m 211 -8 b 217 -6 217 -4 217 -2 l 217 24 b 217 26 217 29 211 31 l 31 31 b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b 208 0 229 21 229 50 l 229 179 b 229 208 208 228 179 228 l 50 228 b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 325 0 l 355 0 l 332 47 l 354 47 l 399 136 l 369 136 l 328 53 l 288 136 l 257 136 l 325 0 m 467 0 l 497 0 l 474 47 l 496 47 l 541 136 l 511 136 l 470 53 l 430 136 l 399 136 l 467 0 m 545 1 l 583 1 l 583 14 l 568 14 l 568 19 l 583 19 l 583 30 l 568 30 l 568 34 l 599 34 l 599 30 l 583 30 l 583 19 l 599 19 l 599 14 l 583 14 l 583 1 l 611 1 b 616 1 622 6 622 10 l 622 36 l 652 0 l 678 0 l 644 41 l 622 41 l 622 47 l 596 47 l 597 54 l 625 54 l 625 68 l 541 68 l 541 54 l 572 54 l 571 47 l 545 47 l 545 1 m 583 72 l 583 85 l 569 85 l 569 90 l 598 90 l 598 85 l 583 85 l 583 72 l 611 72 b 615 72 621 78 621 82 l 653 44 l 678 44 l 644 86 l 621 86 l 621 103 l 597 103 l 597 136 l 570 136 l 564 126 l 562 136 l 542 136 l 548 107 l 568 107 l 565 121 l 571 121 l 571 103 l 547 103 l 547 72 l 583 72 m 600 107 l 620 107 l 624 124 l 653 89 l 679 89 l 642 136 l 615 136 l 618 132 l 606 132 l 600 107 m 689 0 l 716 0 l 721 15 l 732 15 l 732 30 l 718 56 l 731 56 l 735 100 l 721 100 l 717 59 l 714 64 l 714 136 l 693 136 l 693 79 l 676 79 l 707 30 l 679 30 l 679 15 l 694 15 l 689 0 m 738 0 l 804 0 b 807 0 813 6 813 9 l 813 87 l 794 87 l 794 14 l 756 14 l 756 87 l 763 77 l 763 21 l 787 21 l 787 91 l 798 91 l 798 120 l 820 120 l 812 136 l 778 136 l 778 90 l 748 136 l 723 136 l 756 87 l 738 87 l 738 0 m 257 151 l 275 151 l 297 182 l 319 151 l 337 151 l 304 197 l 304 227 l 290 227 l 290 197 l 257 151 m 337 151 l 355 151 l 377 182 l 399 151 l 417 151 l 384 197 l 384 227 l 370 227 l 370 197 l 337 151 m 425 192 l 447 192 b 445 181 427 181 425 192 l 410 192 b 414 162 458 162 462 192 l 462 206 l 425 206 b 425 210 429 212 433 213 l 462 213 l 462 227 l 433 227 b 412 227 408 203 410 192 m 462 151 l 532 151 l 532 165 l 504 165 l 504 227 l 489 227 l 489 165 l 462 165 l 462 151 m 580 172 l 580 186 l 549 186 b 543 186 543 192 549 192 l 565 192 b 589 192 589 227 565 227 l 532 227 l 532 213 l 565 213 b 570 213 570 206 565 206 l 549 206 b 524 206 524 172 549 172 l 580 172 m 592 213 l 606 213 l 606 227 l 592 227 l 592 213 m 639 172 l 665 172 l 665 186 l 639 186 b 623 186 623 213 639 213 l 665 213 l 665 227 l 639 227 b 603 227 603 172 639 172 m 700 184 b 722 184 722 215 700 215 l 700 229 b 740 229 740 170 700 170 b 660 170 660 229 700 229 l 700 215 b 680 215 680 184 700 184 m 737 172 l 782 172 b 803 172 813 177 813 198 l 813 228 l 799 228 l 799 198 b 799 186 793 187 782 187 l 782 228 l 768 228 l 768 187 l 752 187 l 752 228 l 737 228 l 737 172
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com 仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 38 -1 l 44 6 l 38 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 incanto Flora哎呀呀 洗七里
翻译 油腻希 白头黑熊赛太公
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 被书面警告的瓜瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十七集
好了 同志们 你们可以考虑涂一下防晒霜 Okay, folks, you might want to put on some sunscreen.
这里海拔高 树木都开始变得稀疏了 Up this high, the trees start to thin out.
这儿可能挺适合拍照的 Oh, this might be a good place for a picture.
容我去一下那块石头后面 Oh, let me go behind that rock.
我要换上我的下一套造型 I'll change into my next look.
又一套 Another one?
没办法 他照片分享网的粉丝要求的 He has to. His Instagram follower demands it.
老鹰 Eagle!
不对 假警报 Oh, wait, false alarm.
