翻译: Evelyn 亿生 AndreaLau
校对: 濑成一
晚上好 Good evening.
本次节目将在充满历史气息的伊利森公园进行拍摄 We're coming to you from the historic Elysian Park
后期: 满甲雪
位于加州洛杉矶市 in Los Angeles, California.
每周在我的节目上 我都鼓励人们铤而走险 Now, every week on my show, I challenge people to take big risks.
压制: 肉包
但是有些人批评我从不亲自冒险 But some have been critical that I never take risks myself.
总监: pendz
那么今晚 一切都将改变 Well, tonight, that's all gonna change.
在过去的一个月里 Over the past month,
我一直都在学习如何撬开这种警用手铐的锁 I've been learning how to pick the lock on these police-grade handcuffs.
"为什么" 你可能会问 "Why?" you ask.
因为今夜我所冒的风险 Because tonight I'm gonna take a bigger risk
要比任何人在任何电视节目上的都要大 than anyone has ever taken on television before.
稍后 我将会被拷在这个坚固的钢架上 In just a few moments, I'm going to be handcuffed to this solid steel frame,
并且我只有九十秒钟时间进行逃脱 and I'll have exactly 90 seconds to free myself
否则这个机器臂上的手爪 before the claw on this robotic arm
就会把我的裤子解开 undoes my pants,
使我暴露在一众孩子面前 exposing me to an audience of children.
如果这件事发生了 If that happens,
一位洛城警署的警官将随时准备以猥亵露体罪逮捕我 an L.A.P.D. officer is standing by to arrest me for indecent exposure.
我们都见识过逃脱大师们的冒死表演 We've all seen escape artists risk death before.
但是今晚 我将会冒着比死亡还大的风险 But tonight, I'm going to risk something even worse:
那就是成为终生都被记录在册的性侵犯者 becoming a registered sex offender for life.
你们今晚所要看到的是百分百真实的 And what you're going to see tonight is 100% real.
欢迎收看救援高手 Welcome to Nathan for You.
这 This...
就是耻辱之爪 is the Claw of Shame.
你知道这件事会引起争议的 对吗 Now, you know this is controversial, right?
- 我做这件事能有什么收获 - 什么也没有 - What do I gain by doing this? - Nothing.
他会逃脱吗 他会进监狱吗 If he's gonna escape, if he's gonna go to jail.
我可能根本就不会去尝试 I might not even attempt it.
他这是在以身试险 He's taking a big risk.
耻辱之爪
救援高手 第一季第七集
如果你看过我节目的话 If you've seen my show before,
你就会知道我通常致力于帮助小本生意 you know I usually focus on helping small businesses
授以他们商业妙招 by bringing them big ideas.
但是今晚这一集将会有一点不同 But tonight's episode is going to be a bit different.
现在 你们正在观看我的最终演练 Right now, you're seeing my final practice run,
以及我最后确保成功逃脱的机会 and my last chance to get the escape right
之后我将冒着成为性犯罪者的风险进行表演 before risking life as a sex offender.
但是为了达到今天这一步 But to get to this point,
我花了数月时间来计划和准备 it took months of planning and preparation.
首先 我并不是一个逃脱大师 Firstly, I am not an escape artist.
尽管我青少年时期有过一些变魔术的经验 And though I have some experience doing magic as a teenager...
包里什么都没有 对吗 There's nothing in the bag, right?
是的 Yeah.
包里面完全是空的 Bag is completely empty.
你们能一眼看穿它 You can see right through it.
我数年前就放弃了魔术表演 I quit performing years ago
并且我也从未尝试过逃脱表演 and have never done an escape before.
所以我订购了逃脱大师Mark Paskell的训练课程 So I booked a training session with escape master Mark Paskell
以学习如何撬开手铐上的锁 so I could learn how to pick the locks on a pair of cuffs.
我怎么才能从手铐里挣脱出来 How do I escape from handcuffs?
用薄垫片 A shim.
- 如果你有一个薄垫片 你就可以 - 哦 - If you have a shim, you can-- - Oh.
- 那是一个发卡吗 - 这是个发卡 - Is that a hair clip? - This is a hair clip,
逃脱大师
但是它被稍微改造过 but it's-- it's adapted a little bit.
你把它插进去 You get in there...
然后一推 and push.
- 好吧 - 然后你就能逃脱了 - Right. - Then you can get out.
即便他教了我 我还是花了超过三十分钟才撬开那个锁 Even after he taught me, it took me over 30 minutes to pick the lock.
我还得多加练习才能将开锁时间降至九十秒 I had a lot of work ahead of me to get my time down to 90 seconds.
在一些练习之后 我跟Mark分享了 And after some practicing, I told Mark
我这次逃脱的设想 my idea for the escape:
两个工作人员将用绳子把我的裤子拉下 To have two stagehands pulling down my pants with ropes,
让我暴露在大庭广众之下 exposing me to the public.
