《少年谢尔顿》前情提要 Previously on Young Sheldon...
我在学校等了你一个小时 最后还得走路回家 I waited at school for an hour and had to walk home.
翻译 逃出生天贝大八 油腻希
你们连一通电话都没有 No one even called.
曼蒂破水了 Mandy went into labor.
我得赶去医院 I had to go to the hospital.
校对 背井离乡赛赛公主
她生了孩子都没人告诉我吗 She had the baby and no one told me?
你自己的床到底有什么问题 And what exactly is it that's wrong with your bed?
后期 灰灰是菇凉 时间轴 加森
我老公睡在上面 My husband's in it.
你打算一直在我这蹭睡 So, you're just gonna keep sleeping here
不去解决矛盾吗 instead of dealing with it?
总监 贝大八
我要帮忙带娃啊 I'm helping with the baby.
她明天还是会哭的 给我回家去 She'll still be crying tomorrow. Go home.
二号加十块钱油 Ten dollars on pump two.
好的 You got it.
你看那个是几号吧 加十块钱... Hi, uh, ten dollars on pump, uh... whichever that one is.
你感觉还没到能开车的年纪啊 Ain't you young to be driving?
我只是帮我爸加油 Oh, I'm just pumping gas for my dad.
他去上厕所了 可能还得上一会儿 He's in the bathroom. Might be a while.
我懂 Been there.
我是三号油枪 I'm on pump number three.
你呢 You?
二号 Two.
牛逼 Nice.
你好 Hello?
我是米希 Hey, it's Missy.
我偷开走了我爸的车 I stole my dad's truck,
我逃家了 你想一起吗 I'm running away. Want to come?
你逃家了吗 感觉好危险啊 You're running away? Sounds dangerous.
我爸教过我怎么开车啦 所以... Well, my dad taught me how to drive and...
我闹你呢 快来接我 I'm messing with you. Come and get me.
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪ ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
少 年
谢尔顿
我们为什么不早几年就这么干 Why didn't we do this years ago?
早几年的话我的脚够不到油门刹车 My feet wouldn't reach the pedals.
爸 起床 出事了 Dad, wake up. There's a problem.
什么 什么事 What? What's wrong?
现在是周六早晨 没有人煎培根 It's Saturday morning and no one's cooking bacon.
那你自己去煎啊 Oh. So go cook bacon.
但培根一直都是妈妈煎的 But Mom cooks bacon.
她在你姥姥家 Well, she's at your meemaw's.
所以我才来叫你起床啊 Which is why I'm waking you up.
谢尔顿 你是个很聪明的小伙 Sheldon, you're a very intelligent little boy,
我很确定你能搞定培根 I'm sure you can handle bacon.
我去叫米希起床 I'll wake up Missy.
别 你等等 No, wait...
她现在怒火都要烧尽九重天了 She's mad at the world right now.
别去烦她了 Just leave her alone.
那我打给妈妈 Then I'll call Mom.
行行行 Okay...
我起来煎你的傻逼培根 高兴了吧 I'll make your stupid bacon, happy?
一般高兴吧 I've been better.
这真是我一生最棒的一天了 This is the best day of my life.
第一次逃家吗 First time running away?
算是吧 Pretty much.
你觉得你家人发现你逃家了吗 Think your parents know you're gone?
他们甚至很常没发现我在家好吗 They barely know when I'm there.
米希 做了早饭 我们留了一些给你 Missy, there's breakfast. We saved you a little.
去个有海滩的地方吧 比如加州 What about somewhere with a beach, like California?
我们已经往东开了五小时 We've already driven five hours east,
我们还是继续往东走吧 so we might want to keep heading that way.
东 你真的是聪明人耶 East. You really are smart.
我知道我们昨晚有点不欢而散 I get there was a lot of yelling last night.
但我想告诉你 你要是想聊 我随时都在 Just want you to know I'm here when you're ready to talk.
如果你想去海边 I mean, if you want a beach,
那佛罗里达就在那个方向 then Florida's in the right direction.
而且快到春假狂欢季了 Oh, and it's almost spring break.
就像电视上的春假狂欢节目吗 Like MTV Spring Break?
