神烦警探 第4季第8集
BGM:Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
牙买加一种流行音乐
同名连锁餐厅的创始人
前NBA球星 长期效力于纽约尼克斯队
BGM:Bonecrusher - Never Scared
《魔戒》中的人物 造型与刚才那人相似
五分钟后
十分钟后
二十一分钟后
四十分钟后
爱荷华州位于美国中部
常用于总统竞选宣传中的句子
英国美妆品牌
畜产学学者、畅销作家
真不敢相信 他们竟然在抛光地板 I can't believe they're waxing the floors
我们倒被困在这里 and we're all stuck in here,
我从来没见过他们干这个 I've never seen them do this before.
他们一个月弄一次 They do it once a month,
只是我们以前没上过夜班 We've just never been on the night shift.
我知道 搞得好像我们在受罚一样 I know, It's like we're being punished.
我们就是在受罚啊 因为去了趟佛罗里达 We are, for going to Florida.
你们话太多 我都没怎么听 Oh, I don't listen to so much stuff you all say.
坦白讲 我很同情你们 Well, frankly, I pity the lot of you.
你们眼中看到的是麻烦 You look out there and see a problem,
而我 看到的却是机会 I look out there and see an opportunity.
我要利用这光滑的地板 I'm gonna slide on that slippery floor
从霍尔特的办公室一路滑到电梯口 all the way from Holt's office to the elevator.
你要来个办公室大漂移吗 You're going to do the FBP?
没错 罗莎 That's right, Rosa,
我要挑战办公室大漂移 I'm doing The Full Bullpen!
走起 Here we go.
? 我们共同打造这个梦想 ? And we can build this dream together
? 永远坚定地在一起 ? Standing strong forever
? 没有什么能把我们阻挡 ? Nothing's gonna stop us now
? 就算世界变成爱的荒漠 ? And if this world runs out of lovers
? 我们仍然彼此拥有 ? We'll still have each other
? 没有什么能把我们阻挡 ? Nothing's gonna stop us
? 此刻 没有什么能把我们阻挡 ? Nothing's gonna stop us now
不 No!
不 我停不下来啦 Oh, no! I can't stop!
挑战成功 The Full Bullpen!
九五分局那帮蠢货 Those chuckleheads from the Nine-Five
上个电视就跩得二五八万的 are getting all cocky just 'cause they're on TV.
谁还没上过本地新闻啊 朋友 Uh, we've all been on the local news, fellas.
你办的哪件案子上过新闻 Okay, Which case of yours was on the news?
准确来说并不是案子 Well, it wasn't exactly a case.
斯卡才是我人生的意义 Ska defines who I am as a person,
我永远不会抛弃斯卡 and I will never turn my back on ska.
走 Hup!
回望过去 我毫不后悔 Looking back, I have no regrets.
- 你应该后悔 - 喳 - You should. - Yup.
九五分局为什么会上电视 So why are the Nine-Five on the news?
他们正在调查 They're investigating death threats
一个叫DC.帕洛的作家收到的死亡威胁 against some author named DC Parlov,
谁他妈知道是个什么人 as if anyone knows who the hell that is.
DC.帕洛 你是说DC.帕洛吗 DC Parlov? Did you say DC Parlov?
- 怎么了 - DC.帕洛 - What is happening? - DC Parlov
是当代最具影响力的作家 is the most influential author of our time.
《天火》系列丛书 "The Skyfire Cycle!"
是用编年史描述战争的十二部巨著 天空与沙漠 12 books chronicling the war between sky and sand,
云层与岩石 萨博斯蒂人和... clouds and rocks, the Sepsidians and...
就是像《权力的游戏》那种吗 Oh, so it's like a "Game of Thrones" type thing?
错 是《权力的游戏》像《天火》才对 No, "Game of Thrones" is a "Skyfire" type thing!
你给我放聪明点 Get your head out of your ass!
- 就是 放聪明点 伯耶尔 - 很抱歉 - Yeah, come on, Boyle. - I'm so sorry, guys.
在我尚年幼的时候 When I was a little kid,
我对那些书爱不释卷 I spent hours reading those books.
小泰瑞真没料到会这样 Little Terry did not see that coming.
当时我又胖又孤单 I was overweight and lonely,
就给DC.帕洛写信寻求建议 and I wrote DC Parlov for advice,
结果他给我寄了这个 and he sent me this!
希望不是一颗首级 I hope it's not a severed head.
《天火之环 之 瓶中落沙 之 卡拉之审判》 "The Skyfire Cycle: Sand Into Glass: the Reckoning of Ka'Lar",
艾玛 这本书真厚 Man, that is a long book.
是不是整本书都是书名 Is the rest of it just more of the title?
这本书是整个故事的开端 It's the book that started it all.
你们再听听他写的题词 And listen to the inscription he wrote.
"泰瑞 你绝不是孤身一人 "Terry, you do have friends.
不妙 Oh, boy.
"你还有我 千万要记得 这一生 "You have me, Never forget that in this life,
我们要书写自己的人生 帕洛" we write our own stories, Parlov."
就这样 And that's what happened.
小泰瑞书写了自己的人生 Little Terry wrote his own story.
小泰瑞变得好有型 Yeah, Little Terry got buff-a!
