字幕样本｜官方译本 调整压制｜RYANLAUN 感谢每一位译者与相关人员,字幕组是打破文化屏障的人 - 欢迎关注新浪微博｜RYANLAUN
我叫路易斯川特尔 35岁 My name is Louis Trantell. I am 35 years old.
我叫亚莉克莎科力索沃基 19岁 Alexa Chryssovergis, and I am 19 years old.
奥利弗马夏科 25岁 专业单身人士 Oliver Marshack. 25 years old. I'm professionally single.
你用什么约会软件？ What dating apps do you use?
Tinder和“咖啡遇上百吉饼” Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel.
Tinder和Bumble Tinder and Bumble.
我主要用Tinder Bumble也用 I mostly use Tinder. I also use Bumble.
我不工作的时候 Throughout the day when I'm not working,
没事的时候 等电话的时候 if I'm just chilling, I'm waiting for a call to come in...
我总会刷一刷 I'm always swiping.
基本就是看长相来决定人选 You pretty much choose someone based on how they look.
也不知道是什么原因 女孩喜欢打冰球的男生 So for whatever reason, girls love guys that play hockey.
我发现了这一点 所以就把这张照片留在这了 So that's what I found, and that's why I keep it in there.
在线约会资料 可以让你对一个人了解很多 An online dating profile tells you so much more about a person.
你可以上网搜他们 搜索他们的姓名 You can google them. You know, google their first and last name
查他们的社交网络资料 and look up their social media profiles.
我配对当天就会 试着约他们出来喝一杯鸡尾酒 I match with them, and I try to meet with them that day. Meet up for a cocktail.
目前我在大学里的所有约会 It is the way I've gotten every single date that I've had so far in college,
都是靠这些应用实现的 is through these apps.
换个角度 使用这些应用有何坏处？ On the flip side, are there any negatives to your app usage?
我们在一起两周 Just spending time with each other for two weeks.
上过床 我也喜欢过他 但他消失了 We had slept together, I really liked him, and then he ghosted.
大部分时候 我的期待是 For the most part, my expectations are set on
约几次炮 然后就分手 it's gonna be hook up, you know, a couple of times and then move on.
有些女人真的是想找人认真约会的 Some women are on there because they wanna actually find somebody to seriously date.
也有人只是想找个男人随便做做爱 Some women are on there because they just wanna find a guy to have casual sex with.
我可以给别人发条信息 I literally can send someone a message and just be like,
“听着 我只是想上床” "Look, I just wanna have sex."
这样几乎有点剥夺了人性 It takes like the humanity away from people almost a little bit.
你被放在手机上 被量化 你就是个物品 You're on a phone. You know, you're quantified. You're a thing.
NETFLIX 原创纪录片系列
（上她）
（理解爱）
（X级 仅限成人）
（脱衣舞秀）
（配对成功！）
（情感状态 恋爱中）
（你好？）
剧名：爱我点我
（巴黎）
我叫詹姆斯莱茵 My name is James Rhine.
我是拉斯维加斯 一家夜生活策划公司的市场总监 I'm a director of marketing for a nightlife company in Las Vegas.
我的工作是筹办成人泳池派对 这工作棒极了 I throw adult pool parties for a living. Like, it just doesn't get any better than this.
（詹姆斯莱茵在自己的表演现场）
（曼德勒海湾）
虽然我现在40岁了 Regardless of the fact that I'm 40 years old,
我不知道…我对生活的想法与众不同 I don't know, I have this different mindset for my life.
我想尽情享受每一分钟 I want to thoroughly enjoy every moment.
如果你的生活没有乐趣 那一定是你的活法不对 And if you ain't having fun in life, then you are doing this thing way wrong.
（杰西卡）
我叫杰西卡 My name is Jessica.
约会 糟透了 恶心到骨子里 Dating, it's awful. It's downright dirty awful.
所以突然认识詹姆斯时 我很兴奋 So I was excited when, out of nowhere, I met James.
和他的约会完全不一样 Dating him is a different story.
他总是为我开门 He always opens up my door.
总会短信问候“早”、“晚安” Always texts me, "Good morning," "Good night,"
“我想你”、“想你了” "I miss you." "Thinking about you."
我觉得我们都是认真的 I assume that we are exclusive, and I can picture a future with us two.
我能构想两个人的未来 我希望他也能 And hopefully, he can picture the same.
这个周末约会软件不太给力 It's been a weak-ass weekend for dating apps.
不 No. Ooh. No.
和杰西卡 With Jessica...
现在是很开心 right now, it's fun.
她是个好女孩 和她在一起很开心 She's a sweet girl. I have fun with her.
但我认为我不会和她长期约会 But I can see myself not dating her long-term.
看这个 马路对面 我们赞一下艾什丽 Look at this one. Right across the street. We like Ashley.
指尖一划 你有太多选择 You have so many different options right at your fingertips.
科技让恋爱中的承诺与责任 Technology has definitely made commitment in relationships
几近过时 almost a thing of the past.
你好 35岁的比基尼 Oh, hello there, little 35-year-old in a bikini.
像Tinder和Bumble 之类的约会应用是这样用的 How it works on dating apps like Tinder and Bumble,
向左是讨厌 向右是喜欢 left means they suck, right means you like 'em.
可爱女生 年纪大的会喜欢 Cute girl, for old.
