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原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com 仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
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翻译 incanto Flora哎呀呀 斑驳
翻译 洗七里 人工智能赛太公
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 三水
后期 瓜瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十三集
欢迎 你们大多知道我代理副校长塔克的身份 Welcome. Most of you know me as Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
但是今天... but today...
我是你们通往未来的指引者... I am your guide to the future...
未来... 未来... the future... the future.
好吧 所以你在回音上没听我的建议 Okay, so you didn't take my note on the echo.
米奇尔 我脑子听不进更多的负面评论了 Mitchell, I can't take another negative voice in my head.
我已经被布朗校长吓懵了 I'm already freaking out about Principal Brown.
我有种在学校被人霸凌的感觉 I kind of have a bully at school.
你要把这都吃完吗 You gonna eat all that?
我 我想不是吧 I-I guess not.
那好 Okay.
看到你关于明天研讨会的计划了 Saw your plans ‭for the seminar tomorrow.
你喜欢吗 你知道 我觉得孩子们 Oh, you like it? ‭Y-You know, I think the kids
听一听四个路途迥异的毕业生的发言 will really benefit from hearing from four graduates
一定会感觉获益匪浅的 that have taken such different paths.
他们中有传统上大学的 也有空档一年的... I've got traditional college, gap year --
大错特错 我们只推行一条路 上大学 Wrong! We're pushing one path here -- college.
行吧 好 但大学才不是 Well, yeah, but college isn't necessarily
对每个人来说的必经... the right path for every--
塔克 你熟悉"金苹果"这个词吗 Tucker, are you familiar with the term "Golden Apple"?
熟悉啊 我有点惊讶 I am. I'm a little surprised
这个用语进入了普通直男世界 it's made its way ‭into the straight vernacular.
这玩法在阿拉巴马州还是非法的呢 It's still illegal in Alabama.
不不不 金苹果是个奖项 授予给那些 No, no, no, Golden Apple status is awarded to schools
大学录取率在60%以上的学校 that reach a minimum of 60% college acceptance.
如果我们不够 我就得回去在夜校教书了 If we dip below that, I'm back to teaching night school.
如果你认为学校的午餐阿姨很凶残的话 If you think ‭the lunch ladies are mean,
那晚餐阿姨就是残上加残了 you should meet the dinner ladies.
行 但其他学生... Yeah, but what about the students that --
"合作玩球" 代理副校长塔克 Play ball, ‭Acting Vice Principal Tucker,
或许你会发现自己变成了... and you might just find yourself --
副校长吗 Vice principal?
我只是不确定我是不是能说动别人 I just don't know ‭if I can preach something
听信一些我自己都不相信的事情 that I don't believe.
-"合作玩球" -这词以前没人用 - Ha! Play ball. - ‭Seems like a thing
现在倒是大红大紫了 no one was saying, and now everyone is.
你知道我在做什么吗 You know ‭what I'm doing right now?
我在做一百个小蛋糕 I'm making 100 cupcakes
因为地检官孩子派对的承办人跑了 because the D.A. lost his caterer for his kid's party
他问我能不能帮忙 and asked if I could help out.
但是如果这能让他对我多加青睐的话 But if it puts me, uh, higher up on his radar,
那我就做吧 then so be it.
我只是说有时候你得妥协 I'm just saying sometimes you need to compromise
以退为进 to -- to get ahead.
也许我们的时代到来了 Maybe it's our time now.
我喜欢 Ooh, I like that.
你好 世界 一对强权夫夫正在冉冉升起 Hey, world, there's a new power couple on the horizon.
对 Yeah.
小卡和米奇 Cam and Mitch.
卡奇... 不 听起来好怪 Citch -- No, that sounds weird.
米姆[女士]... Mam --
以后会想到的 We'll find it.
爸爸 我们的视频会议快要开始了 Hey, Dad, our video conference is about to start.
我们能快点吗 我还要出去开销售会议 Can we make it fast? I have that sales meeting offsite.
所以得穿着战袍 带着雪茄 Hence the power threads and box of cigars.
爸爸 现在才上午十点 Whoa! Dad, ‭it's 10:00 in the morning.
我不会咽的 I don't swallow it.
他闻到我身上的酒气就会放松警惕 He smells it on my breath, he lets his guard down.
只要二十分钟 他就随我玩弄 In 20 minutes, I'm taking him
把他玩到连"见多识广"的狱警看到都会脸红 in a way that would make a prison guard blush.
这是绅士们谈生意的方法 ‭It's the way gentlemen do business.
那很抱歉我打扰了您的威士忌雅兴 Well, I am sorry to ruin your Glengarry, Glenlivet fun,
但那个会议被取消了 but that meeting got canceled.
什么 我还盼着呢 What? I was looking forward to it.