小泰瑞心理健康起来了 Little Terry got emotionally healthy.
对 而且还浑身腱子肉 Yeah, and ja-a-acked.
知道吗 You know what?
他的确浑身腱子肉 He did get jacked.
好样的 小泰瑞 Way to go, Little Terry.
胸大肌来啦 Big pecs coming through!
棒棒哒 There we go.
我要把那个案子夺过来 必须让泰瑞见到他偶像 I'm going to get us that case. Terry's gonna meet his hero.
别 千万别见偶像 Oh, no, never meet your heroes.
玛丽·凯琳德可贱了 Marie Callender was a real bitch.
快看 我们组成功地 Oh, check it out. Our squad has doubled
让夜班逮捕人数翻了番 the number of arrests on the night shift.
嗯 没人在乎 好吗 Yeah, no one cares, okay?
我要跟你谈谈这次伯耶尔家庭旅行 I need to talk to you about this Boyle family vacation
我妈非逼我参加 that my mom's forcing me to go on.
为什么要去爱荷华的"没力救援" Why is it in Butt Thumb, Iowa?
不对 正确读法是"美丽家园" No, it's pronounced "Beaut-hume,"
爱荷华是伯耶尔一族的祖籍地 And Iowa is the ancestral homeland of the Boyle clan,
我非常期待你能认识所有亲戚 I am so excited for you to get to know all of the cousins.
要当心谢尔曼 Watch out for Sherman.
为他伤过心的姑娘排成行 He's left a trail of broken hearts
比他的马尾辫还长 longer than his ponytail.
伯耶尔 拜托 我们能不能去个度假酒店 Boyle, can we please just go to a resort
去一个我不用见到你家人的地方 where I don't have to see your family?
阿鲁巴岛有一家就很不错 There's a great one in Aruba.
阿鲁巴岛 Aruba?
伯耶尔家的人不喜欢海滩 Boyles don't do beaches.
我们并不擅长游泳 我们擅长挖洞 We're not swimmers. We're burrowers.
好啦 知道啦 你们都是蚯蚓 Yes, I know, you're all earthworms,
可是 查尔斯 就算自然界最令人恶心的生物 but, Charles, even nature's most disgusting creatures
也应该享受快乐 来阿鲁巴岛吧 deserve pleasure. Come to Aruba.
抱歉 亲戚们已经投票并全票通过了 Sorry, the cousins voted and it was unanimous.
我们要去爱荷华 那个帐篷都租好了 We're going to Iowa. We've already rented the tent,
一个帐篷吗 "Tent" singular?
查尔斯 一个帐篷吗 Charles, "Tent" singular?
迪亚兹 桑提亚戈 Diaz, Santiago,
凯文和我发生了点口角 帮忙解决一下 settle a little tiff that Kevin and I are having.
真诚一点吧 雷蒙德 不是口角 是争吵 Let's be honest, Raymond, it's not a tiff, it's a row.
现在成了当众出洋相了 And now it's a scene.
没关系 长官 我们并不想 It's okay, sir, we don't want to get involved
掺和你的私人生活 in your personal life.
这不是私人问题 是个数学问题 It's not personal, It's a math problem.
- 妈呀 - 下一题 - Oh, Mama, - Pass.
托夜班的福 昨晚 Raymond and I had dinner together last night
雷蒙德和我两周以来第一次共进晚餐 for the first time in two weeks, thanks to the night shift.
而凯文觉得用一道无聊的数学题 And Kevin thought it would be fun to spoil our date
来破坏约会很有趣 更别说他的答案还是错的 with an inane math problem, to which his answer is wrong.
铺垫已经够多了 赶紧切入正题 Enough foreplay, let's get to the numbers.
是蒙提霍尔悖论 想象你在参加一个游戏节目 It's the "Monty Hall problem". Imagine you're on a game show.
有三扇门 其中一扇门后面是一辆车 There are three doors, behind one of which is a car.
你说的不对 You're telling it wrong.
有三扇门 其中一扇门后面是一辆车 There are three doors, behind one of which is a car.
你选好一扇门 You pick a door.
知道车在哪里的主持人 打开了另一扇门 The host, who knows where the car is, opens a different door,
让你看到门后空空如也 showing you there's nothing behind it.
现在 主持人问你是否想选择 Now the host asks if you'd like to choose
另外一扇没打开的门 你换吗 the other unopened door, Should you do it?
- 不换 - 换 - No. - Yes,
多简单的数学题 It's simple math.
换门毫无意义 It doesn't make any sense to switch.
大奖在两扇门其中一扇背后 The prize is behind one of two doors.
无论怎么选 都是一半一半的概率 It's a 50/50 chance either way.
如果换门概率就是三分之二 不换是三分之一 It's 2/3 if you switch, 1/3 if you don't.
你做出选择后才能确定概率 The probability locks in when you make the choice.
我们已经为此争执过八次了 We've been over this eight times.
七次 Seven times.
这下你连简单的加法都不会了 Now you can't even do simple addition.
凯文是对的 Kevin is right.
你被解雇了 You're fired.
什么 What?
警长 超级好消息 Hey, Sarge, great news.
九五分局的人把DC.帕洛的案子给我们了 The guys at the Nine-Five gave us the DC Parlov case.
