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简直像慢镜头 It seemed like slow motion.
我有充裕时间回答问题 I had time to answer questions.
这是我见过你最自如的时刻 You looked the most relaxed I've seen.
嗯 你有没有看到他... Yeah, and did you see it when he...
小奥 当我丢出你写的 Olly, did you see him when I said your thing about,
"对在野党 最是无情安家处" in the opposition's case,
你看到他的脸没? home is where the heartlessness is?
看到了 Yeah
看他受伤的表情 爽透了 He looked almost hurt, I loved it.
他甚至都没听懂 He didn't even get it
不 他听懂了 还恨得咬牙切齿 No, he got it, he flinched, he was hating it.
他在掐他的导尿管出气 是呀 He was fiddling with his catheter Yeah.
这场下院辩论真痛快 It was a very satisfactory report stage debate.
委员会只改了三处 Only three amendments in the committee
道格的垃圾被改多少处来着? How many did Doug's piece of shit get?
喔 天 至少200来处 Oh, God, at least 200 or something.
他在上议院被菊爆了 He got fist-fucked in the Lords.
改出来的比原文还多 It was more amendment than Bill.
你说要发个宣传通稿? 是的 Did you say we'd do a press release? Yes.
"在下院辩论大获全胜之后" "Following a successful report stage debate,
"社会事务部部长 休-艾伯特" Secretary of State for Socisl Affairs, Hugh Abbot,
"今日宣布: 老子最牛逼" today announced, 'I'm the fucking daddy'."
不过卫报上有篇拍马屁的文章 There was a smarmy piece in the Guardisn, though,
你看到没? did you see it?
混蛋丹-米勒说 Dan fucking Miller,
"我在常委会做了好多工作" "Oh, all the work I've done on the Standing Committee..."
是呀 他... Yeah, he's...
我这块蛋糕可不小 My pie is extremely large, you may have noticed.
他太有才了 人人有份 He's brilliant Pie for all my friends.
是哦 "我有个超大按摩浴缸" Yeah, my Jacuzzi is king-sized,
"谁都能伸进屁股来爽一爽" and everybody can park their arses on the bubble jets.
有什么出处吗? Was that from something?
丹-米勒是个不错的次级大臣 Dan Miller is a junior minister, he's not at all badly,
就是有点吃醋 he's just a bit green.
你自己也开始有点吃醋了 大臣 You're turning s bit green yourself there, Minister.
你说什么? 你说我嫉妒丹? What are you saying? Are you saying I'm jealous of Dan...
不 只是有点... No, it's just a little..
你知道那条看不见的底线吗? Do you know the invisible line?
你刚越过了 是 是 You just stepped over it. Yeah, yeah.
这就是看不见的坏处 又一次 That's the problem with it being invisible Again...
我刚受邀到... I have just been invited to a..
稍等 丹尼老兄 Just a moment.. Danny boy!
太棒了 正说你呢 How lovely Man of the hour.
我受邀... I've been invited to...
好极了 握握你的小手 That is gorgeous. Shake your little hand.
见到你太高兴了 Lovely to see you
干得不错 你真厉害 谢谢 Well done, you did so bloody well Thank you.
你看起来不错 真厉害 You're looking well It was fantastic.
你明天能接受早间时空采访吗? Could you do GMTV for me tomorrow?
我很乐意 太好了 I would love to do GMTV for you Great.
丹 谢谢 Dan.. Thank you.
蛮早的采访 没关系 Nice and early I don't mind.
谢啦 实在是太棒了 Thanks, that's fantastic!
感觉怎样 很不错吧? How you feeling, good?
不错 辩论很顺利 Well the debate did go very, very well
法案也闯关成功 所以... and the Bill is going through, so...
我在宣布事情 Um, I've got some stuff I need to..
当然 当然 请继续 Fine, fine. Carry on.
我受邀... I have been invited...
最近怎样 格伦? How are you, Glenn?
还行 谢谢 Good, thank you.
老实说 你对后座议员下手太狠 Actually, you were very heavy-handed with the backbenchers.
这年头不必做到这份上 There's no need for it in this day and age
听着 格伦 Listen, Glenn.
你我都清楚 You know as well as I do,
如果你想做个蛋卷 if you're going to make an omelette,
你就得跟鸡蛋们 you're going to have to have some
开诚布公谈一谈 frank and honest discussion with the eggs.
这就是我一直在做的 And that's all I was doing
你好 马尔科姆 Hello Malcolm
丹 近来如何? Dan. How you doing?
最近好吗 小猎犬? How are you, you terrier?
是这样的 我是想说... Listen, I'm just calling because, erm...
你最近招惹了不少重量级粉丝啊 You're gathering a lot of very influential admirers.
喔 我有吗? Oh, am I really?
你魅力无边 你知道吧? 真的 You're irresistible, you know that, don't you? You are.
我怎么感觉你在揭我短啊 I have s sort of feeling you're pulling my pisser.
我才不揭呢 老兄 I wouldn't pull your pisser, pal,
我知道你哪里最短了 I know where it's fucking been.
就这样吧 我得挂了 Oh, hang on, listen I've got to go,
汤姆在等我回话 I've got Tom on the other line.
那回头接着聊 OK, but, er, we'll talk soon.
对了 谢谢你送的DVD Thanks for the DvDs, by the way.
嘿 马尔科姆 先别挂 你能不能... Oh, hey, listen, Malcolm, before you go, can you...
他有重要电话 把你掐了? Did you get bumped for someone more important?
他总这么干 我得走了 He's always doing that I've got to go.
我要去跟财政部的皮特打壁球 I've got squash with Pete from the Treasury
财政部的皮特? Pete from the Treasury?