并且鉴于Mark很显然是这方面的专家 And since Mark was clearly an expert on this stuff,
我希望能聘请他成为这场逃脱的官方顾问 I was hoping to have him as an official advisor on the escape.
我是说 你觉得怎么样 I mean, what do you think?
嗯 我也不知道 Mm, I don't know.
这个策划有点超出我擅长的领域了 It's moving a little bit out of my field.
由你来当这场逃脱的顾问应该没问题吧 I guess I could say you're a consultant on the escape.
嗯 这不太好说 我回头再答复你吧 Mm, I don't know. I'll have to get back to you.
你想做我的顾问吗 Would you want that?
我之后再答复你 我得考虑考虑 I'll have to get back to you on that, I'll think on it.
我们只是给你个逃脱顾问的头衔而已 We'll just credit you as a consultant on the escape.
- 我非常感激 - 这不是什么大事 - I appreciate that. - It's no big deal.
- 我们把这个名号给你就好了 - 非常感谢 但是 - We'll just give it to you. - Appreciate that, but--
说定了 就这么说定了 It's done. It's as good as done.
我真的很感激 但是我想说的是 I appreciate it, but what I'm saying is,
我之后会再答复你 I will get back to you.
你之后会答复我关于头衔的事情吗 You'll get back to me about the credit?
是的 Yeah.
好吧 无论怎样我们都会把你名字放进去的 Well, we'll just put it in anyways.
就 我们会把你放进片尾鸣谢名单里的 Just, we'll put it in the credits of the show.
我再也没有得到Mark的回复 I never heard back from mark,
但至少我学会了如何撬开手铐 but at least I knew how to pick handcuffs.
但我不知道的是 成为性犯罪者需要满足什么法律条件 What I didn't know was the legal requirement for becoming a sex offender.
所以我找到了一位货真价实的加州法官 So I found an actual California judge
他同意在摄像机前对我的逃脱提供咨询 that would agree to advise me on the escape on camera,
他就是荣誉法官Anthony Filosa the honorable Anthony Filosa.
退休司法委员
所以如果我不能在九十秒内逃脱的话 So if I don't escape in 90 seconds,
我将会裸露在一些人面前 I'll be exposed to some people.
"一些人"指的是谁 What are "some people"?
比如 呃 成年人之类的 Just, like, adults or something?
- 我也不知道 - 孩子们 还是成年人 - I don't know. - Children? Adults?
如果是孩子的话效果会更好吗 Is children better?
有意思的问题 Interesting question.
这两者都会感到被侵犯 Both could be offended.
孩子的可能性更大 More likely children,
因为这个行为本身就算侵犯孩子 insofar as that it's offensive, period.
所以你是说用孩子们更好喽 So you're saying it's better to use children?
我 我并不认为我有资格提这种建议 I-I don't really think it's my place to suggest it.
- 好吧 没关系 - 可以了吧 - Okay. Sure. - All right?
嗯 我真不这么觉得 Yeah, I really don't.
我采取了法官的建议 I took the judge's suggestion
我应该将自己暴露在孩子们面前 that I should expose myself to children,
不仅如此 and on top of that,
他知道很多关于如何成为一名性侵犯者的信息 he was a treasure trove of information on how to become a sex offender.
在表演中必须有迹象表明你是存心这样做的 There would have to be the element of willfulness proven.
那这样吧 如果在我快开始之前 So would it help if, right before I did it,
我说 "我这么做的目的就是裸露自己" I said, "I'm doing this on purpose to expose myself"?
呃 反正你不要做任何事前预警 Well, you just abandon any precaution.
"你懂的 伙计们 可能会出事" "You know, folks, something could happen,"
"就算真的出事了" "you know, and if it does,"
"那又怎样" "so what?"
诸如此类的 Something like that.
所以像这样 就算事情出了差错 So it's like, you know, if this goes wrong,
我也并不在意 I don't really care.
- 真遗憾 因为我 - 真遗憾 - Too bad, 'cause I-- - Too bad.
- 我要 - 真遗憾 我 - I'm gonna-- - Too bad, I--
我要高潮了 这样让我性致大发 I'm gonna get off. It's gonna make me horny.
嗯 随便吧 Well, whatever.
但是我从他那里得知的最让人头疼的事情 The most troubling thing I learned from him, though,
就是如果有人帮我把裤子脱下 was that if anyone helped me pull my pants down,
他们也可能会进监狱 they could go to jail too.
那个人会和你一起承担罪责 That person is as guilty as you are.
所以我不能有任何帮手 So I can't have any helpers.
没错 Right.
我不想将除我之外的任何人置于危险的境地 I didn't want to put anyone at risk besides myself.
所以如果没有人类可以做这件事 So if no human could do it,
我就只能用机器人了 I was gonna have to use a robot.
