翻译: 惨绿青年 一滑 比比鸟
校对: pendz
我叫Nathan Fielder My name is Nathan Fielder,
后期: pendz
毕业于加拿大最顶尖的商学院之一 and I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools
学业成绩单
并且成绩优异 with really good grades.
压制: 肉包
如今 我运用我的学识 Now I'm using my knowledge
来帮助挣扎求生的小企业主 to help struggling small business owners
在这个竞争激烈的世界里获得成功 make it in this competitive world.
总监: pendz
这 This
救援 高手
电波诚译
第三季 第三集
就是救援高手 is Nathan For You.
如果你需要搬家 If you need to move to a different house,
或许你会给天使之城打电话 you might call City of Angels,
这是一家很有前途的搬家公司 an up-and-coming moving company
服务于洛杉矶地区 that serves the L.A. Area.
不过 最近老板David Sassounian But lately, owner David Sassounian
发现盈利出现了困难 has been finding it hard to stay profitable
因为他这行的劳动力成本不断上涨 with the rising cost of labor in his industry.
对于我们来说 毫无疑问最贵的成本就是雇员 For us, our most expensive cost is our employees, for sure.
天使之城搬家公司老板
但在花时间观察David的搬家工人之后 But after spending some time watching David's movers,
我觉得或许一个很简单的方案 I realized there might be a simple solution
就可以解决他的所有问题 to all of his problems.
于是我去拜访了他 看看能不能帮上忙 So I paid him a visit to see if I could help.
你的工人们相当健康呀 Your movers are very in shape.
对 我的伙计们都很健康 Our guys are in shape, yeah.
我的意思是 搬抬这些箱子啊家具啊 I mean, lifting all those boxes and furniture.
是一种很好的健身方式 That's a great way to get fit.
对 伙计们能得到极大的锻炼 Yeah, the guys are getting a great workout.
他们总是能得到很好的锻炼 They're always getting a great workout.
这就对了 And that's the idea.
你看 在美国 平均每位健身者 You see, the average gym member in America
每年要花费超过七百美元来进行体力劳动 spends over $700 a year to perform physical labor.
这跟David的雇员们的工作 That's very similar to the work
十分相似 that David's employees do.
所以如果我们能够拿出令人信服的理由 So if we can make a convincing argument
全新锻炼方式！ 健身！ 减肥！ 保证有效
来证明把箱子和家具从这家搬到那家 that moving boxes and furniture from house to house
是一种比去健身房更好的锻炼方式 is a better workout that going to the gym,
David就可以享有无穷无尽的劳动力 David could tap into an endless supply of labor
反过来付给他钱 that would actually pay him
以求搬运物品的机会 for the opportunity to move stuff.
计划:
将搬家工作 打造成美国的 下一个健身狂潮
人们一般不会花钱去 People don't usually pay to work...
给别人干活 for somebody else.
我觉得会有很多人来找你 I think you'll get a lot more people
如果他们认为这仅仅是一种锻炼的话 if they just think it's a workout,
只要我们不告诉他们 and we don't tell them
他们实际上在做免费的劳动力 that they're actually doing free labor.
这只是我个人的意见 I mean, that's just my opinion
作为一个深谙营销的人士 as someone who knows a lot about marketing.
我不知道 I don't know.
我不知道我能不能说服别人做这个 I don't know if I can convince people to do that.
David半信半疑 David was skeptical
但还是同意给我一次机会 but agreed to give me a chance
来证明这个方案能奏效 to prove that this would work.
然而 掀起一股健身热潮 Launching a fitness craze, however,
将不是一件容易的事 would be no easy task.
我对这方面知之甚少 I didn't know much about this stuff,
但似乎每一种风靡的健身方式 but it seemed like every popular workout
都有一位魅力非凡的人士作代言 was based on a charismatic figure
他就是健身效果活生生的例子 who's a living example of what the workout can do.
我知道我相当有魅力 I know I'm charismatic,
况且健身营销法又是我的主意 and since the workout was my idea anyways,
我以为由我来当模特再简单不过了 I thought it would be easiest if I just did it.
但在看了我拍的宣传图之后 But after reviewing the promotional images I took,
我意识到我的身材不适合 I realized I just didn't have the body
扮演一个令人信服的健身专家 to be a convincing fitness authority.
所以我让我的监制们去了当地的一场健身大会 So I sent my producers to a local fitness convention,
他们找到了一位专业的健美运动者 and they found a professional bodybuilder
他似乎很有感兴趣做代言人 who seemed interested in being a spokesperson.