今天早上尼克通过网络电话把它搞定了 Nick took care of it by Skype this morning.
登录吧 咱们的会议要开始了 Log on. Our meeting's about to start.
好了 我们开始吧 Okay, let's begin.
尼克 咱们关于互动衣柜 So, Nick, where are we
语音指令的事情进行到哪一步了 with the interactive closet with the voice prompts?
这里有份样本 Here's a demo.
用了与克里斯托弗·沃肯[演员]近似的声音 Went with a Christopher Walken soundalike voice.
预报说...寒冷 Forecast is...chilly.
穿上...一些裤子 Put...on some pants.
可能是因为当时我们都喜欢"步入式衣帽间" I think we all fell in love with the idea of calling it
与那个演员名的谐音哏 但这声音真的不搭 a Walken closet, ‭but this just isn't working.
克莱尔 我怎么没看到你爸来开会呢 Hey, Claire, I don't see your dad on the video conference.
妈的 Damn it!
我电脑又坏了 My computer's busted again.
或者你的大写锁定又开了 Or your caps lock is on.
我们就不能在会议室开会吗 Can't we have this meeting in the conference room?
我们都围着桌子坐下 You know, where we all sit around a table,
面前摆着丰盛的早餐 there's a nice breakfast spread?
我厌倦了总把奶油干酪锁在抽屉里 I am tired of having to keep cream cheese in my desk.
爸爸 你知道我们为什么要这么做 Dad, you know why we do it this way.
我们有员工在这里工作 We have people working here.
也有员工在家工作 We've got people working from home.
我们有在世界各地工作的员工 We've got people working all over the world.
蒂芙尼还在柏林的德国衣柜展呢 Tiffany is in Berlin at KlausetSchvarg.
这个展还在啊 They still have that conference?
我还以为在80年代东德衣柜展时期 I thought they shut that down in the '80s
我们用那个毛衣柜把持不同政见者偷运出去后 after we used that sweater hutch to smuggle that dissident out
那个展就从此被取消了呢 during East KlausetSchvarg.
被你发现了 记得说话对着摄像头说 You're good. ‭Just talk into the camera.
很抱歉刚才的事 Hoo! Sorry about that.
好的 我们的3D打印有没有进展呢 All right. How about an update on our 3-D printing?
我想大家都认识爱德华多吧 I think ‭everybody knows Eduardo.
杰 你俩见面了吗 Jay, have you two met?
我看不见摄像头 I can't see the camera!
爸爸 你在... Dad, you're, uh...
你有点挡住镜头了 you're kind of smushed up against it.
你也许应该往后退一点 You might want to just step back a skosh.
使用3D打印机去制造我们的衣柜 Using a 3-D printer to manufacture our closets
能增加三倍的收益 will triple revenue.
我听不到你们说话 I can't hear you!
音量调大 爸爸 Volume up, Dad.
仅在第一年... In our first year alone --
搞什么鬼 What the hell?!
爸爸 "撤销" 就... Dad, "undo." Just --
我知道 我知道 I know! I know!
双击 Double-click.
♪ 生日快乐 ♪ ♪ Happy birrrthday ♪
♪ 衣柜先生 ♪ ♪ Mr. Closet -- ♪
别 别 No! No!
你们自己开这蠢会吧 我要离开这里 Have your stupid meeting! I'm outta here!
玛格丽特 我要去街对面的公园 Margaret, I'm going to the park across the street.
我去走走 I need a walk!
真是太感谢你帮乔的忙了 Thank you so much ‭for helping out with Joe.
你不会觉得这样太华丽吗 You don't think it's too flashy?
你说什么呢 你可要上的可是魔术课 What are you talking about? You're taking a magic class.
得表现出你是认真的 You want to show them you're serious.
是魔法师 不是无聊师 It's abracadabra, not abraca-drab-ra.
看那边 公开选角征集令 Look at that! An open casting call.
打扰一下 这是选什么角色 Excuse me, what is this for?
我们在为格伦谷购物中心寻找真实家庭 We are looking for real families to be the new faces
当新的代言人 of the Glen Valley Mall.
你们都挺不错 想报名吗 You guys are adorable. Want to sign up?
我们不是真的是一家 Oh, we're not a-a real --
我们愿意 Oh, we would love to!
这么好的事刚巧赶上了 What a cool and a spontaneous thing to do!
我一个星期前就看到海报了 I saw that poster last week.
让我想起了很久以前 It kind of reminded me of a long time ago
我客串当模特的时候 when I used to do a little modeling.
可能我挺怀念那时候 I guess I miss it.
我把菲尔骗到商场 I tricked Phil into going to the mall
因为我知道杰不会和我试镜的 because I knew that Jay wouldn't do it with me.
来吧 这会很有意思的 Oh, come on, guys. ‭This is gonna be so much fun.
我不确定 I don't know.
