本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业用途
-==http://www.ragbear.com== 幕后危机 第一季第1集
谢谢 Thank you.
早 Morning.
早 早 早 早 Morning, morning, morning, morning.
-=破烂熊字幕组=- 翻译：帥子 校对：tpring cotton 调轴：tpring
早呀 克里夫 让我来拿 谢谢 Morning, Cliff. Let me take that. Thank you.
熬了整晚折腾这些破玩意 是呀 Up all night with these bloody things. Yep.
这种关头 真见鬼 At a time like this, for God's sake.
我要吃个披萨 ...going to have a pizza.
能给我份摘要吗? 谢谢 Can I have the digest? Thank you.
这些收起来 .. putting them off.
你不介意拿着它们吧? Would you mind taking them?
喔 不介意 怎么了? Oh. No. Why?
马尔科姆来了 马尔科姆? 在哪? Erm, Malcolm's there. Malcolm? Where?
在里面? 为什么? In there? Why?
在你办公室 只是过来打个招呼 In your office. It's just a social call.
打招呼? 老天 是啊 A social call? Jesus Christ. Yeah.
给他倒了咖啡没? 什么? have you got him coffee? what?
招待马尔科姆·塔克咖啡没? Has Malcolm Tucker got coffee?
没有 我以为你会安排... No, I thought you were organising...
天杀的 给他...倒咖啡 还有... Oh, for Chriest's... Get him... Get coffee, get, erm...
丹麦酥 牛角包 丹麦酥 牛角包 Get danish pastries, croissants...
不对 要水果 很多水果 No, no, fruit. Get lots of fruit.
能弄来水果吗? Can you get fruit?
大堆水果 大壶咖啡 马上 水果 Pile of fruit and lots of coffee, now. Fruit...
不 他没用 他一文不值 No, he's useless. He's absolutely useless.
他没用 他是个橡皮糖做的假老二 He is useless, he's as useless as a marzipan dildo.
好的 我挂了 大臣刚进来了 All right. Got to go. Minister's just walked in.
别理我 你说你的 Don't interrupt your call cos of me.
不不 你是内阁大臣 No, You're a Minister of the Crown,
你就不用听我瞎侃胡诌了 you don't need to listen to all of my fucking chutney.
肯定比胡诌有意思吧 I'm sure it's more interesting than chutney.
不不 又是我犯迷糊了而已 No it's just my cock-up.
我以为做简报的是格拉汉·狄森 I thought Graham Dixon was doing a briefing
其实是格拉汉·休斯 but it was Graham Hughes.
叫格拉汉的太多 毙掉几个才好 Too many Grahams. We ought to kill some of them.
确实 那么... Exactly. So...
真抱歉那杯挨千刀的咖啡 So. God, I'm sorry about the fuck-up about the coffee.
我这个部门领导怎么当的 How am I supposed to run a bloody department
连给首相的执行官准备咖啡都想不到? if I can't get the PM's enforcer a cup of fucking coffee?
没关系 听着 这事是这样的 That's OK. the thing is,
你在这干得太棒了 克里夫 you're doing a bloody good job here, Cliff.
你看 报纸上写满关于 Cos with all this shit in the paper about
我是去是留的胡话 是啊 whether I'm going or not... Yeah
你看了... 泰莉 能把邮报拿进来吗? Terri, can you bring the Mail in, please?.
看邮报了吗? Have you seen the Mail?.
是叫"劳顿命悬一线"吧? Is that "Lawton dangles by a thread"?.
对 "命悬一线" Yeah. "Dangles by a thread".
不用了 我们有了 It's all right, we've got...
"劳顿命悬一线" "Lawton dangles by a thread".
我们有一份了 好了 拿着 We've got it, it's OK. Do keep it.
好 不 就放那吧 多谢了泰莉 Yep. No. Just leave it there. Thank you very much, Terri.
这言论满天飞 是吧? There's a lot, isn't there?.
每日电讯报起的头 It started in the Telegraph Diary
然后就越传越玄 越传越玄 but just more and more and more and more.
老实说 首相个人很喜欢你 Seriouely, the PM likes you personally.
我个人喜欢你 I like you personally.
我们绝没想过要甩掉你 And we have no desire to get rid of you.
我只想让你知道 I just want you to know
这些消极的言论都不是出自我们 none of this negative stuff is coming from us.
马尔 老兄 这实在是... Oh, Mal, mate, that's...
让我觉得安全多了 是吗? that makes me feel a lot more secure. Does it?
呃 这很艰难 什么 什么艰难? Well, it's difficult. What? What's difficult?
日复一日头条大标题 一天又一天 Just endles headlines day after day. On and on.
不断地削弱信心 绝对是 Chipping away at confidence. Absolutely.
你瞧 问题是 我们开始显得手软了 You see, the thing is that we are starting to look weak.
人人都说 Everybody's saying,
"他什么时候走? 他什么时候走?" "When's he gonna go? When's he gonna go? "
哦 你不想害我们显得手软吧? Right. And you don't want us to look weak, do you?
不想 不想 No, no.
那就是啦 So there you are.
这就是为什么你非走不可 That's why you've got to go.
不 是的 No. Yes.
不 No.
需要咖啡吗? 滚开 Would you like some coffee? Fuck off.
茶? 闪一边去 亲爱的 Tea? You fuck off, darling.
马尔科姆 你看... Malcolm, look, erm...
你这一动手 我就落进丛林了 你说呢? if you do this, it's the jungle out there, you know?
他们是群恶狼 气急败坏的恶狼 They're like wolves. Pissed wolves.
我已发了声明 I've made the announcement.