没什么大不了的 你不用感谢我 No big deal, you don't have to thank me.
- 还回去 - 不客气哦 - Give it back, - You're welcome.
- 慢着 什么 - 这样不好 杰克 - Wait, what? - This is a bad idea, Jake,
我并不想见他 I don't want to meet him.
啊 我知道了 见到偶像让你很紧张 Oh, I see, You're nervous to meet your hero.
我懂 有一次我在熟食店遇到帕特里克·尤因 Look, I get it, One time I saw Patrick Ewing at a deli,
我太紧张了 差点就逃走了 and I was so scared I almost left,
但是我没有 我鼓起勇气 but I stayed, I worked up my courage,
走向他并且做了自我介绍 I walked over to him and I introduced myself,
你知道他对我说了什么吗 and you know what he said to me?
"嘿" "Hey".
- 就这样吗 - 那可是帕特里克·尤因 他很忙的 - That's it? - It's Patrick Ewing, he's busy!
要把人往好处想嘛 警长 Give him the benefit of the doubt, Sarge.
别这样 你没这么胆小 Come on, you're braver than this.
告诉他 他写给你的留言有多重要 Just tell him how meaningful the note he wrote you was.
人们很愿意知道自己改变了别人的人生 People love knowing that they changed someone's life.
要不我为啥为你做这件事呢 I mean, why do you think I'm doing this for you?
这跟我没关系啊 This isn't about me.
不 No.
那都是三十年前的事了 That was 30 years ago.
他不会记得的 而我会很难堪的 He won't remember, and I'll feel silly.
好吧 我们马上就会知道答案了 Well, we're about to find out.
帕洛刚刚走进来了 Parlov just walked in.
噢 天哪 天哪 我的天哪 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
好了 深呼吸 All right, just breathe.
别再给你的胳肢窝扇风了 Stop fanning your armpits like that.
噢 我的天哪 你还是继续扇吧 Oh, good Lord! Keep fanning them!
- 继续扇 - 噢 - Keep fanning them! - Oh.
帕洛先生 欢迎来到九九分局 Mr, Parlov, welcome to the Nine-Nine.
谢谢你 我有点好奇 Well, thank you very much, I'm a little curious
为什么我的案子被转手了 about why my case got reassigned.
有什么问题吗 Is there some problem?
恰恰相反 上头的人只是想让 Quite the opposite, The top brass just wanted
纽约最好的警探来负责这个案子 New York's best detective on it.
请允许我向你介绍警长 泰瑞·杰佛德先生 Allow me to introduce Mister Sergeant Terry Jeffords.
警长 Sarge?
你好 Hi.
泰瑞 你要过来 Uh-oh, Terry, you want to come out here
帮我给帕洛先生录口供吗 and help me take Mr.Parlov's statement?
他平时身形很挺拔的 He usually stands much taller than that.
不管怎样 跟我们说说你收到的死亡威胁吧 Anyway, tell us about these death threats you've been getting.
你觉得谁有可能寄这些东西呢 Any idea who might be sending them?
我非常确定是某个粉丝干的 Well, I'm pretty sure that it had to be a fan.
自从我揭露了 I've had a little bit of a backlash
克万铎其实是条母龙的事实之后 from some of my younger male readers
一些年轻的男性读者 ever since I revealed the fact
对我表示了强烈的不满 that Qwandor the dragon is actually a female.
我觉得年轻男孩会喜欢一条母龙的 I would think teen boys would love a lady dragon.
你给她写了大得吓人的胸部或者... Did you give her big, scaly boobs, or...
我不知道 你才是作者 I don't know, you're the writer.
克万铎不是性的象征 Qwandor is not a sexual being.
她是家族最后的血脉 For she is the end of bloodlines.
凡人只能在她的怒火中颤抖 All mortals tremble before her wrath.
- 你是《天火》的书迷吗 - 我可不只是个书迷 - "Skyfire" Fan? - Oh, I'm more than a fan.
我可比写这东西的家伙强多了 Whoever wrote this has got nothing on me.
呃 他可不是杀手 Uh, he's not a killer.
把题词的事告诉他 Tell him about the inscription.
你可能不记得了 但是三十年前 You probably don't remember, but 30 years ago,
我给你写过一封信 倾诉了我的孤独和悲伤 I wrote you a letter telling you how lonely and sad I was,
你回寄了一本书给我 还写了题词 and you sent me a book with the inscription.
"我们要书写自己的人生" 这改变了我的人生 "We all write our own stories," And it changed my life.
- 我记得你 - 真的吗 - I do remember you. - You do?
真的 而且我很高兴你这么努力上进 I do indeed, and I'm delighted you made something of yourself.
就像云岩说的那样 As the Cloud Rock says
"困境之中方得初心" "You found yourself in your struggle."
哇 Wow.
"欲追求真理 "The truth is what you came for,
须历经斗争才能如愿" and you found it within your strife."
嚯 挺酷的 Well, that was cool,
- "为了托尔甘 勇敢起来" - 还有啊 - "Be brave for Tolgan." - There's more.
"天下之人无出其右的 托尔甘" "Tolgan the last, Tolgan the first, Tolgan."
托尔甘 Tolgan.