我们班的一个小孩拍了止咳糖浆的广告 This kid in my class did a cough syrup commercial.
现在他总是去教师休息室 Now he's always going to the teachers' lounge
给经纪人打电话 to call his manager.
他最讨厌了 He's the worst.
我五点钟有一节房地产课要上 And I teach ‭a real-estate class at 5:00.
我需要早点过去做准备 I have to show up early to limber up.
我觉得这对乔的自尊大有好处 I think that this could help a lot with Joe's self-esteem.
他这周过得很不顺 He's had a rough week.
你知道同龄人怎么对待喜欢魔术的孩子 You know how they treat kids that are into magic.
你告诉他等到了高中就不会那样了 Oh, you tell him when he gets to high school, that all changes.
我可不想骗他 I don't like lying to him.
你看 我真的不擅长这种事 Look, this isn't really my thing, and I'm --
而且我最近有点生病 I'm feeling ‭a little under the weather.
你不觉得我看起来脸色有点苍白吗 Don't -- Don't I look a little pale?
-我们要参加 -太好了 - We will do it! - Great.
我们的私人助理会给你们准备好衣服试镜 Our P.A. Will set you up with wardrobe for some test shots.
你们好 需要我给你们拿点什么吗 Hey, team. Can I get you anything?
咖啡 水 纯净水还是气泡水 Uh, coffee? Water? Still or sparkling?
我要气泡水 Ooh, I-I'd take a sparkling.
这位人才要气泡水 Talent wants sparkling.
你听到了吗 菲尔 Did you hear that, Phil?
他们叫我们人才 They call us talent!
我们别太激动得忘形 我们还是普通... Let's not get carried away. We're still reg--
我说要气泡水 I said sparkling.
看起来参加的人 Well, looks like you're gonna get
不少啊 塔克 a pretty solid turnout, Tucker.
现在差不多可以了 Now close the deal.
这是什么 "接啥" Hey, what is, uh, "Whanex"?
这年头年轻人版本的"接下来是什么" It's the way ‭the kids say "What's next?"
你知道 你要想和他们拉近距离 You know, if you want to reach them,
就要学习他们的说话方式 you have to learn to speak their language.
打印店搞砸了 Massive screw-up at the print shop.
我完全不知道怎么搞砸的 I-I have no idea how it happened!
对没错 横幅上应该写... Yeah, that's right. The banner should read...
接啥 好 whanex. Okay.
对 接啥 Yeah, whanex.
欢迎同学们来到第一届年度"接啥"研讨会 Welcome, students, to the first annual "Whanex" seminar.
我们直接步入正题 欢迎今天的座谈嘉宾们 Let's, uh, just jump right into it and meet our panelists.
我们邀请了两位选择走入大学的优秀青年 We have two bright, young people who chose the college path
还有两个任性的迷途青年 and two wayward souls
但愿我们能从他们身上吸取教训 whose mistakes we can only hope to learn from.
你们好 海豚队 Sup, Dolphins?
尼克 对我爸早上的事我很抱歉 Nick, I'm so sorry about my dad this morning.
-你们好 -没事的 别想了 - Hi. - ‭Please forget it.
我们现在有个更大的问题 We've got a bigger problem.
我们需要为虚拟衣柜助手找个新的声音 We have to find a new voice for the virtual closet assistant.
我们考虑 女声 We're thinking...female.
我自己也在考虑 Yeah, I was wondering about that myself.
等一等 Hold on a second.
克莱尔有一副好嗓音 又威严又诱人 Claire has a great voice -- commanding but alluring.
哪有 我可不知道什么 Oh, come on. I don't know about...
诱人 ...alluring.
你说得没错 You're right.
你说得对 我完全能听出来 You're right. I can totally hear it.
大伙 大伙 Guys, guys...
你们说得我都不好意思了 ‭...you're embarrassing me.
你的这一面一直藏在哪了 Where have you been hiding this?
半小时内 我给新的智能衣柜录完了 Within half an hour, I had recorded all the voice prompts
所有的语音指令 然后他们把语音装入了 for the new smart-closet, and they installed it
办公室的样品柜里 in the prototype right in the office.
大家都很高兴 但是我不是很理解 Everyone seemed really happy, but I don't get it.
我是说 I mean...
声音就是声音而已 ...A voice is just a voice.
太好了 爸 你回来了 Oh, good. Dad, you're back.
请移步我们的新型智能样品衣柜里 Please step into our new smart-closet prototype.
方便你骂我上午不参加会议吗 So you can yell at me for bailing on the meeting this morning?
进去就知道了 Just -- You'll see.
我能帮你选件外套吗 May I help choose an outfit for you?
因为我是那种还在 Cause I'm some old fossil
穿西装上班的老古董吗 that still puts on a suit to go to work?
