m 211 -8 b 217 -6 217 -4 217 -2 l 217 24 b 217 26 217 29 211 31 l 31 31 b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
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原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com 仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 38 -1 l 44 6 l 38 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 incanto Flora哎呀呀
翻译 洗七里 泡棋牌室赛太公
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 三水
后期 瓜瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十四集
兽医刚来电话 The vet called.
斯黛拉的体检结果出来了 Stella's test results came back.
他想让我把她带回去... 今天 He wants me to bring her in...today.
不 过来抱一下 Oh, no. Come here, you.
杰 我很遗憾 Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry.
但这就是喜欢宠物的坏处 对吧 That is the bad thing about loving animals, right?
但是想想你带给她了多少美好的事情 But think about all the wonderful things you gave her,
像是美丽的家 美味的食物... like a beautiful home, delicious food...
...还有我们的婚床 ...our marital bed.
节哀顺变 我们会将她铭记于心的 I'm sorry, Jay. Stella will not be forgotten.
我不是要带她去安乐死 你个女巫 I'm not putting her down, you goblin.
她需要做手术 She needs a surgery.
那真是个好消息 Oh. That is such great news.
斯黛拉怎么了 Oh, what's wrong with Stella?
她患有软腭过长症 She has an elongated soft palate,
所以有时候会难以呼吸 which is why sometimes it's hard for her to breathe.
并且睡觉打呼噜 And she snores a lot.
那他们能给你也做这手术吗 Any chance that they can do you, too?
这是个严肃的手术 他们得对她进行全身麻醉 This is a serious operation. They have to put her out.
如果她醒不过来怎么办 What happens if she doesn't wake up?
我要怎么办 What would I do?!
我去拔智齿的时候 When I got my wisdom teeth out,
你为了在十点半的截止时间前买到鸡蛋麦芬 you made me walk the last four blocks to the dentist
让我走了最后的四个街区去到牙医那里 so you could get an Egg McMuffin before the 10:30 cut-off.
你不能再翻这个旧账了 You're gonna have to let that go.
你知道吗 我不会做的 You know what? I'm not gonna do it.
-她看起来很好 -也许她只是需要 - She seems fine. - Maybe she just needs
一些新鲜空气来保证呼吸顺畅 some fresh air to breathe better.
我们何不带她去狗狗公园呢 Why don't we take her to the dog park?
这是个好主意 不过外面可能有点泥泞 That's a great idea. Might be a little muddy out there.
我去拿你的靴子 美女 I'm gonna get your boots, gorgeous.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我的靴子在壁橱里 就在... My boots are in the closet, next to the --
他刚才是在对斯黛拉说话吗 Was he just talking to Stella?
过来抱一下 Come here, you.
皇冠造型护墙板 皇冠造型护墙板 Crown molding wainscoting, crown molding wainscoting,
法式门信用评分 法式门信用评分 French door credit score, French door credit score.
在为重要的房屋展示做热身吗 You warming up for a big showing?
非常重大 Very big.
我终于给胡娇找到了他的梦之屋 I finally found Pepper his dream house.
我不敢相信你还在 I can't believe you're still
为那个男人浪费时间 letting that man waste your time.
你都给他看了多少房子了 How many houses have you shown him?
就只有... 我不知道 120栋吗 Only, like -- I don't know, like, uh, 120.
但我们玩得很开心 他很有意思 But we have fun. He's a hoot.
亲爱的 就连米奇和小卡都同意 Honey, even Mitch and Cam agree that he's impossible,
他不可能也不会买一栋房子 and he's never gonna buy a house.
-他会的 -不会的 - Yes, he will. - ‭No.
他总能鸡蛋里挑骨头 He always manages to find something wrong.
上一栋房子 瑜伽间离安全室太近了 The last house, the yoga room was too close to the panic room.
他本来是愿意接受的 He was willing to live with that,
但因为法令 他的猎鹰不能在那里养 but the property wasn't zoned for his falcons.
不过今天的这栋 符合他期望清单的每一条 This one today, though, checks every single box.
很好 那么如果胡娇今天没买下房子 Great. So if Pepper doesn't buy the house today,
你得答应别让他再缠着你了 you agree to stop letting him string you along
你得放弃他这个客户 and drop him as a client.
咱俩"达成交易"之前 你缠了我多久 How long did you string me along before I closed that deal?
亲爱的 你没法让胡娇怀孕 Honey, you can't get Pepper pregnant
-并且把他困在一个房子里 -我们走着瞧 - and trap him in a house. - You're on.
你记得要在五点到家吧 You remember you need to be home
-对吧 -记得 - at five, right? - ‭Yeah.
等等 为什么 Wait, why?