结束了吗 Is it over?
结束了 这是我一生中最棒的一天 Yes. This is the best day of my life.
你有三个孩子呢 泰瑞 You have three kids, Terry.
我说是就是 I said what I said!
好吧 All right.
- 萨姆堂哥 - 小查 - Cousin Sam! - Chucky!
手举高 Up high.
手放下 Down low.
撞屁屁 屁屁 屁屁 Butts! Butts! Butts!
噢 兄弟 我喜欢这件衬衫 你在哪里买的 Oh, man, I love this shirt. Where'd you get that?
- 噢 - 默文百货公司 - Oh, - Mervyn's.
吉娜 快过来 Gina, get your rear over here.
萨姆 你一定要见见吉娜 Sam, you've gotta meet Gina.
我们已经见过了 她请我吃过饭了 Oh, already did, She took me out for dinner.
没错 我只是想对萨姆有更多的了解 Yeah, I just wanted to get to know Sam better,
顺便聊聊即将到来的假期 and talk about the upcoming vacation,
我给他准备了他最爱的 I got him his favorite
鸡蛋沙拉白面包 一碗松软干酪 egg salad on white, bowl of cottage cheese.
旁边放着白煮蛋 Hard boiled egg on the side.
天哪 不要 Oh, no.
噢 太好了 Oh, yes.
最后我发现 萨姆也觉得我们应该去阿鲁巴 Turns out Sam here also thinks we should go to Aruba.
我知道这听起来很疯狂 I know it sounds crazy,
但是加勒比海可能比爱荷华州更有趣 but the Caribbean might be more fun than Iowa.
开什么玩笑 In what universe?
我应该提醒你带好防晒霜 不过嘛 I'd tell you to pack sunscreen, but
看起来你已经够火大了 Mm, looks like you already got burned.
噢 是吗 Uh-oh, did I?
因为我的皮肤还是一股生肉味呢 'Cause my skin still tastes pretty raw.
- 恶 - 不好意思 少数服从多数 - Ew. - Sorry, vote's in,
十三比二 去爱荷华州 13-2, Iowa.
暂时是 但我今天一整天 For now, but I have a whole day of
都要和伯耶尔家的人见面 Boyle cousins scheduled,
从鲍比·伯耶尔三点钟的下午蛋时间开始 starting with Bobby Boyle at 3:00 for afternoon eggs.
你以为可以把我们各个击破吗 You think you can pick us off one-by-one?
- 当然 - 好吧 你可以 - Yeah. - Well, you can,
伯耶尔家的人都是很软弱的 Boyles are very weak as individuals.
但是 如果团结起来 我们坚不可摧 But, together, we're unbreakable.
我要打电话召集亲属委员会 I'm calling a council of the cousins!
好怕怕啊 开玩笑的 走吧 萨姆 I'm scared! Just kidding. Come on, Sam.
萨姆 别走 Sam, stay.
- 走吧 萨姆 - 萨姆 别走 - Sam, come. - Sam, stay.
萨姆 快来 Come on, Sam.
- 萨姆 别走 - 快来 - Sam, stay. - Come on.
- 来吧 - 别动 - Come on. - Stay.
- 来吧 - 别动 - Come. - Stay.
好吧 我们开始办案吧 All right, let's get on this case,
我不能让我的偶像死掉 I can't let my hero die.
太好了 帕洛正在城里参加新书读书会 Great, Parlov is in town for a reading of his new book.
《天火之环 之 加卡塔之桥》 "The Skyfire Cycle: A Bridge to Jarcata".
哈 其实那个词读"加卡阿" Ah, ah, It's actually pronounced "Jarca-a".
《天火》里所有的T都不发音 All the T's in "Skyfire" Are silent.
那这书怎么可能读出来啊 This book sounds impossible to read.
多奇妙啊 对吧 I know, right?
好了 所有的恐吓信都是从纽约寄出的 Okay, All the death threats were sent from New York,
所以罪犯是本地人 他们有可能会试图 so the perp is local, They'll probably try and strike
在明晚的读书会上发动袭击 at the book reading tomorrow night.
他很有可能和其他小粉丝 And he's probably camped out on the street
一起在街上露宿排队 with the other fan boys.
他们已经排了三天了 They've been lined up for three days.
就为了听一个老男人讲故事吗 To listen to an old man read a story?
我永远也无法理解这个世界 I will never understand this world.
你还不是曾经专程坐火车去多伦多 You once took a train to Toronto to get
就为了一盘《虎胆龙威》加拿大版的录像带 a Canadian VHS copy of "Die Hard".
我听说那一版的音质更好 There was a rumor it was better sound quality.
根本不是一回事 泰瑞 Get a grip, Terry.
我们要想个办法把粉丝的笔迹和恐吓信上的 We just need a way to compare the fans' handwriting
做个对比 to the death threats,
噢 我们可以让他们签一份请愿书 Oh! We get them to sign a petition
让克万铎变成一条公龙 to make Qwandor the dragon a male.
哇 聪明 Ooh, Smorf.
但是我们穿成这样能混进去吗 But are we going to fit in there dressed like this?
不 不 当然不行 No, No, we're not.
? 耶 ? ? Yeah ?