让我们重新开始 Let's start over.
来就来 Why don't we?!
你想要哪种程度的舒适感 What level of comfort are you looking for?
跟我过去四十年一模一样的那种 Same thing I've had for the last 40 years --
一个能时不时和真人交流的办公场所 a workplace where you interact with actual people
就像我们现在这样 every once in a while, like we're doing right now.
我以前很喜欢销售电话 I used to love sales calls.
现在我们都不这样推销了 Now we don't even do them anymore.
我的意思是 你换位思考一下 I mean, put yourself in my shoes.
正装还是休闲 Dress or casual?
为什么你听起来像劳伦·白考尔[老明星] Why do you sound like Lauren Bacall?!
我听不明白 I don't understand.
对 因为现在 就像所有的东西一样 Right, because now, like everything,
我说的梗也过时跟不上你们了 my references are old and out of step.
你为什么在吼 Why are you yelling?
你现在还不懂的话 你永远都不会懂了 If you don't get it by now, you're never gonna get it!
有人又玻璃心了[内裤卡屁股] Well, somebody's panties are in a bunch.
我可以再帮您准备一条吗 May I offer you a different pair?
听起来好诡异 That's just weird.
太好了 Ooh! Very good.
我有一个小时给我老板儿子的派对 I had an hour to make 100 cupcakes...
准备一百个小蛋糕 ...for my boss's son's party,
但是这一切都是值得的 but it was all gonna be worth it.
他一定会很感激 He was gonna be so grateful,
下个升职的就是我 the next big promotion would be mine.
你这个忘恩负义的混蛋 You ungrateful monster!
亲姐妹却有不同的人生轨道 Two sisters, two paths.
毕业 Graduation...
生育 procreation.
一个掌控一切 The world on a string --
一个未婚先孕 a baby and no ring.
你说你为我而高兴 Uh, you -- you said you were happy for me.
你说孩子会为我带来无穷的乐趣 You said a baby would bring me limitless joy.
以及很穷的生活啊 And a limited bank account.
现在 曼尼 没有人怀疑 Now, Manny, no one can doubt
艺术学位在现实世界的价值 the real-world value of an art degree,
但说点令人激动的日常东西吧 but talk a little bit about the exciting social scene.
这么问真有趣 我有天晚上 It's funny you ask -- I went to a wine and cheese mixer
去院长家参加美酒与起司晚会 at the Dean's house the other night.
他收集原住民的乐器 He collects instruments of indigenous people.
我们喝完最后一点浓郁的仙粉黛酒后 And by the time we killed the last bit of a chewy Zinfandel,
我们演奏的原住民乐器更像原住民"越气"了 our jam sesh started to sound like a didgeri- don't.
谢谢 Thank you.
我能从这接着说吗 Could I please pipe in here?
好的 请 这是艾丽克斯 Yes, please. Alex.
我真的很感谢 I genuinely appreciate
能有机会再回来 the opportunity to come back here,
这个我曾是毕业致辞的代表的学校 where I had the pleasure of serving as co-valedictorian,
为被排斥的成绩好的学生 to offer a message of hope
带来了希望 真的很开心 to those oft-marginalized overachievers out there.
我看见你们了 I...see...you.
不是我一个人起了鸡皮疙瘩吧 Well, I can't be the only one with goose bumps in here.
请原谅我 Oh. Excuse me. Oh.
好的 欢迎大家提问 Yes, let's open it up for questions.
前排那位 请 Right here in the front row. Go ahead.
我还是不懂"接啥" I still don't get "Whanex."
听起来像我祖父母在俄勒冈的长途电话公司 It sounds like my grandparents' long-distance carrier in Oregon.
好的 你知道吗 我得接这个电话 Okay, okay. You know what? I have to take this.
卢克 海莉 说说 Uh, Luke, Haley, talk a little bit
你们还住在父母家的感受吧 about how you still live at home with your parents.
怎么啦 Hey, what's up?
我还没结束呢 I'm in the middle of my thing.
别听我之前说的合作 ‭Flip what I said before.
夸你想夸的傻蛋二人们吧 Start talking up the dummies.
什么 What?
我刚收到工作上的一条短信 Um, I just got a text from work.
我老板把那个大案子给别人了 My boss gave that big case to someone else!
同时 我还在 Meanwhile, I'm still on the hook
弄这些可恶的纸杯蛋糕 for these stupid cupcakes!
我的心跳很快 我的手没知觉了 M-My heart is racing, my -- my hands are numb.
而且我感觉要被空气传染糖尿病了 Plus, I-I think I have a case of airborne diabetes!
等下 你是说我应该 Wait. Are you saying I-I should --
如果这些大学应用数据下降 Look, if those college application numbers fall,
布朗校长就会被开除 Principal Brown, he gets fired.
