m 211 -8 b 217 -6 217 -4 217 -2 l 217 24 b 217 26 217 29 211 31 l 31 31 b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b 208 0 229 21 229 50 l 229 179 b 229 208 208 228 179 228 l 50 228 b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 325 0 l 355 0 l 332 47 l 354 47 l 399 136 l 369 136 l 328 53 l 288 136 l 257 136 l 325 0 m 467 0 l 497 0 l 474 47 l 496 47 l 541 136 l 511 136 l 470 53 l 430 136 l 399 136 l 467 0 m 545 1 l 583 1 l 583 14 l 568 14 l 568 19 l 583 19 l 583 30 l 568 30 l 568 34 l 599 34 l 599 30 l 583 30 l 583 19 l 599 19 l 599 14 l 583 14 l 583 1 l 611 1 b 616 1 622 6 622 10 l 622 36 l 652 0 l 678 0 l 644 41 l 622 41 l 622 47 l 596 47 l 597 54 l 625 54 l 625 68 l 541 68 l 541 54 l 572 54 l 571 47 l 545 47 l 545 1 m 583 72 l 583 85 l 569 85 l 569 90 l 598 90 l 598 85 l 583 85 l 583 72 l 611 72 b 615 72 621 78 621 82 l 653 44 l 678 44 l 644 86 l 621 86 l 621 103 l 597 103 l 597 136 l 570 136 l 564 126 l 562 136 l 542 136 l 548 107 l 568 107 l 565 121 l 571 121 l 571 103 l 547 103 l 547 72 l 583 72 m 600 107 l 620 107 l 624 124 l 653 89 l 679 89 l 642 136 l 615 136 l 618 132 l 606 132 l 600 107 m 689 0 l 716 0 l 721 15 l 732 15 l 732 30 l 718 56 l 731 56 l 735 100 l 721 100 l 717 59 l 714 64 l 714 136 l 693 136 l 693 79 l 676 79 l 707 30 l 679 30 l 679 15 l 694 15 l 689 0 m 738 0 l 804 0 b 807 0 813 6 813 9 l 813 87 l 794 87 l 794 14 l 756 14 l 756 87 l 763 77 l 763 21 l 787 21 l 787 91 l 798 91 l 798 120 l 820 120 l 812 136 l 778 136 l 778 90 l 748 136 l 723 136 l 756 87 l 738 87 l 738 0 m 257 151 l 275 151 l 297 182 l 319 151 l 337 151 l 304 197 l 304 227 l 290 227 l 290 197 l 257 151 m 337 151 l 355 151 l 377 182 l 399 151 l 417 151 l 384 197 l 384 227 l 370 227 l 370 197 l 337 151 m 425 192 l 447 192 b 445 181 427 181 425 192 l 410 192 b 414 162 458 162 462 192 l 462 206 l 425 206 b 425 210 429 212 433 213 l 462 213 l 462 227 l 433 227 b 412 227 408 203 410 192 m 462 151 l 532 151 l 532 165 l 504 165 l 504 227 l 489 227 l 489 165 l 462 165 l 462 151 m 580 172 l 580 186 l 549 186 b 543 186 543 192 549 192 l 565 192 b 589 192 589 227 565 227 l 532 227 l 532 213 l 565 213 b 570 213 570 206 565 206 l 549 206 b 524 206 524 172 549 172 l 580 172 m 592 213 l 606 213 l 606 227 l 592 227 l 592 213 m 639 172 l 665 172 l 665 186 l 639 186 b 623 186 623 213 639 213 l 665 213 l 665 227 l 639 227 b 603 227 603 172 639 172 m 700 184 b 722 184 722 215 700 215 l 700 229 b 740 229 740 170 700 170 b 660 170 660 229 700 229 l 700 215 b 680 215 680 184 700 184 m 737 172 l 782 172 b 803 172 813 177 813 198 l 813 228 l 799 228 l 799 198 b 799 186 793 187 782 187 l 782 228 l 768 228 l 768 187 l 752 187 l 752 228 l 737 228 l 737 172
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com 仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 38 -1 l 44 6 l 38 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 洗七里 油腻希 禁饭减肥赛太公
翻译 斑驳 Flora哎呀呀 整蛊专家赛太公
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 三水
后期 瓜瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第五集
好了 亲爱的 门铃装好了 Okay, honey, doorbell's installed.
-听起来怎么样 -欢迎来到地狱 - How's it sound? - Welcome to hell!
太可爱了 That is so cute!
你能进来帮我弄一下这张网吗 Can you come in here and help me with this web?
抱歉 苍蝇君得起飞了 Sorry, gotta fly.
等人都来了我再说一次这苍蝇起飞双关梗 I'm gonna do that one again when there's more people around.
好了 把那个挂到钩子上 Okay. So, you got to put that up on the hook
因为不给糖就捣乱的孩子们随时会来 because the trick-or-treaters are gonna be here any minute.
我被缠住了 I'm caught.
别硬拉 只会越来越... Don't pull. It's just gonna get...
糟 ‭...worse.
