m 211 -8 b 217 -6 217 -4 217 -2 l 217 24 b 217 26 217 29 211 31 l 31 31 b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b 208 0 229 21 229 50 l 229 179 b 229 208 208 228 179 228 l 50 228 b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
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原创翻译 双语字幕
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m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 38 -1 l 44 6 l 38 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 incanto 洗七里 油腻希
翻译 Flora哎呀呀 2-7p俱乐部赛太公
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 三水
后期 一上班就等下班的瓜瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第十九集
小声点 你会吵到莉莉 Shh! You'll wake Lily.
你是有多醉啊 How drunk are you?
我跟你说三次她出去校外旅行了 I told you three times she's on that school trip.
你要是不这么小声说 I'd feel more confident
-你的话会更有说服力一点 -你说得合理 - if you weren't also whispering. - Fair point.
你... 你擦了口红吗 Are -- Are you wearing lipstick?
我是擦了指甲油吗 ‭Am I wearing nail polish?
我们算是出去疯了一晚 So, we kind of had a crazy night out.
本来一开始只是 It started off at this little
去一家我听人说的隐秘地下酒吧 under-the-radar speakeasy I heard about.
他网上搜了"我家附近的酷酒吧" Uh, he Googled "Cool bars near me."
反正呢 我们遇到了一帮20岁小年轻 Anyway, we met a group of 20-somethings
大家相谈甚欢 that took a shine to us.
他们带我们进入了地下派对 They introduced us to the world of underground parties
与一杯鸡尾酒要18块的世界 and $18 cocktails.
-真的是太烧了 -是燃 - It was so burnt. ‭- Lit.
-太燃 -燃 - Lit. - ‭Lit.
我们去的这些酒吧 有半数我都记不得了 I don't even remember half these bars.
我们昨晚还去了医院吗 Did we go to a hospital last night?
塔克奶奶的招牌解宿醉秘方 Okay, Grandma Tucker's hangover remedy --
在你的舌下放小块黄油 把脖子往后仰 put a pat of butter underneath your tongue, tip your head back,
我把辣酱往你鼻子灌 and I'll pour the hot sauce up your nose.
等等等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-是宾克发来的群短信 -什么 - That's a group text from Binker. - ‭What?
-是的 -天啊 - Mm-hmm. ‭- Oh, my gosh.
大伙们今晚还想再一起去派对呢 The gang wants to get back together and party tonight.
你还说他们看到我们 And you said we'd never hear from them
在丹尼酒吧灯光下的丑样后 就会断绝联系 after they saw us in that horrible Denny's lighting.
我们的回应得百分百恰到好处 Okay, we have to play this exactly right --
不能显得自己死命想巴着人家 We don't want to come off too eager,
但又得让他们知道我们愿意一起嗨 but we also want to let 'em know we're down to mob.
-要亲命了 -小卡 你知道我们的规矩 - Oh, my God. - ‭Cam, you know our rule,
绝对不连续两晚出去野 we never go out two nights in a row.
-我知道 但这是... -我们今晚还要去 - Yeah, I know, but this is... - We're already pushing it
听系列讲座呢 这已经算很勉强了 by going to that lecture series tonight.
什么系列讲座 What lecture series?
美储联主席首席助手的讲座 Alan Greenspan's top aide.
我们买了季票 因为我们想要最好的座位 We bought the season pass so we'd get premium seating
去听"幽默作家弗兰·拉伯维治的讽刺之夜" to "A Night of Sarcasm with Fran Lebowitz."
大家都要去呢 Oh, everyone's in.
还用了不同肤色竖拇指 年轻人就是反歧视 Look at all those thumbs of colors. They're so woke.
"我们不去 下次见" "We're out. Catch you next time"?
米奇尔 Mitchell.
你怎么可以这样 How could you?
小声点暴走 别吵醒莉莉了 Storm out softly. You'll wake Lily.
早啊 老婆 别在意我这一身加州理工装备 Morning, honey. Don't mind all the Caltech gear.
我只是想给艾丽克斯惊喜 带她去吃午饭 I figured I'd surprise Alex at school and take her to lunch.
学期末这时候你要去给她惊喜吗 Surprise her? At the end of the semester?
亲爱的 她应该在忙于各种期末考之中吧 Honey, she's probably in the middle of exams.
她绝对会... She's gonna be...
欣喜若狂 thrilled.
你有看过自己的录像 是你在观看时 Have you ever seen a video of yourself
才发现自己当时没意识到穿着有多难看吗 wearing something you didn't realize was unflattering?
我最近有了这样的经验 Well, that happened to me recently, and...
而难看的是我的性格 it was my personality.
千百年来 人类一直渴望能像 For centuries, man has longed to rule the air
伟大的飞鼠般掌握腾空的能力 like the majestic squirrel.
一切将在今日终止 The wait ends today.
不行 Nope.
那如果我们... Uh, but what if we --
-一样没卵用 -妈 - Doesn't matter. - Hey, Mom.
