m 211 -8 b 217 -6 217 -4 217 -2 l 217 24 b 217 26 217 29 211 31 l 31 31 b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b 208 0 229 21 229 50 l 229 179 b 229 208 208 228 179 228 l 50 228 b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
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原创翻译 双语字幕
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m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 38 -1 l 44 6 l 38 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 incanto Flora哎呀呀 洗七里
翻译 油腻希 脾气炸裂赛太公
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 三水
后期 瓜瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十五集
♪ 超级碗 ♪ ♪ Oh, Super Bowl ♪
♪ 精彩比赛 比赛精彩 万众期待 ♪ ♪ The plays, the plays, they're calling ♪
♪ 从一端到另一端 ♪ ♪ From end to end ♪
♪ 还有啊 ♪ ♪ And -- ♪
发生什么事了 What happened?
要我拨打9和1还再加一个1吗 Do I call the nine and the one and the other one?
为什么我的冰箱都是与橄榄球无关的食物 Why is my fridge filled with non-football-related foods
今天可是有超级碗大赛的星期天 on Super Bowl Sunday?
都没地方放我的杰瑞·赖斯布丁了 There's no room for my Jerry Rice pudding.
美国职业橄榄球大联盟的知名选手
今天是海莉的迎婴派对 Haley's baby shower is today.
我大概一个月前就跟你说过了 I cleared it with you, like, a month ago.
你就不能把比赛录下来吗 Can't you just record the game?
然后呢 明早再看吗 And what? Watch it tomorrow morning?
为什么橄榄球比赛和迎婴派对 Look. There's no reason a football game and a baby shower
就不能同处一个屋檐下呢 can't co-exist under the same roof.
你们应该也不会打扰到我 Maybe you won't get in my way.
迎婴派对挺平淡的 Baby showers are pretty tame.
迎婴派对啊啊的朋友们 你们好哇 Who's ready for a baby show-ahhh?!
我在为迎婴派对啊啊做白色俄罗斯人 I'm making White Russians for the baby show-ahhh.
有伏特加 咖啡香甜酒和鲜奶油调和的饮料
一点液体勇气能让"坏坏游戏"更好玩 A little liquid courage makes all the naughty games better.
我觉得你把迎婴派对和婚前派对搞混了 I think you're mixing up baby shower with bridal shower.
我的婚前派对就是在我怀孕的时候举行的 Well, my bridal shower did take place when I was pregnant.
"警察"[舞男]都来了 The cops even showed up.
当然了 他们不是真警察 Of course, they weren't real cops.
其中一个还用屁股蹭我的肚子 One of them rubbed his butt against my belly.
别跟海莉说 Don't tell Haley.
不如"别跟艾丽克斯说" Or how about, "Don't tell Alex"?
超级碗投注站来啦 Super Bowl squares here!
快给你的超级碗下注吧 Get your Super Bowl squares!
别 别又来一次 No. Not this again.
其实我们做了一点改良 Uh, actually, we've made some refinements.
去年的价格有点太高了 Last year, the price was a little high.
前年又太低了 The year before, too low.
所以今年 我们确定了一个完美的数额 So this year, we've landed on the perfect number.
每注3.75美元 $3.75 per square.
我会跟去年一样 I'll do what I did last year.
-给我11注 -行啊 容易得很 - Give me 11 squares. - Okay. Easy enough.
不要在迎婴派对这边搞什么超级碗的算术 No. No Super Bowl math on the baby shower side.
到那边去 Go over there.
我告诉你 你真的看起来很棒 I'm telling you, you look cute.
你知道什么不棒吗 对我撒谎 You know what's not cute? Lying to me.
孩子出生后 脾气就会改了吧 This gets better once they come out, right?
-怎么了 -我的上一条牛仔裤穿不上了 - What happened? - Well, my last pair of jeans exploded,
我不能穿裙子 因为我的大腿长毛了 I can't wear skirts because my thighs are growing hair
剃都剃不及 faster than I can shave it,
所以我只能穿着滑雪裤来参加自己的迎婴派对 so I'm wearing ski pants to my own baby shower.
我告诉你 没人会注意到的 I'm telling you, no one's even gonna notice.
那是什么声音 听起来好像 What's that sound? It's like
进取号星舰舱门开启的声音 when the doors on the starship Enterprise open.
你们想给超级碗下注吗 Hey, you guys want to buy a Super Bowl square?
每注只要3.75美元噢 Only $3.75.
酷 我能要三注吗 Cool. Can I take three squares?
