m 211 -8 b 217 -6 217 -4 217 -2 l 217 24 b 217 26 217 29 211 31 l 31 31 b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b 208 0 229 21 229 50 l 229 179 b 229 208 208 228 179 228 l 50 228 b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 325 0 l 355 0 l 332 47 l 354 47 l 399 136 l 369 136 l 328 53 l 288 136 l 257 136 l 325 0 m 467 0 l 497 0 l 474 47 l 496 47 l 541 136 l 511 136 l 470 53 l 430 136 l 399 136 l 467 0 m 545 1 l 583 1 l 583 14 l 568 14 l 568 19 l 583 19 l 583 30 l 568 30 l 568 34 l 599 34 l 599 30 l 583 30 l 583 19 l 599 19 l 599 14 l 583 14 l 583 1 l 611 1 b 616 1 622 6 622 10 l 622 36 l 652 0 l 678 0 l 644 41 l 622 41 l 622 47 l 596 47 l 597 54 l 625 54 l 625 68 l 541 68 l 541 54 l 572 54 l 571 47 l 545 47 l 545 1 m 583 72 l 583 85 l 569 85 l 569 90 l 598 90 l 598 85 l 583 85 l 583 72 l 611 72 b 615 72 621 78 621 82 l 653 44 l 678 44 l 644 86 l 621 86 l 621 103 l 597 103 l 597 136 l 570 136 l 564 126 l 562 136 l 542 136 l 548 107 l 568 107 l 565 121 l 571 121 l 571 103 l 547 103 l 547 72 l 583 72 m 600 107 l 620 107 l 624 124 l 653 89 l 679 89 l 642 136 l 615 136 l 618 132 l 606 132 l 600 107 m 689 0 l 716 0 l 721 15 l 732 15 l 732 30 l 718 56 l 731 56 l 735 100 l 721 100 l 717 59 l 714 64 l 714 136 l 693 136 l 693 79 l 676 79 l 707 30 l 679 30 l 679 15 l 694 15 l 689 0 m 738 0 l 804 0 b 807 0 813 6 813 9 l 813 87 l 794 87 l 794 14 l 756 14 l 756 87 l 763 77 l 763 21 l 787 21 l 787 91 l 798 91 l 798 120 l 820 120 l 812 136 l 778 136 l 778 90 l 748 136 l 723 136 l 756 87 l 738 87 l 738 0 m 257 151 l 275 151 l 297 182 l 319 151 l 337 151 l 304 197 l 304 227 l 290 227 l 290 197 l 257 151 m 337 151 l 355 151 l 377 182 l 399 151 l 417 151 l 384 197 l 384 227 l 370 227 l 370 197 l 337 151 m 425 192 l 447 192 b 445 181 427 181 425 192 l 410 192 b 414 162 458 162 462 192 l 462 206 l 425 206 b 425 210 429 212 433 213 l 462 213 l 462 227 l 433 227 b 412 227 408 203 410 192 m 462 151 l 532 151 l 532 165 l 504 165 l 504 227 l 489 227 l 489 165 l 462 165 l 462 151 m 580 172 l 580 186 l 549 186 b 543 186 543 192 549 192 l 565 192 b 589 192 589 227 565 227 l 532 227 l 532 213 l 565 213 b 570 213 570 206 565 206 l 549 206 b 524 206 524 172 549 172 l 580 172 m 592 213 l 606 213 l 606 227 l 592 227 l 592 213 m 639 172 l 665 172 l 665 186 l 639 186 b 623 186 623 213 639 213 l 665 213 l 665 227 l 639 227 b 603 227 603 172 639 172 m 700 184 b 722 184 722 215 700 215 l 700 229 b 740 229 740 170 700 170 b 660 170 660 229 700 229 l 700 215 b 680 215 680 184 700 184 m 737 172 l 782 172 b 803 172 813 177 813 198 l 813 228 l 799 228 l 799 198 b 799 186 793 187 782 187 l 782 228 l 768 228 l 768 187 l 752 187 l 752 228 l 737 228 l 737 172
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com 仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 38 -1 l 44 6 l 38 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 洗七里 Flora哎呀呀
翻译 油腻希 无伤大雅赛太公
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 三水
后期 瓜瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第七集
米奇尔 你醒了吗 Oh, Mitchell. Are you awake?
醒了 楼上的女士好像叫了一声 Yeah, I think the lady upstairs just screamed.
-我们该去看看她吗 -不 是我叫的 - Should we check on her? - No, that was me.
我刚刚淋浴时发生了很可怕的事 Something terrible just happened in the shower.
天啊 你又乱刮什么地方的毛了 Oh, God. What did you try to shave?
不 是我忘了 No, I forgot
《谢天谢地我是乡下男孩》的歌词 the words to "Thank God I'm A Country Boy."
好吧 两分钟前 我还在梦中 Okay, two minutes ago, I was on the back
和007丹尼尔·克雷格骑雪上摩托 of a snowmobile with Daniel Craig.
米奇尔 我整个童年都在唱那首歌 Mitchell, I sang that song my entire childhood.
假如我忘记了歌词 If I can't remember the lyrics,
说明我完全忘记了自己的根 that means I've lost complete touch with my roots.
我怎么会让这种事发生 How could I let this happen?
别对自己这么严苛 Don't be so hard on yourself.
我没有 这大部分都要怪你 I'm not. This is mostly your doing.
我该猜到你会这么说 Should have seen that coming.
你用羞辱赶走了我心中的乡下男孩 You have shamed the country boy out of me.
