m 211 -8 b 217 -6 217 -4 217 -2 l 217 24 b 217 26 217 29 211 31 l 31 31 b 26 29 26 26 26 24 l 26 -2 b 26 -4 26 -6 31 -8
m 50 0 l 179 0 b 208 0 229 21 229 50 l 229 179 b 229 208 208 228 179 228 l 50 228 b 21 228 0 208 0 179 l 0 50 b 0 21 21 0 50 0
m 0 0 b 1 -1 2 -2 4 -1 b 7 1 3 2 5 5 b 6 7 8 7 9 5 l 15 -6 b 18 -7 20 -6 20 -3 b 19 -1 17 2 17 4 b 16 7 20 7 21 6 b 22 4 23 2 25 -1 b 27 -2 29 -1 29 1 b 29 2 28 3 29 5 b 30 7 32 7 33 6 b 34 5 34 4 35 3 b 37 2 39 3 39 5 b 39 6 38 8 37 9 b 34 13 29 13 25 9 b 22 13 17 13 13 9 b 10 13 3 13 0 8
m 325 0 l 355 0 l 332 47 l 354 47 l 399 136 l 369 136 l 328 53 l 288 136 l 257 136 l 325 0 m 467 0 l 497 0 l 474 47 l 496 47 l 541 136 l 511 136 l 470 53 l 430 136 l 399 136 l 467 0 m 545 1 l 583 1 l 583 14 l 568 14 l 568 19 l 583 19 l 583 30 l 568 30 l 568 34 l 599 34 l 599 30 l 583 30 l 583 19 l 599 19 l 599 14 l 583 14 l 583 1 l 611 1 b 616 1 622 6 622 10 l 622 36 l 652 0 l 678 0 l 644 41 l 622 41 l 622 47 l 596 47 l 597 54 l 625 54 l 625 68 l 541 68 l 541 54 l 572 54 l 571 47 l 545 47 l 545 1 m 583 72 l 583 85 l 569 85 l 569 90 l 598 90 l 598 85 l 583 85 l 583 72 l 611 72 b 615 72 621 78 621 82 l 653 44 l 678 44 l 644 86 l 621 86 l 621 103 l 597 103 l 597 136 l 570 136 l 564 126 l 562 136 l 542 136 l 548 107 l 568 107 l 565 121 l 571 121 l 571 103 l 547 103 l 547 72 l 583 72 m 600 107 l 620 107 l 624 124 l 653 89 l 679 89 l 642 136 l 615 136 l 618 132 l 606 132 l 600 107 m 689 0 l 716 0 l 721 15 l 732 15 l 732 30 l 718 56 l 731 56 l 735 100 l 721 100 l 717 59 l 714 64 l 714 136 l 693 136 l 693 79 l 676 79 l 707 30 l 679 30 l 679 15 l 694 15 l 689 0 m 738 0 l 804 0 b 807 0 813 6 813 9 l 813 87 l 794 87 l 794 14 l 756 14 l 756 87 l 763 77 l 763 21 l 787 21 l 787 91 l 798 91 l 798 120 l 820 120 l 812 136 l 778 136 l 778 90 l 748 136 l 723 136 l 756 87 l 738 87 l 738 0 m 257 151 l 275 151 l 297 182 l 319 151 l 337 151 l 304 197 l 304 227 l 290 227 l 290 197 l 257 151 m 337 151 l 355 151 l 377 182 l 399 151 l 417 151 l 384 197 l 384 227 l 370 227 l 370 197 l 337 151 m 425 192 l 447 192 b 445 181 427 181 425 192 l 410 192 b 414 162 458 162 462 192 l 462 206 l 425 206 b 425 210 429 212 433 213 l 462 213 l 462 227 l 433 227 b 412 227 408 203 410 192 m 462 151 l 532 151 l 532 165 l 504 165 l 504 227 l 489 227 l 489 165 l 462 165 l 462 151 m 580 172 l 580 186 l 549 186 b 543 186 543 192 549 192 l 565 192 b 589 192 589 227 565 227 l 532 227 l 532 213 l 565 213 b 570 213 570 206 565 206 l 549 206 b 524 206 524 172 549 172 l 580 172 m 592 213 l 606 213 l 606 227 l 592 227 l 592 213 m 639 172 l 665 172 l 665 186 l 639 186 b 623 186 623 213 639 213 l 665 213 l 665 227 l 639 227 b 603 227 603 172 639 172 m 700 184 b 722 184 722 215 700 215 l 700 229 b 740 229 740 170 700 170 b 660 170 660 229 700 229 l 700 215 b 680 215 680 184 700 184 m 737 172 l 782 172 b 803 172 813 177 813 198 l 813 228 l 799 228 l 799 198 b 799 186 793 187 782 187 l 782 228 l 768 228 l 768 187 l 752 187 l 752 228 l 737 228 l 737 172
原创翻译 双语字幕
最新连载海外影视剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com 仅供交流学习 禁止商用盈利
m 200 -1 l 200 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
m 38 -1 l 44 6 l 38 13 l 19 13 b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
翻译 incanto 洗七里
翻译 Flora哎呀呀 赛太公的抉择
校对 新浪微博@赛太公
时间轴 三水
后期 上班看小说被COO抓获的苦逼瓜
总监 生无可恋瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第十季 第二十集
我的宝宝怎么会早到 Mnh! How can my babies be early?!
我什么事都没早过 I've never been early to anything!
也许他们不是我的娃 Maybe they're not mine!
我可对你一直都很忠贞 I've always been faithful to you!