-不 我能... -别动了 - No, I can, uh -- - N- Stop moving.
我去找把剪刀来 I'm gonna get some scissors.
杰瑞 Hey, Jerry.
出什么事了 What's wrong?
什么时候 When?
怎么会 How?
谢天谢地你回来了 Oh, thank God you're back.
这有只真蜘蛛 离我越来越近 There's a real spider in here, and it's getting closer.
是杰瑞的电话 我妈的老公 That was Jerry, my mom's husband.
一切还好吗 Is everything okay?
不 No.
-我妈去世了 -什么 - My mom's dead. - ‭What?
真不敢相信外婆去世了 I can't believe Nana's gone.
假如上帝真是个白人老头 If God really is an old white guy,
他会被外婆念叨死的 he's about to get an earful.
我的天 克莱尔 Oh, my God, Claire.
米奇尔 Mitchell.
等等 你能不能 ‭Wait, can you --
-我觉得 -我不知道该怎么 - I think -- - ‭I don't know how to --
帮下忙 拜托你帮把手 谢谢 Yeah. Help. Please help. Thank you.
好了 ‭All right.
你扮的这是谁 Who are you supposed to be?
我是哈里王子 Ah, I'm Pr-I'm Prince Harry.
这么说难道小卡他 Oh, does that mean Cam is --
都听好了 Hear ye, hear ye,
苏塞克斯公爵夫人驾到 梅根... presenting the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan --
不不不 这些是为胡娇的派对准备的 No, no, no, no, no. That was for Pepper's party.
现在不说了 去安慰你的表亲们吧 We're not doing that anymore. Go console your cousins.
亲爱的 Oh, sweetie.
快来拥抱一下 Let me get in there.
-等一下 -我们之前 - Oh, hang on. Oh -- - We were, um...
-抬起来 -我刚才也遇到了这个问题 - All right, get up. - Yeah, this -- I had the same issue with this.
你... 好了 Just -- Okay, there it is.
亲爱的 ‭Oh, sweetie.
谁想喝一杯 Who needs a drink?
-我 -我 - I do. - ‭I do.
好吧 我们要怎么处理这难题 Okay, how are we gonna handle this?
你是指因为地球上 You mean because the two most
感情最复杂的两个人 emotionally complicated people on earth
正在面对 are facing the loss
失去他们人生中最复杂的亲密关系 of the most complicated relationship of their lives?
这么说可食用的装饰品不能管用 So... not an edible arrangement.
我们只要陪着他们就好 We just have to be there for them.
无论他们需要什么 我 Whatever they need. I --
我只是觉得穿成这样 It just feels inappropriate
-太不合时宜了 -是啊 - being dressed like this. - Yeah.
我该穿件深色沉肩袖的裙子 I should be in something darker with a cap sleeve.
太不真实了 我无法相信 This is so surreal. I-I can't believe this.
在她离世前我才和她通过话 I-I just talked to her right before she left.
要和女性互助组织去格陵兰旅行 She was so excited about her trip to Greenland
她是那么兴奋 with her women's group.
还是不知道她是怎么走的吗 Still no word on what happened?
不知道 杰瑞来电话了 No. Jerry called.
他说她心脏有问题 He said that she had a heart problem
但她不想告诉别人 she didn't want to talk about,
但是还不知道是不是因为这个 but we're still not sure if that's it.
他保证一有答案就联系我们 He did promise to reach out as soon as he has some answers.
我们会尽一切所能支持你们 Well, we're here to support you in any way we can.
是啊 无论你们需要什么都交给我们 Yeah. Anything you need, anything at all, we're on it.
汤 纸巾 Soup? ‭Tissues?
试试这个冥想练习 Try this meditation exercise.
不 你们真的很贴心 我只想... Yeah, no, you guys are being so sweet. I just --
是啊 我们应对悲痛时 Yeah, but w-we cope with things
没有那么多愁善感 a little less touchy-feely
更倾向于 and a little more --
-爱尔兰风格 -没错 没错 - Irish. Yes. - ‭Right. Right.
喝些酒 讲些趣事 You know, have some drinks, tell some funny stories.
记不记得那次妈妈气疯了 Do you remember the time Mom was so mad
因为拉文与雪莉[情景剧角色]搬去了加州 because "Laverne and Shirley" moved to California?
还有 记不记得她过去 Or, no, remember how she used to always
去餐厅时总自带冰块 bring her own ice cubes to restaurants?
天啊 没错 Oh, God, yes!
记不记得她被赶出山达基教[邪教]那次 Remember when she got thrown out of Scientology?
我们的母亲去世了 菲尔 Our mother is dead, Phil.
我以为我们在... I-I thought we were --
或许你们该给我们些空间 Maybe you should just give us a little space?
-好的 好的 -当然 好的 - Yeah. Yeah, sure. - Of course. Yes.
-好的 -好的 - Sure. - ‭Sure.
我不知道大家都对死后的世界有何想法 You know, I don't know how we all feel about the afterlife,
但我愿意想象迪迪 but I myself would like to imagine Dede
被亲人们围绕 听到... surrounded by loved ones, hearing --
欢迎来到地狱 Welcome to hell!