我一说"大伙儿"和"可劲儿"你就翻白眼 You roll your eyes when I say "y'all" or "fixin'".
还逼我把晒衣绳丢了 You made me take down our clothesline.
我只是叫你挂到后院去 I just asked that we put it in the backyard.
你知道我必须怎样做 You know what I have to do.
-重新记歌词 -养只鸡 - Relearn the lyrics to -- - Get a chicken.
显然 没有法律条文规定 So, apparently, there's no legal reason
我们不能在后院养鸡 why we can't have a chicken in our backyard,
我很彻底地查过资料 and-and I did a real deep dive.
这是厨房 我们最近重装修过 Okay, so this is the kitchen, which we recently remodeled.
习惯他这副臭脸 Get used to that.
这是客厅 Okay, this is the living room.
好了 到时你和妈坐在椅子上 Okay, so, you and Mom will be in the chairs.
我 海莉和卢克坐在沙发上 Me, Haley, and Luke will be on the couch.
面试官就坐在这 And the interviewer will be right here.
艾丽克斯正在申请一份享有声望的政府工作 Alex is up for a very prestigious government job
需要进行家庭面试 that requires a family interview.
以防他们带了那种记忆消除器 In case they bring one of those memory zappers,
我把所有相关信息都写在胳膊上了 I've Sharpied all the pertinent information on my arm --
个人识别码之类的 PIN numbers, et cetera.
亲爱的 你不是真心觉得他们会 Oh, honey, you don't think that they're really going to --
别担心 妹子 我把你也写上了 Oh, do not worry, little lady. I got you covered.
克莱尔 妻子
假如你真的想给面试官留个好印象 If you really want to impress the interviewer,
不如不经意地把这张我在健身房捡到的 why don't you try casually leaving out this completed
填满的《纽约时报》填字谜放在桌上 New York Times crossword that I found at the gym?
参加枪战只带把刀怎么行 Why bring a knife to a gun fight?
不如我把传家宝摆出来吧 How about I lay out the family heirloom?
1931年 曾祖父泰德·邓菲 1931. Great-grandpa Ted Dunphy
在一个雾蒙蒙的夜晚从莫德斯托驱车南下 is driving south from Modesto one foggy evening.
他让一个抛锚的摩托司机搭了便车 He picks up a stranded motorist
把他送到一间加油站 and drives him to a gas station.
那个人没钱 所以泰德帮他付了油钱 The man has no money, so Ted pays for his gas.
那个人在餐巾纸上画了张速写感谢他 The man thanks him with a quick drawing on a cocktail napkin.
你瞧 那个人 是迪士尼创办人华特·迪士尼 For you see, that man... was Walt Disney.
而这位眼熟的小伙子 就是米老鼠 And this familiar fellow is Mickey Mouse.
不必摆出填字谜或传家宝 二位 Yeah, no thanks on the heirloom or the crossword, guys.
一切从简 好吗 Let's keep it simple, okay?
亲爱的 放松 你这么棒 Honey, relax. You're awesome.
肯定会很顺利的 It's gonna go great.
只要我们先把这张椅子搬回到 Just as soon as we get this chair back
自我们住进来起就没变过的位置 to where it's been ever since we've lived in this house.
妈 拜托你别再控制一切了好吗 Mom, can you please stop managing everything?
就像她把我的帽子收藏清理掉 You mean like when she cleaned my hat collection
以防面试官检查衣柜时看到它们 out of the front closet in case the interviewer looked in there?
亲爱的 你从不戴那些帽子 Honey, you never wore those hats,
慈善机构收下时特别开心 and the charity was glad to get them.
或许你该把我的梦想也一起捐了 Maybe you should have also donated my dream
例如某天去肯塔基赛马 of one day going to the Kentucky Derby
或去黑人教堂过复活节[都要戴帽子] or Easter at a black church.
艾丽克斯 小贴士 面试时记得微笑 Hey, Alex. Quick tip. Smile during the interview.
我最近在心理课上 I've been learning a lot about
学了不同人格类型 different personality types in my psych course,
你算是教科书级的边缘类型了 and you're kind of textbook borderline --
高智商 没有共情能力 all brains, no empathy.
卢克 你这么努力学习 You know, Luke, we are so very proud
我们都很骄傲 of all the hard work you're doing,
我也很期待你学完第二章后 and I look forward to hearing your insights
会有什么样的见解 when you finish chapter two.
不过目前而言 或许你可以先把书收起来 But for now, maybe you could just put that book away.
我就知道你会这么说 No surprise you'd say that.
控制狂 强迫症 Controlling, obsessive --
典型的指挥官人格类型 classic Commandant personality type.
挨损了吧 Ooh, burn.
成熟点吧 海莉 Oh, grow up, Haley.
可怜的是 她做不到 Sadly, she can't.
这就是彼得·潘人格的困境 Such is the plight of the Peter Pan personality.
你是说海莉拒绝长大 我不相信 You're saying Haley refuses to grow up? I don't believe that.
接着说到另一种类型 梦想家 Which brings us to another type, the Dreamer --
白日做梦 总是很天真 很好骗 head in the clouds, tends to be naive, gullible.
你现在变聪明了我真开心 I love that you're smart now.
这就是经典的比赛日早餐 That's your classic game-day breakfast --
碳水 纤维 蛋白质 your carbs, fiber, your protein.
要是再来一口白兰地 You throw a shot of brandy in there,
你就能参加67年的橄榄球全国锦标赛了 you'll be ready to play in the Ice Bowl.