使劲啊 靠 Push, damn it!
我不要今天再失去一个孩子了 I'm not losing another baby today.
心脏骤停 Cardiac arrest.
急救车 Crash cart!
电击可能会要了孩子的命 The shock could kill the baby!
这是没有办法的办法了 That's something I'll just have to live with.
也许我们该把电视关掉 Maybe we could turn off the TV?
离手 Clear! ‭
伙计们 我恐怕得告诉你们一些坏消息 Well, folks, I'm afraid I have some bad news.
天哪 不要 Oh, my God, no.
不 不是 没有那么糟糕 N-No, not that bad.
我很抱歉 刚才我没过脑子 I'm sorry. I did not think that through.
你今天不会生产 No, you're not giving birth today.
刚才你经历的被称作假宫缩 You've had false contractions, known as Braxton Hicks.
很常见的 It's very common.
那意味着我会什么时候生呢 Uh, so what does that mean timing-wise?
不一定 It's no indication.
可能是现在起五周后 It could be five weeks from now,
也可能是现在起五小时后 could be five hours from now.
我建议你和你老公回家 I suggest you and your husband go home,
趁你还可以的时候多睡会儿 get some sleep while you still can.
我们还没结婚 只是情侣 Oh, we're not married. We're just lovers.
呕 Ugh! Yuck.
她讨厌那个词 She hates that word.
我也觉得恶心 Grosses me out, too,
我可是看过无数产后护理惨况的人呢 and I spend a lot of my time covered in afterbirth.
一切都还好吧 Everything okay?
感觉很怪 Um... that was weird.
你是说那对抱着全尺寸婴儿的侏儒吗 Those little people with the full-size baby?
不是 是医生说你是我老公这件事 No, when the doctor called you my husband.
人们都会下意识觉得吧 Well, people are gonna assume --
不是... 感觉很奇怪是因为我... No, it -- it was weird because I...
喜欢这个称呼 liked it.
你不是吧 我求婚过大概六次了 Seriously? Because I proposed, like, six times.
我知道 我只是... I know. I just --
它在当时看起来太过时了 It seemed so old-fashioned at the time,
但是当我想到孩子们要出生的时候 but when I thought that the babies were coming,
我... I-I...
你是要说出我认为你将要说的话了吗 Are you saying what I think you're saying?
我需要一点帮助 I'm gonna need a little help here.
好了 Okay.
行了 我好了 Okay, we're good.
迪兰·星尘·马歇尔 你愿意... Dylan Stardust Marshall, will you --
要倒了要倒了 好吧 Oh! Going over. Okay. Okay.
我很好 我很好 没事 I'm fine. I'm fine. It's okay.
你愿意娶我吗 Will you marry me?
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
这跟我想象中的场景一模一样 This is exactly how I imagined it.
我进不去 I can't get in!
该死 小卡 我们一定要抢到票 Damn it, Cam! We need those tickets!
-加油 刷新 -我在刷新了 - Come on, refresh. - ‭I am!
-使出吃奶的劲儿刷新 -我在了 - Refresh like your life depends on it! - ‭I am!
今晚是《苏菲的抉择:音乐剧》的 Tonight is the L.A. Premiere
洛杉矶首映式 of "Sophie's Choice: The Musical."
票在顷刻之间就卖光了 And it sold out in seconds,
但是剧院保留了一些很棒的座位 but the theater reserved a few amazing house seats
可以网上抽签获取 for an online lottery.
有谣言称 And there's a rumor
梅丽尔·斯特里普也会去观演 Meryl Streep is going to be in the audience.
-不敢相信 -真得为那个 - Oh, my God. - You have to
扮演苏菲的女演员默哀 feel for that poor actress playing Sophie.
梅丽尔·斯特里普是电影版的苏菲 她以此片得到了奥斯卡金像奖最佳女主角
就像我在鲍勃·麦基面前缝制戏服一样 It'd be like me sewing costumes in front of Bob Mackie.
知名大牌服装设计师
现在为您颁发世上最基发言奖 得奖人是... And the award for the gayest thing ever said goes to...
-我进去了 -真的吗 - I'm in! - ‭You are?!
-我们有座位啦 -苍天啊 - We have seats! - ‭Oh, my God!
-集中注意力 -好了 - Focus, focus. - ‭Okay, all right.
好了 这边是付款倒计时 Okay, it's one of those ticking clock things.
那很好 我只需找到我的信用卡 That's fine. We just need my...credit card.
我的钱包呢 我的钱包 钱包 Where's my wallet? Where -- Where's my wall--
-我的钱包去哪儿了 -不是吧 又这样 - Where's my wallet?! - Seriously? Again?
小卡 你得把它放在一个固定的地方 Cam, you have to leave it in one place!
我跟你说过一千遍了 I told you a thousand times!
非得现在说教吗 Really? Now?
行了 就用你的信用卡吧 Okay, just use your credit card.
怪了 That's weird.
好了 我要吐了 我要吐了 Okay. I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick!
-来 用我的吧 -谢谢 甜心 - Here -- use mine. - Oh! Thank you, sweetie.
好了 好了 行了 Okay. ‭Okay. All right.
这是什么标志[征兆]吗 Is this a sign?
是啊 预示着我们要去看演出了 Yes! We are meant to see the show!
不是 是检测买票机器人的验证图 No, it's one of those CAPTCHA things.
这是个路标吗 Is that a road sign?!
-是的 -我不知道 - Yes! - ‭I don't know.
是的 Yes.
我的老天啊 Oh, my God!
