神烦警探 第4季第10集
圣诞老人的原型
《虎胆龙威5》的评价不高
有关美国开国元勋亚历山大·汉密尔顿的音乐剧
BGM: Silent Night 平安夜
拉脱维亚首都
前世界国际象棋冠军
动物分泌到体外使其他个体通过嗅觉察觉并作出反应的物质
西方女子出嫁前所使用的姓
你们在这干什么
到你了
我爱死你了 儿子
你真是个特别的孩子
吃屎去吧
BGM: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing 听啊 天使高声唱
去年真实发生的一起乌龙事件 一名穆斯林高中男生因其自制闹钟被老师误认为是炸弹而遭到逮捕
BGM: Joy to the world 普世欢腾
美国新泽西州的城市 临哈得孙河 对岸为纽约市的曼哈顿岛
美国第三任副总统 因政治分歧与时任美国财政部长的汉密尔顿进行了一场决斗
《绝命毒师》主演
BGM: The twelve days of christmas 圣诞节十二天
感谢各位与我一同参加这场 Thank you for joining me for what promises to be
我保证是九九区史上最酷最炫的圣诞亮灯仪式 the diggity-dopest tree lighting in the history of the Nine-Nine.
我不明白 树在哪儿 I don't understand. Where's the tree?
它一直都在我们的心中 机智啊 杰克 It was inside us all along. Brilliant, Jake.
不 查尔斯 不是所有东西都一直在我们心中 No, Charles, not everything was inside of us all along.
树在这儿 The tree is right here.
酷 我们可以走了么 Cool, Can we go now?
当然不行 看啊 Obviously not. Behold.
全米国最棒的充气树 the greatest inflatable tree that 'Murica has to offer.
现在 正如圣尼古拉的不朽名言所说 And now, in the immortal words of Saint Nick,
压缩机开动 turn on the compressor.
你们听到了么 这是圣诞节的声音 You hear that? It's the sound of Christmas.
震耳欲聋 It's deafening.
它真的变得好大 It's getting really big.
你订的什么型号的树 What size tree did you get?
特大号 It's a jumbo.
据说有十米高 It says it's ten meters tall.
大概是32.81英尺 That's... Roughly 32.81 feet.
赶紧来个人拔掉插头 快点 Someone unplug it, unplug it now.
不行 插头陷进去了 We can't. It swallowed its own plug!
大家快跑 Everybody run!
好了 树已经无路可逃了 Okay, the tree has been contained.
等等 我们落了一个人 Wait, we left a man behind.
杰克 Jake!
泰瑞被永远困在里面了 Well, Terry's trapped in the break room forever.
我们能做的只有继续生活下去 Only thing we can do now is move on with our lives.
泰瑞一定也希望我们这么做 It's what Terry would've wanted.
啊 Aah!
我主仁慈 God bless us, every one?
耶 Yeah!
真好 伯耶尔一家都在这儿 Ah, the Boyles are here. Good tidings.
吉纳维芙 你好 你看起来... Genevieve, hello, you're looking...
性感的像个狐狸精 Sexy as a minx.
我本来想说"很喜庆"的 因为这围巾 I was gonna say "Festive," due to the scarf.
里面的内衣性感得要疯了 The bra underneath is insane.
- 确实 - 好吧 - It is. - Okay.
做了父母也没有改变你们俩 Parenthood has not changed you two.
尼古拉耶 伙计 Hey there, Nikolaj, my man.
- 你怎么样 - 嗨 杰克 我们给爸爸做了 - How you doing? - Hi, Jake, we made Daddy
拉脱维亚的圣诞饼干 你要来点儿么 Latvian Christmas cookies. Want one?
- 当然了 - 里面加的土豆 - You bet I do. - The potato really
- 配上醋真是绝了 - 可惜这俩 - brings out the vinegar. - Neither of those
都不应该是饼干材料 我还是放回去好了 are cookie things, I'm just gonna put that back.
要过圣诞节啦 激动么伙计 So, you excited for Christmas, bud?
- 当然 我超级激动 - 这是尼古拉耶 - Yeah, I'm so excited, - This is Nikolaj's
第一次过圣诞节 因为孤儿院一直过不了 first Christmas because the orphanage kept cancelling it.
一次是因为暴风雪 一次是火灾 还有一次是因为 Once it was blizzards, one it was fires, and once it was...
- 饥荒 - 没错 饥荒 - Famine. - That's right, famine.
- 哦 - 爸爸答应过 - Oh - Papa promised me
要送我最好的礼物 一个拉脱维亚队长的玩偶 the best present ever: a Captain Latvia action figure!
哇 拉脱维亚队长 他的超能力是什么 Whoa, Captain Latvia? What's his superpower?
- 他可以跟麋鹿说话么 - 不 是负鼠 - Can he talk to moose? - No, possums.
- 更糟糕 - 那个玩具在美国 - Worse. - It's a very difficult toy
很难弄到 所以在查尔斯承诺 to get in America, so I was worried
要送尼古拉耶一个的时候 我很担心 when Charles told Nikolaj he would get him one.
