翻译: 柯希莫的枷锁 Eris
校对: 濑成一
我叫Nathan Fielder My name is Nathan Fielder
后期: 满甲雪
毕业于加拿大最顶尖的商学院之一 and I graduated from one of canada's top business schools
学业成绩单
并且成绩优异 with really good grades.
压制: 肉包
如今 我运用我的学识 Now, I'm using my knowledge
来帮助挣扎求生的小企业主 to help struggling small business owners
在这个竞争激烈的世界里获得成功 make it in this competitive world.
总监: pendz
改造前
改造后
面包和糕点
改造前
面包糕点
改造后
这 This...
第一季 第六集
电波诚译
救援 高手
就是救援高手 is Nathan For You.
在所有靠尸体赚钱的方法中 Of all the ways to make money with dead bodies,
可能最受欢迎的就是经营一家殡仪馆了 perhaps the most popular is running a funeral home.
博伊德殡仪馆 始于1963年
每天都有人因各种原因死去 And with people dying daily from everything
从心脏病 from heart attacks
到拍素材照时突然晕倒 to collapsing during a stock photo shoot,
丧葬行业从没像现在那么赚钱 the funeral business has never been more profitable.
优质钢铁 20号衬垫 自由蓝
问问Candy Boyd就知道了 Just ask Candy Boyd.
她在加州林伍德区经营博伊德殡仪馆 She's been running Boyd funeral home in Linwood, California,
博伊德殡仪馆 入口 11109街
已经超过15年了 for over 15 years,
今天我去拜访了她 and today, I paid her a visit
并给她出主意让她的事业更成功 with an idea to make her business even better.
Candy不知道的是 我前一晚已经去过了 Unbeknownst to Candy, I went by the night before
我戴着常用的伪装去进行勘察 in my usual disguise to scope things out,
但是我的胡子突然粘不牢了 but my beard was coming loose,
所以最终没敢进门 so I was too afraid to go inside.
于是我就只查看了他们的网站 So I ended up just checking out their website
来了解他们家的生意 to learn more about the business.
大致来说 你是做死亡生意的 So basically, your business is death.
对 是的 Correct. Correct.
博伊德殡仪馆老板
那对你来说一定是苦乐参半 And that must be bittersweet for you.
是啊 确实如此 I must say, it is.
- 苦是因为有人死 - 对 - Bitter because people die... - Right.
- 乐是因为 - 嗯 - and sweet... - Right.
因为你能赚到钱 because you're making money.
- 没错 没错 - 所以对你来说很难 - Exactly, exactly. - So it's hard,
- 因为有人死的时候你可能会兴奋 - 对 - because you maybe get excited when someone dies. - Right,
- 没错 - 因为你会想 -exactly. - Because you're like,
- "我有钱可赚了" - 对 没错 没错 - "I'm gonna profit from this..." - Right, exactly, exactly.
- 但这又是悲伤的因为 "哎" - 没错 没错 - but it's sad because, "Oh..." - Exactly, exactly.
他们失去了一位至亲 they're, like, losing.
- 没错 - 所以得寻求平衡 - Exactly. - So it's a balance.
得寻求平衡 It's a balance.
钱对于Boyd女士显然是重要的 Money was clearly important to Mrs. Boyd,
服务您于困难之时
提供服务
而我发觉她错失了一些有利可图的服务种类 and I saw she was missing out on some profitable services
来供顾客选择 to offer her customers.
计划:
计划是 我想让她给顾客选择 The plan-- I wanted her to give people the option
买更多朋友
买更多朋友的机会 of buying more friends.
- 什么叫买更多朋友 - 这么说吧 - Buying more friends? - Basically,
你死的时候 when you die,
你希望有很多人来参加葬礼 you want to have a lot of people come to your funeral,
因为这意味着你很受欢迎 because it shows that you're well-liked.
没错 Correct.
所以我觉得你应该让人们选择是否要花钱请演员 So I think you should give people the option of paying for actors
在葬礼上扮演家人或朋友 to be family or friends at a funeral,
- 噢 我懂了 我懂了 - 来填满礼厅 - Oh, I see, I see. - like, to fill the room.
- 你明白了吗 - 是的 - Do you understand? - Yeah.
这会是非常有利可图的附加服务 And it could be a very profitable add-on service
- 供顾客选择 - 我觉得这很有意思 - to offer to people. - Well, I mean, it is pretty interesting.
但我不确定 I don't know--
我很愿意向你展示一下这项服务的效果 I'd love to demonstrate for you what it might look like.
哦当然 Oh, sure.