艾丽克斯的男朋友 比尔 搞了一些发明 Alex's boyfriend, Bill, has cooked up some invention
想让我们投资 he wants us to invest in.
为什么是我们呢 Why us?
因为有人鼓舞了他 Because someone inspired him.
你们可以看到 我正在审查中的专利 As you can see, my patent-pending
穿戴式椅子 穿戴不会有累赘感 Wear-Chair TM, barely noticeable.
-我喜欢 -不管何时我站累了 - I love it. - ‭Whenever I get tired of standing,
我只需要 按下这个按钮 all I have to do -- press this button.
一条弹簧腿就会喷射出来 提供舒适的座位 A spring-loaded leg jets out to provide me with a comfy seat.
你把它穿反了 是吗 You put it on backwards, didn't you?
我想说的是 比尔 My point is, Bill,
我们每个人内心都有一项伟大的发明 there's a great invention inside all of us.
拜托了 准时到家就行 Please, just be home in time.
我可不想独自打破一个男人的梦想 I don't want to crush a man's dreams on my own.
你得跟我一起 You have to do it with me.
谁知道呢 也许我们会喜欢他的发明 Who knows? We might love his invention.
肯定会很傻的 It's gonna be stupid.
幸好你没和乔治·福尔曼结婚 Good thing you weren't married to George Foreman
否则我们现在还是一次只能烤一面肉 or we'd still be grilling our meats one side at a time.
莉莉 你 你今天怎么样啊 So, Lily, how -- how are you today?!
莉莉 Lily?!
莉莉 Lily.
你爸爸刚才问你今天过得如何 Your father was just asking how you're doing.
你还好吗 Are -- Are you all right?
-我很好 -好的 - I'm fine. - ‭Okay.
好 Yeah.
我刚才给你打手势 Okay, uh... I gestured you over here
是因为我们得讨论一下莉莉的事 'cause we need to talk about Lily.
我推理出来了 Yes, I puzzled that out.
而且 你也不需要小声说话 看着 Also, you don't need to whisper. Watch.
亲爱的 你爸爸和我可能要离婚了 Honey, your father and I may get divorced
因为他正考虑变性成个女人 because he's thinking about becoming a woman.
这解释了很多事情 That explains a lot.
-我在两首歌的间隙 -够了 出来 这边 - I'm in between songs. - Okay, all right. Now out. This way.
她到底怎么了 What is going on with her?
我不想再被关在她心门外了 I don't want to be shut out like this another day.
我知道 但我们 我们先别惊慌失措吧 I know, but let's -- let's not get hysterical.
我才没有惊慌失措 I'm not getting hysterical.
-你也就能再撑几分钟 -的确 - We're minutes away. - Fair enough.
我只是想看她笑 I just want to see her smile.
好的 我要给罗纳多再发个短信 Yeah, okay, I'm gonna text Ronaldo again.
希望他能让我们参加吉米的爱派对 Hopefully he got us into that KimmyLoveandStuff party.
吉米的爱是一个莉莉喜欢的 KimmyLoveandStuff is an Internet sensation
-网络红人 -没错 - that Lily loves. - ‭Yeah.
她试穿衣服 ‭She tries on clothes,
她哭诉霸凌和塑料 she cries about bullies and plastic.
大伙儿 想象一下 You guys, just imagine
你是一只海龟 这事儿发生在你身上 if you were a turtle and this happened to you.
我们全家都为她着迷 Our whole family is obsessed with her.
这就是一个少女 And that's the great thing about a tween girl
有两个同志爸爸的好处 having two gay dads.
我是说 我们 我们爱好一致 I mean, we -- we love the same things.
小鲜肉 时尚 八卦 Cute guys, fashion, gossip.
我的天哪 罗纳多 他把我们弄进去了 Oh, my God! Ronaldo, he got us in!
了不起 Amazing. ‭
我们得给他一个感谢礼物 Okay, we have to get him a thank-you gift.
不 不 他欠你的 好吗 No, no, he owes you, okay?
你给了他你的骨髓 You gave him your bone marrow.
我怎能不给呢 Well, how could I not?
他没吃饱 我又一点都吃不下了 He was still hungry, and I wasn't gonna eat any more of it.
然后我们回到正式的入口 And we make our way back to the formal entryway,
根据你的期望清单 which, according to your checklist,
"要大到当人们进入的时候 "Must be large enough to make people swoon
就会为此倾倒" when they step inside."
我想再来一遍 I want to do it again.
那个胡娇自称很有钱 Ugh, that Pepper claims to be wealthy,
我才不信... but I don't believe it for a --
我的天哪 Oh, my heavens!
