,
只是我喜欢看你们打架 but I was enjoying the fight.
你好 Hello?
你好 林克莱特博士 Hi, Dr. Linkletter.
-我是康妮·塔克 -康妮 - It's Connie Tucker. - Connie.
何等荣幸接到你的电话 To what do I owe the pleasure?
-我需要你帮个忙 -当然了 什么事都行 - I need a favor. - Of course. Anything.
我们可以边吃晚饭边说吗 Should we discuss it over dinner?
晚饭改天再说 I'll take a rain check on that.
我在想 I was hoping
我外孙能不能去上你的物理课 that my grandson could join in your physics class
在约翰... until John is, uh...
回来之前 Back.
从精神病院出来之前 From the mental hospital?
是的 Yes.
他从没告诉过你 他以前就住过的精神病院 The one he never told you he'd been in before?
是的 Yes.
要我说 他这么做很不道德 A curious ethical choice on his part, if you ask me.
他能不能上你的课 Can he take the class or not?
当然可以 Of course.
不过我从来没教过小孩 Although, I never taught a child before.
他受过如厕训练吗 Is he potty-trained?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
在我脑海里看上周的《质子教授》 Watching last week's Professor Proton in my mind.
小甜饼 Moon pie?
好消息 Good news.
你又可以去上你的大学课程了 You could start going to your college class again.
斯特吉斯博士回来了吗 Dr. Sturgis is back?
没有 但是他的朋友林克莱特博士 No, but his friend Dr. Linkletter
同意你上他的课 is gonna let you come and take his class.
但我上的是斯特吉斯博士的课 But I take Dr. Sturgis's class.
我知道 但现在上不了 I know, but that's not an option right now,
而且林克莱特博士很好心 and Dr. Linkletter's been nice enough to...
同意你上他的课 to let you sit in on his.
但我喜欢斯特吉斯博士的授课方式 But I like the way that Dr. Sturgis teaches.
你也许会更喜欢 Well, you might like the way
林克莱特博士的授课方式 that Dr. Linkletter teaches even better.
-是讲座型课程吗 -我不知道 - Is it lecture-based? - I don't know.
他对量子力学的理解是什么 What's his interpretation of quantum mechanics?
-我说不上来 -他在哪里拿的博士学位 - I couldn't say. - Where'd he get his doctorate?
在"闭嘴说谢谢"大学 From the university of shut up and say thank you.
谢谢 Thank you.
我以为你会把垃圾扔了 I thought you were gonna take out the garbage.
对不起 我还以为 I'm sorry. I was under the impression
这里什么事都是你做的 you did everything around here.
你真的又想为这事吵一架 You really want to start this again?
我做的事情也很多 I contribute plenty,
你稍微表示下感激也不会死啊 and it wouldn't kill you to show a little appreciation.
我会表示的 等我洗完衣服 I'll be sure to do that... As soon as I finish
收拾完碗筷 打扫完家里 the laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming,
买完菜 辅导米希写完作业 the grocery shopping and helping Missy with her homework.
你知道家里的账单都是我的工资在付吧 You like how my job pays for all the bills, right?
别表现得好像这个家只有你有工作 Stop acting like you're the only one with a job.
妈妈 杰夫牧师的电话 Mom! Pastor Jeff's on the phone.
这个我必须要接 I have to take this.
当然了 'Course you do.
你好 杰夫牧师 Hi, pastor Jeff.
怎么了 Everything okay?
我遇上麻烦了 I'm in trouble.
罗宾刚到 Robin just got here.
她看起来很美 闻起来更美 She looks nice, and she smells even nicer.
拜托 Come on, now.
没有什么比永久的救赎更好闻 Uh, nothing smells better than eternal salvation.
我知道 但我们花太多时间考虑我的穿着 I know. But we put so much thought into my clothes,
完全没考虑到她会穿什么 we didn't even think about what she'd be wearing.
怎么了 Why?
她穿了什么 What's she wearing?
小乔治 你赶紧把电话挂了 Georgie, you hang up that phone right now!
我怎么做都不对 I-I just can't win.
我插手的话 我做的方式不对 When I step in, I'm doing it wrong,
我不插手的话 她又吼我 and when I don't step in, she yells at me.
我懂你 I hear you.
所以达琳对你也这样吗 So Darlene does the same thing with you?
不会 但如果她那样我也不会喜欢的 No. But I'd hate it if she did.
听起来糟透了 That sounds awful.
那你们俩都因为什么吵架 So, what do you two fight about?
都是小事 You know, normal stuff.
谁更爱谁 Who loves the other one more.
轮到谁给谁捏脚 Whose turn it is for a foot rub.
有一天 我们因为 Oh, the other day, we did argue about
厕纸应该怎么挂吵起来了 which way the toilet paper should hang.
谁赢了 Who won?
我想不起来了 I don't remember.
我们最后在浴室地板上行房了 We just ended up making love on the bathroom floor.