是啊 我今天得有点好事 Yeah, I need something good today, too.
我们合买五注 We'll split five squares.
你有零钱吗 Uh...do you have quarters?
上次我被闪电打中之后 Oh, I don't carry change
我就不随身带着零钱了 since the last time I got struck by lightning.
你好 菲利普 Hello, Phillip.
你好 曼尼尔 Hello, Manuel.
违背我明智的判断 Against my better judgment,
我在新电影里为菲尔写了一段戏 I wrote a part for Phil in my new movie.
后来事态有些剑拔弩张 两人间唇枪舌剑 Things got heated, words were exchanged,
这点还挺令人意外 嘴这么利说台词却这么愚钝 which is surprising, considering he had a mouthful of scenery.
演员啊 Actors.
编剧啊 他们自视甚高 Writers. They think they're so great.
"我写的词真是字字珠玑" "Oh, my words are so precious."
学着倾听一下吧 Try listening for once.
那样你或许会知道人究竟是怎么说话的 Maybe you'll learn how humans actually talk.
等等 是"说"还是"曰"来着 Wait, is it -- is it "talk" or "speak"?
想起来了 Oh, that's right.
根本没人在意 No one cares!
大家好 我来看超级碗大赛啦 Hello, hello. I'm here for the Super Bowl.
-我是来参加迎婴派对的 -行 好 - And I am here for the baby shower. - Okay, yep.
我好像是来受什么刑的 I'm here for some sort of punishment, I think.
莉莉和她朋友克里斯蒂娜大吵一架 Hmm. ‭Lily and her friend, Christina, got into a huge fight.
我希望我们能够 And I was hoping we could
让她们坐下来好好聊聊 have the girls sit down and talk it out.
但米奇尔说"不 克里斯蒂娜是错的" But Mitchell said "No, Christina's in the wrong."
很显然 米奇尔言出法随 And apparently, Mitchell's the law.
他确实是 莉莉 你真幸运有个这样睿智的爸爸 He is. Lily, you're very lucky to have such a wise papa.
普里契特助理地检是个英雄 Mm-hmm. Assistant District Attorney Pritchett is a hero.
所以这人现在觉得你酷毙了 Huh. So this one thinks you're cool now?
歌洛莉亚喜欢犯罪故事 Okay, Gloria loves crime stories,
特别是杀夫的女人那种 especially women who kill their husbands.
最近我起诉了贝艾尔市的黑寡妇 And I recently prosecuted the Bel Air Black Widow.
她每天都有来法庭 She came to court every single day.
我们认为被告有罪 We find the defendant guilty.
太好了 Yes! Whoop, whoop!
律师 这事儿没完 Hey, Counselor. This isn't over.
女士 你就像高中的我一样 Lady, you're like me in high school,
因为你17年内都别想出来[出柜] cause you ain't gonna be coming out for 17 years!
虐了一个外焦内嫩 Boom goes the dynamite!
小卡 来一碗我的知名辣椒酱 Cam, have a bowl of my famous chili.
我都不知道你做了这个 I didn't know you made chili.
我对杰该死的辣椒酱熟得很 I know all about Jay's damn chili.
就在去年的同一天我们还聊过 We talked about it last year on this very day.
我们还做了约定 Promises were made.
明年 我会给你买一把你自己的橄榄球椅 Next year, I'm getting you your own football chair
你来帮忙我做我的知名辣椒酱 and you're gonna help me make my famous chili.
凌晨五点 5: 00 a.M.
不见不散 Be there or be square.
我从未完全感受到杰的认同 You know, I never entirely felt Jay's approval,
所以这对我们来说是一大步 so this was a big step for us.
我每天都数着日子 I counted the days.
然后超级碗的前夕 Then Super Bowl Eve,
我去了 还买了最好的辣椒酱增稠剂 I went and I bought the finest chili thickeners --
玉米面粉还有土豆面粉 corn flour and potato flour.
我在黎明前一小时出现 And I showed up an hour before dawn.
为了不吓到歌洛莉亚 我给杰打了电话 I called Jay's cell as to not startle Gloria.
什么事啊 Hey, what's up?
他完全没意识到我为什么打给他 He had no idea why I was calling.
承诺很明显对他来说一点都不重要 Clearly promises made didn't mean as much to him.
但是我不能让他知道 But I couldn't let him know that.
杰 是你吗 Oh, uh, Jay, is th-- is that you?
我肯定是没锁屏按到了 I-I must -- I must've butt-dialed you.