我跟议员们说你会离开 克里夫 I've told the lobby you're going, Cliff.
你跟议员们说了我会走? You've told the lobby I'm going?.
是的 抱歉 克里夫 Yeah. Sorry, Cliff.
叫我大臣 是 习惯被叫克里夫吧 Minister. Yeah. Get used to Cliff.
我帮你订了首相府的 I've booked you the usual
例行挥泪告别秀 还有20分钟 soapy tit wank farewell at No 10 in 20 mins
辞呈我也帮你拟好了 I've also drafted you a letter of resignation.
你可以说你是辞职 不是被炒 You can say you're jumping before you're pushed
虽然我们会宣称你就是被炒 抱歉 though we're gonna be briefing you were pushed.
你看 知道吗 其实你们不必这样的 Look, tell you what, you don't need to do all this.
炒汤姆怎样? 谁都知道他搅糊了交通部 What about Tom? Everybody knowe he's fucking up Transport.
我们不能炒汤姆 We can't sack Tom,
交通部一兵一卒都不能丢 他们很重要 we can't lose anyone at Transport, they're important.
社会事务部不重要吗? And Social Affairs isn't?
是 社会事务部是很重要 OK, the Department of Social Affairs is very important
但它不是交通部 but it's not Transport.
交通部管的是汽车 公交 卡车 Transport's cars, buses, trucks...
我晓得交通部都管着啥 I know what Transport fucking entails!
等等 等等 Look, look...
好吧 我看看这信 Look, I'll look at it.
个人原因 Personal reasons.
嗯 我想这能给你回旋的余地 I thought that would give you adequate scope.
余地 比如...在内阁里开枪扫射? Scope. What, like shooting up in the Cabinet Office?
屁股里塞着猫打飞机? 什么叫余地？ Stuffing a cat up my arse and having a wank? What scope?
这已经很不错了 This could be a great deal worse.
你任内表现挺好 也干了18个月 You have had a good innings, been here for 18 months.
你不知道 我写了多少好话 And I have written some very nice things about you
在首相给你的辞呈回复里 in the PM'e reply to your resignation.
简直好到掉渣 Some very nice fucking things indeed.
我都哽咽了 你知道为什么吗? I had a lump in my throat. And you know why?
因为没有哪个重要的人为这件事怪你 Because no one who matters thinks less of you over this,
暂时还没有 明白? so far. OK?
就这样 另一件事 Right. One more thing.
每日邮报 The Daily Mail.
大卫·托珀一心以为 David Topham has got it into his head
我们会迫于媒体压力炒你 that we sack you because of press pressure.
真没想到哈 喂 I wonder why. Look...
你没资格指三道四了 结束了 you're in no position to dish out sarcasm. That's over.
你的评论权已经归零了 快打电话 You no longer have purchase in the sarcasm world.
告诉他你主动辞职 Tell him you're jumping before you're pushed
虽然我们确实在逼你 although we were going to push you
不是迫于媒体压力 but not because of press pressure
而是因为你旮旯角落里窝着的 but because of your deeply held
某个个人问题 fucking personal issues
你要我写自己的讣告 You want me to write my own obituary.
快打那要命的电话 马上 Get on the fucking phone now.
谢谢 Thank you.
早 Morning.
(社会事务部) DoSA
早上好 你看了泰晤士报吗? Good morning. Have you seen the Times?
没 乔·雪曼跟我们玩阴的 No. Jo Cherman's been a bit of a bitch.
她一向如此 是呀 She always is. Yeah.
方案中的每件事都微不足道 Everything in this package is small...
那我们下去宣布 We go down and say it,
让当地的那些乡巴佬拍拍照 the local yokels will take the photos,
很简单 20分钟就够 it's easy. 20 minutes is enough.
休来了 早呀 休 Hugh's here now. Morning, Hugh.
早上好 跟我来 Good morning. Come on.
泰莉 嘘 我有些重要的事要说 Terri... Shush, I've got something important to say.
小奥 我为我们争取到一些事 Olly. I've got something for us.
我帮我们捞到了一份 I've got us a very,
很肥很肥的美差 因为 very tasty little morsel because...
今早我和我的好朋友大英首相聊了一下 this morning I had a chat with my friend the PM of GB...
嚯 是的 然后... Ooh. Yes. And, erm...
还记得那个...呃 Remember the, erm... erm...
小奥 你的社保欺诈组... Olly, your benefit unit fraud...
反社保欺诈部 ABFE Anti-Benefit Fraud Executive. ABFE.
ABFE 嗯 "老鼠会" ABFE. Erm, Scrounger Squad.
"捕鼠队" Snooper Squad.
听起来不是暗示要政府花钱吗? The one with the spending implications?
对 首相明确表态了 The PM's view is very much
"去他妈的暗示 这个我爱听" "fuck the spending implications, I like it. "
好 所以 我们就这么办了 Good. So this is us. We're on the map.
这对我是个机会 格伦 A chance for me, Glenn,
可以登陆"理查与朱蒂"脱口秀 to get on Richard&Judy,
在他们的破沙发上插面旗子 plant that flag right on their fucking sofa.
这么说首相已经授权你发布了 是吗? So the PM's authorised you to announce it, has he?
他示意了很多次了 明明白白 That's very much what he signalled. Very clearly.
他说他绝对挺我们 He said he's right behind us on this
这正是我们该做的事 and it's what we should be doing.
太好了 This is great.
今天下午的校园演说可以宣布了 So we can do it this afternoon at the school.
开个全面的记者会 抱歉 We can clear the press conference... Excuse me.