? 我在一家酒吧门外 ? ? So I'm outside of da club ?
? 你觉得我是个朋克 ? ? And you think I'm a punk ?
请在我们的请愿书上签字 让克万铎变成雄性 Sign our petition to make Qwandor the dragon a male!
女性角色已经够多了 There are already enough girl characters.
根本不需要再加第三个 We don't need a third!
晚上好 长官 Good evening, sir.
不 我不好 我根本没睡 No, it's not, I haven't slept,
因为我一直在思考那个蠢问题 because I've been going over that stupid problem.
现在我终于明白凯文的想法了 Now I finally understand Kevin's side.
这么说你们已经没事了 Cool, so it's all better
而我也终于不用再上数学课了 and I never have to hear about math again?
恰恰相反 Quite the opposite,
我终于知道他错的有多离谱了 I know better than ever how incorrect he is.
概率可不是闹着玩的 Probability doesn't kick in.
难道我要给你上大学统计课么 Do I have to teach you college level statistics?
我不知道 需要我教你 I don't know, do I have to teach you
高中统计学么 high school statistics?
需要我给你上八年级统计课么 Do I have to teach you eighth grade statistics?
需要我教你七年级的统计学么 Do I have to teach you seventh grade statistics?
需要我给你上 Do I have to teach you
所以警探们 我现在要失陪一下去给他留言了 Now, if you'll excuse me, detectives, I need to leave him
得好好说说幼儿园统计学的事 a snide voicemail about kindergarten statistics.
好吧 我们必须向霍尔特警监解释清楚 Okay, we have got to explain this thing to Captain Holt
好挽救他们的感情 to save their relationship.
想想上次我花了整个周末 And you laughed at me when I went
参加数学会谈时你居然还嘲笑我 to that weekend-long math conference.
因为你说那是"潮人和数字的激情碰撞" Cause you called it "Funky cats and their feisty stats".
活动名称就是这个 就是这么酷 That was the name! It was so cool.
并没有 不管怎样 这都跟数学无关 It was not, Anyway, it's not about the math.
是因为上夜班 他们根本没时间相处 They haven't seen each other because of the night shift.
他们只是需要啪啪啪 They just need to bone.
什么 真恶心 罗莎 他们可是我们的爸爸 What? Gross! Rosa, those are our dads!
我是说 我不是这个意思 I mean... That's not what I think.
- 警监爸爸只是我的上司 - 哇 - Captain Dad is just my boss. - Wow.
不论如何 我要教父亲数学 Never mind, I'm teaching father the math!
随便了 罗莎 Whatever, Rosa.
说实话 泰瑞 我感觉 To be honest, Terry, I'm feeling
我在这好挫啊 你有这把酷酷的剑 a little lame out here, I mean, you got this cool sword,
而我却穿得像个土豆袋子 and I'm wearing what, a potato sack?
你是我的荣誉侍从 You're my noble squire.
你应该为有这麻袋感激涕零 You should be thankful for that burlap,
这样别人就看不出你的阉割手术失败了 it's hiding your terrible failed castration.
天哪 我讨厌这些书 Oh, my God, I hate these books.
你们是来宣传克万铎的请愿书的么 Are you the guys passing out the Qwandor petition?
就是我们 巨龙应该配大鸟 Yup, that's us, Dragons have dongs.
那当然 You bet they do.
跟性别歧视无关 只是 And this isn't about sexism, I mean, it's just
女人们还不至于壮的像龙 that women aren't strong enough to be dragons.
- 把你们的请愿书给我吧 - 好 - Now, handeth me yon "Petish". - Okay.
请愿书给你 "Petish" Handeth yon'd.
这只是个开头 但如果你们真想让 This is a start, but if you really want
帕洛听到你们的意见 Parlov to hear you,
你们必须要写封血书才行 you're gonna have to send a message in blood.
我想我们找到一个嫌疑人了 I think we've got a suspect.
出动吧 Let's ride,
这剑真的好重啊 Whoa, that's very heavy.
- 一定是那个口臭的佛罗多干的 对吧 - 没错 - Halitosis Frodo's got to be our guy, right? - Oh, yeah.
"血书"暗示第一部的八百四十三页 "A message in blood" is a reference to book one, Page 843.
温迪弗在背叛克里凡王子后 谋杀了他 After Wendivil betrayed Prince Clevang, murdered him,
并且用他的血给他的孩子写信 and used his blood to write letters to his children.
你会跟莎伦谈这些么 Do you talk about this stuff with Sharon?
不会 她讨厌这些 No, She hates it.
很正常 Yeah, makes sense.
他的笔迹不一致 Uh, This writing doesn't match up.
还是送去实验室看看吧 I'm gonna send it to the lab anyway.
- 我觉得没这必要 - 为什么 - Yeah, I don't think that's necessary. - Why not?
因为我刚找到一个完美匹配的 Because I just found a perfect match.
是帕洛写的恐吓信 是他自己寄的 Parlov wrote the death threats. He sent them to himself.
泰瑞真没料到会这样 Terry did not see that coming.
完美匹配 And that is a perfect match.
这太疯狂了 This is crazy.
为什么帕洛要给自己寄死亡恐吓信 Why would Parlov send himself a death threat?