所以那周晚些时候 我把他带到了我的办公室 So later that week, I brought him to my office
看他是否能不能胜任这份工作 to see if he could impress me enough to get the job.
我虽然年纪大了 但是看着我 I'm older, but watch me.
健身运动者
瞧瞧我 Look at me.
我的体力可以胜过你 I can outperform you.
我能 我看上去跟你一样年轻力壮 I can--you know, I look just as good as you do.
我觉得这是一次宝贵的教学机会 I see this as an opportunity really for me to teach.
Jack说的都没错 Jack said all the right things,
但我真正在意的是他的身材 but what I really cared about was his body.
是 你有 Yeah, you've got--
看起来你似乎身材不错 seems like you've got a good bod.
- 谢谢夸奖 - 嗯 - Thank you. - Yeah.
Jack得到了这份工作 Jack got the job.
由于他这份代言人的工作至关重要 And because his role as spokesman would be so crucial,
我为他准备了一份详尽的合同要他签署 I prepared an extensive contract for him to sign.
如果你去世了 In the event of your death,
我们将保有你的姓名权 肖像权 we have the rights to your name, likeness.
可以 当然 Sure, sure.
- 还有DNA - 可以 - DNA as well. - Okay.
这条 你能接受吗 Is that...are you comfortable with that?
- 嗯 可以 - 好的 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay.
可以接受 That's fine.
有了Jack当代言 With Jack on board,
我给他预演了一下我的设想 I walked him through my concept
一项名为"搬运运动"的全新锻炼方式 for a new workout called The Movement
这项运动的内容就是搬运箱子和家具 that would consist entirely of moving boxes and furniture
从一个地方搬到另一个地方 from one location to another.
我计划将Jack包装成 My plan was to position Jack
这项运动背后的权威专家 as the guru behind this workout
希望能让人们相信 in the hopes I could convince people
他这惊人的体格 he got his amazing physique
完全是靠搬家具用品练就的 solely from lifting household items.
神态丰富一点 Let's see some attitude.
很好 Beautiful.
为了能够真正地推销这个概念 And to really sell this idea,
我雇了一位胖版的他 I hired an obese look-alike
来假扮减肥之前的Jack to pose as Jack before he lost the weight.
现在"搬运运动"有了挂名领袖 Now that The Movement had its figurehead,
我还需要一本他的自传来为他立名 I wanted to legitimize Jack with his own book.
所以为了尽快完成这项工作 So to get the job done quickly,
我联系了一位代笔人 I contacted a ghostwriter
你需要为你即将到期的项目找写手吗 我可以帮你 详情请联系我
他在Craigslist网登出了服务广告 who advertised his services on Craigslist
我将他邀至我的办公室 and invited him to my office
看看他是不是这项任务的正确人选 to see if he was right for the task.
我要找的这个人 What I'm looking for is someone
他要懂得很多健身方面的知识 who knows a lot about fitness.
- 好的 - 你可以吗 - Okay. - Is that you?
自由写作人
没问题 Yes.
你知道 出于对我工作的负责 You know, for my own due diligence,
我需要确认你是一个优秀的写手 I need to know you're a good writer
才能雇用你 对吧 before hiring you, obviously.
嗯 Yeah.
那你现在能不能想一个原创的句子 So can you come up with an original sentence right now
然后让我听听 and tell it to me?
呃 可以 Um...Okay.
好了 Okay.
呃 烛光跃动 世界静止 Um, the candles flickered, the sheets were still,
房间内只有罗曼和肯绮之间的氛围在慢慢延伸 but all the energy in the room surrounded Roman and Kenzie.
肯绮向前迈了一步 Kenzie stepped forth and...
轻触罗曼的臂膊 gently touched Roman's arm.
突然间 他双腿无力 颤抖着倒下了 He suddenly felt weak in his legs and trembled and fell
犹如利刃伤及了他的阿基琉斯之踵 as if his Achilles heel had been struck by a blade,
而这不过是女人的轻抚而已 but all it was was simply a woman's touch.
哇 Wow.
这句子很不错 That was a good sentence.
谢谢 Thank you.
- 很显然这本书会更偏健身方面 但 - 嗯哼 - Obviously this book would be more fitness, but... - Yeah.
Austin似乎是写书计划相当不错的人选 Austin seemed like a pretty good fit for the project,
所以我尽可能为他提供了 so I gave him as much information as I could
关于这种健身方式及其创始人Jack的信息 about the workout and its founder, Jack.
他年轻的时候干过什么 What did he do when he was younger?
- 小时候吗 - 对 - As a child? - Yeah.