娜塔莉 23岁 金发美女 We have Natalie. She's 23. Pretty blonde girl. Pretty blonde girl.
目标是找女孩子一起玩几天 The goal is to find girls to have a fun couple dates together, you know.
她们不丑 They're not ugly.
我朋友说：“你工作时 身边都是漂亮女人 My friends are like, "You're surrounded by beautiful women all day at work.
为什么还要用应用？用它们干嘛？” Why are you on Tinder and Bumble? Why do you need these things?"
如果你想做的 Well, if this is what you wanna do,
只是约约会 玩一玩 约个炮 if you just wanna date and have fun and hook up,
这些应用是最佳选择 there's nothing better than these dating apps.
啪 就好了 Yeah, boom.
（逾20%成人使用过 约会应用或网站）
今天我他妈搞砸了 I'm a fucking mess today.
千万别告诉我昨晚我刷到了丑女 Please tell me I didn't swipe on ugly people last night.
操 Fuck.
你被取消配对了 You are unmatched.
再见 Bye.
这是个肤浅的应用 所以我的行为也超级肤浅 But this is a superficial app, so my behavior is incredibly superficial,
因为这他妈就是目的所在 because that's the fucking point.
这不能代表我的为人 Does not represent me as a person.
（拉斯维加斯）
回首过去20年 我度过了最美好的时光 I sit back and I look at the last 20 years, and I think I've had the best time ever.
享乐无度 做爱无数 So much fun and so much sex.
我一点也不后悔 I have no regrets.
我知道 社会认为 人们不该同时和不同的人上床 I know society thinks that you shouldn't be sleeping with different people,
但并没有这样的规定 也没有法律这样要求 but there's no rule against it. There's no law against it.
多数人说这样做不好 是因为他们做不到 Most people will only say it's a bad thing because they can't do it.
三十多岁的女人晚上不会出来玩 There aren't women in their 30s in the nightlife.
来玩的都是二十几的小姑娘 You know, it's girls in their 20s.
她们的生活方式相近 节奏快 总是向前看 Their lifestyles are very similar. You know, fast paced, always on the move,
她们不想安定下来 她们还在享受生活 and they're not looking to settle down. They're still enjoying life.
我也还在享受生活 And I'm still enjoying my life, also.
现在的24岁年轻人 A 24-year-old now as opposed to a 24-year-old 15 years ago
和15年前的大不一样了 are light-years apart.
我遇到过二十出头的姑娘 都已经玩过好多次三人行了 I'm meeting girls in their early 20s who have already had, like, multiple threesomes, like, some crazy shit.
疯狂得很 我猜一定是因为色情文化 And I'm assuming that that has to be, like, the whole porn culture
人们都不把它当回事了 where everyone is looking at this stuff like it was nothing.
十五年前 人们要保守羞涩得多 Fifteen years ago, they were a lot more shy. They were a lot more reserved.
现在你和22岁的姑娘做爱 And now, if you have sex with a 22-year-old,
姑娘把你一推 就想舔你屁眼 they're pushing you back, trying to eat out your asshole.
我就想说：“你他妈怎么了？ You know, it's like, "What the fuck is wrong with you?
你知道我姓啥吗？” "Do you know my last name?"
社会加快了约会速度 这不是我的错 It's not my fault that society has sped up dating
现在人们刚认识一周就上床 to where now you're fucking everyone within the first week of knowing them.
大家都接受这种事 You know? This is what's just become acceptable.
我只是与时俱进 You know, I'm just keeping up with the times.
我房间真他妈乱 My room's a fucking mess.
是的 Yeah.
这是用来缓冲的 不然我室友会发飙 This is the buffer so my roommates don't get mad.
不管是脱下的衬衫、袜子还是什么 So whatever shirt comes off, or socks or whatever...
到此… stops from...
禁区女生的名单不能再加了 Can't add more girls to the no-fly list.
今晚有约会 她叫阿莱克西斯 Going on a date tonight. Her name's Alexis.
我们在Bumble上认识的 她比我小 I met her on Bumble. And it's one of those ones where she's younger.
她二十五六岁的样子 She's, like, 25 or 26. Somewhere in that range.
这是第二次约会 Yeah, this will be a second date.
她很高 我觉得挺好看的 Tall. I'd say good-looking girl.
她机智风趣 She's really funny, really witty.
是我喜欢的性格 You know, just has that personality that I'm drawn to.
我已经是情场老手了 I think because I've been in that dating world for so long
我能综合利用各种新技术的优势 and I've been able to cross over into all the new technological advancements,
从老式约会到约炮文化 you know, going from old-school to now the hookup culture,
我各取所长 I take the best from all these worlds
整合成女孩想要的模样 and compile them into what I think girls want
这是其他男孩所没有的 and what other guys are lacking.
传统的绅士风度 打电话 You know, the chivalry from being old school, the phone call,
帮开门之类的 the holding the doors, that stuff.
我在不知不觉中就用上了一套小技巧 I think I've put together a nice little strategy without even realizing it.
我以前约会超紧张 I remember I used to be so nervous when I'd go on dates.
现在都是家常便饭了 Now, it just seems so routine.
刚开始约会时 我送女孩回家 When I first started dating, I would drop them off at their house
开车返程的路上我都会吐出来 and I'd be, like, throwing up out of my car as I'm driving away.
每次都他妈这样 It was just every fucking date.