- 那就太好了 - 也许你就会接受了 - That'd be great. - And maybe that would help sell it to you.
我不是要拒绝 我们先看看会发生什么吧 I'm not saying "No." Let's just see what happens,
还有 你懂的 And, you know--
为了演示我的想法 To demonstrate my idea,
我要召集一支演员梦之队 I needed to assemble a dream team of actors
他们要知道在葬礼上该如何表现 who know how to conduct themselves at a funeral,
于是我约见了一些专业演员 So I met with some professional actors
来选出其中的佼佼者 to pick out the best.
- 这个寡妇刚刚失去丈夫 - 好的 - This widow just lost her husband.- Okay.
安慰她一下 So make her feel better.
你丈夫的事我很遗憾 很遗憾你失去了他 I'm sorry about your husband. I'm sorry about your loss.
也许你可以拥抱并亲吻她 And maybe you'd hug her and kiss her.
如果你需要的话给我打电话 Please call me if you need anything.
录用
按你简历上写的 你会很多种方言 So you can do a lot of dialects, you wrote.
是的 我毫不费力就能学会别人的语言 Yes, I pick up people's languages without even trying.
我不是刻意去学的 我 I don't mean to, I--
你写了加拿大式英语 你能说吗 It says "Canadian" You can do?
加拿大式英语 呃 Canadian, um...
加拿大方言和英式英语很像 Canadian is a lot like British.
- 我是加拿大人 - 是吗 - I'm Canadian. - Are you Canadian?
- 是啊 - 好吧 但你口音挺正常的啊 - Yeah. - Well, you sound normal.
录用
葬礼时一个小孩在过道里跑来跑去 A child is running up and down the aisles during the service.
你会怎么解决 How do you handle this?
你这个小混蛋 回到你的座位上去 You are a little s**t! Just go back to your seat,
否则我要告诉你的混蛋爸妈 or I'm gonna tell your f**ckin' parents!
录用
肖恩·康纳利 英国演员 初代007
我是肖恩·康纳利 I am Sean Connery.
我想做个按摩 I want a massage.
录用
我在沙漠里生活 I live up in the desert.
录用
现在我已经选好了演员 Now that I had selected my actors,
我想向Candy展示 I wanted to demonstrate for Candy
一个假扮的家人和朋友参与的葬礼会是什么样 what a funeral service with fake family and friends might look like.
于是前一天晚上我写了个剧本 So I spent the night writing a script
讲一个虚构死者的葬礼 for the funeral of a fake dead guy
淡入:
内景 葬礼
每个人都很悲伤
并发给了所有演员 and sent it to all the actors.
第二天 我们来到殡仪馆 The next day, we arrived at the funeral home
排练完毕并换好了衣服 rehearsed and in wardrobe,
演员都已就位后 and with the actors in place,
是时候带Boyd女士来看看了 it was time to bring in Mrs. Boyd.
- 戴黑帽子的女士就是遗孀 - 嗯哼 遗孀 - The woman in the black hat is the widow. - Mm-hmm, the widow.
她请了七个演员 And she hired seven actors
让那个刚刚过世的男人看起来 to make it look like that man who just died,
就是那个爬进棺材的男人 比实际上更受喜爱 who's getting in the casket, was more loved than he was.
- 好吧 - 好嘞 - Okay. - Okay.
那我们可以开始了 And I think we're ready to begin.
今天我们聚在这里 We are gathered here today
来悼念Sid Howard Doubletree to remember Sid Howard Doubletree.
今天出席葬礼的人数表明 And if the attendance today is any indication,
Sid是一个深受大家喜爱的人 Sid was a very loved man.
有人有话要说吗 Would anyone like to say a few words?
Sid是一个很好的人 Sid was such a good guy.
他曾经毫无缘由给了我1000美元 He once gave me $1,000 for no reason.
我好难过 我好难过 I'm so sad. I am so sad.
我好难过 I am so sad.
我真的好难过 I am so...sad.
我不能再憋在心里了 I can't hold it in anymore.
我和Sid是情人 Me and sid were lovers.
我们过去七年都在搞婚外情 We've been having an affair for the last seven years.
我就知道 I knew it!
每次晚上他说要去便利店 其实都是去见你了 Every night he said he was going to 7-eleven, he was with you!
- 对不起 - 大家冷静点 - I'm sorry. - We cannot be mad.
Sid被诅咒了 Sid was cursed...
被诅咒有太多爱要赠与别人 cursed with the gift of having too much love to give.