不然我为什么要在一个这么平常的 Why else would I be calling you so early...
周日早晨给你打电话呢 ...on a regular Sunday morning?
抱歉 Sorry.
我觉得自己被负心汉抛弃了 I felt like a jilted lover
站在他的门廊前 手里拿着美丽的面粉[音同鲜花] standing on his porch, holding those beautiful flours.
你不能躲在这一整天 You can't hide in here all day.
我觉得你现在的样子最性感 To me, you've never been hotter,
而我可是看过比你穿比基尼搭便车时的样子呢 and I've seen you hitchhike in a bikini.
你在这啊 There you are.
很遗憾你今天过得不太好 I'm sorry you're having a bad day, uh...
不过我觉得应该告诉你 我邀请了丹妮尔 but I thought you should know, I invited Danielle.
丹妮尔 她太讨人厌了 Danielle? Ugh, she's so annoying.
她说的每句话听着都像个问句咩 Everything she says sounds like a question?
但其实不是咩 But it's not?
是啊 但是她正处在 Yeah, but she's in her, like,
第好多个月的孕期 thousandth month of pregnancy.
天啊 Oh, my God.
那我就不是这里最丑的孕妇了 That means I won't be the grossest preggo here.
太爱你了 Bless you.
谢谢 Thanks.
谢谢你今天邀请我过来 And thanks for inviting me today.
当然了 你是孩子的爸爸 Of course. You're the baby's father.
是 但是这是家庭聚会 Yeah, but it's a family thing,
而我一直觉得不能融入你们 and I don't always feel like I belong.
有的时候他们看我就像 Sometimes they look at me like
俗话中的"扫兴使[屎]者"一样 the proverbial bird in the punch bowl.
难得只错一个字 Almost.
三乘 Uh, three times...
不好意思 不过不管你怎么看 I'm sorry, but every way you look at it,
迪兰的钱数不对[不够格] Dylan comes up short.
海莉完全就被骗了 And Haley's totally getting rooked.
好吧 这有点意思 Oh! Okay, well, that's interesting.
他们在郡监狱里找不到黑寡妇了 Um, they lost track of the Black Widow at the county jail.
-她越狱了 -是啊 - She escaped? - Mm-hmm.
-你害怕吗 -开什么玩笑 - Are you scared? - ‭What?!
就是嘛 Exactly!
应该害怕的是她 She should be scared of you.
如果她够聪明 就应该逃得远远的 If she's smart, that young lady will run and keep running.
这里面放了什么调料 What spice is in here?
是茴香吗 Is it -- Is that dill?
里面放茴香[迪兰在这]干什么 Why the hell is dill in here?
真是灾难啊 It's a -- It's a catastrophe.
我重新利用一下这里的一点头发 So, I'm just gonna repurpose some of this hair
盖住秃处和青春痘 to cover the bald spot and zits --
-还有青春痘 -全"痘"会看起来美美的 - Zits?! - ‭And "Zits" Gonna look amazing.
完成啦 Ta da!
-成了吗 -是啊 - Ta da?! - Yeah.
我有个大痘还梳这种遮秃发型 I have a huge gut and a comb-over.
看上去像个离了婚的牙医 I look like a divorced dentist.
丹妮尔 Oh, Danielle!
你看起来真不错 为什么 You look so good. Why?
是怀孕的魔力咩 话题"老天保佑" It's the magic of pregnancy? #Blessed?
什么情况 What the hell?!
艾丽克斯说我可以早点过来 Alex said it was okay if I came early?
海莉 我真为你高兴 Haley, I'm so happy for you?
我需要迪兰 迪兰呢 I need Dylan. Where is Dylan?
迪兰去哪了 Where's Dylan?
海莉找不到他的 Haley's not gonna find Dylan.
他走了 He's gone,
你们每个人都有错 and it's everybody's fault!
怎么都哭丧着个脸 What is up with all the funeral faces?
来嗨呀 大伙 这可是 Come on, people, this is supposed to be
-迎婴派对啊啊 -别再这么加语助词了 - a baby show-ahhh. - Don't say "Show-ahhh".
没人觉得好 Nobody wants it.
好吧 所以迪兰误会了我们 Okay. So, Dylan misunderstood
说的一些话 伤了感情走了 a bunch of the things he heard us say, got upset, and ran off.
我们就别假装是什么误会 Let's not pretend this was some mistake
或者迪兰太敏感了 or Dylan being oversensitive.
我们都做了很多让他觉得 We've all given him plenty of reasons
在这个家里不受欢迎的事 to feel unwelcome in this family.