谢谢你 韦恩 真是帮大忙了 Thank you, Wayne. This has been real helpful.
你上次带玛丽出去约会是什么时候 When was the last time you took Mary out on a date?
我都想不起来了 I couldn't even tell you.
可怜的女人 That poor woman.
你应该站在我这边的 You're supposed to be on my side.
我也想站你这边啊 I'd like to be.
但你没给我机会 But you're not giving me much to work with.
闻起来 你喝得很愉快啊 Smells like you had a good time.
周五晚上你想共进晚餐吗 How'd you like to go out for dinner on Friday?
就我们俩 Just you and me.
为什么 Why?
因为你是我老婆 'Cause you're my wife.
我上周五也是你老婆 我们也没出去吃 I was your wife last Friday, and we didn't go to dinner.
玛丽 我在邀请你跟我出去约会 Mary, I'm asking you on a date.
好吧 Okay.
这是答应了吗 Is that a yes?
当然 Sure.
那好 All right, then.
如果你干了什么蠢事 我迟早会发现的 If you did something stupid, I'm gonna find out.
同样的教室 不同的老师 Same room. Different teacher.
同样都是晚上 不同的时间 Same night. Different time.
真像过山车一样 This is a real roller coaster.
-是的 很刺激 -康妮 - Yeah, it's wild. - Connie.
很高兴见到你 So nice to see you.
见到你也很高兴 谢尔顿 Nice to see you, too. Sheldon,
-这是林克莱特博士 -你好 - This is Dr. Linkletter. - Hello.
我听过很多关于你的事 I've heard so much about you.
显然不包括我对握手的看法 Apparently not how I feel about shaking hands.
这个有趣的小事 我让你自己处理哦 And on that fun note, I'll leave you to it.
你确定你不留下来一起听吗 Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay for the lecture?
不用了 Oh, no, bad idea.
他们说我会打呼噜 I'm told I snore.
亲爱的 如果你需要我 我就在外面走廊 Darling, I'll be out in the hall if you need me.
给你提个醒 Just a warning:
今晚的课程非常难 Today's lecture is rather advanced.
别担心 如果你有疑惑 Don't worry. If you get confused,
我就坐在第一排 I'll be right here in the front row.
真不错呀 是吧 So, this is nice, huh?
是啊 Yes.
水里还有柠檬 Lemon in the water.
看菜单都不用去想谢尔顿不吃什么 It's weird to look at a menu and not have to wonder
感觉都有点不习惯 what Sheldon won't eat.
他把不吃的东西打印成卡片放我钱包里 可轻松多了 I-it got easier when he printed that card for my wallet.
我现在都不知道他去哪弄的塑封膜 Still don't know where he got that laminated.
是啊 Yeah.
我们二人世界呢 It's just the two of us.
就别聊孩子们了 We don't have to talk about the kids.
你说的对 You're right.
小乔治和米希 You don't think Georgie and Missy
应该不会在家做什么蠢事吧 are doing anything stupid, do you?
妈妈要是知道家里有这东西 If mom knew this was in the house,
肯定会疯的 she'd lose her mind.
是啊 妈妈可不喜欢恶魔 I know. Mom does not like demons.
所以这是怎么玩的 So, how does it work?
你把指尖像这样放上去 You put your fingertips on it like this,
接着问问题 and you ask it questions.
超脱于凡尘俗世的魂灵 Then the spirits from beyond
会指引你在板子上移动 并且回答你的问题 will move you around the board and answer them.
我们试试吧 Let's try it.
好吧 Okay.
杰夫牧师在主日学校说过这个 Pastor Jeff talked about these in sunday school.
他说这是撒旦版的大富翁 He called them Satan's monopoly board.
来吧 Come on.
我来接 I'll get it.
你好 Hello?
是杰夫牧师打来的 我该怎么办 It's pastor Jeff. What do I do?
问他有什么事 See what he wants.
你有什么事 What do you want?
你妈妈在家吗 Um, is your mom home?
不在 她和爸爸出去了 No, she went out with my dad.
家里只有我和小乔治 It's just me and Georgie.
好的 Oh. Okay.
那你们乖乖在家哦 Well, I hope you two are behaving yourselves.
我们很乖 只是在看电视 We are. We're just watching TV.
好 再见 Okay, bye.
我刚刚对牧师撒谎了 I just lied to a pastor.
-所以呢 -所以我要下地狱了 - So? - So I'm going to hell!
-不会的 -会的 - No, you're not. - Yes, I am!
那你倒霉了 Sucks for you.
这样我们就能将弦的端点 So then we're able to take the ends of the strings
连到一片十维的膜上 and connect them to a ten-dimensional membrane.
谢尔顿 Yes, Sheldon.
斯特吉斯博士教我们 利用开弦 Dr. Sturgis taught us that if you leave the strings open,
会有更多的可能性 it allows far more possibilities.