对 我们炒作两次 好吗? We'll double bubble it,
先漏给标准报曝光 leak it to the Standard early editions
然后BBC1点环球栏目跟进 如何? and trail it on The World At One, yes?
我告诉你怎么办 we need someone
得找个标准报的人漏消息 at the Standard we can give this to.
安吉拉·希尼如何? What about Angela Heaney?
她现在标准报吧 小奥? She's at the Standard now, isn't she? Olly?
呃 对 她在 Erm... yes, she is.
你不觉得她可能级别不够吗? 我看... Do you not think that maybe she's a bit junior, I think.
不就是你的前女友 伤透了你的心 Bit too much like your ex broke your heart
一条短信就甩了你 and dumped you with a TXmsg
是他妈的电邮 不是短信 It was a fucking email, not a text message.
我们把消息给她 她会照我们意思写 We give it to her, she'll write what we want.
她很好摆平 很好摆平 She's easy. She is easy.
我看得出你们踌躇满志 I can see that you've all got big,
死心塌地 全盘压上要冲这个 stiff,hard-one for this...
你是说? 它很棒 我没说它不棒 Sorry? And it's nice, I'm not saying that's not nice.
但是 泰莉 But... but Terri.
今天下午绝不可能把一切都说清楚 ...there is no way we're gonna clear it by this afternoon.
怎么不能? 先别慌 Why not? So cool it,
我给财政部的保罗打个电话 and I'll ring Paul at the Treasury.
不不不 No, no, no!
绝不要打电话给财政部 谢谢 No phone calls to the Treasury, thank you.
如果你打给财政部 If you call the Treasury,
让别人抢先一步宣布 to get anyone near the announcement
他就得换上服务生行头 he's going to dress as catering
托着个托盘给人送饮料和柠檬片了 with a tray of drinks and sliced lemons.
我可不要这么干 I'm not doing that.
我只是照程序走 泰莉 I'm just going by procedure. Terri.
我喜欢规规矩矩做事 I love doing things the right way,
光明磊落 我们大家都喜欢 that ethical stuff. we all do.
但你也知道 But you know it's very difficult
第一个缴械投降的人会很难办 to be the first to put your gun down
因为别人会把你的脑袋 people jump on your head
当西瓜一顿乱踩 我们可不想那样吧? like a ripe watermelon. We don't want that
首相都拍板了 首相官阶高过财政部 The PM is above the Treasury in the hierarchy.
我可以给你画个图 随你 I can write it down on a chart. Whatever.
谢谢 很好 大臣 我这就去办 Thank you. I'll get to it, Minieter.
你只做你分内的事 You're just doing your job.
还做的不咋样 Not very well.
能让安吉拉接电话吗? 小奥找她 Will you get Angela on the phone for Olly?
你能搞定吧 小奥? 谢谢 You can deal with this Olly, yes?
那个司机 是我的固定司机吗? The driver, will it be my usual driver?
是的 休 我一点都不喜欢他 Yes, Hugh. I don't fucking like him.
怎么? 他...我不知道 He's... I don't know.
我觉得他看不起我 I think he despises me.
我们今天只有他 We'll have to use him today,
你知道公用后勤系统怎么运转 you know how the pool syetem works.
我们今天要去学校...呃 我们要... So we go down to the school... erm... have to...
他一股傲气 那个司机? He's sort of contemptuous. The driver?
我觉得他鄙视我 I feel like he looks down on me.
不会的 休 他喜欢你 我确定 No, Hugh, he likes you, I'm sure.
1点环球播报 尼克·克拉克为您主持 The World At 1. This is Nick Clarke...
多谢你可以滚了 You can fuck off for a start.
社会事务部部长休·艾伯特 The Social Affairs Secretary Hugh Abbot
晚上好 Evening.
第一个登场 头条出炉 First story up. Top of the bill.
...统一立项编制 俗称"捕鼠军团" .. a uniformed, so-called Snooper Force.
这一声明显示 社务部在 It suggests the DSA has
向财政部施压 以启动更多财政拨款 pushed the Treasury into releasing funds
我们不禁要问 so we'll ask,
财政部是否失去了主要... is the Treasury losing its central...
对 没错 时机正好 Yes, it is, and not before time!
社务部发言人马克·戴维斯·内森逊 ...Social Affairs spokesman Mark Davis Nathenson...
如果你能把他拖出浴缸 If you can get him out of the bath!
但首先 昨晚班加罗尔的 But first, the fatalities from
严重火车事故造成的死亡人数 the train disaster in Bangalore
已快速攀升 哈 太妙了 have risen overnight... Well, that's marvelloue.
哦 是塔克 马尔科姆 Oh, Tucker. Malcolm.
你搞什么飞机? What the fuck was that?
那什么捕鼠军团是你弄的? Was this Snooper Force thing from you?
马尔科姆 我跟首相谈过 Malcolm, I talked to the PM,
他觉得这完全妥当 this is completely kosher to him.
他批准了的 知道吗? He gave the go-ahead and he said,
还说要跳过财政部 you know, bounce the Treasury.
你还不懂 我们在17个不同的议题上 We have got 17 different issues
跟财政部打拉锯战 we are fighting with the Treasury about.
我能听得出 你跟平常一样 很沮丧 I can hear that you are, as usual, upset...
我告诉你我为什么沮丧 我沮丧是因为 I'll tell you why I'm upset. I'm upset because
财政部那帮弱智 these fucking morons at the Treasury,
那帮人 都是偏执狂 these people, they are so paranoid.
如果你不事先知会他们这事 If you don't tell them about this stuff,
不在电邮上抄送他们 don't even cc them on email,
他们就认为你在搞宫廷政变 they think you've started a palace coup.