他大大放了我们一马 He cut us a fair bit of slack,
所以我约他打球 套套近乎 so I offered a game to smooth things over
祝你好运 Good luck.
我也有个约 好呀 I've got an appointment myself Great.
只是跟首相吃个晚饭 Yes, it's just supper with the prime minister.
就我们两人 肯定很有趣 Just the two of us, it should be fun.
喔 太厉害了 Oh, that's very impressive
哪里哪里 不过是聚聚 稀松平常 No it isn't, it's just what we do, it's normal.
好好享受吧 总之 那个... Well, enjoy that, anyway, so...
采访的事 回头电话答复我好吗? Can you phone me about GMTV later?
好 再见 干得好 Yes. See you. Well done.
谢谢谢谢 干得好 Thanks. Thank you Well done.
你也不错 大家都辛苦了 拜拜 Well done you, well done everyone Bye-bye.
太棒了 Fantastic.
我不觉得有啥好骄傲的 汤姆 I'm not complacent, Tom.
讨论组的事我们顶过去了 Yeah I know we did take a hit over the focus group thing,
但还不够 but it wasn't a big hit.
喔 是吗? 谁说的? Oh, yeah? Says who?
喔 首相这么跟你讲的啊 Oh the prime minister told you that, huh?
好 知道了 Well, get you.
你看 我只能有什么料做什么菜 Look I can only cook with what I've been given.
就像BBC的"家有厨神" You know, it's like Ready Steady Cook.
你给我休-艾伯特 You give me Hugh Abbot,
我只能做香肠和土豆泥 I'll give you bangers and mash.
但你若给我内政部的杰里 But if you give me Gerry from the Home Office,
我就能搞出意式焗饭和扇贝 well, then I can raise it to fucking risotto and scallops,
懂我意思吗? do you know what I mean?
是是 好好 拜 Yeah, yeah, OK, OK, bye.
山姆? Sam?
帮我联系泰莉-卡弗利和格伦-库伦 Can you get me Terri Coverley and Glenn Cullen,
跟他们约个点过来 make them an appointment to come over?
我现在需要吼些人 I think I've got to shout at some people now.
算了 直接打给文化部的约翰 Oh, actually, get me John at Culture on the phone.
让我先开开嗓 Think I'll have a bit of a shout now.
这领带还成吧? 还可以 Is this tie all right? It's fine.
我可不想看起来像个... I don't want to come across as some sort of...
...推销员 Sales rep.
什么 我看起来像推销员? What, do I look like a bloody sales rep?
不会不会 没问题啦 No, no, no, no, it's fine.
上面是什么? 是小河马 对吧? What are those? They're little hippos, aren't they?
其实我也不知道是啥 I don't know what they are, actually,
估计是无名搞笑怪兽 I think they're unidentified amusing creatures.
烦死了 被抓去挨塔克一顿臭骂 I hate this, being called in for a bollocking from Tucker,
就因为首相剋了他 just cause he's been twatted by the PM.
反正就让他发泄一通 All he'll do is spread us all over the office a bit
然后我们就可以滚了 and then we'll be off.
是啊 我们干嘛不当乖乖小兔子 Yes, and we've got every reason to be very happy bunnies.
下院辩论都第三天了 Day 3 of the report stage
一切都像梦一样过去了 and it's all gone like a dream.
美梦 A good dream,
不是吓得你两腿发软的噩梦 not one of those ones where you can't move your legs.
是啊 对了... Absolutely. Now..
你确定这领带没问题吗? Are you sure about this tie?
很好 很搞笑 It's good, it's funny.
搞笑? 真见鬼 泰莉 Funny? Fucking hell Terri...
这是政客生涯的里程碑 不是的 This is political breakthrough No...
我可不想穿得搞笑 I don't want laughs off my clothes
不是搞笑 我说着玩的 Not funny ha ha...
或许我不该戴领带 Maybe I should go without the tie
没那么可笑 没事 It's not a laugh, it's fine.
扯淡 祝我好运吧 我不打领带了 Fuck yes, wish me luck, I'm going to go without the tie.
就这样 我刚想问你 Right I meant to ask you,
昨晚你待在公寓吗? did you stay in the flat last night?
在 屁股还没坐热老婆就来电话 Yeah, for about a minute and a half.
说女儿耳朵感染了 Kate rang and Alicia had an ear infection.
说得要死要活 不过是耳朵感染 It's obviously a life and death situation, an infected ear.
像天要塌了 Huge crisis.
头版头条 好像空难 Hold the front page, shuttle disaster.
逼我连夜开车20哩赶回去 So I had to drive 20 miles through the night,
好仔细瞧瞧艾丽西亚的耳朵 so that I could be ten feet away from Alicia's ear,
结果发现并不是感染 which, it turns out, wasn't infected anyway.
马尔科姆问过我那间公寓的事 And Malcolm's been on at me about the flat,
他觉得与住房法案有些冲突 he thinks there'd be some problems with the Housing Bill.
就因为你在诺丁山有间 You having a flat in Notting Hill
通勤距离内的公寓? and living within commuting distance?
那公寓大多数时候是空的 It is empty quite a lot of the time,
说到核心行业市区廉购房政策... and with the key worker stuff...
但我... But, I mean, I need...
我需要在伦敦市内有间住所 I need to have a place in London.
其他政要 Everybody else important
都人手一套漂亮舒服的大公寓 has got a huge fuck-off grace and favour pad.
为什么我不能有一套? Why haven't I got one?
你交给我来摆平吧 I think I can sort this out for you if you leave it to me.
得装装样子 懂吗? You know, we do what we said, yes?
销而不售 好好 随便 The sale, but not a sale Yeah, right, whatever.
嗯 一会见 我们从这边先走了 Well, er, I'll see you later then, we're off this way.