有些事我不知道 Some things I don't know,
你要做的就是自行填补一切空白 and you're just gonna have to fill in the blanks yourself.
- 好的 - 嗯 - Okay. - Yeah.
那就没事了 All right then.
Austin开始写书了 With Austin off to write the book,
我便设计了书的封面 I had a cover designed,
突出强调了Jack练成这样的体格 highlighting the fact that Jack got his body
仅仅是通过搬运箱子和家具 only from moving boxes and furniture
我如何不去健身房 也能练成如此身材
并且他这辈子从来没有去过健身房 and that he'd never been to a gym in his life.
但问题是 实际上 The problem was, in reality,
Jack会很认真地去健身房 Jack goes to the gym religiously.
我一周有六到七天都会去健身房 I'm in the gym six to seven days a week.
在"搬运运动"即将问世的节骨眼上 With The Movement about to go public,
我不能冒险让Jack出现在健身房 I couldn't risk Jack being seen at a gym,
否则我们就会被曝光成骗子 or else we'd be exposed as a fraud.
所以我给他布置了一个私密的健身空间 So I set up a private workout space for him,
这样他就可以秘密地保持身材 so he could maintain his body in secret.
你觉得靠这些能保持肌肉吗 So you think this will work to maintain those muscles?
如果这是 我必须做的事的话 If this is, you know, what I have to do,
呃 我可以 我会努力做到的 uh, I can-- I'll make it work.
好的 那 你要锻炼了吗还是 All right, well, you gonna have a workout or--
当然 Sure.
好 呃 All right, uh...
祝你玩得尽兴 Have fun.
我对计划推进有了信心 I felt confident moving forward
毕竟我们的秘密不会被暴露 now that our secret was safe,
并且我很欣慰 and I was thankful that
Jack对"搬运运动"如此尽心尽力 Jack was so committed to The Movement.
几天之后 And a couple days later,
Austin带着完成的书回来了 Austin returned with the completed book.
史蒂芬·乔布斯 Steve Jobs?
没错 Yeah.
我曾是他的儿时玩伴之一 I was one of his childhood friends.
哦 好吧 Oh, okay.
虽然Austin自由发挥 Austin had taken a few liberties
创作了Jack的人生经历 with Jack's life story,
第九章 狒狒
但这也有助于达成我的目的 but for my purposes it would work.
所以我火速刊印了许多份 So I rushed published a bunch of copies
并把它们寄给了全州的各家媒体机构 and mailed them to media outlets throughout the state
希望我能引起一些媒体的兴趣 in the hopes I'd get some interest.
幸运的是 And as luck would have it,
我们很快就取得了需要的重大突破 we soon got the big break we needed.
我可以把他安排在5号周日的周末早间秀，这样方便吗？
- 我有一些激动人心的消息 - 好啊 - So I have some exciting news. - Okay.
全州最受欢迎的早间新闻秀之一 One of the most popular morning news shows in the state
想让你去谈谈"搬运运动" wants you to talk about The Movement
明早现场直播 live on air tomorrow morning.
哦 好啊 Oh. Okay.
哇 Wow.
你感觉怎么样 How do you feel?
我感觉 呃 I felt, uh--
我感觉好像 我感觉一阵快感席卷了我 I felt like a-- I felt a rush go right by me.
这太了不得了 I mean, that is phenomenal.
你应该也知道 Just so you know too.
- 我给了他们这本书 - 好的 - I gave them this book... - Okay.
我找写手杜撰了你的人生经历 That I had ghostwritten about your life.
嗯哼 Mm-kay.
很显然 这个作者对你一无所知 Obviously the author didn't know anything about you.
- 嗯 - 所以他适当地编造了一些事 - Right. - So he kinda made some stuff up.
好 Okay.
书中似乎讲了很多 It seems like a big part of it
你和史蒂芬·乔布斯的童年时光 is how you were childhood friends with Steve Jobs.
你知道史蒂芬·乔布斯吗 So...do you know Steve Jobs?
史蒂芬·乔布斯 当然 Steve Jobs, yes.
呃 他 他是微软的 Uh, he--he's the Microsoft--
- 苹果公司 - 苹果公司 没错 - Apple. - Apple, right.
- 对 - 对 - Yeah. - Yeah.
总而言之 你可能要在明天之前 So anyways, yeah, you might want to read it over
把它读完 了解一下你的经历 to get a sense of what your life is like before tomorrow.
好的 好的 Okay, okay.
后面几章其实讲的是 In the later chapters, it actually says
你花了很多时间做志愿 you spend a lot of time volunteering
帮助丛林小孩 with jungle children.