我们就是乡巴佬 We're peasants. ‭
这里的一切都符合你的期望... It's got everything on your list --
钢琴吧 夫夫餐厅 piano bar, his and his dining rooms,
还要能看到蕾哈娜家的屋顶 这点我一直没懂 plus a view of Rihanna's roof, which I never quite understood.
我给她办过一次派对 我能感觉 I did a party for her once, and I could feel
那双巴贝多人的眼睛用鄙夷眼神俯视了我 those judgy Barbadian eyes looking down on me.
现在谁在俯视着谁呢 日日 Now who's looking down on who, RiRi?
常言道 地点 地点 复仇 Like they say, location, location, vengeance.
你真有意思 You're funny.
这房子太好了 菲尔 妈妈会喜欢的 Oh, it's fabulous, Phil. Mother would love it.
正是她的慷慨和给我的委托 It's her generosity and my power of attorney
才让购买这座房子成为可能 that are making this purchase possible.
所以 我们准备好签报价单了吗 So...are we ready to sign the offer?
就快了 Very close.
我还想在里面住一小会儿 I just want to live in it for a bit,
体验一下日常生活的感觉 get a feel for the everyday.
你不着急 对吧 You're in no hurry, right?
不不不 要是我着急 Oh, no, no, no. If I was in a hurry,
怎么会带你看了两百多座房呢 would I have shown you over 200 houses?
我等不及要去公园了 I can't wait to get to the park.
那是我们的邮递员 Hey, there's our mailman.
冷静点 杰 Settle down, Jay.
天 我今天好痒 Boy, I'm itchy today.
我希望那只叫宾果的狗在公园 Hey, I hope that dog Bingo's at the park.
和他玩很有意思 He's fun to play with.
你在干什么 你错过那个转弯了 What are you doing? You just missed our turn.
我只是从另一条路走 I'm just going another way.
没有别的路了 There is no other way.
你不是要带我们去公园 You're not taking us to the park.
我们要去看兽医 We're going to the vet.
医生说了她需要做手术 The doctor said that she needs this surgery.
她会没事的 She's gonna be fine.
我不舒服 我要透透气 I feel sick. I need some air.
这是我在新房子的普通的一天 So, here I am on an ordinary day in my new house
大家都嫉妒我 而我昂首阔步 洋洋得意 everyone hates me for and I'm walking and I'm kvelling...
我们气喘吁吁 大汗淋漓 And we're panting and we're schvitzing...
我们笑 我们哭 And we're laughing and we're crying...
我们陷入思考 And we're thinking.
我在击球 And I'm putting.
所以你的车里 So, you have an entire wardrobe
有一整个衣柜吗 in your car?
♪ 我在演奏 我在歌唱 ♪ ♪ And I'm playing and I'm singing ♪
♪ 大家都爱死了 ♪ ♪ And they're loving it ♪
我说爱死了 I said loving it.
这简直是场灾难 This is a disaster!
真是"闪亮登场"啊 What a fun way to enter a room.
我知道今天比尔要来和你们聊聊 I know Bill's coming over to talk to you guys today,
-我要崩溃了 -宝贝 不用担心 - and I'm freaking out. - Oh, honey, don't worry.
我们不会投资他的发明的 We're not gonna invest in his invention.
那不是他想和你们谈话的原因 That's not why he wants to talk to you.
那是个幌子 It's a cover.
他要征求你们的祝愿娶我 He's going to ask for your blessing to marry me.
-什么 -你们不能同意 - Whoa, what? - And you have to tell him no.
你怎么知道的 How do you know this?
他们家所有男人都在情人节求婚 All of the men in his family propose on Valentine's Day,
情人节马上就到了 which is coming up.
我看了他给刚订婚的朋友 I read a text he sent to his buddy
发的短信 询问一些关于 who just got engaged asking for tips
求婚顺利的秘诀 而且我的朋友看见他 for a good proposal, and my friend saw him
从一家珠宝店出来 coming out of a jewelry store.
所以你翻他的短信还追踪他的行踪 So you read his texts and you track his movements.
这下我可知道他为什么这么想绑住你了 I can see why he's so eager to lock you down.
你看 我真的很喜欢和比尔在一起 Look, I really like being with Bill,
如果我不得不拒绝他 and if I have to turn him down,
那我们的感情就完了 that means the end of the relationship
美好的性爱也没了 and all that great sex.
你现在可真是释放真我啊 是吧 Really come out of your shell, haven't you?
好了 你准备好了吗 惊喜 Okay. Are you ready?! Surprise!
我还需要点提示信息 I'm gonna need a little bit more information.
你现在在吉米的爱 You are at KimmyLoveandStuff's
新化妆品系列的 exclusive launch party...
独家发布派对 她还要演唱 ...for her new makeup line, and she's gonna sing
-她的热门单曲 -单曲 -her hit single... - Single!