我去关掉门铃 I'll disconnect that doorbell.
老天 Oh, God.
我们本来在外面讨糖果 We were out trick-or-treating with the kids.
-爸爸 -我们把乔留给曼尼照看 - Dad. - We left Joe with Manny,
一听到消息就赶来了 and we came as soon as we heard.
我很遗憾 So sorry.
-你们俩过来 抱抱 -谢谢 爸爸 - Come here, you two. Get in here. - Oh, thanks, Dad.
我知道 等我... 好了 Yeah. I know. You just have to -- Yeah.
我知道你们母亲和我以前有过分歧 Look, I know that your mother and I had our differences,
但她是个好女人 but she was a good woman.
嗯 Yeah.
她... She, uh...
她有一双美腿 Yeah, she had great legs.
你不是吧 只想得出这句悼念词吗 Oh. Really? That's your tribute?
当然不是 她很有教养 Of course not. She was very educated,
她自己常这么说 as she often told me.
她... She, um...uh...
她 She --
我看不下去了 I can't watch this.
简直像看着一条鱼在船底挣扎求生 It's like watching a fish panic at the bottom of a boat.
她给予了你我们 你两个优秀的孩子 Uh, she -- she gave you us, your wonderful children.
对的 为此我永远心怀感激 There you go. And for that I will always be grateful.
是的 我们有很多需要感恩的事 Yeah. We have so much to be grateful for.
她是个很棒的母亲 She was a wonderful mother.
我很庆幸在最后一次跟她打电话时 And I'm -- I am so glad that I was able to tell her that
告诉她了 during our last call.
我当时没想到 And I didn't know it at the time,
但从很多方面来说 那都是最完美的道别 but in a lot of ways, it was the perfect goodbye.
知道她去世的原因吗 Do we know what happened?
还不知道 不过 Not yet, no. But you know what?
-我想被开心的事物围绕 -对 - I need to be around happy things... ‭- Yeah.
比如盛装来讨糖果的可爱孩子们 ...cute kids in costumes trick-or-treating.
我要去给他们发万圣节糖果 I'm gonna go hand out some Halloween candy.
-我没事 我没事 -我跟你一起去 - I'm good! Good, good! - I'm -- I'm coming with you.
-我没事 -我们没事 - I'm good. - We're good.
人做好了计划 Ah, you make plans,
却被老天爷打乱 the universe steps in and says "Nope."
-人生真不公平 -说得对 - Life is so unfair. - Damn right.
我刚刚在街角排队 I just waited in a line around the block
买到网红特大号三明治 for a hoagie everybody's talking about.
就突然得知我前妻死了 Then my ex-wife drops dead,
现在我很难过 吃不下了 and I'm too sad to eat it.
过一小时再吃好了 I'll give it another hour.
你还真"惨"啊 杰 Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss, Jay.
我不知道为什么觉得拿这个出来会有帮助 I don't know why I thought getting this out would help.
那是什么 What is that?
外婆找人做了一些自己的小人偶 Nana had these little statues of herself made.
圣诞节时送给了我们当礼物 They were her Christmas gift to each of us.
我觉得她用我名义在非洲挖的井没那么傻了 Now I feel better about my stupid well in Africa.
你糖吃得很凶啊 Hey. Hitting that candy pretty hard.
上一根棒棒糖你连糖纸一起吞了 You didn't even take the wrapper off the last one.
我很难过 闭嘴 I'm sad. Shut up.
我听说在万圣节那天死的人 I heard that if you die on Halloween,
会变成丧尸复活 you come back as a zombie.
我能想象得出来 I can see that.
外婆狰狞嘶吼 Nana would be all,
"我要吃脑 "Braaainnssss!
这个没脑 我要吃脑" Nope. Braaainnsss!"
我记得外婆 I just remember Nana --
我们小的时候 她会... when we were little, she would --
她会... She would --
老天 你们俩是什么奇葩啊 Oh, my God! What is wrong with you two?!
-干嘛 -我们外婆刚刚去世了 - What? - ‭Our grandmother just died.
卢克在开些没品的笑话 Luke's over here making tasteless jokes,
而你像猪一样猛吃 and you're stuffing your face.
能不能尊重一下她 Show some respect!
你们外婆去世了 我很遗憾 I am so sorry, what happened to your grandmother.
她是个很棒的女人 She was a wonderful woman.
谢谢你 歌洛莉亚 Thank you, Gloria.
终于有人有点正常反应了 Finally, someone with a normal reaction.
外婆不是曾经三次试图勒死你吗 Didn't Nana try to strangle you three times?
是 但其中一次 Yeah, but one of those times,
我濒死时有一刹那再次看到了我 I was able to see again my favorite abuela
最爱的祖母 for one second.
所以我真该感谢迪迪 So I really should thank Dede.
总之 我和你们外婆之间的矛盾 Anyways, any issues that your grandmother had with me,
都过去了 they're behind her.