我就是不习惯和女孩约会 总是… I was just not used to dating girls. Like, it was always...
我看上去显小 总是被拒绝 I would look so much younger. I was always rejected.
我就是个老好人 和谁都是朋友 I was always that nice guy who was just friends with everyone.
高中时从未约过会 You know, I never dated in high school,
从不去同学会 没去过舞会 never went to homecoming, never went to prom.
我暗恋过的女孩都只把我当朋友 All the girls that I had crushes on, I was always friends with them.
我是她们情感上的支持 So I was their emotional support.
我学会了那样支持她们 I learned to provide that for these people.
我就是这种人 “詹姆斯啊 他很好啊 I was that guy who was just... "Oh, James, he's so nice.
他是我兄弟 我最好的朋友” He's, like, my brother, like, my best friend."
（《老大哥6》）
我是詹姆斯 我无所不能 I'm James, and nothing gets past me.
（《老大哥》 第六季）
有天我正在工作 收到一条Myspace消息 One day I'm sitting at work and open up a Myspace message
问我有没有兴趣参演《老大哥》 asking me if I was interested in Big Brother.
我想：“有何不可？” So I figure, "Why not?" You know?
经过匿名投票 By unanimous vote,
詹姆斯 你将离开《老大哥》的房间 James, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house.
上过《老大哥》之后 简直就疯了 After I got off Big Brother, it was insanity.
之前我有80个Myspace好友 I went into the house with, like, 80 Myspace friends
离开后有两万八 and came out with 28,000.
（詹姆斯有27953个好友）
你简直想不到有这么多人对你感兴趣 You just can't even fathom that that many people are interested in you.
太疯狂了 无数女孩对你投怀送抱 It was insane, the amount of girls that were throwing themself at you.
走在芝加哥街头 我能听到“我的天呐！” I'd be walking down the street in Chicago,and somebody would start screaming, "Oh, my God!"
她们想要签名合影 And then they wanna take pictures and have you autograph shit.
大家看 是詹姆斯！ Look, it's James, everybody!
YouTube和 Myspace上那个 共处一室！ On YouTube and Myspace. Look, same room!
我没想到上这个节目 会让事情变得这么疯狂 I had no idea about just the lunacy that was involved with this show.
（维基百科 詹姆斯莱茵）
人们做了支持网站和视频 People had made, like, tribute websites and tribute videos.
（2006电视真人最性感男人）
（老大哥 詹姆斯莱茵）
有粉丝是件疯狂的事情 It was crazy getting out of the house and finding out that you had fans.
（詹姆斯莱茵 #复古周四）
从那刻起 世界整个都变精彩了 From that moment, it was just... off to the races.
我记得第一个联系我的女孩 给我发消息时 I remember the first girl that hit me up. She would send me messages.
我还以为是陷阱 诈骗之类的 And I thought it was a trap. I thought it was, like, a setup.
最终我屈服了 Then finally, I just gave in.
什么事都是这样 一旦屈服 And, like with anything else, once you give in,
就是打开了闸门 it's, like, it just opens up those floodgates.
（转发：3 点赞：16）
发现我和其他女孩睡过后 她们依然想约我 Even when girls found out that I'd slept with all these other girls, they still wanted to hook up.
发现这点之后 And so, when you start seeing that...
你就会认为这种约会并不能当真 it conditions yourself that there's nothing real to this dating thing.
没有任何规范 You know, there's no rules.
我还在想：“你会出来吗？” -I was like, "Are you coming out?" -Hi.
-嗨 我不出来 -你好吗？ -No, I'm not coming out. -How are you?
-很高兴见到你 -又被放鸽子了 -Hi, good to see you. -Stood up again.
-今天第三次了 -不会是最后一次 -Fuck. Third one today. -Wouldn't be the last time, though.
-怎么样？ -我很好 饿了吗？ -How's it going? -Good. You hungry?
是的 当然饿了 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.
-去哪儿？ -杜兰戈 -Where is it? -Durango.
-那是哪儿？ -一个很远的地方 -And what? -Like, far away.
只要去过一次的地方 返程我都不需要用导航 Once I go to a place, like, when I go back to your house, I won't use the navigation.
我能记住路 I'll know how to get there.
前提是你还会邀请我去见你 Assuming I'm ever invited over to see you again.
别这么着急 -Um... -Let's not get crazy here.
都是自说自话了 不过管他呢 -Pretty presumptuous. - Whatever.
我在Bumble上见到詹姆斯时 When I met James on Bumble,
看到的是他和英国斗牛犬的合影 对我来说… he had a photo with an English bulldog, I think, and that for me...
爱狗的男人显然招人喜欢 Yeah, that's... I mean, guys with dogs. That's a go-to obviously.
谢谢 Thank you.
他迷人又友善 And he looked attractive, and he looked friendly,
没有裸上身的自拍 所以他的资料就基本很有胜算了 and he had no shirtless selfies, so that was a shoo-in for his profile.
我现在是风华正茂呢 Well, I'm in a pretty prime position right now.
我25岁 I mean, I'm 25...
而你年纪不小了 我们面对现实吧 Your biological clock is ticking. Let's be honest here.
-你是这么想的？ -你应该热烈追求我 You think so? You should be pressuring me.
这是答应结婚生子了？ So that's a yes to marriage and kids?
不一定是和我 但… Not with me necessarily, but...