《给我吉米爱》 ..."Give Me Love and Stuff."
好吧 你们是怎么做到的 Okay. How did you guys do this?
你们好啊 陌生人 欢迎 Hello, total strangers. Welcome.
非常感谢你做的一切 罗纳多 Thank you so much for doing this, Ronaldo.
要是有人问你们是谁 If anyone asks who you are,
就说你们在找加斯·布鲁克斯[乡村歌手]的签售 say you were looking for the Garth Brooks book signing.
你们穿这么土他们会信的 They'll believe you because of your clothes.
我要去找找洗手间 I'm gonna go look for the bathroom.
-好吧 -看 她这么紧张 真是可爱 - Okay. - Oh, look, she is so nervous, it's adorable.
你觉得有没有办法 Um, uh, do you think that there's any way
让吉米的爱和莉莉打个招呼 we can get KimmyLoveandStuff to come over and meet Lily?
我不被允许看她的眼睛 所以不行 I'm not allowed to look her in the eye, so no.
我是罗纳多 This is Ronaldo.
从地上捡起来 吹吹灰放回托盘里就好了 Just pick it up, blow on it, and put it back on the tray.
这种问题还用问 Are you kidding me with these questions?
我们得让吉米的爱 We got to get KimmyLoveandStuff
跟莉莉打个招呼 to say hi to Lily.
她的狗波在那儿 她应该在附近 Well, there's her dog, Boo, so she's nearby.
我想到一个简单的贼主意 Okay, I just got a really sketchy but great idea.
你带肉干了吗 Um, did you pack your jerky?
火鸡 牛肉 还是三文鱼 Turkey, beef, or salmon?
-我们要这么干 -拜托 - Here's what we're gonna do. - Oh, please.
这又不是我第一次用包包里的肉干 This is not the first time I've lured an animal
把小动物从它主人身边引开了 away from its owner with my purse jerky.
波 过来 波 想吃点好吃的吗 Boo, come here. Boo, you want some treats?
好女孩 过来 Good girl. Come here.
让开 波 Move! Boo!
有人看到波了吗 Does anyone have eyes on Boo?!
那两个老男人抢走她了 Those old men snatched her.
你们是想偷走我的狗吗 Are you trying to steal my dog?
不不不 不好意思 我们只是想 No, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. We were just --
我们只是想吸引你的注意 We're just trying to, uh, get your attention.
是这样的 我们的女儿 莉莉 Yeah, you see, our daughter, Lily, she --
她是你的超级粉丝 she's a massive fan
她现在有点沮丧 我们只是 and she's a little depressed right now and we just --
我们想再次看到她的笑脸 we want to see her smile again.
我的天 Oh...my...God.
同志爸爸最好了 Gay dads are the best!
-我们也是这么说的 -我们说的 - That's what we said. - We say that.
我觉得因为我们喜欢找乐子 I think it's because we love to have fun,
而且又不害怕面对现实 but we're also not afraid to get real.
我不想看到你们的女儿不高兴 Aww. I hate the idea of your daughter not smiling.
让我们给她带来快乐吧 Let's go make her day.
好 那边的是她 Okay, well, that's her right there.
那是莉莉 Um, that's Lily.
拍下来 Film this.
她在跟我说话吗 I-Is she talking to me?
是的 Yeah.
当然 吉米的爱小姐 Of course, Ms. LoveandStuff.
你们好 粉丝们 这里是你们的吉米 Hey, lovers and stuffers. It's your girl, Kimmy.
我们现在在我的发布派对 We're here at my launch party
我要去给我的头号粉丝一个惊喜 where I'm about to surprise my biggest fan.
你们准备好看某人的"吉"动反应了吗 You ready to see someone's mind kim-plode?
你好 莉莉 你玩得开心又有爱吗 Hey, Lily. You having fun and stuff?
你好 ‭Hey.
莉莉 这是吉米的爱 Lily, it's KimmyLoveandStuff.
我知道 我说了"你好" I know. I said "Hey."
你知道吗 我觉得她是震惊得语无伦次 You know what? I think she's in shock.
莉莉 不如你给她讲讲你最喜欢的视频 Lily, why don't you tell her your favorite video.
我的最爱是你讲种族歧视 Mine was when you tackled racism
然后给自己绑了个可爱的鱼尾辫 and gave yourself that cute fishtail braid.
是啊 该莉莉说了 Uh-huh. And Lily.
我已经不看你的视频了 抱歉 我们能走吗 I don't watch them anymore. Sorry. Can we go?
停 拿过来 Cut! Give me that!
莉莉 你这样很不礼貌 Lily? You're -- You're being very rude.
超级不礼貌 Extra rude!