好的 好好享受你的晚餐 OK Enjoy your supper.
好好享受你们的臭骂 Enjoy your bollocking
拜托 我又不打算亲他 For God's sake, I'm not going to kiss him.
晚上好 大臣 请这边走 谢谢 Evening, Minister, if you'd step this way Thank you.
别找借口了 愿比就要服输 小奥 Excuses, excuses, take your failure like a man, Olly.
好吧 不过我要求重赛 All right, but next time I want a rematch
我一定把你打趴 草泥马 and I'm going to take you down, motherfucker.
我一定赢你 你从哪里来? I'm gonna take you down Where are you from?
林肯郡 Lincolnshire,
满是风车和土豆这些狗屁东西 with all the windmills and the potatoes and the shit.
他们是不是... 有一腿? Are they.. An item?
作为一名政客 你需要我拍你马屁 You need me to suck up to you, as a politician.
他挺擅长 呃 He's made a pretty good job of, erm...
挺擅长跟安吉拉-希尼上床的 made a pretty good job of shagging Angela Heaney.
他可能男女通吃 He could be bi
很多人这样 对吧 A lot of them are, you know.
看自己属下的三八事真有趣 interesting seeing the dynamics play within the staff
过来这边 这角度好 There we are, look
他旁若无人 He's a cheeky...
他瞧见我们了 再见 He's seen us See you...
我要回办公室去 大臣在闪躲 I'm going back into the office Minister's ducking.
他还真藏起来了 He's actually ducked.
每日邮报的记者几时到? So what time does this Daily Mail hack get here?
过10分钟 是安吉拉-希尼 Ten minutes. It's Angels Heaney.
我没跟你说? Did I not tell you?
她离开标准报了? So she left the Standard?
没错 来 问我些问题 That's right Go on, ask me some questions.
好 我是安吉拉 来采访你 OK, I'll be Angela and ask you some questions...
天哪 真诡异 My God, that's uncanny.
告诉你 你的奶子比她的大 Mind you, your tits are s bit bigger than hers.
"您能否证实 尽管这住房法案..." Is it true that although this Housing Bill...
"在下院一帆风顺" went through Parliament with incredible ease...
你能不能用自己的声音? Actually, can you just do it as yourself?
抱歉 这样我有点别扭 Sorry, it's just slightly unsettling.
好... Right, erm...
"真正实行起来却困难重重?" That you'll find a lot of difficulty in the real world...
恰恰相反 On the contrary,
这个条例能将许多非凡的好处 this Bill is going to do an extrsordinary amount of good
带给数量非凡的人民 for an extrsordinarily large number of people.
他们是平凡人 Ordinary people,
可他们生活中理应享受一点非凡 who deserves bit of the extraordinary in their lives.
说得漂亮 太强了 Perfect, that's brilliant.
小菜一碟 这才是你的本色 It's s piece of piss There you are, you see.
继续问些难的 Go on ask me something hard.
纳粹的黄金埋在哪 你这头种驴? Where's the Nazi gold, you donkey shagger?
我很高兴你问起这点 安吉拉 I'm very pleased you asked that, Angela,
首先我要强调 because let me just say
这个条例能将许多非凡的好处... this Bill is going to do an extrsordinary amount of good..
我并不打算... I'm not gonna...
哈罗 你们洗过澡了 是吧? Oh, hello You've showered off, have you?
早上好 对 洗过了 Good morning. Showered off, yes
对 格伦 多谢关心 Yes, thanks, Glenn.
你们俩打得火热... Have you been playing...
对 大清早打了场壁球 An early morning game of squash, yeah.
好呀 我喜欢壁球 绝妙的运动 very good, I love... Squash is s fabulous game.
你也玩? 蛮碰运气的 Do you play? A lot of luck...
我现在不玩了 以前玩 I don't any more, I used to play...
哇 俱乐部比赛级? What, club level?
对 进前三没? Yeah Were you on a ladder?
没 No.
我们该去见安吉拉了 Time for us to go and meet Angela now.
谢谢 希望她不会把我按墙上打 Thanks. I hope she doesn't bounce me off the walls.
总之 很高兴见到你们 对了... Anyway, great to have talked to you guys, and...
你知道安吉拉来了吗? Did you know Angela was in the building?
呃 知道 Er, yes.
她会吃你们的醋吗? Will she be jealous?
嗨 汤姆 有什么事? Hi, Tom. What can we do for you?
我不知道他把他的公寓怎么了 Well, I didn't know what he was doing with his flat.
我跟他说过 那该死的公寓 I told him, that fucking flat....
他们没有打算报道吧? Well, they're not running with this?
没有 我只知道他要接受采访 No, well, I know he's got an interview now with, erm...
是安吉拉-希尼 Angela Heaney,
你知道的 那个标准报的长舌妇 you know, that twat bubble from the Standard.
见鬼 她刚去了邮报 Fuck, she's just gone to the Mail.
我来处理 I'm onto it.
我希望你能多问些 I wish you'd ask me s bit more
有关房屋条例的问题 about the Bill
因为它空前成功 because it is an extraordinary triumph.
我正准备问 很好 很好 I am asking you about the Bill Good, good.
特别是关于空置住房回收管理制度 Specifically about the empty house management orders....
你怎么遵守它 How do they square with the fact
因为你有一处空置住房 that you have a second empty property
又不肯卖掉? that you won't sell?
严格说它不算空置 It's not technically empty.
我最近本打算住在那 I would have stayed there recently,
但我女儿突染恶疾 but my daughter was seriously ill.
我刚采访了一户亚裔 她才7岁 I've spoken to an Asian.. She's seven.