她现在得到了安宁 去了一个更好的地方 She's at peace. She's living in a better place.
那他妈是什么鬼 What the hell is that?!
很逼真吧 外婆送的圣诞礼物 Mm. Pretty lifelike, right? Christmas gift from Nana.
是吗 很可爱 Ah, it's very cute.
不过真不可思议 我走到哪 But it's amazing how her eyes are --
她眼睛都盯着我 are following me wherever I go!
我知道这话听起来挺疯的 I know that this is going to sound crazy,
不过我一直担心迪迪死后 but I have always worried that when Dede died,
会化成厉鬼回来缠着我 she was going to come back and haunt me.
可能是因为我结婚时 她在我耳边这么说过 Maybe it's because she whispered it to me at my wedding.
万圣节快乐 Happy Halloween.
真可爱 Cute.
你还好吗 You okay?
还好啦 我就是在想 Yeah, I was just thinking about
跟妈妈度过的一次超赞万圣节 this great Halloween with Mom.
我在高中的时候融入不进大家 I wasn't really fitting in in high school,
所以妈妈带我去了 so Mom took me to go get ice cream
在西好莱坞区的一家冰激凌店 at this place in West Hollywood.
而当时那里有同性恋游行 And the parade was going on.
在那之前 我从没去过任何同性恋活动 And before that, I had never been to a gay event.
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat!
给你 万圣节快乐 Here you go. Happy Halloween.
我的重点是 The thing is,
她并没有逼我谈同性恋的事 she didn't force me to talk about it.
她就顺其自然 你懂吗 She just let it be. You know?
我想那大概就是她在告诉我 And I-I think that that was her way of saying
她可以接受我性向 that she was okay with me. ‭
我还记得妈妈曾对我说 I remember once Mom told me
我吃冰激凌的方式像个妓女 that I ate ice cream like a prostitute.
靠 Ugghh, come on. ‭
为什么等到现在 Wh-Why haven't we heard anything yet
都还不知道她到底怎么去世的 about what happened to her?
也太扯了吧 This is ridiculous!
对啊 失去母亲已经够残酷了 I know. It's bad enough we lost our mom.
我们现在还得在这自己乱瞎猜 Now we just have to sit here expecting the worst.
好像听到有一些吼声 Uh, heard some raised voices,
-就来确定... -你们俩都去哪了 - just making... - Where have you guys been?
不知道你们俩有没注意到 Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed,
但我们今天正在为一些事情难过 but we're kind of going through something today.
是你们说想要一点私人空间 Well, you s-said you wanted some space,
-所以我们给你们... -开始跟我们摆道理了吗 - so we were giving you... - So now you're gonna logic us to death?
真棒啊 我们现在就想听人说我们无理取闹 Yeah, yeah, 'cause that's what we need right now.
我完全迷糊了 I am totally confused
-不知道该怎么处理他俩 -我有个主意 - about what we're supposed to do. - No. I have an idea.
米奇尔刚刚才说到跟妈妈那段 Mitchell was just talking about a great memory he had
去西好莱坞吃冰激凌的美好回忆 of Dede taking him for ice cream in West Hollywood.
我们可以去帮他买 这算是完美的致意了 We could go pick some up -- it would be a perfect tribute.
好棒啊 That's great.
而且 我不知为何 就... Plus, I don't know why, but there's --
就觉得克莱尔吃冰激凌的方式 there's something about the way Claire eats ice cream
让我感到十分... 享受 that I just...enjoy.
真希望我还记得那家店叫什么名字 I just wish I could remember the name of it.
-我在查 安德森·一勺珀 -不是 - I'm on it. Anderson Scooper? - No.
安德森·库珀 深受同志群体喜爱的帅气新闻主播
沙漠妖"基"冰激凌 Priscilla Queen of the Desserts?
改自知名电影 主题是3名异装皇后
"冰"特与恩尼 Mnh-mnh. Sherbert and Ernie?
毕特与恩尼是《芝麻街》的角色 有许多人认为他俩是同性伴侣
我记得名字是很具体的 Mnh-mnh. It was something very specific.
西好莱坞冰激凌店吗 West Hollywood Ice Cream Shop?
-就是这家 走吧 -这不是真的吧 - That's it. Let's go. - This can't be happening.
杰 我明白你很难接受 Ohh. ‭Aw, Jay, it's a hard day.
你们说说 Tell me.
我在冰箱里放了一个写我名字的三明治 I put a sandwich in there with my name on it
才放了10分钟 现在就不见了 10 minutes ago, and now it's missing.
-谁他妈吃了 -不是吧 今天这种日子 - Who the hell took it?! - Really? On a day like today,
你居然要为一个三明治火冒三丈吗 you can get this worked up over a sandwich?
-过来 -没事的 - Come here. - Hey. It's okay.
你在闻我们的味道 You're smelling us.
我闻到了愧疚与腌黄瓜味 I smell guilt and pickles.
抱歉 消防员的习惯 Sorry, fireman habit.
你妈妈说你在楼上待着 Your mom said you were up here.
