翻译: 柯希莫的枷锁 戮涩
校对: 愚蠢濑成一
今晚 咖啡行业正悄然酝酿一场争议 A coffee controversy is brewing tonight.
后期: 愚蠢满甲雪
洛斯菲利斯区一家新店起名叫"愚蠢星巴克" A new shop in Los Feliz is calling itself "Dumb Starbucks".
愚蠢星巴克 Dumb Starbucks.
压制: 肉包超人
愚蠢星巴克 Dumb Starbucks.
总监: 愚蠢盆子
愚蠢星巴克 Dumb Starbucks.
愚蠢 Dumb...
愚蠢星巴克 Dumb Starbucks.
这家店的起源和店主仍是个谜团 Its origin and owner are a mystery.
我叫Nathan Fielder My name is Nathan Fielder,
毕业于加拿大最顶尖的商学院之一 and I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools
学业成绩单
并且成绩优异 with really good grades.
如今 我运用我的学识 Now I'm using my knowledge
来帮助挣扎求生的小企业主 to help struggling small business owners
在这个竞争激烈的世界里获得成功 make it in this competitive world.
改造前
改造后
面包和糕点
改造前
改造后
面包糕点
这 This...
救援 高手
电波诚译
第二季 第五集
就是救援高手 is Nathan for you.
Elias Zacklin是太阳咖啡店的店主 Elias Zacklin is the owner of Helio Café,
一家位于加州东好莱坞的小咖啡店 a small coffee shop in East Hollywood, California.
他为自己与众不同的经营方式而感到自豪 And he prides himself on doing things a little bit different.
店里的环境不拘一格 The atmosphere's very eclectic.
太阳咖啡店店主
你不是一走进来就 You don't walk in and--
事实上 我的店里甚至没有菜单 Actually, there's even--not even a menu in my shop.
我是有意这样做的 And that's been done purposefully.
但世界上有家公司几乎已经将咖啡体验做到了完美 But in a world where one company has practically perfected the coffee experience,
逆势而行导致Elias的店里空无一人 going against the grain has caused Elias' shop to be empty.
于是我去拜访了他 So I paid him a visit
以传授一个让他终于能和大公司竞争的妙招 with a way for him to finally compete with the big players.
你的问题在于 虽然你的咖啡很棒 The problem with you is you have great coffee
但没人知道这个地方是什么 but just no one knows what this place is.
- 对 - 没人 - Correct. - No one--
你还没有建立为人熟知的品牌 You don't have a brand that people recognize.
没错 Absolutely.
但也许有一个捷径能获得品牌认知度 But maybe there's a shortcut to actually having brand recognition,
要用到一个叫做戏仿法的东西 using a little something called parody law.
戏仿法 Parody law.
怪异艾尔·扬科维奇 美国著名歌曲恶搞专家
使用者包括怪异艾尔·扬科维奇那样的艺术家 Often used by artists like "Weird al" Yankovic
还有<周六夜现场>那样的节目 and shows like Saturday Night Live,
塔吉特
戏仿法允许你使用商标和受版权保护的材料 parody law allows you to use trademarks and copyrighted material
百思买
只要你是用来开玩笑就行 as long as you're making fun of them.
所以如果Elias能找到一种方法拿星巴克开涮 So if Elias could find a way to make fun of Starbucks,
他就能毫无顾虑地将他们值钱的企业名称和商标挪为己用 he'd be free and clear to borrow their valuable corporate name and image for his store.
星巴克咖啡
计划:
计划是 将太阳咖啡店改造成世界上第一家恶搞星巴克 The plan: turn the Helio Café into the world's first parody Starbucks.
把太阳咖啡店变成 世界上第一家 恶搞星巴克
那该怎么去戏仿而不至于 So how do you make that a parody without it--
显得只是在模仿他们的品牌 You just not mimicking their brand?
比如 咖啡可以有"愚蠢大杯" "愚蠢超大杯" Like, the coffees could be "Dumb Grande", "Dumb Venti"...
- 噢 我懂了 - "愚蠢星冰乐" - Yeah, I got you. - "Dumb Frappuccino".
懂了 好吧 Gotcha. Okay.
总的来说 店名就可以干脆叫做"愚蠢星巴克" I mean, as a whole, the store could just be called "Dumb Starbucks".
没错 那真是 Right. That's--
好吧 我知道你的意思了 嗯 Okay, I see what you're saying. Right.
但"愚蠢"两个字可以印得小一点 But the "Dumb" could be small
客人会以为是真的星巴克而光顾 so people could come in thinking it's an actual Starbucks.
哈 挺聪明的 我只是不确定人们是否能理解 你懂吧 Huh. It's smart, I just don't know if people would get it. You know.
我不知道人们是否 就是 I don't know if people are, you know...
那人们理解你现在在做什么吗 Well, do people get what you're doing now?