谢谢 甜心宝贝 你救了我们 Oh, thank you, sweetie. You saved us.
没事 我需要刷卡换里程 It's fine. I needed the miles.
谢谢你 Thank you.
她要去哪里 Where's she off to?
-我肯定没事的 -好吧 - I'm sure it's fine. - ‭Okay.
这件怎么样 How about this one?
你看起来太美了 You look gorgeous.
现在 记住... Now, remember --
好了 这又不是我第一次 Okay, this is not my first time
要去哄你的商业伙伴了 impressing your business associates.
我知道怎么做 I know the drill.
笑他们的笑话 抚摸他们的手臂 Laugh at their jokes, touch their arms...
然后如果他在地板上撒尿 Yeah, and if he pees on the floor,
别太当回事儿 don't make a big deal out of it.
怎么回事 What is happening?
我退出了衣柜事业 I quit the closet game
成为了高端逗趣狗床的尖端人物 to become the king of high-end, whimsical dog beds.
今天 为了推广它们 我要接待 And to market them today, I'm hosting
社交媒体网红 亚瑟乖仔 social-media influencer Arthur Goodboy.
这只小帅狗 This little stud
在网上有超过五百万的粉丝 has over 5 million followers on the Instagram.
一张他与产品的照片就能改天换地 One photo of him with a product can be a game-changer.
你让我为一只狗换了三次衣服 You made me change three times for a dog?
他甚至看不到这个颜色 He cannot even see this color!
他们可以感觉到你的努力 They can sense the effort!
欢迎 欢迎 我是杰·普里契特 Welcome! Welcome. I'm Jay Pritchett.
-你好 -这是我老婆歌洛莉亚 - Hello. - ‭This is my wife, Gloria.
你们好 Hello.
奥森·丰特 Orson Funt.
我想大家都认识亚瑟乖仔啦 I'm sure everyone knows Arthur Goodboy.
谁不会呢 我得承认 我有一种遇见巨星的感觉 Who doesn't? And I must admit, I'm a little starstruck.
不必 Don't be.
他跟普通狗一样 穿毛衣也是一次一条腿啦 He puts on his sweaters one leg at a time.
这是"斯黛拉的狗床"的斯黛拉 And this is Stella of Dog Beds by Stella,
不过大部分设计是我做的 but I do most of the design.
对于非职业选美选手来说 她很漂亮 Well. She is beautiful for a non-pro.
-我能抱抱吗 -给你 好了 - May I? - Here you go. ‭Yes.
-我能吗 -当然 - May I? - ‭Oh, yeah.
谢谢 太棒了 Thank you. Oh, yes.
立正 立正 Present! Present.
谁是可爱的女士呀 Who's a lovely lady?
谁是优雅的男孩儿呀 谁是网红呀 Who's an elegant boy? Who's an influencer?
你是 你是 Ooh, you are! You are!
谁是网红啊 是你 Who's an influencer? You are!
想去看看狗床吗 You want to see the dog beds?
-想 -跟我来 - Yes. - ‭Follow me.
他是个好爸爸 He's a good father.
先生... Sir...
狗放在菠萝里 a dog in a pineapple?
爱了 Love!
我叫它"犬凤呈祥" I call that one "Puppy Colada."
得了 Stop!
是啊 得了 Yes, stop.
那你怎么看 咱们能做这笔生意吗 So, what do you say? Are we in business?
等一下 别着急 Oh, down boy.
在帮你做推荐之前 I like to make sure that Arthur Goodboy
我得确保亚瑟乖仔真的喜欢这件产品 really loves the product before we do any endorsements.
如果我们什么都答应 If we said yes to everything,
那跟网红暴躁猫那啥都代言的婊子有何分别 then we're no better than that whore Grumpy Cat.
来 试试这个 Here, try this one.
好了 亚瑟乖仔先生 Okay, Mr. Arthur Goodboy.
你何不自己去里面 Why don't you just trot yourself right in there
打个盹儿呢 and take a load off?
他才刚睡过一阵子 所以... You know, he just woke up from a nap, so...
他可能过几小时才会想休息 he will probably tucker out in a couple of hours.
但没关系 反正我也没有别的事 It's cool, 'cause I have nowhere I need to be.
真"意外"啊 You don't say.
里面真宽敞 Oh, it's spacious.
海莉 Haley?
我在这 Over here!
妈没跟你一起出来吧 Mom's not with you, right?
没有 No.
出什么事了 What's going on?
你已经怀孕了 What could you have possibly done
还能有什么更严重的 that's worse than getting pregnant?
迪兰和我要私奔结婚 Well, Dylan and I are eloping,
我们想让你去作见证 and we want you to be the witness.
我的天 我愿意 Oh, my God! Yes!
我都无法形容这让我觉得自己多特别了 Oh, I can't even tell you how special this makes me feel.
我不会告诉任何人 我 I will not tell anyone. I --
等等 为什么私奔 为什么不办婚礼 Wait. Why eloping? Why not a wedding?
我们只想简单快速地结婚 We just want it to be simple and quick.
不想有各种大戏 And no drama.
-那老妈是肯定不能带上了 -是啊 - Guess that eliminates Mom. - Yeah.
什么不能带上老妈 What eliminates Mom?
是这样的 是这样的 说来有趣 You know, uh -- You know, it-it's so funny when --
当人们 做出这种有趣的事 when people do such, um, funny --
其实三言两语就能说清 You know, the story is so short,
-但又说来话长 -够了 够了 - but it-it-it would be so long... - Enough, enough.
我看不下去了 I cannot watch this.