我说过 给他一个惊喜就好了 免得期望太高 I said, keep it a surprise, so you don't build up
会有落差 不过查尔斯说 "没门 his expectations, but Charles said, "no way,
- 我就想让他充满期待" - 我们都记得 - I want to build expectations." - Well, we all remember
那段对话 爸爸该工作了 the conversation. Well, work time for Daddy.
待会见了 我爱你们 I'll see you guys later. Okay, I love you guys so much.
- 我们也爱你 - 好的 - Love you. - All right.
- 拜拜 - 圣诞节会充满惊喜 - Bye. - Christmas is gonna be amazing!
圣诞节会糟糕透顶 我还没弄到礼物 Christmas is gonna suck. I don't have the present.
什么 但是你答应了尼古拉耶 What? But you promised Nikolaj.
一个月前我就在一个拉脱维亚玩具店下单了 I ordered it a month ago from a Latvian toy store,
可是到现在还没送到 and it still hasn't arrived yet.
快递公司一直搪塞我 The shipping company is giving me the runaround.
好吧 那就送他个别的礼物 All right, so just get him a different present,
比如喷气滑雪橇或者... 锤子 like a Jet Ski or... A hammer.
我不知道小孩子喜欢什么 I don't know what kids are into.
吉纳维芙和我带他回家后 Genevieve and I worked so hard
好不容易才让他信任我们 to get Nikolaj to trust us when we brought him home.
现在全部都要毁了 That's gonna be destroyed,
就像那家因木材干朽而崩塌殆尽的孤儿院一样 the way dry rot destroyed his orphanage.
- 相信我 不会有事的 - 真的吗 - Trust me, it's gonna be fine. - Really?
因为你也这么说过《虎胆龙威5》 杰克 'Cause you said that about "Die Hard 5," Jake.
哦 Oh.
完蛋了 It's not gonna be fine.
最后 我们要谈谈社区服务问题 Finally, let's talk about community outreach.
关于这个谁有什么... Does anyone have any ideas about...
这些金嗓傻逼是谁 Who are these golden-throated dorks?
- 是运输署的人 - 没错 - It's the MTA. - That's right.
纽约大都会运输署 The Metropolitan Transit Authority.
我猜你们爬出你们的老鼠管道 I assumed you've climbed out of your rat tunnels
是为了来嘲讽我们参加今晚的颂歌比赛吧 to taunt us about tonight's charity caroling competition.
不不不 当然不是 No, no, no, of course not.
我们是来祝你们好运的 毕竟我们每年都 We're here to wish you luck, since every year we...
- ? 独 ?- ? 占 ? - Kick... - Your...
? 鳌头 ? Butts.
够了 你们以前也许赢过我们 Enough. You may have bested us before,
不过收回你们的野心吧 but throttle back your ambitions.
我们的声音 Our voices are...
- ? 更棒 ? - ? 更强 ? - Better? - Awesome!
- ? 歌唱 ? - ? 斯库利 ? - Sing! - Scully!
太恐怖了 That was terrible.
希望你们今晚准备的更好些 I hope you're more prepared tonight,
不然我们就得报人口失踪案了 or else we'll have to file a missing persons report.
失踪者姓 "你的" First name: "Your".
名叫 "尊严" Last name: "Dignity".
走吧 伙计们 我们去搭地铁和巴士吧 Come on, crew, let's hit the rails and buses.
这可都是在纽约出行的绝佳工具 Both great ways to get around the city.
我受够每年都输给那些脸色苍白的智障了 I hate that we lose to those pasty-assed mole people every year.
这个时候粉饰词汇毫无意义 Oh, there's no point in mincing your words.
他们就是帮无赖 They're knaves!
警长 你真用这张嘴亲凯文吗 Captain, you kiss Kevin with that mouth?
没错 而且今晚 You bet I do. And tonight,
我还要用它唱歌 I'm gonna sing with it.
我们要打倒运输署 We're taking down the MTA.
- 查尔斯 你在干嘛 - 加客 - Charles, what are you doing? - Jah-nakeh.
- 什么 - 加客 - What? - Jah-keh.
完全不知道你在说什么 你怎么不穿件夹克 No idea what you're saying. Why aren't you wearing a jacket?
哦 夹克 懂了 Oh, jacket, got it.
冷死了 你在外面干嘛 Aw, it's freezing. What are you doing out here?
我在跟梅尔文进出口公司打电话 I'm on the phone with Melvin's Import-Exports,
就是那些弄丢了拉脱维亚队长的混蛋 the bastards who lost my Captain Latvia.
把我搂在怀里 我需要人暖暖 Now wrap me in your arms, I need body heat.
好吧 All right.
- 你还在抖 - 一开始那些混蛋说 - And you're nestling. - Ugh, first those jerks said
包裹弄丢了 接着又说他们找到了 they lost my package, then they said they found it,
然后又让我等了三个小时 then they had me on hold for three hours.
我的手机只有在这里信号才好 This is the only place I get reliable reception.
- 等会再搂你 - 不要啊 为什么 - I'm unwrapping for a sec. - No, why?
因为我要像个英雄一样 'Cause I need my fingers to save the day
动动手指拯救世界 like a fricking hero.
然后... 梅尔文公司就在皇后区 And... boom. Melvin's import is in Queens.