- 你的店没那么受欢迎 - 是啊 - You're not that popular. - Right.
- 你连菜单都没有 - 是这样的 - You have no menu. - That's true.
我是说 你就试一试能失去什么呢 I mean, what do you have to lose by trying?
呃 我会失去什么呢 I mean, what do I have to lose?
我 事实上我也不知道 I... I don't know actually.
Elias同意了 但他还有一件很担心的事 Elias was on board, but he did have one major concern.
星巴克要是起诉的话我可绝对负担不起 I definitely could not afford a lawsuit from Starbucks.
绝对负担不起 Definitely not.
正当使用
基于我从维基百科上了解到的 Based off what I read on Wikipedia,
我的方法似乎是合法的 it seemed like my approach was legal.
正当使用及戏仿
但为了保险起见 But just to be sure,
我继续聘请并咨询了Peter J. Marx律师 I retained the services of attorney Peter J. Marx
以确保法律是站在我们这一边的 to guarantee we were protected.
"愚蠢星巴克"吗 "Dumb Starbucks"?
但"愚蠢"两字会比较小 But the "Dumb" would be smaller
所以人们仍然会认为这是家星巴克 so people would still think it's a Starbucks.
如果人们认为那是星巴克 你就有麻烦了 If people think it's a Starbucks, you've got a problem.
那样就不属于戏仿的范畴了 It's not really a parody then.
显然 我的法律依据并不如我想的那样坚实 Apparently, my legal footing wasn't as solid as I thought.
但随后Peter提出了一个挽救措施 But then Peter brought up one way I could cover myself.
假设你是一个著名的 呃 Let's say you had a reputation as being a--
呃 Yeah.
一个有大量戏仿经历的人 Someone who does lots of parody.
那人们自然会知道 噢 他只是在戏弄星巴克 Then they know, oh, he's just making fun of Starbucks,
因为他经常干这种事 because this is what he does.
那么我得成为一个戏仿艺术家喽 So I have to become a parody artist.
试试又不会怎样 It wouldn't hurt.
看起来我还有一些准备工作要做 It seemed like I still had some work ahead of me.
但离开前 我得确保我是受保护的 But before leaving, I needed to be sure I was protected.
那如果我做了这些事 星巴克就不能起诉我了吧 So if I do all this, then Starbucks can't sue me?
这里可是美国 This is America.
人们碰到屁大点事都会起诉 People file lawsuits at the drop of a hat.
但如果他们起诉了 你也有一定责任吧 But if they sue, you're liable too, right?
- 谁有责任 - 你 - Who's liable? - You.
- 我个人吗 - 对啊 - Me personally? - Yeah.
除非我卷入到 侵害 Not unless I'm involved in--in viola--
侵占他们商标的行为中 否则没有 in infringing their trademark, no.
但你之前签的出镜协议中有一条说 Yeah, the appearance release you signed before had a clause
如果星巴克起诉的话 你也会承担相应责任 that you would be liable too, if Starbucks sued.
我完全没同意这个条款 I don't agree to this at all.
我没同意承担法律诉讼的所有费用和赔偿金 I do not agree to pay all legal fees and damages from legal action
因为我无权控制播出内容啊 because I have no control over what's being released.
那你为什么要签字呢 Well, why did you sign that, then?
是 我是签了 Yeah, I signed it.
我签了是因为我没机会审阅 而且我以为 And I signed it because I didn't have a chance to read it and I thought--
但你是个律师 你签文件之前不先审阅吗 But you're a lawyer. Don't you read things before you sign them?
我通常会看啊 I do read things--
我是想要读的 但你让我快点拍 I try to read things but you wanted me to shoot
我就瞥了一眼 我承认这是我的疏忽 and I glanced at it and this was my mistake. I'll acknowledge that.
好吧 你已经签了 你现在可以还给我了 Okay. Well, you signed it so I guess you can give that back.
嗯 我是不会还给你的 因为我要 Well, I-I'm not gonna give it back because I'm going to--
我只是递给你看看 但你已经 Well, I handed it to you just to look over, but you already--
不 我是不会把它还给你的 No, I'm not gonna give it back to you.
坦白说吧 我在保护我自己还有你免受诉讼之苦 I'm protecting myself and, frankly, you from a nightmare.
但你已经签过字了 Well, you signed it.
我们用摄像机拍到了全过程 We have you on camera signing it.
所以这在法庭上仍然有效 So it still holds up in court.
你才没有用摄像机拍下来 You don't have me on camera signing it.
我们拍了 Yes, we do.
我算哪门子律师啊 签还没读过的鬼文件 What kind of lawyer am I? Signing sh*t I haven't read.
拍了就拍了呗 那你 那你就知道这些条款 Well, if you do, that's fine then you--then you'll know how the terms--
我要把它放进口袋里 I'm gonna put it in my pocket.