现在 请和我一起来唱<人终有一死> Now, please join me in singing Death Happens,
这是Nathan Fielder原创的葬礼歌曲 an original funeral song by Nathan Fielder,
并请大家上前来见死者最后一面 as you come up to view the body.
*他如此悲伤* *He's so sad*
*死亡如此悲伤* *Death is so sad*
John 你的眼睛睁开了 John, your eyes are open.
你得把眼睛闭上 You need to keep your eyes closed.
你的腿也在动 You're moving your legs too.
你应该已经死了 你 You're supposed to be dead. Do you--
我没意识到腿在动 I didn't realize I was moving it.
我还以为自己完全静止了 所以 I thought I was absolutely still, so--
好吧 你又在说话了 你这些事一件都不能做 Okay, you're talking now. You can't even do any of that.
好了 你得 我要把盖子盖起来 Okay, just-- I need you to be-- I'm just gonna close this,
因为我想这样对我们大家都好 because I think it'd just be better for the rest of us.
*死亡如此悲伤* *Death is so sad*
*死亡是悲伤的* *Death is sad
*但它会来临* *but it ha-appens*
*朋友们 一切都会好起来* *Things get better for frie-iends*
那么你什么时候会实施这个计划 So how soon do you think you'll be implementing it?
这个嘛 我得再花时间想想 You know what? I need a little more time to think about it.
但就像我说过的 我倾向于试试看 But like I said, more "Yes" than "No."
我不知道你是不是这么想 你也不必非照着做 I don't know if you did, and you don't have to,
但有时候 我做了这些事情 but sometimes, when I do these things,
人们会给我答谢的礼物 people will have a "Thank you" gift for me.
- 不知道你是否 - 好吧 我大概不会 - I don't know if you-- - Okay, no, I guess not.
好吧 嗯 像这样的情况 Okay, well, in these situations,
我们也做了准备 we just have something prepared.
好吧 Mm-hmm.
也许我可以把礼物给你 你再递给我 So maybe I could give it to you and you could hand it to me
这样拍出来的话就好像是你在给我礼物 so it's like you're giving it to me on camera.
- 好的 好的 - 好 那我就去 - Okay. Okay. - Okay, so I'll just--
我去拿礼物了 I'll just grab it.
- 好的 - 好的 - Okay. - Okay.
- 那我重新进来一次 - 好吧 - So I'll-- I'll come in again. - Okay.
- 噢 嗨 Boyd女士 - 嗨 你好吗 - Oh, hi, Mrs. Boyd. - Hi. Hi, how are you?
- 好极了 - 太好了 见到你真好 - Hi, great. - Good, good. Good to see you.
呃 这是什么 Um, what is this?
这是呃 是聊表我心意的一个小礼物 This is a-- a small token of my appreciation
感谢你向我提议的这项服务 for the service that you brought to my attention.
我的天啊 谢谢你 Oh, my god. Thank you.
你真的不必这么做的 You really didn't have to do this.
应该的 Yes, we did.
剪刀吗 Scissors?
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
为什么要送我剪刀 Why did you get me scissors?
我想每个人都需要一把剪刀吧 Everybody needs a pair of scissors, I guess.
这是新的还是用过的 Are these used or are they new?
- 是崭新的 - 噢 好吧 - No, they're new. - Oh, okay.
太好了 谢谢你的剪刀 Great, it was-- thank you for the scissors,
希望你能采纳我的主意 and I hope you use the idea.
- 谢谢你 - 那好 - Thank you. - Okay.
- 再见 - 再见 - Bye. - Bye-bye.
人们会不计代价地寻求最好的东西 People will do anything to get the best,
那为什么这家声称有洛杉矶最佳汉堡的店却空无一人 so why is the place that claims to have the best burger in Los Angeles completely empty?
洛城最佳汉堡
Gustavo Munoz在加州洛杉矶经营洛城汉堡店 Gustavo Munoz owns L.A. Burger in Los Angeles, California,
他卖的汉堡是全市最好吃的 and he has the best burger in town.
洛城汉堡店店主
我的汉堡是全洛城最棒的 I have the best burgers in L.A.
于是我去拜访了他 So I paid him a visit
并给他出主意让所有人都来买他的汉堡 with a way to get everyone to try his burger.
计划:
我的计划是提供一个保证 My plan was a guarantee:
保证
试吃汉堡
试试他的汉堡 如果你觉得不是洛城最佳 Try the burger, and if you don't think it's the best in L.A.,
觉得不是最佳吗?
Gustavo会倒贴给你100美元 Gustavo will give you $100 cash of his own money.
100美金拿去
我不太确定 I don't know.