- 我们直接过去吧 - 好让他们 - Let's just go there right now. - Oh, so they could just
不是通过电话而是当面羞辱我吗 walk all over me in person instead of on the phone?
- 算了吧 杰克 我弱爆了 - 什么 别这么说 - Face it, Jake, I'm weak, - What? Don't talk like that,
你很强的 好么 而且你现在做父亲了 You're very strong, all right? And you're a parent now,
这会让你变得更强 which makes you even stronger.
想想那些当妈的 I mean, think about all those moms
每天都要接送孩子 who literally lift buses off their kids every day.
你是说我应该 Oh, so you're saying I should
汲取我老妈的力量 tap into my mommy strength.
对 或者老爹的力量 无所谓了 Yeah, or daddy strength, but whatever.
没错 是时候让我老妈和老爹亲密接触一下了 Right, time to put some daddy into my mommy.
一定还有更好的说法 我们走 Gotta be a better way to phrase that, let's go.
好 复习一下简单的和声 Okay, let's review our simple harmonies.
我指到谁 谁就唱 When I point at you, hit your note.
好吧 实在是太差劲了 Okay. That was horrible.
因为我还没来得及说唱呢 Because I didn't get a chance to rap.
? 嘭 嘭 一个个放倒 ? Pop, pop, droppin' bodies
? 老子要打劫你这混蛋 ? It's a stickup you punk a...
不行 希区柯克 没有说唱 No, Hitchcock, there's no rapping.
你对现在的局势严重地判断失误 You've grossly misread the situation.
也许我们只是需要多加练习 Maybe we just need to practice more.
比如说 我就觉得自己有些微的跑调 I, for one, felt like I was a teeny bit off.
别自欺欺人了 桑提亚戈 Don't fool yourself, Santiago.
你是所有人里跑调最厉害的 You were the most off of everyone.
够了 没错 我们都一窍不通 That's enough, Sure, we're untrained.
是 我们的歌声烂到家了 Yes, our voices sound like garbage,
没错 运输署从一开始就领先我们一大截 and, yes, the MTA has a huge head start on us,
简直太令人羞愧了 and it's embarrassing.
但你知道吗 But you know what?
我们可是九九局 We're the Nine-Nine.
什么都无法阻挡我们 And nothing can stand in our way.
她说得对 She's right.
今晚我们会把他们打得落花流水 We're gonna beat their butts tonight.
今晚吗 Oh, tonight?
今天晚上这个今晚 Tonight, tonight?
我来不了 Yeah, I can't.
我买了《汉密尔顿》的票 I have "Hamilton" Tickets. Oh, well.
祝好运 白白 Good luck. Peace.
我也不干了 I'm out too.
如果我们是要去自取其辱的话 我才不 I mean, if we're just gonna be humiliated, I don't s...
- 等等 闭嘴 - 你这是 - Wait, shut up. - Did you just tell
- 在让自己闭嘴吗 - 是 现在你也闭嘴 - yourself to shut up? - Yeah, now you shut up too.
- 听 - ? 圣母与圣婴 ? - Listen. - Mother and child...
- 听见了吗 - 是天使的声音 - You hear that? - It's an angel
他要来拯救我们 who will save us.
? 慈祥又天真 ? Tender and mild...
是从大办公室传来的 It's coming from the bullpen.
? 静享天赐安眠 ? Sleep in heavenly peace
谁在唱歌 Who's singing?
是哪个制服警察吗 Is it one of the uniformed officers?
不 并不是 No, it is not.
? 天赐安眠 ? Heavenly peace
- 咱们的天使是个罪犯 - 咱们的天使还喝醉了 - Our angel's a criminal. - And our angel is drunk.
天使吐了 The angel puked.
- 你是梅尔文吗 - 是我 你是谁 - Hey, you Melvin? - I am, who are you?
我叫查尔斯 一直在等你们的电话 我来找我的包裹 I'm Charles, from being on hold, and I want my package.
我跟你说过了 那个包裹不在这儿 Yeah, I already told you, that package isn't here.
我对我儿子许下了神圣的诺言 Well, I made a sacred promise to my son,
而你休想让我变成个骗子 所以你最好再去找一找 and you're not gonna make a liar out of me, so why don't you take another look?
我们就在这等 因为我们有 We'll wait. 'Cause we've got all...
一 整 夜 night... long.
- 厉害了 - 我不知道 - Damn. - Oh, I don't know
你是否清楚 我是个警察 if you knew this, but... I'm a cop.
所以也许这一次 别对我说谎 So maybe this time, don't lie to me.
我不知道你们是警察 Hey, I didn't know you guys were police.
现在你知道了 机灵鬼 Well, now you do, genius.
- 你为什么老这么做 - 我不知道 - How do you keep doing that? - I don't know.
好吧 好吧 别激动 都怪那个拉脱维亚黑帮 All right, all right, hold on. Look, there's a Latvian gang,
尖刺组织 他们利用集装箱 okay, the Gals Skepu. They smuggle guns
从拉脱维亚走私枪支 in containers that come from Latvia.