猜猜接下来是会当 塔克校长 Guess who's up next. Principal Tucker.
我从来不敢这么想 I've never dared dream of such a thing.
更高的薪水 More money,
更好的停车位 better parking space,
而且舞会主题将由你挑选 plus you get to pick the prom theme.
我终于能实现我的魔法湖心会主题了 I can finally make my Enchanted Bayou a reality.
好的 回聊 Okay, t-talk -- talk soon.
艺术学校最棒的是 What's great about art school
有很多老师都在行业工作 is that a lot of the faculty work in the industry.
我的电影研究教授 My film studies professor
带我们参观了所有的大制片厂 has led tours at every major studio.
好的 谢谢 曼尼 All right, thank you, Manny.
对于那些还醒着的各位 And for those of you still awake,
我认为我们今天都学到了 大学... I think what we've learned here today is -- college,
就是个死胡同 a dead end.
好了 下一个 Okay, up next.
菲利普 歌洛莉亚 乔 Philip, Gloria, and Joe.
同样的场景 Same setup.
爸爸和儿子玩接投球 妈妈摆放餐具 Dad playing catch with his son. Mom laying out a picnic.
好的 自然点 就像我不在这里 So, just real natural. Like I'm not even here.
没问题 You got it.
别这么性感 Maybe not so sexy.
我的失误 My bad.
他在和妈妈说话 He was talking to Mom.
你就用正常的方式摆食物 You can just lay out the food in a normal way.
收到 不要再这么戏精了 Copy that. No divas here.
她的头也很奇怪 Her head is doing something weird.
能再调整一下吗 Can we straighten that up?
等下 各位 Hang on, guys.
他们为什么在窃窃私语 Why are they whispering?
是因为我们太老夫少妻感吗 You think I look too young for you?
为什么 我的鱼尾纹很明显吗 Why? Are my crow's feet showing?
我就知道化妆师遮瑕用太少 I knew makeup was going too light on the concealer.
各位 我们今天就混着搭配下试试 Guys, we're just mixing and matching today,
所以我们考虑换掉你们其中一个 so we're thinking about swapping out one of you.
不 我们是一个组的 No, we're a team.
我们进退一致 You get rid of one of us, and you lose all of us.
是那个小孩 It's the kid.
好的 Okay.
我还以为这是为了乔呢 I thought this was supposed to be for Joe.
很明显 他太差了 Obviously, he's terrible at it,
那怎么能帮助提升他的自尊心呢 so how is that gonna help him with his self-esteem?
你好 我是泰勒 Hi, I'm Tyler.
不妙 Oh, this is not good.
泰勒 可能很快要说再见了 Tyler, don't get too comfortable.
我觉得我们需要试点不同的 I think we want to try something different.
-肖恩 你能过来下吗 -好的 - Hey, Sean, could you step up here? - Yep.
对不起 菲尔 I'm so sorry, Phil.
不 我们想试下两个爸爸 No, we want to look at two dads.
我不能扮演孩子啊 I can't play the kid.
看来你出局了 我们走 Looks like you're out. Here we go.
-肖恩 对吧 -没错 嗨 - Sean, was it? - ‭Yeah. Hey.
-你好吗 -还不错 - How are you? - ‭Good.
感受不到化学反应 Hmm. Not feeling that chemistry.
或者我们应该接吻 Maybe we should kiss?
我们还是等他们指示吧 We could just wait for them to tell us what to do.
让我们试下肖恩和一个妈妈 Let's try Sean and a mom.
走开 菲尔 Move, Phil.
不 我们指的是莉迪亚 No, we meant Lydia.
好的 差不多了 All right, almost there.
乔 你过来试试 Hey, Joe, hop up here for me.
太棒了 这就是我们的一家人了 Yes! That's our family.
这就是我们格伦谷购物中心的新面孔 The new faces of Glen Valley Mall.
其他人可以离开了 谢谢 Everyone else can go. Thank you.
很高兴和你们合作 Nice working with you guys.
我在城另一边还有个试镜 I have an audition across town.
什么试镜 For what?
他们需要成年人吗 Do they need grownups?
我们已经听乖乖上大学的羔羊们说了很多 Alright, we've heard from our college-going sheep.
卢克 你明智地选择空档一年 Now, Luke, you wisely took a gap year,
找了份工作 赚了超多钱 got a job, made mad stacks,
还稍微做了投资对吗 and invested a little, correct?
没错 我持有300微卢布 Totally. I own 300 microrubels,
这是我在脸书上听说的俄罗斯加密货币 a Russian cryptocurrency I heard about on Facebook,
目前只能用于购买一种 which currently, you can only use to buy
叫弗兰肯斯坦的车臣派对毒品 a Chechen party drug called Frankenstein.
好吧 海莉 Okay, Haley, uh...