虽然我不知道这是什么意思 但你可能要提一嘴 I don't know what that is, but you might want to bring it up,
因为观众朋友们喜欢 because audiences love someone
回馈社会做慈善的人 who gives back and is charitable.
好的 我会 Okay, I'll be able to--
大家想听什么 我就说什么 I'll tell them, you know, what they wanna hear.
您正在收看 You're watching
圣迭戈六台早间新闻 San Diego 6 News In the Morning.
欢迎回来 Welcome back.
虽然现在还是春天 但夏天已经不远了 We are in spring, but we're always looking ahead to summer.
如果你希望能减掉几斤体重 And if you're looking to lose a couple of pounds,
现在有一种免费的方法 we have a free way to do it
只需要用到家里已有的物品 with things that are already in your home,
而且我们保证它能起作用 and we have proof that it works.
我们将为您介绍一个人 We're gonna introduce you to someone.
来看看这张减肥前的照片 Come in here and look at this before picture.
这是以前的Jack Garbarino This is Jack Garbarino before--
这是减掉约90斤体重之前的Jack This was Jack about a hundred pounds ago.
- 现在让我们揭开庐山真面目 - 要揭晓了 - Now let's have you the grand reveal. - The big reveal.
- 这是Jack现在的样子 - 你好 - This is Jack now. - Hello.
你现在看起来怎么样 Jack How great do you look now, Jack?
我看起来不错 感觉也挺好的 I look great, I feel great.
我像是重获新生 I feel a renewed person.
我身形健美 我是战斗机器 I'm lean and mean, and I'm a fighting machine.
出演晨间新闻的效果好极了 The news appearance couldn't have gone better.
接下来的几周里 And over the next couple weeks,
Jack出演了整个地区各种晨间节目 Jack made appearances on morning shows throughout the region.
我们下一位嘉宾减重九十多斤 Our next guest lost more than one hundred pounds
却从未走进健身房 and never stepped foot in a gym.
只靠移动箱子和家具 Can you lose a hundred pounds
你能减掉九十斤吗 just by moving boxes and furniture?
有个人说这是有可能的 One guy says it's possible.
看看这个男人 他减掉了九十多斤 Look at this man, he lost over a hundred pounds,
现在他要跟我们分享一些健身小贴士 and now he's sharing his fitness tips with all of us.
- Jack - 很高兴来到这里 - Jack-- - Good to be here.
你就是一部励志史 You're a story of inspiration.
是的 呃 没错 那个人是我 Yes, um-- Yeah, that was me.
你看我曾经是一个胖油桶 I mean, you can see that I was a fat tub of lard.
然后 And, uh--
只有你能这么说 我不能 'Cause you can say it. I can't.
你还遇到过史蒂芬·乔布斯 And you also came across Steve Jobs.
- 是的 - 你是怎么见到他的 - Yes. - How did you meet him?
我和他从小玩到大 Well, I grew up with him as a child.
不会吧 No kidding.
他是我小时候最好的朋友 He was my best friend as a child.
你和史蒂芬·乔布斯还有联系吗 Were you able to keep that friendship with Steve Jobs
好让他看到你努力奋斗之后的样子 so he could see what you were motivated to eventually become?
其实他还没见过这个身材的我 You know, he never saw me really at this fit.
我们有保持联系 但是 We kept in touch, but--
就是这样 非常简单 That's it, simple as this.
我有做一些慈善工作 I do work, charity work...
是吗 Okay.
帮助丛林小孩 With jungle children.
丛林小孩是什么意思 Jungle child is what?
丛林小孩就是 Yeah, jungle children are
住在丛林里的孩子 children that live in the jungle.
前一阵子我在帮助一个丛林小孩 A while ago I was working with a jungle child.
他的名字叫Dendy His name was Dendy.
他给了我很大的鼓舞 He was a great inspiration for me.
但不幸的是 他惨死了 And unfortunately, tragically he died
他被狒狒绑架吃掉了 when baboons kidnapped and ate him.
这其实是我人生中 It was actually one of the worst days
- 最难过的日子 - 在哪儿发生的啊 - of my life. - Where is this?
Jack结果是一名 Jack turned out to be
非常有说服力的代言人 an extremely compelling spokesman,
他的宣传做得非常到位 and he was really hitting our message home.
搬运运动 注册可获得一次免费高强度锻炼
在我看来 健身房代表着"把你的钱给别人" In my opinion, gym stands for "Giving your money away."
我从来没去过健身房 Never been to a gym in my life.
我这辈子从来没有踏进健身房 Never stepped foot in the gym in my entire life.