你真是最好的男朋友了 You're the best boyfriend.
这是你外婆吧 That's her, huh?
是的 Yep.
很多人说她很难相处 People said she was difficult,
但她真的是个很棒的女人 but she was an amazing woman
从来不让别人的话 who didn't conform to anyone's idea
影响自己追求本心 of who she should be.
有好多她被人赶出场的照片啊 There are a lot of photos of her being escorted out of places.
是啊 Yeah.
也算好事吧 能知道她... Well, it must feel good to know that --
我不是指真的好事 这事情很糟糕 I mean not good. Everything must feel bad.
对不起 我不太会面对死亡这件事 I'm sorry. I'm bad at this whole death thing.
尽管我在工作中会常常面对死亡 And I see a lot of it at work.
真的 大家每次都不去喂队宠小金鱼 I mean, nobody ever feeds the station goldfish.
不只是你觉得难以面对 It's not just hard for you.
我弟弟一直疯狂在开冷笑话 My brother can't stop cracking jokes,
我姐姐像要冬眠前的熊一样在疯狂大吃 my sister's eating like a bear about to hibernate,
而与此同时 我只能坐在这想着 and meanwhile, I'm just sitting here thinking,
"世事无常 前一秒人还在 一转眼就... "Wow, you're here one second, and then poof...
就不在了" you're not."
我知道你有多难过 I know how sad you must be.
脱了你的上衣 Take off your shirt.
-什么 -算了 - What? -‭Fine.
老娘来指挥 I'll run things.
行行行 很好笑 Okay, very funny!
这是谁干的 Who did this?!
圣母玛利亚 为我们罪人所祈祷 Santa Maria, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores.
在这个有人去世的... ahora y en la hora -- Aah!
圣母玛利亚 为我们罪人所祈祷 Santa Maria, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores.
在这个有人去世的时刻 阿门 ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte. Amen.
艾丽克斯吼我们之后我就没看见过她了 Hey, I haven't seen Alex since she yelled at us.
她在楼上还好吧 Is she okay up there?
听你这么一说 Now that I think about it,
我好像刚才有听到类似她在哭的声音 it did sound like she was crying a minute ago.
我们应该去看看她 她每次都这样 We should check on her. This is classic Alex.
她指责我们对待外婆去世的方式有问题 She's criticizing how we're processing Nana's death
因为她不知道怎么处理她自己的感情 because she doesn't know what to do with her own feelings.
而且其实她比任何人都看得重 Meanwhile, she's taking it harder than anybody.
-出去 -惨了 -Get out! - Oh, that's not good.
你记得小时候 Do you remember when, um,
她不肯出我的声乐课学费 she wouldn't pay for my voice lessons
因为她想把那钱省下来 because she said she wanted to save the money
以防我最后长了和爸爸一样的鼻子 in case I ended up with Dad's nose?
我们今天可以一直说好故事的 You know, we -- we could stick to nice stories today.
妈妈是个真实的人 她也有缺点的 Mom was a real person. She was flawed.
她让我穿裤子去毕业舞会 She made me wear pants to prom.
她说这样 She said it would "slow down"
我不管要"犯什么错"都能拖慢速度 whatever mistake I was about to make.
可能我从来不会引出她的那一面 Well, I guess I never brought out that side of her.
也可能是你总是什么都不跟她计较 Or maybe you just let her get away with everything.
-我 -不给糖就捣蛋 - I -- - Trick or treat!
万圣节快乐 Happy Halloween!
你 你扮的是谁啊 What are you -- What are you supposed to be?
我本来想装扮成独角兽 I was gonna go as a unicorn...
但后来我决定扮成穿睡衣的女孩 ...but then I decided to be pajama girl.
缝了两周白缝了 That was two weeks of sewing well spent.
小孩子总是不了解 Well, kids don't always appreciate
妈妈的苦心 what moms do for them.
妈妈可能控制欲太强了 Moms can be controlling.
有时妈妈不想 Well, sometimes moms don't want
被自己女儿丢人现眼 their daughters to embarrass themselves.
丢脸 Embarrass?
就好比给女儿第一次例假 Like throwing a surprise moon goddess party
举办一个惊喜的月亮女神聚会吗 for their daughter's first period?
那是为了庆祝你开始成长为女人 It was a celebration of your womanhood!
每年我都说不要来这家 Every year I say I'm not coming back to this house.
好吧 就今天 天啊 Okay. Just today -- Oh, God.
就 就今天 能不能 Just -- Just today, could you not harp
不要唠叨妈妈对你有多不好 on how awful Mom was to you?
她是愿意为我们做出任何牺牲的人 She would have done anything for us!
米奇尔 妈妈去世了 Mitchell, just because Mom is dead
并不代表她就是圣人 doesn't make her a saint!
什么 ‭What?
你吓到孩子了 You're scaring the kids.
我有什么问题啊 Ugh. What is wrong with me?
你没问题 Nothing is wrong with you.
你只是个因为悲剧而产生性欲的怪胎 You're just a freak that gets turned on by tragedies.