不 别把它放你口袋里 Well, no, we don't want it in your pocket.
我 就放在我口袋里吧 I--we do want it in my pocket.
拜托 拜托 你在我办公室里 Please. Please, you're in my office.
我是认真的 I'm very serious.
我不知道你是否真的只是为了节目效果而这样做 And I don't know if you're really trying to do this just for the show,
但我希望你从我办公桌上下去 并离开我的办公室 but I'd like you to get off my desk and I'm gonna ask you to leave the office.
Peter试图违背他签过的协议令我很失望 I was disappointed that Peter was trying to back out of the deal he signed,
但我们的制作人最终还是让他冷静了下来以继续拍摄 but our producers were eventually able to calm him down enough to keep shooting.
他们刚说他们要补拍一下这份文件的镜头 They just said they need to get a shot of the--an insert of the document.
就一个镜头 Like a shot of it.
它就呆在 就呆在我的口袋里 It's staying--it's staying in my pocket.
我是不会拿出来的 It's not going anywhere.
我们只需要拍一下这项条款的镜头 Well, we just need to get a shot of the clause for the scene.
- 我 我 - 文件里的条款 - I-I-- - In the document.
你可以拿着文件 You can hold on to it.
只要你拿出来就行了 对 Just hold it out like you'd had and then--yeah.
拿到这个摄像机这里 This camera needs to get it out here.
行了 我就这样拿着 Okay, that's how I had it.
然后你就可以 And then you can--
确保你拍到了 Just make sure you get an insert of the actual--
好吧 我要 我不知道你是不是在挑衅我 You know, I'm about to--I don't know if you're provoking me or not,
但我 我不会 我已经受够这场闹剧了 but I'm--I'm not-- I'm getting tired of this.
我不会为你的行为承担责任的 懂吗 I'm not gonna be responsible for your conduct, okay?
我试图让Peter分担责任的计划落空了 My plan to have Peter share liability didn't work.
所以我和Elias在他的指导下保护自己就显得尤为重要了 So it was more important than ever that Elias and I take his guidance to protect ourselves.
如果我们有当戏仿艺术家的经历 法律上说会对我们有利 It would just be helpful, legally, if we had a history of being parody artists.
好吧 Okay.
我告诉他我们只有两周时间来引起尽可能大的轰动 I told him we'd only have two weeks to make as big of a splash as possible.
我们得着手写一些可以在四处演出的歌曲 So we got to work coming up with some songs that we could perform around town.
人们最容易听出来的是滚石或齐柏林飞艇的歌 So the easiest thing that anyone would recognize is a Stones song, a Zeppelin song.
对 也许我们可以讽刺他们有多么过时 Yeah, maybe we could, like, skewer them for being old.
没错 Right.
恶搞歌曲<(I Can't Get No)Satisfaction> - The Rolling Stones
我不能勃起 但我不停在尝试 I can't get an erection, but I try, but I try.
或类似的东西 我也不太确定 Or something like that. You know, I don't know.
我们敲定了出道曲 完成歌词后 We had our first song, and after finishing the lyrics
我在当地一个开麦夜场订了个位子 I booked us a spot at a local open mic night
这样我们就可以在法律纠纷时站稳脚跟 so we could begin building our legal defense.
我和Elias是滚石乐队的忠实粉丝 Elias and I are big fans of the Rolling Stones.
但是呢 我们最近谈到他们时觉得 But, you know, we were talking lately and we thought
"你懂的 这些家伙有点过时了" 于是 "You know, these guys are kinda getting a little old," So...
*我不能 噢* *I can't get no-ho*
*勃 噢 起* *E-e-rection*
*我不能 噢* *I can't get no-ho*
*勃 噢 起* *E-e-rection*
我们第一场演出竟然还挺顺利 Our first performance actually went pretty well.
但表演完后 Elias提出了一些顾虑 But after our set, Elias expressed some reservations.
你对歌词感到不自信吗 Are you not confident in the lyrics?
是这里人太多让我感到不自信
好吧 Okay.
他太紧张了 没法再登台演出 He was too nervous to get on stage again.
于是又写了几首歌之后 So after writing more songs,
我只得自己一个人去接下来的开麦夜场了 I had to do the next open mic, on my own.
*我不怕* *I'm not afraid*
*抓我的蛋蛋* *To grab my balls*
*每个人* *Everybody*
*来抓我蛋蛋* *Come grab my balls*
*不要把钱花光* *Don't let the checks run dry*
*贵族们* *Royalties*
*今晚剃须* *Shave tonight*
*让我们把胡子刮光* *Let's get that beard all gone*
*好多胡茬* *Too much stubble*
*让我们把毛发刮光* *Let's get that hair all gone*
我以为演出还算过得去 I thought the show went okay,
但不幸的是 观众们不这么想 but unfortunately, the audience didn't agree.