有的人确实很无情 And some of us do have a meanness.
我就这么说吧 毫无人性的残酷 I'll leave it at that. A monstrous cruelty.
简而言之 就是虐待狂 Enough said. Sadistic.
我们家就挺冷静的 My family is really chill?
就不该让你来 You were a mistake.
好了 卢克拖住了海莉 Okay, Haley's being occupied by Luke,
所以我们还有些时间 so we have some time.
我们得找到迪兰 We just have to find Dylan
不能让海莉知道他跑掉了 without letting Haley know he's run away.
不过这听着是迎婴派对的问题 That kind of sounds like a shower problem, though.
我不是很理解为什么要 I don't know how fair it is to bring in
把看超级碗的人搅和进来 the Super Bowl folk into this.
我的姐姐给了我这个机会为她办迎婴派对 My big sister gave me the honor of hosting her shower,
我就要办得漂漂亮亮 and it's gonna be great.
所以 唯一可能知道 So, the one person
迪兰去了哪里的人 也就是海莉 who might know where Dylan went, Haley,
却不能知道他不见了 is the one person who can't know he's missing.
这就是我所称的戏剧性的一幕 That's what I call a dramatic situation.
你不是应该趁势大导特导一下这部戏吗 Shouldn't you be directing the life out of it?
乔 迪兰不高兴的时候喜欢去哪 Joe, where does Dylan like to go when he's depressed?
艾丽克斯 他喜欢迪兰没错 但也没有 Alex, he likes him, but it's not like --
公园 宠物店 吉他店 Park, pet store, guitar shop.
怎么 我关注他的照片分享网了 What? I follow his Instagram.
他有双发现美的眼睛 He finds beauty in the mundane.
好 我们分头找迪兰 Okay. We'll search for Dylan in teams.
-米奇 歌洛莉亚 找公园 -太好了 - Mitch, Gloria -- park. - Score.
吉他店 小卡 杰 Guitar store -- Cam, Jay.
宠物店 菲尔 曼尼 走吧 And the pet store -- Phil, Manny, go.
-我能换个... -你想把漂亮脸蛋 - Actually, could I trade? - Your pretty face
换成被打得肿起来的脸吗 来试试看啊 for one that's been freshly whooped? Try me!
我可不可以... Would it be possible if I could --
-快走 -算了 到店里再去洗手间好了 - Move! - ‭Ah, they'll have a bathroom at the store.
他没卡在旋转滑梯里 He's not stuck in the tube slide.
去儿童节目主持人去世时 Ah, it was too much to hope he'd be
他躲起来的地方找他的确有点勉强 where we found him when Mister Rogers died.
"你惹错老娘了 我来找你了" "You messed with the wrong girl. I'm coming for you."
这人是谁 Who is this?
310 310.
贝尔艾尔区号 That's Bel Air.
黑寡妇越狱后就开始威胁你了 The Black Widow is out and already threatening you?
太好了 This is good.
你可以抓住她 再做一次英雄 You get to catch her and be a hero again.
或许我该给黑寡妇发条信息 You know, maybe I should-I should send the Black Widow
告诉她"只是公事公办 别记仇" a-a "no hard feelings" text.
-不 -不 - No. - No?
你在庭上说的都是对的 What you said in court was right.
那个禽兽不值得姑息 That animal deserved no mercy.
她活该被关在笼子里 She deserves a cage.
我说了些狠话 她也说了些狠话 Well, you know, I said some things, she said some things.
这 等等 It's -- Wait, um...
"我不怕 放马过来" "I am not afraid. Bring it on."
好吧 I -- Oh, okay.
所有恶霸都一样 All bullies are the same.
他们装出一副狠相 They act like they're tough,
可当你朝他们鼻子来一拳 他们就缩了 but when you punch 'em in the nose, they back down.
是啊 Yeah.
"我知道你住哪 你死定了" "I know where you live. You're dead."
这种回复很罕见 That response is rare.
他在这 There he is.
迪兰 Dylan.
迪兰 Hey, Dylan!
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
这是我第三次犯完全一样的错误了 That's the third time I've made that exact same mistake.
让我开始质疑越战时的一些约会对象 Makes me wonder about some of my dates in 'Nam.
他不在这 我们走 Well, he ain't here. Let's go.
我知名的辣椒酱从凌晨五点就在炖了 My famous chili has been simmering since 5:00 a.m.
说来有趣 Y-you know, it is funny
你一直说你的辣椒酱"知名" that you keep calling your chili "famous"
可我觉得有点 when I find it a little...