但如果你是想要我道歉 那你就慢慢在里面等 If you expect me to apologize, you can sit in there forever.
很好 那我们就去佛罗里达 Great. Then we're going to Florida.
那我们付钱出发吧 Let's pay and get out of here.
又或者... Or...
不付钱 直接出发 let's not pay and get out of here.
行 你就接着不理我 我把你的培根吃了 Fine, ignore me. I'm eating your bacon.
天啊 天啊 天啊 天啊 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
你知道有更高效运用空间的 You know, there's a more spatially efficient way
-摆放方式吧 -差不多就行了 - to do that. - It's good enough.
你也这么对你的球员说吗 Is that what you tell your football players?
我会罚他们跑圈 你也想跑吗 I make them run laps. That what you want?
你可真会说笑 我喜欢我们的周末时光 You're funny. I like our weekends together.
我没看到你的车 I didn't see your truck.
以为你不在就回来拿点东西 I just came to grab a few things.
没事 拿呗 Yeah. It's fine.
你好啊 谢利 你怎么样啊 宝贝 Hi, Shelly. How you doing, baby?
我很好啊 尽管洗碗机看起来像是 I'm all right, although the dishwasher looks like
古斯塔夫·达连摆的一样 it was loaded by Gustaf Dalen.
他得到过诺贝尔物理学奖 他是个盲人 He won a Nobel Prize in physics. And was blind.
你说没看到我车停在外面是什么意思 What do you mean you didn't see my truck outside?
不在前院啊 It's not out front.
我停在那里了啊 Yes, it is.
我刚刚才看着走进来 I was just out there.
我的车呢 The hell's my truck?
是一辆86年款的福特F-250 It's a '86 Ford F-250.
-你没听到任何动静吗 -没有 - And you didn't hear anything? - No.
那你呢 夫人 What about you, ma'am?
其实呢... Well, um, actually...
她好多天没回来睡了 Oh, she hasn't slept here in days.
她就是回来拿点东西而已 She's just getting her things.
我是在照顾宝宝 I was taking care of the baby.
我们最近刚有了孙女 We have a new grandbaby.
你们说你们有个女儿 You mentioned you had a daughter.
她有可能会看到什么吗 Any chance she saw something?
应该不会 I doubt it.
她连房门都不出呢 She didn't even come out of her room.
你都没看到她吗 You haven't seen her at all?
没 她在不爽我 No. She's mad at me.
不介意我去问问她吧 Mind if we ask her?
米希 Missy.
开门 Open up.
米希 Missy?
我了个操 Son of a bitch.
你的车不见了 她人也没了吗 Huh, your truck's gone and she's gone?
祸不单行 这可真是巧啊 What are the odds of that?
她开了我的车跑了 谢尔顿 She took my truck, Sheldon.
更糟的情况 懂了 Oh, more chaos. Got it.
我们犯了好多法啊 We are breaking so many laws right now.
感觉我们就像《末路狂花》的女主角们 I feel like Thelma & Louise.
知名电影 讲两个女人阴错阳差犯罪后 亡命天涯的故事
我也这么觉得 Me too.
你看过那部电影吗 Have you seen that movie?
没有 No.
我也没有 Me neither.
你怎么会连她丢了都没发现 How could you not know she was missing?
我还以为她是在闹脾气故意不回我呢 I thought she was giving me the silent treatment.
你理解吧 少女常见行为 You know, teenage girls.
不 I don't.
阴晴不定 脾气难猜 说变就变 Moody, moody, moody.
-谢尔顿你住嘴 -你们上一次见到女儿是什么时候 - Sheldon. - When was the last time you saw your daughter?
这个嘛... Uh, well...
说不准 发生太多事情了 Hard to say. We just... Lot going on.
昨晚6点15她做了饭 Well, at 6:15 she made a plate of food
然后把饭拿进房间里吃了 and took it to her room,
当时我对她说"你这样会招蚂蚁" which I said, "is how you attract ants,"
她让我少管别人的事 and she said to mind my own business,
我说这事是我的事 and I said it is my business
因为她的房间和我的就一墙之隔... because her bedroom shares a wall with mine...
6点15 好的 在那之后还有人看到她吗 6:15, got it. No one saw her after that?