马尔...马尔科姆 Mal... Malcolm...
你似乎还不明白 You don't seem to understand
我马上就得清扫这帮变态 I'm going to have to mop up
暴风骤雨一样泼来的粪了 a hurricane of piss from these neurotics.
首相原话怎么对你说的? What did the Prime Minieter actually say to you?
他的原话是 "这正是我们该做的事情 " "This is the kind of thing we should be doing. "
他原话怎么说? What did he actually say?
他说 "这正是我们该做的事情 " "This is exactly the sort of thing we should be doing. "
该做 该做不代表去做 Should be doing. Should does not mean yes.
现在唯一要做的 there's only thing to do here
是我叫你做的事 and it's what I'm going to tell you to do.
掐灭它 我不能掐了它 Kill it. I can't kill it.
我正在去宣布的路上 I'm on my way to make the announcement.
那里会有电视台摄像机 长枪短炮的 There's gonna be television cameras there and everything.
管它什么摄像机 凑其他段子说 Fuck the cameras. Think of something else to say.
就是别提新复仇者 Just don't mention the... New Avengers
或什么捕鼠军团 随便什么狗屁名字 or the Snooper Force, whatever the fuck you call it.
丑闻终结者? 做掉它 Scam Busters? Get rid of it.
我不想再听到它 拜 I don't want to hear about it again. Bye.
休 跟我说说 Hugh, talk to me.
休 发生什么了? 怎么回事? Hugh, what's going on? What's the matter?
我们要立马 We're going to have to do
运转好几件事 好 什么? a number of things almost immediately.
怎么了? 怎么回事? 见鬼 What? What's the problem? Fuck.
怎么了 休 怎么了? What? Hugh, what?
别再问怎么了 Stop saying what.
好的 我不该上钩的 我上钩了 Right. I was sucked in!
塔克要插手? 我想他是对的 Is this Tucker jumping on this? I think he was right.
那混账总是对的 He's always fucking right.
不 他并不总是对的 No, he's not always right.
"该做" Should...
它等于"去做"吗? does it mean yes?
是的 我们该做这事 Yes, we should do this.
休 塔克跟我说话的时候 Hugh. When Tucker was talking to me
"该做"不代表"去做" 我说 真的两码事 should didn't mean yes. I mean, it really didn't.
这...我...我觉得像个傻瓜 It... I just... I felt like a fool.
这里不错 对 这里很棒 This is nice. Yeah, this is very nice.
这只是工作 对吧? This is just work, isn't it?
我是说 我们不是在... I mean, we're not...
不不 一点都没有 绝无此意 Yeah, no, absolutely. Nothing like that.
因为 你知道的 截稿时间... It's just, you know, deadline.
对 当然...我是想说... Yeah, sure, erm... Something like, erm...
社会事务部大臣休·艾伯特 Social Affaire Minister Hugh Abbot
今天将宣布 will today announce
一项强硬的新举措 以打击社保欺诈者 a tough new crackdown on benefit fraudsters.
嗯 分段 Erm. Paragraph.
对 标点我还是会用的 小奥 Yeah, I can do the punctuation, Olly.
抱歉 我知道了 Sorry, yeah, I see.
其实 我打了个草稿 写在... I did have it written down a bit better, on...
我都写在一张纸上了 I've got it on a thing on a piece of paper.
那太好了 小奥 能给我吗? That's fantastic, Olly. Can I just have that?
当然 是的 方便快捷 Sure, yeah. Easier all round.
上面都写清楚了吧 那当然 It's should all be there. Certainly is.
重点我都用大写标明了 I've done it in capitals and everything...
嗯 我会说来自政府资深人士 Erm, I think I'll say senior government sources.
非常感谢 Thank you very much.
这样听起来比较可靠 喔 对 当然 It sounds better. Oh, yeah, of course.
小奥 过来 Olly, come on!
这边 小奥 这边 Over here! Olly! Over here!
抱歉 Sorry.
没事 Right.
你拿了什么? 橄榄 What's that you've got? Olives.
橄榄? 他连橄榄都买好了 Olives? He's brought his own olives.
要一个吗 格伦? Want one? Glenn?
现在的口径是 So the line is
打电话给每一个新闻中心 call every news desk -
说那个"捕鼠军团"的消息 that the Snooper Force story
是"一个不满的公务员"放出的 明白吗? it was let out by"a disgruntled civil servant". OK?
明白 好的 还有 泰莉? OK, great. And, Terri?
你不要用那种口气 好吗? You can drop that tone, all right?
哪种口气? What tone?
那种"我早就知道"的口气 The "I knew better all along" tone.
现在不是幸灾乐祸的时候 It isn't fucking appreciated right now.
拜 Bye.
事实是 这个消息不是个消息 The thing is, the story isn't a story.
你什么意思? What do you mean?
捕鼠军团不会有了 The Snooper Force,
这事自始至终不存在 None of that's actually happening.
我做不来 你非做不可 I can't do this. You've got to do this.
我是说 是的 我... I mean, yeah, I... You know,
一边阅读 一边说话 我晕车 reading, talking, I get car sick.
我需要停车 我们得停车 I've got to stop, we've got to stop.
老天哪 Jesus Christ.
你能在下个停车带停一下吗? Do you think you could pull in at the next lay-by?
无论对这个部门还是对政府来说 As far as the department and the Government are concerned,
都没有捕鼠军团这码事 there is no Snooper Force.
发生什么事了? 财政部发飙了? What's going on? Has the Treasury gone ballistic?