吃过就忘 forgettable.
小卡 我是个成功的男人 Cam, I'm a successful man.
业界巨头 Captain of industry,
跟嘉宝姐妹之一亲热过 made out with a Gabor sister,
1910年代出生的美国知名老牌演员三姐妹
假如我能在董事会再拉点票 and if I can swing a few more board votes,
我们在俄亥俄州的 we break ground on
普里切特衣橱科学院就能破土动工 the Pritchett School of Closet Science at Ohio State.
我真不在乎你怎么看我的辣椒酱 Not really sweating your take on my chili.
他伤我至深 He'd hurt me deeply.
我一直提辣椒酱是因为 I kept mentioning chili 'cause, you know,
我想刺激一下他的记忆 I was trying to jog his memory,
因为我们本该一起做的 'cause we were supposed to make it together.
我一辈子都想找个专门一起看超级碗的伙伴 I've waited my whole life for a special Super Bowl buddy,
能明白这不只是一场球赛的人 someone who understands it isn't just a game.
这是场15小时 4顿饭 It's a 15-hour, 4-meal,
2件上衣 1次打盹的体验 2-shirt, 1-nap experience,
我以为小卡会是那个伙伴 and I thought Cam could be that buddy.
然后我开始担心 Then I started worrying
小卡或许忘了我们一年前的约定 Cam might forget a date we set a year ago.
他还记得 He remembered.
他还记得 斯黛拉 He remembered, Stella!
冷静点 Be cool.
怎么了 Hey, what's up?
没锁屏按到了 Oh, butt-dial.
不 我明白 No, I see.
是啊 没事 Yeah, take it easy.
宠物攻势
鼻子印 男性 高个子 Nose print, man's -- face high,
视线直对兔宝宝 direct eye-line to baby bunnies.
迪兰来过这 Dylan was here.
这家伙就要做家长了 This guy's about to have a kid.
-什么样的成年男性 -它们要醒了 - What kind of adult male -- - They're waking up.
它们要醒了 They're waking up.
他不在这 Hey, look, he's not here.
我们回派对上去吧 Let's just get back to the parties.
我得先去一趟街对面的自助洗衣店 Ooh, I got to stop at that laundromat across the street.
一下就好 我的投注站需要零钱 It'll take a second. I just need change for my squares.
有趣 你感兴趣的事情你就这么上心 Funny. You're so focused when it's your passion project.
你知道吗 曼尼 Y-you know what, Manny?
你说得对 You're right.
那整件事都是我不好 That whole thing was my bad.
谢了 菲尔 Thanks, Phil.
我把两边门都打开好让你这大头症进得去 Let me get both these doors so you and your ego can fit inside.
我不知道你怎么能生我的气 I don't know how you can get mad at me
是你先发了那段丢人的视频 after posting that humiliating video.
什么视频 What video?
别装傻 Don't play dumb.
-俺冷 -停 - Me cold. - Cut!
"我好冷" "I'm so cold."
不是"俺冷" 不是"我不是不冷" Not "Me cold." Not "I'm not not cold."
不是"冰 冰 宝贝"[歌词] Not "Ice, ice baby."
没有正常人会那么说话 No humans say those things!
你要人记住的东西太多了 It is so difficult to build a performance
想好好表演太难了 with a constant barrage of notes!
就一点 别改台词 Note! Say the line!
就三个字 Three words!
你知道我想听哪几个字吗 You know what three words I'd like to hear?
"死得好 菲尔" "Nice death, Phil!"
我只是想帮你 I'm just trying to help you,
你耍什么大牌 you diva !
而你自己高潮个没完 And you keep yourself.
蠢货 蠢货 蠢货 蠢货 Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
难以置信 Unbelievable!
蠢货 蠢货 蠢货 蠢货 蠢货 Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
幸好影片在我真正发飙前就结束了 Fortunately, it cut off right before I really lost it.
曼尼 怎么会是我发的呢 Manny, why would I post a video
视频里说我是"糟糕的演员" calling myself a "terrible actor"?
很可能是我的剪辑师发的 Could've been my editor.
在一次关于很强烈的创作争执中 During a particularly intense creative discussion,
我或许在他女友面前扇了他嘴巴 I may have slapped him in front of his girlfriend.
菲尔 我很抱歉 Phil, I'm sorry.
我认为我很闹心的原因 I think the reason I got frustrated
只有一部分是因为你烂得气人 is only partly due to your infuriating incompetence.