我刚采访了一户亚裔家庭 I've spoken to an Asisn family
他们说先后出价四次 who say they've put in four separate offers on your flat,
但都被毫无理由地一口回绝 had them all rejected with no explsnstion.
是的 好吧 Right, OK.
别挡路 Get out of the way.
就因为他们是亚裔? Is it because they're Asisn?
不不 老天 不是 No. No, God, no.
他人在哪? 玻璃会客室 Where the fuck is he? The goldfish bowl.
见鬼 Fuck!
不不 我很高兴你问到 No, no, I'm very glad you brought that up,
这就给了我机会... because that...that gives me the opportunity to...
对不起 我... Sorry...I...
我是开玩笑的 呃... Er...just mucking about. Erm...
我一向立场鲜明 I have always maintained very clearly...
嗨 安吉拉 抱歉 Hi, Angela. Sorry,
我和大臣说句话好吗? can I just borrow the minister for one moment?
当然 抱歉 我马上回来 Sure. Sorry, be right back with you.
你都跟这臭婆娘讲了啥? 你这蠢货 What the fucking did you tell this woman? You stupid cunt!
你搞什么飞机? what's the fucking going on?
你个傻逼 You're s fucking prick!
安吉拉 还需要咖啡吗? Angela, can I get you a fresh cup of coffee?
不用了 谢谢 或是来杯茶? No, I'm fine thanks Um, would you like some tea?
不用 不用 傻逼... Nope, nope. the fuck...
要饼干之类的吗? 不用 No biscuits or anything? No.
想要什么只管叫我 Do let me know if you need anything else
好的 多谢 I will. Thanks very much.
滚回去 把这摊狗屎扫干净 Get back in there and wrap this bullshit up.
有点小摩擦 哦哟 Bit of s disagreement Blimey.
真的 你能... Yeah. Erm...could you...
我只是好奇 你能听清吗? I'm just curious, could you hear?
因为其实... Because we were actually...
我们有时非常不留情面 We can be quite brutal to each other,
其实我们是很铁的哥们 becsuse we're actuslly very, very good friends.
这样呀 Right.
你一个出价也没接受? 没有 You haven't accepted any offers? No!
老天 这不是重点 Jesus That wasn't the point.
计划是 把公寓挂在市场上 The whole deal was, we put the flat on the market
如果媒体问起 so if the press ask,
我们就说 "滚开 他正在卖啊" we say, "Fuck off, he's selling it,"
他们滚了 休就能住市里了 they go away and Hugh has a place in town.
你女朋友干嘛紧咬这个? Why is your girlfriend hitting us with this?
她不是我女友 我怎么知道 She's not my girlfriend, so I've no idea...
那你不介意我掐死她了? so you won't mind if I kill her, then, will you?
那倒能省我不少事 It'd solve a lot of issues for me.
如果你能给那母夜叉灌点迷汤 Hey, hey, if you could sweet-talk that sour-faced bitch
让她撤掉报道 into dropping it....
如果我能给那母夜叉灌进任何东西 If I could talk that sour-faced bitch into anything,
当初我那四个月肯定好过得多 I would have had a better four months.
那我就得掐死你们俩了 来啊 I'll just have to kill the both of you Yeah, well.
开个玩笑 注意 不是善意的玩笑 That's a joke, by the way, not a very nice one,
它表达了 which masks
我对这个狗屁部门的极度失望 a lot of negative feelings about this fucking department.
哦 老天 Oh, Jesus.
汤姆-戴维斯 汤姆 你好吗 是的 Tom Davies. Tom? Hello, how are you? Yes.
不 我来晚了 No, he was already there
他已经在接受采访了 when I got there, he was talking to her.
发生了什么事? 究竟怎么回事? What is happening? What the hell was that?
本该是次轻松愉快的采访 That was supposed to be a nice interview.
你究竟跟她说了什么? What on earth did you say to her?
我否认了我种族歧视 希望是吧 I think I denied being a racist. I hope so.
你没说你有很多黑人朋友吧 You didn't say you have lots of black friends...
当然没有 我一个都没有 Of course not. Well, I haven't got any.
你怎么解释那些报价? What did you say about the offers?
我说不是我... I said I wasn't...
买卖是由别人经手的 someone else was handling the sale
我并不知情 and I wasn't aware of any offers.
休? Hugh?
你有没有说出我的名字? Did you mention me by name?
可能有吧 我不觉得... Erm, possibly... I don't think...
我否认种族歧视时 I may, in between denying racism,
兴许有 应该有提起 possibly have, yes.
多谢 太感谢了 Thank you, thank you very much,
感谢你祖宗十八代 thanks a fucking bunch.
好吧 那现在是什么口径? OK, so whst's the line on this then?
我不知道 什么口径? I don't know, whst is the line on this?
我不知道 别指望我 I don't know, don't look at me
我们得统一口径 We need a line on this.
好了 有新进展了 逃过一劫 OK, we got movement, we got a break
什么 什么? What? What? What?
那公寓卖掉了 什么? The flat's sold... What?
卖给那户亚裔 比报价还便宜4万磅 To the Asian family, for 40 grand below the asking price.
平安无事了 这搞什么? But it's OK What is it?
马尔科姆 嗯? Malcolm? Yeah?
已经迟了 什么? We're too late What?
报纸都已经行动了 All the papers have got it,
每日快报还出了价 the Express has been making offers on it,
比原报价还高3万 at the asking price and also ￡30,000 more,
还没能成交 得拖延些时间 Haven't been accepted We've got to stall.
真变态 我不过有间公寓 This is madness, I just own a flat,
又不偷谁抢谁 I haven't raped somebody.
嗯 他们称之为公寓门丑闻 Yeah. They're calling the scandal Flatgate
丑闻? Scandal?