有时他们会把别的包裹弄丢 Sometimes there's other packages that get lost
明白吗 要想找到你的包裹 in the process, okay? If you want to find yours,
- 你得去找他们 - 贩卖枪支的黑帮是吧 - you gotta find them. - Gun-running gangsters, huh?
看起来我们得去端掉这个拉脱维亚黑帮了 Well, looks like we're gonna take down the Latvian mob.
必须的 Hell yeah, we are.
流血了吗 Is it bleeding?
查尔斯 我流血了吗 Charles, is it bleeding?
- 谢谢 梅尔文 - 我要创可贴 - Thanks, Melvin. - I want a Band-Aid.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我刚问过有组织犯罪调查科的克劳福德 I just talked to Crawford from Organized Crime.
看来尖刺组织是东岸的 Apparently, the Gals Skepu are major gun-runners
大型枪支走私集团 他们的头目 on the east coast. Their leader's got
在后面有间办公室 还有 胸毛不错 an office in the back. Also, great chest hair.
吉纳维芙称之为"伯耶尔之羽" Ah, Genevieve calls it "The plume of Boyle."
好恶心哦 Aww, that's so yucky.
你觉得这件T恤过分了吗 Hey, do you think this shirt is offensive?
我不太确定它和我的整体形象搭不搭 I'm just not sure how it fits into my ensemble.
拜托 注意重点 杰克 Come on, focus, Jake.
这关乎到我儿子的幸福 My boy's happiness is at stake.
看看吉纳维芙刚给我发的邮件 I mean, read the email Genevieve just sent me.
略过关于她胸罩的那部分 Skip the part about her bra.
难以置信 这部分还大写加粗了 Impossible, it's in all caps, bolded.
开始了 "尼尼为你要送他的拉脱维亚队长兴奋不已" Here we go: "Nik-Nik is so excited you're getting him Captain Latvia".
然后是一张他用空手道砍猫的照片 And then there's a photo of him karate chopping a cat.
那是拉脱维亚队长的招牌动作 里加之锤 Oh, yeah, that's Captain Latvia's move, the Riga Hammer.
瞄准这里 一下就能把敌人打趴下 You hit a guy here, he goes down instantly.
- 听上去有点牵强 - 好吧 - Sounds a little far-fetched. - Okay,
不服跟拉脱维亚队长的敌人说去 哦 等等 你说不了 well, tell that to Captain Latvia's enemies. Oh, wait, you can't
因为他们还昏迷着呢 because they're unconscious.
好吧 门口有黑帮分子守着 有什么计划吗 Okay, the door is guarded by the mob. You wanna figure out our plan?
早就想好了 Already did.
看老妈的莲花舌发功 Mommy's gonna talk her way in.
嘿 伙计们 我给你们讲个笑话 Hey there, jokers, I got a joke for you:
一个爱沙尼亚农民会跟另一个说什么 What did one Estonian farmer say to the other?
咱们的庄稼地产量可比伟大的拉脱维亚差远了 Our crop yields are so much smaller than that of mighty Latvia.
行了 进来吧 Okay. Come on in.
真是太好笑了 Oh, laughing is fun.
现在的问题是 咱们是让这个歌声优美的醉鬼 The question on the table is, do we add a velvet-voiced
加入圣诞颂歌合唱团 还是要像一群可悲的失败者一样 drunkard to our caroling group, or do we lose miserably like
可悲地失败 a bunch of miserable losers?
我觉得应该拼一把 而且我是老大 I say we do it, and I'm the boss.
因此 散会 Therefore, meeting adjourned.
我简直不敢相信你真的在考虑这事 警监 I can't believe you're even considering this, Captain.
那家伙是个罪犯 The guy's a criminal,
也不算吧 只是公然醉酒而已 Barely, It was public intoxication.
他只不过是尿在了几个雪人上 All he did was pee on a couple snowmen.
还有一个正常人 And one regular man.
再说 这也算是他的社区服务了 Plus, it'll count toward his community service.
从某种意义上讲 我们算是继续 In a certain way, we'll be furthering
伸张了正义 the cause of justice.
桑提亚戈 违反规定会让你紧张到出汗 Santiago, breaking the rules makes you all sweaty.
你不可能同意这事 You can't be okay with this.
这俩胳肢窝绝对干燥 那个醉鬼应该唱歌 These pits are bone-dry, The drunk sings.
醉鬼应该唱歌 The drunk sings.
非常感谢 你又解开了一个扣子吗 Thank you very much. Did you unbutton another button?
非礼勿视 杰克 你打探到什么了吗 Eyes up here, Jake, So, did you learn anything,
你该不会一直盯着我的胸看吧 or were you just staring at my body the whole time?
太诡异了 但我确实发现了经理是谁 Weird, but I did find out who the manager is,
而且我基本确定她身上正带着 and I'm almost positive she's got a key to
后面办公室的钥匙 the back office on her right now.
她叫斯维特拉娜 Her name is Svetlana.
谢了 交给我吧 Thanks, I'll take it from here.
等一下 查尔斯 她一点英语都不会说 Wait, Charles, she doesn't speak any English,
我们也不能暴露身份 and we don't wanna blow our cover.
- 你会拉脱维亚语吗 - 我为了尼古拉耶学过几句 - Do you speak any Latvian? - Well, I learned a few phrases
但我是不会对斯维特拉娜说那些话的 for Nikolaj, but I'm not gonna use words with Svetlana.