我戴这个是好看的对吧 I can pull this off, right?
让我来帮你调整 Let me. ‭Oh.
我们不在家 Ah, we're not home.
我决定要不那么负面 I made a decision to be less negative.
这是崭新的我 对一切都说"好"的女人 It's the new me, the girl who says "Yes."
朋友周末去墨西哥玩 在帮忙看 Friend went to Mexico for the weekend.
我还在拿捏那个平衡点 I'm finding the level.
好帅啊 像《迈阿密风云》里似的 Crockett and Tubbs, you look snazzy.
谢谢... 你的话是称赞吧 Thanks... I think.
我在试着打扮自己 I'm trying to step up my game.
我最近开始跟工作认识的一个人交往 I started seeing someone from work.
亲爱的 我觉得呢 Oh, honey. I don't know
跟工作认识的人交往感觉不太... if I think that's such a good idea that --
没事没事 我赞成 Never mind. I approve.
如果我妈知道事情的全部 我不信她会同意 I doubt my mom would approve if she knew the whole story.
泳池工 Pool boy.
我这里需要新毛巾 I need more towels.
女士 马上来 Right away, ma'am.
搞定 我刚同意了另一个设计 Done. I just approved another design.
世界上最豪华的狗窝 The most luxurious dog bed yet.
我称它为... I call it...
狗窝之巅 The Top of the Bark.
真好啊 你现在可以在家营运新公司 Ah, that's nice that you can run your new company at home
就能穿着只能在家穿的衣服了 in clothes that you can only wear at home.
当男人到了某个年龄后 When men get to a certain age,
他们就不再在乎外表 they stop trying.
我看过这情况了 I've seen it before.
先从服装开始 First, it starts with the clothes,
然后是身材 最后是脑子 then the body, then the brain.
但我不能跟杰提任何一点意见 But I can't say anything to Jay,
因为每当提到他的外表问题 because when it comes to his appearance,
他总是格外敏感 he's very sensitive.
亲爱的 我回来啦 Mi amor, I'm back.
欢迎回来 Welcome home. ‭
你不喜欢 对吧 You hate it, right?
我去剃了 就是个笑话 I'll shave it. It's a joke.
我个傻逼 Stupid!
日安 各位 Good dawning, all.
我眼前的这是什么 What am I looking at?
兽医担心你会咬自己吗 Is the vet worried you're gonna bite yourself?
这是传统的都铎式领子 It's a traditional Tudor collar.
我请求加入学校的伊丽莎白时代社团 I'm pledging my school's Elizabethan Society,
这是他们要求的入团羞辱仪式 and I have to wear this as a hazing ritual.
我觉得还行啊 I don't hate it.
我觉得这让你的脑袋看起来 I think it makes your head
像是那种高档饼干之类的 look like one of those fancy cookies.
我还得背诵几段莎士比亚的独白 I also have to recite several Shakespearean monologues
然后给学校食堂加一点下流装饰 and festoon our dining hall with some bawdy bunting.
这年代的羞辱仪式是怎么回事 What happened to hazing?
以前都是很爷们的玩法 你懂的 It used to be macho stuff, you know,
比如让人从你的肚脐眼喝烈酒 like making a guy drink a shot out of your belly button
大学兄弟会的入会仪式常伴有羞辱性质的挑战 但通常不会有杰说的那么基味十足
或者是大家屁股夹着橘子传来传去 or passing an orange around only using your butt cheeks.
这可是学校里最难进的社团之一 Look. It's one of the most selective groups on campus.
我不想话说太早触自己霉头 I don't want to jinx it,
但一周之后 我很有可能就在学习 but a week from now, I could be learning
秘密小步舞曲的舞步了呢 the steps of the secret minuet.
这就是学校消灭校园霸凌的后果 This is what happens when you eliminate campus bullying.
杰 你觉得如何 Jay, what do you think?
我们去好餐厅吃顿午饭 We'll go out for a nice lunch,
稍微打扮一下 dress up a little bit.
这感觉是在攻击我啊 This feels like an attack.
我最多也只能婉转到这个地步了 All right, that's as gentle as I can go,
我是哥伦比亚人 不是加拿大人 I am Colombian, not Canadian.
我刚收到俱乐部寄来的电邮 I got an e-mail from the club.
一些老人要在周间早晨占用我们的高球练习场 The older players have taken over the driving range
来练习室外地滚球 for bocce weekday mornings.
那又怎么样啦 你们可以晚点再打高尔夫啊 So what? You can play golf later.
不行 我们有一个群组 No, we got a whole group --
叫日出挥杆手 the Sunrise Swingers.
我们每天6点见面 打一桶球 We meet there at 6:00, hit a bucket.
群组里的一个女成员还要做背心制服呢 One of the gals is making up tank tops.
太好了 更多休闲服 Oh, yay. More casual clothes.
这样不行 我要去俱乐部 No, I'm going down there,
寻求其他高球手的支持 get the support of some of the other golfers.