你是活在未来世界吗？ -What's it like being in the future? -
我不喜欢答不出问题的自己 I don't like the fact that when I don't have a response...
我很困扰 --it bothers me.
不用说了 没事的 Just shut up. You're fine.
阿莱克西斯和很多女孩不一样 Alexis is not like a lot of other girls.
她让我倾心 She ran me over.
第三次约会会是怎样的？ So what's the third date gonna be like?
这就是说我们能有第三次约会了？ -Does that mean I get a third date? -
时间还早 你不说话我就当你答应了 It's still early. I'll take your silence as a yes.
和她见面的感觉很新鲜 It's so refreshing to meet someone like Alexis,
谈话逗趣都非常愉快 where you can have that healthy banter going back and forth.
我们非常投契 It's like we just click.
我跟你说 只要是我约你出来 都算我请客 I tell you, as long as I'm asking you out, the date's on me.
她的个性很特别 She has a very unique personality.
和很多我约会过的女生不一样 A lot of the girls I've dated, they just don't have that.
谢谢 Thanks.
她很有趣 很聪明 Yeah, she's really funny, really witty.
你也说了“海斯曼式拒绝” --Oh, and you say "the Heisman," too.
-好好笑 -谢谢 -I love that. -Thank you.
我喜欢她 I like her.
我凌晨两三点醒来 I woke up at about two, three in the morning
看到他的Snapchat视频提醒 and I see Snapchat videos popping up with him.
我想：“好吧 有意思” And I thought, "Oh, okay. Interesting."
有个金发小女孩完全贴着他 There's, like, a little blonde girl, like, all up on him
举着个考拉玩偶 and this little koala bear stuffed animal
特别轻浮地蹭他 that she was all, like, flirtatiously, like, just rubbed up against him, and...
我就觉得 “这什么垃圾 不忍直视” I thought, "This is garbage. Like, I don't wanna watch this."
考拉 Koala. Koala. Koala. Koala.
考拉 Koala. Koala. Koala.
我明白他要出外勤 要照顾客户 And I get it. He goes on his outings.
因为他是…这是他的工作 He has clients that he has to take care of 'cause that's his job.
但看到下一个视频… But it wasn't until there was another video right after that...
天花板上飘下彩带 Confetti goes flying from the ceiling,
她抓住一根落下的带子 and there's a little strand that falls down and she catches it,
挑逗地绕过他的脸 and she flirtatiously waves it in his face
包住他然后靠过去 and kind of wraps it around him and leans in,
就这么近 嘴唇很近 like, about this far apart. Their lips are close,
准备接吻 然后突然视频就断了 and they're ready to kiss, and then, poof, the Snapchat video cuts.
我给他发了条长信息 告诉他 I wrote him a long text message just telling him,
“我不明白你为什么要做这种事” you know, "I just don't understand, like, why you would do something like that."
这当然很伤人 It's hurtful.
他回复说 And he responded back, like,
“我不明白你在闹什么” "I don't know why you're acting like this."
意思就是我在无理取闹 You know, inferring that you're being just unreasonable.
很遗憾 我不知道我们到底是什么状态 So I don't know where we're at, unfortunately.
我希望我能知道 但他从那以后就再没找过我 I wish I did know, and, um... you know, he has not reached out to me since then.
昨晚很开心 是个芝加哥小妞 Last night was a lot of fun. A little Chicago lady.
比预计的还好 Everything went better than expected.
就快看给我惹上麻烦的那段视频了 We're about to come up to the one that gets me in trouble.
就这里 Right there.
不过我们及时刹车了 But we stopped at the right point.
那是昨晚 很开心 That was last night. It was a lot of fun.
我一醒就看到了发火短信 Till I woke up to, like, the hate text. You know?
“你和那个金发在搞什么？” "Uh, what's up with you and that blonde?"
-你在做什么？ -玉米卷 -What are you making? -Tacos.
怎么样？ What's up?
这周末我帮几个 来这里的芝加哥女生办单身派对 So this weekend I had some Chicago girls in town for a bachelorette party,
然后我们拍了小视频 你肯定看了… and our snaps, which I'm sure you saw... Well, you probably don't--
-金发那个？看了 -对 -The blonde one? Yeah, I saw that. -Yes.
如果詹姆斯 和别人在Snapchat里亲热 You know, if James is making out with somebody in a Snapchat,
就该玩完了 things are gonna end up here.
我们没在视频里亲热 不过也差不多了 There was no making out on video, but it was, like, close enough.
然后我就收到杰西卡的短信 “你亲那个女孩了？” And that's when I got a text from Jessica. She's like, "Did you kiss that girl?"
天呐 Oh, man.
我跟其他人一起的时候 When I am seeing a bunch of other people,
只用发些Snapchat all I have to do is post a couple Snapchats
烂醉一整个周末 and get really drunk over a weekend,
然后她们就不再跟我联系了 and then I'm no longer seeing anyone anymore.
这叫充电 战术性充电 It's called reloading. Tactical reload.
她真的觉得你们在约会吗？ Well, did she actually think you guys were dating?
技术上讲算是吧 我们约会了几次 We were technically-- We'd gone out on dates.
有一阵子没跟她说话了 她有点敏感 所以… Haven't talked to her in a while, and she is kind of sensitive, so...
你觉得发Snapchat 比直接告诉她更容易？ You thought it would be easier just to Snapchat than it would to be just to tell her?