天啊 这就是我和消防员交往的原因吗 Oh, my God. Is that why I'm dating a firefighter?
宝贝 我希望我对你来说不止如此 Oh, I hope I'm more to you than that, babe.
顺便说下 塔斯廷发生了一起坠机事件 By the way, there was a plane crash in Tustin.
性和死亡之间 You know, there's a deep psycho-spiritual connection
有非常深的心灵联系 between sex and death.
看看弗洛伊德 死神塔纳托斯和爱神厄洛斯 Look at Freud. Thanatos, Eros --
困在永久的挣扎中 locked in an eternal struggle.
你怎么知道这些词汇的 How do you know any of those words?
我不知道 I don't know.
可能我莫名其妙记住了学校学的东西吧 Maybe I remembered something from school somehow.
有人说你听到过的所有东西 They say everything you've ever heard
都存在你大脑里的某处 is locked in your brain somewhere.
还有个有趣的事实 Another fun fact --
你所摄入的卡路里 有20%会被大脑消耗掉 your brain burns 20% of the calories you consume.
我的玉米煎饼 My burrito!
又吃一个吗 Another one?
天啊 Oh, my God.
我想你的大脑终于运转了 I think your brain is finally working
因为有史以来你第一次 because, for the first time ever,
没有饿着自己了 you're not starving yourself.
这是个可靠的假设 That is a credible hypothesis.
吃东西呢 Huh. Eating, are we? Mm.
你们没有刚好把一个意大利英雄三明治 You didn't happen to grab an Italian hero
给拿出冰箱吧 out of the fridge, did you?
没 但听起来很好吃的样子 Nope, but that sounds delicious.
我愿意现在去生吞一个"意大利英雄" I'd go to town on an Italian hero right now.
有意思 因为艾丽克斯刚"生吞"了... That's funny, 'cause Alex just finished --
我会把你的舌头扯掉 I will rip your tongue out.
天啊 Oh, my gosh.
我想什么呢 在万圣节的晚上 What was I thinking coming to West Hollywood
来西好莱坞 on Halloween night?
别按喇叭了 有游行经过 Give the horn a rest. The parade's going by.
你们得在这儿待一会儿了 You're gonna be sitting here a while.
对不起 警官 Sorry, Officer.
我不常到这块儿 I don't get down to this part of town that often.
但那 那不是个真警察 对吧 That's -- That's not a real cop, right?
不是 Uh...mm, no.
真佩服你还穿着那件裙子 You know, I'm impressed you're still wearing that dress.
我穿着两条塑身裤 Oh, well, I'm wearing two pair of Spanx
为了不尿尿 提前48小时开始服用利尿剂 and was on a diuretic for 48 hours.
在我出生的地方 我们说 As we say where I'm from,
你不会教你的狗弹班卓琴 you don't teach your dog to play the banjo
然后不去参加才艺表演 and then skip the talent show.
天啊 Oh, man.
冰淇淋要化了 This ice cream is gonna melt.
拿起勺子吧 Well, grab a spoon.
-总得有人来吃 -没错 - Somebody should enjoy it. - Yeah.
我们太关注在米奇尔和克莱尔身上了 You know, we've been so focused on Mitchell and Claire,
我都没有机会真正缅怀... I haven't had a chance to really...
对 Yeah. I know.
我第一次见她 她威胁我说 First time I met her, she threatened to murder me
要是我敢惹他儿子不开心就杀了我 if I ever made her son unhappy. ‭
而且还说得十分详细 Went into pretty graphic detail --
描述了她要怎么处理掉我的尸体之类的 described how she'd get rid of my body and everything.
我的反应是 ‭I was like, "Wow,
"这个女人永远都不会信任我的" this woman will never trust me."
这太有她的风格了 That's so her.
还有一次 她不小心听到我谈起 Then one time, she overheard me talking
我和我奶奶喝蒲公英酒 about drinking dandelion wine with my -- with my grandma.
她直接走到橱柜那 She went over to the kitchen cabinet
拿出了一瓶 and pulled out a bottle.
原来她有一个阿姨 Apparently, she had an aunt
教会了她怎么酿这种酒 that taught her how to make it.
我们就坐在厨房的桌子旁 And we sat there at the kitchen table
喝着小酒 互相讲述着 drinking and swapping stories
在村里长大的童年故事 about growing up in the boondocks.
虽然那私酿酒害我失明了一会儿 但是 The wine made me go blind for a bit, but...
我永远不会忘记她的声音 ...I'll never forget her voice,
在黑暗中低喃 slurring in the darkness,
告诉我她懂为什么米奇尔爱我 telling me she understood why Mitchell loved me.
我记得第一次送海莉 I remember dropping Haley off at school
去上学的时候 for the first time.
她大大的眼睛凝视着我 Her staring at me with those giant eyes,
嘴唇颤抖着 哭喊着让我留下 her lips quivering, crying for me to stay.
而我 And I, uh...