我能练成这样仅靠搬箱子和家具 I got this body by simply just moving boxes and furniture.
如果我能做到 大家都能做到 If I could do it, anybody else could do it.
注册 你就能看到我们 Sign up and you can see what we're doing
用于帮助全国人民的服务 to help people around the country.
很好 你身材太棒了 Good work. You look amazing.
- 非常感谢 - 嗯 - Thank you very much. - Yeah.
没过多久 And before long,
请求信如潮水般涌入"搬运运动"邮箱 the movement inbox was flooded with requests
都是些想要试一试的人 from people wanting to try the workout.
于是我回到天使之城 So I returned to City of Angels
并说服David在下一次搬家时 and convinced David to let us do our first workout
让我们开展第一次锻炼活动 on one of his upcoming moving jobs.
终于得到机会证明我的想法 With an opportunity to finally prove my concept,
我非常兴奋 I was excited,
但就在那时 我发现了一个棘手的问题 but that's when I made a troubling discovery.
当我顺道去仓储室的时候 When I stopped by the storage unit,
我发现留给Jack的水没有任何 I noticed that none of the water we had left for Jack
动过的痕迹 had been touched.
一开始 我以为这是因为他会自己带水喝 At first, I thought he might just be bringing his own water,
但在我让店员帮我查了出入记录之后 but when I had the clerk check the gate access records,
我意识到他可能从来没有 I realized he might not have been going
去过他的私人健身房 to his private gym at all.
我没看到任何 I don't see any--
任何报告显示有人进入 any report that shows it was accessed.
这可不妙 This wasn't good.
我有严重的信任问题 I have major trust issues stemming from
是小时候一个与性无关的事故造成的 a non-sexual incident that happened when I was a child,
所以不知道是不是我多疑了 so I didn't know if I was just being paranoid.
但如果Jack还是去以前的健身房 But if Jack was still going to his old gym
却对数百万观众说着相反的话 after saying otherwise to an audience of millions,
我们整个锻炼计划的可信度 the credibility of our entire workout
将会大打折扣 would be shattered.
我这辈子从来没有踏进健身房 Never stepped foot in a gym in my entire life.
我不能冒险让这个人 I couldn't risk letting this guy
毁了我创造的一切 destroy everything I had created,
于是我拜访了一位 so I paid a visit to a private investigator
以前共事过的私家侦探 I'd worked with in the past
帮我调查Jack是否遵守了约定 to help me find out if Jack was honoring our agreement.
我想请你帮我监视 I want you to help me keep tabs on
私家侦探
和我共事的一个健身模特 a fitness model that I'm working with.
好的 男的还是女的 Okay. Male or female?
- 男的 - 男的 好的 - Male. - Male, okay.
我想继续聊正事 I wanted to stay on task,
但聊着聊着就跑偏了 but the conversation got sidetracked
Brian开始吹嘘自己也当过模特 as Brian started bragging that he too was a model,
照片刊登在八十年代的几本杂志上 who had appeared in a couple of magazines in the '80s.
然后突然一下子 And then all of a sudden,
我就从这本杂志开始到那本杂志 it just went from that magazine to that magazine and--
- 什么杂志 - 是<阁楼杂志> - What magazine? - It was "Penthouse Magazine."
- 哦 <阁楼> 抱歉 - 很多年前 - Oh, "Penthouse," Sorry. - Yeah, years ago.
很多 很多 很多年前 Years, years, years ago.
- <阁楼>是色情杂志 - 不是 - "Penthouse" is porn. - It's not.
只不过全程有人给你拍照片 仅此而已 Only time is when he's taking photos of you. That's it.
你还和一个超级漂亮的美女在一起 You know, you're with a gorgeous woman.
所以说你是全裸出镜的咯 So you're fully nude in it?
不是 其实看不太清楚 Nah, can't really see much.
但你在插入吧 But you're penetrating?
插入 你看不见的 Penetrating, you can't see.
- 那就是色情杂志了吧 - 不 不是的 - That's porn, right? - No, it's not.
甚至和色情都挨不上边 不是 Not even close to being porn, no.
只不过是当一个男模 All it is, is just being a male model
和另一个女模一起拍照而已 and taking photographs of you with another woman,
非常有品位 非常专业 very tasteful, very professional,
- 但你的阴茎是勃起的 - 没有其他什么的 - But your-- your penis was erect. - nothing.
是啊 当然是了 Yeah, of course it was.
当你见到一个漂亮的姑娘 When you got a nice-looking girl--
- 而且你还光着身子 - 你还光着身子 对 - And you're naked. - And you're naked, yeah.