我没这么想 I wasn't thinking while I was snapping.
对他来说 让她们主动跟他分手 要比让他说出… In a way, it's easier for them to break it off with him
（梅德琳 詹姆斯室友）
…“这已经不是我想要的了”更容易 "This isn't what I'm looking for anymore."
这样他就不用做这段关系中的坏人 Because then, he isn't the mean person in the relationship.
若要我给五个女孩打电话告诉她们 我为什么不想继续了 If I'm gonna call five girls and tell them I don't wanna date them,
这就要搞五次麻烦 it's just gonna create five times the drama.
太费事了 我可没时间 It's too much work. I don't have time to put that in.
我不想去照顾她们的感受 I don't want to deal with their feelings.
你还没跟我说过周三那个女孩 So you still haven't told me about this Wednesday girl.
那是哪一个？ Which one is that?
-哪一个？ -周三是阿莱克西斯 -Which one, right? -Wednesday was Alexis.
-她是谁？ -她是Bumble上认识的 -Who is she? -She is a girl I met on Bumble.
很有趣 我们来回聊天 But it was funny, because we were going back and forth over, um...
在Bumble或别处 Bumble talk, whatever.
她能懂我 她比我聪明多了 She gets it. She's a bigger smartass than I am.
我们随便乱聊 她拿我的年龄开涮 We're talking shit, and she's making fun of my age.
在餐馆里完全压制我 Literally shit on me in the middle of the restaurant,
我就坐在那儿 仿佛… and I just sat there, like...
仿佛…-詹姆斯 一个女孩… -我在试着 -Whoa! James, a girl... -Like... I'm trying to get in
-找一个词… -…让你无话可说 -a word edgewise without... -made you speechless.
-是啊 那… -一物降一物啊 詹姆斯 -Yeah, it was-- -God forbid, James Rhine
面对一个女孩无话可说 has no words to say to a girl.
-你没能扳回来？ -没有 -You had no comebacks? -Mnh-mnh. None.
有时我觉得他可能 I just sometimes feel like he may be a little bit lost
在整个情感关系中迷失了 in the whole scope of relationships, you know.
（凯莉 詹姆斯朋友）
这个是对的人吗？ 你找到对的人了吗？ I mean, is this the one? Have you found the one?
才两次约会 所以… It's two dates, so...
我觉得肯定有很多女孩 原本都有可能成为他对的人 I'm sure there have been plenty of girls who could have been that for him,
或者至少有潜在的可能性 or who may have potentially been that for him.
但因为他太… But because he's so...
他心思太活络 总想着… His mind is so all over the place as far as...
“下一个女孩是谁？” "Who's gonna be the next one in and out the door?"
总觉得还会有更好的人 You think there's always gonna be somebody better.
（逾四分之一约会应用使用者 表示选择太多）
（很难固定交往一个人）
你得赶紧安定下来 我们就不用听你 We just need you to settle down, James, so that we can stop hearing
-那些破事 -对 -about your shit. -Yeah.
（早 希望你最近过得还好）
詹姆斯 我不知道 他就是表现得超冷淡 James, well... I don't know. He's just been acting really standoffish.
Snapchat事件之后 就变得有点尴尬 After the whole Snapchat fiasco, things just got kind of weird.
（很不幸 我知道 我们之间闹得不太愉快…）
我很久没见他了 And I haven't seen him in...
我都不记得了 可能已经一个月了 I don't even know, almost-- probably a month now.
（近五分之一约会应用使用者 表示曾被“消失分手”）
（三分之一表示 对别人玩过“消失分手”）
今早我做了最后尝试 This morning, I gave it one last try.
（我想我们能不能当面谈谈）
他大概30分钟后回复 And he responded back maybe, like, 30 minutes later,
“什么时候？” and he says, "When were you thinking?"
（什么时候？）
我很高兴：“天啊 I was really happy, like, "Oh, man.
我们可能还有机会 Maybe there's still a chance between us.
他也许想要找到解决的办法” 但他读了消息 Maybe he wants things to work out." But then... he read it...
就在11点11分读的 然后再也没回复 exactly at 11:11 a.m. and never responded back.
所以… So...
（你不喜欢不关我事）
看 他三分钟前刚转发过推特… Look, he just retweeted three minutes ago...
27秒前 一分钟前都有 and 27 seconds ago and a minute ago...
三分钟前 五分钟前 three minutes ago, five minutes ago.
你这样不回我短信 When you don't respond back to my text message like that,
你还读过我的消息了 我当然会难过 and I see that you read it, that's gonna make me hurt.
这会让我…我就会开始胡思乱想 It's gonna make me... my mind start working.
女孩的直觉反应… 她们就会查你的社交媒体 Any girl's natural reaction, they're gonna go check your social media.
她们会看你的脸书 Instagram和推文 都会看 They're gonna go see on Facebook or Instagram, Twitter, whatever it may be.
就在现在 他还在转发这些垃圾 And then, right now, he's just retweeting all this garbage.
我觉得你不可以这样对一个女孩 You know, I don't think you should do that to the girl
你们都约会两三个月了 that you were dating for the past, I don't know, two, three months.
-嗨 -你好 -Hi. -Hello.
-你好吗？ -很好 -How are you? -Good.
-很高兴见到你 -很高兴见到你 Good to see you.
几周前 我还更热衷于那些约会应用 A few weeks ago, I was more active on, like, the applications, the dating apps.