7点22的时候她出来想用卫生间 Well, at 7:22, she had to use the restroom,
但我爸爸当时在里面所以她得等 but she had to wait because my dad was in there.
应该是因为喝了很多啤酒 Probably due to all the beers.
-真谢谢你啊 -客气客气 - Thank you. - Happy to help.
7点45的时候她又尝试看看厕所有没有人 And then at 7:45, she tried the bathroom again,
还好这次我爸爸已经... and luckily, by then my father had...
谢尔顿 直说你最后一次看到她是什么时间 Sheldon, when was the last time you saw her?
是晚上9点15 我给她拿了罐杀虫剂以防有蚂蚁 Well, at 9:15 I brought her a can of Raid for the ants,
她叫我去死吧 非常没礼貌 and she told me to go to hell, which is rude.
然后11点06时我尝试用无线电跟她说话 And then at 11:06 I tried to communicate with her
但她当时没有回我 via walkie-talkie to no response.
我真不敢相信她会这样 I can't believe she would do this.
她怎么会开车啊 How does she even know how to drive?
把脚从刹车上移开 All right, now, take your foot off the brake
轻轻踩在... gently put it on the...
肯定是你妈妈教她的 I bet your mother taught her.
她有可能开迷路了 也可能发生意外 She could be lost, she could be in an accident,
甚至是开进哪里路边的沟里了 she could be in a ditch by the side of the road somewhere.
♪ 我在早上起床 ♪ ♪ So I wake in the morning ♪
What's up - 4 Non Blondes
♪ 我走到屋外 ♪ ♪ And I step outside ♪
♪ 我深吸一口气 ♪ ♪ And I take a deep breath ♪
-♪ 大口呼出痛快 ♪ -有警察 - ♪ And I get real high... ♪ - There's a cop.
装没事 自然点 Be cool. Be cool.
然后我喊 ♪ 嘿 ♪ And I say, ♪ Hey-ey-ey. ♪
如果你有听到什么消息 Okay, well, if you hear anything,
麻烦给我打个电话 please give me a call.
谢谢 Thank you.
没消息 Nothing.
有消息吗 Any word?
没有 她没有联络过她那些朋友 No. None of her friends have heard from her.
警察们也在找我的车了 但还没有消息 The police are looking for my truck, but still no sign.
真不敢相信这姑娘这么干 I can't believe that girl.
她就没想过我们会有多担心吗 Did she even think about how worried we'd all be?
你转变成一个爸爸的速度可真快 Wow, you became a dad fast.
自然而然就变了 Well, it just kicks in.
我不知道该打给谁了 I don't know who else to call.
佩吉呢 What about Paige?
她们还有在联系吗 Are they still in touch?
她们几周前有见过面 They saw each other a few weeks ago.
不过佩吉当时喝得还挺茫的 Although Paige was quite inebriated.
-什么 -就是喝醉了 - What? - It means drunk.
我们知道那词是什么意思 We know what it means.
而且佩吉也有过逃家的记录 And Paige has run away from home before.
如果是我要落跑 我绝对会联络她 If I was going on the lam, that's certainly who I'd contact.
"落跑" 这词真有趣 "Lam." what a fun word.
真庆幸我居然有机会用到这个词 I'm glad I got the chance to use it.
-落跑 -你好 琳达 - Lam. - Hi. Linda,
我是玛丽·库珀 this is Mary Cooper.
很抱歉突然打来麻烦你 Um, I'm sorry to call out of the blue,
但米希有跟佩吉在你那边吗 but is Missy there with Paige?
没有啊 怎么了 发生什么事了 No. Why? What's going on?
米希逃家了 我们就想... Missy has run away, and we thought...
我女儿可能会跟这件事 That my daughter would have something
-有关系吗 -不 我不是想指责她 - to do with it? - Oh, no, I'm not accusing her.
不是 这种事绝对跟她会有关 No, that's exactly something she would do.
你等等 Hold on.
佩吉 Paige.
我觉得她有可能跟佩吉在一起 I'm thinking she might be with Paige.
佩吉 Paige?
靠 Damn it.
可以让我也试试看开车吗 Hey, can I drive?
还是别了吧 Better not.