那你管这叫啥 But what do you call that?
什么意思 你管啥叫啥 What do you mean, what do you call that?
这种模特 That type of modeling.
呃 娱乐 Um...entertainment.
成人娱乐模特 You know, adult entertainment modeling.
好吧 Okay.
等到Brian吹嘘完 Once Brian was finished bragging,
我跟他详细说了一下对Jack的怀疑 I filled him in on my suspicions about Jack.
他说自己每天都要锻炼 所以如果他 He says he works out every day, so if he's going--
他当然必须要靠锻炼才能有那样的身材 Obviously he has to work out to get that kind of body.
Brian也认为事情说不通 Brian agreed that something wasn't adding up
提议进行秘密监视 and recommending a covert surveillance.
于是第二天一早 So early the next morning,
他在百思买停车场接我 he picked me up in a Best Buy parking lot.
开始吧 Let's do it.
我们去了Jack生活的街区 And we headed to the neighborhood where Jack lives,
就停在他家前的街上 parking just down the street from his home.
我们就坐在这儿等 We just sit here and wait.
我们就这样 That's what we do.
经过两小时的等待 After two hours of waiting,
Jack依然没有出现 Jack still hadn't emerged,
但我一定要坚持到底 but I was determined to stick this out
无论多久 as long as it takes.
那是女的 That's a woman.
是的 Yep.
不是色情杂志 It's not porn.
- <阁楼>吗 - 不 那不是色情杂志 - "Penthouse"? - No, it's not porn.
我觉得那就是色情杂志 I think it is porn.
色情是性交或者口交 Porn is when you're having intercourse or fellatio,
二者之一 one of the two.
但你确实和一个女人在一起 But you were with a woman.
是啊 Yes.
所以意味着你拍了色情照 And so that means you did porn.
没有插入 No penetration.
我只希望我当初能等久一点 I just wish I waited a little bit longer
等到小孩再长大一点 till the kids got a little bit older.
为什么 Why?
因为离婚 'Cause divorce is--
因为孩子们还太小而且他们 'cause the kids were young and they were--
一个高中毕业要上大学了 One was out of high school and going to college,
还有两个在念高中 and the other two were in high school.
我只想等最小的孩子 I just wish that the little one
念完高中 was out of high school.
你知道 有些人不想等时机合适 Some people, you know, don't want to wait it out,
因为他们觉得 你懂的 'cause they figure, you know,
自己要浪费五年的生活 they're wasting five years of their own life.
"我需要离婚" "I need to get out."
我们为自己的孩子牺牲太多 We do too much for our children.
在等待五小时后 After five hours of waiting,
我快打算放弃了 I was about ready to give up,
就在那时Jack终于出现 but then Jack finally emerged.
那是他 That's him.
出发吧 Let's go.
带上墨镜 Put your glasses on.
好 开始行动 Okay, let's do it.
我们正在进行代号五行动 We're on a code five right now.
这叫代号五 移动监控 It's called a code five, mobile surveillance.
- 他在那 - 右转 - There he is. - Right turn.
- 我看见他了 - 做得好 - I see him. - Good job.
孤山大道 Lone Hill Ave.
在药店短暂停留之后 After making a quick stop at a drug store,
我希望他就会回家 I was hopeful he would just be heading back home,
但令人失望的是 Jack有其他的打算 but unfortunately, Jack had something else in mind.
- 他要去那里 - 等等 - This is where he's going. - Wait, wait, wait.
卷腹健身馆 Crunch Fitness.
情况不妙 This wasn't good.
Jack显然没有像我希望的那样认真对待 Clearly Jack wasn't taking our business arrangement
我们的工作约定 as seriously as I had hoped.
这男的骗了你 The guy lied to you.
他毫不尊重你 He has no respect for you.
一点也不 None.
我惊讶地发现 I was shocked to discover
Jack一直在背着我去他常去的健身房 that Jack had been going to his regular gym behind my back.
我需要赶快处理这件事 This had to be dealt with quick.
于是第二天 我约他在仓储室见面 So the next day, I had him meet me at the storage locker
质问他我看到的情况 to confront him about what I saw.
所以 你觉得我们的秘密健身房怎么样 So, uh, how's our secret gym been working out for you?
挺有效的 不错 It's working out okay, yeah.
里面会有些热 It gets a little hot in there.
得进去健身然后再出来 Gotta get the workout and come out--
你懂的 大汗淋漓地出来 you know, come out nice and drenched.
- 嗯嗯 - 嗯 - Mm - hmm.
听着 Jack 我知道你没有来过这儿 Look, Jack, I know you haven't been coming here.