我不吃甜菜 过去不吃 今后也不吃 I don't eat beets. Never have, never will.
你两岁时连硬币和蝴蝶都吃 When you were 2, you ate a dime and a butterfly.
现在你的身体倒成圣殿了 Now your body is a temple?
他可以在车上吃个蛋白质棒 He can eat a protein bar in the car.
我们还得去接住得远的选手 We still have to pick up some players that live far away.
歌洛莉亚 这可不行 Gloria, this is not okay.
教练
是合法的 It's legal.
他家在这个区有邮政信箱 They have P.O. Boxes in the district.
再说 每个人都钻空子 And besides, everybody bends the rules.
我发誓另外那队的守门员 I swear the goalie from the other team
还当过我的滴滴司机 来接过我 has been my Uber driver.
歌洛莉亚 我在想办法让这孩子吃蔬菜 Gloria, I'm trying to get the kid to eat his vegetables.
你得帮我一把 I could use a little support.
你怎么还没换衣服 Why aren't you dressed?
你今天得给两场比赛当裁判 You're supposed to referee two games today.
我告诉过你我不想当裁判 I told you I don't want to do that!
我今晚要看拳击赛 I got my boxing match tonight.
再说 那些裁判制服傻死了 Besides, those ref outfits are stupid.
挺挺就过去了 没事的 Walk it off. You're fine.
-快点 乔 -你没听出这话中的毛病了吗 - Move it, Joe. - You're not hearing that?
海莉 跟我们说说艾丽克斯 So, Haley, you tell us about Alex.
和天才同住一间房可不容易 Well, it was not easy sharing a room with a genius.
她总是熬夜读书 计算 She was always up reading and calculating,
但她也激励了我 but she also inspired me.
21岁时 我对自己说 When I turned 21, I said,
"海莉 你是时候做个独立的女人了" "Haley, time to be your own woman,"
于是我搬进了地下室 and I moved into the basement.
抱歉 我无意打断 I'm sorry. I don't-I don't mean to interrupt,
但我不断回想 but I just keep replaying
我就育儿方式问题给你的回答 my answer to you about my parenting style.
不必多想 Oh, don't give it a second thought.
可当我说我想永不回头地逃命去 But when I said I wanted to run away and never come back,
那只是个玩笑 that was a joke.
-当然 -我知道 - Yeah, absolutely. ‭- I know.
只不过你很认真地记下来了 It's just that you wrote it down like --
-妈 别想了 -好 - Mom, let it go. - Okay.
艾丽克斯 So, Alex,
我知道你夏天是在洪都拉斯过的 I see you spent your summer in Honduras.
你还进行过哪些激励人心的旅行 Any other travel that inspired...
邓菲太太 Mrs. Dunphy?
假如你能在我的笑话旁 If you could maybe just make a little, like, L-O-L
小小写上一笔"爆笑" 就很清楚了 next to my joke, so then it's super clear.
澳大利亚 我去哥斯达黎加露营过 Australia, a camping trip to Costa Rica,
-还在欧洲过了一个月 -很出众 - and a month in Europe. - Excellent.
她的确继承了旅行癖的血统 Well, she does come by her wanderlust honestly.
孩子们都知道我高中时的旅行 The kids here all know about my high school trip
我去了苏联 to the Soviet Union.
是 但是她不需要听那些 Yeah, but she doesn't need to hear about that.
-别 请讲 继续 -在冷战胶着时期 - No, please. Continue. - In the depths of the Cold War,
我的蹦床队参与了文化交流活动 my tumbling team was part of a cultural exchange.
我和一个叫塞奇的蹦床家成为了朋友 I became friends with a Russian tumbler named Sergei
他想了解美国的一切 who wanted to hear all about the U.S.
他让我回家后给他发照片 He asked me to -- to send pictures when I got home,
而且不是景点那种 and not just touristy stuff.
塞奇对日常的东西很感兴趣 Sergei was interested in ordinary things --
机场啦 发电厂啦 火车站啦 uh, airports, um, power plants, train stations.
他们家是做栅栏[防御]生意的 His family was in the fence business.
他说我们的军队有全世界 He said our military had the best fencing...
最优秀的防护 ...in the world.
我一定有给他发起码50张 I must have sent him 50 pictures
彭德尔顿军营的周边图 of the perimeter of Camp Pendleton.
总之 我们不想占用您一整天的时间 Anyway, we don't want to take up your whole day.
不然您就没空详细写好报告了 You wouldn't have time to write up your report,
您可以把报告的标题写成"艾丽克斯·邓菲 which you could title "Alex Dunphy:
出淤泥而不染的那朵莲花" The Apple that fell very far from the Tree."
-非常感谢你们 我们会保持联系的 -谢谢您 -Thank you all very much. We will be in touch. -Thank you.
-谢谢 -好 再见 -Thank you. -Okay, bye-bye.
再见 聊得很愉快 Bye. ‭Fun chatting.
知道吗 我们邓菲家只要想 You know what? We Dunphys clean up
就没有做不好的事 对吧 pretty well when we want to, don't we?
你在搞笑吗 Are you kidding me?
妈 你就非得对她的笔记本犯强迫症吗 Mom, did you really have to OCD all over her notebook?
还有你 吹嘘自己这么大还赖在家里住 And you, bragging about
都多大了 快30了吧 still living at home at, like, what? 30?
还有爸你 真是干得漂亮 And Dad, well done.