我真的一点也不喜欢 I didn't really like that at all.
只能说不是我的菜 It's not really my cup of tea.
他简直烂透了 He's f**kin' sucked.
或许现在并不流行戏仿歌曲吧 Maybe musical parody just wasn't in style right now,
因为我上网搜了一下 根本没人提到我的作品 because when I looked online, no one was writing about my work.
无人发布"Nathan Fielder 戏仿"相关内容
"Nathan Fielder 戏仿"搜索结果
于是我打给Elias通知他计划有变 So I called Elias with a change of plan.
我在想 也许我们可以转向更视觉化的戏仿作品 I was thinking maybe, you know, we move into some more visual parody
然后办一个更正式的艺术展 and do, like, a more formal art show.
太不幸了 我现在很忙
但是 呃
你是说现在这不是你的头等大事了吗 Are you saying that this is not your priority right now?
还是别的什么意思 Or what are you saying?
其实 呃
这现在不是我最上心的事
Elias说他没时间来帮忙 Elias said he didn't have time to help.
但我知道这是我最后一次成为戏仿艺术家的机会了 But I knew this was my last shot to become known as a parody artist.
于是那一周剩下的时间我都在打造艺术品 So I spent the rest of the week generating art pieces
并在一个潮流街区订了一处画廊来展示我的作品 and booked a gallery space in a hip neighborhood to display my work.
我四处分发传单保证有足够的参观者之后 And after passing out flyers to make sure I had a crowd...
- 周五晚上七点是吗 - 对 - Friday night at 7:00? - Yeah.
我可以过去 I can make that.
我的艺术展准备好开始了 my art show was ready to begin.
Nathan Fielder -深思熟虑- 戏仿艺术展
最后润色了一番我的戏仿作品之后 After putting the final touches on my parody art,
我们便开门迎客了 we opened our doors
我立刻就看出人们非常喜欢我的作品 and right away I could tell people were digging my work.
美国总是热衷于战争 America being mostly about war
美国银行(Bank of America)和美国坦克(Tank of America)谐音
而美国银行只关心利润和金钱 我只是 and Bank of America being about profits and money as well, I just--
我还挺喜欢这个作品的 I actually like that one.
这个作品的含义其实是 你懂的 The meaning of this is actually just, like, you know,
你把钱存进银行 就会很安全 you put your money in the bank. It's really safe.
像一辆坦克 Like a tank.
好吧 Okay.
我只是好奇 在你看来是什么让这个作品值2500美元 I'm just curious, like, what in your opinion makes this piece worth $2,500?
你在其中投入了什么让它变得这么值钱 Like, what did you put into it that would make it worth that much?
伐木家伙 那些树怎么了?
恶搞电影<好家伙>
和我的歌不同 我的视觉作品似乎取得了我需要的效果 Unlike my songs, my visual pieces seemed to be making the impact I needed them to
因为人们真的把我当成了一个戏仿艺术家 as people were taking me seriously as a parody artist.
这个作品让我眼前一亮 我深有感触 Well, this catches my eye. Yeah, I feel this.
那晚我大获成功 The night was a success.
最棒的是 我现在有了证据可以证明 And best of all, I now had the evidence to argue
"愚蠢星巴克"只是我的另一件艺术品而已 that "Dumb Starbucks" was just another one of my art pieces.
但随着展出濒近结束 But as the show was winding down,
我却因为Elias根本没有露面而深感沮丧 I found myself frustrated that Elias didn't even bother to show up.
我为了帮助他的生意夜以继日地工作 I was working night and day to help his business
但他似乎一点都不关心 and he didn't even seem to care.
但我不会浪费这么好的主意 But I wasn't gonna let an idea this good go to waste.
于是第二天 我带着律师回到太阳咖啡店 So the next day, I returned to the Helio Cafe with my lawyer
把事情给拎清 to make things fair.
基本上 就我从Nathan这里了解到的情况是 Basically, as I understand it, what Nathan has related to me,
他为咖啡店的生意做了绝大部分的工作 is that he has done the lion's share of the work in setting up the business.
不只是创建概念 提出了这个主意 Not only creating the concept, coming up with it...
Peter接着说Elias将不再与"愚蠢星巴克"有关 Peter went on to say that Elias would no longer be a part of "Dumb Starbucks",
还有我会开一家自己的咖啡店 that I would be opening up a new shop on my own,
而Elias什么都得不到 and that Elias would be getting nothing.
你现在有什么问题要问我吗 Do you have any questions of me at this time?
不 我现在没有 现在没有 I--not--not at this time. Not at this time.
和Elias断绝关系后 After severing ties with Elias,
我终于可以不受他拖累继续前进了 I could now proceed without his dead weight slowing me down.
于是我在加州洛斯菲利斯区租了一家空的零售店 So I rented a vacant retail space in Los Feliz, California,
这将作为首家愚蠢星巴克的地址 that would serve as the location for the first Dumb Starbucks.