有性感男友 有工作 准妈妈 hot boyfriend, job, baby on the way --
感觉你人生圆满 而你选择的道路 You seem to have it all, yet you took a very different path
和你姐姐艾丽克斯很不一样 than your older sister, Alex.
-我是妹妹 -是吗 好吧 - I'm younger! - Oh, wow. Okay.
我想这就是为什么人们说如今 I guess that's why they call studying
"学习如抽烟催人老" "The new smoking."
从没有人这么说 No one says that.
我能不能加一句 Can I add --
你肯定能 但对现实世界又有什么帮助 I'm sure you can, but it won't help in the real world.
总之 多谢各位前来 Anyway, thank you all for coming.
大家下午愉快 保重 Have a good afternoon. Take care.
小卡 你搞什么 Cam, what the hell?
我学到了很多 I learned a lot.
塔克 Tucker!
我在滴滴上没接到客 I wasn't picking up a lot of Uber fares,
所以我提前回来 so I came back here early
听到了你最后这段结尾 and I heard the end of your little presentation.
我知道你打的什么小算盘 I know what you're trying to do.
我得和他谈一下 Hey, I just need to talk to him for-for one second.
你猜怎么着 Hey, hey. Guess what.
我刚刚把小蛋糕送到上司家去了 I just dropped off the cupcakes at my boss's house.
原来他没把我想接的案子给我 Turns out he-he didn't give me the case I wanted
是因为他有个更好的案子要给我 because he had ‭an even better one for me.
真的吗 那太好了 Really? T-that's amazing.
而且他也不是要我做小蛋糕 And he didn't want me to make cupcakes.
他只是想让我推荐一个新承包商 He just wanted me ‭to recommend a new caterer.
我们为此笑得前仰后合 So we had a big laugh about that.
但这都证明了 But just goes to show,
别耍小把戏 don't play games.
做好你的工作 你就会得到认可 Do your job, ‭and you'll be recognized.
-是啊 可你说 -别管我说过什么 Yeah, but you said -- No, ah! Forget what I said.
条条大路通罗马 T-there's no one path to success.
这才是你该教给孩子们的 I mean, that's what you should be telling these kids.
是啊 我本来是想这么跟孩子们说的 Yeah, that's what I was going to tell these kids --
去你的 塔克 Damn it, Tucker!
我的霸气姿势维持不了这么久 I can't hold my alpha power stance this long.
我的小腿要抽筋了 My calves are starting to cramp.
好吧 首先 Okay, well, first of all --
不 省省吧 明白吗 No, can it! Okay?
你以为能用低大学申请率埋葬我 You thought you could bury me by killing college applications,
是不是 didn't you?
我这就去收拾和别人共用的那半张桌子 I will clean out my half of the desk that I share.
不 我很抱歉 这都是我的错 Oh, no, it's -- I'm so sorry. T-this is-this is my fault.
我在工作上试着"合作玩球" I tried to play ball at work.
还没必要地烤了很多蛋糕 There was a lot of unnecessary baking.
重点是 是我给了他这些想法 所以... The point is, I-I put these ideas into his head, so...
所以你如此软弱 没有信念 So you're so weak and without conviction
某人向你提议一些蠢主意 that somebody suggests some stupid idea to you
你甚至不想想看 就抛弃所有价值观 and without even thinking, you just abandon all your values
像廉价的扇子一样任凭人折来折去 and fold like ‭a cheap Chinese fan, huh?
是的 先生 我是只应声虫 Yes, sir. I am a worm.
这正是我要找的特质 That is exactly what I'm looking for.
完全不会威胁到我 No threat to me at all.
恭喜你 正式副校长塔克 Well, congratulations, permanent Vice Principal Tucker.
-真的吗 -真的 - Really? - ‭Yes.
谢谢您 我爱您 Thank you! I love you!
我也爱你 I love you, too.
当务之急 去弥补你刚才的过失 Now, first order of business -- fix what you did here.
你要为我摘下金苹果 You are gonna give me a Golden Apple.
我们俩可是稳定伴侣 We are ‭in a committed relationship!
不不不 这不是一回事 No, no, no. It's not the same thing we saw at
不是胡娇单身汉派对上那种 Pepper's bachelor party.
一种同性恋间的特殊玩法 淋湿一个苹果后再塞入伴侣后庭
-不是吗 -不是 - It's not? - ‭No.
和所有人吵了一整天后 After fighting with everybody all day,
我开始思考 或许 是我犯浑了 I was starting to think maybe... I was the jerk.
所以最后我回到老办公室 So I ended up back at the old office, you know,
试图搞清楚我究竟是为什么 trying to figure out what it was about going to work there
热爱去那里工作 that I loved so much.
恭喜 Congratulations.
你被普里契特衣柜 百叶窗及水床雇用了 You've been hired at Pritchett's Closets, Blinds, and Waterbeds.