没有什么比得上自己老爹是个俄罗斯间谍 There's nothing that cinches a government job
更能把握住政府工作的机会了 like finding out your dad was a Russian spy!
卢克说得太对了 Luke was right about all of you.
指挥官 彼得潘 梦想家 Commandant, Peter Pan, Dreamer.
谢谢 亚历山德拉 在这个家里 Thank you, Alexandra. It's not easy
当个聪明人可不容易 being the smart ones in this family.
别拿你跟我比 Don't compare us!
你上一次的英语论文拿回来的时候 Your last English paper came back
贴了个"加油"加菲猫贴纸 with a Garfield sticker on it that said "Way to go!"
那是她给的第二好的贴纸了 That's the second highest sticker she gives out!
又一个新鲜鸡蛋 下蛋公主的恩赐 Another fresh one, courtesy of Princess Layer.
谐音Princess Leia《星球大战》中的莉娅公主
又取一个新名字 Another new name?
她已经当过蛋格·莱恩和麻辣鸡了 She's already been Egg Ryan and Chicky Minaj.
谐音女演员梅格·莱恩 与歌手妮琪·米娜 即麻辣鸡
我知道拥有一只鸡不是你的梦想 I know having a chicken isn't your dream.
但是如果这能让你好受一些的话 But if it makes you feel any better,
我觉得我重新发现了自己 I think I know who I am again.
是一个讨厌鸡的人 A person who hates chickens!
它们又脏又蠢得要死 They are filthy and beyond stupid.
等我一找到发票 The momennt I can find the receipt,
就要退回这只鸡 I am returning that chicken.
但是我不打算告诉米奇尔 But I'm not gonna let Mitchell know because,
因为就像那只麻烦鸟 我也是个惹事精 like that vile bird, I made a big stink.
我们又没有鸡食了 Oh. We're out of chicken feed again?
今天我学校有个 I have a meeting at the school today
和返校日委员会的会议 with the homecoming committee.
如果投票没错的话 If polling is correct,
新的皇后是坐轮椅的女孩 the new queen is gonna be in a wheelchair,
放气球的环节超支 没预算弄残疾坡道了 and we already blew our ramp budget
所以能不能麻烦你去... on a balloon drop, so could you maybe --
小卡 这是我这周第三次 Cam, this will be my third trip
去谷物饲料店了 to the feed and grain store this week.
我们说好了 We agreed that you'd be the one
由你来照顾这只讨厌鬼 to take care of this awful thing.
我从未真正感觉到和动物有感情联系 I've never really felt a connection to animals,
但是那只鸡很特别 but there's just something about that chicken.
那深情的双眼 紧张的小动作 The soulful eyes, the nervous movements,
头顶上可爱的红红小鸡冠 the cute little splash of red on top.
她真是太可爱了 She's just likeable.
另外 我超爱去那家饲料店 Plus, I love going to that feed store.
我一走进那扇门 就跟他们成了一路人 T-The second I walk through the door, I'm one of them.
-雷猴啊 鲍比 -你好 - Howdy, Bobby. - ‭Hey.
闻起来像下过雨 Smells like rain.
你怎么这么快就又回来了 What are you doing back so soon?
对 我告诉过你一次应该 Yeah, I told you you got to buy
多买几包饲料 more than one bag of feed at a time.
没事 不麻烦 No, it's no bother.
没事 从农田里出来透透气挺好的 No, it's nice to get out of the field,
还能远离鸡 群 away from the chicken...s.
晚上猴啊 Evenin'.
问题是我不能让小卡知道 The problem is I can't let Cam know
我很享受这种乡绅生活 that I'm enjoying my new life as a gentleman farmer.
我们俩整段恋情里 I-I've spent our whole relationship
我都在试图打压他的乡野气质 trying to tamp down his farm-ness.
他就差这点鼓励 Ugh, it's all the encouragement he'd need
就要举家搬到密苏里乡下当"王老先生"[儿歌]了 to -- to move us to Missouri and go full Old MacDonald.
咿呀咿呀不要哟 E-I-E-I-no.
我没给门上闩吗 天啊 Did I leave that unlatched? Oh, God.
鸡妮弗 鸡妮弗 Hennifer? Hennifer?!
你是雷德利吗 我是一点钟比赛的裁判 Hey, are you Ridley? I'm reffing the 1:00 game.
我的热狗代金券是比赛之前还是之后给 Hey, do I get my voucher for a hot dog before or after?
你的哨子呢 Oh...Hey. You got your whistle?
靠 我忘带了 Oh, damn. I forgot it.
迟到 还没带哨子 你对这比赛的尊敬在哪 Late and no whistle? Where's your respect for the game?
在某个橄榄球场上吧 On a football field somewhere.
-不然你借我你的 -你开什么玩笑 - Hey, what do you say I borrow yours? ‭- Are you kidding?
我刚因为接吻病而停了六周课 I just lost six weeks of school to mono.
你负责第四区 You're on field 4.
行了 我们快点了事吧 All right. Let's get this over with.
你是我比赛的裁判吗 You are the referee for my game?
你对足球一点都不懂 You don't know anything about soccer.
这话留着去跟逼我到这的女人说吧 Take that up with the lady who forced me into this.
好了 紫队 我们出发 Okay, purple, let's go!
乔 芬恩 克莱德 前锋 Joe, Finn, Clyde up front!
卢卡斯 迪伦 查德 后卫 Lucas, Dylan, Chad in the back!
伊斯特芬 守门 Estefan, in goal!