- 你的汉堡是最好的 对吗 - 没错 - It is the best, right? - It's the best.
好的 太棒了 那有什么问题吗 Okay, great. So then what's the problem?
呃 我有点担心 Well, I'm worried about the--
除非你的汉堡不是最好的 Unless your burger isn't the best.
呃 这个嘛 Uh, well, um--
等等 你的汉堡是最好的吗 Wait, is your burger the best?
当然是的 是最好的 Of course, it's the best.
因为从来没有汉堡店敢这么说 'Cause no burger place has ever made a claim like this,
但你可以 因为你的汉堡是最好的 but you can, 'cause you're the best.
好吧 这主意听起来不错 Well, it sounds good.
- 是吗 - 听起来不错 - Yeah? - It sounds good.
Gustavo同意自己出钱来做推广 Gustavo agreed to put up his own cash for the promotion,
因为这个促销太过诱人 and it was such an amazing offer,
以至于我们轻松受邀参加洛杉矶听众最多的晨间广播节目 that I was easily able to land us on L.A.'s most listened-to morning radio show.
95.5频 KLOS 95.5 klos.
来吧 试试我 呃 我们的汉堡 Come over, try our-- our burgers.
如 如果你不喜欢 将会得到100美元 If you-- if you don't like it, it's gonna be $100 bill.
哇 真令人惊叹 Wow, that's impressive.
你可真敢花钱啊 Gustavo That's-- that's a lot of balls, Gustavo...
- 是啊 - 100美元啊 我是说 - Yeah. - 100 bucks, 'cause I mean,
你难道不 那个 这次促销什么时候开始 aren't you--I mean, when's this promotion happening?
- 今天开始在 - 今天吗 - It's gonna happen today at-- - Today?
是的 Yeah.
- 我等不及想知道会发生什么了 - 挺你 好嘞 - I can't wait to hear how it turns out. - All faith, all right.
而且我相信他 And I trust him,
因为我从没尝过他的汉堡 because I haven't actually tried the burger.
我现在不吃红肉了 I don't eat red meat right now.
- 什么 - 啥 - What? - What?
我是说 他说他的汉堡是最好的 So I mean, when he says it's the best,
我 你懂的 所以我相信他说的 I-- you know, I believe that it's the best.
好吧 Okay.
我能问一下现在有多少人在听广播吗 Can I ask how many people are listening right now?
- 几百万 - 几百万吗 - Millions. - Millions?
- 是的 - 几百万人在听这个节目 Gustavo - Yeah. - Millions of people are listening to this right now, Gustavo.
- 这太疯狂了 - 是啊 - That's crazy. - Yeah, that is.
下面我们接通线路二的Freddy Let's go to Freddy on line two.
你好 Freddy 你觉得这个促销主意怎么样 Hello, Freddy. What do you think of this promotional idea?
就是洛城汉堡店搞的这个 That L.A. Burger's throwing on.
我觉得这主意太烂了 I think it's a terrible idea.
首先 告诉你我的背景吧 Let me tell you my background, first of all--
没人关心你的背景 Freddy 是吧 Well, I-- who cares about your background, Freddy?
好了 有请下一位 All right, next caller, please.
线路二的Steve 你好 Steve Steve on line two. Hello, Steve.
你觉得这个主意怎么样 What do you think of this idea?
我很敬佩 你懂的 他坚持为自己的产品说话 Well, I admire, you know, him standing by his product,
但我觉得有人会不诚实 but I think that somebody can be dishonest
在评价汉堡的时候撒谎 他们可以说 and lie about the burger. They can just say,
"你知道 我吃过其他更好吃的汉堡" "You know, I've had other burgers I think are better."
我发现在录广播节目时Gustavo开始变得紧张起来 I could see that Gustavo was getting nervous during the radio show,
于是录完后我和他交谈了一下 so after, I had a talk with him.
我发现你在那里面有点紧张 So I saw you were a little bit nervous in there.
呃 有一点 Um, a little.
是这样的 我不希望这给你带来压力 Well, I don't want this to be a stressful experience for you,
告诉你吧 虽然这不太可能 so I'll tell you what, even though it's unlikely
但我觉得人们会想要那100美元 I think people will claim the $100,
如果这样的话 我会拿自己的钱来垫 I'll personally put up my own money if they do,
但这只是因为我相信你的豪言壮语 But it's only because I trust you when you say it's the best.
它确实是最好的 对吧 It is the best, right?
没错 是最好的 It is the best, yes.
所以我们不会赔很多钱的 So we won't be paying a lot.