为了宣传吧 毕竟他上了电视 For publicity? I mean, he was on TV.
他的书可是多年来 His book is on the best-seller list
第一次出现在畅销榜上 for the first time in years.
帕洛根本不需要炒作 Parlov doesn't need any help.
他已经名利双收了 He's already famous, rich.
连孩子他都多的应付不过来 He's got more babes than he can handle.
拜托 那家伙怎么可能 Come on, that guy?
你现在是在用谎言狡辩 Now you're just lying to prove a point.
他很有魅力的 杰克 非常有魅力 He pulls, Jake. He pulls.
听着 我知道怎么回事 Ugh, Look, I know how it is.
见到自己的偶像不见得是好事 It can be disappointing to meet your hero.
就像我遇见帕特里克·尤因的时候 I mean, just like me and Patrick Ewing.
- 你不是说很开心吗 - 我撒谎了 那就是场灾难 - You said that went great. - I lied. It was a disaster.
打扰了 尤因先生 我叫杰克·佩... Excuse me, Mr. Ewing, my name is Jake Per...
哦 不 Oh, no!
- 嘿 - 你是我最喜欢的球员 - Hey! - You're my favorite player.
这跟你脱了帕特里克·尤因的裤子毫无关系 You pantsing Patrick Ewing has nothing to do with this.
没关系 天哪 那我告诉你图啥 It doesn't? Oh, my God, why did I share that story?
帕洛绝不可能给自己寄恐吓信 There is no way Parlov sent himself that death threat.
我们这就去他的旅馆 Look, we are gonna go to his hotel.
跟他聊聊 然后他会解释清楚 we're gonna talk to him, and he'll have an explanation.
- 你想怎样都行 - 去你的 佩拉尔塔 - Whatever you need. - Screw you, Peralta!
很抱歉 我还以为你会反对 I'm sorry, I thought you were gonna disagree.
谢谢你的支持 这对我真的意义重大 Thank you for your support. It really means a lot to me.
一切都还好么 桑提亚戈 Is everything okay, Santiago?
- 不好 我的戒指丢了 - 你知道丢哪儿了么 - No, I lost my ring. - Did you see where it went?
事实上 Actually...
它就在其中一扇门后面 it's behind one of these three doors.
快选一个吧 Why don't you pick one?
你在跟我玩蒙提霍尔游戏么 Are you trying to Monty Hall me?
难以置信 It's unbelievable.
蒙提·霍尔已经毁了我的家庭生活 I don't need Monty Hall ruining my place of work
我不想让他再毁了我工作的地方 when Monty Hall has already ruined my home life.
拜托 长官 问题不在于数学 Come on, sir, the math thing isn't the problem.
夜班害得你和凯文疏离了 Night shift's keeping you and Kevin apart.
你们俩只是需要啪啪啪 You two just need to bone.
- 你说什么 - 别重复 - What did you say? - Don't say it again.
我说你俩需要啪啪啪 I said you two need to bone.
你好大的胆子 迪亚兹警探 How... dare you, Detective Diaz.
我可是你的上司 I am your superior officer!
啪啪啪 Bone!
不管我家卧室里发生了什么 警探 What happens in my bedroom, Detective,
都与你无关 is none of your business.
啪啪啪 Bone?
别再那样和我说话 Don't ever speak to me like that again
你为什么要这么做 Why did you do that?
那伙计一直在钻牛角尖 现在他明白了 Dude was pent up. Now he knows.
问题也就解决了 Problem solved.
亲属委员会的堂亲们 The council of the cousins.
看看他们 就像一群米色的猪 Look at them. It's like a Beige of Pigs.
吉娜 你似乎很慌乱 Gina, you seem rattled.
你平时不用双关语的 You don't normally make puns.
什么双关语 有吗 That's a pun? On what?
听着 查尔斯 我将掌控整个委员会 Listen, Charles, I'm gonna sway the council.
所以赶紧放弃吧 除非你喜欢 So give up now unless you enjoy being humiliated
在家人面前受辱 in front of your family.
你觉得我在他们面前会尴尬吗 Oh, you think I'd be embarrassed in front of them?
在唐·伯耶尔面前 我给他换过尿布 In front of Don Boyle? I changed his diapers.
- 而且我也要给你换 - 恶 - And I'm about to change yours. - Ugh.
堂亲们 你们好 Hello, cousins.
鲍比 布伦达 比尔 Bobby, Brendan, Bill,
伯纳德 科里堂妹 科里堂弟 Bernard, boy Corey, girl Corey.
伯耶尔老爹曾经说过 "保持中立 Papa Boyle once said: "Stay in the middle.
那才是安全之所 "That's where it's safe.
才是繁荣之地 "That's where we thrive.
那里就是 爱荷华州" That's...Iowa".
查尔斯会告诉你们阿鲁巴岛 Charles will tell you believe that Aruba
不适合伯耶尔家族 但是想象一下 isn't for the Boyles, but picture this:
我们十五个在一条长长的香蕉船上 one long banana boat with the 15 of us on it,
扶着前面人的腰坐成一列 holding each other by the waist,
享受着人生的美妙时刻 having the time of our damn lives.
难道我们真的想去加勒比海盗的地盘么 Do we really wanna go where "Pirates of the Caribbean" took place?