我猜伊斯特芬是那个 I'm guessing that Estefan is the kid
住得大老远的孩子 who lives out of the district?
他的腿毛比我都多 His legs are hairier than mine,
而且我觉得他戴了个婚戒 and I think he was wearing a wedding ring.
我们开始吧 新手 Let's get this party started, rookie.
好吧 你不吹哨他们不会开始的 Okay, they won't start unless you use the whistle.
吹哨 吹哨 Whistle! Whistle!
克莱德 空档 进球了 Clyde, it's open! Yes!
吹哨 不算分 紫队越位 Whistle! No goal! Purple offside!
越位 你瞎了吗 Offside? Are you blind?
他说的对 红队从球现在的位置罚球 He's right. Free kick for red right where the ball is.
对 红队从球现在的位置罚球 Yes, free kick for red right where the ball is.
预备 吹哨 And...whistle.
几周以来第一次 歌洛莉亚得听我的 For the first time in weeks, Gloria had to listen to me.
我说了算 雷德利这么说的 I was in charge. Ridley said so.
得分 太棒了 Goal, yes!
教练 比分要太超前了 Coach, you're running up the score.
你得换一个弱一点的队员 You got to sub in some of your weaker players.
那个戴着颈枕的孩子吧 这种一般都弱 How about this kid with the neck pillow? It's usually a tip-off.
我不是在超前 我是在赢 I'm not running up the score. I'm winning.
你要么换人 要么走人 You either make the substitution or you are leaving my field.
够了 吹哨 That's it! Whistle!
你被驱逐出场了 You're out of here!
吓不倒我 Doesn't frighten me.
这样呢 How about that?
有点吓人 A little bit.
你好 海莉 什么事 Oh, hey, Haley. What's up?
其实我有点生家里人的气 I'm kind of mad at my family, actually.
他们一直说我有彼得潘人格 They keep saying I have one of those Peter Pan personalities,
所以 计划有变 so, um, change of plans.
我们去看戏剧 不看马戏团了 We're going to a play, not the circus.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
迪伦 别大惊小怪 Dylan, don't make a thing out of this.
那头大象不会记得你去年答应过 The elephant's not going to remember
今年要去看他的 you promised to see him next year.
不是 海莉我是听不清 信号不好 No, Haley. I-I can't hear you. Bad reception.
我往前开一点 Let me move up.
艾丽克斯说对了吗 Was Alex right?
我不知不觉中成了... 泄露机密的间谍吗 Had I been an unwitting -- an unwitting spy?
我甚至翻出以前旅行时俄罗斯报纸 I even dug out an old article they'd done on me
刊登的关于我的旧文章 in a Russian newspaper during my trip.
塞奇告诉我文章标题是 Sergei told me the headline said,
《年轻杂技演员的友谊使命》 "Young Tumbler's Mission of Friendship."
但用谷歌翻译扫描翻出来的 A quick scan into Google Translate
真正意思是 revealed the truth --
《知名杂技演员谴责西方》 "Famous Tumbler Denounces the West."
我需要呼吸新鲜空气 让脑子清醒清醒 I needed some fresh air to clear my head.
我念高中时有那么好骗吗 Had I been that big a dupe in high school?
如果我真那么傻 And if so, what was stopping them
又有什么能阻止他们再次利用我 from trying to use me again today?
邓菲先生 Hey, Mr. D!
你好啊 哥们 Hey, hey, hey! What's up, buddy?!
快把你逼疯了 对吧 指挥官 Makes you crazy, doesn't it, Commandant?
没有 No.
这么说你没打算把椅子搬正 So you weren't about to straighten that chair?
因为如果世间万物不是井然有序 Because if the whole world isn't completely ordered,
你就会感觉被万蚁噬心 it feels like your skin is on fire?
这真是不折不扣的空谈[椅子]心理学 This is literally armchair psychology.
卢克 你对我的评价很正确 我就是个梦想家 Luke, your label for me was spot on. I am a Dreamer.
不 更糟 我是容易受骗的蠢材 No, worse, I'm a -- I'm a patsy,
好傻好天真的呆瓜 a mark, a full-on sucker!
菲尔 冷静点 你才不是好骗的笨蛋 Phil, calm down. You're not a dupe.
快坐下 Have a seat.
真可悲 Sad.
-大家好啊 -迪兰 帽子不错啊 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Dylan. Sweet lid.
-多少钱买的 -不要钱 - What did it cost you? ‭- Zilch.
有人扔了很多帽子在街对面的垃圾桶里 Someone threw a bunch of them in the trash across the street.
海莉在楼下等你呢 So, uh, Haley's waiting for you downstairs.
等等 我以前也有顶类似的巴拿马草帽... ‭Hang on. I used to have a Panama that looked a little like --
还有我的软呢帽 And my fedora!
你之前骗我说要捐给"阳敏秃美组织" You duped me into believing we were donating them to ISSBA,
其实是要把帽子都丢到垃圾堆 and you were just gonna throw them in the trash.
但这举动伤害的不只是我 克莱尔 But this doesn't just hurt me, Claire.
还有那些"对阳光敏感的 What about the poor people at the Institute
秃头美国人协会"的成员... for Sun-Sensitive Bald... Americans?
对不起 我很抱歉 菲尔 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Phil.
只是那个女人要来采访我们 It's just that woman was coming and the interview --
家里到处杂乱无章 and there was all that clutter.
我有病 告诉他 卢克 I'm sick. Tell him, Luke.
省省吧 克莱尔 你跟其他人都一样 Save it, Claire. You think of me what everyone thinks of me.