别告诉我你要用男性体味了 Don't say you're gonna use your musk.
- 我要用体味征服她 - 好吧 - I'm gonna use my musk. - Okay.
外面观众挺多的 It's a pretty juicy crowd out there.
大家记住自己的角色 Okay, everyone, remember your role.
派翠克 独唱 斯库利 节奏口技 Patrick, solos, Scully, mouth percussion,
罗莎 节奏口技 艾米 无声节奏口技 Rosa, mouth percussion, Amy, silent mouth percussion...
我连节奏口技都不行吗 I can't even mouth percuss?
不行 泰瑞 节奏口技 No, Terry, mouth percussion.
- 希区柯克 呆在后台 - 没问题 - Hitchcock... stay backstage, - You got it.
咱们一边挨个出场 一边跟节奏唱 We walk out one by one, bum-bum-bumming,
然后派翠克用歌声将我们送往胜利 then Patrick sings us to victory.
女士们先生们 请掌声欢迎 Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for
九九分局 "The 99th Precinct."
派翠克 赶紧的 Now, Patrick, Now,
不 不 人太多了 Mm-mm, Mm-mm, no, too many people.
太多了 Too many.
长官 说点什么 Sir, say something.
我很抱歉 但是现在有一起突发事件 I'm sorry, but there's been a police emergency.
是炸弹 There's a bomb.
不是这里 是在很远的地方 但他们需要我们 Not here, far away, but they still need us.
所以... 圣诞节快乐 So... Merry Christmas.
还有... 不要再想炸弹的事了 And... don't think about the bomb.
拜 Bye.
- 你们表现得真棒 - 别瞎说了 希区柯克 - That sounded great. - Not now, Hitchcock.
刚才怎么回事 派翠克 What the hell happened out there, Patrick?
真对不起 人太多了 I'm really sorry, There were so many people.
- 我... 我有点怯场 - 我不明白 - I...I got stage fright. - I don't get it.
你对着整个警局的人不是也唱得挺好的嘛 You had no problem singing in front of the entire precinct.
我当时喝醉了 I was drunk.
是酒精给了我歌唱的勇气 Alcohol gives me the courage to sing.
还给了你尿在雪人上的勇气 And the courage to pee on snow people.
哟 哟 哟 Well, well, well.
我打电话问过了 I made a couple calls.
真是万万没想到 原来所谓的炸弹 and imagine my surprise when I found out
只不过是你们这群家伙嘛 that the only bomb out there was you guys.
是嘛 看起来这里唯一的火车 Yeah, well, it looks like the only train in here
- 就是火车 - 艾米 告诉他 - is the train. - Tell him, Amy.
火车 训练 辅助轮 Train, training, training wheels.
你在兜圈子 快想 快想 You're circling, find it, find it.
轮子 你们是轮子 Wheels! You are wheels.
不是的 Nope.
完美的舞者 Fantastic dancer.
哇 伯耶尔 你比我上周看的纪录片里的 Wow, Boyle, you got more moves than Bobby Fischer
鲍比·菲舍尔招数还多 who I saw a documentary about last week.
杰克 你的恭维我很受用 Flattery will get you everywhere, Jake.
跟上 我们应该还有十五分钟 Follow me, I figure we got 15 minutes
等外激素的影响消退 before the pheromones wear off.
她就会发现我偷走了钥匙 and she realizes I took the key.
刚才我就像个臭鼬拼命释放气味 I was spraying 'em like a skunk out there.
什么也没有 没有运输记录 I got nothing. No shipping records.
没有地址 没有非法枪支 no addresses, nothing about illegal guns.
也没有拉脱维亚队长 and nothing about Captain Latvia.
他们当然不会大肆宣扬自己 Well, they're obviously not gonna broadcast
对拉脱维亚队长做了什么 what they did with Captain Latvia.
- 他们又不傻 - 我们该走了 - They're not fools. - We should go.
我们呆的时间太长了 这很危险 We've been here too long. This is getting dangerous.
危险是我的娘家姓 Well, danger is my maiden name.
- 是中间名 - 你最好继续找 - Middle name. - So you better keep looking.
我是不会让我的孩子失望的 不会在今晚 because I'm not gonna let my kid down, not tonight.
糟了 有人来了 Crap, we've got company.
都说了我们该走了 I told you we had to leave.
我找到一个平板 这肯定有用处 I found a tablet. This could be something.
嘿 还好你在这 Hey, thank God you're here.
你觉得这个T恤伤人吗 Do you think this shirt is offensive?
做那个里加锤 Do the Riga Hammer.
可是根本没这种东西啊 But that's not a real thing.
杰克 Jake!
你想来拉脱维亚式的 Oh, you wanna do this in Latvian?
随你 Fine.
你俩说什么呢 What were you guys talking about?
他觉得这个T恤种族歧视吗 Did he think the shirt was racist?
你刚才对付那个打手时真是太疯狂了 So, pretty crazy how you took out that Latvian mob guy back there.
是啊 我感觉自己像个超级英雄 像绿巨人的妈妈 I know, I felt like a superhero, like the Hulk's mom.