而且这场搜寻花费了数月 And the search took months,
因为从美国军工企业到美国航空航天局 所有人都告诉我们 with everyone from U.S. Defense companies to NASA telling us
美国国防部
这样一种技术并不存在 the technology didn't exist
还没有这样一项技术
没有机器人能够拉下某人的裤子 to have a robot pull down someone's pants.
可能需要一个五年的博士学位论文
但我并没有放弃 而皇天不负有心人 But I didn't give up, and eventually,
如真特效公司
我找到了一个公司 他们宣称可以做到 I found a company that said they could do it.
就是它了 So this is it.
库卡机器人 世界顶级工业机器人制造公司
这是一个库卡机器人 型号是KR15-2 This is a KUKA-Robotics K.R.15-2.
如真特效 工程师
在John给我展示了这个机器人后 After john showed me the robot,
我向他详细介绍了我需要用它来干什么 I explained to him specifically what I needed it to do.
然后 一旦我的裤子被脱下后 Then, once the pants are down,
我要它上移到这里来 I want it to come up here,
勾住我的平角内裤 然后把它拉下来 hook onto the boxers, and pull those down.
John建议我做一套上面带圈的定制下装 John suggested making custom-designed pants with loops
这样机器人就能更轻松地将它拉下 that would make it easier for the robot to remove them,
因此我雇了一名裁缝依照John制定的规格来做下装 so I hired a tailor to make the pants to John's specifications.
并且在衣服制作的那一周内 And over the week they were being made,
他成为了我非正式的练习搭档 he informally became my practice partner.
我从他那里借了一件内裤 I borrowed a pair of his underwear
这样就能将我的两条裤子都脱下 so we could pull down my pants all the way
而不用看到我的丁丁 without seeing my penis.
九十秒了 90.
被人脱下裤子使我非常分心 The pants being taken off was definitely distracting,
但我离九十秒逃脱的目标越来越近了 but I was getting closer to my 90-second goal.
看时间 看时间 停下来 我用了多久 Time, time, stop it. What do I got?
好的 一百五十秒 Okay, 150.
在经过大约一小时的开锁训练 And after getting an hour or so of training it,
做好的裤子被打包起来送到了如真特效公司 the completed pants were packaged up and delivered to Reel EFX
因此可以开始给机器人设置程序了 so the robot could begin being programmed.
同时 In the meantime,
我想要知道性侵犯者进监狱的真正后果 I wanted to find out the real consequences of going to prison as a sex offender,
因此我和Jimmy Murphy见了一面 so I met up with Jimmy Murphy
他因一系列暴力案件服刑超过十一年 who's served over 11 years for a variety of violent crimes.
我这么跟你说吧 I'll tell you this.
前科犯
在监狱里 你最不想当的就是性罪犯 In there, it's the last thing you want to be.
那是最下等的人 It's the lowest.
如果我进了监狱会发生什么 What would happen to me in there?
这个嘛 你知道 你可能会 呃 Well, you know, you'd probably, uh, go--
回到你的牢房 然后你可能会发现 go to your cell, and you'd find
你枕头下有几块士力架 a couple of snickers bars on your pillow.
- 哦 哇哦 - 然后就会 - Oh, wow. - And then--
听上去一点都不糟糕啊 So this doesn't sound that bad at all.
不是的 你走进去可能会说 "哦 真不错的礼物" No, you'd go in there, and you'd say, "Oh, wow, what a gift."
你懂的 然后你就会吃掉这些东西 You know, and you'd eat the stuff.
再然后 就会有人过来问你 Well, someone's gonna come and say,
"嘿 我的巧克力呢" "Hey，what happened to my chocolate?"
然后你会说 "哦 那个 被我吃掉了" And you're gonna go, "Oh, I, uh, I ate that."
然后他们就会说 And then they're gonna go,
"那你得为此付出代价了" "Well, you need to pay for that."
嗯 怎么付呢 我又没有钱 Yeah, how? I don't have any money.
这样的话 你的头可能就要和某人的皮带扣若即若离了 Well, then you might find your head bouncing off somebody's belt buckle.
我不想做那样的事 I don't want to do that.
你当然不想了 No, of course you don't.
因为那里有很多皮带扣等着你 'Cause there's a lot of belt buckles in there.
- 真的吗 - 是啊 你会很累的 - Really? - Oh, yeah, you'll grow tired.
监狱里允许系皮带吗 They allow you to wear belts in prison?
- 不 这只是个 - 所以要怎么用 - No, it's a-- - So how would it work?
他们只把搭扣发给你吗 They just give you the buckle?
不是的 我 呃 Well, no, I, uh--
- 所以皮带扣并不存在 - 没错 并不存在 我的意思是 - So there's no belt buckle. - Well, no, not really. I meant--
那我的头不会在任何皮带扣附近运动喽 So my head wouldn't be bouncing around any belt buckles.