觉得我是个逢被骗必中招的死蠢 I'm a rube, a pigeon, a greenhorn.
好了 迪兰 去换身衣服 把帽子摘了 Okay, Dylan. Let's get you changed and lose the hat.
阻挡别人视线很没礼貌 It's rude to block people's views
毕竟我们下午要去... where we'll be spending our afternoon...
大人才会去的剧院 at an adult theater.
我们都知道 I mean, we all knew
底下还有第三顶帽子的 对吧 there was gonna be a third one, right?
-老子不知道 -好吧 - I didn't! ‭- Okay.
-我一定是忘把门闩上了 -很有可能 - I must have left the latch open. - You probably did.
我... 我知道那只鸡对你有多重要 I -- I know how much that chicken means to you.
非常重要 So much.
如今发生了如此悲痛的事 And now something this painful --
我都不知道以后还有没有勇气再养鸡了 I-I don't think I could have a chicken again ever.
等等 有监控录像 Wait, wait. T-The security camera.
我们可以查出到底发生了什么 We can -- We can find out exactly what happened.
对 我忘了有这个 Oh, yeah. I...forgot about that.
米奇尔 米奇尔 等等 等等 Mitchell, Mitchell, wait, wait.
你不习惯面对农场生活的残酷现实 You're not used to the harsh realities of farm life.
这些动物 看起来都很可爱 All these animals -- they seem so sweet,
但一旦表现出软弱的一面 就会招来屠杀 but it's a bloodbath at the first sign of weakness,
就像我们跟朋友吃饭时 like dinner with our friends
有一个人起身离席后 会发生腥风血雨 when one person gets up from the table.
老天 好吧 你来看 Oh, my God. Okay, well, you -- you look
-然后告诉我发生了什么 -好 - and tell me what happened. - ‭Okay.
等会告诉我 我离席后他们说了我什么坏话 And later, tell me what people say when I leave the table.
好了 暂时无事发生 Okay, well, nothing happening yet.
其实 我想亲眼看看 Okay, you know, I want to see.
不不不 别 No. No, no, no. Don't.
不好 糟糕 Oh, no. Oh, no.
-有东西进来后院了 -是什么 - Something's come into the backyard. - ‭What?
好像是只浣熊 I think it's a raccoon.
-苍天啊 场面好血腥 -天啊 - OhOh th-- Oh, the horror! - ‭Oh, my God!
不 不 她在反抗 No, no. No, she's fighting.
她在反抗 米奇尔 拼尽全力 She's fighting, Mitchell, with every fiber...
-没错 -凭借她不屈不挠的弱鸡斗志 - That's right. - ...of her indomitable chicken-y spirit.
结束了 老天 And it's over. Oh, gosh.
这是餐厅剧院制作的 由退役球星 Well, that's the worst farm calamity I've seen
阿布杜尔·贾巴尔主演的音乐剧《俄克拉荷马》后 since a dinner theater production of "Oklahoma!"
我看过的最惨不忍睹的农场惨剧 starring Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
删除 Delete. Hmm.
尸体在哪 Where's the body?
被拖走了 Um, dragged off.
那她说不定还活着 Well, then she could still be alive!
我们必须去找她 W-We have to look for her.
拿上她最喜欢的尖叫玩具 Okay. G-Grab her favorite squeak toy.
好吧 哪一个 Okay, well, which -- which one?
松鼠·邓波儿还是狮奥纳多·迪卡普里奥 Squirrely Temple or Lionardo DiCaprio?
怎么感觉你一点都不了解她 It's like you don't even know her.
"绝望的酒鬼... 破碎的生活 破碎的梦想" "Dead-end alcoholics...broken lives, and broken dreams..."
完全没提到蜘蛛侠 Nope, nothing about Spider-Man.
来的一定是另外一个冰人 不是蜘蛛侠的朋友 Must be a different Iceman that cometh.
其实是名剧作家尤金·奥尼尔所著的 《送冰的人来了/The Iceman Cometh》
没关系 说不定也很好看 That's okay. It could still be good.
《送冰的人来了》
可是 迪兰 你不能再盯着 But, Dylan, you have to stop looking
那边的嘉年华了 at the carnival over there.
抱歉 但如果我知道之后 I'm sorry, but it just might be easier to enjoy
我们会"行"去那边 "耍"碰碰车 this unsparing look at life's castoffs
我会更容易欣赏 if I knew that afterwards,
这出描绘人生失败者的 we were gonna walketh over there
残忍戏剧 and goeth to the bumper cars.
我只是要你花... I'm literally asking for only...
四个半小时 4 1/2 hours?
我知道你想证明我们是成熟的大人 Look. I know you want to prove that we're mature adults,
但你看看排队的人 but look at this line.
我们在这里就是年轻人 We are the young people here.
然而 Whereas...
在嘉年华那边 我们就会是 At the carnival, we'd be, like,
年纪最大的人 the oldest people there?
我能提醒你 上次他们押送我们 May I remind you what they said to us last time
离开球池时 说了什么吗 when they escorted us out of the ball pit?
"不好意思 这个娱乐设施不是给..." "Excuse me, but this attraction really isn't for..."
"成年人玩的" "adults." ‭
-我的夫人 -我的迪兰 - M'lady. ‭- M'Dylan.
好了 我们需要谈谈 Okay, we need to talk.
我们当然得好好谈一下 You bet we need to talk.
我把你赶出比赛 是我过分了 I was out of bounds throwing you out of that game.