-或许我们还能抢回时间段 -好主意啊 - Maybe I can fight this thing. - Okay, good idea,
但别忘了俱乐部有着装要求啊 but don't forget that there is a dress code at the club.
他们很可能已经撤销这规定了 They probably already overturned it.
自从他们不再往小便斗里放冰块 Ah, the whole place went to hell
那地方就一落千丈了 when they stopped putting ice in the urinals.
在尿尿时摧毁某样东西 There's just something about destroying a thing
让人有种成就感 while you're taking a pee
那令男人觉得自己雄风不减 that makes a man feel like a man.
你好啊 Oh, well, hello there.
-爸爸 你怎么来啦 -你好 - Uh, Dad. What are you doing here? - ‭Hi.
我想带你去吃午饭 I thought I'd take you to lunch.
我不只是为了吃午饭 It wasn't just about lunch.
在三个孩子中 我一直觉得跟艾丽克斯最不亲近 Of my three kids, I've always felt least connected with Alex.
我担心我俩之间的距离 And I'm afraid that the distance between us
在她毕业后会越拉越远 might grow after she graduates.
天啊 她快毕业了 Wow. Graduates?
不过短短十年前 It was just, like, 10 years ago
她才第一次上大学课程 when she took her first college course.
你应该先打电话说一声的 I really wish you would've called.
我今天去不了吃午饭 我快迟到了 I can't go to lunch today. I'm late for...
开普勒奖
-要参加个活动 -所以你打扮得这么漂亮吗 - an event. - ‭Is that why you're all dressed up?
对 不过没什么大不了的 Yeah. But it's no big deal.
对了 你看你们校报了吗 B-T-dubs, have you seen your school paper?
你们毕业致辞的学生代表居然是只黑猩猩 Apparently, your valedictorian is a chimp.
这种大新闻怎么没上头条 How is that not bigger news?
这是假报纸 爸爸 It's a fake paper, Dad.
这周是毕业生恶作剧周 It's senior prank week.
真希望我早点知道 Oh. I wish I'd known that
但我已经给你妈发了这条短信 before I sent your mom this text.
"猩猩开始进化了 快把香蕉藏好" "It's starting. Hide the bananas."
-闹哪样 -开普勒奖 - Seriously?! - ‭The Kepler Award?
你就是要去参加这个吗 Is this where you're going,
看起来是很重要的奖项啊 'cause it looks like it's a big deal?
只是给决赛选手办的无聊欢迎会 It's just a boring reception for finalists.
我就喜欢欢迎会 Well, I love a good reception.
几点开始 What time are we expected?
我应该不能带嘉宾入场 Oh, I don't think I'm allowed to bring guests.
这里写着"欢迎学生家属出席" Says here, "Families welcome."
但我当时没回复要带 But I didn't RSVP.
这里写着"不必预约" Says here, "Walk-ins encouraged."
这传单的信息量真足 What an informative flyer.
太棒了 我们去吧 Awesome. Let's do this.
瑜伽这玩意啊 Yoga, right?
没有赢家 也没有输家 No winners, no losers,
没有"谁最优秀" no "Who's best?"
你想要我告诉你 你是唯一一个 You want me to tell you that you are the only one
不需要老师帮助的人吗 that didn't need help from the teacher?
真的吗 Was I?
-詹妮丝 你好 -你好啊 - Janice. Hi. - Hi.
这位是克莱尔 我先生的女儿 This is Claire, my husband's daughter.
-你好 -你好 - Hi. - Hi.
那歌洛莉亚应该算是你的继母 对吧 So, that makes Gloria kind of like your stepmother.
对 但我们不搞这一套 Yeah, we don't do that.
话说 Um, anyways,
你的新男友怎么样 how is your new boyfriend?
很好 Pretty great.
不过我对于我俩的年龄差 I do feel a little awkward
是感到有些尴尬啦 about the age difference, though.
怎么个尴尬法 Ooh, which way are we talking?
他...才20岁出头 He's, uh, in his early 20s.
爽爆了 Noice!
差那么多不会尴尬吗 Isn't that embarrassing?
才不会 勇敢去爱 No. I say go for it.
我喜欢这个新克莱尔 Ooh, I like this new Claire
她不会对每件事都持反对意见 that says "Yes" to things.
换做以前 你会... Before, you would be like, uh...
形容令人不爽怎么说来着 what is the word for grouchy?
现在这已经不重要了 I don't think it matters now.
20岁出头小鲜肉啊 Early 20s, huh.
在那年纪 还没被地心引力打败 Well, you're still beating gravity at that point.
所有部位一定都在该在的地方 没变形 I bet everything is right where it should be.
-没错 -是的 - Oh, yes. - Yeah.
看看他给我发的腹肌自拍 Check out this selfie he sent of his abs.
靠 Damn!
跟注重自己外表的人在一起真好 It's so nice to be with someone who takes care of himself,
不像我这年纪的男人 不修边幅 not like the guys my age.
可不是嘛 Tell me about it.
杰开始有点不在意了 Jay's starting to give up a little bit.