我们根本不会赔很多钱的 We're not gonna pay that much money...at all.
好的 所以你不承担任何风险 风险都由我来担 Okay, so no risk on you, it's all on me.
现在我有一点紧张了 Now I'm a bit nervous.
上电台节目宣传似乎奏效了 The radio show appearance seemed to work,
因为当我们回到洛城汉堡店的时候 because when we got back to L.A. Burger,
在街道旁已经排起长队了 there was a line around the block.
怎么样 你觉得如何 Huh? What do you think?
- 挺好的 - 是啊 是挺好的 - It's pretty good. - Yeah, it's very good, yeah.
- 好了 让我们去做些汉堡吧 - 好的 - All right, let's go cook some burgers. - Okay.
Gustavo在烤架旁工作 And with Gustavo on the grill,
而我负责调动人们的热情以迎接人生中最好吃的汉堡 I got the crowd pumped for the best burger experience they've ever had.
好的 欢迎大家来到洛城汉堡店 All right, everyone. Welcome to L.A. Burger.
促销活动马上要开始了 The promotion is about to begin.
在一些人买了汉堡之后 And after a couple people bought burgers,
看起来Gustavo是对的 It seemed like Gustavo was right.
呃 我今天早上听了Heidi和Frank主持的KLOS Uh, I listened to Klos this morning to Heidi and Frank,
但这是一个好汉堡 是的 好极了 我喜欢它 But it's a good burger, yeah. It's excellent. I like it.
来这里吃了一个汉堡 Came in here and had one.
洛城最好的汉堡 非常感谢 Best burger in L.A. Thank you very much.
我很高兴看见一些人诚实地 I was happy to see some people were being honest
表达对于汉堡的喜爱 about liking the burger,
但我怀疑其他人只是为了拿到钱而撒谎 but I suspected others were lying just to get the money.
我不太喜欢芥末和番茄酱 I mean, I'm not a fan of mustard and ketchup.
我认为他们应该把那些留给麦当劳 你懂我意思吧 I think they should leave that to Mcdonald's, you know?
这个汉堡在我嘴里留下了味道 It's leaving that aftertaste in my mouth.
跟你说实话吧 我等会得跑回家 I'll be honest with you. I'm gonna go home,
然后好好刷刷牙才能除掉味道 and I'm gonna brush my teeth to try to get it out,
因为这味实在是太糟糕了 because it's not good at all.
来辨别一个人是否喜欢某样东西的最佳方法 Well, the best way to tell if someone doesn't like something
就是在他咬一口的时候观察他的表情 is by looking at their face when they take a bite.
那个汉堡一点问题也没有 兄弟 There's nothing wrong with that hamburger, man.
那很好吃 That is good.
哇 你是想要100美元还是一座奥斯卡奖杯 Wow, do you want $100 or an academy award?
100美元 $100.
我认为一些人可能在撒谎 I thought some people might be dishonest,
所以我拿来了每个主要宗教的圣书 so I brought holy books from every major religion
来确保人们说的是实话 to be sure people were telling the truth.
我不认为这是洛城最好吃的汉堡 I do not think this is the best burger in L.A.
我不喜欢这个汉堡 我庄严起誓 I did not like the burger, I solemnly swear.
- 不 我不喜欢这个汉堡 - 好吧 - No, I don't like the burger. - Okay.
我去 有人能给我管牙膏吗 Whoo, anybody got some toothpaste, or something?
- 妈耶 - 但是依旧 - Shoot. - But still,
这似乎并没有用 而下午晚些时候 it didn't seem to help, and by late in the afternoon,
大把 大把 大把我自己的钱在离我而去 I was paying out tons and tons and tons of my own money.
我真的无法判断谁在撒谎 I just couldn't tell who was lying,
而当我尝试去质疑一些人的时候 他们变得很暴躁 and when I tried to question people, they got unruly.
兄弟 我现在就要给律师打电话了 Dude, I'll call a lawyer right now
如果你他妈说我在撒谎的话 if you're saying I'm f**king lying.
好吧 但你为什么这么生气 Yeah, but why are you so mad?
因为你说我在撒谎 'Cause you're saying I'm lying.
这绝对不是世界上最好吃的汉堡 It's not the greatest damn burger in the world,
或者洛杉矶 or in l.A.
让这些暴徒冷静下来的唯一方法就是给他们钱 The only way to calm the mob was to pay them out.
我是一个节俭的人 所以这对我来说真的很艰难 I'm a frugal guy, so this was really hard for me.
这是我第二个汉堡了 很好吃 就像 This is my second burger. It's good, like--
你吃的第二个汉堡吗 Your second burger?