我觉得她要铺垫出个故事了呢 I felt like she was building to something.
迪兰和我要去法院结婚 Dylan and I are going to the courthouse to get married.
我们不是不想带你 It's nothing personal, you know?
只不过 我们现在最不想要的 It's just...right now, the last thing we want
就是最后搞成了大型婚礼 is it to turn into a big production.
亲爱的 假如这是你想要的 Well, honey, if that's what you want,
作为你母亲 虽然这显然让我十分痛苦 as your mother, obviously, it's incredibly painful,
但你完全不必担心 but that-that's none of your concern.
我只希望你的婚礼 I just hope you have a wedding that's every bit
能和我一直以来想象得一样美好感人 as wonderful and beautiful as I always imagined.
尽管我不能像想象中那样出席 You know -- when I was gonna be part of it.
我就知道她不会介意 I knew she'd be cool.
-是啊 -我们走 - Yeah! - ‭Let's roll.
老妈看起来挺受打击的 Mom seemed pretty bummed about it,
可这是我们想要的 but, you know, this is what we want.
没错 Totally!
妈蛋 Damn it! ‭
你怎能这样对你母亲 How could you do this to your mother?
他们怎么这么慢 What's taking them so long?
就是说啊 婚礼的主角又不是他们 I know. It's, like, this wedding isn't about them.
是你和迪兰 还有我 It's about you and Dylan and me!
来了 Coming!
真抱歉 So sorry.
别担心 海莉 And don't worry, Haley.
我保证你几乎不会注意到我们在场 I promise you will hardly know we are there at all.
搞什么 你们穿得比我还正式 What? You're dressed nicer than me.
我原本不想说什么 但你确定 Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but are you sure
你在这个特别的日子就穿这身衣服吗 that's the outfit you want for your special day?
这是海莉的婚礼 她想穿得多难看都随她 It's Haley's wedding. She can dress as bad as she wants.
没错 Right.
谁死了 Who died?
海莉和迪兰要结婚了 Haley and Dylan are getting married.
穿成这样结婚吗 Dressed like that?
现在我还得带上卢克 Now I have to invite Luke?
你不想带就不带 Not if you don't want to.
你真会说话 This feels great.
好吧 就带上卢克 不能再加人了 Okay, that is it. Luke, but no one else.
我妈发现你父母会出席 Hey, so, my mom found out your parents are coming,
因为我告诉她了 现在她也正赶来 'cause I told her, and now she's on her way.
我外公也来 And Grandpa's coming.
你们会很喜欢他的 You guys are gonna love him.
但假如他叫你们杀了他 别下手 Oh, but if he asks you to kill him, don't.
我知道你在想什么 I know what you're thinking.
人太多了 That is a lot of people
法院那没有人情味的小房间挤不下 for a small, impersonal room at the courthouse,
我们也是这么想的 and we are on the same page.
所以 为什么不在这结婚 So...why don't we just do it here?
我有证婚人资格 我可以主持婚礼 I'm ordained. I can perform the ceremony.
这个主意太好了 That is such a great idea!
那样的话 又简单又私人化 That way, it's easy and intimate.
这正是你想要的 不是吗 I mean, that's what you wanted, right?
你们先去法院 So, go down to the courthouse,
领结婚证 然后回来 get your marriage license, come back here,
我们都在这等着 and we'll all be waiting.
好吧 我们立刻就得去 Fine. But let's go now.
我饿死了 法院的小卖部 I'm starving, and they make a great soft pretzel
有特别好吃的软椒盐饼 at the courthouse snack shop.
你是怎么知道的 How do you know that?
我还是可以私奔的 I can still elope.
别坏了我的好事 Don't you ruin this for me.
无所谓 无所谓 It's fine. It's fine.
等等 Wait.
假如迪兰的外公要来 If Dylan's bringing his grandfather,
我们也必须邀请我爸和歌洛莉亚 不是吗 that means we have to invite Dad and Gloria, right?
我想是的 I think so, yeah.
但他八成不会来 杰讨厌临时邀约 But he probably won't show. Jay hates last-minute plans.
他会说"老天 他们怎么不私奔" He'll be like, "Oh, geez, why don't they just elope?"
外公你来啦 Grandpa?
谁是乖乖仔 Who's a goody-woody boy?
谁是犯困的乖仔 Who's a sleepy boy?
没想到我会说这种话 I never thought I'd say this,
但我想念杰伤人的大男子主义 but I miss Jay's toxic masculinity.
至少他不是你亲爹 At least he's not your real father.
-我来接 我接 -我来接 - I'll get it! I got it! - I'll get it!
-你好 -歌洛莉亚 - Hello? - Hey, Gloria.
海莉和迪兰决定今天下午结婚 Haley and Dylan decided to get married this afternoon,
我知道老爸要谈狗床生意 and I know Dad's got that dog-bed thing,
所以不必有压力 so absolutely no pressure.
好的 我们会尽快赶过去 Yes. We will be there as soon as we can.
杰 很遗憾不得不打断 Jay, I am so sorry to break up
这个非常有趣非常正常的聚会 this really fun and super normal party,
但迪兰和海莉决定现在结婚 but Dylan and Haley decided to get married right now,
克莱尔想让我们过去 and Claire wants us there.
老天 他们怎么不私奔 Oh, geez, why don't they just elope?
其实亚瑟乖仔很喜欢婚礼 Actually, Arthur Goodboy loves weddings,
它的粉丝们一直很想看它穿新西装 and his followers have been dying to see him in his new tux.