从他穿的衣服就能看出来 You know, in the way that he's dressing.
不如你把男友带来我家 提醒一下杰 Why don't you bring your guy by the house to remind Jay
女人喜欢努力维持外表的男人 that women like a man that make a little effort.
-我们今天有空 方便吗 -太棒了 - Um, well, we're free later today, if that works. - Perfect.
克莱尔 你也来 你就能帮我 And, Claire, you come, too, so that you help me
把杰推往正确的方向 nudge Jay in the right direction.
我可不希望我的第一次"拒绝" Well, I wouldn't want my first "No"
-是对我继母说的 -不是说了不搞这一套吗 - to be to my stepmother. - I said we're not doing that.
小卡 快点 Cam, hurry!
我们到得够早的话 If we get there early enough,
就能提交一个关于美储联主席的问题 we get to submit a question about Greenspan.
我有个关于滞胀的好问题 I got a doozy about stag-flation.
-听我说完 -你 - Just hear me out. - You...
-我们决定好了的 -不 是你决定好了 - We decided... - No, you decided.
而且米奇尔 我们昨晚玩得那么开心 And, Mitchell, we had so much fun last night.
莉莉还有一晚才回来 Lily's gone for one more night.
咱们出去吧 走啦 找点乐子嘛 Let's go out! Come on. Have some fun.
打破我们的"连续两晚"约定吗 And break our two-night-in-a-row rule?
才不 绝不 我不要 No, no. I don't think so.
得了 你昨晚才睡了两个小时 Okay, you slept two hours last night.
你知道当你太累时会撞墙上吧 You know you hit a wall when you get overtired.
-可不是闹着玩的 -你知道我怎么想吗 - It's very intense. - You know what I think this is?
我觉得你在担心自己跟不上 I think you're worried that you can't keep up
我和我的青春活力 with me and my youthful spirit.
那天你还管冰箱叫冰盒子来着 The other day, you called a refrigerator an icebox.
那才不老 那叫乡村风情 That's not old, that's country cute.
-行吧 -面对现实吧 你生来老成 - Okay. - Let's face it. You were born 50,
而我却在内心永葆青春 and I've always been young at heart.
你知道吗 也许这就是我们初次见面时 And you know what? Maybe that's what attracted you
我吸引你的原因... 我的少年魅力 to me in the first place... my boyish charm.
而你则是个成熟沧桑的男人 来到我身边... And you were an older, seasoned man who came and...
1967年电影《毕业生》中罗宾逊太太诱引年轻小伙的经典桥段
引诱我 罗宾逊先生 seduced me, Mr. Robinson.
好 行 这真是个"新潮"的比喻 Okay, yeah, that's a youthful reference.
你该和你的新朋友炫耀一下 You should trot that out with your new friends.
小卡 你每次都是这样 Cam, this is so you, okay?
你把自己累垮了 You're running yourself ragged
就为了证明自己还年轻 trying to remain young.
我是说 接受自己变老了一点点这个事实 I mean, there's nothing wrong with accepting the fact
没什么不好的 that you're getting a little older.
除非你承认得太早 Unless you're admitting it too soon.
你不会想某天一拍脑袋想 You don't want to look up one day and think,
"我是不是忘了什么事" "Oh, what did I forget to do?
"没错 享受生活" "Oh, yeah. Live."
行了 如果你要找我的话 Well, you know what? If you need me,
我会在宾克家的暖身派对 就在... I'm gonna be pre-gaming in Binker's loft in...
一个废弃的罐头厂 an abandoned cannery
老泡菜街区那里 in the old pickle district.
感觉他家通风就很棒 Sounds drafty.
好球 Nice roll.
地滚球的战局比我害怕的还要糟糕 The bocce situation was worse than I feared.
我得把场地夺回到 I had to get the range back
日出挥杆手的手中 in the hands of the Sunrise Swingers.
听我说 这事别张扬 Listen, I, uh, got to be discreet.
我似乎深入敌后了 Uh, I'm sort of behind enemy lines here.
但是如果我没搞错的话 But, uh, if I'm not mistaken,
你也是我们的一员 you're a fellow, uh,
-挥杆手[换妻俱乐部] -你说什么 - "Swinger." - Excuse me?
没事没事 我理解 只是... No, no, it's okay. I'm cool. It's just that I, uh...
我在试着搞点事情 I'm trying to get something started here.
我是说 毫无疑问我们得秘密见面 I mean, uh, of course we have to meet in secrecy,
但我也不介意在我家举办 but I don't mind hosting at my house.
-你不会真的在... -夫人 醒醒吧 - Are you actually suggesting... - Lady, wake up.
我们的生活方式正在遭袭 Our way of life is under attack.
很快 我们人都凑不够一场 Pretty soon, there won't be enough of us
完整的四人对抗赛[性爱]了 for a decent foursome.
我得走了 I have to go.
好吧 考虑一下我说的话 Okay. Well, just think about it.
-就这样 你考虑考虑吧 -好 - That's all. Just think about it. - Okay.