你们是谁 你们怎么进来的 And who are you people and how did you get in here?
-加斯·布鲁克斯 -等我查清楚你们会人头落地 - Garth Brooks. - When I find out, heads will roll.
-感觉真是尴尬死人了 -你还尴尬 那我们呢 - I'm so embarrassed. - You're so embarrassed?
你们还好意思尴尬 You're so embarrassed?
好了 我们准备好给史黛拉做手术了 Okay. We're ready for Stella.
我还没准备好 Well, I'm not ready.
杰 好了 Jay, come on.
好吧 小心点 All right. Careful.
等一下 我得和她说两句话 Wait a second. I-I have to say something.
小姑娘 我知道你很害怕 Little girl, I know you're scared.
我也怕 但你是一个斗士 Me too. But you're a fighter.
"别担心 爸爸 我会没事的" "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll be fine."
她的声音不是这样 She doesn't sound like that.
抱歉 她会很好的 Sorry. She'll do great.
你是怎么回事 我从没见过你这样 What is going on with you? I've never seen you like this.
我不知道 I don't know.
我十岁的时候 爸爸救了只狗带回家 When I was 10, Dad came home with a rescue,
我兴奋得不行 and I was so damned excited.
但那只狗根本不想理我 But the dog wanted nothing to do with me --
直奔向我妹妹 永远只跟着她打转 went straight to my sister and never left her side.
数年后 我们养的小狗也只粘着迪迪 Then years later, we got a puppy who went right to Dede,
我一接近她就冲我咆哮 growled at me every time I went near her.
但我什么努力都没做 斯黛拉就选了我 But with Stella, I didn't even bother trying, and she chose me.
而我或许再也见不到她了 Now I may never see her again.
我坐不住 我得出去走走 I-I-I can't sit here. I need to take a walk.
做哪种手术 What kind of surgery?
不过是调整一下呼吸问题 They just have to fix her breathing.
没什么大不了的 It's not a big deal.
他们是这么告诉你的吗 Is that what they told you?
我要是你就会更上心 I'd be careful if I were you.
这话什么意思 What do you mean?
男人对宠物的爱很疯狂 Men get crazy about their animals.
我丈夫以前有只丑猫 脖子上有个大瘤 My husband had this horrible cat with a big lump on its neck.
是良性的 我丈夫不介意 It was benign, didn't bother my husband,
但我一看到就闹心 but I couldn't stand looking at it.
于是某天 我丈夫上班后 So one day, when my husband was at work,
我带猫来这 让他们把瘤切了 I brought the cat in here to have them take that thing off
然后 and --
它死在了手术台上 It died right on the table.
不 你丈夫发火了吗 Ay, no. Was your husband mad?
发火了 已经是前夫了 Ex-husband, so yeah.
妈的 Damn it.
你好 Hola.
有人吗 Hello?
这下好了 我还以为下一个是我 Well, all righty. I thought I was next.
我还是第一次在看房时慢烤肋排 Well, that's the first time I've slow-cooked ribs for a showing.
是我妈的菜谱 Mother's recipe.
你准备好出价了吗 So, are you ready to make an offer?
我说不好 菲尔 I don't know, Phil.
哪里说不好 阿娇 Don't know what, Pep?
我就是没感觉 I'm just not feeling it.
或许我们该再看看别的房子 Maybe we should see some more houses?
没问题 ‭No problemo.
你想看其他社区的房子 Um, did you want to look in another neighborhood
还是想留在地狱里 or stay right here in Hell?!
你说什么 I beg your --
是我求求你 老天爷 买这房子吧 No, I beg. For God's sakes, buy this house.
我整个职业生涯里从没这么卖力过 I've worked harder for you than any client in my entire career.
我不知道你是优柔寡断 I don't know if you're indecisive,
虐待狂 还是单纯的精神病 sadistic, or just plain crazy.
亲爱的 Hey there, honey.
你还在看房 对不对 You're still there, aren't you?
他差两笔就签好了 He's just dotting the I's, crossing the T's.
还在耍你 别理他了 Yanking your chain. Dump him.
比尔随时会到 Listen, Bill's about to be here any minute,
情况有变 and the situation has changed.
我得挂了 Got to go.
回来 我照你吩咐找到厕所有锦鲤池的房呢 Get back here! I found you a bathroom with a koi pond!
斯黛拉在车上 上车 I have Stella! Get in!
她在哪 Where is she?
-在后面 -她还好吗 - She's in the back. - ‭Is she okay?
我把她劫出来的 我不能逼你这么做 I busted her out. I can't make you do this.
假如她有什么三长两短 If something happens to her,
你永远不会原谅我 you're never going to forgive me,
我不想像这样失去你 and I don't want to lose you like that.