这让我想起我家的金属制品 This reminds me of the metal in my house.
- 你家有长这样的金属制品吗 - 是啊 - You have metal in your house like that? - Yeah.
噢 Oh.
紧接着就开始装修了 Construction began immediately,
而店面装潢至少要花一个星期 and it would take at least a week to build the shop.
所以与此同时 我在克雷格列表上发布了一条广告 So in the meantime, I posted an ad on craigslist
寻找有星巴克工作经验的咖啡师 seeking baristas with Starbucks experience.
在得到一些回应后 And after receiving some responses,
我约见了申请人以判断他们是否合适 I met with the applicants to see if they'd be a good fit.
当你和客人交流的时候 嗯 When you're interacting with customers, you know,
幽默感是很重要的 it's important to have a good sense of humor.
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
那么你有幽默感吗 Do you have a good sense of humor?
我觉得我有 Yeah, I think so.
那你来稍微演示一下呗 So, let's see some of that.
嗨 Hi.
嘿 你好 今天过得怎么样 Hey, how's it going? How's your day?
不错 一切顺利 Great. Yeah, it's going well.
一切顺利啊 天气怎么样 Going well? How's the weather?
- 你喜欢今天的天气吗 - 喜欢 - You enjoying the weather? - Yeah.
不错嘛 但我不喜欢 Yeah, that's cool. I'm not.
就是太热了 It's just too warm.
而且我还在发烧 And I'm getting over a sickness too,
所以比我能忍受的要更热 so it's even more warm than I'd like it to be.
- 挺有趣的 - 是嘛 谢谢 - That was funny. - Yeah, thanks.
Jeremiah非常适合这份工作 Jeremiah was perfect for the job.
我也雇了Amber 因为我和她似乎有很多共同点 I also hired Amber since we seemed to have a lot in common.
你觉得你最大的缺点是什么 What would you say is your greatest weakness?
我最大的缺点就是我人太好了 My greatest weakness is that I'm too nice.
真有趣 那 那恰好也是我最大的缺点 That's so funny, that's--it--that happens to be my greatest weakness too.
- 真的吗 - 真的 - Really? - Yeah.
就在离店铺开张不到一天的时间里 And with the store set to open in less than 24 hours,
我和我的员工们做了最后的润色 my crew and I put the final touches
尽可能让我的伪星巴克看上去和真的一样 on making my parody Starbucks look as authentic as possible.
不久之后 一切就绪 Before long, everything was complete.
在我给了Amber和Jeremiah工作制服后 And after giving Amber and Jeremiah their official uniforms,
我们进行了第一次员工培训会 we had our first employee orientation
主要是熟悉一些公司政策 to go over some company policies.
考虑到我们公司的规模 So because of the size of the company,
我也兼管本公司的人事部门 I am also the HR department here.
所以我们得过一遍行为准则 So we need to go over the code of conduct
和办公室恋情相关的规矩 when it comes to relationships in the workplace.
第一条 如果你开始和另一名员工约会 The rule of thumb is, if you begin dating another employee here,
必须上报给人事部门 it has to be reported to HR.
同样地 由于搞暧昧是件 Also, because sexual tension is
很容易让人在工作时分心的事 something that's very distracting in the workplace,
所以如果你被另一位员工所吸引的话 if you find yourself attracted to another employee,
也需要如实上报 that also needs to be disclosed.
嗯 Amber 你想先开始吗 Um, Amber, do you want to go first?
哇哦 好吧 Wow. Okay.
我想说 每个人都不一样 Well, I mean, everybody's different.
所以就我个人来说 吸引力不仅仅是 So, like, for me personally, attraction is more than just--
那么和你共事的人当中谁对你最有吸引力 I mean, who out of the people you work with are you attracted to the most?
老板也包括在内 Including bosses.
呃 天 Uh, wow.
好吧 我会 我会选你吧 Okay, I'm gonna--I'll go with you.
- 我吗 - 是的 - Me? - Yeah.
所以在所有和你共事的人当中 So out of everyone you work with,
我对你的吸引力最大吗 you're most attracted to me?
好的 你听到了吧 还是 Right. And you heard that, or--?
嗯 我听到了 听得很清楚 Yeah, I heard that. Yeah, loud and clear.
那对我来说 我也会选你 So mine, I guess would be you.
至于Jeremiah 没有人选你 And Jeremiah, I guess, no one picked you.
但是 呃 因为要备案我还是得知道 But, um, for the record I guess I do need to know
我们两个谁最吸引你 who you are most attracted to.
呃 Um.
她吧 Just say her.
- Amber吗 - 是的 - Amber? - Yeah.