换句话说 你嘴里会含着根鸡巴 So, in other words, you'd have a c**k in your mouth.
我的意思是 那应该也不会来回弹吧 I mean, it probably wouldn't bounce, too,
因为在碰到蛋蛋的时候我肯定会停下来 because I would stop when I got to the balls
就不会再往前了 before I got in.
我不知道你是怎么做的 I don't know how you do it.
反正我会那么做的 Well, that's how I would.
一个男人给另一个男人口交当然没什么问题 There's nothing wrong with a man giving another man oral sex,
但我不想那么做 but I didn't want to do it.
而且这么想象了之后我开始怀疑 And visualizing it made me question
这整个特技表演到底值不值得 if this entire stunt was actually worth it.
回到如真特效公司后我更加忧虑了 My concerns were heightened when I returned to Reel EFX
因为机器人难以预料的糟糕表现 to find the robot acting unpredictably.
更糟糕的是 To make matters worse,
我发现其精准度将决定我命运的机器人 I found out that the robot whose precision would determine my fate
- 运行的系统是微软95 - 这个效果其实 - ran on Windows 95. - It's as good--
你一定是在逗我玩吧 You've gotta be kidding me.
我爸妈七年前就把他们那个装微软95系统的电脑扔了 My parents threw out their computer that ran Windows 95, like, seven years ago
因为扫雷游戏运行不太正常 because Minesweeper wasn't working properly.
没事的 因为程序没那么 It's okay. 'Cause what happens--
说真的 我的人生就 Honestly, like, my life, like--
这玩意在离我身子 this is moving within an--
- 没错 - 几毫米的地方动来动去 - Right. - millimeters of my body.
我最担心的是到了正式表演那天 I was mainly concerned because on the day of the escape,
John将不得不离开操控台 John would have to step away from the controls
然后让程序自动运行 and let the program run automatically.
但他向我保证这个软件绝对会成功 But he assured me the software would work.
所以这个机器人被运送到了伊利森公园 So the robot was transported to Elysian Park,
在那里超过50个工作人员 where a crew of over 50 people
花了整整两天的时间 worked for two straight days
为今夜历史性的表演做准备 to prepare for tonight's historic stunt.
今夜
今夜 Nathan Fielder Tonight, Nathan Fielder
冒着承受终极耻辱的风险 risks the ultimate shame,
终极
耻辱
与一个冷酷无情的机器人对决 facing a heartless robot
它的唯一任务就是暴露他的私处 that's only mission is to expose his private parts.
这可能是最危险的一场表演 This might be the most dangerous stunt
一场
最危险的
表演
前所
前所未有 ever imagined.
未有
孩子们
孩子们在看着 Children watching...
洛城警察在现场 L.A.P.D. present...
洛城警官
而这一切都发生在夜色中 And all in the dark of night.
夜色 之中
嗯 天生我材必有用 You know, I've been put on Earth for a reason,
我觉得这就是上帝为我安排好的 and I believe this is God's plan for me.
举世瞩目 The world is watching.
举世瞩目
他会激励成千上万的人 Will he inspire millions
并为他的祖国加拿大带去荣光 and honor his home country of Canada
还是身陷囹圄 甚至被驱逐出境 or end up behind bars and risk deportation?
电视史上的第一次尝试 Never before attempted in the history of television...
我是说 这可是喜剧中心台的节目 I mean, this is a Comedy Central show.
我的意思是 这简直 我们在做的事真是太疯狂了 I mean, this is-- it's crazy what we're doing.
我们
在做的事
太疯狂了
他会成功逃脱吗
他会成功逃脱 还是失败 Will he escape, or won't he?
还是会失败
Nathan Fielder挑战 Nathan Fielder takes on...
耻辱之爪
The Claw of Shame.
距离逃脱正式开始只剩一小会了 We're just moments away from the escape,
耻辱之爪
距逃脱还有
而今夜 我承受不了失败的代价 and tonight, I cannot risk failure.
但这几年我学到的一件事就是 But one thing I've learned over the years is that
你不能害怕失败 you can't be afraid of failing.
事实上 在我的节目里 当我帮助小商小贩的时候 In fact, on my show, when I help businesses,
失败再平常不过了 I fail all the time.
一般情况下我都羞于展示那些片段 And I'm normally shy to show those moments,
但今晚我要破个例 but tonight, I'm going to make an exception.
现在我们来回顾一下我最悲剧的几次失败 So let's take a look now at some of my greatest failures.
我最不受欢迎的主意之一 One of my least popular ideas
是建立一个完全无菌的热狗站 was for a completely germ-free hot dog stand.
全球唯一一家无菌热狗站
以下是运作方式 您什么都不碰 添加佐料无需双手 您的钱由帮工处理 谢谢
在室外的小吃摊上 At outdoor food carts,
病菌很容易就会从钱转移到你的食物上 it's easy for germs to transfer from money to your food.