只是树上的一个塑料袋 It's just a plastic bag in a tree.
老鹰啊 Eagle!
不是 抱歉 Nope. Sorry.
袋子掉下来了 Bag fell.
每年冬天 Every winter,
我都要和兄弟们一起来个观鸟之旅... I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies --
专门去看白头鹰[美国国鸟] specifically to see a bald eagle.
目前为止 还没见到过 So far, no luck.
今年兄弟们来不了 不是背部抽筋 就是屁股开花 This year, my buddies bailed -- back spasm, cracked hip.
当初装淋浴防滑椅时 谁笑我白痴来着 And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair.
我本打算一个人去 I was all set to go solo,
结果这三个粘人精不请自来 when those three tagalongs invited themselves.
他们像一群栗胸森莺一样 They invaded my territory
侵入了我的领土 like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers.
我难道感觉不到自己像一只栗胸森莺 Darned if I didn't feel like a bay-breasted warbler
闯入杰的旅途吗 可歌洛莉亚非让我们来 horning in on Jay's trip, but Gloria made us go.
她很担心我爸 She was worried about my dad
这么大年纪了还一个人在林子里转悠 being out in the woods alone at his age,
所以她轻轻地推了我们一把 让我们加入 so she -- she gently nudged us to join him.
歌洛莉亚 如果我爸不想让我们... Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t--
爸爸 你这周末要干什么去呀 Hey, Dad, uh, whatcha doin' this weekend?
-小小的自然之旅 -听起来很有趣啊 - Ah, little nature trip. - Oh! Sounds like fun.
-带上我们吧 -没错 - Count us in! ‭- Yes.
其实我本来打算独处一... Actually, I was looking for a little alone time --
我是唯一一个脑子里想到白头鹰的人吗 Hey! Am I the only one with bald eagles on the brain?
你知道吗 我想大约10分钟后 You know what? I think in about 10 minutes,
光线会很完美 the light's gonna be perfect
适合拍我的"下午冒险"造型 for my "Afternoon Adventurer" look.
好了 在我们走入森林更深处之前 Okay, uh, before we head deeper into the woods,
我要警告你们 这片区域 I should warn you folks that there's been
有着多次目击熊出没的记录 several bear sightings in the area.
-如果你们恰好带了食物的话 -明白 - So if you happen to have any food with you -- - Got it!
我正想说 I was going to say
你们可以存在防熊箱里... 就在这儿 you can store it in this bear box... here.
好的 Oh. Um, okay.
那么 你们自己先聊会儿天 Well, then, talk amongst yourselves.
我可能要花一会儿时间 It could take me a while
才能找回被我阳刚之力丢远的沉重背包... to find where my manly heave sent that heavy --
在这儿呢 肯定是有人把它扔回来了 Ah! Here it is. Someone must've heaved it back.
谢谢 Thank you!
有人吗 Hello!
歌洛莉亚 谢谢你能来 Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming.
这个女生之夜肯定会很有趣的 It's gonna be such a fun girls' night --
喝着酒 规划着育儿室 drinking wine, planning the nursery.
好了 我本来是要给你惊喜的 Okay, I was going to surprise you,
但我等不及了 but I can't wait anymore.
这是个由历史上伟大女性组成的手工床铃 It's a handmade mobile of great women in history!
埃莉诺·罗斯福[美总统罗斯福的夫人] Eleanor Roosevelt,
罗莎·帕克斯[拒绝给白人让座的黑人女性] Rosa Parks!
我只希望它能契合 I just hope it goes with the theme
迪兰希望的房间主题 that Dylan wants for the room.
这些女性有没有在消防车 Are any of these women important in the fields
或是独角兽方面有杰出成就的 of fire trucks or unicorns?
这多完美啊 How perfect is this?
他们送来了婴儿床 They delivered the crib,
我知道在场刚好有一队手工美人们 and I know just the crew of handy honeys
会帮我把它组装起来的 to help me put it together.
现在不行 妈妈 我今天过得很糟糕 Uh, not now, Mom. I've had the worst day.
我也是 Me, too.
快点 挤点泪出来 Quick, start crying.
我们得尽快浇灭她的热情 赶在... We need to derail her enthusiasm before she s--
太晚了 Unh! Too late.
她已经开始跳了 She's dancing.
太棒了 姐妹们 Way to rock it, girlfriend!
我无法再否认下去了 I cannot deny it anymore.
我变得越来越像白种女人了 I am turning into a white woman.
有什么问题吗 姐妹们 Is there a problem, girlfriends?
单车课程取消了 Spin class was canceled!
不是吧 No!
那我们今天要干什么呢 What are we gonna do with our day?
"困惑时... "When In Doubt...
就吃早午餐" Brunch."
最近的一处卖羽衣甘蓝 Where's the nearest place that serves kale
并且店名里有双关语的地方在哪里 and also has a pun in its name?