承认起来不难吧 Was that so hard?
别告诉别人 我申请了转学 Between us, I've applied to transfer
去我可以主修会计或法律的学校 to somewhere I can major in accounting or law.
好糊口的专业 Something safe.
我开始质疑 I've started to question
自己是否有拍摄电影的才华 if I have any talent as a filmmaker.
我们来找出答案吧 Let's find out.
影片你带在身上吗 You got your film with you?
在我手机里 On my phone.
我们有最合适的测试观众 We have a perfect test audience.
尝试一把 Take a chance. Let's, uh...
看看你有什么能耐 Let's see what you got.
好吧 我正好也带了投影仪 Okay. I mean, I got my projector.
屏幕也有了 And a screen.
-好吧 我去准备 -太好了 - All right. I'll set it up. - Great.
与此同时 我变个魔术把场子弄热 Meanwhile, I'll warm up the crowd with a magic trick.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
请大家把钱包放入这个枕头套 I need everyone to put their wallets in this pillow case
然后面壁站着 and turn and face the wall.
都找遍了 没人知道迪兰在哪里 Well, that's it. No one knows where Dylan is.
他们最好赶紧找到他 They better.
她的朋友20分钟后就会到 Her friends are gonna be here in 20 minutes --
就是那群人在毕业派对上 the same ones who at a graduation party
投票选她最有可能怀孕且没男人 voted her most likely to be pregnant and alone.
就像我总说的那样 Like I always say --
没朋友好过有一群毒舌朋友 it's better to have no friends than mean friends.
这个嘛 Well...
迪兰一向遇事就跑 Dylan's always been a runner.
天啊 你还记得他以前染金发吗 God, you remember when he was a blond?
我叫他"疯染夫人" Ugh, I called him "Lady Dye-Job"
他就跑走了 我还得去找他... and he ran off, and I had to track him down...
我知道迪兰在哪了 我知道他在哪 I know where Dylan is. I know where he is!
迪兰 Dylan.
迪兰 开门 我是克莱尔 Hey, Dylan, open up. It's Claire.
我不想谈 邓菲太太 I -- I don't want to talk, Mrs. D.
我知道你很难过 Look, I realize you're upset.
但小卡 米奇 卢克 菲尔 But those things that Cam and Mitch
还有歌洛莉亚说的那些话 and Luke and Phil and Gloria said,
其实 都只是小误会 they're -- they were just, uh, silly misunderstandings.
好吧 Okay.
可是你说的那些话呢 But what about what you said?
你知道我们得给家里所有柜子 You realize we're gonna have to baby-proof
装上宝宝防护条吧 all the cabinets at home, right?
想象一下我们看着迪兰 Think of how cute it'll be
努力想打开柜门 有多好笑 watching Dylan try to get into them.
我不该那么说 I shouldn't have said that,
我显然也没料到... and I obviously didn't realize --
什么 我能听懂那个笑话吗 What? That I would get that joke?
太伤人了 邓菲太太 The insult set it up, Mrs. D.
-"疯染夫人"也会受伤的 -迪兰 - "Lady Dye-Job" has feelings. ‭- Oh, Dylan.
迪兰 别这样 亲爱的 派对快开始了 Dylan, come on. Honey, the party is starting --
求你了 我很抱歉 Please. I -- I'm sorry.
我走了 I'm leaving.
开门 我是冈萨雷斯先生 Open up. It's Mr. Gonzales,
泊车员 the parking attendant.
我又不是傻子 邓菲太太 I'm not an idiot, Mrs. D.
我知道你去找了冈萨雷斯先生来 I know you just went to get Mr. Gonzales
想趁我开门给他时冲进来 so you could run in here when I open the door for him.
迪兰 Hey. Hey, Dylan?
迪兰 迪... Dylan? Dyl--
我靠 Ohh, damn it!
能快点吗 我想回去跟克里斯蒂娜道歉 Can we hurry? I want to get back so I can apologize to Christina.
别啊 莉莉 为什么冒受心伤的险 Oh, no. Lily, why risk your heart?
克里斯蒂娜只会伤害你 Christina will just hurt you.
我完全同意 莉莉 I couldn't agree more, Lily.
如果克里斯蒂娜不懂得欣赏你的体贴 幽默 If Christina doesn't appreciate your warmth, your humor,
还有你那些精彩的人生故事 your great stories,
她就不值得你那么在乎她 she's just not worth it.