为了彻底根除这个问题 So to completely eliminate this,
我想出了一种无需双手就能把佐料加到香肠里的办法 I designed a hands-free method to apply condiments to the wiener.
另外 还会有一名帮工在旁边 Also, there would be a second employee
他唯一的任务就是收钱 whose only job is to handle the money.
你动我钱包干吗 What are you doing with the wallet?
我们在提供一种无菌消费体验 We're doing a germ-free experience,
所以你不用自己拿钱了 so you don't handle your own money.
噢 是吗 Oh, really?
但人们对付钱这个环节有点不爽 But people were a bit annoyed with the money handling part.
能把钱包还给我了吗 Can I have my wallet back?
而这个解放双手的撒洋葱粒装置也是毛病百出 And the hands-free onion dispenser proved to be problematic as well.
所以你得 往上一次 往下一次 So you have to up-- one up, one down.
当它撞到桌子的时候 洋葱粒就会掉下来 When it hits the table, the onions will fall.
踩它 继续踩 And drop it. Keep dropping it.
一上一下地踩 Up and down, drop it.
多快啊 Fast.
这根本行不通 不可能行得通 This is not gonna work. It's not gonna work.
这跟我的装置可没有关系 That's nothing to do with the contraption.
热狗掉了就是掉了 If you drop a hot dog, you drop a hot dog.
大家还没有准备好接受这种无菌热狗消费体验 The public just wasn't ready for the germ-free hot dog experience,
所以这个想法暂时搁浅了 so I laid the concept to rest.
接下来的点子是 如何在不弄哭孩子的情况下 Next, I had an idea for a tearless way
告诉他他养的宠物死了 to tell a child that their pet has died,
这可以成为动物医院的追加服务 to be an up-sell service for an animal hospital.
我的想法是在宠物还活着的时候录制一个视频 The concept was to make a video of the pet while it's still alive,
告诉孩子现在它到了动物的天堂 telling the child it's in animal heaven now.
我雇了唯一一个回复我的Craiglist网站广告的配音演员 I hired the only voice actor that responded to my Craigslist ad
来为狗狗配音 to be the dog.
但当我们把视频展示给主人的孩子看时 But when we showed it to the owner's child...
嘿 是我 Madi Oh, it's me, Madi.
我现在在天堂了 I'm in heaven now.
很抱歉我死了 So sorry I died.
我好想你 I miss you so much.
我在这儿很开心 所以我不会回家了 I'm happy here, so I'm not coming home.
Madi说话不是那样的
- 是啊 她确实不是 - 没错 - No, she doesn't. - No.
没关系的 It's okay.
他讨厌狗狗的声音 He hated his dog's voice.
又一个计划泡汤了 Another flubbed idea.
最后 我最喜欢的点子不仅对生意有益 And lastly, my favorite ideas don't just help with business.
还能为社区带来好处 They're good for the community as well.
我带着一个新颖的设想来到一家酒吧 So I approached a bar with an innovative way
这个方法可以防止醉酒者酒驾 to stop drunks from getting behind the wheel.
具体内容是找一个街头魔术师守候在酒吧门口 The concept was to have a street magician stationed outside the bar,
表演魔术的时候趁机测量顾客的血液酒精浓度 performing a magic trick that allows him to secretly test the blood alcohol levels of patrons
就在他们要离开的时候 as they leave.
鉴于我有魔术方面的背景 我主动请缨进行试验 And with my background in magic, I offered to test it out.
我最后的表演需要用到你的钥匙 For my final trick, I'm going to need your keys.
- 我的钥匙吗 - 是的 - My keys? - Yes.
好极了 吹一下这根魔杖 Great. Give the wand a blow.
好 再使劲点吹 对准最上面 Okay, a little bit harder, right into the top.
好吧 你超过了法定标准 Okay, and you are over the legal limit.
- 好吧 - 血液酒精浓度 - Okay. - Blood alcohol.
所以你的钥匙消失了 So your keys are gone.
- 真牛 - 而且我不能把它们还给你 - Oh! - And I cannot give them back to you.
- 行吧 - 对不起 - Okay. - Sorry.
但就在那时我意识到了我计划的缺陷 But that's when I realized the flaw in my idea.
如果我拿走他的钥匙 然后他打车回家的话 If I held on to his keys and he took a cab,
这哥们就进不了家门了 the guy couldn't get into his apartment.
请问我能拿回我的钥匙了吗 Could I get my keys, please?
我不能给你 因为你喝醉了 I can't, because you're drunk.
请把我的钥匙还给我 Please give me my keys.
那种情况下唯一的解决办法就是开车送他回家了 And the only solution at that point was to drive him home.
你住得挺远的 You live far.
我知道啊 I know I do.