我是杰·普里契特 I'm Jay Pritchett.
欢迎成为团队一员 Welcome to the team.
听到了吗 You hear that?
他们已经在为你欢呼了 They're cheering for you already.
我们这里很珍视一个品质 那就是团队合作 That's something we value here -- teamwork.
无论你是销售部还是运输部 And whether you're in sales or shipping
或是可爱的文职人员之一 or one of those cute tomatoes in the steno pool,
你都很重要 you're important,
因为在这我们是一家人 'cause we're family here.
等一下 这个新雇员是谁 Wait a minute! Who's this new employee?
是我 克莱尔 爸爸 It's me -- Claire, Daddy.
没错 是克莱尔 Oh, right! It's Claire!
手真灵巧 Nice hands.
难怪我们公司的垒球队永远赢不了球 Reminds me why our softball team never won a game.
看看是谁从高级总部办公室跑出来了 Look who they let out of the fancy corporate office.
你老婆突然醒悟离你而去了没 Hey, that wife of yours get smart and leave you yet?
她真的离我而去了 这段日子很艰难 Eh, actually, she did. It's been rough.
我们不知道 我太抱歉了 Oh. ‭I -- We didn't know. I'm so sorry.
你们这些傻瓜 我逗你们玩的 Ah, you mutts, I'm screwing with you!
她能去哪 Where's she going?
我知道我爸心里有疙瘩 I knew my dad was going through something,
当我在旧办公室看到他的车时 and when I saw his car at the old office,
就过来确认他状态如何 I-I stopped by to check on him.
你羞吗 克莱尔 Are you feeling shy, Claire?
是啊 我想是有点 Yeah, I guess I am a little.
你几岁了 How old are you?
你说得对 我就直说了 You're right. Just come out and say it.
我担心我们把公司卖了让你不开心 I'm worried that you're unhappy we sold the company
并且你觉得这是我的错 and you're blaming it on me.
你又有你要去拉粑粑的那个表情了 You're making that face like you have to go potty.
我很焦虑 I'm anxious and --
你怎么能看到我的表情啊 How can you even see my face?
她是我女儿 She's my daughter.
她认为这里她说了算 She thinks she runs the place.
你还说他不会干呢 You said he wouldn't do it.
没错 老子干了 You're damn right, I did it.
老大永远都是老大啊 Boss is still the best, huh?
老爸想"家"了 My dad was homesick.
杰 你的屁股可真上相啊 That is one photogenic butt, Jay.
你带回家吧 让你在家还能继续拍马屁 Take it with you. ‭You can kiss it at home, too.
-大家好啊 -你来啦 - Hey, guys. - Hey.
-老爸 -你怎么来这里啦 - Hi, Dad. - ‭Hey, what are you doing here?
我看到你的车嘛 I, uh, saw your car.
听我说 Look...
我知道你最近在工作上有点不顺心 I know you've been frustrated at work lately.
不用担心这个啦 Don't worry about that.
但你新工作上挺顺利的吧 You're doing great, though, huh?
是啊 我还挺喜欢的 Yeah, I kind of love it.
但我不能只顾自己不顾你啊 But it doesn't feel right if you hate it.
老爸 这合作我们是可以甩头就走的 Dad, we can bail on the whole thing.
你知道我真正该甩开的是什么吗 You know what I need to bail on?
是甩开像桃子般的自己 Being such a little peach.
-什么 -一磕碰就坏嘛 - What? - They bruise easily.
我记得有这种说法 但无所谓啦 It could be an expression. I don't know.
重点是当我在这里时 我更能与人接触 The point is, when I was here, I reached out more.
我录了与别人问候的视频 I made videos greeting people.
建立起了真正的感情 I built real relationships.
刚才那三个人 我能记住其中两人的名字呢 Those three guys -- I knew two of their names.
我想或许我该试着多向你学习 I think maybe I need to try to be a little bit more like you
给这个新合作一个机会 and give this new thing a chance.
其实他们也没那么糟啦 只要你习惯了... You know, they're not so bad when you get past the --
他们的嬉皮士胡子还有都是手汗的握手 the hipster beards ‭and the sweaty handshakes.
跟我说说那个打印男 爱德华多 Tell me about that printer guy, Eduardo.
3D打印到底是什么鬼 What the hell is 3-D printing anyway?
你在试着学习呢 Look at you trying.
老爸 Oh, Dad!
3D打印就是用三种激光 Okay, 3-D printing is when you take three lasers
你可以扫描任何你想要的事物 and you can scan any object you want.
然后... You --
你想3D打印你的屁股对吧 You want to 3-D print your butt, don't you?
你想要他们喜欢我不是吗 We want them to like me, don't we?