- 为啥像妈妈 - 那平板上有什么 - Why the mom? - Hey, is there anything
能找到他玩具的线索吗 on that tablet that will lead us to his toy?
不知道 有密码 不过别担心 I don't know, it's locked, but don't worry.
技术人员一会就能打开 Our tech guys will get it open in no time.
切 我可没工夫等那些笨蛋 Pssh, I don't have time for those dorks.
什么 但是你很喜欢泰德和克雷格的 What? But you love Ted and Craig.
你们每周末都一起放风筝呢 You fly kites with them every weekend.
他们挺好的 把那个该死的平板给我 They're good guys. Give me the damn tablet!
什么 不 查尔斯 你在开车 What? No, Charles, you're driving.
1234 不对 Ugh, 1234? Nope.
- 5555 该死 - 停下 - 5555? Damn it. - Stop.
如果你一直输错 我们就永远 If you keep getting it wrong, we're gonna get
- 打不开了 - 我必须冒这个险 - locked out forever. - That's a risk I have to take.
就是它 5683 今年排名第五的 Boom, did it, 5683. Fifth most common
最常用密码 打出来的单词是... pass code this year. It spells...
- "爱" - "屁" 是"爱" - "Love". - "Fart". Yep, "Love".
找找有用的 Now find me something I could use.
没想到我也会说"说个请会更好" Never thought I'd have to say "A please would be nice,"
不过算了 有了 but okay. Oh, here we go.
有很多关于皇冠高地仓库的信息 There are a bunch of messages about a warehouse in Crown Heights.
皇冠高地 我们就去那了 Crown Heights, that's where we're going.
查尔斯 Hey, Charles.
- 刚才是黄灯 - 我很谨慎地闯过去的 - that was a yellow light! - I proceeded with caution.
? 荣耀归与新生王 ? ? Glory to the new born king ?
运输署的蠢货们刚才给我发了一个动图 Those MTA jerks just texted us a GIF
一个地铁列车卡通人露出屁股嘲笑一个警察 of a cartoon subway train mooning a cop.
他们在舞台上发的 They sent it from the stage.
我们绝对不能忍气吞声 We cannot let this stand.
但是我们打败不了他们 But there's no way we can beat them.
怎么办 What do we do?
还有我的饶舌绝招没使[在桌子上] My rapping's still on the table.
根本连餐厅都没进 It's not even in the dining room.
我们需要一个新主唱 We need a new singer.
我很不想这么说 I hate to say this,
但我想我们得退出比赛了 but I think we should withdraw from the competition.
明智 然后我们就可以坐在观众席 Smart, then we can sit in the audience
朝那些混蛋扔电池 and throw batteries at those MTA-holes.
同志们 要我说 我觉得我们应该上场 Guys, personally, I think we should go out there
尽我们最大努力唱好 and just sing our best.
唱颂歌不是为了比赛 Caroling isn't about competing.
而是为了大家一起享受乐趣 It's about having fun together.
斯库利 既然你这么说 Well, now that you put it that way, Scully,
我突然意识到罗莎和泰瑞是对的 it makes me realize Rosa and Terry are right.
我们就退出比赛 I say we quit the competition
然后扔东西砸运输署那些家伙 and hurl projectiles at the MTA.
干嘛呢 大伙 What's up, y'all?
猜猜谁刚刚救了你们 Guess who just saved your asses?
没错 That's right.
就是这位不够格表演节奏口技的女士 Miss Not Good Enough To Audibly Percuss.
- 谁 - 我 是我拯救了你们 - Who? - Me! I saved the flipping day.
我把派翠克灌醉了 听 Got Patrick drunk, listen.
? 我可以歌唱 ? ? I can sing ?
搞什么 桑提亚戈 Are you serious, Santiago?
这怎么说都有点不道德 That is ethically questionable.
这回是公交车在警车上拉屎 It's a bus pooping on a police car.
我们一定要打倒这些混蛋 Let's beat those bastards.
应该就是这里了 Okay, this looks like the place.
我们进去打倒这些坏人吧 Now, let's get in there and take down some bad boys.
没错 我们会的 等十分钟后 Hell yes, let's do that, in 10 minutes
援兵赶到 然后才去 after backup arrives, and not until then.
听着 我希望今天为尼古拉耶过一个特别的节日 Look, I want this to be a very special day for Nikolaj.
可那伙人都有武器 There's a gang of armed men in there.
而且我们完全不了解里面的情况 and we've done zero recon.
我不会让你去的 我认真的 I won't let you go in, I mean it.
好吧 All right.
我们等后援 We'll wait for back up.
很好 谢了 Great, thank you.
但我是不会等的 Only I'm not waiting.
什么 查尔斯 不 What? Charles, no.
查尔斯 别挤了 Charles, stop scooching.
我就要挤 不用你告诉我 I am going to scooch, You don't tell me
- 该干什么 - 我出不去了 - when to scooch. - I can't get by.
- 都怪我性感的翘臀 - 看吧 幸运的伯耶尔家族 - Curse my beautiful bubble butt - See, all Boyle men are blessed
都长着扁平屁股 正适合挤出去 with a flat ass, which is perfect for scooching.