然后 把他送到家后 Also, once I got him home,
我又意识到在他睡着之前不能就这样把钥匙给他 I realized I couldn't just give him his keys until he was asleep,
否则他可能会再次开车出门 or else he might go out and drive again.
你要看着我睡觉吗 You need to see me sleeping?
我得看着你睡着了才能把钥匙安心还给你 I need to see you fall asleep before I leave your keys,
不然你可能会拿着钥匙再出门 or else you might take them and go out again.
你睡前都不刷牙的吗 You don't brush your teeth before bed?
一般不刷 Usually not.
我一般早上刷牙 I usually brush my teeth in the morning.
- 真的吗 - 是啊 - Really? - Yep.
我知道这听起来有点儿恶心 I know it's kind of gross,
但并没有人关心我的口气闻起来如何 but nobody else is really paying attention to the way my breath smells.
就这样 我不得不让他上床睡下 So I had to put him to bed
并确保他睡着了 and make sure he went to sleep...
*如果镜子打碎了* *And if that looking glass gets broke*
*妈妈会去给你买一只雄山羊* *Mama's gonna get you a billy goat*
然后我才把钥匙留下 before I left his keys.
所以 你们可以看到 So, as you can see,
即便是最伟大的思想家有时也会失败 even the greatest minds fail sometimes.
但今晚没有失败这个选项 But failing tonight is not an option.
耻辱之爪
距逃脱还有
除了我自身承受的风险外 Besides the risk to me,
还有十个纯真的孩子参加今晚的活动 there are ten innocent children participating in tonight's event,
这对我来说可不是件小事 and I don't take that lightly.
所以今天早些时候 我和他们的家长谈了谈 So earlier today, I spoke with their parents
告诉他们没什么需要担心的 to assure them they had nothing to worry about.
嘿 各位 你们好吗 Hey, guys. How's everyone doing?
- 很好 谢谢你 - 挺好的 - Great, thank you. - Great.
那就好 Good.
所以 在我们开始之前 So, before we begin,
我想先让你们放宽心 I just wanted to give you some assurances.
呃 我们会给你们的面部打码 Uh, we're gonna be blurring all your faces,
这样你们就不必担心 呃 同事们来问 so you don't have to worry about, you know, coworkers being like,
"你为什么为了一百美元让你的孩子做这种事" "Why did you let your kid do that for $100?"
或者 呃 比如被社区里的人问东问西啊 You know, or questions like that from, you know, the community or anything.
这个你们不用担心 You don't have to worry about that.
就这样 祝我好运吧 Okay, great. Wish me luck.
好吧 Okay.
现在我已经穿上了这件即将被机器人脱去的特制裤子 So I now have on the custom-made pants that the robot will be removing.
耻辱之爪
距逃脱还有
呃 我们会让这些孩子们 Um, you know, we're gonna give these kids
在表演开始前去趟洗手间 a bit of a bathroom break before I begin,
稍事休息 手铐逃生马上开始 but when we return, it will be the escape.
耻辱之爪
好的 我们现在准备开始 All right, so we're about ready to begin.
所有人都已撤出逃脱场地 Everyone has been cleared out of the escape area
只留下必要人员 besides the necessary people.
到场的有Billy Smalling警官 Officer Billy Smalling is here,
27年洛城警署执法经验
当然还有孩子们 obviously the children,
而Anthony Filosa法官也会做一些最后的检查 and Judge Anthony Filosa to do some final checks.
退休司法委员
我现在将把现场交给 I'm now going to hand over the reins
国家级体育比赛解说员 点金手Matt Smith to Matt "Money" Smith, national sportscaster,
他将实况讲解今天的表演 who'll be calling the event.
体育播音员
Matt 感谢你的参与 Matt, thanks for doing this.
感谢你的邀请 Nathan Well, thanks for having me, Nathan.
那你有什么想问我的吗 And do you have any questions for me?
我觉得再明显不过的一个问题是 Well, I think the obvious one is,
你为什么要这么做 why are you doing this?
你懂的 为了我的节目之类的 You know, for-- for the show and stuff.
嗯哼 Yeah.
好吧 我只是以为也许 Well, I-I just get the sense that perhaps--
我是说 你知道这件事会引起争议的 对吗 I mean, you know this is controversial, right?
是的 我明白 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- 好吧 祝你好运 - 谢谢 - Okay. Good luck. - All right.
- 不客气 - 谢了 Matt - All right. - Thanks, Matt.
现在 逃脱表演的序幕即将拉开 And with that, the escape is just moments away,
让我们再来了解一下Nathan Fielder其人 so let's learn a little more about Nathan Fielder.
Nathan生于1983年 Nathan was born in 1983,
是两名加拿大公务员Eric和Deborah的独生子 the only son of two Canadian civil servants, Eric and Deborah.
耻辱之爪
话说回今天晚上 Which brings us to tonight.