我知道你还在去你常去的健身房 I know you're still going to your regular gym.
嗯 好吧 Mm-hmm, mm-kay.
这是真的吗 Is that true?
是的 Yes.
被逼无奈 With his back against the wall,
Jack承认了这个仓储室对他来说没用 Jack admitted that the storage unit didn't work for him.
我没法在这个健身房好好锻炼 I--I can't get a good full workout in this--this gym.
幸运的是 我准备了一个妥协方案 Fortunately, I had come prepared with a compromise
让他可以去任何想去的健身房锻炼 that would allow him to work out at any gym he wanted.
依我来看 你能去健身房的唯一方法 The way I see it, the only way you can go to your gym
- 就是伪装 - 好吧 - is in disguise. - Okay.
所以 你认为你可以这样做吗 So do you think this is something that can work for you?
可以 我会 Yes, I'll--
我可以这么办 I can put it to work.
每个人都满意了 Everybody was happy.
在告诉Jack接下来的六个月我都会 And after telling Jack that I'd be secretly watching him
秘密监视他之后 for the next six months,
我有信心他会照计划行事 I could now be confident that he'd stick with the plan,
我们的秘密不会暴露 and our secret would be safe.
谢谢 Thank you.
既然Jack归队了 With Jack back in line,
我联络了一些渴望参与"搬运运动"的人 I reached out to our list of eager movement participants
希望你能来参加我们的免费高强度锻炼
给其中三人订了我称之为 and booked three of them for what I described
免费高强度锻炼的活动 as a free workout intensive.
但实际上 这些人是要参与 But in reality, these people were showing up
我和David约好的真正的搬家工作 for the real moving job I had scheduled with David.
嗨 大家好 Hey, everyone.
我先问你们一个问题吧 So I'm gonna start by asking y'all a question.
你们准备好通过"搬运运动" Are you guys ready to change your life
改变生活了吗 with the movement workout?
准备好了 Yeah.
还有什么给他们加油的方法 And what better way to pump them up
比Jack的鼓励演讲更好呢 than with an inspirational speech from Jack?
我减掉了九十多斤的体重 I lost over a hundred pounds
仅仅通过搬盒子和家具 just by moving boxes and furniture.
如果我能做到 你们也可以 If I could do it, you could do it.
现在让我们开始搬东西吧 Now let's get started and let's start moving.
很棒 Great.
- 谢谢你 Jack - 谢谢 谢谢 - Thank you, Jack. - Thank you, thank you.
你让我们倍感鼓舞 You're truly an inspiration to us all.
我的荣幸 谢谢 Pleasure, thank you.
好的 All right.
现在Jack激励并鼓舞了这组人 Now that Jack had inspired and energized the group,
我给每个人发了团队运动服 I handed each of them their matching team workout wear
然后出发去客户家 and headed to the client's home
让他填好必要的书面工作 to have him fill out the necessary paperwork.
现在终于可以看看这三个陌生人 Now it was finally time to see if these three strangers
能不能免费完成整项搬运工作了 would complete an entire moving job for free.
你们今天要做的是全身锻炼 What you'll be getting today is a full-body workout.
在这间房子里 我准备了一堆家具和箱子 So in this house, I've prepared a bunch of furniture and boxes
由你们搬进这个卡车 for you to move into this truck.
明白了吗 Got it?
我们会被计时吗 Are we timed on this?
有没有时间限制 Is there a certain time limitation?
目标是搬得越快越好 The goal is to move as fast as you can,
因为我们还需要有氧锻炼 because we want a cardio workout too.
嗯 好的 Mm, okay.
接着 他们开始行动了 And with that, they began.
哇 这里有好多东西 Whoa, there's a lot of stuff.
说实话 To be honest,
我之前还有点担心 I had my doubts going into this,
但他们不仅快速搬走了客户的东西 but not only were they efficiently moving the client's stuff,
让我惊讶的是 这个小组好像真的 to my surprise, the group actually seemed
在享受他们的锻炼 to be enjoying their workout.
我以前也帮朋友搬过东西 I mean, I've helped friends move before,
搬运运动参与者
但我从没把它当成锻炼 but I never thought of it as a workout.
如果你这样做 可以锻炼肱二头肌 So if you go like this, you'll get a bicep workout
- 如果你这样弯曲 - 好的 好 if you do curls. - Right, right.
你这里有感觉到吗 Do you feel that here?
- 有 可以 - 好的 - Yeah, I do. - Yeah.