我告诉她一切都会好的 I told her everything is gonna be all right,
然后我跌跌撞撞地走向自己的车 开始流眼泪 and then I stagger back to my car and I start crying.
我的天 Oh, gosh.
你知道谁在那等我吗 And you know who was there waiting for me?
要是不是迪迪的话 Well, if it's not Dede,
这就是个感人但没什么意义的故事了 it's kind of a touching but pointless story.
是迪迪 It was Dede.
她知道那天我会很不好受 She knew it was gonna be a hard day for me.
我不敢相信她走了 I can't believe she's gone.
我会想她的 I'm gonna miss her.
我也是 Me too.
-敬迪迪 -敬迪迪 - To Dede. - ‭To Dede.
你想谈 那我们就来谈 Okay, you want to talk? Let's talk.
我知道你从来没喜欢过我 I know that you never liked me.
而我一直都很友好 And I was always nice.
好吧 有一次 Okay, fine, one time,
我确实给斯黛拉用了你的牙刷 I did use your toothbrush on Stella.
但是大部分时候 我都钦佩你 But mostly I admired you for raising
养育出这么优秀的子女 并且让杰 such wonderful children and for helping make Jay
成为了一个我深爱的好男人 the amazing man that I fell in love with.
我想我从未因此向你表达过感激 I guess I never thanked you for all of that.
所以 如果你现在能听到我 So, if you can hear me now,
谢谢你 thank you.
另外能麻烦你也告诉罗莎·加西亚 And can you please tell Rosa Garcia
别来缠着我了吗 to stop haunting me, too?
还有玛尔塔·布兰科 And Marta Blanco,
玛莉索·古铁雷斯和塞西莉亚·马托斯 Marisol Gutierrez, and Cecilia Matos?
谢谢 Gracias.
听着 我很抱歉 Look, I'm sorry.
我好像一直想把妈妈说成是坏人 I think I've been trying to make Mom into the bad guy.
但这并不能缓解她去世带来的悲痛 It's not gonna make it any easier.
不是这样的 我觉得很内疚 That's not it. I... I just feel so guilty.
为什么 Why?
因为有的时候 Because sometimes,
我对妈妈很刻薄 就像她对我一样 I was as mean to Mom as she was to me.
她对你那么严格 She was just hard on you
都是因为她太相信你能成才了 because sh-she believed in you so much.
你为什么总是维护她 Why do you always have to defend her?
因为我以前爱她 我 Because I loved her! I...
真不敢相信我已经开始用过去式来说她了 I can't believe I'm saying that in the past tense.
我 我很抱歉我和她的关系更好 I -- I'm sorry that I had a better relationship with her.
如果这让你不爽了 我很抱歉 And I'm -- I'm sorry that it bothered you, okay?
你和爸爸关系更好 You have a better relationship with Dad,
但我知道他也像爱你一样爱我 and I know he loves me just as much.
当爸爸去世的时候 Yeah, and when Dad dies,
他会带着我对他深沉的爱离去 he's gonna leave knowing how much I loved him.
我不确定妈妈知道我爱她 I'm not sure Mom knew that.
她当然知道 Of course she did.
真的吗 Really?
因为不像你 我上次和她聊天的时候 Because unlike you, the last time I talked to her,
我们俩大吵一架 we got in a huge fight.
你能记住你告诉她你爱她 还有欢声笑语 You get to remember telling her you loved her and laughing,
而我只能记住我们因为一个脸书帖子 and I get to remember getting in some stupid argument
胡吵一通 about a Facebook post.
她说把桉树油抹在脚底板上 The one where she said putting eucalyptus oils
能自然避孕的那个吗 on the soles of your feet is a natural birth control?
没错 是的 Yes. Yes.
就是那个 而且你有个 That's the one. And you have
12岁的女儿会读那些帖子 a 12-year-old daughter who reads those posts --
你最好告诉她那不科学 you might want to tell her that's not science.
好了 记得我和妈妈最后那场 Okay, okay, remember that last amazing conversation
-超欢愉的谈话吗 -你可饶了我吧 - I had with Mom? - Oh, for God's sakes.
对不起 但是没有别的方式表达了 I'm sorry, but there's no other way to describe it, okay?
她给我讲了你们吵架的事 她还 She told me about your fight, and she --
她告诉了我自己有多难过 she told me how upset she was.
她 她说她会给你打电话道歉 She -- She said she was gonna call you to apologize.
天啊 Oh, my God.
前几天她给我语音信箱留了言 She left me a voicemail a couple days ago,
我没听 我一直存着 but I was saving it till the next time
等想在公司骂人时 改为骂她 I had to yell at somebody at work.
好 Okay.
亲爱的 是老妈 Hey, honey. It's Mom.
我就是想跟你道歉 I just want to apologize.
我不应该对你情绪失控 I should not have lost my temper.
凤凰羽萨满的避孕方式 Shaman Phoenix Feather's family-planning advice
可能不是所有人都适用 may not be for everyone,
而你也只是想保护自己女儿的安全 and you just want to keep your daughters safe.
我能理解 I get it.