我们距离最终的大逃脱只剩几分钟了 And we are minutes away from the big escape,
而现在 and right now,
Nathan似乎正在和荣誉法官Filosa进行最后的交谈 it looks like Nathan is having some final words with the honorable Judge Filosa,
让我们听听他们的谈话 so let's listen in.
设置方面没有什么问题吧 So does everything look good in terms of the setup
应该足以被判猥亵露体罪了吧 for an indecent exposure conviction
如果 如果我今晚逃脱失败的话 if I-- if I fail tonight to escape?
呃 显然是这样的 Uh, apparently it does.
呃 Um--
很好 这就是我需要知道的了 Good. That's all I needed to know.
谢谢 接下来 Smalling警官 Thank you. And, Officer Smalling...
现在Nathan走向了Smalling警官 And now Nathan's stepping over to Officer Smalling,
他将会对表演用的手铐进行检查 and he is going to go ahead and inspect those handcuffs
确认其是否合乎标准 and make sure they are up to standard.
双重上锁 Double-locked...
Smith & Wesson牌警用手铐 Smith & Wesson police handcuffs,
和我们在警察学院里配备的一模一样 just like we were issued in the police academy.
好极了 钥匙就交给您了 Okay, great, and here is the key.
似乎一切都已经就绪 Well, everything seems to be in order,
现在Nathan走到了一台笔记本电脑前 and now Nathan is stepping over to a laptop,
他的父母正在视频连线的另一端等待和儿子交谈 where his mom and dad are standing by via Skype.
他们并不知道Nathan今晚的企划 And they don't know what Nathan has planned tonight.
嗨 你们好 Hi, guys.
但他想在上台前听听他们的声音 But he wanted to hear their voices before stepping to the stage.
我不知道你们能不能听见我说的话 I don't know if you can hear me,
呃 我即将要做一件很危险的事情 but, uh, I'm about to do something very risky,
所以下一次我和你们说话的时候 um, so the next time I talk to you
有可能就是隔着防弹玻璃了 might be behind bulletproof glass.
- 哦 天哪 - 为什么啊 - Oh, wow. - Why?
我现在不能跟你们详细解释 没有时间了 I can't really get into it right now. I don't have time.
但我只想对你们说我爱你们 But I just want to say that I love you guys.
还有就是 祝我好运吧 好吗 And, you know, wish me luck, okay?
Nathan 你在 你在搞什么啊 Well, Nathan, what are you-- what are you--
发生什么事了 What's going on?
爸妈 你们能听见吗 You guys? Can you hear me?
哈喽 Hello?
好吧 看来是网络连接中断了 Well, apparently a lack of an internet connection up here.
不知道他们是否听到了Nathan的话 Don't know whether or not they heard that message.
但无疑是肺腑之言 But heartfelt, nonetheless.
现在到了Nathan登台的时刻了 And it's time now for Nathan to make his way to the stage.
大家都在猜测 Nathan现在在想什么 You know, you wonder what's going on in Nathan's mind right now
以及是否无论做多少准备 and if any amount of preparation
都不足以应对他今晚所面临的压力 is enough for the pressure that he's facing here tonight.
Nathan现在已经就位了 Nathan now making his way into position.
Smalling警官正在把他拷在一个钢环上 You can see officer Smalling locking him into that loop,
这真是一个坚固的钢架 and that is a solid steel frame.
今晚来的这群小朋友都很可爱 Certainly an adorable group of kids brought in tonight.
真心不希望他们的夜晚以看到一个男人露体而告终 Certainly hope the night doesn't end with them seeing a man expose himself to them.
好的 现在Nathan已经被锁住 Well, now that Nathan's locked in,
工作人员将进行最后一遍检查 the crew gonna do one last look-over,
我们进一段广告 so we'll step away for a commercial,
广告之后 逃脱即刻开始 and when we return, the escape.
耻辱之爪
好的 欢迎回来 时辰已到 All right, we're back, and this is it.
舞台已经就绪 The stage is set.
Nathan有九十秒的时间从手铐里逃脱 Nathan has 90 seconds to free himself from those cuffs
并按下他右边的红色按钮 and hit that red button to his right.
这个按钮是一个撤销开关 The button is a kill switch.
它是唯一可以阻止机器人的程序动作 It is the only thing that can stop the programmed motion of the robot
并在孩子们面前脱掉Nathan裤子的装置 from taking off Nathan's pants in front of these kids.
现在他将宣读Filosa法官教给他的一句话 And now he will deliver the line given to him by Judge Filosa.
"这里可能会出事 就算真的出事了 那又怎样"
-荣誉法官Anthony Filosa
这里可能会出事 Something might happen here,
就算真的出事了 那又怎样 and if it does, so what?
说完这句话 他已经表明了露体的意图 And with that, he has established willful intent.
所以如果他今晚不当露体 So if he exposes himself tonight,
从法律角度看 这将不会被视为一场意外 in the eyes of the law, it will not be considered an accident.