这丑闻名字起得真垃圾 That's crap. It's a crap name for a scandal.
该叫它诺丁山大道门 They should call it Notting Hill Gate-gate.
拜托别再叫它丑闻了行吗? Can we at least stop calling it a scandal?
你在开玩笑 看笑话是吧? Are you joking? Are you joking, now?
我马上去拖延 嗯 快去拖吧 On my way to stall Yeah, get stalling.
或许我们能全怪在泰莉头上 Maybe we can just blame it all on Terri.
倒也是个办法 对吧? That is an option, isn't it?
那只是间公寓 那是第二住宅 It's a flat It is a second home.
那地区全是无家可归者 In a borough with thousands of homeless people,
你却养了多年的空房 which you have kept empty for ages.
你没读过你自己的住房法案吗? Have you not read your own Housing Bill?
我只空置了它几晚 I only kept it empty for a little while
去看我那该死的家人 to see my bloody family.
显然 我早该在里面 Obviously, on reflection, I should have filled it
塞些妓女 鸭弟 with prostitutes and rent boys
吸粉 纹身 拉皮条的混混 and crack cocaine pimp tattoo freaks.
多亏了丹-米勒他们 才成就了住房法案 Thanks to Dan Miller's alike, the Bill is a success,
你这老鼠屎却坏了整锅粥 but this is burying the whole thing.
那你要我怎么办 辞职? Well, what do you want me to do? Resign?
不不 那太... 我可不答应 No, no, no, that is... I'm not going over this.
你的退路只有... The way out of this is for you to..
真变态 这种贞节牌坊 This is madness, this desire for perfection.
我不是圣人 我是个凡人好吧 I am not perfect, I am just a person, right,
我需要睡觉 需要吃饭 I need to sleep, I need to est,
时不时需要拉屎 occssionslly I need to take a dump.
然后呢? So what's next?
炒上晚间新闻 炒上报纸头版? Do we put that on the evening news, on the front page?
"大臣深陷粪坑"? "Minister In Disgusting Defecation Outburst? "
记者在首相府现场采访 Molly Sugden at Number Ten.
"吃屎开心吧 艾伯特先生?" "Enjoy your shit, Mr Abbot? "
他们应该克隆大臣 They should just clone ministers,
让我们生来就55岁 so we're born at 55
没有过去 没有公寓 也没有老二 with no past and no flats and no genitals.
就像那种机器人世界... Just a world of robots in a sort of...
像那种科幻电影 你就高兴了 It's like a futuristic film, and you'd enjoy that,
你待在小太空站里 you'd be in your little space station
身边全是听话的机器人 surrounded by obedient androids,
像那个傻逼丹-米勒刷了层铝皮 like that fucking brushed aluminium Dan Miller cyber prick.
辞职有可能很体面的 你知道吗? It is possible to have a good resignation, you know?
体面的辞职? A good resignation?
我得好好听听你怎么向我推销这个 Oh, I'm looking forward to how you're gona sell this to me.
听着 人们喜欢看你提早一点离开 Look, people really like it when you go just a bit early,
你知道的 紧咬牙关 眼望远方 you know, steely-jawed, faraway look in your eyes,
别等他们在酒馆里开骂 before they get to sitting round in pubs saying
"那个混球早该滚了" "That fucker's got to go."
你给他们惊喜 You surprise them.
"哎呀 他走了 真没料到" "Blimey, he's gone, I didn't expect thst.
"辞职? 这份气度不多见了" "Resigned? You don't see that much any more.
"老派 有尊严 我还挺喜欢他" "Old school, respect, I rather liked the guy,"
"是那些狗屁媒体害了他" he was hounded out by the fucking press."
这些如何 哈? How about that, huh?
多壮烈啊 对吧? What a way to go, yeah?
这次可能... It's probably going to be...
轮到休... 卷铺盖走人了 it's going to be Hugh that has to go this time.
是呀 Yeah.
嗯 对呀 太可悲了 太可悲了 Yeah, it is, it's very sad, very sad.
好 汤姆 对 的确 对对 OK, Tom, yes, indeed, yes, indeed.
两分钟 两分钟就过去 Er, two minutes. Two minutes.
是汤姆 他刚和首相谈完 That's Tom, he's finishing with the prime minister.
我马上去见他 I'm going to go and join him.
你先待在这里吧 好 You might as well stay here Yeah.
我尽快回来 I'll try and make it quick
我自己也去真的没用吗? Sure it wouldn't help if I went in?
不用 不用 我们讨论的就是你 No, no, I mean we're going to be talking about you.
你去就尴尬了 对吧? 对 当然 It would be awkward, yes? Yeah. Of course.
非常尴尬 是呀 very awkward Yup.
你歇一歇 翻翻报纸什么的 You just relsx, help yourself to s paper or something.
事情总能圆满收场 It'll be fine in the end,
我们会迎来另一个老男人当替罪羊 we'll just get another doomed middle-aged man in
下周一早上 他踏过这扇门 on Monday morning, come through the door,
蹦达一阵 stride about a bit,
撒撒野 然后我收拾残局 spunk off and I'll have to mop up the mess.
司空见惯 It'll be business as ususl.
我走了 这事就能釜底抽薪 The whole heat could come out of this situstion
整个凉下来 if I went.
还没到辞职的地步 对吧? It's not come to any kind of resignation yet, surely?
你知道我最恨什么? Do you know what pisses me off?
跟着他做牛做马37年 After 37 yesrs,
他一眨眼就把我卖了 he's prepared to drop me right in it.
他只是慌了 He just panicked.
如果有人要辞职 那该是我 If anyone's going to resign, I should.
不不 你真好 但应该是我 No, no, that's decent of you, but I'll go.