这条街的尽头有一家地下甘蓝路餐厅 There's an Underground Kale-Road down the street!
谐音地下铁路 指十九世纪美国帮助非裔奴隶逃亡的秘密路线
-我们走 -感谢上帝 - Let's go! - Thank God.
我最近变得软弱了 I've gotten soft lately.
我想我已经失去了哥伦比亚魂 I think I've lost my Colombian edge.
我想如果我们做成一件事 就能振奋起来 I think we'll all feel better if we accomplish something.
是啊 不像杰 Yes. Unlike Jay.
他去这些打猎旅行已经有二十年了 He's been going on these hunting trips for 20 years,
而他一次也没有猎回白头鹰过 and not once has he brought home a bald eagle!
天哪 Oh, God.
亨德里克斯[著名电吉他演奏者]不识谱 Hendrix couldn't read music,
沙克[篮球明星]罚球很烂 Shaq couldn't make free throws,
而我想象空间与大小的能力很差 and I have a little trouble visualizing space and scale.
这个衣柜设计可以在紧凑的住宅空间中 So, I think this closet design gives us everything we need
提供我们所需的全部功能 in a tight, residential space.
是啊 很巧妙 Yeah. Very clever.
演练一下 Take a walk-through.
看看动线是不是合理 Does the flow make sense?
好吧 Well, um...
我会在洗完澡后 I would get out of the shower
把衣服扔进这里的衣篮 and throw my clothes in the hamper here,
拿一件衣服 然后在这里着装完毕 pick out an outfit, and then get dressed right here.
你刚刚把你的衣服扔进了壁炉 You just threw your clothes in the fireplace
然后在落地窗前穿好衣服 and got dressed in front of the picture window.
你有你早晨起床的方式 米娅 Well, you have your morning routine, Mia.
我也有我的嘛 I have mine.
好了 早点弄完早点收工 All right, let's get this over with.
妈妈 我们从哪儿开始呢 Mom, where do we start?
也许老娘需要一点熟女汁[酒] Maybe Mommy just needs some cougar juice!
我这是怎么了 What's wrong with me?
大家注意脚下 Watch your step, folks.
徒步走到这一段路的时候 Some of the terrain gets a little tricky
有的地形就不太好走了 on this part of the hike.
真好 我还以为我换 Oh. Good. I thought I'd changed
"老林徒步王"装换早了 into my "Remote Trailhead" look too soon.
你还行吗 爸 要不要停下来休息一会 You okay, Dad? Want to stop and take a break?
不 不用 我就是想停下来看看有没有鹰 No, no. I just want to stop and maybe see an eagle. ‭Ah.
大家看看吧 Everybody look.
你徒步了二十年都没见过一只鹰 是吗 You've been doing this for 20 years and never seen one, huh?
是的 嘘 Correct. Shh.
是啊 大自然有时候真的很... Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real --
菲尔 别说话了 Phil, stop talking!
你把鹰都吓跑了 You're scaring the eagles!
对不起 I'm sorry.
我的错 我的错 My bad. My bad.
我真诚地对不起 Also sorry in my head.
天啊 还在吵 Oh, my God!
趁着大家在聊天 我们应该往回走了 Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back.
天很快就会黑了 It'll be dark soon.
或者 你们愿意的话 这条小路前面有个小木屋 Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail.
有点陈旧 不过... It's pretty run-down, but, uh,
你们可以在那里过夜 you're welcome to spend the night.
我要去 I'll do it. ‭
这不太像个好主意啊 Uh... ‭Are -- Are we sure that's a good idea?
不是说有熊吗 Um...wasn't there -- wasn't there mention of bears?
不用 你回家吧 我自己留在这里 No, you go home. I'll stay by myself.
我们不能让他一个人过夜 We -- We can't let him stay by himself.
我们跟歌洛莉亚保证过他的安全 We told Gloria we'd keep him safe.
是啊 要是他要留下来 我们也要留下来 Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying.
好吧 好吧 最坏能坏到哪去呢 Yeah. Yeah. What -- What's the worst that could happen?
想想电影里城里人在废弃的小木屋过夜 I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight
通常都是平平安安 绝对没有杀人魔 in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay.
不管了 我要到前面去看看 Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards
这个安保糟糕的精神病院有没有明信片 up at this poorly guarded mental institution.
靠 我要饿死了 Damn it, I'm starving.
这里除了一瓶旧威士忌什么都没有 Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey.
不要一直想着你有多饿或者想着 Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are
米奇尔把吃的都放在防熊箱里了 or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box.
我们都把食物放在... We all left the food in the --
你又换衣服了吗 Did you change again?
是啊 我又混搭了几件 Yeah, I just threw a few things together
来了一套"乡间小屋"装 to create a "Rustic Cabin" look.