如果这辆车发生了什么事 我爸应该会很火大 My dad'll be pretty mad if something happens to his truck.
什么事 比如被人偷开走吗 Like what, if somebody stole it?
天啊 我是个罪犯 Oh, my God, I'm a criminal.
对啊 这还蛮酷的吧 Yeah. It's pretty cool, right?
我这下死定了 I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
回去才会死定了 Only if you go back.
你这么说好像也对 I guess you're right.
别担心啦 I mean, don't worry.
等我们到代托纳海滩 一切烦恼都会烟消云散 When we get to Daytona, everything's gonna be great.
你这么觉得吗 Think so?
对啊 Yeah.
-或许我们该换掉我们的名字 -真的吗 - Hey, maybe we should change our names. - Really?
我超讨厌我的名字 And I hate my name.
佩吉 什么啊 感觉像个国会助理的名字 Paige. What am I, a congressional aide?
对啊对啊 Yeah, totally.
那你想改什么名字 So, what name are you gonna pick?
我在考虑金吉儿 I'm thinking Ginger.
这名字太棒了吧 That is so good.
金吉儿不像个无聊的科学家 Ginger's not a boring scientist.
金吉儿很有趣 很有生命力 Ginger's fun. She's alive.
那我要选苏珊 I'm gonna pick Susan.
不 苏西 这样比较可爱 No, Suzie. Much cuter.
-金吉儿与苏西 -金吉儿与苏西 - Ginger and Suzie. - Ginger and Suzie.
等等 我现在想换成布兰蒂是不是晚了 Wait, is it too late to change my name to Brandi?
-太晚了 -别这样嘛 金吉儿 - Too late. - Come on, Ginger.
真不敢相信我们最后对她做的事就是吼她 I can't believe the last thing we did was yell at her.
别太责怪自己了 Now, don't go blaming yourself.
我是怪我们俩 Uh, I was blaming both of us.
难道我们不该惩罚她吗 So, we weren't supposed to punish her?
小孩干蠢事 就是会被爸妈责骂啊 Kids do stupid stuff, parents yell at them.
没错 我也是被打骂过来的 Yeah, y'all did it to me,
我以后也会这样严厉"要求"我的小孩 I'm gonna do it to my kid.
别急着报复 新手爸爸 Calm down, Daddy.
我知道你们很担心 但这样也无济于事 I know y'all are worried, but this ain't helping.
她偷溜出家门 把我的车开走 She snuck out and stole my truck.
这怎么是我们的错呢 I mean, how is this our fault?
也许她说的话没错 Well, maybe she was right.
她确实在家里被忽视了 She does get ignored around here.
我倒喜欢被忽视 I liked being ignored.
这样我干坏事就不会被发现了 Let me get away with all kinds of stuff.
拜托你别再帮倒忙了 Please stop helping.
赶紧再联系警察 We need to get the police back on the phone.
我知道怎么能找到她们了 I know how to find them.
真的吗 怎么做 Really? How?
根据她们出走的时间 Right, well, based on the time they've been gone
和平均车速推算 and the average speed limit,
我已经计算出她们最远 I've calculated that this circle
只能开到这个圈圈范围内 is the maximum distance they could have traveled.
-这些标记代表什么 -就等你问呢 - And what are the pins? - I'm glad you asked.
帮我们缩小搜索范围 我已经找出 To help narrow down the search, I've identified
十几岁少女爱去的地方 points of interest to teenage girls.
俗称四大金刚 商场 美容院 The big four-- malls, beauty salons,
马厩和溜冰场 horse stables and roller rinks.
那蓝色的标记又代表什么 And what are the blue pins?
蓝色是我个人感兴趣的地方 Those are places that I'm interested in
等找到她们之后我们可以顺路去逛逛 that we can swing by after we find them.
比如德州的彼斯特市... For example, Peaster, Texas...
没人想知道 No one cares.
德州的彼斯特市 是作家罗伯特·霍华德的出生地 Peaster, Texas-- birthplace of Robert E. Howard,
他被视作"剑与魔法派"奇幻文学的创始人 regarded to be the father of the sword and sorcery subgenre.
谢尔顿 这事跟你没关系 Sheldon, this isn't about you.
不过这是个好开始 But it's a good start.