-值得一试 是吧 -什么 - Worth a shot, huh? - What?
我才不是这个意思 No, that's not what I meant.
这就是你们地滚球玩家所关心的吗 Oh, that's what you bocce players are about, huh?
发现什么好的 就要毁掉它 You find something nice, and you ruin it.
那是施蒂格利茨博士 That's Dr. Stieglitz.
他有这个奖项赢家的最后决定权 He makes the final decision on the award.
他聪明又吓人 令人过目难忘 He's brilliant and scary and impossible to impress.
我知道这话听起来像老爸卖瓜 Hey, I know this is your dad talking,
但你自己也很聪明又吓人 but you're pretty brilliant and scary
令人过目难忘啊 and impossible yourself.
好吧 我已经露过面了 Okay. I've made an appearance.
-我们应该可以走了 -别这样 艾丽克斯 - I think we can go. - Come on, now, Alex.
这是为你举办的派对 This is a party in your honor,
况且你还带着你私人的啦啦队长 and you're here with your own personal cheerleader.
-爸爸 我只是... -我知道怎么激励一群学者 - Dad, I just... - I know how to pump up an academic crowd.
我还激励过一个辩论队呢 I had to cheer for the debate team once.
"要有说服力 要啊要有说服力" "Be persuasive, B-E persuasive."
-"要啊要啊..." -够了 - "B-E P-E-R-S... " - That's enough.
"妈的 干脆去问薛定谔的猫得了" "Damn. Might as well ask Schrodinger's cat."
宠物啊 Pets.
我曾经养过一只能用遥控器的金刚鹦鹉 I once had a macaw that could use a remote control.
成天看有线电视 你也许会想... Watched a lot of cable. You'd think, uh...
它会看动物星球 但它主要看的是电影频道 You'd think Animal Planet, but it was mostly Cinemax.
我是艾丽克斯的爸爸 I'm Alex's dad.
艾丽克斯 过来这里 Alex, get in here.
实际上 我刚才指的是一个思维实验 Actually, I was referring to a thought experiment
关于量子力学中的一个悖论 concerning a paradox in quantum mechanics.
是啊 妙哉妙哉 Yes, quite, quite.
你们都是哪里人啊 Where are you all from originally?
太让人尴尬了 It was so embarrassing.
施蒂格利茨教授是个天才 Professor Stieglitz is a genius.
他才不会喜欢说着"妙哉妙哉" He doesn't fall for people who pretend to understand him
来假装听得懂他的话的人 by saying things like "Quite, quite,"
或者"确实如此" 或者... or, "Indeed," or...
有道理啊 兄弟 Touche, my good man!
不过说真的 我有个科学问题 But seriously, I-I have a science question
-我总是想不清楚 -要不就再想想 - I've always wondered about. - Uh, maybe keep wondering.
多少量的氦气能安全地让婴儿 Would there be a safe amount of helium you could give a baby
从地面微微飘起呢 that would lift it off the ground?
什么 What?
我不想让他飘走 Oh. I don't want it to float away.
我只想让他玩得开心 I-I just want it to have fun.
我们能... Can we...
你能帮我个忙吗 Could you do me a favor?
我今天有包裹要送到我宿舍 I'm having a package delivered to my dorm room,
需要有人留在那里签收 and someone needs to be there to sign for it.
你室友做不了吗 Can't your roommate do it?
不行 她被驱逐出境了 No. She got deported.
她不是从阿肯色州来的吗 I thought she was from Arkansas.
是啊 但是她的父母是...卖国贼 Yeah, but her parents were... traitors.
-贝丝和艾伦 -别难过 - Beth and Allen? - Don't feel bad.
我们都被骗了 We all fell for it.
所以你想让我回你的宿舍 So you want me to go back to your dorm room
坐着等一个包裹吗 and sit and wait for a package?
没错 Yes.
糟糕 宝贝 我... Oh, sh-shoot, honey. I...
家里也有一个包裹要等我去收 所以... I have a delivery coming back to the house, too, so...
我得赶紧去了 I should run.
-如果你必需得回去的话 行 -是的 我很抱歉 - Well, if you have to. - Yeah. I'm so sorry.
不过祝你好运 好吗 But, hey, good luck, okay?
再见 爸爸 Bye, Dad.
我看起来是不是有点... Uh, did I seem a little...
过于无情 冷漠 没错 Zero Kelvin? Cold. Yeah.
所以你觉得我 So you think I was...
就像一组数的总和除以 Like the sum of a group of numbers divided by
这组数的数量 平均数[刻薄] the number of those numbers? Mean.
怪不得没人愿意跟你一起编码 蒂娜 This is why no one wants to code with you, Tina.
你是怎么找到我的 Hey. How in the world did you find me?
你知道那个可以安在孩子手机上的定位软件吧 You know that app you can put on kids' phones to track them?
我给了你个惊喜 你就在我手机上安这个 You put one on my phone after I surprised you today?
别说了 我已经很内疚了 Don't make me feel worse than I already do.