第二个吗 你在说什么 The second? What are you talking about?
- 等等 暂停一下 - 第二个汉堡吗 - Wait, time out. - Second burger?
- 第二个汉堡 - 挺好吃的 - Second burger. - It's good.
在那天下午快结束的时候 And by the end of the afternoon,
我竭尽所能想要挽留住我的钱 I was doing whatever I could to hold onto my money.
这些汉堡 呃 不合我的胃口 The burgers, well, did not really satisfy my tastes ,
而且我连早饭都没有吃 and I hadn't even had breakfast.
现在的情况是如果我给了你这张100美元 It's getting to the point where if we give you the $100,
我们可能就要开始裁员了 we might have to start cutting staff,
而Raquel会是第一个要走的 and Raquel would be the first to go.
谁是Raquel Who's Raquel?
她在厨房工作 She works in the kitchen.
- 不会吧 - 所以 是的 - Oh, no. - So yeah,
你们每人一张100美元 拿去吧 here's your $100 each. Here you go.
- 真的很糟糕 - 是的 - It was really bad. - Yeah.
哦 嘿 Raquel 你正好走出来吗 Oh, hey, Raquel. Were you just walking out here?
嗨 你们怎么样 Hi. How are you?
- 很好 你怎么样 - 呃 Raquel - Good, how are you? - Uh, raquel,
这次促销让我们赔的钱比预计要多 the promotion is costing us more than we thought it would,
所以我们得让你离开了 so we're gonna have to let you go.
这不公平 It's not fair.
没事 拿着你的钱 拿去 It's fine. Have your money. Here.
- 不 不用了 真的 - 她在等着呢 - No, it's okay. Really, - She's waiting around.
不了吧 说实话 说实话的话 I mean, no. The truth is-- the truth is, I mean,
如果会造成这样的结果 就不值得这么做了 if it's gonna get like this, it's not really worth it.
你想让我把钱拿走吗 Do you want me to take it back?
- 你告诉我你想让我怎么做 - 好啊 - You tell me what you want to do. - Yeah.
你打算怎么解决这事 What are you gonna do with it?
- 我们会让你留下来的 - 谢谢 - We're gonna keep you around. - Thanks.
谢谢 谢 谢谢他们 Thanks. Thank--thank them.
你们人真好 That was nice of you guys.
十分感谢 你们很慷慨 Thanks so much. You guys are generous.
没问题 No problem.
一天结束的时候 By the end of the day,
顾客们满足地离开了 the customers left happy,
而且Gustavo也卖了很多汉堡 and Gustavo sold a lot of burgers.
看起来所有人都获益了 It seemed like everyone came out a winner,
除了我 except for me.
今天怎么样 How was it today?
很好 挺棒的 Good. It was good.
今天对我来说挺残忍的 That was brutal for me.
真的吗 Really?
我损失了6000美元 I lost $6,000.
6000美元 $6,000?
是的 用我自己的钱 付给那些顾客 Yeah, of my own money, from paying people.
这可能是一大笔钱 但话说回来 It may have been a lot of money, but then again,
能看见Gustavo的笑容 这都不算什么了 it was a small price to pay to see Gustavo smile.
而接下来 我将冒险赌上甚至比金钱更重要的东西 Coming up, though, I risk losing something even more precious than money--
我的生命 my life.
有时候 如果我们要帮助一家生意 Sometimes, if we're helping a business,
体验一下当顾客是什么感受是很重要的 it's important to experience what it's like to be a customer,
而有时 and once in a while,
这种顾客体验是十分刺激的 that customer experience is pretty rad.
Scott Smith在加州佩里斯市经营佩里斯高空跳伞 Scott Smith runs Skydive Perris in Perris, California,
虽然他很喜欢下落 and though he loves to fall,
但他不希望下落的一样东西是他的利润 one thing he doesn't want to fall is his profits.
如果全年的经营收入能够 It'd be nicer to have a little bit more consistency
佩里斯高空跳伞教练
更加稳定一点的话就更好了 in terms of the business level throughout the year.
高空跳伞实在太酷了 Skydiving is so sweet,
我对于要去帮助他的生意而感到十分振奋 and I was stoked to pay him a visit to help his business out.
- 嘿 - 嗨 你一定就是Nathan了 - Hey. - Hi. You must be Nathan.
- 是的 - 我叫Scott Smith 很高兴见到你 - Yeah. - Scott Smith. Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你 兄弟 Good to meet you, man.
- 高空跳伞 我想说 - 是的 - Skydiving, I mean... - Mm-hmm.