我可以带个狗床 以防它想休息 I-I can bring a bed in case he gets tired.
快看 有人心动了 Ooh, look. Somebody's got a crush.
斯黛拉小姐可否赏光 Would Miss Stella do us the honor
陪亚瑟乖仔一同出席婚礼 of escorting Arthur Goodboy to the wedding?!
老天 当然 一万个愿意 Gosh, yes! A thousand times yes!
说出来你肯定不信 Well. You're not gonna believe this.
他们会来 They're coming.
假如他们会来 那我们是不是 Well, if they're coming, does that mean
也得邀请米奇和小卡 we need to invite Mitch and Cam?
想象一下不请的话他们得有多少狗血戏 Imagine the drama if we didn't.
♪ 我该选择谁 ♪ ♪ Who should I choose? ♪
♪ 选一个都得失去另一个 ♪ ♪ Either way, I lose ♪
♪ 我盯着枪扣 ♪ ♪ I stare at the gun ♪
♪ 是选我女儿 还是选儿子 ♪ ♪ Is it daughter, is it son? ♪
♪ 抉择 ♪ ♪ Choices ♪
-♪ 困难的抉择 ♪ -♪ 抉择 ♪ - ♪ Impossible choices ♪ - ‭♪ Choices ♪
-♪ 困难的抉择 ♪ -♪ 困难 ♪ - ♪ Impossible choices ♪ - ♪ Impossible ♪
♪ 抉择 ♪ ♪ Choices ♪
这就是为什么我不能邀请朋友来做客 This is why I can't have friends over.
好吧 Okay.
某人因为损人 Somebody just snarked her way
没有《苏菲的抉择》卫衣穿了 out of a "Sophie's Choice" Hoodie!
没错 That's right.
克莱尔 什么事 Hey, Claire. What's up?
海莉和迪兰决定结婚了 So, Haley and Dylan decided to get married,
你们要是不来他们会伤心死的 and they'd be devastated if you weren't there.
当然 我们无论如何也不会错过 Oh, of course! We wouldn't miss it for the world!
告诉我们什么时候 Just tell us when.
大约一小时后 In about an hour.
我的天 我 Oh, my -- Hey, uh, let --
我稍后给你回电话 好吗 let me call you right back, okay?
开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?!
就是说 该怎么办 音乐剧还是婚礼 I know! What do we do -- a musical or the wedding?
世上没人被迫面临过更残酷的选择 It's the cruelest decision anyone's ever been forced to make.
-有人吗 我们来了 -敲敲门 - Hello? We are here! - Knock, knock!
这都是些什么 What is all this?
克莱尔 Hey, Claire.
这位是奥森 This is Orson
而这当然就是亚瑟乖仔 and, of course, Arthur Goodboy.
多谢你邀请我们 我们爱爱情 Thanks for having us. We love love.
爸 能过来私下聊两句吗 Dad, can you come over here a second?
斯黛拉 你好啊 Hey, Stella.
听着 我觉得海莉不会想 So, listen, I don't think Haley
回到有一屋子的陌生人和狗的家 wants to come back to a house full of strangers and dogs.
克莱尔 我得抓住这个机会 Claire, I've got to have this,
而且她都不会感觉到他们在这的 and she's never gonna know they're even here.
好吧 这话说的时机不太好 Okay, that's bad timing.
动起来 动起来 大家都动起来 Okay, okay, let's -- let's go, let's go, let's go.
动起来 来忙活起来 Let's go. Let's get it going.
你们着什么急 我以为你们... What's your hurry? I thought you...
两个喜欢婚礼呢 guys love weddings.
你准备说"你们这种人"是不是 You were gonna say "You people," Weren't you?
有证据吗 Prove it.
我们拿着音乐剧的票 We have theater tickets,
如果现在婚礼开始的话 and if we get this wedding started,
我们还能赶上《苏菲的抉择》的开场 we can still make curtain for "Sophie's Choice."
为了看那个音乐剧 I would murder my entire family
我愿意干掉自己全家亲友 and all of their friends to see that musical.
这人懂行 This guy gets it.
看看这是谁呀 Look who's here!
别担心 我穿裤子了 Don't worry. I'm wearing pants.
至少你们看起来是的 As far as you know.
你好啊 弗兰克 Oh, well, hello, Frank.
谢谢你 差不多算出席了 And thank you for...sort of making it.
-真要这样吗 -你邀请了你爸爸 - Really? - Well, you invited your dad.
-我还能不邀请我爸爸吗 -我不知道了 - What was I supposed to do? ‭- I don't know.
你好啊 这是亚瑟乖仔吗 Hey! Is that Arthur Goodboy?
我是超级粉丝 Big fan!
早就期待看它穿西装的样子了 Been waiting to see him in his tux.
法拉 Farrah.
-菲尔 -很高兴见到... - Phil. ‭- It is so delightful to see --
天啊 Oh. Gosh.
你能相信我们的孩子要结婚了吗 Can you believe our babies are getting married?
我能 I can.
我在秘鲁的一丛篝火里见到了这个景象 I saw it in a vision at a campfire in Peru.
这是我的父亲 伯特 This is my father, Bert.
很荣幸能... Oh, it's such an honor to --
伏特加 Vodka!
好漂亮的裙子 What a lovely dress.
其实这是萨满教的婚礼礼服 It's actually a shamanic wedding robe
产自南美 from South America.
我每次主持仪式都穿 I wear it at every ceremony I officiate.
这就有点尴尬了 Ohhh. This is awkward.
我要主持仪式 I'm doing the ceremony.