至少不用担心熊的问题 Well, at least the bears won't be a concern.
信我这个房产经纪人的话 Take it from a realtor.
这把史密斯威利锁可是上好品质 This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard.
好了 我觉得我们现在可以拼起 All right, I think we are now ready to put together
我们漂亮的L形婴儿床了 our beautiful, L-shaped crib.
这不对啊 一边比另一边大太多了 I-I-- This can't be right. One's way bigger.
而且 我的宝宝要像在中继之家一样 And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please,
想来就来想走就走吗 like they're in a halfway house?
好吧 稍微有点看错了图纸 Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram.
我觉得我们把长边和短边 I think we're just gonna need to swap
换一下位置 a short side for a long side.
同时再把支架折弯就可以了 And in the meantime, we bent that bracket.
艾丽克斯 你能去趟五金店吗 Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store?
不可能 No way.
我不相信自己的开车技术了 I don't trust myself to drive anymore.
我报名当了一个来校访问学者的 I signed up to be the student liaison
学生联络员 for a visiting scholar on campus --
肯尼斯·彭罗斯爵士 Sir Kenneth Penrose.
是的 大名鼎鼎的肯尼斯·彭罗斯爵士 Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose.
微生物学界的摇滚明星啊 Rock star of the microbiology world.
我知道你可能都要听腻了 I know you must hear this a lot,
但你是我开始打台球的原因 but you're the reason I took up snooker.
你还有打吗 Do you still play?
最近我不得不放下台球 I've had to lay down my cue lately.
这几个月我一直在研究埃博拉疫苗 I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine.
就在刚刚 我有了重大突破 Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough.
我简直等不及去实验室记下 I can't wait to get to the lab and jot --
那是我的化学老师 Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor.
我可不希望自己出名是因为 I would not want to be known as the girl who --
肯尼斯爵士 Sir Kenneth? ‭
我在哪 W-Where am I?
你不知道有多羞愧 You don't know the shame.
现在除了像社会学教授那样的笨蛋 Now they won't let me drive around
他们谁都不让我载了 anyone smarter than a sociology professor.
你知道今天还有谁摔地上了吗 我 You know what else hit the ground today? Me.
就在我弯腰捡地板上的甜甜圈的时候 While I was bending over to pick up a doughnut off the floor!
上面沾了好多灰 不过我不在乎 It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care,
因为我是个恶心的大猪怪 'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster.
宝贝 别这么说 Oh, honey, please.
你还是像 You're as --
以前一样漂亮 as beautiful as ever.
跟"脸部解锁"说去吧 Tell that to MugScan.
那是我上班的地方用的一个人脸识别软件 MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work.
那软件对我很不友好 It was really mean to me.
早上好 韦恩 Good morning, Wayne.
韦恩 Wayne?
我才不是韦恩 你个大混蛋 I'm not Wayne, you jerk!
你没事吧 海莉 You all right, Haley?
我没事 韦恩 I'm fine, Wayne.
我摔倒的时候一只鞋掉了 One of my shoes flew off in the fall,
而我都穿不回去 因为我的脚太肿了 and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen.
你知道谁做鞋做得好吗 新百伦 You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance.
我快走去看尼尔·戴蒙德[歌手]的时候就穿这鞋 I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond.
妈 这个隔板是不是有点高 Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high?
没有啊 就应该是那样的 No. No, it's supposed to be that way.
那样的话 要是一个宝宝想去看他的兄弟 That way, if one twin wants to visit the other,
他就可以哒哒哒走过来"你好呀" he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!"
我有点小想法 Couple thoughts.
对七 对A Pair of 7s. ‭Ace high.
大家好 让你们见见多恩·莱蒙和鲁保罗 Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul,
一对黑皇后[黑人骚基] a pair of black queens. ‭
米奇尔 这都是你第三次晃荡到那儿了 Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there.
你在那干什么呢 What are you doing?
-没什么 -他嘴里有东西 - Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth.
-抓住他 过来 -没 我没吃 - Get him! come here! - No. No, I don't.
-别 别 -别反抗 - No, no, no! - Don't -- Don't fight. Don't --
他有牛肉干 He has beef jerky!
这是最后一块了 我发誓 That's the last of it. I swear.
-他撒谎 检查口袋 -没有 我 - He's lying. Check his pockets. - No, I --
住手 住手 Stop it, stop it, stop it!
是家庭装的 It's a family pack!
我希望牛肉干[混蛋]的滋味和这讽刺一样足 I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony.
-交出来 -不 停手 停手 - Give it! - ‭No, stop it! Stop it --
不 No!
太好了 我们给满森林的熊 Great. We're sending beef smoke signals
发了牛肉味信号 to a forest full of bears.
对不起 我本该分享的 I'm sorry! I should've shared!