真感人 但你没在停车标志下停车 Well, that's touching, but you just blew through a stop sign.
她在宠物医院或许更安全些 She'd probably be safer at the vet.
罗纳多 是我 菲尔·邓菲 Ronaldo. It's Phil Dunphy.
你好 菲尔 Hello, Phil.
我正在给天后备餐 I'm preparing a plate for a diva.
一切还好吗 Is everything okay?
其实不太好 Uh, actually, no.
我对胡娇发脾气了 I lost my temper with Pepper
因为他告诉我还想再看别的房子 when he told me he wanted to see more houses,
我一直在给他打电话想道歉 可是 and I've been calling to apologize, but...
-他不接 -你怎么知道 - He's not picking up. - How did you know?
下半句还有可能是别的吗 It seemed the only possible conclusion to your sentence.
菲尔 你知道为什么 Phil, do you know the reason
我不再跟胡娇一起看房子了吗 I stopped house hunting with Pepper?
是因为那次卖家以为胡娇是你爷爷吗 Was it when that seller thought Pepper was your grandpa?
从那以后他就不准我涂防晒霜了 He hasn't let me wear sunscreen since.
不 因为我终于意识到他是不会买房的 No. I finally realized he wasn't going to buy a house.
你开玩笑吗 我浪费了数百个小时 Are you kidding? I've wasted hundreds of hours.
我疝气手术都延期了 他为什么这样对我 I postponed hernia surgery. Why would he do that to me?
他喜欢你 He likes you.
大多数直男都觉得胡娇很烦人 Most straight guys find Pepper annoying,
可你总对他那么友好 but you're always so nice with him.
我想他是担心假如买了房 I think he's afraid if he buys a house,
-就再也见不到你了 -真的吗 - he'll never see you again. - Really?
一直这么憋着实在太痛苦了 Wow, it's so painful keeping everything inside.
他就是这么长大的 It's how he was raised.
不 是我的疝带不管用了 No, my truss isn't working.
我得赶快安排动手术 I've got to schedule that procedure.
你知道胡娇在哪吗 Do you know where Pepper is?
他每次难过都去一个特别的地方 He has a special place he goes when he's sad.
挺基的 你看过《爱乐之城》吗 It's pretty gay. Have you ever seen the movie "La La Land"?
当然 等等 是不是能眺望城市的长椅 Of course. Wait, does he go to the bench overlooking the city
就是瑞恩·高斯林和艾玛·斯通 where Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone
跳着踢踏舞爱上彼此的地方 tap danced into each other's hearts?
-没有很基啊 -好吧 - That's not so gay. - ‭Okay.
不不不不不 No, no, no, no, no, no.
拜托你把耳机摘下来 Take those things off, please.
我们现在得谈谈你到底是怎么回事 We need to talk about whatever's going on with you right now.
-我没事 -不 你有事 - I'm fine. - No, you're not fine.
你闷闷不乐又冷漠疏远 You're sullen and aloof and --
你让我们丢人 当着吉米... and you embarrassed us in front of KimmyLoveandStu --
我说不下去了 太囧了 I can't say it again. I can't.
我们给了你每个少女梦想中的一天 Okay, we gave you every tween girl's dream day,
而你笑都没笑一下 and-and you can barely crack a smile.
这不是我梦想中的一天 是你们的 It's not my dream day. It's yours.
我没有你们这种少女心 I'm not the same kind of tween girl you guys are.
可我们喜欢一样的东西 But we love all the same things.
我变了 我不喜欢碧昂丝 I've changed. I don't like Beyonce.
你把这话收回去 You take that back!
或小甜甜 Or Britney.
或嘎嘎 Or Gaga. ‭
我只是因为你们喜欢而假装喜欢 I only fake it 'cause you guys like that stuff.
我和你们不一样 I'm different.
宝贝 这就是你低落的原因吗 Well, honey, is it -- is that why you've been feeling so down,
因为你觉得你和我们不一样 because you-you feel different than us?
不知道 我好像觉得和很多人都不一样 I don't know. I guess I feel different than a lot of people.
宝贝 这点你两个爸太有共鸣了 Well, sweetie, that is one thing your dad and I can relate to.
我想这才是有一对同志老爸最棒的地方 I guess, well, that's the great thing about having two gay dads.
我们知道不合群是什么感觉 We-we know what it feels like to be an outsider.
慢慢就好了 Okay, but here's what happens.
你会找到像你一样不合群的人 You start finding people who don't quite fit in,
你们一起结伴不合群 and you start not fitting in together.
我们永远不想让你觉得 We never want you to feel like
你在我们面前得装成其他人 you have to be someone else for us.