我自己也有亲生闺女 ‭I have a daughter of my own,
我懂女儿能对自己有多重要 and I know how much she means to me.
总之 对不起了 我爱你 我也会永远爱你 Anyway, I'm sorry. I love you, and I always will.
我也爱你 老妈 I love you, too, Mom.
对了 我看到了你在社交媒体新发的照片 Also, I saw your new photo on social media.
你是加入了什么抗议活动 Are you part of some protest
要不洗头来表达抗议之类的吗 where you're not allowed to wash your hair?
还是你只是想要... Or are you just trying to be --
接下来的我等之后听吧 I'm gonna listen to that later.
听到她声音感觉好怪啊 Weird hearing her voice.
老爸 Oh, Daddy.
你已经知道了 但我还是想告诉你 You already know this, but I want to say it again.
我们俩都超级爱你 We both love you so much.
我知道我们之间有过好与不好的时光 Yeah. And I know we've -- we've had our ups and downs,
但我一直很喜欢当你的儿子 but I've loved being your son.
你们这样... Hmm. ‭Are you...
跟我说好话 是因为偷吃了我三明治吗 buttering me up 'cause you ate my sandwich?
你是有什么毛病啊 ‭What is wrong with you?
真的 你这么揪着这三明治的事不放是干嘛 Seriously. What is this obsession with a sandwich?
我辛苦排了队 I waited in line!
我想着要吃好几个月了 I was thinking about it for months!
你知道谁会懂我的纠结吗 You know who would get this?
迪迪 这女人懂得欣赏一个美味三明治 Dede. That woman appreciated a good sandwich.
而她做的三明治天下第一好吃 And she made the best ones, you know,
我们刚结婚那会儿 when we were first married.
还住在谷区的那个小房子里 In that little house in the valley.
那时候我们穷得叮当响 And we didn't have any money,
但她会不辞千里 but she would go miles out of her way
跑去买有美味脆边的吐司 to get the bread with the crunchy crust
是一家法式烘焙店做的 from that French bakery.
外表看起来坚硬 但内里柔软温柔 It was hard on the outside, soft and warm on the inside,
她会说"这吐司像你一样 杰" and she'd say, "That's just like you, Jay."
她当年对我很好 She was nice to me back then.
是啊 Yeah.
说来好笑 我不久前还开车经过那里 It's funny, i happened to drive past there a while ago.
那家烘焙店已经不在了 That bakery's not there anymore.
而我也因此难过了一周吧 And damn if I wasn't depressed for a week.
我以前一直没意识到 You know, I didn't realize...
它对我的意义 ...how much it meant to me
直到失去了才领会到有多重要 till it was gone, you know?
-知道 -懂 - Yeah. - ‭Yeah.
看看这温馨的家庭景象 Look at that beautiful family moment.
是啊 正看着呢 Yeah, look right at it.
我问自己"奶奶今天会想要什么" I asked myself, "What would Nana want today?"
她会想要我去整歌洛莉亚 She'd want me to mess with Gloria.
还有 是我吃了爷爷的三明治 Also, I ate Grandpa's sandwich.
天啊 杰瑞转发了一封电邮给我 Oh, God. Jerry forwarded me an e-mail
是妈的女性互助组织的 from Mom's women's group.
我读不下去 I-I-I can't even read it.
-你来读吧 -好吧 - You do it. I... - Oh, okay.
"我们为你们失去 Um..."Our sincere condolences
你们深爱的迪迪感到遗憾" on the loss of your loved one, Dede."
妈妈到底怎么去世的 What happened to mom?
我看看啊 Let's see.
"在旅行的第三晚 迪迪脱离了队伍并遇到 "On the third night, Dede wondered away from the group and encountered
一群饥饿的灰狼" a pack of starving tinder wolves."
天啊 老妈 Oh my God, Mom.
"想必你们知道 迪迪一直相信她能与动物沟通 "As you know, Dede long believed she could communicate with animals
所以她通过狼嚎与吠叫 so using a mixture of howls and barks,
她成功说服了狼群去找别的食物" she convinced them to seek food elsewhere."
看来这不是死因 我往下看 Guess that wasn't it, let's see.
"之后她没注意薄冰警告并跌入水中" "Later she ignored a thin ice sign and plunged."
别急 "但被狼群里的狼给救了 Hang on, "saved by one of the wolves.
她深深惹怒了一个爱斯基摩人部落 She deeply offended a tribe of inuits
因为她打扰了圣物匕首的安宁 by interrupting a secret dagger...
还曾被鲸鱼所短暂吞噬" Briefly swallowed by whale..."
等等 是这段 "在旅途的最后一天早晨 Wait, here it is. "On the trip's final morning,
她被人在房中所发现 Dede was found in her room.
原来她在睡梦中安详地离开人间了 She had apparently passed peacefully in her sleep.
她的遗容带着一抹微笑 As a smile graced her face.
手里抓着写了10页的 and her hands clutched 10 pages
对酒店员工的建议函" of suggestions for the hotel staff."
太像她会做的事了 That is so mom.
你悠着点 Easy.