你再去发挥聪明才智 把范围缩得更小一点好吗 Why don't you go narrow that down even more?
我去米希房间找找线索 I'll check in Missy's room for clues.
如果她带走了溜冰鞋 那我们就破案了 If she took her roller skates, this case is closed.
你觉得你爸妈是不是担心得要死 Think your parents are freaking out?
估计正在开派对庆祝呢 Probably having a party.
然后谢尔顿会抱怨他们开派对 And then Sheldon will complain about them having a party,
他们就会停下来 因为他总能为所欲为 and they'll stop because he gets everything he wants.
我懂 你试试当金童 I know. Try being the golden child.
所有人时刻期望着你能干大事 Everybody's always expecting big things from you
就因为你是个天才 'cause you're a genius.
你想做什么 What do you want to do?
我不知道 I don't know.
简单轻松的事吧 Something simple, easy.
我听说佛罗里达州有一种职业 You know, I heard there's a place in Florida
是扮成美人鱼 where you can get a job as a mermaid.
-真的吗 -千真万确 - Really? - Really.
我说实话你别生气 但你确实是天才 Don't get mad at me, but you are a genius.
千万别告诉其他美人鱼哦 Just don't tell the other mermaids.
糟了 Oh, crap.
你是不是超速了 Well, how fast are you going?
我开得不快啊 是不是开得太慢了 I'm not going too fast. Maybe I'm going too slow.
我要不要加速啊 Should I speed up?
别加速啊 你在干什么 Don't speed up. What are you doing?
我不知道啊 I don't know.
可能不是冲我们来的 Just... maybe it's not for us.
你靠边停下 让他过去 Pull over and let him pass.
怎么办 What do we do?
我们得把故事编好 We need to get our stories straight.
我们是表姐妹 你16岁 驾照落在家里了 We're cousins, you're 16, you forgot your license at home,
我们正赶去医院探望奶奶 and we're on our way to the hospital to visit our grandma.
我记好了 Okay.
我只有13岁 我偷开我爸的车 I'm only 13, I stole my dad's truck
我们刚才在餐馆吃早餐也没给钱 and we didn't pay for breakfast at the diner.
吃完霸王餐就跑了 We just left.
好吧 那这位是谁 Okay. And who's this?
我表姐 金吉儿 My cousin, Ginger.
有人肚子饿了吗 我可以做点三明治 Is anyone hungry? I can make sandwiches.
不用了 谢谢 No, thanks.
-不饿 -我可以吃点 - Not hungry. - I could eat.
那你自己去弄个三明治 Then make yourself a sandwich.
或许你才应该吃两口 你是不是饿了在闹脾气 Maybe you should. Are you cranky?
我搞明白了 Okay, I figured it out.
根据她从我的杂志 Based off the pictures
撕下来的页面推断 she's ripped out of magazines,
她是演员卢克·派瑞的狂热影迷 she's a big fan of actor Luke Perry.
-他谁啊 -他在《飞跃比佛利》中扮演迪伦 - Who is that? - He plays Dylan on Beverly Hills, 90210.
就是那种典型的痞帅坏男孩 Your classic bad boy.
典型的痞帅坏男孩 Your classic bad boy?
没错 跟我一样 Yeah, like me.
剧集的发生地和拍摄地 The show not only takes place but is also filmed
都在加州洛杉矶 in Los Angeles, California.
她肯定是打算去那里 That's obviously where she's heading.
库珀家 Cooper residence.
考虑到她出走的时长... Now, given the amount of time since she's left...
她们平安没事 找到她们了 They're okay! They've found them.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
她们在哪 Where are they?
距离巴吞鲁日市以东一小时车程处 Uh, about an hour east of Baton Rouge.
显然她们的目的地是佛罗里达州 Apparently they were on their way to Florida.
卢克·派瑞不在那边啊 That's not where Luke Perry is.
让我跟她们通话 Let me speak to them.
收到 Copy that.
你们爸妈正赶来接你们 All right. Your parents are on the way.
他们是不是很生气 Are they mad?
要是我女儿偷开我的车离家出走 我会很生气 If my daughter stole my car and ran away, I'd be mad.
要是她有好理由呢 What if she had a good reason?