你该留下 你知道 You should stay, you know,
哪个二百五 any fucker
都能坐在走廊尽头作摆设 can sit at the end of a corridor behind a pot plant.
而你是真正运筹帷幄的人 But you're the man who making sure the pen works.
那么也许你该走? 对 So maybe you should go? Yeah.
等等 没错 你说服了我 Now, hang on Yeah, you've convinced me.
我想那样会更好 I think it would be better
不 我只从大体上说 No, I'm just saying, in the scheme of things.
我不是说我该走 I'm not saying I should go
你刚说了你该走 You just said you should.
我是抽象的说 I'm talking academically
你说...才不抽象呢 You said... That wasn't academic talk.
绝对是抽象的 不是 It absolutely was academic It wasn't.
我要把它写下来 I'll write it down..
句句都是真枪实弹 That's real virtual talk.
我一直在理论分析 I'm having an academic discussion
不 我可一直在就事论事 No. I'm having a real discussion with you.
那我们从头来就事论事 We can reset for a real discussion..
你现在辞职 Resign now,
我替你把辞呈放在休桌上 and I'll put the letter on Hugh's desk.
我也可以这么说啊 我 Well I could very easily say the same thing. I...
我才不干呢 为什么不? I'm not doing that Why the fuck not?
休是我的朋友 我不会这样对他 Hugh's my friend. I won't do that for him.
我要留下支持他 I'll stay and stand behind him.
我只是麦当劳站柜台的 I'm just the counter man in McDonald's.
你才是开店的小丑 You're the clown running the shop.
你才是人们盛怒之下 You're the one who they want to see
想要拎着头发吊死的那个 strung up from a lamppost by his fucking wig.
你说我是谁? 罗纳德-麦当劳 What does that make me? Ronald McDonald.
瞎扯淡 Well, fuck off.
我绝不辞职 老兄 我也不会 I'm not going, mate No, neither am I.
那么 首相怎么说? So, what did the PM say?
将会发起一场调查 There's going to be an inquiry.
太好了 太好了 Oh, yes, oh, yes.
多谢 你真是个救星 不客气 Thank you, you're a fucking star No problem.
山姆 嗯 当然 休 Sam. Yeah, of course. Hugh, Hugh.
首相打电话找你 能不能... It's the prime minister. Could you...
您好 Hello.
哦 你好 Oh! Hello.
一切都好吗 大臣? 嗯 Is everything all right, Minister? Mmm.
这些不是特供的饼干吧? These weren't special biscuits, were they?
不 不是的 No, no.
那就好 您还好吗? Good How are you?
老实说 不算太好 Well I've been better to be honest,
但接着会有场调查 所以祈祷吧 but there's going to be an inquiry so, fingers crossed.
这样啊 我们会一直支持您 Right, well we're all rooting for you
太感谢了 Oh! Thank you very much.
需要椅子吗? 要坐下吗? Can I get you a chair? Would you like to sit down?
好的 谢谢 稍等 Yes, please OK.
就放在饼干旁边 谢谢 By the biscuits Thank you.
这样可以吗? All right?
您还需要饼干或一杯咖啡吗? can I get you some more biscuits or a coffee?
好的 谢谢 稍等 Yes, please OK.
奥利-里德 谁? Olly Reeder What?
转到免提 是大臣 Put me on the speakerphone It's the minister.
会一场调查 你现在哪里? They're going to have an inquiry Where are you?
我还在首相府 他们准备发起调查 I'm still at Number Ten, they're going to have an inquiry.
太好了 真棒 Yes! Great.
他们准备让谁主持? Who are they going to have?
不知道 I don't know,
不知道会不会征求我们的意见 I don't know whether we get any say in it.
不过我觉得 希伯特勋爵就不错 But, I mean, Lord Hibbert's very nice.
去年我跟他一起看的足总杯半决赛 I was with him at the FA Cup semifinal last year
我们都装出一副资深球迷的样子 both trying to make out we had a clue what was going on.
我们讨论过主持调查的理想人选 We've talked about the ideal person to head an inquiry.
伊曼-荷姆斯和艾伦-贝内特都行 It was a tie between Eamonn Holmes and Alan Benett.
我看 蒙克顿勋爵才是最佳人选 I tell you who 'd be good, Lord Monckton.
蒙克顿勋爵? 对 Lord Monckton? Yeah.
蒙克顿勋爵当然也在首相考虑之列 Lord Monckton certainly is in the frame here at Number 10
啊哈? 嗯 我身边就是首相府的人 Uh-huh? Yeah. I'm with the PM's people now.
休? 哦 马尔科姆过来了 Hugh? Oh, Malcolm's just joined us.
听着 休 好消息 Right Hugh, good news.
首相请求切斯汉特的 The PM's asking the Right Honourable
蒙克顿勋爵主持调查 Lord Monckton of Cheahunt to head the inquiry.
太好了 是蒙克顿 太棒了 休 Good, it is Monckton Yes! Hugh!
好 滚回去吧 你还有个部门要管呢 All right, fuck off. You've got a department to run.
谢谢 马尔科姆 行了 行了 Thanks, Malcolm Yeah, yeah.
太感谢了 Thanks, yeah.
看看这标题 Look at this one.
"首相舍不得踢艾伯特" "PM Just Can't Kick The Abbot."
照的真烂 你看起来像推销员 Dreadful picture. You look like a sales rep
他们故意PS的 They've Photoshopped that.
奇怪了 报社都没别的好写了吗? Surprising they haven't got anything better to write about
都过去四五天 after what? Four, five days now?
只要蒙克顿报告没出来 Until Monckton reports,
他们不会妄动 他们要一击必杀 they're going to stay on this. They want blood.
喔 稍等 Oh, hang on.
早上好 马尔科姆 Good morning, Malcolm.