但这是我想了一辈子的事啊 But this is something I've dreamed about all of my lives.
妈 这是什么情况 Mom, what the hell is going on?
宝贝 其实没有看上去那么糟啦 Oh, honey, honey, it's not as bad as it looks.
你看 还是小规模 又简洁又... See, it's still small and simple and --
别帮倒忙 Not helping.
怎么了 我们要在她步向祭坛时奏乐啊 What? We were gonna play her down the aisle.
对 没有风笛伴奏的婚礼会遭受厄运 Yeah. Bad luck to get married without bagpipes.
我妈的第一个婚礼 没有风笛 My mom's first wedding -- no bagpipes.
我妈的第二个婚礼 有风笛 My mom's second wedding -- bagpipes.
六个月之后 还没离婚 Six months later, she's still married.
我的意思是 这就是科学啊 I mean, that's just science.
这又是什么 Now what?
我们需要食物 所以 Oh, well, we needed food, so...
你们好啊 小情侣 Hola, lovebirds.
这真是场灾难 Oh, this is a disaster.
我理解 不过我们也没法选择儿时的家 I know, but we can't pick our childhood homes.
别担心 我能解决好一切的 Don't worry. I can fix everything.
不要着急 慢慢去换你的衣服吧 Just take your time changing your clothes.
这就是我要穿的 Oh, this is what I'm wearing.
你太搞笑了 You're hilarious.
让我见见这对恩爱情侣 Let me see the happy couple.
恭喜你 海莉 Congratulations, Haley.
恭喜你 安迪 Congratulations, Andy.
抱歉 宝贝 我知道你有点生气 Sorry. ‭Honey, I know you're a little annoyed.
真是不好意思我让你这么想了 Oh, I'm so sorry I gave you that impression.
我都快气死了 I'm a lot annoyed.
不过这样更好 But it's better.
这样的话 你就能被爱你的人所环绕 This way, you'll be surrounded by people who love you.
就是她 That's her.
恭喜你 我真为你高兴 Congratulations! I am so happy for you.
卢克 Luke?
这是安娜贝尔 Uh, this is Annabelle.
我们刚在交友软件上认识 We just met on Tinder.
不过我们还没来得及做什么 But we haven't done anything yet.
你们猜怎么着 宝宝们 Guess what, babies.
今天你们能尝尝酒的滋味了 You're gonna taste some wine today!
既然婚礼快开始了 So, if we're gonna get this thing started,
你是不是应该上楼换个衣服 maybe you should go up and change, huh?
再说最后一次 这就是我 Oh, for the last time, this is what I'm --
算了 我去换 Screw it. I'm changing.
-不 不用 -不用换 如果那就是 - No, don't - No, don't change, if that's --
-真是的 -对不起 我错了 - Damn it! What - Sorry. I'm sorry.
歌洛莉亚 Gloria, Gloria.
帮我个忙 Do me a favor.
往我的电视机里放点腊肠 Put some salami in my TV.
不管这是什么的暗号 我都不答应 Whatever that is a code for, the answer is no.
好吧 那我自己来 Okay, fine. I'll do it myself.
拖住奥森一小会儿 Keep Orson occupied for about a minute.
亚瑟乖仔 过来 Arthur Goodboy, come.
奥森先生 Mr. Orson.
我想知道 你生活的一切都是你的狗狗吗 Um, I need to know -- is your whole life your dog?
不不 我对单人喜剧也有所涉猎 Oh, no. I also dabble in stand-up comedy.
我以前会把自己的段子给亚瑟乖仔试讲一遍 In fact, I used to try out all of my material on Arthur Goodboy
直到后来善待动物组织指控我拿动物做试验 until I got in trouble with PETA for animal testing.
话说回来 亚瑟去哪了 Speaking of, where is Arthur?
我相信它没事的 I'm sure he's fine.
亚瑟 亚瑟 Arthur? Arthur?
它在活动室里 狼吞虎咽什么冷切肠 He's in the family room, wolfing down some cold cuts.
不不不 它消化不了那个 No, no, no. He can't digest that.
西装可是租来的还要还回去 And that tuxedo is rented.
别 等一等 No, please! Wait!
住手 Aah! Stop!
住手 什么 不要 Stop? What, no!
它很喜欢这个床 别啊 它喜欢在里面 He's enjoying the bed. No, he loves it in there.
别说了 Don't.
那个机器人什么都跟我说了 The robot told me everything.
-对不起 但是我以为只要它 -别说了 - Oh, I'm sorry, but I thought once he got - Stop! Unh!
我会待到婚礼结束 I will stay for the wedding
免得毁掉海尔西和德里克的大喜日子 so as not to ruin Halsey and Derek's special day,
但是我们的合作没戏了 but this partnership is off.
我这是在做什么 What am I doing?
让自己丢人现眼 Making a fool of yourself --
你一整天都在这样 what you have done the whole day.
对 我表现得像个傻瓜 Yeah. I'm acting like an idiot.
这个点子太蠢了 I mean, this was a stupid idea,
在我这把年纪还想重新创业 trying to launch a whole new business at my age.
我还以为会很有意思 I thought it would be fun,
我早就该知道的 我该金盆洗手了 but I should've known I-I need to hang it up.
我想静静 I need a second.
狗床确实很滑稽很悲哀 Dog beds are ridiculous and sad.
但是对杰来说很重要 But they're important to Jay.
我想爱一个人就意味着你也需要尊重他们 So I guess that loving someone means that you have to respect
愚蠢又令人恶心的梦想 their idiotic, nauseating dreams.