好吧 呃 但很明显她选的是我 Okay, well, obviously, you know, she did pick me--
- 是的 我知道 - 所以你们之间是不会发生什么的 - Yeah. Yeah. - So that is unlikely to happen there.
但好在这些我都明确地知道了 But it's good that I do know that for the record.
而且既然我们都把话说明白了 And I think the fact that we've talked about it,
现在我们可以以同事的关系继续工作 now we can continue working as peers
而不会造成任何尴尬的局面 without there being any awkwardness.
行吧 Okay.
员工培训大会之后 After our employee orientation,
我带领Amber和Jeremiah参观了店面 I showed Amber and Jeremiah around the shop.
同时也让他们熟悉了愚蠢星巴克的所有咖啡品类 And got them acquainted with all the items Dumb Starbucks has to offer.
唯一剩下要做的事 The only thing left to do
就是向全世界揭开我们的新招牌 was unveil our new sign to the world.
- 准备好了吗 - 嗯 - Ready? - Yeah.
- 准备好了 - 好嘞 - Ready. - All right.
噢 Oh.
耶 好棒 Yay, all right. Yeah.
- 很不错 是吧 - 是的 - Pretty good, huh? - Yeah.
在此之后 愚蠢星巴克就正式开门营业了 And with that, Dumb Starbucks was officially open for business.
我们的商标展示出来后 我的计划也迅速见效了 With our sign now on display, my plan quickly began to work,
人们开始进店 as people started coming in
以为这是一家正牌星巴克 thinking it was an actual Starbucks.
- 噢 愚蠢星巴克啊 好吧 - 是的 - Oh, Dumb Starbucks. Okay, okay. - Yeah.
噢 你还以为这里是星巴克吧 Oh, you thought it was Starbucks.
是啊 I did.
但我们仅有的几个客人 But the few customers we did get
似乎没搞明白我们到底是干什么的 seemed to have trouble understanding what we were all about.
那你们店有
卖食物和饮料的营业执照吗
嗯 从法律角度来说 I mean, legally speaking,
这家店应该被看作是一个美术馆 this store has to be categorized as an art gallery,
所以我们不必像星巴克那样遵守同样的卫生条款 so we don't have to abide by the same health regulations as a Starbucks would.
但谁来担责呢 比方说
你们的食物不干净或者
这个嘛 我们并不想让我们的顾客吃坏肚子 I mean, we don't want any of our customers to get sick.
但如果他们真吃坏了肚子 严格来说 But if they do, technically,
那也属于艺术体验的一部分 that's part of the artistic experience.
好吧
生意一开始进展还不错 Things were off to an okay start.
但随着时间推移 我开始变得沮丧 But as the day progressed, I became frustrated
因为我们没达到我所预期的客流量 we weren't getting the amount of customers I expected.
于是我就跑到附近的一家咖啡店 So I headed out to a nearby coffee shop
去试着宣传下我新开的店 to try and spread the word about my new business.
- 您了解一下 街那边新开了一家愚蠢星巴克 - 好的 - Just so you know, there's a Dumb Starbucks that's opened up down the block. - Okay.
好吧 Okay.
基本上是同样的咖啡 但更便宜 It's basically the same coffee. Cheaper prices,
- 愚蠢星巴克吗 - 还有 是的 - Dumb Starbucks? - and... yeah.
今天去 你们就能享受到一杯免费咖啡 Today, you know, you can have a free coffee on me.
我理解你是在宣传你们的公司 I understand you're trying to promote your company.
- 没错 - 我尊重这一点 - Right. - I admire that.
- 没问题 但你不能在星巴克的地盘上这么做 - 我也尊重你 好 - But that's great. You can't do it on Starbucks' property. - And I admire you. Okay.
- 我会 - 而且每次我往后退 - And I will be-- - And every time I step back,
- 你就会往前走一步 - 没有 我动都没动啊 - you keep taking a step forward. - No, I haven't moved.
- 你动了 我们一开始是站那的 - 我 我会 - You have. We started over here. - I, I will be--
不啊 我们一开始就站在这 No, we started right here.
- 你 但你得从那边离开 - 好的 我会的 - You, but you need to walk that way. - I will be--okay, I will.
不幸的是 我的营销策略夭折了 Unfortunately, my marketing efforts were cut short.
但至少我还是搞到了一些免费的咖啡用品 But I was at least able to get some free supplies.
这样业绩平平的开业日 With an underwhelming launch day,
让我开始觉得我所有的努力都付诸东流了 I began to feel like I put in all this effort for nothing.
但第二天早上一切都改变了 But the next morning things changed.
Jeremiah打给我说店里排了支超过十五人的队伍 Jeremiah called me to say there was a line of over 15 people at the store.
然后我发现我店铺的照片被发在了 Then I saw photos of my shop posted
一家直男健身论坛的留言板上 on a straight bodybuilding message board.
但我完全没预料到接下来发生的事情 But I couldn't have foreseen what happened next.