- 你为什么要这么做 - 因为我 - Why are you acting this way? - 'Cause I made a promise
答应了我儿子 你不会明白的 to my son, You can't understand 'cause
因为你不是一个父亲 你永远都不会是 you're not a father, You never will be.
- 喂 我当然会做父亲 - 几时 杰克 - Hey, yes, I will! - When, Jake?
大家都拭目以待呢 We're all waiting.
我们现在到底在争论个什么 What are we even arguing about now?
争论我要拯救圣诞节 笨蛋 It's about me saving Christmas, duh.
可恶 我的裤子被勾住了 Oh, damn it, my pants are snagged.
这下你非得等支援不可了 Ha-hah! Now you have to wait for backup,
不 并不需要 No, I don't.
我要把裤子抖下来 I'm gonna shimmy them off.
天啊 这眼神交会才是最难受的 Oh, God, the eye contact is the worst part.
跟你说了 杰克 I told you, Jake.
为了让儿子高兴 我会不择手段 I'll do anything to perk up my little man.
你明白只穿着内裤说这话有多恶心吧 You gotta know how gross that sounds in your underwear.
感谢各位让我们重返舞台 Thank you for allowing us to return.
原来并没有炸弹 Turns out there wasn't a bomb.
其实是一名优秀的少数族裔学生做的闹钟 It was a clock made by an over-achieving minority student.
我们生活在一个怎样的世界啊 What a world we live in.
现在 让我们放声歌唱吧 Now let's sing.
? 普世欢腾 救主降临 ? Joy to the world, the Lord is come
? 大地迎接她的君王 ? Let Earth receive her king
? 惟愿众人 ? Let everyone
? 来吃我的屁吧 ? Eat my farts
对 我就这么说了 纽约烂透了 Yeah, I said it, New York City sucks.
霍博肯一生推 Hoboken for life!
我现在不能跟你讲电话 杰克 忙着呢 Can't talk right now, Jake, I'm a busy little bee.
等等 等等 别挂 Wait, wait, wait, Don't hang up,
跟我说说情况 Just tell me what's going on
这样等后援来了我才知道派他们去哪 so I know where to send backup when it arrives.
我在装货间北角 Uh, I'm north of the loading bay.
正盯着货物呢 这里只有十个人 I have eyes on the shipment. There are only ten guys,
只有 这也太多人了 Only? That's too many guys.
他们正在搬运枪支 They're removing guns.
好了 他们在搬另外一些箱子... All right, they're taking the other boxes...
不 他们在烧箱子 他们会烧了拉脱维亚队长的 Oh, no, they're burning them. They're gonna burn Captain Latvia.
我得马上过去 I have to go right now.
太冒险了 他们有武器太多了 It's too risky. They have a ton of weapons.
不管了 我要冲进去 Doesn't matter. I'm going in there,
谁都阻止不了 and no one can stop me.
里加之锤 居然真的管用 The Riga Hammer. It works.
我在什么地方 Ugh, where am I?
我为什么会穿着长裤 Why the hell am I wearing pants?
我帮你穿的 就在我用里加之锤敲晕了你之后 Oh, I put 'em back on you after I Riga Hammered you.
没错 真的管用 Yeah, it works.
棒棒哒 Insane.
听着 我不能让你单枪匹马冲进去 Look, I couldn't let you go in there solo.
对不起 救了你的命我感到十分抱歉 I'm sorry. I feel terrible for saving your life.
别再傻乎乎地道歉了 杰克 Enough of your dumb apologies, Jake.
特警组已经到了 我们现在就去端掉那帮坏蛋 SWAT's here, we have to move on these guys now.
不 查尔斯 当我看见 No, Charles, you know what I realized
你穿着内裤站在那里时 你知道我想到了什么吗 when I saw you standing over there in your underwear?
我的屁股就像一块性感的石膏板吗 That my butt is like a sexy piece of drywall?
什么 才不咧 恶心死了 What? No, eww.
你们还要废话吗 今晚是圣诞夜诶 You guys gonna be much longer? It's Christmas Eve,
再等一下下 马文 Just give us one sec, Marv.
不 我意识到你能给尼古拉耶的最好的礼物 No, what I realized is, the best gift you can give Nikolaj
不是拉脱维亚队长 is not Captain Latvia.
- 什么 - 是你 好好活着 - What? - It's you, being there
- 陪伴着他 - 可我答应过他... - with him, alive. - But I promised him...
对 可你也答应过他 Yeah, but you also promised him
会做他的父亲 you were gonna be his father.
我担心要错过进攻时机了 I'm worried we're gonna lose tactical.
走开 马文 我们知道了 Back off, Marv, we get it.
- 拜托 马文 - 听着 没有你我们也能搞定 - Come on, Marvin. - Look, we can handle this without you.
- 回家去吧 - 谢谢 杰克 - Just go home. - Thanks, Jake.
还有 抱歉我说你永远不会当爸爸 And I'm sorry I said you'll never be a dad.
你一定会当上爸爸 而且你今晚就能美梦成真 You will be, and you can make it happen tonight.
去找艾米 记得完事后一定要让她 Just go to Amy and make sure afterwards that she holds
抱膝贴在胸前 保持至少... her knees to her chest for at least...