这是个很酷的行业 真的 That's a cool business. Like, really,
很棒的行业 所以跟我谈一下吧 that's sweet, so tell me about that.
高空跳伞是我们这儿的业务 Well, skydiving, it's our business here,
但同时也是我们的激情所在 but it's also our passion.
我很愿意试一下 跳一次伞 I mean, I'd love to do, like, a jump,
来更好地了解顾客体验 to get a better sense of the customer experience,
但主要还是想 你懂 就是 but mostly just to, you know, like,
- 摇滚一下 - 是的 没错 没错 - rock and roll and stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
是 就是体验生活 Yeah, just, like, get out there.
很好 我们有一些书面表格啥的 Excellent. Well, we got some paperwork
- 你需要先填一下 - 没问题 好的 兄弟 - you gotta fill out first. - All right, sweet, man.
第一次高空跳伞让我很兴奋 I was pumped for my first skydive,
而且这真的可以让我很好地了解佩里斯高空跳伞的顾客体验 and this would really give me a good sense of the customer experience at skydive perris,
但最重要的是 but mostly,
我只想飞腾在空中 感受强风灌注 I just wanted to get on out there and eat some wind.
所以我们要飞多高 大概150米吗 So how high are we going, like 500 feet?
呃 不 我们要飞到3800米 Uh, no, we're going to 12,500 feet.
比你说的要高一点点 It's a little bit higher than that.
让我 让我 听着 让我来 Let me--let me-- tell you what, let me
帮你把这个调整好 get this adjusted for you here.
真不错 Oh, cool.
是时候感受一下全力以赴铤而走险的乐趣了 It was time for some balls-to-the-wall risk-taking fun,
虽然这次跳伞对我来说简直就是小菜一碟 and even though this jump would be a cinch for me,
我还是十分兴奋 I was still super stoked.
呜呼 Whoo!
我们是下一个
好嘞 抓好你的背带
转过身来 然后右腿屈膝跪下
右膝放下去
保持头后倾 你准备好了吗
好的 等等
我刚刚想起来我要和一个朋友一起吃午餐 所以
最快下去的方法就是跳下去
但是我应该 But I'm supposed--
但我们说好了在三点见面 我想我要迟到了
我不想让他等我
我真的很想跳 但我不想让我的朋友等我
因为
我们能见到他 我们很快就能见到他了
什么
不 我有一个朋友
我约了个朋友一起吃午饭
我认为 I think--
糟糕 我真的想跳 但是
我完全忘掉了我和一个朋友约了吃午餐 I totally forgot I had lunch plans with my friend,
我完全没有把时间安排好 which was terrible scheduling on my part.
无论如何 我不能完成这次跳伞 Regardless, I couldn't do the jump,
否则我的朋友就要苦等了 or I'd keep my friend waiting.
对不起 我 我应该在这一切之前就想起这件事的 Sorry, I-I should have thought of it before and everything.
我只是应该去见 呃 我的朋友 I'm just supposed to meet, uh, my friend.
- 没事的 这没什么 - 这挺尴尬的 - Okay. It's okay. - It's embarrassing,
因为听上去像是个借口 或者像是 你懂的 'cause it seems like an excuse, or like I'm--you know,
一个临阵退缩的借口 但是我没有 an excuse for chickening out, but I didn't.
- 好的 好吧 - 什么 你为什么在笑 - Okay. Okay. - What? Why are you laughing?
好的 我 我没有在笑 Yeah, okay-- I would--I'm not laughing.
我真的要和一个朋友吃饭 I'm really meeting a friend for lunch.
- 好的 没问题啊 - 我不知道你是否 - Okay, that's fine. - I don't know if you're--
但你还是不相信我 You don't believe me, though.
我 那不重要 不是吗 I... it doesn't matter, does it?
- 不 你要见 - 那好 来吧 跟我一起 - No, you're meeting-- - Well, come, come.
- 我会 我会 - 好啊 - I'll--like, I'll-- - Okay.
- 你可以来见他 - 好的 - You can meet him. - Okay.
我真的很想跳的 太糟糕了 I really wanted to jump. It sucks.
没事 我们以后可以再找时间去跳的 Oh, we'll just go back and do it another time.
是啊 没错 Yeah, definitely.
- 你还系安全带啊 - 是啊 - Wearing a seat belt? - Yeah.
当我们来到我和朋友约好的那家餐厅时 When we arrived at the restaurant where I was supposed to meet my friend,
看起来他似乎迟到了 it seemed like he was running late.
这可真烦 This is so annoying.