我们已经不再需要开弦了 We don't believe you need open strings anymore.
那是老旧的思维模型 现在... That's an older model of thinking. Now...
谢尔顿 Yes, Sheldon.
老旧的东西 Just because something is older
并不代表就不好 doesn't mean that it's not still good.
《星际迷航: 原初系列》比《星际旅行: 下一代》老 Original Star Trek is older than next generation,
但要是你认为数据先生比斯波克先生厉害 but if you think that Mr. Data is better than Mr. Spock,
那你可就大错特错了[不知道你在说什么] you don't know what you're talking about.
我是不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
抱歉没让你吃得开心 Sorry you're not having a good time.
不啊 我挺开心的 No, I am.
这样很有爱 This is lovely.
但你为什么会想请我出来约会呢 But can I ask what prompted it?
这个嘛 Well...
韦恩和我那天在聊婚姻 Wayne and I were discussing marriage,
他一直在说他有多幸福 and he was going on about how happy he is.
我也想努力让我们幸福 I just wanted to try to work on ours.
你真贴心 乔治 That's really sweet, George.
所以他们经常像这样出来吃晚饭约会吗 So they go on dinner dates like this?
他们会一起做各种事 Oh, they do all kinds of stuff.
跳队列舞 看电影 Line dancing and movie night.
你绝对想不到他们在浴室里做了什么 You wouldn't believe what they got up to in their bathroom.
他们哪来这么多时间 Where do they find the time?
他们没有孩子 所以... Well, they don't have any kids, so...
我去 他们没有孩子 Son of a bitch. They don't have kids.
怪不得他们这么幸福 That's why they're happy.
-乔治 -实话实说 - George. - It's true.
我们以前比现在快乐多了 You and I used to be way more fun.
可能是这么回事 但你总不能怪孩子吧 That may be so, but you can't blame the children.
当然可以 我就怪他们 Oh, I can, and I am.
别误解我的意思 孩子们很棒 我爱他们 Don't get me wrong. They're great. I love them.
但你得承认 他们让我们的生活不轻松啊 But you got to admit that they do not make our lives easy.
养孩子可能确实... I suppose there's a...
有挑战性的一方面 challenging aspect to them.
这就对了 看看 There you go. See?
说出来感觉很痛快 对吧 Feels good to say it out loud, right?
可能是有一点 Maybe a little.
你想想 要是只有我们俩 Think about how clean the house would be
家里得多干净啊 if it was just us.
天哪 Oh, my.
所以他们在浴室里做什么了 So, what did they do in the bathroom?
我要下地狱了 我要下地狱了 I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell.
放轻松 你死了才会下地狱 Relax. Not until you're dead.
你身上真好闻 You smell really nice.
谢谢 Thank you.
沐浴露的味道 It's soap.
我喜欢沐浴露 I love soap.
我来接 I'll get it.
你好 Hello?
我对你撒谎了 I lied to you.
我刚刚没在看电视 I wasn't watching TV.
我在玩灵应盘 I was playing with a ouija board.
呃 你是哪位 Uh, who is this?
我是米希·库珀 我要下地狱了 Missy Cooper and I'm going to hell.
米希 你不会下地狱的 Uh, Missy, you're-you're not gonna go to hell.
我会的 上帝知道我做了什么 Yes, I am. God knows what I did.
他什么都看得到 He sees everything.
你说得对 You're right.
上帝什么都看得到 God does see everything.
但他也能看到你是一位好基督徒 But he also just saw you be a good Christian
诚实说真话 and tell the truth.
所以我保证 你的灵魂很安全 So I promise, your soul is safe.
-你确定吗 -我确定 - You're sure? - I'm sure.
要是你撒谎的话 你也会下地狱 If you're lying, you're going to hell, too.
我确定 I'm sure.
谢谢 Thank you.
在家乖一点 再见 You take care, now.
主刚刚给我传达了信息 The lord just sent me a message.
真的吗 Really?
对不起 I'm sorry.
我不能在婚姻关系之外发生肉体关系 I can't be in a physical relationship outside of marriage.
好吧 Okay.
我能理解 I respect that.
谢谢 Thank you.
那我们什么时候结婚 So when are we getting married?
我们不需要开弦 We don't need open strings.
只要连到D膜上就行 We just connect them to a d-brane.
但你的理论无法再现现实世界的已知对称性 But your theories can't recreate the known symmetries of the real world.
你们还好吗 Everything okay in here?
非常好 More than okay.
我们正在激烈地辩论超弦理论 We're having a spirited debate on superstring theory.
非常激烈 Very spirited.
你准备好回家了吗 Well, you ready to go home?
准备好了 除非林克莱特博士... Yes. Unless Dr. Linkletter...
他准备好了 He's ready.
那我们下周见 Well, I guess we'll see you next week.
听起来不错 Sounds good.
怪不得斯特吉斯疯了 No wonder Sturgis went crazy.