等等 你赢了 Wait a minute. You won?!
恭喜你 Congratulations!
不用这样为我高兴 我受之有愧 Please don't be happy for me. I can't take it.
我对你太过分了 I was such a jerk to you.
没有 宝贝 我理解 No, honey, I get it. I, uh...
我知道我让你尴尬了 I know I can be embarrassing. I...
在聪明人身边我就是会紧张 I just get nervous around smart people.
有的时候对你也是 Sometimes even you.
我第一次说"妙哉妙哉"的时候 The first time I ever said "Quite, quite"
是你六岁那年 就在你跟我解释了 was when you were 6 years old and you just told me
植物是怎么产生二氧化碳之后 about how plants make carbon dioxide.
你可能不相信 但是 This may surprise you, but...
有的时候我希望我能更像你 sometimes I wish I was more like you,
你总是能享受生活 the way you're always able to enjoy life.
不管你信不信 我对我爸爸也是这种感觉 Believe it or not, I felt the same way about my dad.
我其实 跟他比是个悲观主义者 I'm a... I'm a pessimist compared to him.
而他的父亲因为笑太多 And his dad actually suffered
得了疝气 from a smile-induced hernia.
这是恶作剧周 It's prank week,
我却全程待在图书馆 and I spent the whole time in the library.
有的时候我感觉自己只是经历了 Sometimes I feel like I just went through
本应该是生命中最美好的四年 the four best years of my life,
而没有让这四年 only I forgot to make them
成为我生命中最美好的回忆 the four best years of my life.
大学还没结束呢 Well, college isn't over.
我可能能帮你弥补一下 And I just may be able to help you
逝去的一些时光 make up for a little lost time.
辣翅智力赛要开始了 Hot Wing Trivia's about to start.
我给你们登记的队名叫"邓菲队" I have you guys registered as "The Dunphys"?
你怎么 How did you...?
你知道我要来 You knew I was coming?
别忘了你是从哪知道的那个定位软件 Let's not forget where you learned about that tracking app.
还有一点小变动 And there's one tiny change.
我们的队名叫无敌邓菲 We're actually the MacDunphys.
只有我爸爸会认为这种冷知识竞赛 Only my dad would think that a trivia game...
纽约三角内衣工厂火灾 The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire.
比赛的时候在头上顶帽子 ...where you balance hats on your head,
赢了要喝啤酒 drink beer as a reward...
卡里姆·阿卜杜·贾巴尔[著名篮球明星] Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
输了要吃辣翅 - - ...and eat hot wings as a punishment...
米勒德·菲尔莫尔[总统] Millard Fillmore!
...最后还要来点苏格兰口音 ...needed that one last twist of a Scottish accent.
糊涂蛋 喷嚏精 Dopey, Sneezy...
生气鬼[白雪公主小矮人] and Grumpy?
有人说生活中最重要的事 Whoever said the most important thing in life
就是拿奖 is winning awards...
他说的也不无道理 ...wasn't all wrong.
我还记得格林斯潘先生 I still remember the day Mr. Greenspan
提出"非理性繁荣"这个词的那天 coined the term "Irrational exuberance."
他洗了个比平常的都久的澡 He had taken a longer than usual tub
当他坐在泡泡浴中的时候 and, as he sat in the soapy water...
我犯了个错 I had made a mistake.
小卡踏上了一段冒险 Cam was off on an adventure
而我坐在那儿无聊得要死 while I sat there dying of boredom,
周围全是快要老死的人 surrounded by people dying of natural causes.
我要继续跳 好吗 I'm gonna keep the bounce going, okay?
继续跳 Keep the bounce going.
你知道吗 动起脖子来 Yeah, you know, it's a little more
-更有感觉 -我的天 - sass in the neck, because... - Oh, my gosh!
米奇尔 你来这里干什么 Mitchell, what are you doing here?
-讲座怎么办 -讲座真是要命了 - What about the lecture? - Well, uh, it was deadly.
我还没到该老的时候心就老了 Yeah, I'm getting old before my time.
带我一起玩吧 让我重拾年轻活力吧 Please take me with you! Make me young again!
我的天 我们真高兴你来了 Oh, my gosh, we're so happy you're here.
-真的吗 -当然 - Really? - Yeah, of course.
不说"早跟你说了吧" No "I told you so"?
不说了 我们年轻人不这样 No. That's not how my generation does it.
看看你 还这么有劲头 Well, check you out, still going strong.
你知道吗 我觉得我吸收年轻劲儿更精神了 Yeah, you know what? I think I'm just feeding off the energy,
我很久没有感觉这么清醒了呢 because I haven't felt this awake in...
等一下 Hold on just a second.
蓝衣服的 说你呢 蓝衣服的 Yo, blue guy! Hey, blue shirt!
怎么样 兄弟 What's up, bro? Hey!
你看我干嘛 你想干嘛 You looking at me? What do you want to do?
你想跳舞吗 为什么他一直盯着我 You want to dance? Why is he staring at me?