你有好理由吗 Do you have a good reason?
我哥天资过人 Well, my brother's really smart
我更年长的大哥当了爸爸 家里人都忽视我 and my older brother had a baby and they were ignoring me.
你这理由不够充分 You might need a better reason.
你要把我们关进监狱吗 Are you taking us to jail?
不 No.
太好啦 那我们能走了吗 Great, so we can go?
不行 No.
但我也不会把你们送进监狱 But I'm not taking you in either.
为什么 Why not?
我的小孩和你同龄 我能理解 I got a kid your age. I get it.
我宁可蹲大牢 Oh, God, I'd rather sit in jail
也不想再听见大人告诉我 他们有多能理解 than have another adult tell me how much they get it.
我不这么想 我很庆幸待在这 Not me. Happy right here.
佩吉带坏米希 我很抱歉 I'm real sorry for whatever Paige got Missy into.
谢谢你这么说 但这次应该是米希的错 Thanks, but I think this one's on Missy.
不太可能 她上个月偷刷我的信用卡 I doubt it. Last month she swiped my credit card
买了一张去夏威夷的机票 and bought a plane ticket to Hawaii.
还是不可退款的 Nonrefundable.
那你怎么惩罚她 What did you do?
还能怎么办 我就把她送到她爸家 What could I do? I dropped her off at her dad's
我自己用机票去夏威夷玩咯 and I went to Hawaii.
相信我 Trust me,
米希绝不会再干这种事 Missy's never gonna do anything like this again.
有梦最美啦 Aw, bless your heart.
我是说真的 她以后只能学校和家两点一直线 I'm serious. School and home, that's it.
不准看电视 交朋友 鞋也不准穿 No TV, no friends, no shoes.
看她光脚还怎么离家出走 Let's see her run away barefoot.
你的计划就是让她更怨恨我们吗 That's your plan-- make her hate us even more?
我又不是要当她的知心好友 玛丽 I'm not trying to be her friend, Mary.
我是要扮演好父亲的角色 I'm trying to be her parent.
那你觉得我是想扮演什么 What do you think I'm trying to be?
我鬼知道 她的邻居吗 Oh, I don't know. Her neighbor?
你们夫妻俩没闹矛盾吧 Is everything okay?
没有 Yes.
我只是最近都暂住在我们家对面 I've just been staying across the street
为了照顾孙女 taking care of our granddaughter.
你用这个借口不回家多久了 How long you gonna keep using that excuse?
抱歉失礼了 我们这周压力很大 I am so sorry. It's been a stressful week.
不用道歉啊 我也有过这种经历 You don't need to apologize. I've been there.
好吧 Right.
我知道我没资格说这话 不过 I know it's not my place, but...
我和巴里以前总是把感受都憋在心里 Barry and I used to keep a bunch of stuff bottled up,
我们的婚姻结局你们也知道 and we know how that turned out.
我们不会离婚的啦 We're not getting divorced.
除非我死了 Yeah, over my dead body.
没错 这就是我们的婚姻结局 Yeah, that's exactly how it's gonna end.
好尴尬 Oh, boy.
米希到底怎么想的 为什么去佛罗里达州 What was Missy thinking? Why Florida?
这很重要吗 Why does it matter?
我做出了有数据支持的靠谱猜测 I made a solid hypothesis backed by data.
我到底哪一步出错了 Where did I go wrong?
你妄想预判少女的想法就是最大的错 You tried to predict a teenage girl.
或许等她回来之后 Perhaps when she gets back
我们可以带她去做脑部扫描 we can take her in for a brain scan.
可能米希需要的 Maybe what Missy needs
是我们都多点去理解她 is for us all to be a little understanding.
我是想理解她啊 I'm trying to understand.
所以我才要带她去做脑部扫描 That's why I need the brain scan.
你妹妹这段时间经历了太多事 Look, your sister's going through a lot these days.
她觉得被忽视 She's feeling overlooked,
她感到迷惘 愤怒和难过 confused, angry, sad.
她同时拥有这么多情绪吗 She's feeling all those things at once?
是的 Yeah.
那我还不能扫描她的脑子 And I can't scan her brain?
太不公平了 That is so unfair.