-永远 -说回来 - Never. - ‭I mean --
你总听的是什么音乐 What is this music you're always listening to?
-快 让我们也听听 -是啊 - Come on. Let us in. - ‭Yeah.
好吧 我喜欢这种的 Okay. I like this.
来 放来听听吧 Okay. ‭Let's put it on, huh?
好啦 准备好了 All right. Here we go.
♪ 你的理智在哪里 ♪ ♪ Where's your sanity? ♪
-有意思 -对啊 - Fun! - ‭Yeah.
是啊 真的 我喜欢 Yeah, yeah, I like it.
她有一天一定会杀了我们 She's gonna kill us someday.
我想跟说 我真的很感激 Hey. I just want to say, I really appreciate you
你愿意费心救出斯黛拉 wanting to save Stella like that.
斯黛拉并不是唯一主动选你的人 Well, Stella is not the only one that choose you.
我也每天都选你 而且我比表面上更爱她 I choose you every day, and I love her more than I show.
好啦 小宝贝 我放你进家里 Okay, sweetheart. Let's get you inside.
我再给咱俩煎上牛排吃 I'll throw on a couple of steaks for both of us.
这是什么乱七八糟的狗 What the hell dog is this?
-是斯黛拉啊 -才不是 - It's Stella. - ‭No, it's not.
都八年了 你还认不出咱家的狗吗 Eight years, you don't recognize our dog?
都十年了 你还认不出我剪头发了吗 Well, 10 years, and you don't notice one haircut?
等我们回到兽医那里 手术已经结束 By the time we got through to the vet, the surgery was over.
斯黛拉平安无恙 And Stella was fine.
我得承认歌洛莉亚这次真的劳心劳力 I just have to say Gloria really stepped up
协助我的宝贝身体康复 and nursed my baby back to health.
除了一个问题 Only one problem.
她现在选我了 Stella choose me now.
她不是真心的 是因为你给她止痛药 It's not real. You give her pain meds.
她只是在当自己毒贩的舔狗 It's like she's sucking up to her dealer.
你好啊 比尔 Hi, Bill.
-您好 -请进 - Hey. ‭- Come on in.
-谢谢 -邓菲先生在家吗 - Thanks. - Is, uh, Mr. Dunphy around, too?
不在 但他应该在回家的路上了 Uh, no, he's probably on his way back,
我们有事应该等他回来了再说 and we should definitely wait for him.
可是我很快就得赶去上班了 Oh. I actually have to get to work pretty soon.
或许你代表一下你们俩发表意见吧 Do you think maybe you could just speak for the both of you?
不行 菲尔非常有主见 Nope. Phil is very opinionated.
也非常严格 "一切以我说了算" And strict. "What I say goes around here."
他是个令人畏惧的顾客 He's a very scary customer.
好吧 我真得没得选了 Okay. I don't really have a choice here.
邓菲先生与太太 Mr. And Mrs. Dunphy...
你们愿意给像我这样的人一个机会 would you be willing to take a chance on a guy like me
-然后让我... -艾丽克斯现在结婚太早了 and let me -- Alex is too young to get married.
抱歉了 菲尔他这人暴脾气 I'm sorry. Phil, who is very quick to anger,
绝对不会同意 would never allow it.
我不是要来提亲啊 Oh, I wasn't asking to marry Alex.
这... 这是在干嘛 What -- What's happening?
然后更怪了 And then it got weirder.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen...
我向大家展示我的最新发明 ...I give you my new invention,
专利的自我救赎鞋拉衣 the Pull-Yourself-Up-By-Your-Bootstraps™.
这种事情你碰过多少次了 How many times has this happened to you?
你在床上睡觉 You're in bed, asleep.
突然之间 All of a sudden...
天啊 糟糕 Oh, no.
地震了 没时间穿好衣服 It's an earthquake. No time to get dressed.
你只能再次光着身子立刻逃到大街上 I'm gonna have to run out into the street naked again.
除非... Huh. ‭Unless...
那我就能一秒逃出家门啦 And I'm out the door in seconds.
-行啊 -就这样吗 - Oh, okay. - ‭That's it?
你不是来我家提亲的吗 You didn't come to ask for my hand in marriage?
什... 当然不是啊 Wh-- Of course not.
"当然不是" 你这话什么意思 What do you mean, "Of course not"?
那我们交往干嘛 比尔 What are we doing, Bill?
宝贝 别得了便宜还卖乖 Honey, take the win.
冷静 首先呢 Okay, first of all,
你是个智慧超群又独立自主的女性 you're a super smart, independent woman
前方有大好的未来在等着你 with an amazing future ahead of you.
你怎么会想现在结婚呢 Why would you want to get married right now?