其实 其实我没觉得他在看你 You know, you know, I don't think he was looking at you.
感觉他是在看我 什么 It seems like he's looking at me. What's...
你是不是有点累了 Are you getting a little tired?
得了吧 我要累了还能这样 Oh, please. Can a tired guy do this?
我爱这些人 Da! Hey, I love these guys! Whoa.
你认识达里尔吗 他妈妈是1990年 Oh, did you know Daryl... Daryl's mom was the runner-up
伊利诺伊小姐选美赛的亚军 in the Miss Illinois pageant in 1990?!
♪ 那一年我毕业 ♪ ♪ The year I graduated ♪
♪ 达里尔的妈妈很美艳 ♪ ♪ Daryl's mom was hot ♪
你真棒 Fantastic.
小卡 我觉得你要撞墙上了 Cam, I think you might be hitting that wall.
没有没有 我没事 我要 No, no, no, I'm fine. I would...
这个小丑盯着我干什么 What's this clown staring at? Hey!
不不不 不要拿手指我 No, no, no, no, no, don't point at me.
不然我把你的手指 I'll rip your finger off
扯下来喂给你的红发女友 and feed it to your red-headed girlfriend!
好了 那是个镜子 Okay, that is a mirror.
而且我知道这件毛衣显得我胸很大了 And I knew this sweater made me look busty.
为什么我的手在抖 Okay, w-w-why is my hand shaking?
有人往我饮料里下药了吗 Did somebody put something in my drink?
你们这堆兴奋剂上瘾 爱骑小摩托的 Hey! Did one of you Ritalin-addicted millennial
千禧一代是不是有人给我下药了 scooter jockeys dose me? Huh?
怎么 你们以为能把我这棵大树放倒吗 What, you think you can take this tree down, do you?
怎么着 我可是棵参天红木 Well, guess what! I'm a redwood!
没错 你们还没生出来我就在这了 That's right, I was here before you were born,
你们没了我也还在这 and I'll be here after you're gone!
他有时候就这样 他只是需要睡一下 He gets like this. He just needs a nap.
-该睡觉了 -好的 - Nap time. - Okay.
-睡觉 走吧 -不 可是我还不想走 - Nap. Let's go. - No, I don't want to go, though!
-我喜欢我的新朋友 -我知道 - I like my new friends! - Yeah, I know.
你们喜欢我吗 我可喜欢你们了 Do you guys like me? 'Cause I like you!
我想留下 Yeah. I want to stay!
我对一切都好抱歉 And I'm really sorry about everything.
-你得放开他 -我好抱歉 - You got to let him go. - No, I'm sorry.
你得放开他 没事的 You got to let him go. It's okay.
-谢谢你 -我好抱歉 - Thank you. - I'm so sorry.
-再见 -我不知道你没盯着我看 - Bye-bye. - I didn't know you weren't staring at me.
-没事的 -不 我不想走 - Shh. It's okay. - No, I don't want to go.
伊丽莎白时代社团的独白非常成功 I nailed my monologues for the Elizabethan Society.
吾认为我能成为新一任莉齐 Methinks you're looking at a brand-new Lizzie.
这么说"窝认为"没错 So it is "Methinks."
那我说的时候杰怎么总纠正我 So, why does Jay correct me every time I say that?
杰 来客人了 别躲在卧室里 Jay, we have company! Do not hide in the bedroom.
你好 Hello.
多谢你特意过来 Thank you for coming.
-你男朋友在哪 -他在停车 - Where's the boyfriend? - He's just parking.
跟你说 我们在来的路上发现一件事 And, you know, we realized something on the way over,
有点尴尬 and it's a little awkward.
是开胃菜 我马上回来 Those are my hors d'oeuvres. I'll be back.
-给自己弄杯喝的 -好 - Make yourself a drink. - Okay.
性感辣妹 Hey, hot stuff.
你确定这一点也不诡异吗 Are you sure this isn't a little weird?
我没想到我们要帮助的情侣 Well, I wasn't expecting the couple we'd be helping out
会是我外公和他妻子 但是 to be my grandpa and his wife, but...
我们的恋情 our relationship was gonna be
-迟早要公开的 -是啊 - out in the open eventually. - Yeah.
我基本已经和所有认识的人炫耀过了 I kind of bragged about it to everyone I know.
你可真甜 Oh, you're so sweet.
是我女儿 My daughter.
她想叫朋友来玩 我说过不准办派对 She wants to have friends over. I said no parties.
你放松 Hey, you relax.
丹尼丝 是时候轮到你妈妈与我出来放松一晚了 Denise, your mother and I deserve one night off.
俱乐部的女士 The lady from the club!
要么她不知道我是歌洛莉亚的丈夫 Either she didn't know I was Gloria's husband
事态马上会变得非常尴尬 and things were about to get very awkward,
要么她知道 她是因为我无意的提议 or she did know and she was here to follow up
来玩"四人行"了 on my accidental proposition.
老天 我真讨厌家里来人 God, I hate company!