你好 老兄弟 Hey, old-timer.
我喜欢你的轮椅 I dig those wheels.
为什么这个吸尘器在跟我说话 Why is this vacuum cleaner talking to me?!
我们剩的时间不多了 Okay, we are definitely cutting it close,
不过我觉得我们能赶上的 but I think we're gonna make it.
你知道吗 按传统的婚礼仪式 You know, it's just that, uh, traditionally,
是新娘的爸爸对这些事情说了算 the father of the bride calls the shots at these things.
老天爷 菲尔 Oh, my goddess, Phil.
一定要这样的话 那我们彻底回到传统婚礼好了 By all means, let's return to traditional weddings.
或许你愿意讨论一下海莉的嫁妆 Perhaps you'd like to discuss the matter of Haley's dowry.
你们准备陪嫁牲畜还是土地呢 Are you prepared to offer livestock or land?
法拉 如果这是在你们的 Farrah, I would defer to you
圆顶帐篷里我会听你的 if this were happening in your yurt.
好吧 Fine.
我们来掷橡子决定吧 We'll settle this over a game of acorns.
伸出你的手来 Put out your hands.
橡子 说话吧 Acorns, speak.
对不起 菲尔 Oh. Sorry, Phil.
三局两胜 Best of 3.
这是在干什么 What am I doing?
好了 你们俩 停下来 Okay, both of you, stop!
你们两个都主持 行吗 You can both officiate, all right?
但是那不会花两倍的时间吗 Yeah, but won't that take twice as long?
不管谁主持 能不能抽出点时间 Uh, whoever's officiating, if you can carve out some time
让我读一下我写的诗 for a poem I've written.
这是《贝奥武夫》和《电子情书》的结合版 It's sort of a "Beowulf" Meets "You've Got Mail."
天啊 求求不要读诗了 别啊 Oh, God, no! No poems! No!
-没人想听诗 -谁要听啊 - Nobody wants a poem! - No one wants that!
-快点吧 流程走下去 -继续下去 - Come on! Let's move this thing along! - Get it going!
你们得交出《苏菲的抉择》票 You need to give your "Sophie's Choice" ticket
给那个养狗怪人 to the dog weirdo.
我爸居然想看音乐剧吗 My dad wants to see a musical?
不是 是另一个养狗怪人 No, the other dog weirdo.
你们没看到他听到时有多兴奋吗 Didn't you see how excited he got when he heard about it?
但这事绝对没门 您慢走 Yeah, well, that's not happening. No, thank you.
想想这些年来 Think about all the sacrifices
你父亲为你做的牺牲啊 that your father has made for you.
但我真的不在意啊 Oh, I just don't care.
你们反正也来不及赶到 You're not gonna make it anyways.
我们能赶到 婚礼马上就要开始了 Y-Yes, we are, 'cause the wedding's about to start.
-他们来啦 -是吗 - Here they come. - Is it?
不好意思 Excuse me.
在我们开始这场美好的仪式之前 Um, before we start this beautiful ceremony,
在座各位何不轮流一下 why don't we go around the room
聊聊这场婚礼对你们代表的意义 and talk about what this wedding means to us?
我想应该没人想被拱上台做出发言吧 Yeah, I don't think anybody wants to be put on the spot.
就继续把婚礼流程走完吧 Let's just get on with the wedding.
对我来说 婚姻不只是两个人心的联结 To me, a marriage is not just the joining of two hearts.
还是两个家庭合而为一 It's the melding of families.
请听我说这句 And can I just say this --
-不听 坐下 -不听 坐下 - No! Sit down! - No! Sit down!
去吧 去吧 这就对啦 Go on, go on. There you go.
撒的是 泡沫塑料吗 Are those... packing peanuts?
我只有十分钟准备 还没经费 I had 10 minutes and no budget.
-真的要发生了呢 -是啊 - This is happening. - Yep.
这只狗在对斯黛拉做什么啊 What's this dog doing to Stella?
坏狗狗 不许日 Bad dog! No humping!
不许羞辱他 这是她的错 Don't shame him! That's her fault.
她自己在他脸上扭屁股 She's wagging her hips in his face!
那是她腰不好 That's her dysplasia.
而且都2019年了 And it's 2019.
他怎么可以强抢民女呢 What he did is not okay!
糟糕 我是不是在动啊 Uh-oh. Am I moving?
好像有东西卡住了 Something's stuck!
-菲尔 我跌倒了 -看 就是这样 - Phil, I'm falling! - See, this -- this --
这就是为什么我不想请人来 this is why I didn't want anyone here!
这就是为什么我想私奔 This is why I wanted to elope!
海莉 我知道你不高兴 但他们是你的家人啊 Haley, I know you're upset, but this is your family.
你谁啊 Who are you?!
好 够了 够了 Okay, enough! Enough.
迪兰 海莉 现在都到厨房来 Dylan, Haley, in the kitchen -- now!
鞋真好看 Nice shoes!
很抱歉 各位 I am, uh, so sorry, folks.
可能 可能需要大家等一小段时间 This is -- This is gonna take a little while.
或许艾丽克斯和比尔可以给大家奏点音乐 Maybe Alex and Bill can play something.
-不要 -别了 - No! - No!
-我们是赶不上了对吧 -好吧 不行 - We're not gonna make it, are we? ‭- Okay, no.
我们估计来不及 感觉就没戏了 We're not gonna make it! ‭It -- It doesn't look like it.
不好意思 Hey, um...
我爸爸希望你能收下这些票 Hi. My dad wanted you to have these tickets.