不是 不是 那为什么半路跳票? No, no... Why this flip-flop?
不是 没有跳票 根本没有这回事 No, there's no flip-flop. Nothing like that!
不是 呃 这不是...政策上的改变 No, erm, this isn't a... change in policy
从任何角度都不是 in any... in any respect.
不是那样的 到底怎么了 小奥? No. What's going on, Olly?
因为 呃 其实是我 Bec... No, well, the truth is that I...
打肿脸充胖子 你在说什么? acted beyond my brief. What are you talking about?
我不知道 我只是...想在你面前逞逞能 I just kind of wanted to play the big man in front of you.
都是你自己瞎编的? 不是 You just made something up? No!
听着 安吉拉 我实在很抱歉 Listen, Angela, I am really so sorry.
如果这对你有用 If it's any help,
我们现在统一的口径是 the line that we're giving to everybody else
有一个不满的公务员 is that there's a disgruntled civil servant,
他透露的消息 你手上有名字吗? they leaked the story. Have you got a name?
我有没有这个不满公务员的名字? Do I have a name for the disgruntled civil servant?
德里克 德里克? Derek. Derek?
泰莉 泰莉 Terri. Terri.
不是 我们得编个名字 No, we're just going to pick a name
我们得编个名字 我很抱歉 just going to pick a name. I'm so sorry.
我很抱歉 小奥 这太荒谬了 I'm so sorry. Olly, this is ridiculous.
这不是... 是你故意的吧? It is not fucking... Did you plan all this?
我今天最不想干的莫过于 The last thing I want to do is
在他妈游乐园旁边大马路上 be stuck in a lay-by by Wacky Warehouse,
乞求我的前女友 begging my ex-girlfriend.
好吧 那 All right. So...
我一会究竟要怎么解释 what the hell am I going to say
为什么要召集 is the reason for me summoning
全国所有主要媒体 all the nation's major news organisations
到威尔特郡的一个学校? to a school in Wiltshire?
你想要个热辣 吸引眼球 You want something sexy, eye-catching
不花钱 大家喜闻乐见 and that is free and universally popular
容易上手 而且没人能反对的话题? instantly applicable, no one could object to it.
对 那你该早说 格伦 Yes. Well, you should have said before, Glenn,
因为我办公室里有这么厚一叠这种文件 I've got a file that thick of that back in the office.
那种政策一毛钱一打 小奥 Those policies are ten a penny! Olly!
我们整个政党宣言都是用... Our entire manifesto is made...
你的愤世嫉俗帮不上忙 It doesn't help when you get cynical.
把这个当成一次机会 Think of this as an opportunity.
我在计程车里赶不出"资本论" 格伦 I can't just come up with Das Kapital in a cab, Glenn.
小奥 拿去 剃胡子 Olly. Here, shave.
我们需要一些公众想要 What we need is something that the public want
喜闻乐见 而且免费的话题 that's incredibly popular and is free.
恢复死刑 Return of capital punishment.
这是个玩笑 对吧? That's a joke, right?
你是在开玩笑吧? 显然是 You are joking, yes? Obviously.
加油 小奥 挤出点东西来 Come on, Olly, come up with something.
全国空房数据库 National spare room database.
动物园怎么样? What about zoos?
我的孩子有天去了动物园 My kids went to a zoo and
说那里超级恶心 they said it was fucking disgusting.
你知道的 它的现况 You know, the state of it.
很垃圾 对吧? That's shit, isn't it?
不行 不过里面有个闪光点 No, but there is an idea,
在城市中央养野生动物 in the middle of the city you've got wild animals.
宠物反社会行为法令 记得吗? Pet ASBOe? Remember that?
宠物的反社会行为法令 ASBOe for pets.
不 这个太容易闹笑话了 That sounds ludicrous,
不过宠物护照 可能有戏? then pet passports, that was a goer.
法定每个人必须携带一个塑料袋呢? What if everybody had to carry a plastic bag by law?
你知道身份证快实行了... You know identification carde are coming in...
你癫得没药救了 你疯了啊? You've fucking cracked. Are you mad?
要不宣布...压根没有什么重要声明 What if the announcement is... there's no big announcement.
我的天 不 等等 For goodness... No, wait.
我们说社会事务部一直做得很好 We say the DoSA has been doing amazing work,
实实在在的工作 稳稳当当的工作 bread-and-butter work, belt-and-braces work,
你们谁都不关心的工作 the kind of work you aren't interested
因为它不够炫 媒体看不上眼 cos it's not shiny media-friendly
你们这群变态成天醉心于追风 You sickos are so obeeeeed with the media
变态 Sickos.
每次我们想要...好好做日常工作 .. that every time we try and... just carry on with our day
你们都不出现 所以我们得假装有大事 you don't show up, so we have to call a big thing
正中要害 也不花钱 草根政治 On target, under budget... Coalface politics.
是 我喜欢这个 也不浪费资源 Yes, I like that. Not wasting resources.
好 就说这个 就这么办吧 Good, let's do that. Let's go for that.
蒙住他们 晃花他们的眼睛 We trick them. Tinselly thing
等他们来了就说... and they come along and we say...
"啊 我们就在做这个" "Ah, that's what we've been doing,
"做他妈的日常工作" we've been doing our fucking jobs! "
他们绝对不会刊登的 对吧? They never print that stuff, do they?
对 花两个小时奔出伦敦 就报道了这个 You've come two hours out of London to cover this...
你们这些傻瓜 你们这些傻瓜 You mugs! You mugs!
可这总比被烟幕弹骗了要有新闻价值 But you've got a bigger story here than chasing tinsel.