现在就… And now it's more of, like...
可能是遇到了一件美好的事 所以… might possibly have a decent thing.
好随便 -That was so casual. -
我从没这样把卡放在桌子上过 I've never put my cards on the table like that.
好吧 Okay, fine.
我让你难堪了 我很愉快 I'm making you visibly uncomfortable, which is slightly enjoyable,
-但没关系 -当然 -but it's fine. -Obviously.
看到你难为情很有趣 It's funny watching you squirm.
我小时候很乖 -I was a good little kid. -
-童子军 祭坛助手 -后来怎么了？ -Boy Scout, altar boy. -Wow. What happened?
我现在就想做这些事情… That's one of the things I thought about actually doing now--
你想做童子军领队？ Wait, you want to be a Boy Scout troop leader?
可以考虑啊 我没有孩子 Yeah, I wouldn't mind. I don't have any kids of my own.
-那真棒 -确实不是坏主意 -That would be cool. -That's not a bad idea at all.
-准备好了？ -嗯 走吧 -Ready? -Yep, let's do it.
（气泡水）
有时我觉得 Sometimes I feel like
如果我孤独终老 那也无妨 maybe if I am single for the rest of my life, that's just the way I'm meant to be.
但有时候我又有点“感伤” And then there's other times where I just... I guess I do get kind of more "emotional" in that sense,
我觉得“我想有人陪伴” where I was like, "I would like someone."
我觉得阿莱克西斯可能就是那个人 With Alexis, I see that potential.
（妈妈最棒啦）
别碰照片 因为这样就会点赞了 Don't touch the photo, 'cause you're gonna like his photos,
如果我们现在看的是16周前的照片 and if I'm looking at his photos from, like, 16 weeks ago,
点赞就很吓人了 that would be really creepy.
你觉得他像谁？ Who does he look like to you?
（操你妈！）
-别碰 -我都看不清 -Don't touch it. Don't touch it. -Well, I can hardly see it.
这是他吗？我能触摸放大吗？ Can I touch this to make it bigger?
-不能 别碰 别 -好吧 -No, don't touch it. No. -Okay.
-这是他 -他这张像本阿弗莱克 -That's him. -He looks like Ben Affleck there.
我不觉得像啊 I don't think he does.
-他超好看 -你想听我的真实意见吗？ -He's super cute. -Do you want me to give my honest opinion?
-不想 没关系 -好吧 -No, I don't. It's fine. -Okay.
他有点老 我明白 He's a little older. I understand. I get it.
这是在你我年龄的中间段 I know. You're swimming in between my lane and yours.
对的 他比我大15岁 That's true. So he's 15 years older than me
比你小15岁 and 15 years younger than you.
我昨晚跟他说了 我已经发现了 I told him that last night. I figured that out.
我说：“我和我妈你都可能约会” I was like, "Technically, you could date me or my mom."
谢谢 -Thanks. -
他说：“算你走运 我不喜欢年纪大的女人” He's like, "Lucky for you, I'm not into older women."
你想想 我… You know, if you think about it, when I'm...
如果我30岁结婚 他就是45 You know, if I'm 30 and then we get married, then he'll be 45,
然后这样想下去 and then you just go on that whole, like, train of thought.
我想太远了 I'm getting way too ahead of myself.
但他很可爱 我传了… 我昨晚拍了他的Snapchat But he's cute. I showed... I took this Snapchat of him last night.
你知道“三门倒”的《氪石》吗？ You know that song "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down?
-最烂的歌 -我喜欢那首歌 -That's the lamest song. -I like that song.
真的？ -Really? -
-你们还是有共同点的 -很烂吗？ You and him have something in common. It's lame?
他每句都会唱… He knows every single word to the song.
-他这里像本阿弗莱克 -并不像 He looks like Ben Affleck there. Not really.
（他每句都会唱）
-谁会记得那首歌的歌词啊？ -那歌挺好的！ Who knows all the words to that song? That's a good song!
-代沟来了 -有可能 That's where the age difference comes in, I think. -Probably. -
他可爱 人好又聪明 我不知道 He's cute, and he's really nice, and he's smart, and I don't know...
-你喜欢他？ -我觉得我喜欢他 -So you like him? -Yeah. Yeah, I think I like him.
我们很快就意气相投 We clicked really easily,
随着对他了解越来越多 and just getting to know him more and more, he's just...
我觉得他超可爱 心又好 he's super sweet, and I think that he has a really good heart,
出身也不错 and he comes from a really good place.
看吧 我不知道 We'll see how it goes. I don't know.
也许我哪天该见见他 -Maybe I'll get to meet him someday. -
或者不该见 Or not.
不过我觉得他也开始有点喜欢我了 But I think that he is starting to like me a little bit.
他正在给我发信息 He's texting me right now.
（正在和朋友开派对 要来吗？）
龙舌兰 Tequila.
（明天我要工作）
上帝 Oh, Jesus.