你把我赶出比赛 当然过分了 You bet you were out of bounds throwing me out of that game.
但一切都是我的错 杰 But it was all my fault, Jay.
一切当然都是我的错 杰 You bet it was all my fault, Jay --
别用兔八哥那招陷害我重复你说的话 Don't Bugs Bunny me.
好吧 我们都喜欢当掌控全局的人 Okay. So we both like to be in charge.
但关系到乔时 我们能不能立场一致 But when it comes to Joe, can we both be on the same page?
比如今早我试着劝他 Like this morning when I was trying to get him
吃蔬菜时 支持我一下 to eat his vegetables? Back me up.
我就知道我该扔了那些甜菜根 I knew I should have thrown away those beets!
太蠢了 我是4岁小屁孩吗 Stupid. What am I, 4?
我们好像是没能树立起正确的榜样 I guess we're not setting a very good example.
没错 我们对对方说不 Exactly! When we say no to each other,
他就认为他可以对我们说不 he thinks he can say no to us.
对 比如他的功课 上床睡觉时间 Yeah, like for his homework, his bedtime --
或者重要的事 例如吃有营养的食物 Or something important like eating those nutritious...
-吹哨 -吹哨 - Whistle! - ‭Whistle!
菲尔 Phil, look.
帽子的事我骗了你 很抱歉 I'm really sorry I lied to you about the hats.
但凭良心说 你的确是会... But in all fairness, you do have a tendency to --
又来了 又要说我舍不得丢东西吗 This again? How I can't throw anything away?
我们家有录了100集的《囤积狂》节目 We have 100 episodes of "Hoarders" on DVR
你想看随时都能看 in case you want to watch them again.
我的重点不在这里 That's not what this is about.
是无论谁跟我说什么 This is about me blindly believing
我都会盲目相信 whatever anybody tells me.
你这样太苛责自己了 You're being too hard on yourself.
你总想看到人最好的一面 You want to see the best in people.
并不代表你就真的什么鬼话都会信啊 It doesn't mean you're gonna believe just anything.
真的吗 那你说说我们珍爱的传家宝 Really? What about our beloved family heirloom?
-克莱尔 -怎么 - Claire? - ‭Hmm?
这是真货吗 还是我只是第四代的邓菲傻子 Is this real, or am I just a fourth-generation Dunphy dummy?
米奇的肩膀的确有些过壮 Well, uh, Mickey's shoulders are a bit muscular.
但或许是迪士尼的创办人 But, perhaps, Walt customized it
为你的曾祖父所特别设计的版本嘛 for your great-grandfather because he was, uh --
他是个港口工人是吗 He was a longshoreman?
他是女士帽子的商贩 He sold ladies' bonnets. Oh.
妈 你能把爸的信用卡 Mom, can you slip Dad's credit card
在他发现之前塞回他... back in his wallet before he --
你好啊 帅哥 Oh. Hey, handsome.
再次证明你们就是... Further proof of how you all see me --
把我当成脑子被门夹过的傻子 as a turnip truck faller-offer!
-才没有 -那我问你 - No. - ‭Then I'll ask you.
你相信这是华特·迪士尼先生画的吗 Do you believe that this was drawn by Walt Disney?
艾丽克斯 你进来 Alex, get in here.
-艾丽克斯 -别啊 亲爱的 你知道她会说什么 - Alex! - No, honey, you know what she's gonna say.
她的验光师都不准她戴隐形眼镜 Her optometrist won't even let her wear contacts
因为她翻白眼过于频繁... 你来啦 'cause of all the excessive eye rolling. - Hi.
我想知道真相 I need to know the truth.
艾丽克斯 真货还是假货 Alex, real or unreal?
真货 Real.
的确 是有些不像 但你不是说过 Yeah, it's a little off, but didn't you say
他当时得在卡车货斗里画吗 he had to draw it in the back of a truck?
而且什么人搭便车会随身携带绘图铅笔啊 And what hitchhiker would be carrying around a drafting pencil
肯定是卡通绘画师之类的嘛 if he wasn't some sort of an animator?
而且谁会没油了沦落到道路一旁呢 And who would run out of gas on the side of the road
肯定是个满眼光芒并幻想着 but a starry-eyed dreamer envisioning
世界上最快乐之处的梦想家吧 the happiest place on earth?
所以 是真货 So...real.
另外 我得到那份工作了 Also I got the job.
-什么 -很棒啊 - What? ‭- Hey.
是啊 他们刚打电话通知 我还在感到震惊呢 Yeah, they just called. I'm still in shock myself.
亲爱的 我好为你骄傲 Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you.
让我去开一瓶香槟庆祝 Oh, let me get some champagne.
卢克 来帮我拿杯子 Luke, help me with the glasses.
艾丽克斯 太棒了 我就知道你能行 Alex, that's amazing. I knew you could do it.
你对所有事情都这么乐观 You say that about everything.
-是啦 但是... -不 我是想谢谢你 - Well, I know, but... - No, thank you.
学骑自行车 我的首次大提琴发表会 Riding a bike, my first cello concert,
大一化学课 这份工作 freshman chemistry, this job --
每次我确信自己做不到某件事的时候 every time I was sure I couldn't do something,
你都能让我对自己有信心 you convinced me I could.
家里有一个愿意相信的人真好 It's nice to have a believer in the house.
到处都找不到她 I don't see her anywhere.
转个弯去那一边找找吧 All right, let's maybe turn around and look over there?