但然后我就看见了他 But then I spotted him...
他来了 There he is.
像往常一样迟到了 嘿 Late as usual. Hey!
你还好吗 嘿 很高兴见到你 How's it going? Hey, good to see you.
你好吗 How's it going?
你还好吗 How's it going?
- 嘿 能帮我一个忙吗 - 呃 - Hey, can you help me out? - Uh--
我需要你装作是我的朋友 I need you to pretend to be my friend.
我会付你钱 40美元如何 I can pay you. Would you like $40?
- 好啊 - 可以吗 - Okay. - Is that okay?
当然 Sure.
我忘记我欠了我朋友40美元 I forgot that I owed my friend $40,
所以我做的第一件事就是还他钱 so the first thing I did was pay him back.
- 能再说一遍你的名字吗 - Nathan - So what was your name again? - Nathan.
切记要说服他你是我的朋友 It's very important you convince him you're my friend.
- 好的 - 记住了吗 好的 来吧 - All right. - Okay? All right, come on.
- 你好吗 真高兴见到你 - 你好啊 兄弟 - How are you? Good to see you. - What's up, bud?
- 好久没见到你了 - 行 - I haven't seen you for a while. - All right.
别表现得太 你演太过了 Don't act too-- you're overacting.
这位是Scott This is Scott.
嘿 很高兴见到你
其实吧 我想让你们两个交谈的主要原因是 I mean, the main reason I wanted you guys to chat
你们都很喜欢高空跳伞 所以 is because you're both pretty into skydiving, so--
是啊 我爱高空跳伞
你平时都在哪跳
我平时都在哪跳吗
是的 Yeah.
呃 就在佩里斯市
好吧 Okay.
你以前有看见过他吗 Do you ever see him around, or--
没 没 我没见过他
你一般哪几天上班
你说啥 呃 What's that? Um...
差不多每天吧
- 哦 真的吗 - 是啊 - Oh, really? - Yeah.
我一般周二和周三去
哦 好吧 Oh, okay.
但你在德国跳了很多次 对吧 But you did it a bunch in Germany, right?
那里不是你跳过最多次的地方吗 Isn't that where you did it most?
是的 我大多数时候在那儿跳
我只在这儿跳了几次
德国哪里 在哪个落区
在德国吗
呃
Scott见到了我的朋友 Well, scott met my friend,
所以现在他知道我在飞机上说的 So now he knew that what I was saying in the plane
并不是临阵退缩的借口 wasn't an excuse for chickening out,
所以我们走进了那个餐馆 So we headed in the diner
我好和我的老朋友叙叙旧 where I got to catch up with my old pal.
告诉Scott你出柜的故事吧 Tell scott the story of when you came out of the closet.
是个有趣的故事 跟你父母出柜 It's a funny story-- to your parents.
我的意思是 那挺尴尬的 但 I mean, it was awkward, but--
呃 当我出柜的时候 呃 Um, when I came out of the closet, um--
当我们吃完午餐后 After we were done with lunch,
Scott问我是否想回去再跳一次 Scott asked me if I wanted to go back and do the jump,
既然我没有其他事了 now that I was free.
我的回答是 当然可以 My answer--hell, yeah.
于是我们开车回到佩里斯高空跳伞 So we drove back to Skydive Perris,
再次穿好服装 向飞机走去 suited up again, and headed on that plane.
我十分兴奋 I was super stoked.
我可以终于感受一下飞翔的滋味了 Finally, I'd be able to eat some sky.
当我到踏板边缘时 我一刻也没有犹豫 Once I got to the edge, there was no hesitation.
三 二 一 然后我就跳下去了 "Three, two, one," and I was gone.
等等 等等 Wait. Wait.
终于跳下去的感觉真的很棒 It felt so good to finally jump.
天哪 多么刺激啊 Man, what a thrill.
在空中和鸟儿一起翱翔 多么纯净 Being up there with the birds-- so pure.
最后 我意识到佩里斯高空跳伞 In the end, I realized that Skydive Perris
并不需要我的建议 因为干他们这一行 didn't need my advice, because their business
唯一的使命就是给人们带去真实的体验 is all about giving people a real experience,
而什么都无法比这个更真实 and it doesn't get much realer than this.
一面很好又多汁 One side is nice and juicy.
在这一面 烤得正好又多汁 On this side, it's nice and juicy.
但这一面 它的 But on this side, it's got--
看见了吗 你连指甲都戳不进去 See, you can't even put your nail in it,
然而这一面 我的指头能直接插进去 where this side, my finger can go right in it.
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