性感辣妹 Hey, hot stuff.
你的小狼狗呢 Where's your boy toy?
他在打电话 不过我得说一声 Oh, he's making a phone call. Got to say, though,
我觉得有点尴尬 因为原来 I feel kind of awkward because, turns out,
-他跟歌洛莉亚有亲戚关系 -什么 - he's related to Gloria. - What?
是我女儿 我得处理一下 抱歉 My daughter. I have to handle this. Sorry.
克莱尔 我有个大消息 Claire, I have big news.
老天 假如是我想的那个 Oh, God. If it's what I think it is,
我不知道你该不该这样做 I don't know if that's a good idea.
我知道 人们会说 I know. People will say
我过于迷恋老旧的人和事了 I've taken my love of old things too far.
但我很开心 But I'm happy.
不是我炫耀 但我是第一个进去的拉丁裔 And not to brag, but I'm the first Latino to get in there.
老天 我觉得我有点责任 Oh, boy. I feel sort of responsible for this.
我认为这更归功于我的表现 Um, I think it has a little more to do with my performance.
我表现十分杰出 I distinguished myself
所有的女性重点部分都被我征服了 when I did literally all the girl parts.
我得去往脸上泼点水 I need to go splash some water on my face.
等一下 你最近有在做仰卧起坐吗 Wait a minute. Have you been doing sit-ups?
每晚都做 为了持久力 Oh, every night for stamina.
不然我不会表现得那么好 I would not have been able to perform without it.
我甚至还加入了一些舌头练习 I even threw in some tongue exercises
因为我的悍妇[《驯悍记》]要好久才到高潮 because my "Shrew" was taking forever.
老天 Oh, God.
爸 你又在躲什么 Dad, what are you hiding from?
等我告诉你我在俱乐部 You'll know after I tell you
和那女人说了什么 你就知道了 what I said to that woman from the club.
她怎么来了 What is she doing here?
-她是来让你脱下这身衣服的 -你知道了啊 - She's trying to get you out of those clothes. - You know?
是的 我们在瑜伽课上谈过了 Yes! We talked about it at yoga.
那是歌洛莉亚的主意 It was Gloria's idea.
我只是来当润滑油作用的 I just came along to grease the wheels.
什么 你说这句前我本来差点要同意了 What?! I was almost considering it until you added that part.
我得去往脸上泼点水 I gotta splash water on my face.
这地方真冷清 想走吗 This place is dead. Want to bounce?
不 我们不必和一大群人一起 No, we don't have to be around
才能玩得尽兴啊 a big group of people to have fun.
卢克 不 Luke, no!
她有男朋友了 She has a boyfriend.
是啊 就是我 Yeah, me.
不 是俱乐部的某个小伙子 No, it's some young guy from the club...
老天 Oh, boy.
歌洛莉亚 你知道曼尼的事吗 Gloria, do you know what's going on with Manny?
你认为他能藏住那个秘密吗 Uh, do you think that he can keep that a secret?
他们不得不穿各种奇怪的衣服 They have to wear all kind of weird outfits
每次做起来都得穿 every time they do it.
妈 Hey, Ma.
卢克 卢克 别碰曼尼的女朋友 Luke... Luke, get your hands off Manny's girlfriend.
-那不是我女朋友 -什么 - That's not my girlfriend. - What?
那我们刚才讨论的是什么 Then what were we just talking about?
伊丽莎白时代社团 今晚第一次聚会 The Elizabethan Society. M-My first meeting's tonight.
-我好糊涂 -再明白不过了 - I'm so confused. - It's plain as day.
这女人是过来和我玩换妻的 This woman is here to swing with me.
到此为止 这是我的底线 That's it. That's where I draw the line.
怎么会发生这种事 How did this happen?
我告诉你怎么会发生这种事 I'll tell you how this happened.
因为没有人愿意当坏人 Because nobody was willing to say
说出逆耳的忠言 what needs to be said.
不行 不行 不行 No. No. No.
绝对不行 And hell no.
那是你对得了B-的感觉 丹尼丝 It's how you feel about the B-minus, Denise,
而不是你妈和我的感觉 not how your mother and I feel about it.
不 我没不同意你去阿姆斯特丹 No, I'm not saying no to the Amsterdam trip.
是的 听起来会是很好玩的暑假 Yeah, it sounds like a fun summer,
但这写在大学申请上好看吗 but how is that gonna look on a college application?
我们稍后再谈 We'll talk about it later.
我当然为你骄傲了 Of course I'm proud of you.
妈 Hey, Mom.
卢克 宝贝 你介意帮我拿一下 Hey, Luke. Honey, would you mind getting me
架子顶层的沙拉碗吗 that salad bowl off the top shelf?
好的 Yep.
我知道只有我喜欢 I know I'm the only one,
但这是我的最爱 but it is my favorite.
不必道歉 老妈 你知道自己喜欢什么 Don't apologize, Mom. You know what you like.
算了 我不吃了 Never mind. I'm good.