也许等她老了 孤零零住在那栋大房子里时 Oh, maybe she'll regret taking you for granted
她就会后悔当初没好好珍惜你 when she's old and alone in that big house
并且意识到拥有再多的钱 也无法温暖她的心 and realizes all that money can't keep her warm.
什么情况 What is happening?
现在还在洗衣店放电影了 Movies in a laundromat now?
嬉皮士就不能让事物保持原来的样子吗 Can't hipsters just let a thing be a thing?
我还有很多话想跟你说 阿列克谢 There is much I wish to say to you, Alexei,
不只是现在 还有未来很长时间 not just now, but for long time.
一次忽视 怎么就葬送了20年的友情呢 How could one slight cost 20 years friendship?
是19世纪俄国人的愚蠢骄傲吗 Silly 19th century Russian pride?
我们为什么没有勇气抓住爱呢 Why we not have courage to take chance on love?
我等凡人都是愚者 Fools, us humans.
现在还不算太迟 It's not too late.
但我没时间了 It is for me,
我最好最好的朋友 my great, great friend.
现在我去天上的大克里姆林宫了 I go now to grand Kremlin in the sky.
好冷啊[辣椒酱] It's chilly.
辣椒酱 Chili.
他为什么要提起这个 Why did he have to mention that?
我们今早本该一起煮辣椒酱的 小卡 We were supposed to cook together this morning, Cam.
我一直等着你呢 I waited for you.
可我带着面粉到你家门口了 But I was there on your front porch with flours.
你还记得带增稠剂 You remembered the thickeners?
我当然记得 我以为你忘了 Of course I did. I thought you forgot.
辣椒兄弟一起浪
我还做了件一模一样的给你 I have an identical one for you!
杰 你不知道这对我来说多有意义 Oh, Jay, you don't know how much this means to me!
莉莉 你必须跟克里斯蒂娜道歉 Lily, you -- you have to apologize to Christina.
没错 That's right.
别像我跟小卡 瑟吉和阿列克谢那样 Don't be like me and Cam and Sergei and Alexei.
-自尊心就是毒药 -没错 敞开心扉 - Pride is poison! - Yes, open your heart!
让自己勇敢去爱 Let yourself love!
杰 Jay...
所以没人好奇菲尔姑父 So, nobody's wondering why Uncle Phil
为什么会出演洗衣店电影吗 is starring in a laundromat movie?
不 N-No-o-o-o!
怎么样 So?
称不上 It's...
特别优秀 not very good.
我就知道 纯属浪费时间 I knew it. I wasted my time.
但比之前那部电影好多了 But it's much better than the last one,
而且有一幕特别打动我 and there was one moment when Count Ivanovich was --
就是伊万诺维奇伯爵跟熊下象棋那幕 was playing chess with the bear that really moved me.
那段本来就是 Well, that was supposed to be
整部电影的悲情内核体现 the emotional gestalt of the piece.
你甚至能在背景音里听到我在忍着哭 You can hear me stifle a sob in the cut
这是因为话筒收音员故意坏我电影 because my boom operator was undermining me.
你的剧组真的很有毒 You had an astonishingly toxic set.
听我说 曼尼 如果我是你父亲 Listen, Manny, if I was your dad,
我可能会让你选靠谱的工作 I might tell you to play it safe with your career.
但以粉丝的角度 But as a fan,
我迫不及待想看到你未来的作品 I'm dying to see what you come up with next.
-真的吗 -真的 - Really? - Yeah.
我从你这么点大的时候就在听你编故事 I've been watching you make up stories since you were this big.
我想看到结局 I want to see how it ends.
不是这电影的结局 Not that.
我是想看到你会走向何方 I-I want to see how this ends.
谢谢你 菲尔 Thanks, Phil.
我也想再接再厉 I would like to keep trying,
或许拍一些不那么商业化的片子 maybe something not so commercial.
太好了 That's great.
但我觉得这大概是我悲剧演员的终点了 I do think it's the end of the road for me as a thespian, though.
这样也好 Probably best. ‭
我下一部电影有一个你这年纪的角色 Well, I did have a part in my next film for a guy your age,
但你得有傅满洲那种胡须 but you'd have to grow a Fu Manchu moustache
还得在2周内涨18公斤 and gain 40 pounds in two weeks.
我周二就能准备好 I'll be ready Tuesday.
-香菜 -正确 - Cilantro. - Yes.
-红洋葱丁 -你真厉害 - Diced red onion? - You are good.
还没猜完你可不许跑 Hey, don't run away with the rest of that.
这是什么离奇画面 Ugh, what am I looking at?