-太糟了 -太糟了 -Too bad! -
（你醉了？）
（和朋友吃烧烤喝醉有什么奇怪的）
（我25 和我恋爱的40岁男人 在周一发消息来说）
（他在开派对 这就奇怪了）
（不是我要作 但这不太正常吧？）
（很遗憾你觉得40岁太老）
（已经不能和好友共享美好时光）
（希望你到我的年龄 还能和我一样享受生活）
（我不是这个意思 抱歉让你生气了 我喜欢你）
（相处愉快 祝你未来顺利）
（我真的很讨厌用短信说这事 方便的话给我打电话吧）
（拿我的年龄说事儿）
（太无礼了）
（同意 可以给我打电话吗？）
（好 非常明白）
（我越线了）
（我知道你有电话恐惧症）
（但这不是短信能解决的问题）
我短信里都已经说了 You know, I've already said via text,
“祝你未来顺利” you know, "Wish you the best."
这种场合我经历很多次了 我知道她们下面要干嘛 I've had these conversations many times. I know where they're gonna go.
她会努力道歉 想解决问题 She's gonna try to apologize, you know, and want to talk and work things out,
但这不是我的风格 and I just don't really have that in me.
这就是那种 我不知道 可能这就是… It's just one of those things where... I don't know, maybe this is where...
我不知道 I don't know.
（相处愉快 真心祝你未来顺利）
如果他找到了真心喜欢的女孩 If he finds a girl that he really likes,
他会找理由对她不专一 he can find some excuse not to commit to that one person.
什么理由都行 Or it could be, like, anything.
他可能不是有意伤害她们 He maybe doesn't mean to sabotage them,
但他似乎真的做了很多这种事 but he seems to do it a lot. A lot.
我觉得约会应用 让这样的循环变得容易 I think the dating apps make that kind of cycle a lot easier,
因为删除或抛弃一个女孩都太容易 because it is so easy to delete or let go of one girl
因为他们知道 还有50到100个姑娘排队等着 and then just know that there is about 50 to 100 lined up, ready to go.
也有追求一夜情的女孩 And there are girls who are just looking for one night stands, too,
只想找找随意相处的人 and who are looking just to have, like, casual encounters with.
想去哪儿 妈妈？ Where you wanna go, Mom?
-去草坪上吗？ -也可以啊 -Should we go on the grass? -Yeah, we might as well.
去那儿吧？ Wanna go over there?
第二天… The next day...
我很难过 I was upset about it.
糟透了 我是喜欢他的 Man, this really sucks. I like this guy.
他工作很好 He has a great job.
他很诙谐 他懂我的幽默 好极了 He's sarcastic. He gets my sense of humor. Great.
他很迷人 好极了 He's attractive. Great.
我想看看和他怎么发展 I was wanting to see where this would go,
他却说：“不 够了 and he's, like, "No, I'm good.
你说错了话 我翻篇了 再见” You said something wrong. I'm over this. We're done."
鞋带 那只呢？ The shoelace. Have you done that one?
我觉得这个姿势不合理 I don't think that's a legitimate pose.
-拉伸 -真舒服 -Stretch. -This is so enjoyable.
现在的世界和我小时候大不一样了 It's just a different world out there than when I grew up.
价值观完全不同 The values are all different.
你对别人投入了情感 The feelings you have for somebody,
别人未必也能投入一样多 it's almost like they don't ever get to that level if,
“我有点喜欢她 但我要去找其人了” "Oh, I kind of like her, but, eh, move on to the next one."
在情场 人们很快就… In the world of dating, people are so quick to...
当然我也一样 And again, I'm the same way.
迅速寻找下一个目标 You're on to the next. Moving on. There's something I don't like about you.
你有些地方我不喜欢 You know, okay, whatever. So it can go vice versa.
反之亦然 这就是丛林法则 But it's a jungle out there.
情场就是丛林 Like, dating is a jungle.
你怎样对别人产生真实的情感 How do you ever establish those true feelings for somebody
然后深入进去？ -and have any depth to those feelings? -I don't know.
不知道 所以我还单身啊 That's why I'm still single.
有消息我会告诉你的 --I'll keep you posted.
-谢谢 -我会给你发邮件 -Thanks. -I'll send you an e-mail.
我没有一天不想他 There is not a day that I don't think about him.
我讨厌他就这么走开 他是个懦夫 I just hate that he's running away. He's being a coward.
跟我说：“嘿 你知道吗？ Tell me, "Hey, you know what?
我就是觉得我俩走不下去了” I just really don't see us going any further."
我也会受伤 但同时我会感激他 It would hurt, yeah. But at the same time, thank you.
我就不用继续浪费时间了 Like, now I don't have to waste my time.
她想一起面对面谈一下 She wants to get together and, like, have a face-to-face
为什么我们不再见面了 as to why we're not seeing each other anymore.
我觉得我们的短信已经说得很清楚了 I thought our text messages pretty much explained it all.
这是我操蛋的人生中压力最大的一周 This is the most stressful week of my fucking life.
（我到了）
我好紧张 I was really nervous.
我一直就觉得：“我不知道” The whole time, I was just, like, "I don't know."
-你紧张什么？ -因为我有一阵子没见你了 -Why are you nervous? -Because I haven't seen you in a while.
现在事情都这么糟糕了 Things are just shit now.
我不知道你在想什么 I mean, I don't know what you're thinking.
我就是觉得在短信和各种事之后 一切就这样了 I thought after that whole text conversation, that that was it.
你的口气就好像是我疯了 You made it sound as if I was just crazy.
-我不知道为什么… -就像我说的… -I don't know why. -Well, like I said...
-为什么… -一个… -Like, why, like-- -Well, one--
你知不知道你这样很伤人？ Have you ever realized you hurt people?