当然 Yes!
不 No!
那电影害我们做了好几个月的噩梦 That movie gave us nightmares for moths!
我给你们准备了湖蓝色的袜子哦 Y'all know I got y'all aqua socks!
大家都是七码 Oh! Size 7s for everybody.
总之 忠诚才是伯耶尔家族的立身之本 In conclusion, Boyles are nothing if not loyal.
忠于我们最爱的花生酱牌子 坚果先生 Loyal to our favorite brand of peanut butter, Mr. Nuts,
忠于彼此 忠于爱荷华 Loyal to each other and loyal to Iowa.
- 我爱你们 - 我们也爱你 - I love you. - I love you.
我是吉娜·林奈特 我批准这消息 I'm Gina Linetti, and I approve this message,
我爱你们 I love you.
我们也爱你 I love you.
- 我也爱你们 - 你们俩都很棒 -I love you too. - You guys both did so good,
我觉得我们要考虑一晚上 明天早上投票 I think we'll sleep on it and we'll vote in the morning.
委员会散会 Council adjourned.
- 我爱你们 - 我们爱你 - I love you. - I love you.
- 嘿 - 怎么了伙计们 - Hey. - What's up guys? Look.
很抱歉 我现在有点忙 I'm sorry, I'm a little busy right now,
我有几个女伴在里面 I've some female companions over, you know.
真的吗 什么样的女伴 Oh, really? What are they,
书呆子宅女吗 还是... like, some nerdy sci-fi fans, or...
我的天啊 Good Lord!
我真不敢相信自己的眼睛 I don't know what I'm looking at.
早就告诉过你了 他很有魅力的 非常有魅力 I told you, man, he pulls. He pu-u-ulls.
好了 别再说了 Okay, stop saying "Pulls".
帕洛先生 我们得和你谈谈 Mr. Parlov, we have to talk to you.
我们并不是指控你有罪 Now, we're not accusing you of anything.
只是想问你几个问题 We just want to ask a few questions.
我们可能搞错了 You know, we're probably wrong.
- 我们还是走吧 - 警长 别走 - We should just go. - Sarge, no.
天啊 你真壮 God, you're strong!
帕洛先生 你是为了宣传炒作 Mr. Parlov, did you send yourself
才寄死亡威胁信件给自己吗 those death threats for publicity?
开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?
我根本不需要炒作 I have no need for publicity.
威胁信的笔迹 The handwriting in the death threats
和你在泰瑞书中题词的笔迹 matches perfectly with the inscription
一模一样 you wrote to Terry.
好吧 老实说 Yeah, tell you the truth,
这个题词不是我自己写的 I didn't actually write this inscription myself.
- 什么 - 拜托 成熟点 - What? - Come on, you guys, grow up.
你以为我有那么多时间给每个 You think I have time to answer each letter I get
写信给我的可怜小胖子回信吗 from every sad little fat kid that writes me?
拜托 所以我才请了助理 Come on, That's why I've got assistants,
就是为了处理那些破事 precisely for that sort of crap.
但是你说你记得我 But you said you remembered me.
因为你是负责我案子的警察 Because you were the cop assigned to my case.
我并不想惹你生气 Look, I didn't want to piss you off.
你们要找的人 是我的前助理 The man you're looking for, he's my ex-assistant.
他的名字叫埃德蒙·格拉伊 His name is Edmund Grail.
那家伙痛恨我 The guy hates me.
我睡了他老婆 所以很自然 我不得不炒了他 I slept with his wife, so naturally, I had to fire him.
这故事真棒 Yeah, that's a cool story.
之后 我又和他姐姐有些纠缠不清 After that, I got sort of involved with his sister.
- 她非常性感 - 别说了 - It was kind of hot... - Please stop talking.
好吧 Fine.
我现在要去用功做研究了 I have a little bit of research to attend to myself,
如果你们懂我的意思 if you understand what I'm talking about.
祝你和三个 Enjoy having sex
玩角色扮演的性感美女玩得愉快 with three gorgeous women in cosplay.
越来越可怕了 Well, that went terribly,
我真的很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
你要单独待会吗 Do you need a moment alone
还是想聊聊 还是... or you want to talk about it or...
没错 这样也很有用 Yep yep. That works, too.
嘿 有好消息 Hey, good news,
我找到帕洛老助理的地址了 I found the address of Parlov's old assistant,
我准备过去询问他 你要来吗 I'm gonna go over there and question him, you want to come?
也许他不会开门 Maybe he won't open the door
然后你得把门撞开 and you'll have to kick it down.
这总是能让你振作起来 That always cheers you up,
我不想撞什么门 I don't feel like kicking down doors.
那快速冲过一面墙 What about running really fast through a wall,
在墙上留下你身体的轮廓呢 leaving a perfect outline of your body?
像动画里那样 Like a cartoon?
- 没错 - 不要 - Mm-hmm. - No.
我只想坐在这里 然后思考 I'm just gonna sit here and think about
那些我奉为毕生信条的文字 how the words I lived by my entire life
怎么会是弥天大谎 are a big fat lie.
警长 我明白当你发现你的偶像 Look, Sarge, I understand what it's like
与你的幻想大相径庭时是什么感受 to have a hero who doesn't act the way you want him to.