所以呢 那你说你昨天 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, what were you doing
去珠宝行里做什么 in that jewelry store yesterday?
是去钟表珠宝行里给手表换电池啊 I was getting a battery for my watch.
你怎么会知道我去钟表珠宝行啊 How did you know I was in a jewelry store?
那你那条短信写着... And what about that text you s--
无论如何 For what it's worth,
如果我之前知道你有这意愿 我今天就求婚了 if that's what I thought you wanted, I would propose today.
我挺确定你就是我一生的某某 Hmm. I'm pretty sure you're my forever someone.
真的吗 Really?
亚历桑德拉·邓菲 Alexandra Dunphy...
-你愿意... -妈 - would you... - ‭Mom!
好了 大家平身 行了 Okay, everybody up. All right.
起来 很多火得去灭呢 There we go. A lot of fires to put out.
下一次再问 我会把这句话说完 Next time, I'll get to the end.
下一次你问 我或许就准备好了 Next time, I might be ready.
我真不喜欢解放版的艾丽克斯 Ugh. Not a fan of liberated Alex.
美好的夜晚 Lovely night.
你来这里做什么 What are you doing here?
我打给你爱人问你会上哪了 I called Ronaldo looking for you.
每当发现我人生不像音乐剧美好时 我都来这 I come to this place when life turns out not to be a musical.
而我常常来这里 I'm up here a lot.
我吼了你 对不起 I'm sorry I yelled at you.
菲尔 你也不是第一个 Well, Phil, you're not the first person
觉得我讨人厌了 to find me a tad trying.
你听了可能很惊讶 但其实我没有多少朋友 This may shock you, but I don't have many friends.
表达点惊讶吧 菲尔 Express some shock, Phil.
但你有很多朋友啊 But you have tons of friends.
米奇尔与小卡都爱你 Mitch and Cam love you.
偶尔接触的话他们还行 Yeah, they're okay in small doses.
但直男朋友就从不这样了 And a straight-guy friend, never.
很多直男们觉得我... A lot of straight guys find me...
-烦人吗 -是太有威慑力 - Annoying? ‭- Intimidating.
别乱接我的话 这又不是你比我猜 Wait for me to finish. This isn't Mad Libs.
但你不相信我喜欢你吗 胡娇 Don't you believe that I like you, though, Pepper?
我想相信啊 但或许我只是个散财童子 I want to, but maybe I'm just a big, fat mother's purse to you.
我是你的朋友啊 胡椒 I'm your friend, Pepper
你干嘛啊 What are you doing?
两人穿的衣服正是《爱乐之城》中出现的同款
这可是黄西装 This is a yellow suit!
♪ 一生挚友 胡椒 ♪ ♪ Till the end, Pepper ♪
别弄得像戏精发戏瘾 You're making a scene!
♪ 我听过这陈腔滥调 ♪ ♪ I know that old line ♪
♪ 但只要我信了 你就会将我抛开 ♪ ♪ But as soon as I sign, he'll toss me aside like ♪
♪ 弃之敝履 ♪ ♪ Yesterday's wine ♪
♪ 我的真心日月可证 ♪ ♪ My heart's on my sleeve ♪
♪ 我想相信 ♪ ♪ I want to believe ♪
这也太尴尬了吧 我们是普通正常人 This is weird. We're people!
听我说 Look. ‭
你唯一能够确定 The only way you're ever gonna find out
我们是不是朋友的方法就是买下房子 if we're friends is if you buy that house
然后看我会不会赚到好处就走人 and see if I stick around.
感觉是个好昂贵的实验啊 Seems like an expensive experiment.
如果你真心喜欢那房子 就签了报价单 Sign the offer... if you love the house.
签字或者炒我 Either that or fire me.
这是你唯一能够确认的办法了 It's the only way you're gonna know.
-我的心就交给... -有缘再会啦 - My heart is in your... - I'll see you.
我就知道 你是无情的感情杀手 I knew it. Assassin!
我跟你闹着玩呢 I'm messing with you.
我跟朋友们就喜欢闹着玩 That's what I do with my friends.
懂了 真有意思 Oh. I see. Delightful.
我对直男的讨喜方式还不熟 I'm new at straight chummery.
别一直看你手表了 菲尔 Stop checking your watch, Phil.
糟糕 Oh, no!
是大地震 It's the big one!
我衣不蔽体 And I'm not dressed!
拿上地震逃生包 Grab the earthquake kit!
大家快躲到桌子底下 Everybody, get under a table!
冰箱里有现金 There's cash in the freezer!
老婆 这东西我们必需得投资啊 Honey, we gotta get in on this.
我高中男友当年从我家逃跑时也用得上 My highschool boyfirend could've used that.
都被你一句话毁了啦 You ruined it.