说的是我们国家实际... you live in a country which is...
没几个国家能这么说 Not many countries can say that.
我们估计有1000万可以砸在这上面 And we've probably got ten million we can throw at it.
那很好 听上去很多 对吧? That's good, because it sounds like a lot, doesn't it?
我这有个写着"弹性混凝土"的 I've got a springy concrete.
好像是说操场 我不知道 I think that's about the playground...
弹性混凝土? "下午好" Springy concrete? Good afternoon...
我该说 "男孩女孩们 大家好"? Should I say, "Hello, boys and girls"?
是的 非常好 Yes, very nice.
像他妈的仙女婆婆 Like a fucking panto dame.
他会在晚间新闻里说 He's gonna look ridiculous
"男孩女孩们 大家好" 洋相出大发了 on the 6:00 news saying Hello boys & girls
他是跟面前的听众打招呼 He's talking to the audience.
取之于家庭 用之于家庭 Real money for real families.
家庭还是人民? Real families or people?
家庭 人民 用之于民 Families. People. Real people.
听着 不行 得用家庭 You see? Don't... Families.
家庭听起来有些排外 Families sounds exclusive,
像梅杰(前首相)的"回到民生" it sounds back to basics, John Major.
人民有共产主义的意味 才没有 People sounds communist. It doesn't sound communist.
我会用家庭 谢谢 说人民的家庭 I'll say families. Say families of people.
艾伯特先生 Mr Abbot.
很好 上场了 准备开始了 Great. You're on. Here we go.
谢谢 Thank you.
这是你最擅长的 老兄 是呀 It's what you do best, mate. Yep.
真不错 这些很棒 This is lovely. Very nice indeed.
靠 真是惨不忍睹 Well, that was a fucking dieaster.
其实... 闭嘴 Well, that... Shut up.
谢谢 Thank you.
啊 干得不错 Ah. Well done.
标准报什么都没有说 只字未提 There's nothing in the Standard, big fat nothing.
没提? 你顺利脱身了 Nothing? You got away with it.
他开了场媒体会 无聊到 He's created a press conference so boring
没有一家媒体愿意提 that none of the press will touch it.
天才 Genius.
太他妈牛了 老兄 你挽回了局势 Fucking well done, mate. You turned it around.
嘿 你真的翻盘了 老兄 Well, you really pulled it round, mate.
枪林弹雨中 你给了我一件防弹衣 I took the flak, you supplied the flak jacket.
是呀 子弹都弹开了 Yeah, and the bullets bounced off,
这就是重点 格伦 是的 This is what it's all about, Glenn. Yeah.
这些年挺在第一线 摸爬滚打 All those years at the coalface, hanging in there,
什么脏活累活都干了个遍 taking all the shit. all the bullshit.
等你升为内阁资深大臣时 When you are Senior Cabinet Minister,
我们要给他们颜色看看 then we'll show them.
是呀 捕鼠军团呢? Yeah, and Snooper Force?
那堆胡话我们要清理掉 Bollocks, we'll get rid of that.
可不是嘛 悠哉地隔岸观火吧 For fuck's sake, yeah. Fiddling while Rome burns.
太对了 我们要整整某些人 Fucking right. We'll kick some arse.
我们要整些人 整些人 We'll kick some butt! Kick some butt!
这就是我们所追求的 老兄 That's what we're in it for, mate,
告诉他们我们都做了什么烂事 tell them all the shit that we do.
这是达到目标的一种手段 老兄 It's a means to an end, mate.
吓死我了 马尔科姆 你在这干嘛? Fuck me, Malcolm. How do you do that?
我能跟你谈谈吗? Can I have a word with you?
我被困住了 老兄 I'm hacked off, mate.
但我...我们掐灭它了 掐灭了 But w-w-we killed it. It-it's killed.
是的 但是一旦你点起火种…… Yeah. But once you start the fire...
我们甚至没点起火种 And we didn't start the fire.
它不烧出个燎原之势就死不休 It was always burning since the world's been turning,
就是这样 etc etc
马尔科姆 你在说什么啊 Malcolm, you're not making any senes.
首相 很显然 在去斯德哥尔摩的飞机上 Prime Minister, obviously, he's on the plane in Stockholm
有人突然问他1点环球播报的消息 and somebody hits him with The World At One.
他以为财政部在给他下马威 He thinks it's the Treasury trying to stiff him one
所以他 呃 so he, er...
他证实这个新闻了 he stuck with the story.
他喜欢? 对 他力挺"捕鼠军团" He liked it? Yeah, he's backing the Snooper Force.
喔 好吧 Oh, right.
你...我们真不该 You... We shouldn't really then have...
我是说 你真不该告诉我们去... I mean, you shouldn't really have told us to, er...
是吧? Should you?
别教训我什么不该 休 Don't should me, Hugh,
不然我会给你教训回去 cos I'll should you right back,
从那个窗户丢出去 right through that window.
这些事都不该发生 None of this should be happening,
不是吗? 该吗? 该吗? should it? Should it? Should it?
这里的"该" 是确定的意思吗? 还是... Is that should in the... sense of yes, or...?
"该"是指怎么告诉你的 It's should in the sense of
你就该怎么做 好吧 you should do as you're fucking told. ok
那么... What, erm...
我们现在怎么做? What are we gonna do now?
你要彻底转变你的立场 You're gonna completely reverse your position.
啊 不 等一等 Look, no, hang on a second.
等...马尔科姆 这不太可行 Hang... Malcolm. It's not actually that, erm...
很困难的 真的 的确 不过 That's gonna be quite hard, really. Yes, well,
你已然宣布了今天没宣布的声明 the announcement that you didn't make today, you did.