我要你 泰莉和小奥立刻过来 I want you, Terri and Olly over here right now.
不要休 绝不要把休带进首相府 Not Hugh, do not bring Hugh to Downing Street.
让他接电话 好 稍等 Put him on for me for a minute Yes, hang on.
是马尔科姆 他有事跟你说 It's Malcolm. He wants to speak to you
什么事 Go on.
休 我看过蒙克顿报告了 Right Hugh, I've seen Monckton's report.
情况不乐观 It's not good.
好吧 OK
他跟你炒的那个司机谈过 He's talked to that driver you got rid of.
老天 我一向讨厌他 Oh my God. I never liked him,
我跟格伦说过的 I told Glenn I didn't liked him.
那司机 他是只笑面虎 The driver. He was a smirky bastard.
他说听到过你和格伦商量 He told them he heard you and Glenn
把公寓挂到市场上 talking about putting your flat on the market
销而不售 but not accepting any offers.
随口说说 我们只是随口说说 In passing, it was just mentioned in passing, just words.
我们又不是像密谋炸议会那样 It's not as though we were plotting like Guy Fawkes,
密谋假出售一套2间屋的公寓 concocting our evil master plan to not sell a 2-bed flat.
我不知道格伦真的实行了 I didn't know Glenn had gone ahead.
我只是累 马尔科姆 犯法吗? I'm just tired, Malcolm, is that a crime now?
累的要死犯法吗? Feeling shattered?
头条标题不会写你累 That is not going to be the headline,
头条标题会写 你撒谎了 the headline is going to be, you have lied.
听着 我要你的人过来 除了你 Right, look, I want your guys over here, but not you,
明白吗? 你别过来 understand? Not you.
我也去会好些吗 Would it help if I was there?
还是你们准备讨论我? Or will you all be talking about me?
我们准备讨论你 We'll all be talking about you.
好的 我叫个出租车 Right, I'll ring for s cab.
比安排公家车快 好吗? It's quicker than calling one of the cars up. OK?
好 我们出发 Right, well let's get going.
好的 休 再见 Yeah Hugh, bye.
好 再见 嗯 一会见 OK. Yep Yep. See you later.
好 可能吧 OK Probably, anyway.
休 对他们俩来说 Hugh. I mean, with the other two,
这不过是普通的一天 对吧? it's just another day, isn't it?
我想说 我站在你这边 I want you to know I'm on your side.
知道吗? 我不会... You know? I wouldn't...
我们会东山再起 好啦 We'll ride again OK.
社会事务部 只会打飞机 Department of Social Affairs. Department of fucking,
捅娄子 吹牛皮的恶心部门 shocking, shitty, charlatan shits.
正因此... 把脚放下去 That's what... Feet off the furniture,
你这牛津傻逼 you Oxbridge twat.
这不是坐游艇 You're not in a punt now.
对了 我记自己的密码最擅长 Yes! I am king of remembering my own password.
什么事? Yep?
丹 你好 Hello, Dan
休 小奥在吗? 我找他... Hi Hugh. Is Olly about? I need him...
不在 他在塔克那 他们都去了 No, he's with Tucker. Well, they all are.
出什么事了? Is something up?
没什么 他们在讨论... No, they're just talking about...
某研究所的指令 A directive came from one of the think-tanks
讲新闻秘书应该 about how the press secretaries should
记录大臣与说客的会面 minute meetings with lobbyists and, erm...
这样呀 Right
好吧 他们在讨论我有多惨 So they're just talking about how fucked I am.
哦 那份报告? Oh, the report?
是呀 似乎蒙克顿坐在电脑前 Yeah. It's like Monkton sat in front of the word processor
让独立司法制度的义愤喷薄而出 and let the anger of the independent judiciary flow out.
这样搞臭你 气势汹汹 It's such a something and nothing issue
其实毫无意义 to get crucified over.
是吧 不过是间公寓 Isn't it? It's just a flat.
正是 就因为我不是个 Precisely, just becsuse I'm not some
刷了层铝皮的傻逼机器人 像... brushed aluminium cyberprick like, er...
像... 像小奥 Like, er.. Like Olly.
是呀 但不管怎么说 Yeah. But, anyway,
我错过了辞职的最佳时机 是的 I've missed my ideal resigning point Yes.
我多耽搁一天 With every day I delay,
我重返政坛就要多等一年 it's another year before I can get back again.
我若在上任的那天辞职 If I had resigned the day I was appointed,
估计现在已经是首相了 I'd actuslly be prime minister by now.
口径是 我们不会为点小错 The line is we don't throw a good man out to the wolves
就把个好人丢去喂狼 over one single little fuck-up.
这么说 休会留下? 对 So Hugh's staying? Yeah.
我们叫那群狼滚开 不全是 We tell the wolves to fuck off Not exactly.
他们需要一只替罪羊 They need a blood sacrifice
的确 他们要人头上贡 Indeed they do, they want a head on a plate.
你是说 我们要献给他们一个人头? We've got to give them head, is that what you're saying?
你真聪明 对吧? 非常 非常聪明 You're clever aren't you? very, very clever.
你的头几斤几两? How much does your head weigh?
我估一下 八磅? I don't know. Eight pounds?
或者更多 Maybe more.
别用我的头 我只有半个 It's not my head. I've only got half a head.
我只能算半个脑袋 I'm a half-head.
你们之一要站出来 老天 One of you's got to decide Jesus Christ.
你们中谁要舍身取义? Which of you will do the decent thing?
我们讨论过了 We've been through this.
显然我是关键人物 麦当劳叔叔 Apparently I'm Ronald fucking McDonald.
等等 怎么没有你? Hang on, why are you not included in this?
为什么光说我俩? Why is it one of us two?