他们显然都相信了Jack贩卖的那个梦想 It became clear they had all bought into the dream that Jack was selling
仅仅两个半小时后 And after only two and a half hours,
卡车就装满了 the truck was all loaded up.
有点难的是解释 It was a bit of a challenge to explain
为什么我们需要到另一个房子去卸东西 why we needed to go to a second house to unload.
我们做完一半了 We're halfway there,
但下个部分是最关键的 but this next part is the most crucial part
因为你们的肌肉可在疲惫之下获得锻炼 because your muscles are training during exhaustion.
不过看来他们对Jack锻炼方式的信任 But it seemed like their faith in Jack's workout
让他们愿意继续干活 gave them the will to keep going.
她真有干劲 There she goes.
整个搬运过程花了五个小时 It took five full hours to complete the move,
但这些人从来没有觉得 but these people did it without ever thinking
自己其实在做工 it was actual labor.
随着所有东西都从卡车上卸下 And with everything unloaded from the truck,
我祝贺了我的团队完成他们的第一次锻炼 I congratulated my team on finishing their first workout
然后让他们走了 and sent them off.
搬家任务完成了 The moving job was complete,
虽然房主有点小意见 and even though the homeowner had a few minor complaints...
他们对待箱子和物品的方式 The way they handled the boxes and stuff,
我说 他们不是专业的 I said, they're not professional.
感谢你的反馈 Well, I appreciate that feedback.
我觉得这很对 I think that's really smart.
他终于同意这项工作完成了 He eventually agreed to sign off on the job.
我并不是在故意为难你 I'm not trying to give you a hard time.
没关系 No, it's okay.
每个人的性格都不一样 Everyone has a different personality.
这意味着我的构想很成功 And that meant my concept was a success.
于是第二天 我找到David So the next day, I returned to David
向他介绍了他今后需要雇佣的唯一员工 to introduce him to the only employee he'll ever need.
这是Jack Garbarino This is Jack Garbarino.
- 你好Jack 我是David - 你好 很高兴认识你 - Hey, Jack. I'm David. - Hi, pleasure to meet you.
- 很高兴认识你 - 很高兴认识你 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
是他的努力和付出 And it's his hard work and dedication
让搬运锻炼成功的 that really made this workout happen.
好的 Okay.
所以你什么时候需要新的搬运工 So anytime you need new movers...
好 Okay.
Jack可以上新闻 Jack can go on the news,
对全美国的人说谎 lie to everyone in America,
你就可以得到一群新的工人 and you'll get a fresh batch of people
愿意免费搬家 ready to move houses for free.
- 这太好了 - 是啊 - That's great. - Yeah.
谢谢 好 随时准备工作 Thanks. Yeah, ready to roll.
好 那我就让你们俩接手了 All right, well, I'll leave you two to take it from here.
谢谢 Thank you.
不客气 All right.
好 所以 你是我的新老板 Yeah, so, um, you're my new boss.
我的责任是出去做宣传 So my job is to be out there to promote.
我可以上广播新闻 向公众宣传 I can do news broadcasts and be out in the public.
我可以开研讨会 或者 I can do, you know, seminars or, uh--
对了 我认识乔布斯 You know, I know Steve Jobs.
他 你知道的 他去世了 He, you know, he passed away,
苹果公司的创始人 founder of Apple.
我很高兴David有了他一直想要的免费劳动力 I was happy that David now had the free labor he'd always wanted.
另外知道Jack会按照约定完成工作 And knowing that Jack was holding up his end of the bargain,
我可以确定"搬运运动"的未来不会有差池 I could be sure that the movement's future was secure.
但还有一件事 But there was still one more thing
我需要处理 that I had to take care of.
我刚刚找出了字典上对色情作品的定义 I just pulled up the dictionary definition of pornography.
"印刷或影视作品中" "Printed or visual material"
"露骨地描述或展示" "containing the explicit description or display"
"性器官或性行为" "of sexual organs or activity."
你是不是刚刚谷歌的 You just Googled this, right?
对 这是字典给的定义 Yeah, that's the dictionary definition.
"印刷或影视的" "Printed or visual..."
好吧 那确实是印刷品没错 Okay, it was printed, for sure.
难怪我父母他妈的对我那么生气 No wonder why my parents were f*cking so mad at me.
嗯 Hmm.
"我这辈子都没进过健身房" "I have never been to a gym in my life."
我从未去过健身房 I have never been to a gym before.
"这辈子都没有" "Never in my life."
这辈子都没有 Never in my life.
"我甚至从未进门" "I haven't even walked in the door"
"看一眼" "to look around."
我甚至从未进门看一眼 I haven't even walked in the door to look around.
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