与此同时 有满满一背包的远足零食 Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks
就在路那头 just up the road!
干酪 熏火腿 Brie, prosciutto,
更别提还有歌洛莉亚在品趣志上推荐的 not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter
美味的枫糖核桃味黄油 that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board.
我受够了 我要出去 That's it. I'm going out there.
杰 等等 Jay, wait!
假如你看到了熊 记住 If you see a bear, remember --
用手机上的手电筒晃他 blind it with the flash on your phone,
然后用顺从的姿势躺到地上 then lie on your back in a submissive pose.
我不会那么做的 假如我和熊迎头碰上 I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear,
它最好逃命去 he better run!
外面好黑 It's darker out there --
你确定这主意好吗 Are you sure it was the best idea
不该先搬到楼上再组装吗 to attach these before moving them upstairs?
我肉眼量过 应该能轻松通过 Yeah, I eyeballed the space. It really should fit easily.
只不过艾丽克斯把我们"开进死胡同"了 Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam.
肯定是送披萨的 我来了 卡尔 Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl!
你知道送披萨的叫什么吗 You know the pizza guy's name?
才不知道 No!
海莉 ‭Hey, Haley.
真惊讶 你居然在午夜前点披萨 Surprised to get an order from you before midnight.
对了 上次那个 By the way, how'd you like
特别定制的虾薯披萨好吃吗 that custom shrimp and potato pizza?
我根本不知道你在胡说什么 I don't even know what you're talking about.
爱死了 也爱死你了 Loved it. Love you.
我去拿钱包 Gonna go get my wallet!
妈 Mom?
好吧 Okay.
艾丽克斯 快去楼下拿个螺丝刀 Alex, run downstairs and get a screwdriver.
等我们把栅栏拆了就能轻松通过了 This whole thing will fit easily once we take the cribs apart.
我们根本不知道 We don't even know
这东西能不能通过卧室门 if this thing is gonna fit through the bedroom door.
当然能通过 Of course it will.
但要是能让你高兴 我再量一次 But if it makes you happy, I will measure again.
瞧 See?
你总把我录的节目覆盖... You always record over my programs --
好吧 这样如何 Okay, no, how about this?
我们围在一起组成一个大块头 We all band together to form one big man
去拿吃的 to go get the food.
不 这怎么能行得通 No! ‭How's that supposed to work?
-背靠背 胳膊挽起来 -拜托 - Okay, back to back, um, and-and then link arms. - Come on.
-好吧 -转过来 胳膊伸过来 - Okay. - ‭Turn around, give me your arm.
瞧 就像这样 明白吗 See, look? Like this, all right?
我们看起来块头很大很可怕吧 Do we look big and scary?
我想是的 Well, I think so.
我们朝门移动 Let's move towards the door.
好 Okay.
慢慢来 Nice and easy.
我们是一个要去林间散步的大块头 We're just one big man out for a walk in the woods.
分散 Scatter!
活下来了 We made it.
等等 米奇尔在哪 Wait! Where's Mitchell?
他没成功逃脱 He didn't make it!
你们两个人之一得去找他 One of you two need to go get him!
我最好留在这做熊诱饵 I'm better staying here as a bear decoy.
我身上自带麝香味 I give off a natural musk.
总有鸟落在我身上 松鼠也从我手里吃食 Birds land on me all the time. Squirrels eat out of my hand.
我不能去 不能让莉莉双父双亡 Well, I can't go! Lily needs at least one living parent!
等等 Wait!
我们怎么知道来的不是熊 How do we know it's not the bear?
是我 It's me!
你们把我抛下了 You just left me!
你也没在外面多久 Oh, you weren't out there that long.
你没把吃的拿来吗 You didn't get the food?!
我差点成吃的了 I almost was food!
我真希望压根没参加这破远足 Okay, I-I wish I never even came on this stupid trip!
谁逼你来的 Well, who forced you?
歌洛莉亚 Gloria!
我是靠这脚脖子送披萨的 It's my delivery ankle.
真的伤得很重 大伙 It's really bad, dudes.
本来就有漆弹射击的旧伤 卡尔 It was already weak from your paintball injury, Carl.
我叫你去看医生了 I told you to get it checked out,
可你就是讨厌医生 but you and doctors.
好吧 我跟他有点交情 Okay, fine, I know him a little.
祸不单行 对吧 When it rains, it pours, huh?
玛格利特安今早跟我分手了 Margaret-Anne left me this morning.
然后我爸又在电话里叫我"克雷格" Then my dad called me "Craig" on the phone again.
那是他新儿子的名字 That's the name of his new son.
天哪 卡尔 至少让我们送你回家吧 Oh, God. Carl, can we at least drive you home?
还不行 Not now.
我得给劲敌西格玛兄弟会送十张披萨 I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies, the Sigmas.