不对 不对 我没宣布 No I didn't. And there were
我瞎扯的时候 摄像机都在场 TV cameras while I was not doing it.
管他们呢 Fuck them.
我不大明白...我是活在哪一种现实里 I'm not sure What level of reality I'm operating on.
这就是他们的运作方式 Look, this is what they run with.
我告诉他们你说过 他们就相信你说过 I tell them that you said it, they believe that.
他们并不真心相信你说过 They don't really believe you said it,
他们知道你从没说过 对呀 they know you never said it. Right.
但自身利益要求他们说你说过 But it's in their interests to say you said it
因为如果谁不说你说过 because if they don't,
他明天 今后 就再别想收到 they're not gonna get what you say the next day
我决定发布的你说的话 when I decide to tell them what it is you're saying.
对 我明白了 我只是... Yeah. I-I am following this, I just...
我有个朋友曾经深陷婚外情 I had a friend who used to indulge in extramarital affairs
他一次次溜出去偷吃 He would go off, and have some dalliance
每周一又回到他的妻子身边 and every Monday he'd come back and he'd meet his wife.
他跟我说 只要自己脑子里 And he told me that all he did was
拨个小开关就行了 inside his head turn a little switch.
事情从没发生过 明白吗? 好吧 The affair never happened. OK? Right.
这不是个... 这有什么困难吗? There's not a... What is the problem with this?
问题在于...首先 我不偷情 The problem with it... I didn't get much dalliance.
灌到脑子里 把今天重演一遍 Get it into your head, rewind today in your head.
好啦 不用反复说教 OK, stop explaining it to me.
我不能不教你 老大 I have to explain it to you, man,
你在这呆的还不够久 you haven't been here long enough.
我不觉得他真要这么干 I don't think he'd be really up for that.
塔克在楼里 他什么时候来的? Tucker's in the building... When did he come in?
人都上哪去了? 我的人都去哪了? Where are all the people? Where are my people?
他们都回家了 大臣阁下 都5：40了 They've gone home, Secretary of State, it's 5:40.
好吧 嗯...仔细听好 OK. Well, erm... listen.
目前的情况...糟糕透顶 The situation is... pretty terrible,
风向彻底变了 好吗? things have changed. OK?
现在的口径是 我今天下午的确 The line is now, I did announce
在学校宣布了捕鼠军团的消息 the Force this pm at the school.
明白吗? 这才是真相 好吧? OK? That's what happened. All right?
所以你们现在得去告诉媒体 So now you have to tell the media
以防他们...忘记了 in case they... missed it.
明白吗? 很好 OK? Great.
我们得... 我就说会出这种事 What we've got to... I said this was gonna happen.
出都出了 不是谁的错 泰莉 It's happened. It's nobody's fault.
我们要做的是... What we have to do...
拜托 这不是我的错 是你们的 Excuse me. It's not my fault, it's yours.
我没说不是我的错 我说... I didn't say that...
你说这不是谁的错 You said it was nobody's fault
但这确实是你的错 也是你的错 but it's your fault and your fault.
不是我的错 It's not my fault.
你别想推卸 再推卸我就把它钉到你... If you walk away from this I'll pin it on you...
一切进展顺利? Everything OK?
你个八婆 我们被玩了 you cunt. We're fucked.
很好 Great.
这就是现实世界 泰莉 This is the real world, Terri.
我们被玩了 We are fucked.
进展如何? 不错 How's it going? Good.
我想他们可能需要点协调 I think they might need a little bit of coordination.
谁给尼基·坎贝尔打电话了? Has anyone spoken to Nicky Campbell?
我有条未接来电 尼基·坎贝尔 I've got one missed call here Nicky Campbell.
现在搞得这么复杂 其实简单得要命 It's become so complicated, it's terrifically simple.
一直都准备出台捕鼠军团的政策 There was always gonna be a Snooper Force policy.
毫无疑问 Definitely.
说是一个不满的公务员杜撰的 It's too good to have been invented by a
真是说梦话 disgruntled civil servant.
我真的很欣慰你能来 安吉拉 I'm really glad you came in, Angela.
我可能会被炒掉的 小奥 是的 Well, I could lose my job, Olly. Yeah...
我向新闻中心推了3条 I went all hot and heavy to the news desk with 3
自相矛盾的消息 一天之内 contradictory stories in 1 day.
我知道 他们给我拖鞋(又意变脸) I know. They gave me flip-flops.
你知道吗? You know?
有人跑去买了真的拖鞋送给我 Someone actually went out and bought flip-flops to give me.
哦 Yeah.
你得表扬表扬他们 这挺有趣 give them credit for that, that is quite funny.
是呀 他们还在上面贴了 Yeah, and they pasted onto them...
一张该死的黄图 a fucking porn picture
一女孩嘴里含着一大鸡巴 of a girl sucking a big cock
上面还写着"安吉拉·希尼什么都吞" and they wrote "Angela Heaney swallows anything".
这个不好玩 有些人身攻击了 That is less funny. Obviously that's quite offensive.
你最好有个好理由 Can you give me one good reason
说服我不要做个大专题 why I shouldn't do a big story
写你们的"炒作一日" 什么专题? on the, you know, the day of spin? What sort of story?
你知道的 政府部门失控的大揭秘 Inside story of a government department out of control
图表和流程图全用上 with diagrams and a flow chart
还有你的脸和名字 不 with your face and name on it No
还有格伦和休的 不 and Glenn's and Hugh's No
大大的箭头标明谁指示谁 and big arrows showing who spoke to who
怎么整出的一场闹剧 and how you all fucked it up.