米奇尔 过来展示一下什么是真正的爷们 Mitch, come here. Show them how to be a real man.
他收到别人的威胁黒函一整天了 He has been getting threatening texts all day
是个逃犯 但他眼皮都不眨一下 from a fugitive, and he hasn't even flinched.
他们就庆幸自己是美娇男吧 Well, they're lucky they're pretty, right?
老爸 我能借用你的手机吗 Daddy, can I borrow your phone?
我想跟克里斯蒂娜道歉 I want to apologize to Christina.
莉莉 不行 他的手机可能会成为 Lily, no. His phone might be evidence
-谋杀审判庭上的证物 -谁被杀 - in a murder trial. - Whose?
小宝贝 你都用你小爸的手机跟朋友发短信吗 Sweetie, have you been using Daddy's phone to text your friend?
是啊 我说了一些很毒的话 Yeah, and I said some mean stuff.
她估计也没少骂回来 She's probably been texting me back.
天啊 好吧 行 My God. Okay, okay.
"我现在就在你家外 "I'm -- I'm right outside your house.
一切到此结束" This ends now."
"对了 你的发型真难看" "P.S., your hair's ugly."
她吹牛逼呢 她才不在外面 It's a bluff. She's not out there.
但如果你想去确认的话就去吧 I mean, if you want to go check, check.
如果你能去看一眼的话 You know, us weaklings would feel so much better
我们小弱鸡会安心许多 拜托了 if you would just take a quick look. ‭Please.
身为一个法界人士与保护者 Well, as -- as lawman and protector,
这点小事不足... 不足挂齿 that is something that I -- I can do.
谢谢你了 迪兰 Thank you for this, Dylan,
我很感谢你愿意原谅我 and I appreciate you forgiving me
之前说的那些蠢话 for the dumb thing I said earlier.
谁说我原谅你了 Who said I forgave you?
我为你包扎伤口 I'm only treating your injury
纯粹是因为你正在我家做客 because you're a guest in my home.
我知道表面上看来 我一直没接纳你 I know it may seem that I haven't always accepted you,
但我刚认识你那会儿 你是个穿着皮夹克 but when I met you, you were an 18-year-old in a leather jacket
泡我15岁女儿的18岁男孩 dating my 15-year-old daughter.
我理解 I get it.
你也是想保护你女儿 You were trying to protect your daughter
不被我这种男人染指 from a guy like me,
但我已经有很久没当"我这样的男人"了 but I haven't been a guy like me for a long time. ‭
弯曲[通融]一下 Bend for me.
很难啊 迪兰 It's hard, Dylan.
我当了那么多年的护女狂魔... I have been a mama bear for so long...
不是 是弯起手肘 No, your elbow.
好的 Okay.
只... 只是一切都发展太快 It's j-- It's all happening so fast.
但已经在发展了 But it is happening.
我马上就要成为你孙儿的父亲了 I'm about to be the father to your grandbabies.
伸出手吧 Reach out a little.
我是指用心 I meant emotionally.
我敢直面镜子 I can look myself in the mirror
知道自己已经尽了最大努力 and know that I've tried my hardest
为我与你的关系付出 to make our relationship work.
你也能做到吗 Can you do the same?
来吧 Go ahead.
来 我帮你开灯光 Here, let me give you some light.
错了 不是这个色 Oops, uh, not that one.
的确 No.
一个家庭的成长有许多种方式 There are a lot of ways for a family to grow...
达阵得分 Touchdown!
找到你们不知道对方也喜欢的爱好 ...finding interests you didn't know you shared...
别这样 我有两周时间呢 Come on, I've got two weeks!
先用眯眯眼看 你瞧 Blur your eyes. Look at this.
找到能一起踏上的冒险之旅 ...finding new challenges to embark on together...
但这很废功夫 But it takes a lot of work.
一个家庭最好的成长方法 The best way for families to grow
就是为它开枝散叶 is by adding to them.
这杯敬我们家庭最新的成员们 So this is to the newest members of our family.
我很期待多熟悉你们所有人 I look forward to getting to know all of you.
-我爱你们 -干杯 - Love you. - Cheers.
我... 我要冻死了 I'm fre... freezing.
卡 Cut.
这天气还能再冷一点吗 Could it be any colder?
错了 No.
是戴毛帽的季节了吧 Fur hat weather, no?
还错 No.
我好冷 I'm so cold.
开始 And action.
鸟 对吧 Bird, am I right?
你是不是耍我 You gotta be kidding me.