那些富二代利用"30分钟没送到就免费"政策 Those rich kids get their kicks taking advantage
占我们便宜 觉得很过瘾 of our "30 Minutes or it's Free" Policy --
用所有小把戏拖慢我的速度 use every trick in the book to slow me down.
今晚没门 查德和奇普 Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip.
今晚没 Not to-
骨头肯定支出来了 对吗 The bone's got to be sticking out, right?
没有 肿都没肿 No, it's not even swollen.
卡尔 我们今天都很不顺 Look, Carl, we've all had rough days.
何不让我们帮你把披萨送到 Why don't you let us finish this delivery for you?
好 可我们只剩十分钟了 Okay, but we've only got, like, 10 minutes.
那我们走 过来 Let's go, then! Come here.
-好 -快来 - Okay. - ‭Come on!
今天完成一项任务会感觉很好的 It'll feel good to get something right today.
再说 我不介意 Plus, I wouldn't mind
收拾几个兄弟会的白人小混蛋 sticking it to some preppy, white jerks.
白人也有白人的烦恼 Hey! That life comes with its own problems!
别生气 爸 Don't be mad, Dad.
歌洛莉亚也是担心你嘛 Gloria was just worried about you.
我不想谈这事 I don't want to talk about it.
我们就静静地喝一杯吧 Let's just have a drink and be quiet.
那火焰呈现出很多种颜色 对吧 Lot of colors in that fire, huh?
红 绿 Red, green...
-黄 蓝... -老天 够了 - yellow, blue... - Geez. Okay.
你怎么老是逼逼个不停 干嘛呢 What is this yammering with you?! Seriously!
我不知道 I don't know.
可能我不喜欢与自己的思绪独处吧 I guess I just don't like being alone with my own thoughts.
又或者是因为我有两个外孙快出生了 Maybe it's because I have a couple of grandkids on the way,
但现在 如果周围太安静了 but now, if -- if things get too quiet,
我就会开始胡思乱想 my mind goes to a dark place fast.
开始担心我爱的人 I start to worry about the people that I love
害怕他们会遭遇什么不测 and all the bad things that could happen to them.
可能我内心觉得说话.... 会赶走那些念头 I suppose talking... pushes those thoughts out
让我平静下来 and helps me feel okay.
我懂 I get it.
我们都有充满负能量的时候 We can all spiral.
但你不能用说话来解决 But you can't talk your way out of it.
而是得通过思考 You got to think your way out of it.
想象一个让自己快乐的地方 You know, find a happy place.
试试这样 Try this.
30秒 不说话 开始 30 seconds, no talking. Go.
-兄弟 你神游到哪去了 -我回来了 - Buddy, where are you? - I'm back. Yep.
我认为我们能从他身上学到很多 You know, I think we can learn a lot from this guy,
因为我们害怕的 because it's not the --
不是外面的熊 the bears out there that we're afraid of.
而是我们生活中的"熊" It's the bears in our lives --
让我们夜不能寐 the fear that keeps us up at night.
这个话题很有趣 等我换上"炉边谈心"装后 And I think that's an interesting topic we can return to
我们再继续讨论 once I change into my "Fireside Chat" Look.
又去换衣服 Another wardrobe change?
你就像婚礼当天苏丹的新娘一样 换装个不停 You're like a sultan's bride on her wedding day.
继续说吧 取笑我吧 Go ahead -- make fun of me.
我喜欢我的衣服 I like my outfits.
为什么要那么多 Why so many?
我想是因为我小的时候 Yeah, I guess when I was a kid,
我发觉自己永远都无法融入大众 I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in,
于是我决定引人注目 so I decided to stand out.
我坦然接受了自己的浮夸骚气 I embraced my flamboyance
好让世人知道 他们的羞辱伤不了我 to let the world know their insults won't hurt me.
想开我玩笑吗 尽管开 因为我会配合你 Want to make a joke about me? Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it.
说得真好 小卡 That's really beautiful, Cam.
而且你不是一个人 And you're not alone.
谁小时候不是个没安全感的书呆呢 Growing up, we were all insecure nerds in our own way.
我小时候很酷 I was cool.
怎么了 我们不是在分享内心故事吗 What? I thought we were sharing.
你很勇敢 小卡 了不起 That's very brave, Cam. That's good stuff.
你疯了吗 不该由我来开车 Are you crazy?! I shouldn't be the one driving!
没时间争论了 开就是了 快点 There is no time to argue! Just go! Come on!
曼扎尼披萨店 30分钟内送达 否则免费哦
很感谢你们让我加入你们 Thanks so much for making me part of your group.
不是每天都能交到四个新死党的 It's not every day you make four new best friends.
他们为什么那么慢 Why are they going so slow?!
我没法超过他们 I can't get past them!
这是西格玛兄弟会的策略之一 This is one of Sigma's tactics.