你们到底有什么计划 So, what exactly was your plan?
我们打算去代托纳海滩 We were gonna go to Daytona Beach.
像电视上放的那样 Like on MTV.
你们打算怎么解决钱的问题 And what were you gonna do for money?
不知道 I don't know.
我们肯定能想出办法的 We would have figured something out.
是啊 她可是货真价实的天才 Yeah, she's an actual genius.
对不起啦 Sorry.
很少有天才被我逮上警车 Don't get a lot of geniuses back there.
大多数是憨憨和笨蛋 Mostly stupid folk.
我是说 我和米希关系很好 I'm just saying, I have a good relationship with Missy.
我教她投球 Yeah, I taught her how to throw a ball.
还教她开车 Taught her how to drive.
原来她开车是你教的 You taught her how to drive?
啊这... Oh, uh...
只是在停车场教些基本的啦 You know, just the basics in-in a parking lot.
再说 Hey...
她可是一路开到了路易斯安那州 She made it all the way to Louisiana
途中都没有出过车祸哦 without getting into an accident.
这证明我教得很好吧 I think I did a pretty good job.
还有脸说 Unbelievable.
有需要的话 我可以给你们介绍 If y'all want, I can recommend
我和巴里用过的那位婚姻咨询师 the marriage counselor me and Barry used.
你这是什么反应 What's...
你们都离婚了 Y'all got divorced.
那个男的能有多厉害 How good can he be?
咨询师是女的 Well, she...
你别再用喉咙哼唧了 Stop with the...
难道她不会偏帮同为女性的你吗 Oh, like she's not gonna be on your side?
这不是站队的问题 It's not about sides.
她帮我们认识到 我们维持婚姻的理由 She helped us realize we were staying in our marriage
是错误的 for the wrong reasons
我们分开对所有人都会更好 and it would be better for everyone if we split.
对佩吉来说未必更好吧 I'm not sure it was better for Paige.
佩吉的问题和我们离婚没关系 Paige's issues have nothing to do with our divorce.
你说是就是咯 Sure.
她付了那咨询师一大笔钱 就换来这种屁话 How much she have to pay the counselor to tell her that?
至少我女儿没有偷开我的车 At least my daughter didn't steal my truck,
我家孩子也没有谁小小年纪就当爹妈 and none of my kids are having babies.
我承认我们各自有家庭问题 Okay, we all have our stuff.
又来一辆 Here comes another one.
58英里时速 没超速 Fifty-eight.
这机器怎么知道的 How does it know?
它通过反射的无线电波的多普勒频移 It calculates the speed based on the Doppler shift
计算出车速 of the reflected radio waves.
我说了吧 她是天才 See? Genius.
我哥也是这类型 但她有意思多了 My brother's like that too, but she's way more fun.
91英里时速 Ninety-one.
好吧 系好安全带 All right, buckle up.
刺激 Yes!
教我用枪 我可以掩护你 Show me how to use your gun and I'll cover you.
你想休息一会的话 可以换我开 If you need a break, I can drive for a bit.
不用 谢了 I'm okay, thanks.
-换我开一段也行 -现在不适合说笑 - I could take a turn. - Not a time for jokes.
你以后休想再开车 You may never drive again.
你以后也不准再跟佩吉玩 And you are not hanging out with Paige anymore.
这不公平 这都是我的主意 跟佩吉无关 That's not fair. It was my idea, not Paige's.
你真以为这么说有用吗 You really think that's helping your case?
我无比怀念你俩怄气不说话的时候 Liked it better when you two weren't talking.
很遗憾 我们现在恢复对话了 Well, too bad, 'cause we are.
如果你觉得被忽视了 别担心 If you're feeling ignored, don't worry.
从今往后我们会紧紧盯死你 We're gonna be laser-focused on you from now on.
这次事件开启了 This marked the beginning of
我们家人口中的 what our family would come to call
"米希叛逆期" "Missy's difficult period."
尽管我反复保证 Despite my repeated assurances
我能通过脑部扫描 that I could solve the problem
和低压电击解决这问题 with a brain scan and some low-voltage electric shocks, I was
但他们始终没给我机会 太可惜了 never given the opportunity. Such a shame.