最糟的就是你直接无视了我的短信 And the worst part was you just ignored my text.
你让我觉得我他妈是世界第一大蠢货 And, like, just-- you make me feel like the most stupid fucking person ever.
你可能觉得这并不算什么 但… Like, maybe you just don't think it's a big deal, but...
-对不起 -别道歉了 -I'm sorry. -Stop apologizing.
我觉得我们… I think, literally, we had--
我并不是说 之前我们之间的一切都一钱不值了 And I'm not saying this to take away from anything we had.
和你共处的时间很愉快 Like I said, I enjoyed spending a lot of time with you.
我没有什么可抱怨的 There's nothing negative I have to say.
你完全有理由生气 You were right to be upset.
在这儿意识到 It's not a good feeling to sit here
我伤了人 这可不好受 and to know that I hurt somebody like this,
你没有做错任何事 我不是故意的 because you've never done anything wrong to me, and it wasn't done with the intention.
我很抱歉搞成这个样子 You know, I'm sorry it ended like this.
我搞砸了 I fucked up.
无所谓了… Anyways...
好吧 All right.
所以… So...
这些是我约过的女孩名单 Yeah, so these are the names of the girls that I've been with and obviously,
都不够写了 要挤在边上 we've run out of room and had to wrap around to the side.
没有姓氏 新西兰的女孩 Tinder约炮 No last name. Girl from New Zealand. That was a Tinder hookup.
浴室…这样这样 那样那样 Bathroom at... Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
上帝 Jesus.
和杰西卡的对话 对我来说就是当头一击 The conversation with Jessica... that was a slap upside the head,
命门一脚 必须有人对我这么做 kick to the groin that I needed from someone.
就好像… That was just like, boom!
事实就是我他妈是个混蛋 And the reality is that I was a fucking asshole.
我能说说我的看法吗？ Can I make an observation?
当然 Of course you can make an observation.
我觉得你稍微放下了些许防备 I feel like you've kind of let your guard down.
你有点让我们稍稍走进你了 You're kind of letting us in a little bit.
对 Yeah.
很有意思 因为我和你们的对话内容 It's funny. The conversations I've had with you guys...
是我不会和别人谈起的 我不分享我的经历 are not conversations I have with people. Like, I don't share my experiences.
这个采访和回顾… 通过由我来讲述这些故事 This whole interviewing and show thing, by me telling these stories
一遍又一遍地听同样的内容… and just hearing the same things repeating over and over and over...
置身事外来看这些 And when it's put into perspective,
我意识到对40岁的自己来说 it's made me realize, for me being 40 years old,
这种行为是不可理喻的 it's just completely unacceptable behavior.
我们太自私了 We have become so selfish...
我觉得很大程度上是社交媒体的错 and I think a large part of that is due to social media.
我们再也慢不下来了 You know, 'cause we don't slow down anymore.
我们不再协商 思考来解决问题 We don't just talk things out and think things out.
我们意识不到 自己行为给他人造成的后果 We don't realize the consequences of our actions towards other people.
我百分之百受这些应用控制 I've been enabled by these apps 100%.
向左滑 向右滑 刷新看有多少赞 Swipe left, swipe right, you know. We refresh to see how many likes we have.
没有真实的东西 但又都是真实发生的事情 Nothing real and this has all been real.
你好像想了很多 It sounds like you've thought a lot about this.
我什么都没干 净想这些了 I've done nothing but think about this.
太疯狂了 我们生活在这个科技发达的世界 It's so crazy that, you know, we live in this technologically,
人们彼此的联系是那么疏远 like, advanced world and everyone's just, like, so disconnected from all of it.
都有点… It's also kind of...
我不懂你们这代人上网干吗 I don't get why your age group is even online.
你们都有社交 通过人来认识别人 You're social. You meet people through people.
但我们是社交障碍的一代人 But we're socially... We're, like, a socially inept generation.
在容纳300人的房间里 我在看手机 I'm in a room full of 300 people, but I'm on my phone.
严格来讲 我依然是孤单一人 So technically, like, I'm alone.
她们就是想善始善终 They wanted closure.
她们希望这个曾经觉得不错的男人 They just wanted this guy that they thought was super nice
曾经约会过 待她们不错的男人 that they were dating, that was treating them well,
能说明白为什么不再和她们说话 to say why he stopped talking to them for whatever reason.
也许我该给每个 约会过的女人打电话道歉 I should probably call every girl I've ever dated and just apologize to all of them individually.
那段烂关系我肯定翻篇了 I've definitely moved on past that garbage.
我真的想…找个老实人 I would really want just finding someone who's honest
找个不是24小时躲在手机里的人 and who doesn't hide behind their cell phone 24/7.
如果我真的想让自己的感情生活变好 If I am really serious about making this part of my life better,
现在是时候想想该如何改变了 maybe it's time to figure out what needs to change.
我知道有些改变我可以做到 There are certain things that I know I can change.
比如设定不同的寻人参数 Obviously, set different parameters on who I was looking for.
就因为你对别人来说有吸引力 Just 'cause you're attracted to someone
有机会与人亲热 and you have the opportunity to hook up with them,
不代表你就应该这么做 doesn't mean that you should.
这破事我早就该明白的 It is shit that I should have known a long time ago.
可能我还没准备好 Maybe I wasn't ready for it.
现在是开始的好时机 Now feels like a good time to start.
字幕翻译：张珺怡