行了 这个就不用了 All right, I think I'm good on this.
- 好的 - 嗯 - Okay. - Yeah.
好了 马文 All right, Marv,
老实跟我说 be honest with me.
你觉得这件T恤怎么样 What do you think of this shirt?
有点不和谐 It's a little inappropriate.
我就知道 好了 I knew it. All right,
数到三就行动 好了吗 let's just go on three. Ready?
一 二 上上上 One, two, go, go, go, go, go, go.
运输署又一次打败了我们 Once again, the MTA has bested us.
我们压根就不该信任一个霍博肯的酒鬼 We should never have trusted a Hoboken drunk.
《汉密尔顿》真是太赞了 "Hamilton" was amazing!
怎么竟然没人聊这个音乐剧 How is no one talking about this musical?
好看到爆炸 It's so good.
你们的脸色比阿龙·伯尔还难看 Wow, you guys look more upset than Aaron Burr, sir.
这个梗是从音乐剧《汉密尔顿》来的 That's from the musical "Hamilton"
说实在的 我才刚发现这个梗 which I just discovered, basically.
我们输掉了圣诞颂歌比赛 We lost the caroling competition.
现在我们恨透了唱歌 And now we hate singing.
跟我们痛恨运输署的程度差不多 Almost as much as we hate the MTA.
对 我们应该打他们的举报热线 Yeah, so we should prank call their tip line
用一系列精心设计的侮辱性语言去骚扰他们 with a series of well-crafted insults.
我们应该往他们办公楼扔厕纸 We should toilet paper their houses.
- 里面包着石头 - 大家别这样 - With rocks. - Come on, guys.
报复他人不是圣诞精神 Getting back at people isn't what Christmas is all about.
圣诞精神是团结友爱 就像家人一样 It's about being together, as a family.
所以你们尽可以密谋小家子气的报复 而我 So you can plot your petty revenge, but I, for one,
要用圣诞颂歌把我的心声唱出来 am gonna carol my heart out.
不好意思 你刚才说的我一个字也没听进去 I'm sorry, I didn't hear a word you just said.
你裤子上那块污渍跟布莱恩·克兰斯顿一模一样 That stain on your pants looks exactly like Bryan Cranston.
- 原来是他呀 - 这就对了 - That's who it is. - Ooh, that's right.
- 嗯 我都盯了一个小时了 - 原来如此 - Yeah, been staring at it for an hour. - That's it.
- 嗨 - 杰克 怎么样 - Hey. - Jake, what happened?
我们逮捕了十二个人 Well, we arrested 12 guys,
查抄了三十五把自动武器 confiscated 35 automatic weapons,
而且我找到了拉脱维亚队长 and I found Captain Latvia.
真的吗 老天啊 You did? Oh, my God!
已经融化了 我找到的时候已经融成一团了 Uh, melted, I found him extremely melted.
奇形怪状的 早点拿出来 And grotesque. Probably should've
- 就好了 - 没关系了 - strung that together faster. - Well, that's okay.
你教我认识到了 圣诞节的重点不是礼物 You taught me that Christmas isn't about presents.
不 忘了那些屁话吧 礼物才是王道 No, forget all that crap. Presents rule.
给 送他这个吧 你送的 Here, give him this. From you.
是个警察 跟你一样 爸爸 It's a police man, just like you, Papa.
这是最酷的礼物了 This is the coolest present ever.
"我是爸爸警探 我要去农贸市场了 "I'm Detective Papa, and I'm going to go to the Farmers Market.
希望那里有陈年高达干酪" I hope they have aged Gouda."
天啊 我要融化了 Oh, my God, I'm melting.
我真的要化成一摊水了 I'm literally turning into a puddle.
吉纳维芙 抱住我 Genevieve, hold me.
抱住你了 宝贝 I got you, babe.
亲爱的 你那扁扁的屁股正好压在我的子宫上了 Oh, honey, that flat ass is perched right on top of my ute,
看在孩子的份上 I'm gonna pretend none
我要假装这句话没说过 of that was said for the sake of the child.
等一下 那是... 斯库利吗 Wait a minute, is that... Scully?
? 五只金戒指 ? Five golden rings
? 四只鸣唱的鸟儿 三只法国母鸡 两只斑鸠 ? Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves
? 以及一只站在梨树上的鹧鸪鸟 ? And a partridge in a pear tree
大家好 我想来散播一下圣诞快乐气氛 Hey, guys, thought I'd spread the Christmas cheer.
好呀 你就站在外面独唱圣诞歌吗 Cool, so you're just out here caroling solo?
对 可以这么说吧 Yeah, I guess you could say that.
不 不能这么说 他不是独唱 No, you can't. He's not solo.
- 你们来啦 - 我们当然要来 - You guys came. - Damn right we did.
一 二 一二三... A one, a two, a one, two, three...
? 冲破大风雪 我们坐在雪橇上 ? ? Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh ?
他们唱得真难听 爸爸 They're really bad singers, Papa.
没错 简直惨不忍听 Yes, they are. They're horrible.
? 铃声响叮当 你的精神多欢畅 ? ? Bells on bobtail ring, making spirits ?