米奇尔 为什么鸡要过马路 Okay, Mitchell, why would the chicken cross the road?
"为什么鸡要过马路"是常见的冷笑话老梗 答案是"因为要去马路对面"
我其实完全没带他在找鸡 We were never finding that chicken.
在经过一阵不愉快的搏斗之后 After an unpleasant struggle that I only won
我在身中无数爪的情况下活了下来 after sustaining multiple scratches,
并把鸡放到了我们车的后座上 I put it in the back seat of my car,
开车送到了一个产蛋场 把它丢进了围栏 drove it to the egg farm, and lobbed it over the fence.
鸡稍微能飞啦 They can fly a little.
你的手臂上都是抓伤 怎么了 Oh, your arm's all scratched up. What happened?
大概是我出手阻止 Oh, um, it's probably from when I was trying to
两只冠蓝鸦的打架时留下来的吧 break that fight up with those, um -- those blue jays.
哎哟 妈呀 Oh. ‭Oh, gosh. Oh, God.
我的老天啊 Oh, man.
我突然感觉好困啊 I am all of a sudden feeling very tired.
-需要换我来开车吗 -不用 没事的 - Well, do you want me to drive? - No, no, it's fine.
-小卡 小心 -天啊 - Cam, watch out! ‭- Oh, my God!
你把鸡妮弗给丢了对吧 You got rid of Hennifer.
对啦 我承认 Okay, I admit it.
我讨厌那只鸡 我又没脸 I hated that chicken, and I was too ashamed
说出这件事 因为我为了你把我的 to say anything because I -- I made such a big stink
乡下魂给吐槽没了的事 跟你抱怨那么久 out of you shaming the country out of me.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我想坦白一件事 I have a confession.
-我爱那只鸡 -真的吗 - I love that chicken. ‭- Really?
我不想承认这件事 因为我想保持我自己 I-I didn't want to admit it because I like to see myself
是那种... 你懂的 精致高雅的都市人 as a sort of, you know, sophisticated urbanite.
但我想你... ‭But I guess you --
你稍微把我乡下化了一点 you countrified me a little.
你也都市化了我 Well, you citified me.
-好像有点甜呢 -是啊 - Aww, that's kind of sweet. - ‭It is.
我们现在只需要去找到一个活动 You know, now we just need to find an activity
能满足你心中那个叼稻草乡村男孩 that satisfies the straw-chewing country boy in you
与我心中那个喜爱橱窗购物的都市男孩 and the window-shopping cosmopolitan in me.
顺着这条路往下开 Drive up the road a piece.
问你啊 这马用洗发水猫能用吗 Now, will this horse shampoo harm a cat?
因为我... 我好喜欢这香味 Because I just -- I love the scent.
领子翻还是不翻 Collar up or down?
翻下来 Uh, down.
我会让你尝到报应的 ‭You'll pay for that!
天啊 天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
暂停 暂停 我看到了自己的倒影 Timeout, timeout! I just saw my reflection!
我就说那个西班牙糖棒会把我口红弄没 I told you that churro was going to drink up my lipstick.
暂停结束 Time in!
天啊 Oh, my God!
迪兰 口红断进我鼻孔了 Dylan, the lipstick went up my nose!
断在里面深处啊 It's really jammed up there!
好的 你别动 海莉 Oh, okay. Stay still, Haley.
我... 我去从另一边撞你 I'll -- I'll hit you from the other side.
你要干嘛 What are you doing?
通知你们一下 X光显示鼻梁没断 Just want to let you know, the x-ray shows no broken nose.
我猜你看出来我们有点幼稚了 I guess you figured out we were acting kind of childish.
还能玩的时候就要玩到最疯嘛 Enjoy it while you can, right?
对啊 谁说我们要拼命长大成人啊 Yeah. Who says we have to race into being adults?
谁会不想享受无忧无虑的生活 Why wouldn't you want to enjoy a carefree life
而且要越久越好呢 as long as you could?
至少到生孩子前都能这样啊 At least until the baby comes.
那还有好多年呢 相信我 Oh, that's years away. Trust me.
其实我们在麻醉前都会先验血 Actually, we always run a blood test before anesthesia.
你怀孕了 You're pregnant.
我们可以在这里耗一整晚 We can be here all night.
我不能啊 I couldn't.
我要去小短家看拳赛 都迟到了 I was late to watch the fight at Shorty's.
等我到的时候 By the time I got there,
波兰香肠好的部分肯定都被他们吃光了 the Polish sausage was gonna be down to those puckered end pieces.
听我说 我妥协了 Listen, I'll meet you halfway.
当你妈没在看的时候 When your mother's not looking,
你吃甜菜根 我就吃甜菜根 you eat a beet, I eat a beet.
同意吗 Deal?
亲爱的 我能喝点酒吗 Mi amor, can I get some wine?
伊斯特芬的父亲打电话来了 That was Estefan's father.
绿哥布林队想挖角他 The Green Goblins are trying to recruit him.
我需要去一趟提款机 I need to stop by the ATM
然后去他家坐坐 and then go to his house.
你爸爸不注意的时候 When your daddy's not looking,
我们就一人吃一块甜菜根好吗 let's split the beets, okay?
好吧 我决定要吃了 Fine. I'm ready to eat these,
但我们能不能关灯 but can we turn off the lights
我吃的时候不想看它们恶心的样子 so I don't have to see how gross they are?
-有道理 -好主意 - Makes sense. - Good idea.
-太棒了 宝贝 -我的乖儿子啊 - Bravo, papi! - That's my guy!