他们用手机应用追踪我所在地点 They track my location on the app
然后派想入会的人来拖慢我的速度 and send pledges to try to slow me down.
我该怎么办 Ugh! What am I gonna do?!
我来搞定 I'll handle this.
卡尔 我要借用你的漆弹枪 Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns!
让开 否则我打爆你们 Move! Or I move you!
我的哥伦比亚魂果然还在 I do still have my edge!
好棒 Yes!
你能加入我的漆弹队伍吗 Will you join my paintball team?
那是什么玩意 What is that?!
小黄人雷区 典型的西格玛招数 Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas.
别被他们的可爱分心 Don't get distracted by the cuteness.
我们只剩下五分钟 We only have five minutes.
直接绕过它们 Just go around them.
天啊 我做到了 Oh, my God, I did it!
你们都还在车上 没人被甩出去 And you're all still in the car!
好了 我们不能让他们找到借口 Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say
说披萨没按订单制作 that we didn't fill the order perfectly,
赶快检查披萨 确保配料没移位 so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift.
海莉 我觉得你多虑了 Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing --
卡尔 你有披萨切片器吗 Carl, do you have a pizza slicer?
只有一个我为公司服务十年得到的纪念切片器 Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service.
给我 我脑中有画面了 Give it to me. I have a vision.
奥尼尔和亨德里克斯从没能突破自身弱点 Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots.
也许是因为他们不够渴望 Maybe they didn't want it enough.
想把九个披萨变成十个 很简单 Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter
只需从每个披萨切走一片 of removing one slice from each pie,
然后将剩下的披萨 then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza
每片都切走一小块V型 from each of the remaining slices,
把切片从36°角变为40°角 turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles,
再把所有40°角的切片 then putting together the 40-degree angles
拼成九个小了一圈的披萨 into nine slightly smaller pies.
之后 再用一开始切出的九片披萨 After that, one had only to repurpose
拼出第十个披萨 the nine previously removed slices into a 10th pie.
十个 And...10!
成功了 It worked!
真的成功了 It really did.
我果然有图像式脑子 I do have a visual brain.
这就是你纠结的事吗 That was your thing?
我真不怀念有白人烦恼 I do not miss having white-people problems.
到了 我成功了 We're here! I did it!
得在一分钟之内把披萨送进屋 走吧 We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go!
等一下 等一下 兄弟会有可视门铃 Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell.
他们如果看到是外卖 就会拖延到超时 If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock.
我来搞定 I'll handle this.
靠那边站 Stay on that side.
什么事 Yeah?
你好 Hi. Um...
我是A大的 人家醉得不行了 I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk.
你们有地方借我醒酒过夜吗 Is there a place where I can sober up for the night?
至少老娘的脸还足够美艳 能进入兄弟会的房子 At least my looks can still get me into a frat house.
好了 各位 上啊 Okay, guys, go, go!
十个披萨准时送达 10 pizzas on time.
付钱 Pay up!
你们跟卡尔是一伙的吗 You guys with Carl?
我们就是卡尔 We are Carl.
来吧 快点 愿赌服输 Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet!
我就说我能比你们金鸡独立更久 I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you!
你是唯一一个喝完一大杯威士忌后 You're the only one whose balance gets better
平衡感反而比喝之前更好的人 after drinking a jug of whiskey.
好啦 我的粉丝一定会喜欢这画面 All right. My follower is gonna love this!
大家说"茄子" Everybody say "Cheese!"
-茄子 -很好 - Cheese. - ‭Yes.
好啦 这就是建立起自我品牌的方法 Okay, now, that is how you build a brand.
看来我们应该继续把剩下的威士忌喝完 Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey.
那杀人魔来的时候我们请人家喝什么啊 But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers when they arrive.
虽然你漫不经心开玩笑 You know, you joke,
但你语气里暗藏着某种偏执妄想 but you have a certain paranoia about you.
这... 背后到底是什么原因呢 What -- What's behind that?
这个嘛... Well...
我们要听到米奇尔心中的"熊"了吗 Ooh! Are we about to hear about Mitchell's bear?
好吧 其实是... Uh, okay. It -- It's, um...
我没有跟任何人说过 但是... I've never told anyone this, but, uh,
有个算命师曾经预言 a fortune teller once predicted
我活不到46岁的冬天 that I would not live to see my 46th winter.
是以前我们家隔壁的那个疯子吗 Was that that kook that used to live next door to us?
她是神经病啊 She's nuts.
她还说过你妈有一天会赢托尼奖呢 She told your mother she was gonna win a Tony one day.
美国剧场界最高荣誉
但她也预言对了其他很多事情啊 But she was right about a lot of other things.
她说我会变成律师 She said that I'd become a lawyer.
她还说我有一天会跟一个小丑结婚 She said that I would marry a clown one day.