又是帕特里克·尤因的故事 是吗 It's not gonna be about Patrick Ewing again, is it?
不 也不是有关约翰·史塔克斯的 No, and it's not about John Starks, either,
他也被我脱过裤子 who I also pantsed,
你到底脱过多少尼克斯队员的裤子 How many Knicks have you pantsed?
算上教练的话 五个 但这不是重点 Including coaches, five, but that's not the point.
我说的那个偶像是你 The hero I was talking about is you.
你是一个很棒的警察 丈夫和上司 You're a great cop and dad and husband and boss.
还有 你身上总是有淡淡的香草味 And also, you always smell just a little bit like vanilla.
那是我用的香皂味 That's my soap,
我在岚舒买的 I got it at Lush.
泰瑞 你是我长大后想要成为的人 You're who I want to be when I grow up, Terry.
你应该知道你的成就 And you should know that some dumb inscription
并不是靠什么烂书上的愚蠢题词得来的 in some stupid book isn't what made you who you are.
你不明白这点我真的很郁闷 And it bums me out that you can't see that.
现在 我要去抓住这个坏人 Now, I'm gonna go get this bad guy,
因为那是你教导我这么做的 because that's what you taught me to do.
还有那个卖香皂的店叫什么来着 Also what was the name of the soap store again?
算了 我自己去网上查 Forget it, I'll just look it up online.
好了 萨姆 我们都在 你继续说吧 Okay, we're both here, Sam, Go ahead.
这是个非常艰难的抉择 Well, it was a real hard decision,
但最终我们决定 but ultimately we decided
伯耶尔家族要去阿鲁巴 the Boyles are going to Aruba!
好的 萨姆 听到这个消息我真高兴 All right, Sam, well, I'm happy to hear that,
我觉得那里的阳光会对 I think the sun's gonna be really good
大家的牛皮癣很有好处的 for everyone's psoriasis,
我们都很兴奋 We're all so excited.
好了 我爱你 查尔斯 我爱你 吉娜 All right, I love you, Charles, I love you, Gina.
哎呀 没信号了 Whoops, Lost you.
真是太简单了 It was almost too easy,
我就像驯养伯耶尔家族的坦普·葛兰汀一样 I'm like the Temple Grandin of herding Boyles.
没错 Yes, you are.
怎么了 为什么你在笑 What? Why are you smiling?
我不明白 我赢了 I don't get it, I won.
是吗 Did you?
你太专注于打败伯耶尔家族 以致于你也成了其中一员 You were so busy trying to beat the Boyles, you became one.
你知道了我们的好恶 You learned about our likes and dislikes,
我们的过敏史和恐惧症 our allergies and our phobias.
你甚至给谢尔曼堂兄的马尾辫买了发圈 You even bought cousin Sherman a scrunchy for his ponytail.
是啊 我是为了赢 Yeah, so I could win.
你确实赢得了 And you did win...
家族墓地里的一席之地 a plot in the family cemetery.
我们全家人 All of us together
百年后都要躺在同一个坟墓里 lying in a grave for eternity!
一个"坟墓" "Grave" Singular?
查尔斯 就一个"坟墓" Charles, "Grave" Singular?
警监 我们知道你不想提起蒙提·霍尔 Oh, Captain, I know you don't want to talk about Monty Hall,
但我联系了一位数学教授... but I did contact a math...
没必要 桑提亚戈 我们和好了 No need, Santiago, It's all good.
- 所以你和凯文不吵架了 - 是的 - So the fight with Kevin is over? - Yep.
- 因为你明白数学原理了 - 不明白 - Because you understand the math now? - Nope.
- 因为你们俩... - 没错 - Because you guys... - Yep.
我就知道 Knew it.
- 看吧 事实就是你爸爸们做爱了 - 好吧 罗莎 - See, what happened is, your dads had sex. - Okay, Rosa.
埃德蒙·格拉伊在吗 Edmund Grail?
- 是谁 - 纽约警察 - Who wants to know? - NYPD.
我要问你几个关于DC.帕洛的问题 I need to ask you a few questions about DC Parlov.
好的 Oh, okay.
等我把门锁打开 Let me just undo the chain.
狗娘养的 Son of a bitch.
站住 Freeze!
尝尝卡拉的威力吧 Taste the might of Ka'Lar!
把他带走 Get him out of here.
干得漂亮 警长 Nice work, Sarge.
你说得对 You were right.
谁在乎帕洛 Who cares about Parlov?
我们要书写自己的人生 We write our own stories.
所以欢迎阅读"泰瑞年代记" So welcome to the Terry Chronicles,
第一卷: 逮捕埃德蒙·格拉伊 Book One: The Arrest of Edmund Grail.
紧接着第二卷: Followed by Book Two:
迷人的莎伦 The Ravishing of Sharon.
很抱歉 I am so sorry,
只是你出现让我有点激动 I'm just pumped that you showed up.
我不能让你失望 I couldn't let you down.
所以你才是我的英雄 And that is why you are my hero.
来吧 抱一个 大块头 Come on, Bring it in, big fella.
不 Oh, no!
又来了 It happened again!
又是这样 泰瑞 It happened again, Terry!