这篇我能自己操刀 逗号句号随我爱用 I could write that one up myself, do the punctuation.
对对 好吧 是我的错 OK, I was patronis...
嘿 嗨 安吉拉 Hey. Hi, Angela.
我喜欢那发型 可爱的小卷发 I like the hair, nice little corkscrews.
进行得如何? How's it going?
呃 还行 Yeah, er, fine.
我们只是在...探讨为什么 We were just, er, talking about why
安吉拉不该写一个 Angela shouldn't do a big...
内幕大起底专题 story on the big insidery piece
关于"炒作一日" 登一个... kind of day of spin sort of spread in the...
报纸整版 我不知道 paper. I don't know.
也许你该写 真是个好主意 Maybe you should. Good idea.
喔 等一下 等一下 Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
我想起她为什么不该写了 I know why she shouldn't,
因为如果她写了 because if she did that
她就是咸鱼一条 在我眼里 she'd be dead to me,
在这个部门眼里 在政府眼里 to this department, to the Government.
她永远拿不到消息 And she'd never get another story,
连消息的毛都摸不到 or a fucking whiff, of a story,
只要她还敢带着那幅可悲的贱相 so long as she kept her sorry hack bitch face
钻到议会拱来拱去 lingering around Westminster
因为我会告诉每一位我认识的编辑 because I would call every editor I know,
显然那就是所有编辑 obviously that's all of them,
把她的名字从通讯簿上挖掉 and tell them to gouge her name out of their address books
让她连一份医院电台的工作都拿不到 so she'd never get a job on hospital radio,
永世不得超生 where the sad sack belongs.
这就是我会告诉她的 That's what I'd tell her.
不过还是你来转告吧 一会见 好 But maybe you should do it. See you later. Yeah.
他 他其实 He... he's actually...
他人蛮好的 He can be really nice.
漫长难熬的一天 It's been a very long day.
我没说我们没有做 I didn't say we weren't doing it,
这就等于说我们做了 which is as good as saying we were.
谢啦 拜拜 BBC今夜环球 Thanks, bye-bye. The World Tonight.
你好 我是休·艾伯特 Hello, Hugh Abbot here.
是的 不 很荣幸和"今夜环球"对话 Yes, no. Always a pleasure to speak to The World Tonight.
现在直播? Go live on air now?
是的 当然 我很乐意 Yes, of course, I'd be delighted to.
罗宾 很荣幸 很高兴与你对话 Robin, my pleaeure, nice to be with you.
是的 在我回答之前 容我说一句 Yes. Before I anewer that, may I just say
我很开心 我们都很开心 how delighted I am, as indeed we all are,
社保欺诈调查组的成立 at the excitement and enthusiasm that
让我们沉浸在激动之中 the benefit fraud inspection unit has created.
我在一场记者会上宣布了 I announced at a press conference
这个新的社保欺诈调查组 this new benefit fraud inspection unit
我们希望管它叫... which we are hoping to call...
"白鼠军"(读了白字) Sponge Avengers.
在那场记者会上... And at that press conference...
音响设备似乎有点杂音 .. there seems to have been a bit of a blip
因为不少记者没有记录下这个声明 cause many journalists didn't pick up on the announcement.
我想他们太想去挖... I think they're so much looking for...
丑闻或失职 .. scandal or incompetence.
所以 关于一个不满的公务员 So the statement that the policy was
捏造了这个政策的说法 the invention of a disgruntled civil servant
实际上是一个不满的公务员捏造的 was actually the invention of a disgruntled civil servant.
不 只有一个不满的公务员 No, there's only one disgruntled civil servant.
其中一个...是另一个捏造的 明白了吧 One of them's an invention... by the other one, you see.
任何一个认真听了的人 Anyone listening carefully
都会觉得我是疯子 will think I'm mad.
他们不会的 你说得清楚明了 They won't, it came over loud and clear.
反正这会摆平整件事 干干净净 It's gonna put the whole thing to bed anyway. Kill it.
小奥答应安吉拉 And Olly's offered Angela
写篇关于你私生活的报道 a private life piece about you.
太妙了 周日跟你家人散散步 Oh, great. A Sunday walk with the family,
诸如此类 她会检查我的藏书 that sort of thing. She's gonna be checking my books
窥探我浴室的柜子 and snooping in my bathroom cabinet
然后瞎掰我不知道 and making snide remarks about how
盖尔·波特(BBC主持人)是谁 I don't know who Gail Porter is.
我们多多少少坑了她 休 是呀 We did dick her about a bit, Hugh. Yeah.
被坑了的人会朝我们狂轰滥炸 We're getting a roasting from what has been dubbed,
不过我不会抱怨 "周五变脸日" but I wouldn't call, Flip-Flop Friday.
所以我们现在需要笼络手头所有的朋友 We need all the help from friends we can get right now.
我知道 你怎么想? I know. What do you think?
我只是...我只是想... I just... I just think that...
我要个新司机 给我换个新司机 I want a new driver. Get me a new driver.
我不想再看到这家伙 I don't want to see this guy ever again.
以什么理由? On what grounds?
微笑 不舒服的笑 Smiling. Inappropriate smiling.
假笑 微笑加假笑 And smirking. Smiling and smirking.
我不想再看到那个微笑或假笑 好吧? I don't want to see that smile or smirk ever again. OK?
谢谢 Thank you.
好 谢谢 你想从哪条路走? OK, thank you. Which way do you want to go?
黑墙隧道? 无所谓 你说了算 Blackwall tunnel? I don't care, you're the boss.
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