如果我辞职 你也得辞职 If I've got to resign, then you've got to resign.
"如果我辞职..." " If I've got to resign..."
政策方面 我对你负责 I answer to you on matters of policy.
那他也得走 因为我对他负责 In which case, he's got to go, because I answer to him.
那我们不是都得走? So we've all got to go now, eh?
我哪都不去 Well, I am going nowhere.
我什么都没干 什么都没干 I didn't do anything, I did nothing.
我清清白白 I am as clean as a whistle
泰莉 别装清纯了 Terri, grow up.
少跟我说胡话 Don't give me that pile of fucking bollocks.
别以为你是公务员 Just becsuse you're s civil servsnt,
你的屎就不臭了 don't think your shit doesn't smell.
你那些猫腻我清楚 什么? I know things about you What?
你知道什么? 对 我们有把柄 What do you know? Yeah, we know things.
闪一边去 你只知道搞基 什么? Oh, knob off. You know bugger all What?
你就知道向那新上位的献殷勤 All you know is how to suck up to the new kid on the block.
"喔 多潇洒的反手" 扯淡 "Oooh, what a lovely backhand." Fuck off.
"喔 我的抽球好大力" "Oooh, my stroke is so hard."
你心灵真扭曲 You're so fucking repressed!
我只是打壁球 I was just playing squash
格伦 你知道什么? Glenn, what do you know?
你都知道些什么? 我都知道 What do you think you know? I know.
是什么? 我要去见塔克 What is it? I'm going to go and see Tucker.
我准备辞职 你不必的 I'm going to resign You don't need to.
对 我知道 那就别去 休 Yeah, I know Then don't, Hugh.
不 我一直在想 辞职会相当不错 No, I've been thinking, it will be very, very good.
报告还有3天才发布 The report isn't out for three days and, er...
它发布前 我可以有尊严地离去 I can leave before it with dignity.
我会被视为高尚的人 I'll be seen as an honourable man.
两年后我就能一身轻松地 I'll be in government in 2 yesrs with a clean slate
重返政府 and a fresh tie.
我还能远离这混蛋部门 And I'll be shot of this fucking department.
拿个备忘录都要4天 It takes four days to get a memo through.
社会事务 到底指什么? 搞不清 What does Social Affairs actually mean? It's so vague.
"你好 我是休-艾伯特" "Hello, I'm Hugh Abbot,"
"我是...管杂七杂八的大臣" "the Minister for, I don't know, stuff."
看看这里的公务员 Look at these civil servants here.
外交部就没这种怪胎 You wouldn't get these dweebs at the Foreign Office.
这破地方到处塞满了废物 This place is packed to the gills with dreck....
请别见怪 No offence.
我接受 Well, I accept it.
我代表首相接受你的辞职 On behalf of the PM, I accept your resignation.
你也想通了 这样最好 As you've worked out, it's probably for the best.
有事吗? 我要见塔克先生 Can I help? Just going to see Mr Tucker.
他正在会客 He has someone with him
我只占用一会 事情很紧急 It won't take long, it's quite urgent.
很抱歉 请您稍等 好吧 I'm sorry, you'll have to wait Right.
您需要饼干吗? Can I get you a biscuit?
不用 谢谢 No, thank you.
你不会后悔的 丹 You won't regret this, Dan.
相信我 你不会的 Trust me, you won't.
是吧 但愿如此 Yeah, let's hope not
你一定很失落 是呀 是呀 Hey, you must be gutted Yeah. Yeah.
嗨 丹 Hi Dan.
你要见马尔科姆? 对 Oh, you're seeing Malcolm, are you? Yep.
谢谢 谢谢你 苏珊 我没事 Thank you Thank you, Susan. That was fine.
马尔科姆 我下定决心了 Malcolm, I've made a decision.
我说部门里备忘录的那些话 what I said about memos in the department,
我是说 那不是大问题 我们能解决 I mean, that's sortable, we can just sort it,
真的 只是个行政小问题 you know, it's just an admin thing...
别担心 我们明白 没人当真 Don't worry, we understand No one's...
城区建设的可爱备忘录 Lovely new memo on urban renewal
哦 很好 Oh, good.
你瞧 这份备忘录只花了一天... here's a memo and it's only taken me a day to get..
就拿到了 看来问题已经改善了 to get to me, so things are looking up already.
丹这次顶罪可占了大便宜 Dan really did himself some favours there, you know.
想听听我们的领导怎么说的吗? Would you like to hear what our leader thinks?
这是首相对他辞呈的复函 This is the PM's reply to his resignation letter.
"你是一颗耀眼 有才华" "You are a dazzlingly bright, talented,
"有担当 有荣誉感的政坛新星" committed and honourable new force in British politics."
"失去你 我深感遗憾" " I am immensely sorry to lose you,
"但我能预见" "but I predict, you will "
"不久你就会飞黄腾达" "one day find yourself in very high office indeed."
这真容易 Well that's just easy, though.
辞职... 俗滥又省事 Resigning's just...that's cheap and lazy.
是呀 反正丹-米勒是个混球 Yeah He's a little shit anyway, Dan Miller.
我从没喜欢过他 I never liked him
我从没喜欢过他 绝没有 I never liked him, I never ever liked him.
很晚了 我们... It's really late, let's...
到点了格伦 该回家了 来了 Come on, Glenn, time to go home Coming.
我觉得丹还不错 I thought Dan was good.
再见 晚安 See you Night.
晚安 休 Good night, Hugh.
哦 老天 Oh, God.
其实 我今晚能在你沙发上睡吗? Actually, can I stay on your sofa tonight?
好的 谢谢 Yep Thanks.
慢慢来 我会等你 Take your time, I'll wait for you, then
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