一家打着熟悉招牌的咖啡店 A new coffee shop with a familiar name
在洛杉矶引起了不小的轰动 creating quite a stir in Los Angeles.
这家咖啡馆 听好了 叫作愚蠢星巴克 The coffee shop--get this--is called Dumb Starbucks.
看起来就和星巴克一模一样 That looks exactly like a Starbucks.
商标啊 字母啊 还有绿色的配色啊 The logo, the lettering, the green coloring.
他们是如何逍遥法外的 How do they get away with this?
因为他们在星巴克上面加了"愚蠢"这个词 Because they put the word "Dumb" on top of Starbucks,
所以这是在戏仿星巴克 so they're parodying Starbucks.
一家靠状告模仿者而臭名昭著的连锁咖啡店 A coffee chain notorious for suing imitators
可能终于遇上了它的对手 may have finally met its match.
在前台 顾客可以点一杯"愚蠢超大杯" At the counter, customers can order a "Dumb Venti"
或者买一张"愚蠢诺拉·琼斯二重奏"的唱片 or buy a CD of "Dumb Norah Jones Duets".
有些人甚至排队等了多达一个小时 Some people waited in line for up to an hour.
咖啡在这个美术馆里充当着艺术品的角色 It's an art gallery where coffee is considered art.
这件艺术品的意义在哪呢 它想传递什么讯息呢 What's the point of the art? I mean, what's the message?
我也不知道 I don't know.
我震惊了 I was stunned.
我做梦也没想到客人会这么多 We had more customers than I ever dreamed of.
愚蠢星巴克在短短一天内就成了全球大热 And within 24 hours, Dumb Starbucks had become a worldwide sensation.
嗯 这绝对是有艺术价值在的 Yeah, there's absolutely artistic value here.
对我来说 这是一种抗议 To me, this is, this is a protest.
这是一种对行业巨头的抗议 This is a protest against the big fish.
类似星巴克的那些垄断者们 The leviathans of Starbucks.
从一家纯粹为了赚钱而存在的生意中 It was cool that people could draw their own meaning
人们能解读出各自的意义实在是很酷 from a business that was just there to make money.
班克西 世界上最有才气的街头艺术家之一
有传言说这可能是班克西的杰作 There's a rumor that it might be Banksy
我们对此都非常兴奋 and we're all really excited about that.
我无意间创造出来的东西 I had inadvertently created something
竟然能和世界上最伟大的艺术家之一相提并论 that was on par with one of the world's greatest artists.
这可以算作是一种装置艺术 Something tied to an art installation.
或许是出自班克西之手 Maybe this is Banksy.
不一会儿 我店里的杯子就在易趣网上卖到了五百美元一件 Before I knew it, cups from my shop were selling on eBay for $500 a piece.
而且竟然还有骗子想借着这股热潮捞一把 And swindlers were even trying to cash in on the hype
在店外面出售赝品 by hocking fake merchandise outside the store.
那周结束的时候 By the end of the weekend,
我意识到愚蠢星巴克这个点子比我预期的还要有前景 I realized that Dumb Starbucks was a bigger idea than I ever thought it could be.
所以我召集了全球的媒体 So I gathered the worldwide media
宣布我们要扩展业务的消息 to announce that we were expanding.
嗨 Hi.
我很自豪地宣布我们很快就要 I'm proud to announce that we'll soon be opening
在纽约布鲁克林开第二家愚蠢星巴克了 a second Dumb Starbucks location in Brooklyn, New York,
而且就在两周之内 within the next two weeks.
我的生意不仅大获成功 My business was not only a bona fide success,
而且这还是我人生第一次 but for the first time in my life
体会到被人们主动簇拥的感觉 it felt like people actually wanted to be around me.
无论我做了什么 都在世界范围内产生了共鸣 Whatever I had done resonated with the entire world.
而人们的关注就像是洒在我灵魂上的阳光一般 And the attention was like sunlight on my soul.
我整个营销计划的关键就在于 My entire marketing plan depended on
借用他们的商标来博取关注 using their corporate logo to get attention.
而唯一合法的做法就是加上"愚蠢"这个词 And the only way to legally do it is by using "Dumb".
美国每一家主流公共台都想知道我的故事 Every major network in America wanted to know my story.
Nathan Fielder Nathan Fielder.
我所向披靡 I was invincible.
而且我得承认 俯视一切的感觉真好 And I have to admit, the view from the top was pretty nice.
我们的糕点也非常有名 We're also famous for our pastries.
- 我其实还给你带了些 - 噢 好哇 - I brought you some, actually. - Oh, okay.
- 哇 太棒了 - 一些我们的糕点 - Yeah, great. - Of our pastries, yeah.
哇 看起来很棒的样子 Oh, the--those look great.
这些叫什么名字 What do you call these?