预备 Ready!
距离露体还有
开始 Go!
九十秒倒计时开始了 机器人就在旁边 And the 90-second clock has started. There's the robot.
Nathan似乎从头发里摸出了一个针状物 Nathan appears as though he's pulled a pick from his hair,
而他正在试图用它打开手铐 and that is what he is working on those handcuffs with.
距离Nathan受到一辈子的蔑视只剩八十秒了 But we are 80 seconds away from a lifetime of scorn for Nathan.
现在机器人要去拉裤子的拉链了 Now the robot going to that-- that fly.
拉链已经拉开了 The fly is down.
在他继续撬锁的同时 And while he's working on the handcuffs,
机器人也在继续脱他的裤子 the robot continues to work on the pants.
扣子上的环已经被拉下 Loop on the button now undone.
余下不到六十秒 而机器人已经快完成一半的任务了 We're under 60 seconds and the robot is almost half way home.
他已经露出内裤上的第五个环扣了 You see he's exposed a fifth loop on the underpants.
孩子们都在笑 但是Nathan显然全无笑意 The kids are laughing but I can assure you Nathan is not.
只剩不到五十秒了 他的针掉了 Under 50 seconds and he's dropped the pick.
他抓到了吗 Did he catch？
针貌似是掉在他衣服上了 It looks like it's caught on his clothes.
他试着捡回那根针 他成功捡到了 And now he's trying to retrieve it. And he's got it.
用他的 真是太惊险了 Got it with his-- what a close call,
他是用舌头捡回了针 as he retrieves the pick with his tongue.
如果针掉在了地上 Had that fallen to the ground,
那他肯定就玩完了 it would have been all over.
下一个轮到他右腰上的环扣 Next is going to be the loop on his right hip.
情势愈发危急 This is getting tight here.
机器人现在已经脱下他两边的裤腰 The robot now has both pant legs down,
即将要对内裤上的环扣下手 is about to secure the loop on the underpants,
而Nathan依然在对付那副手铐 and Nathan's still working on those cuffs.
只剩二十秒了 We are just 20 seconds away.
Nathan还在撬手铐 Nathan working those handcuffs.
看上去随着外裤的脱落 It looks like with the pants down,
机器人的目标转向了内裤上的环扣 the robot's going for that underwear loop.
Nathan还没有逃脱 他只剩十秒了 Nathan has not broken free. We are under ten seconds.
机器人正在拉下环扣 The robot is pulling down.
我们只剩最后几秒钟了 We have just a couple seconds left.
哦不 已经能看到阴毛了 Oh, no, we are seeing pubic hair.
但是他逃脱了 But he has escaped.
Nathan Fielder成功逃脱了手铐 Nathan Fielder has managed to escape
及时避免了下半辈子被羞耻所折磨 and save himself from a lifetime of shame.
回放
我们来看一下回放 There's the replay.
这就是他撬开手铐 卡着点按下按钮的那一刻 The moment where he was able to pick the cuffs, hit the button just in time.
你可以看到他脸上难掩的宽慰 And you can see the relief on his face.
节目顾问
正如我们所看到的 Well, there you see it.
他承担了巨大的风险 而这一刻就是他的回报 He took on great risk, and now this, his reward.
法官和警官对他表示祝贺 Congratulations from the judge and officer.
- 干得漂亮 - 谢谢您 - Good job. - Thank you.
呃 是这样的 机器人脱掉了他的裤子 Um, so the robot pulled his pants down.
但他赢了 所以 But he won. So--
真的挺好玩的 It was really funny.
我很想看他的裤子掉下来因为会很好笑 I really wanted his pants to fall down 'cause it's hilarious.
我可能会感觉有点被冒犯 I would have been sort of offended
如果他的内裤也被脱掉的话 if it--if his underwear fell down,
但也就一点点吧 but not that much.
他按下了按钮结果内裤没有掉下来 He pressed the button, and then it didn't fall down.
我心想 "太好了" I was like, "Yes!"
内心高呼 "哈利路亚" I was like, "Hallelujah."
耻辱之爪
好的 在你们 在你们大家离开之前 Okay, before you guys-- before you guys leave,
记得要永远敢于冒险 remember to always take big risks
永远相信自己 and believe in yourself
并且像我刚才一样追逐梦想 and follow your dreams, just like I did.
你的梦想就是干这个吗
我的梦 没错 这是我的梦想 I dre--well, yeah, I did.
这是 这个梦想是关于 It was-- it was a dream of--
你们打断我的讲话了 You kind of talked over my speech.
好吧 算了 Okay. Fine.
我在这里交了好多新朋友 I made so many new friends up there.
但是我一直都很想你 However, I think about you all the time.
再见了 我爱你 Good-bye. I love you.
真希望我能为你多做些什么 I wish I could do more for you.
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