当时听到我可是笑了好久 Laughed a long time about that one.
为什么要笑 Why?
总而言之 我内心的"熊" Anyway, I-I guess my "bear"
大概就是害怕英年早逝吧 is the fear of dying young.
如果那个算命师算得准 Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right,
那我只剩三年能活了 I only have three more years to live.
你知道吗 按我来看 Well, y-you know what? The way I see it,
这个小小的诅咒是上天的礼物 this little curse is actually a gift --
让你有理由充分享受人生 a reason to live life to the fullest.
也不给自己留下遗憾 And have no regrets.
行 大家都相信并接受我活不过46岁了 Okay, so we're all just accepting this 46-year thing as true?
我们能理性看待它 We've made our peace with it.
你也应该这样 And so should you.
为什么不在你有限的日子里 Why not just live your limited days
做到心中不藏着任何话 with leaving nothing unsaid?
对你最在乎的人说出你的感受 Tell the people who matter the most how you feel.
我每天都跟你与莉莉说我爱你 I tell you and Lily I love you every single day.
的确 那对菲尔呢 True. What about Phil?
他今天早上也有发短信给我说"爱尼" He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning.
也能算数 Close enough.
那你爸爸呢 And your dad?
你不是吧 Seriously?!
对他开口说这个词很难嘛 I just have a hard time saying that word to him.
我个人对此也没有意见 Which is fine for the both of us.
好吧 感觉起来 Okay, well, it sounds like
你也羞于说出这个词 you might be uncomfortable with that word, too.
才没有 我对这词没任何问题 我整天说 No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time.
我整天都有在说我爱什么东西 I'm always saying I love things. I --
我爱穿上用微波炉热过的温暖袜子 I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave.
我爱听远方火车汽笛的声音 I love the far-off sound of a train whistle.
会感觉"他们又去哪里冒险啦" You know, "Ooh! What adventure have they gotten off to?"
我还爱看婴儿伸懒腰 I -- I love watching a baby stretch.
杰 这些都是你生活中的美好事物 但... Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but...
你的"熊"是什么 what's your "bear"?
我没有啊 I don't have one.
别这样 我们都说出自己的了 Oh, come on! We all told you ours.
等你们活到我这个岁数 Now, when you get to my age,
人生中能让你害怕的事物就越来越少了 there are less things that you're afraid of.
除了或许... Except maybe...
自己变成家人的累赘 being a burden to your family.
而这已经开始发生 Which is starting already,
因为歌洛莉亚逼你们来照顾我 because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me,
这也是为何我执意要在此过夜 which is why I wanted to spend the night here
好证明自己不是... 脆弱的糟老头 so I could prove I'm not some...frail old man.
但如果要我实话实说 But, if I'm being honest,
每年爬上来都感觉比前一年更累了 that hike gets tougher for me every year.
我今年也庆幸我不是自己一个人爬 And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone.
老爸 Oh, Dad.
你永远不会是累赘 You could never be a burden.
对啊 你才是总是照顾着我们大家的人 Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us.
我们很乐意有机会照顾你 We'd love the chance to return the favor.
好啦 时间晚了 All right. It's getting late.
这个山地皮条客装穿到我流汗 This mountain pimp outfit's making me sweat.
大家... 大家都去睡了吧 Let's -- Let's get some rest.
晚安 Good night.
晚安啦 我睡沙发 Good night. I'll take the sofa.
你确定你自己睡这里没问题吗 Sure you're gonna be okay out here?
-当然啦 我肯定没事 -好 - Yeah, I'll be fine. - ‭Okay.
你... 你要不要我帮你多拿条被子还什么 Do -- Do you want me to grab you an extra blanket or something?
不 不用了 我需要会自己去拿 No, no. I'll get something if I need it.
好吧 那... Okay. Well...
晚安啦 Good night.
我都知道 I know.
好啦 老爸 我们准备好走了 All right, Dad. We're ready to go.
对啊 杰 Yeah, Jay.
很遗憾你这次又没有看到白头鹰 I'm sorry you didn't see a bald eagle this time around.
是啊 太遗憾了 Y-Yeah. It's too bad.
看来我们只能明年再一起回来碰运气了 I guess we'll all have to come back here again next year.
好啊 Yeah.
我不知道你们怎么样 但我睡得好香 I don't know about you guys, but I slept great.
那个小床好软 我平常很容易睡不好 That cot was so soft. I'm not always a sound sleeper.
本来还一直很想去试试吃褪黑素 Been meaning to try that melatonin.
我听说超级有效呢 I hear it's a real game-changer.
现在那东西好像到处都有卖 And you can get it anywhere nowadays.
那东西一直都是非处方药[柜台后]吗 Has it always been over-the-counter?
这词挺有意思的对吧 "柜台后" Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it -- "Over-the-counter"?