- 这些就是那什么 - 我还带了松饼 - Are these those-- - I brought muffins too.
- 这些是我们出名的糕点 - 瞧瞧 真够怪的 - These are our famous pastries. - Look at that. Isn't that weird.
这一面还贴着Vons超市的价签呢 It says Vons on the side.
我笑得合不拢嘴 整个人都轻飘飘的 I was all smiles and my head was in the clouds.
然后突然就被拽回了冰冷的现实 Then all of a sudden, reality hit.
一家叫作"愚蠢星巴克"的咖啡店 A coffee shop called "Dumb Starbucks"
本周末突然出现在洛斯菲利斯区 现已停业 that popped up in Los Feliz this weekend is now closed.
洛杉矶卫生部门昨日关停了愚蠢星巴克 The Los Angeles health department shut down Dumb Starbucks yesterday
因为它没有正规的营业执照 because it did not have proper permits.
此刻 愚蠢星巴克的未来不容乐观 Right now, the future of Dumb Starbucks isn't clear.
被卫生部门关停是能发生在我身上最糟糕的事情了 Being shut down by the health department was the worst thing that could happen to me.
我面临着失去一切的风险 I was at risk of losing everything.
然后我意识到也许我并没有想象中那么了解 And I realized that maybe I knew less about running a coffee shop
如何经营咖啡店 than I initially thought.
但后来我想到有一个我认识的人 But then I remembered, there was one person I knew
知道如何帮我摆脱这一困境 with the knowledge to get me out of this.
我能够做些培训 也有买咖啡豆的渠道 I can do the training and I can source the beans.
卫生部门会过来审核经营计划 The health department will have to come in, do a plan check.
- 好的 - 这我可以搞定 - Okay. - That I can do.
当我回去找Elias寻求他的帮助时 When I returned to Elias to ask for his help,
他却不想和我有任何瓜葛 he wanted nothing to do with me.
所以你认为我们 我们不是朋友了 而且我们不 So you think we're--we're not friends and we're not--
我的朋友是不会雇律师来找我签合同的 My friends don't hire lawyers to come and sign contracts.
我以为 我还以为我们是朋友或者 I thought--I thought we were friends or--
但我的朋友不会有相机 聚光灯 律师 But my friends don't have cameras and lights and lawyers.
或者制作人 And producers.
那不是建立一段友谊的方式 That's not how you establish a friendship.
Elias的话像成吨的砖块砸中了我 Elias' words hit me like a ton of bricks.
在那一刻 我意识到在创立愚蠢星巴克的过程中 And in that moment, I realized that in building Dumb Starbucks,
我变成了我绝不想成为的人 I became someone that I never wanted to be.
我的最初目的是帮助一家挣扎求生的咖啡店获得声誉 I began all this trying to help a struggling coffee shop gain recognition.
而在我试图做到这点的慌乱过程中 And in my scramble to make things work
我把自己放在了第一位 I put myself before my fellow man,
一次又一次 time and time again.
最后 我得到了我所梦想的一切 In the end, I got everything I could have ever dreamed of.
但如果在通往成功的路上要不断地伤害他人 But what does success mean if the road that got you there
就算成功了又如何 is paved with broken hearts?
人们常说魔鬼是一个艺术家 They say that the devil is an artist.
如果真是这样 那么也许我就是他最伟大的艺术品 And if that's so, then maybe I was his greatest piece yet.
所以与其和卫生部门抗争 So rather than fighting the health department,
我决定是时候了结愚蠢星巴克了 I decided it was time for dumb starbucks to end.
去纠正每一个错误也许不大可能 It may have been impossible to right every wrong,
但开始做正确的事永远不会太迟 but it wasn't too late to begin doing what was right.
Jeremiah 我现在同意你 Jeremiah, I'd like to give you my blessing
去追Amber 如果你想要这么做的话 to pursue amber, if that's what you want.
至于后续如何 就随缘吧 And whatever happens after that, happens.
哇哦 好吧 Wow. Okay.
带给人们快乐才是我的真正使命 Bringing people joy is my true calling.
我可能失去了用我预想的方式去帮助太阳咖啡店的机会 I might have lost my opportunity to help the Helio Café in the way I intended.
但全世界的目光仍聚焦在我身上 But with the world's eye still on me,
我至少能够让他们去关注最需要关注的地方 I could at least draw their attention to the place that needed it the most.
被卫生部门勒令停业 想喝咖啡可以去 太阳咖啡店
电波字幕组 欢迎您的加入 官方网站:www.dbfansub.com 新浪微博:@电波字幕组
*准备去把浴室门关上* *Going to close the bathroom door*
*因为我们只需要一把剃刀和一些泡沫* *'Cause all we need is a razor and some cream*
*你和我 还有一对刀片* *You and me and a couple of blades*
*今晚共享丝滑肌肤* *We'll have smooth skin tonight*