我勒个大丹犬 太谢谢你们了 Great Danes! Thank you!
别着急 你还有一件事情没做呢 Not so fast. You still have something to do.
听 听我说 Listen. Listen to me.
妈 我不想听 I don't want to hear it, Mom.
跑吧 Run.
-什么 -是的 - What?! ‭- Yeah.
很抱歉事情没按我们料想中的发展 We're really sorry that this all got away from us.
但我们真正在乎的是你开心 But all we care about is that you're happy.
而你应该拥有你想要的婚礼 And you should have the wedding you want.
你妈妈说得对 Your mom's right.
我们也私定终身过 现在想起来 We eloped, and I still think of it
还觉得那是我人生中最美好的一段时光之一 as one of the best days of my life.
到现在还感觉那是我们俩最后独处的日子 It still seems like the last day we were alone.
这... That's...
小宝贝 Oh, honey.
你们四个人快上路吧 The four of you better get going, huh?
是啊 Yeah.
我的宝贝们啊 Ohh, my babies.
爱你们 I love you, guys.
再见 再见啦 Bye. Bye.
你还好吗 You okay?
其实不好 Not really, no.
我好难过自己不能在场陪伴 I hate that we're not gonna be there.
我一直觉得她结婚时我一定会在场 I always assumed we would be at her wedding.
这样是不是很自私啊 Is that selfish?
当然不 No.
这样才公平啊 It's only fair.
她也参加了我们的婚礼 She was at ours.
是啊 Mm. She was.
快看 Look at this.
他在一分钟前发了文 已经有五千赞了 He posted one minute ago. It's already got 5,000 likes.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我爱你嘛 I love you.
而比狗床还不性感的 就是半途而废了 And the only thing less sexy than a dog bed is a quitter,
我可不想嫁给半途而废的人 and I didn't marry a quitter.
我娶了个天使 I married an angel.
是的 Yes, you did!
能请大家注意听我说一下吗 Could I have everyone's attention? Um...
我想说在场的大多数人 I just want to say that most of you
都对我们十分重要 are very important to us.
但婚礼取消了 感谢你们的到来 But the wedding's off, and thanks for coming.
-什么 -你耍我们啊 - What?! - You got to be kidding me!
我真的服了 我们这是血海深仇 This is an outrage. I will never forgive you.
你们俩有兴趣给在场各位唱个歌吗 Perhaps the two of you would like to sing a song?
♪ 抉择 困难 ♪ ♪ Choices, impossible ♪
-♪ 抉择 ♪ -♪ 抉择 困难 ♪ - ♪ Choices ♪ - ♪ Choices, impossible ♪
-♪ 抉择 ♪ -♪ 为什么有那么多 ♪ - ♪ Choices ♪ - ♪ Why are there so many ♪
♪ 声音 ♪ ♪ Voices ♪
♪ 抉择与声音与声音 ♪ ♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪
老妈 老爸 Mom? Dad?
亲爱的 Oh, honey.
你回来啦 怎么样了 Hey. How did it go?
我们最后没结婚 Uh, we...didn't go through with it.
什么 What?
我们当时在24小时证婚教堂 We were at this 24-hour chapel,
终于叫到我们了 但... and they called our names, but...
但就是有哪里感觉怪怪的 something about it just didn't feel right.
亲爱的 没关系 Sweetheart, it's okay.
时候到了你自己会知道的 You'll know when it's the right time.
所以我来了这里 That's why I'm here.
我想了想你们说过的话 I thought about what you said
就是我应该拥有自己想要的婚礼 about how I should have the wedding that I want.
我想要的婚礼是你们在场的那种 Well, the wedding that I want has you guys there.
就像婚礼鹿角一样 And, like the nuptial antler,
你们的婚姻将坚固无比 your bond will never be broken.
你来收尾吧 菲尔 Take us home, Phil.
所以 And so,
我以无痛征婚网所赋予我的权力 by the powers vested in me by NoPainOrdain.Com,
我宣布你 迪兰 I pronounce you, Dylan...
与你 海莉 and you, Haley...
正式成为 husband...
夫妻 ...and wife.
快亲新娘啊 Hey! Kiss her already!
天啊 Oh, my God.
你想跟我谈事情吗 You want to talk to me.
是啊 有件事这几天一直让我烦心 Yeah. Um... it's been bothering me the last few days.
就是他们本来想终身 迪兰没有先来 Since they were gonna elope, Dylan never came to me
求我同意让他娶我女儿 and ask for Haley's hand in marriage.
是啊 Yeah.
然后我想到了 Well, then it occur to me that
我跟克莱尔也私定终身了 since Claire and I eloped
我当年也没有正式去请求让我娶你女儿 I never offically asked you for her hand in marriage.
-所以呢... -那你问我啊 - So ah... - So ask me.
行 Okay.
杰 Jay,
我非常爱你女儿 I love your daughter very much.
我想请求你... And I would like your...
不行 Nop.
很会搞笑 That's very funny.
但说真的 我很希望有你的同意与祝福 But seriously, I would very much like your blessing.
抱歉 但我心里有些疑虑 我不同意 Sorry, I've got several conserns. I'm not onboard.
你知道这只是走个过场吧 You realise this is just a formality.
我和她都结婚要25年了 We've been married for more almost 25 years.
这无数年间都没有我的祝福 And the entire time without my blessing.
这件事需要我买多少张狗床才能摆平 Ok, how many dog beds is this gonna cost me?
-5张 -3张 - Five. - Three.
-4张 -成交 - Four. - Done.
已祝福 Blessed.