好了 宝贝跟小伙伴玩得开心 Okay, baby, ‭have fun at your play date.
我两小时后来接你 I'll pick you up in two hours.
你能相信我现在是个模特了吗 Can you believe I'm a model now?
疯狂世界啊 Crazy world.
再见啦 小伙子 See you, buddy.
-宝贝再见 -妈妈再见 - Bye, baby. - ‭Bye, Mom!
天啊 我真为这孩子高兴 Gosh, I'm so happy for that kid.
是啊 我们一直这么说 ‭Yeah, we keep saying that.
我觉得自己好傻啊 I feel, uh, silly I got so invested
为永远不会有人看到的商场海报投入灵魂 in modeling for some mall poster no one's ever gonna see.
你想感觉好一些吗 You want to feel better?
我带你去看个东西 看完之后 I'll show you something that is gonna make me
我保证会比你更显可悲 look more pathetic than you do.
我说的只是"傻"吧 但... I think I said "silly," But, um...
行啊 yeah, okay.
那是我20年前拍的 That was me 20 years ago.
很棒啊 That's amazing.
所以你不开心的原因是什么啊 But what are you so upset about?
你现在还是跟当年一样美啊 You're just as beautiful now as you were then.
我知道啦 Aww. I know.
只是我会想起那段时光 It's just that it was a time in my life
我曾在外面闯江湖 where I was out there hustling,
当模特 开出租 modeling, driving a taxi,
在夜店外面卖培根卷热狗 selling bacon-wrapped hot dogs outside a nightclub.
看到他们把那广告拆下来 Seeing them taking it down made me feel like
令我感到那时的我要永远消失了 that version of me is gone forever.
因此你又想要开始模特生涯 So that's why you wanted to start modeling again.
我只是想念对某件事物很有激情的感觉 I just miss being passionate about something again.
就像你对房地产一样的激情 The way that you feel passionate about real estate.
你总是看起来很... 很有活力 Mm. ‭You always seem, like, so alive,
做成新买卖 认识新的人 making new deals, meeting new people.
你有想过来当房地产中介吗 Have you ever thought about becoming a Realtor?
-谁没想过啊 -这倒是真的 - Who hasn't? ‭- That's true.
我有次曾买过一本书来学怎么做这行 I bought a book one time to learn how to do it,
但你也懂后来怎么样了 but you know how it is.
有时候人生就是会卡在一个瓶颈 Sometimes in life, you just get stuck.
我觉得你很适合这行呢 真的 I think you'd be great at it. Really.
我会愿意买任何你卖的东西 I'd buy anything from you.
我现在都在考虑去漂白我的牙了呢 I'm thinking about getting my chompers bleached,
那还只是剩下一半的你的广告牌呢 and there's only half of you up there.
-真的吗 -真的 - Really? - ‭Yeah.
问自己下一步该走向哪其实挺令人恐惧 It can be scary to ask yourself what's next.
心里会浮现所有对自己的质疑 All the doubts start to creep in.
别人会喜欢我吗 Are people going to like me?
还好烫[火辣]啊 Ooh, still hot.
谢谢夸奖 Thank you!
我每周都会找几天在后院健健身 I throw a tractor tire around the backyard a couple days a week.
我能克服困难吗 Can I handle the challenge?
代理副校长
副校长
学生辅导员
兄弟 Dude.
你可以不停地对自己提出质疑 You can ask these questions forever,
但你也可以踏出第一步 or you can just take the first step.
所有的房屋开放日都有这五点检查要素 Here is your five-point checklist for any open house.
第一点 Number one --
抱歉 教授 Sorry, professor.
菲尔 亲爱的 你来这里做什么呢 Phil, honey. What are you doing here?
我来给你个惊喜 顺便约你去吃晚饭嘛 Hey. I thought I'd surprise you and take you out to dinner.
突发奇想 你知道我就喜欢这样 Spontaneous. You know I like that.
我先去确认一下大家都走了没 Well, um, let me just make sure everybody's gone.
拿上我的包就可以锁门了 I'll grab my bag and lock up.
没问题 Awesome.
我能对你的服装提供协助吗[帮你脱衣服] May I help you with your clothes?
看来这里真的只剩下我们了 I guess we are the only ones here.
或许我们先从裤子开始吧 Perhaps we'll start with the pants.
通常你都是喜欢... Normally, you like a little...
慢慢解开衬衫扣子的 ...slow shirt unbuttoning,
但看来今天我们... 要直捣黄龙啦 but I guess we... are cutting to the chase.
爸 你还在找地方放你的屁股吗 Dad. Are you still looking for a place to leave that butt?
真的好恶心 It's so gross.
论建立办公室情谊 There's nothing better for office comradery
没有比恶作剧更棒的方法了 than a practical joke.
能振奋人心呢 It lifts people' spirits.
我输了 Well played.